


Evolution

by TidalDragon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A Spy Who Loves Her Mark, Dumbledore Doesn't Pay Attention, Eventual James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, F/M, Getting in Their Own Way, Heavy Allusion to Blackinnon, I'm Bad At Tagging, James Dates Another Girl, James Potter is a dork, Jily Get Married, Learning Too Much While Inside Somebody Else's Head, Legilimency, Lily Evans Loves Dorks, Love Doctor Remus Lupin, Marauders, Occlumency, Post-Slow Burn Whirlwind Romance, Professional Quidditch, Quidditch, Ridiculously Slow Burn, Room of Requirement Shenanigans, Slow Burn, Snape Leads the Voldemort Youth, jily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:33:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 72
Words: 212,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24110608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TidalDragon/pseuds/TidalDragon
Summary: From virtually the moment they met, James Potter and Lily Evans were at odds. He was a hex-happy prankster with talent comparable only to his loyalty and arrogance. She was a clever student with a kind heart, but little patience for rule-breaking. This is the story of how two apparent opposites came to realize they were, in reality, a perfect fit.COMPLETE
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 157
Kudos: 156





	1. Push Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow she was the one who got into his head

On his first morning home from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, James Potter awoke to the sound of rolling thunder. He rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms upward and then out before grabbing his glasses from his bedside table.

“Splendid day,” he muttered and hauled himself out of bed, staring through his rain-soaked window at the dark clouds over the Potter estate.

His room was a well-appointed one, with little space that was unoccupied by a piece of dark, hand-carved furniture or upholstered lounge chair. The walls had been covered with his own choice of decorations – pictures of special events and trips taken with his parents, a Gryffindor banner flanked by an enlarged photo of he and his friends on the right and his first quidditch jersey on the left. As he stepped onto the hardwood floor, he smiled. Few things were better than at Hogwarts, but he could definitely leave the cold stone of his dormitory behind.

Looking around for his sitting robe, James allowed his thoughts to wander to the day ahead. Doubtless his parents had already left for another full day of inspiring work, his father at the Ministry and his mother probably pressing for various reforms and regulations in the same building, provided she wasn’t off tending to one of her firm’s constituencies. His friends were settling in with their own families. For the time being, James felt as if the clouds were a heavy lid, keeping his energy bottled up still longer and somehow magnifying the weight of the frustrations that had characterized the end of his recently-concluded fifth year.

Everything had been going swimmingly until May. He, Sirius, and Peter had helped their good friend and sometime werewolf, Remus Lupin, through the last full moon of the school year. Gryffindor had been in line to finally wrest back the Quidditch Cup from Slytherin with James in fine form at chaser and Sirius once again proving deadly accurate with the bludgers. He had even successfully balanced hexing Snape at regular intervals, while escaping the ire of the creepy git’s sworn protector, Lily Evans – all while avoiding an excessive amount of time spent in detention.

The crack of a particularly bright bolt of lightning roused James from this early-morning introspection. He quickly donned the maroon and gold robe, which he had finally found pressed between his trunk and closet door, and started down the two flights of stairs separating his bedroom and the Potters’ kitchen. As he passed another exquisitely rendered family portrait on the landing between the first and second floors, James could finally smell the tantalizing combination of brewing coffee and frying bacon. Bounding down the final steps into the large entryway of the home, he skidded on bare feet around the corner and followed the aroma down the back hallway. To his right was the family’s inner courtyard, the site of many a prank planning session and ahead sat the Potters’ house-elf, Tinka, standing over several pans on the kitchen stove. James closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

“Master James!” exclaimed the startled creature. “Tinka had not expected Master to be up so early today!”

“You know I’m full of surprises. They don’t send mum and dad all those letters from school for nothing,” James replied, an amused smile brightening his face for a moment. “At any rate, I’d happily wait all morning for your cooking. Mum tries her best, but she just can’t fry a strip of bacon quite like you.”

The words of praise immediately sent the small, gray-skinned creature into a flurry of thanks, as she wrung her knobby hands excitedly on the dirty garment that stretched from her shoulders to just above her knees. “Is there anything Tinka can get for Master James while he waits?”

“Don’t think so,” James said casually, sitting down at the head of the table and picking him the copy of the _Daily Prophet_ his father had left behind.

The front page was dreadfully boring. More lines wasted on the Minister for Magic’s expected departmental appointments and Anglo-American Wizarding Relations. They seemed to go out of their way these days to minimize the visibility of reports on the attacks. They’d been happening with increased frequency lately, but toward the beginning of last term he’d found where they’d hidden them, using them to take up space in the dwindling classified section. He shook his head. He’d planned on today being a good day. Seeking out the quidditch insert however, James was further disappointed. Even for the early off-season there was a surprising lack of activity. The best piece to be found was a brief interview with Puddlemere boss Kyle McGarrigan, but it proved to be entirely devoid of substance, mostly just reflections on winning the title – again – to be sucked up joyfully by the legions of so-called fans who had probably never attended a match in their lives.

“Useless rag,” he grumbled before tossing it away. “Not a word about the start of qualifying. Wish I could owl the editor.”

Without the paper to distract him, his thoughts returned to May. It all started going downhill the third weekend when the team had lost the Quidditch Cup. The match with Ravenclaw had lasted forever. All that was needed was a fifty-point win. James had managed to tally fifteen goals and five assists, but somehow the Ravenclaw seeker had beaten their man to the snitch. Gryffindor still won the match, but only 360-320. The classic case of winning the battle yet losing the war. He’d spent hours afterward – hours that probably ought have been spent studying for O.W.L.s – dissecting the tactics he’d devised. Relying heavily on wing play had resulted in an exceptional start, but the team hadn’t drilled enough to be perfectly fluid in their fall back option. It had ended up playing right into their opponents’ hands as they were able to either shunt Maggie and Colleen to one side or isolate them without even having to deliver terribly accurate bludgers. It was a mistake he wouldn’t repeat.

Then there was the incident with Snape. No, he reminded himself. Snivellus. Calling him by any given name at all was too much credit for a dark wizard in the making. James had always found the sullen boy distasteful, from the moment he began extolling the supposed virtues of Slytherin on the platform. At first it had merely been that they didn’t see eye-to-eye. Fair enough. But by now the dislike was more than deserved. So was the hexing, even if it was humiliating and mean-spirited. And when James thought of what the little cretin had called Evans, after all she’d done for him…to call _her_ a mudblood? He clenched his fists tightly for a moment before the sensation of his fingernails digging into his skin made him relent.

He ran a hand through his hair. Lily Evans. The girl was exasperating. To put a confident, fun-loving attitude and occasional hexing of Snivellus on par with that piece of scum, clearly destined for Azkaban, was downright offensive. But it demonstrated once again how completely incomprehensible she was. For a time he’d imagined he could still impress her, yet no matter how many times he bested her in Transfiguration or Defense, she remained unmoved. That thought made him burn in a different way. James blinked and looked up. Tinka was waiting with a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and a muffin in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

“Merlin, Tinka!” James said, more harshly than intended. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Only five minutes. Tinka is truly sorry for interrupting Master James,” the elf began, “it’s just that…Tinka knows Master James has been waiting…”

Removing the scowl that had been firmly planted on his face, James tried to reassure the frazzled creature. “No need to apologize. I’ve just got too much on my mind this morning.”

Tinka took this as the right moment to leave James to his thoughts. As her young Master began to dig in to the food she had laid before him, Tinka crept backward toward the stove and counters, where much cleaning awaited. “Of course, Master James. Tinka hopes you will enjoy your breakfast.”

“Tinka,” James said suddenly. “You served my father in his study last night, didn’t you?”

“Yes, of course, Master James,” the elf replied. “Tinka serves wherever and whenever her family needs her.”

James leaned back in his chair and fixed his gaze on a point in the distance. “Any idea when he’ll be home today?”

“No, sir…” the elf answered reluctantly. “Tinka would expect no later than usual, but Master Fleamont did not say whether he had any special appointments before leaving. Should Tinka ask, sir?”

“No. Thank you, Tinka,” James said, casting his eyes back to his plate as the puzzled house-elf slipped away.

He smiled at her bewildered expression. She had served the Potters since before James was born and her concern over feeling unable to completely satisfy requests, even when further efforts were declined, was something that seemed to separate her from others. Most house elves he’d met would scurry off happily to the next task when relieved of an existing one. He couldn’t imagine living with such a yearning to please.

Alas, her answer was exactly the one he’d expected. When he was old enough to start asking why his friends’ parents were all so much younger, his had been forthright about the fact that his arrival had been a beautiful surprise. Accordingly, by the time the world met James Potter, both his parents were dedicated career professionals. They were there as often as possible and made sure that he wanted for nothing – yet there were occasions, even at his age, that he simply wanted their time. He supposed they’d have to follow the familiar ritual of catching up at dinner and trying to continue unfinished conversations after.

As he took a bite of egg, James’s thoughts turned back to school. One of the topics his parents would want to discuss would have to be the volume of letters he understood had been sent home, if not about him directly, certainly about the consequences of he and his friends’ antics. Still, even if the letters about his antics disappointed his parents, he more than made up for it with his grades, being second in his year only to Evans. He paused. She’d cropped up yet again. When they had started school together, she seemed to take issue with him straightaway, probably owing to her inexplicable friendship with Snivellus. So they’d grown up in the same town. It was still completely nonsensical, an enthusiastic, giving Gryffindor being so close with a brooding blood purist from Slytherin.

Nevertheless, for a time she had been fun to pick on in her own way. Always in the library or with her nose in a book in the common room, studying. Always following the rules. It was no wonder she’d been made a prefect last year. Though her perpetual kindness toward everyone else was the proverbial fly in the ointment when it came to teasing her too relentlessly, the rest gave them all plenty of source material. Especially the fact that despite being one of the first in their year to date seriously, she had steadfastly avoided further relationships with the boys at school. That had birthed he and Sirius’s brilliant idea for teasing her last year – asking her out constantly.

Of course, she always refused, but it was all in fun so James never took it as a blow. Until last year. Until that moment she displayed a kind of fire he had never seen before. She’d told him off dozens of times before, but there was something more charged, more deeply personal about her most recent effort. She was partly right. Even James could admit that he possessed an abundance of self-confidence – perhaps an overabundance at times – but was it truly _arrogance_? In all his life he couldn’t remember ever feeling so thoroughly rebuked by…well anyone really. Certainly not a girl his own age. As he sat in his kitchen and took another bite of his breakfast, he suddenly realized the meaning of the burning he felt when he thought of her. It wasn’t just a game anymore. Somehow, _she_ was the one who got into _his_ head.

Miles away and almost an entire summer later, Lily found herself thumbing through a stack of letters on her desk at home. She counted them again, as if knowing the number would somehow help her. “Thirty-seven,” she spoke aloud to no one in particular.

Lily sighed. These letters, of course, all came from one person. Severus Snape. Lily hadn’t seen Severus all summer. She had all but ignored him when he tried to say goodbye at school and again as they exited the Hogwarts Express at Kings Cross Station. After years of close friendship and a summer apart – the first since they were nine – she couldn’t stop reliving moments from the previous school year.

Far from being the quiet, picked-on schoolboy he had always been before, Severus had changed. He had always taken a certain interest in the darker materials in the restricted section at Hogwarts, but when she saw him leaving those stacks last September, it was the first time he wasn’t alone. He was with two Slytherin house-mates, Avery and Mulciber, both of whom had a well-known interest in dark magic and similarly well-known views on the importance of blood purity. Worse, from the bizarre wand movements he was surreptitiously showing them, he appeared to be teaching them spells of some kind. Hexes, she remembered thinking.

Lily had always tried to stand up for her best friend when he had been picked on, pranked, or hexed – standing up for victims was in her nature and she was even more motivated to do so when the culprits were James Potter and his band of buffoons. The characterization was perhaps harsh on her fellow prefect Remus, but despite their friendship she recognized that he wasn’t entirely innocent either. In years past Severus had always accepted her help, even if he’d never exactly shown gratitude for it, but over the last year he’d become almost dismissive of it. The more he insisted on fighting his own fights, the more he seemed to instigate them, as much as she hated to admit it. Though his attempts on Potter never seemed to come off, it was clear to Lily that Severus was trying to best the other boy with a different kind of magic than most students at Hogwarts were familiar with.

It had all come to a head toward the end of May. Potter, encouraged by his chief accomplice, Black and ignored, much to Lily’s chagrin, by Remus, had hexed Severus again. This time it was with one of the strange spells that Severus had tried to use against Potter before. She had been able to put a stop to it at first. Potter even had the gall to use her care for Severus to try and get a date out of her. She had shot him down immediately, but at least it was over. Rather than thank her, even later, privately, Severus had said it. He had called her that name. She shuddered reliving it. The boy she’d considered her closest friend in the world had called her a mudblood. Lily had been furious. She had told them both off before storming away.

The thirty-seven letters she now held in her hands were thirty-seven separate attempts over the nearly two months they had been out of school to apologize. They had started short and ashamed. But over time their length grew and the content pleading. He was increasingly desperate. Of course, living so close to one another, Severus had also tried to apologize in person. She’d listened. Tried to internalize his words. She had tried to find a way to accept them. But the more Lily thought about all of it, the further she moved away from forgiveness. After all they had shared together, Severus simply missed the point every single time. While the name had stung, cut even, coming from him, the problem was bigger than that. Severus had become someone completely different. He was no longer the resilient victim nor the boy she had met so long ago, with a pure love for all of magic. He was bitter. He was aggressive. He was being slowly consumed by darkness. The slur was a cruel, hateful word. But the problem was what it meant about him. As she counted the letters a final time, Lily realized that the person he had become was a person she simply couldn’t reconcile with.

With a quill in her hand, and parchment on the table, she began to write:

_15 August 1976_

_Severus:_

_I know you stopped by many times this summer to try and see me. I know Petunia sent you away. I got your thirty-seven letters, trying to apologize for what happened in May._

_This summer without you has been painful. There have been so many times that I have wanted to write you or find you. But something has always stopped me. No matter how bad Petunia has gotten or how lonely I’ve been, I keep running into a wall. Your letters have all told me how much you value me as a friend and as a witch. I’ve read as you’ve poured your heart into those pages, apologizing for the pain you caused me when you called me that terrible name._

_Still, the pain that moment caused me is nothing compared the pain associated with what I realized before starting this letter. We have been friends since we were nine. I know your life at home in Spinner’s End has been a hard one and I know that while Hogwarts has magic, your life there is not much better. As your friend, I always tried to help you. I always tried to make it better._

_But you’ve changed. You didn’t turn to me for support after a hexing. You turned to the books in the restricted section. You didn’t turn to me for comfort when your spirits fell. You turned to plans for revenge on Potter and Black and anybody else who hurt you. You didn’t turn to friendship in your worst moment. You turned to hate._

_You see, before I started writing this letter, I realized that it was never the slur that was stopping me. It was what it meant about you. I am afraid for you Severus. I am afraid of how the magic you keep chasing is changing you. I am afraid of the effect of the company you keep. I am afraid that if our friendship wasn’t strong enough to keep you from turning to hate, then you are being consumed by darkness, from inside and out._

_When you turned that hatred on me in May, I didn’t want to see it. But I can’t ignore it anymore. I can’t justify our friendship anymore when any common values we ever had are so withered away._

_Please don’t try to change my mind. You’d only be wasting your time._

_Lily_

When she finished writing, Lily set down her quill and cried. Before she could stop them, several had managed to splash the page. Finally, as her sobs subsided Lily glanced at the clock on her wall. It was 4:30 in the afternoon. In the corner of her room, Lily saw her owl, Frederick, looking early toward her, his eyes begging to be released from his cage to deliver the news. As she folded the letter and tucked it inside a fresh envelope, she turned back to the owl with a sad smile upon her face. “I’m sorry Frederick. This is a letter I need to deliver myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello one and all and welcome to Evolution, a story that I hope will prove to be a truly realistic look at how James Potter and Lily Evans ever got past their differences to become a legendary couple. Though you’ve probably seen that you’re in a long ride before clicking in, I will also take this opportunity to warn you that if you’re looking for a story with a quick payoff where the ship is concerned, this will not be that story. Given their extensive, largely negative personal history to this point, I am a strong believer that the progression from James v. Lily to James/Lily had to be a slow (slow slow slow) burn.
> 
> Also, this story will focus significantly on the complexity of both Lily and James as characters and the lives of others around them – including the world they live in. These are factors I see as a necessary precondition for the growth required to take place and so this will also not be a story that focuses exclusively on the development of a relationship between them. Both characters will have relationship-based issues that prevent James/Lily from being the only serious relationship before their endgame pairing. Capturing all this, will mean plenty of POV switches whether from chapter-to-chapter or scene-to-scene as you’ve read here.
> 
> If all this sounds good to you, you’re definitely in the right place and I look forward to sharing these characters and their journeys with you! If you’ve been reading before, you’ll find that the story has undergone some heavy edits to condense certain chapters and remove unnecessary sub-plots.
> 
> Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like and review below!


	2. Family Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Women have a gift for that, leaving the boy in the past when the man emerges."

The night before she headed back to Hogwarts was always a tense time in the Evans household. Though Petunia had dropped any pretense of sisterhood to Lily’s face, in front of their parents the older girl insisted on photographs and making sure her little sister could import at least a small bit of muggle fashion to the school. This year, Petunia’s contributions included a used pair of go-go boots and a golden, braided headband she claimed to have made herself. Lily had survived the ensuing miniature fashion show without groaning despite her parents’ celebration of Petunia’s generosity. Why they willfully ignored the fact that nothing she gifted even remotely fit Lily’s wardrobe was beyond her, but at this point she was beyond caring. The headband didn’t fit – typical – but she imagined the color would still look nice on her after a shortening charm.

The folderol at an end, Petunia had retreated to her room quickly, leaving Lily downstairs staring at their bookshelves as she debated which books to bring back with her. While some of her favorite fiction would provide a nice interlude, she was concerned about leaving some of her foundational texts, particularly those from last year, behind when she might need to them. Her dog-eared copies of _Candide_ and _Pride and Prejudice_ would be cold comfort when she needed to remember old potions and precursor charms.

As she weighed the latter against her copy of _The Comprehensive Guide to Magical Ingredients and Augments_ , she felt an arm wrap around her. She eased into the embrace, letting her head loll against the small shoulder next to her.

“Hey, mum,” she sighed.

“Why is my precious girl so glum?”

Lily lifted her head up and cast both the books in her hands onto her dad’s armchair before turning to face her mother. “Not glum…it’s just…another year, more challenges. We start working for our N.E.W.T.s this year and I’ll have such a full class load going for the Academy–“

Catherine Evans smiled back. “If anyone can handle it it’s my daughter,” she beamed. “We are so proud of how hard you’re working – how well you’re doing. Your father was telling me just the other day that he wished he’d had the discipline for his dreams that you do.”

“Will he be back before…”

She took Lily’s hands. “You know he wants to be sweetheart. He’s going to talk to Mr. Miller and see if there isn’t a way to get the problem fixed before we have to send you off.”

“What is it this time?”

“Oh who can ever be sure. They said it was something with the smelter when they called him back in tonight, but last time it was the smelter it was really some fool on the assembly line who’d punched the man working the smelter.”

“They really called him in about the smelter?”

“It’s Mr. Miller’s factory now. He’s a demanding man. Mr. Hadley and Mr. Martin down the way were called in too and they’re more important men than your father.”

“I suppose.”

“Don’t be angry with him, Lily.”

“It’s fine, mum. Really.”

“We’ll be with you – your sister and I.”

Lily looked at the books in the chair behind her. “There’s just so much that’s going to be different this year.” Her mind began running a place she’d promised herself to close. She needed to stay the course. “I’m not mad at him. Honest,” she said, tacking on the last word for extra emphasis in the hopes her mother would leave well enough alone.

“Is there anything…else…on your mind?”

“Mum…” Lily felt her impatience getting the better of her. If she could just make these selections…

“I know things haven’t been right this summer. You’ve been here far too often and I don’t think I’ve seen that friend of yours other than a few brief chats he had with Petunia. Is everything alright?”

Lily took a deep breath. “It’s fine.”

“So that’s it then? You’re simply no longer friends? After all these years?”

“Mum, I honestly don’t want to talk about it.” She stepped away to grab another pair of books from the shelf.

“You need to talk to _someone_ ,” her mother prodded. “I know I’m only your mother, but if something’s happened you needn’t deal with it alone. I’m sure it could be patched up, whatever it is. You’ve always told us he’s a good boy.”

“He’s not,” she snapped.

“Lillian!” the older woman gasped. “I don’t appreciate that tone in my house.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Well what could it be? Did he try to get fresh with you?”

Lily’s face contorted in disgust. “Mother! No! He just…he isn’t a good person. I’ve had to accept that.”

“And this has nothing to do with–“

“No.” She grimaced again, shaking her head. “I can’t even imagine that.”

After a few moments’ silence passed between them, her mother pulled her in for a hug and kissed Lily lightly on the cheek. “You’ll see your other friends soon. Things will get better.”

“Okay, Mum,” Lily smiled, releasing her from the embrace.

It was the night before James was set to leave for another year at Hogwarts and instead of packing, he was waiting patiently in his father’s study. Waiting on his father was nothing new for James. He had learned from an early age that his father was an important man. Of course, Fleamont had never missed an opportunity to show James how much he loved him, but as Head of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, he was a busy man, even on a Sunday. Having signed one last document, the older wizard looked up.

“Done for the day,” he stated plainly. “It seems St. Mungo’s will have their opportunity to research better methods of healing tissue and organ damage resulting from hemorrhagic curses.”

“Sounds…excellent, Dad,” James replied tepidly.

The elder Potter laughed. “I’m sorry son, but one of these days you’re going to have to spend your time on the less exciting aspects of life. Even quidditch managers – or stars –“ he added with a wink, “have quite a bit of paperwork to do.” His father looked at James over the thin, square frames of his glasses. Organizing the documents he’d worked on that evening into loose stacks he left his desk to sit in the armchair across from his son’s. “Still, I have kept you waiting here far too long already. I’m surprised a sixteen year-old spirit could stand it. Especially yours,” he winked.

“I understand–”

“Nonsense, James,” his father interrupted. “I want you to accept my apology.”

“I accept it,” James replied briskly.

Mr. Potter raised an eyebrow. “I gather something in particular is on your mind?”

“Well…school’s about to start and I’ve got something of a problem,” James responded tentatively.

“I see. Finally been expelled have you?” James’s father asked, grinning.

“Not yet,” James smirked. “I’m afraid you and mum will have to keep buying all the school rubbish in Diagon Alley.”

“Blast!” exclaimed Fleamont, swiping his fist. “Cut to it then.”

James looked downward, before starting to get up. “Nevermind. It’s a waste of time. Madness. And it would be awkward anyway.”

The older man squeezed his arm and James sat back down begrudgingly. “I can only think of one thing that would be awkward for the two of us to talk about.”

“Dad…”

“I was your age once, James. Though it was my understanding you’d had this part of your life under control since fourth year.”

James rolled his eyes. “If that’s your idea of control, I don’t know. But this is different.”

“Ahh. Well, who is she then?”

“Her name’s Lily Evans. She’s in Gryffindor –”

“Excellent start,” Mr. Potter interrupted.

“Exactly. She’s in my year too. I’ve only just figured it out this summer really. Probably after I’ve screwed it all up,” James muttered darkly. “I’m not really sure how I missed it all this time, but she’s beautiful… red hair…amazingly clever…she even manages to outstrip me in Charms and Potions,” he ran on, “though I definitely have her number in Defense and Transfiguration. Also, she’s very bold…stands up for what she believes in…but still full of kindness…” James trailed off, slightly out of breath.

“You _are_ quite taken with this Miss Evans,” Fleamont laughed. “Now how have you screwed it up?”

Running a hand through his hair, James sighed. “We’ve not really seen eye-to-eye since day one. Sirius and I got into an argument with this Slytherin – real blighter – that turned out to be her best friend from back home on the platform in Hogsmeade first year. Plus she likes rules, which is…not my natural state.”

Fleamont gave a light chuckle.

“I also may have taken a certain pleasure in teasing her over the years. Repeatedly hexing said best friend. Honestly, she completely told me off at the end of last year and…yeah,” James finished resting his chin in his hand.

His father leaned his neck back in his chair and stared upward in thought. “Son,” he started, “I’m glad you came to me. Merlin knows I needed advice when I was your age. After all, why do you think it took so long to have you?” he chuckled.

James winced. “Really?”

“Alright, alright. No more of those.” He put his hand on his chest and straightened his back. “It’s a promise.”

“Thank Merlin…”

“James, the short version is this,” he said, fixing his eyes on his son’s. “For every boy, there comes a time to choose the man you want to be. It always takes some sort of kick in the pants. I was the same. But perhaps this little revelation is yours.”

James swallowed. “Say it is. What am I supposed to do?”

“Start showing the world – and Miss Evans – who you really are. Hogwarts has only seen part of you,” the elder Potter said firmly. “That’s the surface. Your mother and I, perhaps your friends, we are sometimes lucky enough to see what lies beneath. It takes courage to bare your true self to those around you. Especially to those around whom you feel most vulnerable,” he continued.

James frowned.

“It’s difficult, son. Important things always are. You may get stung. It may make no difference. But that’s life, James. Sometimes though, and I’ve found it’s usually the times it really counts, it is accepted. If this witch is as smart _and_ kind as you say, she’ll forget about the boy who didn’t understand himself yet. Women have a gift for that, leaving the boy in the past when the man emerges.”

James Potter sat in silence for a moment. In all the times he had spoken to his father, James honestly didn’t believe he’d ever been told so much. At least not at once. Leaning his neck back and running his hand through his hair, he sighed.

“Son,” Fleamont said gently, “it will be exactly as hard as it seems right now. But I can tell you one thing – girls like the one you’ve described have standards and they’ll demand you measure up. If you’re lucky enough to do so they’ll make you better. And more of a man than the casual and cocksure boy you used to be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First off, thank you to everyone who has been reading! This chapter is an effort to establish part of where the characters will stand entering this year, but also to introduce an aspect that I find goes oft-ignored in most fics set primarily at Hogwarts and in the Marauders Era in particular – the family dynamics. In their own ways both parents in this chapter try to push their children toward more emotional maturity something they both (yes, Lily included) need to improve.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	3. Midday Train to Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The only tougher task would be getting her to accept one of your requests for a date!"

After an excruciating summer, Lily was glad to be headed back to school for her sixth year. As she waited for the Hogwarts Express to depart Kings Cross Station, the striking sixteen year-old Gryffindor was perched comfortably in one of the train’s many compartments waiting for her friends and roommates, Marlene McKinnon and Alana Hooper, to find her. In the meantime, she carefully studied her copy of _Advanced Potion-Making_ for Professor Slughorn’s N.E.W.T.-level potions class, determined to get ahead of the curve. Thinking back to cutting ties with Severus over the summer, she realized potions had probably not been the best place to start. Slughorn’s class was bound to be quite a different experience than years past. Despite Severus’s exceptional ability in the subject, she would have to find a new partner. For the first time, Lily would also be without Marlene and Alana, whose careers of choice kept them far away from cauldrons. She could only hope the same was true for Potter and Black. The last thing she needed was to endure more of their juvenile bullying without a buffer.

Lily’s thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a vivacious blonde and a short-haired brunette. Finally, she thought, quickly stashing her textbook to avoid Marlene and Alana’s good-natured teasing.

“Lily!” the blonde exclaimed excitedly, pulling her friend into a hug. “It’s so good to see you again!”

“You too Marlene,” Lily quickly replied. “I’ve missed you even more than usual this summer. You too, Alana,” she added, turning quickly to hug her other friend.

“I’m so sorry you weren’t able to join us,” Alana replied. “France really was wonderful. It’s a shame your parents wouldn’t let you go.”

“Difficult to write though unfortunately,” Marlene added reluctantly. “We had so much to share…it’s just…well, you know Gidget and Hammie. I’m not sure they’d have survived the trips.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lily said, swatting away their concerns with a flip of the hand. “I think they honestly would’ve let me go, but my sister Petunia threw such a fit about it that I’m not sure they would’ve been able to endure her if they had given permission.”

“Still being a brat then?” asked Alana. “I thought that was supposed to be the youngest…”

Lily slapped her arm playfully. “Shut it! And yes, she was completely insufferable this year. Possibly moving out soon though, thankfully.”

There was a brief lull in the conversation as the two new arrivals in the compartment stowed their trunks and other belongings. The silence left time for Lily’s mind to linger on her older sister. For the longest time, Lily had thought the bitterness that had grown between them would fade. Still, years later their relationship seemed worse than ever. Fortunately, the whistle announcing their departure interrupted her depressing train of thought and she soon jumped back into conversation with Marlene and Alana. Despite her inner turmoil, Lily made a conscious effort to plaster a smile upon her face.

Later, in a compartment near the front of the train, James sat watching while Remus heckled Sirius and Peter during a game of Exploding Snap. James knew his relative silence would not go unnoticed for long, but his thoughts kept returning to his red-headed classmate. What his father had said yesterday was all well and good, but as a master prankster and newly-minted Quidditch Captain, James knew he needed an actual plan. He had the end result – change for the better – but there was so much left unknown. What to change. How much. And most importantly, how to get Lily to actually notice, rather than dismiss him at first sight with a withering glare.

“Oi, Prongs!” Sirius yelled in his ear. “You promised me you’d lay out your plan to claim the Quidditch Cup! We’re nearly halfway there and I’ve barely got a word out of you.”

“Right. Sorry,” James said quickly.

“Well, have you got it all set in that head of yours yet or are you open to suggestion?”

Over the summer, James’s plans for the team had become rather firm, assuming tryouts went well, but he found himself more in a listening mood at the moment. Making a conscious effort to brighten his demeanor, James smiled. “Padfoot, would I deny you the opportunity to wag your tongue about tactics?”

“No! Excellent. Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about our attacking formations. Part of how we got done in last year was we didn’t leave many lines for me to send bludgers through the middle of the pitch, so–”

James’s focus on his best friend’s thoughts on their favorite sport was suddenly interrupted by the sight of auburn hair in his periphery. Lily was strolling down the corridor toward their compartment, her face lit up with laughter. She appeared to be sharing a joke with one of the Hufflepuff prefects on the way to the mid-trip prefects’ meeting. Tearing his attention away from her face, and the bright smile now firmly fixed there, James took her in. She hadn’t cut her hair over the summer so that it now fell an inch or two past her shoulder blades. She was already in uniform, sans tie and robes. Her blouse was buttoned perfectly according to code, but James could easily make out the lines of her upper body in her perfectly-fitted sweater. In the back of his mind, James knew he had only precious little time left before she drew close enough to notice him staring. Quickly, he followed the end of her regulation sweater to her skirt, which flared out nicely from her hips until it stopped exactly at the middle of her knee. She moved gracefully toward them, with the cat-like effortlessness that the comeliest of witches always do.

Suddenly his reverie was interrupted. She was turning her head in their direction. His brain sounded the alarm with pure panic and he snapped his neck toward the window, pretending to watch the passing countryside. How could he have forgotten the prefects’ meeting? He’d just _seen_ her with another prefect.

He heard her rap lightly on the door beside him and after taking a quick breath decided to use it as an excuse to turn back toward her. Normally door duty fell to Peter, but this time James stood, lifting the latch and letting her in.

“Thank you P…” her voice hitched slightly as she actually turned to see it was him, “…Potter.”

“Good holiday?” he asked.

“Splendid.”

Someone cleared their throat behind him. Looking over his shoulder he saw Remus wearing a bemused expression. “Mind getting out of the way?”

“Right,” James said, taking his seat so Remus could squeeze between he and Peter.

“See you in a bit, lads,” the blond wizard said, following Lily out the door and down toward the front of the train.

"Tired, James?” Sirius needled. “Or enjoying the view?”

“What?” James asked quickly, hoping the full measure of attention he’d paid their housemate hadn’t drawn his best mate’s attention.

“Well, I could tell about mid-way through my brilliant explanation of why we’d do well to ditch the Hawk Formation for the Flying-V that you weren’t paying any attention,” the boy responded, moving to take Remus’s seat beside James. “Who was it then? O’Donnell? Blake?” Sirius stared down the length of the train car.

Looking back outside the window, James was relieved to find that a group of Hufflepuff and Gryffindor girls had congregated to talk. He noted the two voluptuous blondes Sirius had mentioned, Shannon O’Donnell and Whitney Blake, amongst others.

“You’re always after the blondes, Padfoot,” James chuckled, trying to deflect the question.

“Clever, Prongs,” Sirius prodded, “but which of the lot has caught _your_ fancy?”

James realized his mistake in dismissing the names offered and hurriedly looked for a viable candidate. Just as the silence was about to become awkward, he was spared by the emergence of Katie Wallenby, a fellow Gryffindor with chestnut brown hair and a lithe figure. He quickly pointed, playing off the delay with a smirk.

“Wallenby?” Sirius asked, appraising her. “Well she’s…spirited. And our year too. Still…she’s hardly your usual mark, Prongs. You really going to give chase?”

Regardless of his affable tone, James knew Sirius didn’t see the appeal. He’d always preferred the _Witch Weekly_ crowd with all their Glamour Charms and Potions. “Well, I _am_ a chaser after all, aren’t I?” James retorted. “Nobody said I had to stick to quaffles.”

“Good thing you’re not after O’Donnell,” Peter chimed in, “You two might’ve had to duel.”

James laughed, hoping Sirius hadn’t noticed Lily before the gaggle of girls had appeared. If it all worked out, he was prepared to take whatever ribbing – or worse – they dished out. If not…well, knowing his friends they’d never let him hear the end of it.

“Sirius can have O’Donnell. I’ve got other things on my agenda.” James said loftily.

“Wallenby…” Sirius wrinkled his nose and shrugged, standing to yank his pack down from atop his trunk. “Anybody for a chocolate frog?”

Peter predictably stuck a hand out, catching the box that was suddenly tossed in his direction.

“Maybe he could come out for seeker, James,” Sirius quipped, “Give Davies a run for his money.”

“Shut up, Sirius,” the portly boy snapped, throwing the empty cardboard back across the compartment and hitting his long-haired friend in the back.

“Bloody ingrate,” Sirius grumbled.

Before long, James fell back into the comfortable mix of their banter and their conversation slid toward their summers and eventually onto plans they’d come up with for the year ahead. He’d have to find some way to quell Sirius’s quest for what he was calling the most relentless string of pranks Hogwarts had ever seen or the group would never find itself out of detention. He supposed McGonagall might make an exception for quidditch, but then again it hadn’t stopped her from causing them to miss, among other things, the Halloween Feast and more than one trip to Hogsmeade.

As Sirius and Peter revived the game that they’d abandoned earlier, James swapped places to take a window seat. No rain had fallen on this trip and the passing panorama of grassy fields and rolling hills basking in the sunshine reminded him of home. Hogwarts was a heaven of its own kind, but he did miss the diminished opportunity to roam the outdoors that he had back in Stroud.

He heard a click and turned around just in time to see Remus coming through the door. “How was this year’s edition?” James asked.

His friend sighed. “Not nearly as captivating as advertised when it started. Apparently the Heads and I have very opposing definitions of the phrase ‘this year will be different.’ What did you lot get up to?” A crack sounded and Peter yelped. “Aside from still another game of Snap, obviously?”

Sirius ditched said game almost immediately, throwing his arm around Remus and shepherding him to the empty seat. “Birdwatching,” he grinned.

“Dare I ask the identity of your unfortunate victim?”

Sirius recoiled in mock horror, clutching his heart. “Remus! You wound me!”

“It’s Shannon O’Donnell.” Peter laughed.

Remus rolled his eyes.

“James fancies Wallenby,” Sirius said dismissively.

“Well, I’m glad to see someone’s aiming high anyway.” Remus socked James in the shoulder.

James moved to change the subject. “I suppose that makes it time for our annual resolutions, doesn’t it?”

At this, Peter butted back in. “I’ve got my resolution ready this year!” he almost shouted. James immediately thought back to last year’s train ride, when Peter had tried to dodge their annual tradition and been teased mercilessly for his lack of preparation.

“Eager Peter,” joked Sirius. “Out with it then.”

“I’m going to pull a prank all by myself this year,” the shy, squat boy boasted.

“Oh ho!” Sirius howled. “Tell me when. I want a ticket for this show!”

“You don’t think I can?” Peter accused.

“Come on Wormtail, don’t take it so hard. It’s just you’ve never done it is all. It takes a certain flair that only comes with trial, error, and loads of detention,” James remarked.

“I’m sure it will come off,” Remus said diplomatically. “As for me, I’ll be aiming to be a bit more sociable. Perhaps actually get a date or two for Hogsmeade.”

“Aww, how practical of you Moony,” Sirius teased. “Mine’s simple. Quidditch Cup or bust. What about you, James? Aside from Wallenby of course…”

Now, James found _him_ self unprepared. Sirius’s goals tended to be far loftier and drawn out. This year he had hoped that would give him some time to think of a cover, as he had no intention of announcing his real goal to his friends.

“I’ve got several, actually,” James responded. “Though Sirius has stolen one,” he muttered, feigning annoyance.

“Come on then,” Sirius prodded once more. “Don’t tell me you’ve gone and pulled a Peter on us…”

“Hey!” Peter yelped defensively.

“Pssh!” James scoffed. “Let’s just say, I’m aiming to make a big impression this year. Be the best I can be, in every respect.”

“Too vague, Prongs,” Sirius scolded disapprovingly.

“Too vague? Well then. By the end of exams, I’ll have knocked Evans off her perch at the top of our year,” James responded sternly. The three others in the compartment laughed heartily.

“Quidditch, pranks, girls, our moonlit weekends…I don’t think you have nearly the time needed to pull off that feat, James. That’s ignoring of course that she’d actually have to falter.” Remus said as he shook his head in disbelief.

“Well, you’ve always been bold, Prongs,” Sirius chuckled. “But I think you’ve signed up for certain disappointment there. The only tougher task would be getting her to accept one of your requests for a date!”

Sirius, Remus, and Peter all laughed hysterically. As the train rolled to a stop, they were too busy appreciating Sirius’s latest joke to notice the frown that suddenly darkened James’s expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You’ll note I’ve invented some characters here. Unfortunately canon is pretty scant on who was at Hogwarts with James and Lily, let alone who was in their year. I think Marlene McKinnon is probably the closest bet (aside from the Marauders and Snape), but going forward I am just going to invent anyone else who is supposed to be in their year or at Hogwarts at the same time. Some of these invented folks will serve a purpose for the story, some will just be extras with a name.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	4. A Helping Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's...well it's your face. You've got a bit of ink there on your right cheek."

When James and Sirius had learned their schedules for the year, neither was pleased to discover that N.E.W.T.-level Potions would be the first class of the day.

“Bloody Potions!” Sirius grumbled as he squeezed through the door to Professor Horace Slughorn’s classroom. “All the carefulness and specific little instructions are bad enough without having to listen to him drone on straight after breakfast.”

“Getting shown up by Evans and Snivellus isn’t exactly how I’d choose to start my day either mate,” James commiserated. “At least we won’t have to dread it all day like last year.”

“Those two. Don’t remind me. What she sees in that slimy git I’ll never know,” Sirius said before pretending to gag.

As the last pair to file in, James and Sirius took their usual seats in the back of the classroom. James took the opportunity to glance around the room. Snape was hard to miss, sitting right up front like the teacher’s pet he was. Or pretended to be. However, James was pleasantly surprised that he was _not_ accompanied by Lily. Instead, his partner appeared to be an equally greasy Slytherin, Jayne Mulciber. Smirking at his rival’s apparent abandonment, James quickly sought out the object of his affections, finding her seated in the middle of the classroom, alongside a fellow Gryffindor, Lionel Baird. It was a shock to James that Baird had even qualified to take the course. In classes, he’d seemed awful at the subject, though he must have eked by come exam time.

“Looks like ol’ Snivelly’s lost his guardian with that little outburst at the end of the year,” Sirius whispered.

However, James was still concentrating on the girl several rows up, who was smiling and talking animatedly with their classmate. Though he knew he owed it to Sirius to keep their successful partnership running into its sixth year, he felt a rising irritation seeing someone so obviously using Evans for her talents. Not that he was the first. James glared daggers into his male housemate’s back. That Baird was taking advantage of her kindness as well only doubled the offense. He was about to comment on the situation to Sirius when he was interrupted by Professor Slughorn’s sudden arrival.

“Hello. Hello everyone. So sorry to keep you waiting,” the rotund old man called out, a broad, but tight-lipped smile covering his face. “Of course this year you will all be facing the challenge of N.E.W.T.-level potion-making. I must warn you, I will be holding you to a much higher standard than you’ve been accustomed to in years past, so there will be little time for dawdling about or unrelated side conversations…” he trailed off, fixing his eyes on James and Sirius.

“Wanker,” Sirius muttered.

“In any event, I trust all of you are in the right place and have thought very carefully about who you want to partner with this year. These are not your basic potions anymore,” Slughorn droned on. “Any questions?” Seeing no hands, the professor continued, “Good, good. Everyone ready to go then. Please open your books to page ten. We will begin by discussing a very intriguing concoction devised some centuries ago, the Draught of Living Death…”

The remainder of the period passed without incident for James. He and Sirius were easily able to covertly pass notes about new prospects for the quidditch team, while Slughorn gave a boring history of what they’d be brewing next week. After being dismissed for the day, they packed their things, preparing for the long walk to Defense Against the Dark Arts. As they left the almost deserted classroom, the two were locked in a fierce debate over the merits of tactical fouls, when Sirius suddenly sped up to slip through the door first, winking. Suddenly James felt himself collide with another person. Sirius sprinted down the hallway laughing.

“Can’t even watch where you’re going anymore can you, Potter?!” a female voice screeched.

James immediately looked down to see a very agitated Lily Evans buried in books, ink splattered on her cheek. Though she was clearly fuming, James thought she had rarely looked better. The redhead’s next words brought James back into the moment.

“You did that on purpose didn’t you?! You and Black!” she yelled.

“I…what? Of course not!” James stuttered.

The young woman’s eyes narrowed. “Right,” she spat, beginning to gather her belongings.

“Honest, Evans. It was a mistake,” James said defensively. “Here. I’ll help you up,” he added, extending his hand.

“What’s in it?”

“In what?”

“Your hand, you prat. There must be something in it. One of your little contraptions.”

James opened both palms and raised them in surrender. “Nothing,” he promised. “Just a little help.” He extended his hand again.

Lily regarded James with suspicious eyes. He could tell she was wondering…was this really _Potter_ – doing the right thing when he had made a mistake? She quickly studied his face for any sign of impending treachery. Mischief appeared conspicuously absent from his eyes, and he did his best to suppress even the beginnings of his trademark smirk, which Lily for some reason found far more irritating than charming. Ultimately, accepted his hand. James tugged her up and she seemed almost surprised by how easily he’d done it. She watched for a moment as he stooped low to pick up some of the more voluminous texts she had been carrying.

“I can get them myself you know,” she said quickly.

“I know,” her classmate replied tentatively as he handed Lily her books back. “But I figure it’s the least I can do, knocking you over. Seems you got the worst of it after all.”

“Well…okay then. We’d better get going. It’s a long way to Defense from here,” Lily remarked, dusting herself off as she made to leave.

“Err…Evans,” Potter began cautiously.

“What is it?” Lily asked tersely. “We’re already going to be late.”

“It’s…well it’s your face. You’ve got a bit of ink there on your right cheek.”

Lily’s eyes widened, apparently surprised by James’s honesty. It would’ve been all too easy for him to let her walk through the school and into a crowded classroom looking like an idiot, and in another time he absolutely would have. But not today he’d resolved. “Well…thanks,” she offered. “Where is it exactly?”

He reached upward and pointed to the area just below her cheekbone.

“Right,” Lily responded, pointing her wand where he had indicated. “ _Tergeo_ ,” she muttered, turning to face her classmate once more. “Better?” she asked.

“Perfect,” James replied.

With that, the two Gryffindors began their trip to Defense Against the Dark Arts together, both walking briskly to ensure both a timely arrival and a shorter duration for the uncomfortable silence that almost immediately fell between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First significant interaction between James and Lily in sixth year. I apologize that it has been a long time in coming, but I thought realistically it was important to deal with some of the inner turmoil regarding James realizing that he actually likes Lily and the dissolution of Lily’s friendship with Snape first.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	5. Flyouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wallenby! Eyeing her up while pretending to watch tryouts. Prongs, you fox."

As September eased into October, James was disappointed to report no change in his frosty relations with Lily. Despite what he considered repeated shows of good faith – not hexing Snivellus in the bathrooms, not hexing Snivellus in the halls, not setting off dungbombs in the corridors near first years’ classrooms – there were no signs of improvement. James had hoped the aftermath of Sirius’s little joke on the first day of classes would lead to at least a temporary thaw, but after weeks of patience and relatively good behavior it seemed that she still despised him.

Fortunately, his new role as Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team was finally going to afford him the opportunity to focus his attention elsewhere. The morning of October 4th was crisp and cool, with a thin fog hanging over the pitch as James and the rest of the current team stepped out to join this year’s batch of hopefuls.

“Oi! You lot!” James bellowed as he and Sirius dropped the container holding the various required balls onto the center of the pitch. “Now listen here. Since we’ve got some first years in this bunch, we’ll start with introductions. Name’s James Potter. Captain and chaser. This grimy git next to me,” he said, gesturing toward Sirius and his long locks of still-wet hair, “is Sirius Black. He’s a beater.”

Next, a slender witch with long brown hair tied-back in a ponytail stepped forward first. “I’m Maggie Brinkley, chaser.”

Maggie’s introduction was swiftly followed by a pair of Gryffindor fifth years, Colin Davies and Stan O’Shea, who played seeker and keeper respectively.

James once more stepped to the fore. “As you can see, we’ve got two starting spots open. One chaser, one beater. I’ll say it right now, our aim’s to win the Quidditch Cup this year. That sort of pressure scares you, then go on and sod off now. I don’t need to waste my time seeing any quaffle-fumblers or loose-gripped beaters today. Clear?” The outburst immediately led all but two first years to flee the pitch.

“Bad form!” yelled Sirius after them. “Where’s your Gryffindor courage?”

The rest of the group greeted the two friends’ remarks with nervous laughter.

After delivering instructions on how tryouts would proceed, James took a moment to see how many of his housemates had come down to show their support. It was normally only die-hard fans and significant others who turned up for tryouts, but James nevertheless took an interest. From his perch across from the Gryffindor stands, he could make out seven figures. After barking demands for improvement from a fourth-year chaser candidate who had been struck square in the chest with a bludger, he switched positions to take a closer look.

Sitting in the front row was, of course, Arnold Baker, the Gryffindor from the year behind them who now called some of the matches. A few rows behind him were Maggie’s dutiful boyfriend Anders and O’Shea’s flavor of the week. The surprises were to be found in the back row in the form of Lily’s best friends. Before he could spend much time wondering why the pair had turned up, he saw Sirius flying over and sounded his whistle to signal a water break.

“These first two groups have been positively dire, Prongs,” Sirius groused. “I certainly wouldn’t want any of them flying with me.”

“So I’ve noticed, Padfoot,” James laughed. “Did you really have to hit McKenzie in the _chest_ with the bludger?”

“Bloody right I did! Kid doesn’t even understand the basic concept of a formation. He almost took Maggie off her broom when he was supposed to be ten feet behind and to the right of her!”

James shook his head. “They have been a disappointment. It’s starting to make me nervous. We’ve only got six chasers left to try and four beaters and two of them are first years.”

“What are you doing over here anyway?” Sirius asked. “You might at least pretend to pay attention to them for longer than a few runs, even if they are terrible. You are supposed to be our fearless leader…”

“I’ve paid plenty of attention,” James defended. “Just trying to size up our spectators at the moment.”

“Usual suspects as far as I can – bloody hell – is that McKinnon and Hooper?”

“That it is.”

“What are they doing here?” Sirius asked.

“I was just wondering the same thing myself…unfortunately I’ve been a bit distracted…” James replied, directing a pointed look at his best friend.

Sirius however, remained oblivious to the fact that he was interrupting. “Ahh. Distracted? I see why…” he chuckled, elbowing James in the ribs. “Number seven over there in the corner. Wallenby! Eyeing her up while pretending to watch tryouts. Prongs, you fox.”

Truth be told, the presence of their classmate had escaped his attention, but given their exchange on the Hogwarts Express, James couldn’t dismiss it now. “Ahh, you’ve caught me then,” he fibbed.

Sirius clapped James on the back. “She’s here. Good sign. But there’s plenty of time to chase birds after we settle on the two that will help us win the Cup. Get your head in the game!”

Blowing the whistle again, James started to watch the third group begin drills, but early on, there didn’t appear to be much worth his attention. Accordingly, James cast his attention back to the stands, now unable to avoid noticing the petite frame of his brown-haired housemate, clad in a well-fitted coat and a flattering pair of jeans. Now that the light fog had burned off, James noticed the sun shining brightly on Katie’s lightly-freckled cheeks and glittering smile. Despite it only being tryouts, she was animated, clapping her hands and shouting loudly along with the action.

Suddenly, a member of the third group managed to capture his attention. A third year trying out for chaser, Craig Chamberlain, had executed an exceptional dive before braking hard, feinting right and beating O’Shea through his left hoop. Not bad. The lad would need a lot of work to get on he and Maggie’s level, but there was finally someone who had potential. As he continued watching, James was pleased to see that Craig seemed to find more and more consistency, becoming a regular scoring threat and even managing to set up a fluky goal scored by one of the first years who was completely out of his depth. Having seen enough, he called a halt to the third group’s proceedings.

Flying down from his vantage point he stepped off his broom and surveyed the final batch of hopefuls. Judging solely by physique they looked a largely disappointing bunch based on the positions they were after. While it wasn’t always the case – hell, look at the Hungarians in the last World Cup – heavy-set flyers weren’t usually a good match to the chaser position.

“Alright you lot,” he yelled, “You’ve seen the pathetic performances the ones who came before you tried to pass off as quidditch players and now it’s your chance to show us you’ve got what it takes.” As he paced in front of them, James made sure to treat each to a withering glare. “By the look of you, I’ll have to put the best you can manage against some of the rest we’ve told to wait in the locker room to see who wears down last.” He shrugged. “But I don’t judge before you take flight. Maybe one of you will manage to surprise me.”

James kicked off, bidding them to follow and assigned them some of the veterans to play with and grabbing the quaffle from Maggie tossed it skyward to commence the last scrimmage of the day. He shook his head at a grinning Sirius who made sure his first act since being sent back into the rotation was to pound a bludger at the frail fourth-year trying out for Reserve seeker, almost driving him off his broom. Terribly promising.

Gazing back toward the stands, his eyes tracked to Katie Wallenby, who was now sitting. She looked about as inspired by the current action as he was. James realized it was rather odd that he didn’t know her better outside of Hogwarts. The two Gryffindors both lived in the small town of Stroud where there was no sizeable magical community to speak of. James had heard his father speak about the Wallenbys before at the dinner table, usually mentioning that they ought to be invited over for dinner or a Ministry function. He’d always seemed to have a positive opinion of the family, but strangely his announcements never resulted in an actual visit to the Potter estate. James now considered this something of a disappointment.

As those whose tryouts had just finished stretched and grabbed last-minute drinks of water, James refocused on Marlene and Alana. Though they came to every match like most others in their house, they didn’t seem to be enjoying themselves, or honestly paying attention at this point. Perhaps they were just there for the fresh air. James could hardly blame them. Before this opportunity, he had been going mad trying to contain his natural energy.

Another crack of the bat drew him back into the scrimmage. Thankfully the sound wasn’t a red herring and the person of interest was actually a beater. It was a fifth year, Rafe Spurling. His bludgers appeared to pack quite a punch, judging solely by their velocity, and his aim was not bad, though it definitely needed work. Sirius would see to that. After letting things play out for awhile, James called a stop. Circling down to join his team and the students trying out once more, he quickly dismissed them, telling them he would make his decision by the end of the week.

Sirius was the only one to hang behind amongst the group. “So, going to talk to Wallenby?” he prodded. “I saw you up there again. If only she were blonde…”

James laughed again. “You and the bloody blondes! There are other features you know?”

“Ahh, but none so captivating,” Sirius retorted. “Well, maybe one, but that isn’t nearly as easy to judge as it should be – bloody tricksters. Anyway, are you going to talk to her? I bet you could still catch her. Hogsmeade is only a month away…”

“Not today, mate,” James said matter-of-factly.

“What do you mean, not today? You’re supposed to woo her, Prongs! Where are your horns?” Sirius replied, incredulous at James’s seemingly cavalier attitude toward the pursuit.

James immediately put on an air of confidence. “Who said I was going to take her the first weekend? That’s where you’ve got it wrong, Padfoot. Sometimes there’s a real value in making them wait.”

“I suppose…if you really want to wait yourself.”

“Well, I know you don’t, but you should try it sometime. It really can make all the difference for your Hogsmeade experience. Not to mention after…” James continued, winking at a befuddled Sirius. “C’mon,” he said, slapping his friend on the back. “Let’s head back. We’ve got pranks to plan – I’m thinking we could try a new approach this time.”

At the mention of pranks, Sirius was quickly mollified and hurriedly followed James up the trail from the quidditch pitch to the castle above them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is really about setting up some key tensions that will be addressed in different ways throughout the remainder of sixth year, so if you were starting to wonder what might come up and where the story is headed in the near to medium term there are plenty of clues here.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	6. Pranking with a Purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Like I said…they all sound good, it’s just…I don’t really want to smell all that for days, Sirius,”

“What are you _talking_ about, Prongs!” Sirius cried out in exasperation.

“I figure we could just mix things up a bit,” James offered. “Maybe give back a little to the population that has so graciously showered us with its affections for the past five years.”

“But the whole _reason_ they’ve done it is because we’ve been _hilarious_!” Sirius said in rebuke. “There’s nothing hilarious about sending flying notes to every student in school or replacing dungbombs with a contraption that cleans the halls” he sulked.

“Well, there would be a lot of bubbles involved in the second idea,” Remus mused. The young man closed the book he had been studying and sat upright in his chair. “In fact, I think James’s ideas have potential. Most importantly for you, Padfoot, they have the potential not to get us banned from the first trip to Hogsmeade.”

“Hogsmeade?” Sirius scoffed. “We can already go there whenever we want.”

“True, but I’m afraid the same can’t be said for our dates,” Remus deadpanned.

“You’ve got a date, have you Moony?”

“As the matter of fact, I do. I’m planning on escorting Britt Lawson.”

“There’s your problem right there. You and James. Thinking about escorting when you should be thinking about cavorting with your mates!”

“Hey!” James defended, “Who said anything about me _escorting_ anyone? And as an aside, Moony, maybe don’t let Britt hear you talking about a date that way. Terribly unappealing.”

“I’m still with James on this one,” Remus shrugged and returned to reading.

“Come on then Peter,” Sirius urged. “I know you never have to vote, but I need you on this one! Then we can settle this with a nice game of Wizard Chess – which we all know Prongs will lose.”

“Well…I…I mean both your ideas sound good,” Peter mumbled.

“But just imagine it! Imagine the look on those Slytherins’ faces when they’re all made to smell like a bed of roses! It will last for days!” Sirius said with a glint in his eye. “It will be brilliant. What’s brilliant about bubbles and happiness?” he grumbled, shooting daggers at James.

“What’s brilliant about having to endure that stench until they figure out how to undo it?” James retorted. “There’s multiple Slytherins in nearly all our classes! It’s practically like pranking ourselves!”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Shut it. Just let Peter vote and then _hopefully_ it will be decided.”

Both the other boys turned their eyes to the nervous, overweight boy who was the last piece of their group. “Like I said…they all sound good, it’s just…I don’t really want to smell all that for days, Sirius,” Peter responded.

“Yes!” James exclaimed, pumping his fists in exultation.

“Oh sod off Peter!” Sirius yelled. “You’re letting James sully our reputations all in the name of change. And to avoid the smell? There’s spells for that! You’ve got the skills! You’re not some half-wit who–”

“It’s done, Padfoot!” James interrupted. “Three to one and that’s it. So we do the notes after the quidditch match, send them out Tuesday and Wednesday and do the hallways on Friday. And pass the notes by me first,” he continued, glaring at Sirius who was sulking by the window, “I want to make sure we’re _all_ on the same page.”

“Any other demands?” Sirius bristled.

“Just one. I call dibs on Evans and Wallenby.”

“Fine. Then I get Blake and O’Donnell,” Sirius replied. “You know Prongs, this might not be a bad idea after all. You might have just set up the first phase of my fantasy ménage-a-trois…” he trailed off, seeming to drift off into a daydream.

“Ugh!” Peter called out.

“Seconded, Pete,” James said in disgust. “Keep that sort of thing locked firmly inside your twisted head!”

As the planning session broke up, James headed downstairs to the common room. He was simultaneously buoyed and disappointed by the victory. While he felt it was exactly the type of thing he needed to sate his inclination toward mischief without upsetting Evans, the discussion had not been as straightforward as he had hoped. He and Sirius had never been at loggerheads about pranks before on the fundamental level. Generally, the debate between them was always focused on how to carry it out, each of them always pushing the other to make the scheme grander. James knew he would be unable to count on Peter next time as well. His friend was bright enough, talented with a wand, but unfortunately lacking much of a spine – at least that anyone had seen so far. Frankly, he seemed more like a…well, a Slytherin…choosing whichever position seemed to be advantageous in the moment while the competition of ideas flowed primarily between he, Remus, and Sirius.

This was where the Marauders’ vast reputation would hurt him. James’s first instinct had been to do the same _type_ of thing they’d always done, but in a different fashion. Do it in a way that would give them plausible deniability. However, after more thought, he had quickly scuppered that approach. While they would avoid detention, given their record, anyone in the school would attribute the incident to them, including and especially Lily. “Merlin!” he growled in frustration.

“Problem, James?” Remus inquired, an amused smile crossing his features.

“Hangnail,” James replied quickly, feigning pain in one of his fingers.

His sandy-haired comrade laughed and shot James a skeptical look. “Is that the next thing you’re planning on selling Sirius?”

“Funny, Moony,” James muttered.

“What’s really eating at you?”

“It’s nothing. Just these upcoming meetings with the lot who tried out for the team,” James tried.

Remus shook his head. “Well, it’s not that either. I think you’d better get looked at. You seem to have lost your ability to effortlessly lie.”

“Just forget it,” James barked. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“Whatever you say, mate. Though after this,” he gestured around the room, “I don’t have to tell you I’m not the only one who’s picked up on you acting odd. Why you’re hiding the reason from us is beyond me at the moment, but it might not hurt to have your friends with you when more people start asking the same question,” Remus said pointedly. He cast a meaningful look at James before leaving through the portrait hole.

James glanced at the now empty space ruefully before sitting down on the couch in front of the fireplace. This was turning out to be much harder than he had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The Marauders are obviously going to be an important part of the story and they have, aside from Sirius been absent for a while (at least in terms of chapters). This chapter is designed to explore each of them a little further and also serve as build-up for future material.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	7. The James Potter Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And there's James Potter with Gryffindor's first goal of the season."

“I don’t understand why the two of you have to be such nags!” Lily protested. “It’s just a game!”

“Oh, Lily…” started Alana.

“It’s not _just_ a game. It’s the first game of the season!” Marlene finished brightly.

“I just don’t understand why everyone puts such stock in it. It’s hardly a sport. Just a lot of flying about on brooms,” Lily huffed.

Alana giggled. “Says the girl who’d have needed remedial lessons if First Year Flying had been graded.”

“Is that why we always have to drag you?” Marlene teased. “Jealous of the flying experts?”

“Fine! I’ll go!” Lily shouted, clearly out of patience with her two friends.

“Excellent!” Marlene interrupted, waiting until Alana finally acquiesced to high-fiving her. “Another match, another success! Come on then, get your scarf. Show a little team spirit!”

On the way to the pitch, her friends kept chattering back and forth about Gryffindor’s chances at winning the Quidditch Cup, their hopes of getting a good seat, and who the most attractive male players were. Lily thought she was going to be sick when she heard Alana drop James Potter’s name. The idea that Potter could attract anyone, let alone the handful of girls he’d already dated while at Hogwarts still astonished her. Sure, he was okay to look at – objectively, more than okay – but how anyone could cope with his constant misbehavior, arrogance, and condescension was beyond her. Fortunately, such conversation was short-lived before they returned to quidditch. As they neared the stands, Lily realized she was being rude. She had hardly said a word since they had left the castle.

“So who’s on the team this year anyway?” she asked.

“Oh, Lily, hi. You are still with us,” Alana teased.

“Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet. You know me–”

“Yes, yes, always thinking,” Lily’s two friends interrupted.

“Merlin,” grumbled Marlene, “As much as you read, you’d think you’d at least open Arnie’s little magazine.”

The so-called magazine she handed over to Lily looked like more of a thin stack of parchment than an actual publication. Uninventively titled “Hogwarts quidditch” she thumbed past the photographs of last season and both a 1975-76 retrospective and ‘76-’77 preview. After a handful of pages littered with enough numbers to remind her of Arithmancy, she tried to give it back.

“No!” Marlene protested, opening it to the middle and thrusting it back in her reluctant friend’s face. “There. Gryffindor! Now read up!”

Though Lily had heard plenty over the years about Potter’s quidditch talents, often straight from the so-called source, this rag’s fixation on him seemed to be over the top. Captain. Key Player. Best Professional Prospect. Could they inflate his head _any_ further? “This is ridiculous. Potter is _not_ the second coming of….whoever Milan Dusevic is. I’ve never seen how he’s even as good as he claims to be.”

“Well I suppose that depends on how good he claims to be,” Marlene replied, taking the rare opportunity to jump on her well-spoken friend’s imprecision. “Still, I think you just don’t like that he makes good on his boasts about it. You see his goals, his assists – everything. Legitimate sources think scouts are going to turn up next year to watch him play. Maybe this one even.”

“Last year he almost single-handedly won us the final game. Fifteen goals! And five assists! It really was a shame Davies didn’t catch the snitch. We’d have won the Cup,” Alana commented.

Looking down at the swarm of students ahead of them, Lily tried to change the subject. “So…any idea what you’re going to use your N.E.W.T.s for?”

Alana shrugged. “I’m probably set for the family business,” she said. “I mean…they’ll help obviously and I want to do well, but as strong as things are for Mum and Dad we know it won’t stay that way if we don’t start learning as soon as we can.”

“We should all be so lucky,” Marlene snarked.

“Yeah…career decided for me basically,” Alana shot back, “ _real_ lucky. Besides,” she added after a brief silence, “it’s not like you’d take it anyway – you’ve already told me the extreme route you’re after.”

Lily looked back and forth between them. “Hmm?”

Alana frowned. “It was on vacation this summer, sorry, Lily. Marlene wants to be a patrol wizard.”

“Not chasing Potions I didn’t think you wanted DMLE.”

Marlene shook her off. “I don’t need any of the glitzy jobs. I want to help people out there, you know, get in on the day-to-day action where you can really make a difference.”

“You do know you’d have to charge them with crimes, right?” Alana asked.

“Of course I know that! But not every time. There’s room for discretion. Not to mention helping put a stop to this mess going on out there.” Turning her head toward Lily, Marlene smirked. “We all know what this one’s after though. More school I’ll bet.”

“Maybe,” Lily answered. “I think I could handle it and I’d learn things anybody else in whatever field I choose will hardly know.”

Alas, the trio’s conversation was cut short when they had to start squeezing themselves up the staircase leading to the Gryffindor stands conversation became all but impossible. It really is unbelievable how raucous my housemates can get, Lily thought. Eventually, the three friends made their way up to the viewing platform, finally emerging once more into the crisp morning light.

“Hmm, where to sit?” Marlene wondered aloud as she stared down at the smattering of her fellow students standing in front of them.

“First few rows look fairly well-packed,” Alana said sadly. “If we hadn’t had to waste such time on _Lily_ here, we might’ve got right up front.” She fixed her friend with a stare.

“No one _forced_ either of you,” Lily replied coolly.

Suddenly Marlene spotted part of a freckled face with the Gryffindor lion on one cheek and a hand waving directly toward them from out of the front row. “Oh! We’ve got places after all!” she shouted.

The three girls slowly worked their way up to where the hand was still sticking through the crowd. “Clear a path, please,” said a female voice that Lily didn’t immediately recognize amid all the noise. The wall of Gryffindor boys in front of them still appeared unflinching. “I said, clear a path!” the voice now shouted. “I’m trying to bring in some _girls_ to spice up your viewing today you ungrateful lot!” Immediately, the wall shifted as the boys turned sideways to see which of their housemates would be joining them.

Once they had made their way down, Marlene embraced the girl who had saved their seats. “Katie! You saved places? How did you manage it?”

“It was no trouble really. You’ve just got to convince them to stop taking up excess space,” she smiled. Katie, who was clad from head to toe in Gryffindor colors and also sporting a #5 painted on her other cheek, likewise hugged Alana before noticing Lily’s presence. “I think some of them are still afraid to be squeezed into touching each other, so just…don’t be afraid to push,” she added, eyeing the small space to her right.

“If it’s a problem I can just go,” Lily started, “quidditch isn’t really–”

“Don’t leave,” Katie interrupted, “we can always cram in one more. Oi! Brandon! Move on down there!” she barked at a boy a few paces away.

“Come on, Katie,” he groaned, “we’re packed in like sardines as it is!”

“You come on,” she retorted brusquely. “You’re making room for a lady. You’ve got plenty of space.” The freckled girl turned to Lily with a mischievous grin. “The boys in the front,” she said, shaking her head, “great cheering, _terrible_ whinging.”

Not wanting to appear ungrateful, Lily pulled the other girl into a hug. “Thanks, Katie. You know I’m a perennial quidditch hostage to these two so it’s nice every now and again to actually see all of the action everyone gets so excited about.” Lily was decidedly _unexcited_ , irrespective of how much of the match she’d be able to see.

As Lily took her place in the stands, Gryffindor’s #5 was leading his team onto the pitch to take their positions. The scarlet and gold of his robes gleamed in the sunlight as he took his position in the center circle near Madame Hooch. The resident flying instructor and sometime referee turned to the chaser and his opposite number in turn. “Potter. McCloskey. I want a clean game today,” she warned. Taking both their nods as an acceptance, she blew the whistle and the match was underway.

James easily won the quaffle and streaked toward goal, with the other two chasers, Maggie Brinkley and Craig Chamberlain taking wide positions just behind him. Deftly avoiding the two bludgers sent in his direction by the opposing beaters with a quick dive and twist to his left, he passed to Maggie before surging forward to await her return. As expected, the quaffle immediately came back to him as he closed on goal, and with less than a minute gone, he opened the scoring with a strong throw that flew directly through the Ravenclaw keeper’s right hoop. The Gryffindors in the stands roared in appreciation.

“And there’s James Potter with Gryffindor’s first goal of the season. He’s wasted no time and Gryffindor lead 10-0,” shouted Arnold, who’d retained the coveted position as commentator for the season’s first match, as the bell signifying the goal rang out.

Ravenclaw quickly regrouped and with much less effort than the Gryffindors on the pitch or in the stands might have liked, evened the score at ten apiece, through their own captain and chaser, Evan McCloskey. As the game wore on, it became abundantly clear to all in attendance that the match would be a close one. With both teams fielding inexperienced beaters, the bludgers flew about the pitch erratically, occasionally endangering players from the very team that had last struck them. Without much obstacle, quick attacking was the order of the day and the goals flowed freely.

“It’s another quick break from Gryffindor – too much of that allowed by both sides today,” noted Arnold, “and as we near the hour mark it’s Potter to Chamberlain, back to Potter, right to Brinkley who goes over the top to Chamberlain with the quaffle. Chamberlain ducks outside to avoid a bludger, throws backward to Potter who feints right, finds Brinkley with a soft pass and it’s another goal for Gryffindor, this time through the center hoop. 140-110 in favor of the scarlet and gold.”

For the first half-hour or so, Lily had been contentedly taking in the match alongside her friends and housemates, but as it drew on, she found herself becoming frustrated. There was nothing new. Potter led all the attacks and ended up with a goal or assist. Ravenclaw would immediately find a way to score themselves, but for the rare occasions when Black or Potter would find a way to neutralize their efforts. She turned to Marlene on her left. “Is this going to wrap up anytime soon?” she yelled, trying to be heard above the crowd.

Marlene shrugged. “Well, no sign of the snitch yet,” she remarked, scanning the sky. “These things have gone on for days before, you know…”

Suddenly Lily found herself on the end of a fiery stare from Katie Wallenby. “There’s no way you’re leaving this match!” she barked fiercely. “Nobody leaves the front row!”

Lily immediately heard muttering from her surrounding housemates, especially those behind her. She flushed with embarrassment.

“Staying put then?” Katie asked.

Without replying, Lily turned her eyes back to the game just in time to see Ravenclaw score once again.

As the quaffle was retrieved, James found himself fuming. Spurling had been absolutely pathetic alongside Sirius. The score was now 270-260, Ravenclaw getting back-to-back goals after the idiot had nearly knocked out Maggie with a mishit bludger. As he streaked forward, his messy black hair blowing in the wind, he yelled in frustration. Chamberlain had coughed the quaffle up immediately allowing Ravenclaw to tie the game.

“And Ravenclaw have the momentum now,” Arnold Baker called out. “270-270 with three goals in a row. This Gryffindor team needs to sort itself out because despite their efforts, I don’t think Potter, Black, and Brinkley can win this match on their own.”

This time, Maggie initiated Gryffindor’s attack, taking the quaffle forward along a wavering path in an effort to avoid contact with the opposing team as long as possible.

“Brinkley takes the quaffle up the right side now, where she is shouldered hard by McCloskey. Just managed to stay inside the pitch there…now she flips it back to Potter who left the center to give her support. Potter loses McCloskey with a sharp dive forward, left and now he’s got options with Chamberlain and Brinkley on each wing. Potter going it alone down the center. He dodges a well-hit bludger from Sanders and closes on the keeper. He’s found Chamberlain out wide and it’s a quick shot through the left-hand hoop to restore a slim advantage to Gryffindor…Ooh!”

Baker’s commentary was interrupted by his and the crowd’s collective gasp as James was smashed in the side by a bludger from Bryan Marks, Ravenclaw’s third-year beater. James felt searing pain in his flank, barely managing to stay on his broom as he grabbed his ribcage. Shaking his head clear, he coughed, only bringing more pain, and wetness to his lips that had not been there before. Blood.

“The Gryffindor stand is howling at Madame Hooch for some sort of penalty associated with that blow on their defenseless captain, who really looks to be suffering at the moment, but she waves away the protests and Ravenclaw begin their attack in earnest with Potter looking well off the pace,” Baker resumed.

James knew that things could take a bad turn for the team with his injury after Ravenclaw scored easily, McCloskey leaving him a few yards behind before scoring. It seemed every movement brought pain, including breathing, and the farther he leaned forward to gain speed, the more intense the stabbing sensation became. As O’Shea sent the quaffle out to Maggie, he willed himself forward toward his top speed, gritting his teeth and hoping desperately for the snitch to appear.

“Brinkley has the quaffle again down the right side and with Chamberlain well-covered across field, the injured Potter really looks the only option. And yes, she tosses it sideways to Potter in the center of the pitch. A dangerous moment with Potter looking to receive the pass and a bludger from the opposite direction…ooh…Potter takes one hard to the chest, McCloskey roughly shoulders that injured area and Ravenclaw surely…” Baker urged.

James now found himself in a world of hurt, with Ravenclaw clearly shifting their defensive strategy to take him out of the game. Somehow despite the bludger and the body-check, he managed to keep possession long enough to shovel the quaffle forward to Craig, who worked several intricate one-twos with Maggie before scoring with a shot that banked through the right-hand hoop.

“A display of strength from James Potter of Gryffindor. He holds off a bludger and a body to maintain possession and Gryffindor end up with a goal!” Baker exclaimed.

It quickly became evident that Ravenclaw were going to work their next move through McCloskey down the middle, a risky move, but one they were clearly daring James to be able to stop.

“McCloskey takes the quaffle on the restart and it’s a rare central attack from Ravenclaw. Potter will be hard-pressed in his condition to reverse in time and with the bludgers on Ravenclaw’s side of the pitch this may be a brilliant maneuver,” the commentator went on.

Instead of trying to immediately challenge McCloskey, James decided to peel left and take him later on in the play. As he turned around, he fixed his eyes on Sirius, silently sharing his need for back-up on this scheme, which was acknowledged with a subtle nod. As McCloskey crossed midfield, James pressed himself again to top speed, finding himself just a yard behind the Ravenclaw chaser and well wide in his field of vision. To his delight, he noticed a bludger coming toward Sirius and adjusted course to get beneath McCloskey’s current position and take a direct angle to him. As it came toward him, Sirius thumped the bludger directly at McCloskey’s head, causing the Ravenclaw to dive sharply. James smirked as he rammed his left shoulder into his opponent, jarring the quaffle loose and allowing him to mop up a steal.

“Amazing understanding there between Potter and Black to prevent Ravenclaw from completing their bold attack!” Baker raved. “Potter has the quaffle now and sweeps around seamlessly to the right where he and Brinkley are able to cross up Smythe with a series of intricate one-twos. Potter swerves high and left to take on the keeper and…well, he may have gotten a bit too close to take the shot on at this speed…but wait, a sharp brake takes his broom almost vertical and he softly tosses it over the keeper’s head through the center hoop to give Gryffindor a two-goal lead, 290-270. What a fade! An extraordinary goal from an extraordinary player. This has been a truly gifted performance by the Gryffindor captain today, especially given the injuries he must be dealing with.”

As the Ravenclaws cursed, the Gryffindor’s cheered, none louder than Katie Wallenby, who Lily could make out to her left whooping and high-fiving her male housemates while yelling, “James _Bloody_ Potter! Brilliant!”

Having forced herself to focus in on the game after Katie’s reprimand, Lily had to admit that maybe her friends had been right. Potter really did seem to be playing on an entirely different level from the other players in the match. Especially after the injury he had taken. She was surprised to find herself almost _admiring_ the grit with which he kept on fighting for his team despite his own obvious pain.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a most welcome pronouncement from Arnold Baker. “Now this is where the real battle begins! After just over an hour and a half, Gryffindor now leads 340-310, but we have the snitch in sight! Davies and Carroll are swooping in and out of the stands chasing the elusive golden ball at the moment and Gryffindor will be excited that Davies is by far the closer player to it. The two dive down sharply as Ravenclaw make it 340-320 through Smythe. Davies closing on the snitch and the surface. He jerks up sharply. Davies, with an outstretched hand. Wait, he’s jostled by Carroll. But no, this is the moment! Madame Hooch gives the whistle! Davies raises his fist! Gryffindor wins a thriller 490-320 as Potter headlines with a staggering twenty-two goals and ten assists in this marathon. In the end, Davies showed the composure to close it out for his team, catching the snitch just as it tried to jerk away again mere meters off the ground!”

As was typical, many students, especially the younger ones began filing out of the stands quickly as players began gliding toward the changing rooms. James however, hung alone in the center of the pitch for a moment, before turning toward his descending team and waving them back into the air. It had been an exhausting contest, but he wouldn’t have them forgetting the people that had willed them to victory – or the ritual he’d implemented to celebrate them.

Pointing to the expectant ones that remained in the stands, James urged them all back towards him. “Come on then! They’ve been brilliant today,” he said plainly, gesturing toward the remaining Gryffindor faithful.

“Hold up!” Katie barked out at the bewildered first-years and more casual student supporters trundling down the stairs toward the ground. The bright-eyed, brown-haired Gryffindor smiled widely as James came close to the first row where she now stood. He was nearly close enough to reach out and touch her from his broom. “Ready then, James?” she asked.

“To show you how swollen our hearts are with gratitude before we send you off?” James asked, returning the smile. “You know we never miss an opportunity for that.”

By this time, the remaining students had all turned around to face the team. As they watched, James quickly retreated to the side, raising his hands toward his teammates, highlighting the new members in a gesture of introduction. Together they lifted their hands above their head, waiting for the signal. Sirius looked down the line until his gaze met James’s in the middle. After exchanging nods, James, began to clap for the fans who had stayed for the entire match. Quickly, the rest of the team followed and starting the clap soft before banging their hands together harder to make it louder.

“They’re applauding us?” Lily asked, confused at the display.

“ _This_ is why you don’t sneak out!” Katie said enthusiastically. “James started it. It’s reciprocation, you know?”

“Yeah…” Lily began, “I don’t know where Potter’s come up with it, but it’s very common at football matches –”

“Football?” a second-year boy interrupted.

“It’s a Muggle sport,” Lily said, brushing off the interruption. “The players applaud the fans after the game as a way of thanking them for their support.”

“Well, whether it’s from football or not, James brought it here and we’re the only ones to do it. I think it’s brilliant!” said Katie. “Now, come on!” She began clapping louder and louder to match the intensity of the team as the applause rose to a distinct thumping sound that reverberated across the pitch.

As the team peeled off for a victory lap, the Gryffindor stands truly erupted, swallowing Lily in a mixture of laughter and thunderous applause. Only two continued to watch as the players flew down. One was Katie Wallenby, her soft blue eyes happily fixed on the retreating form of James Potter and her broadest smile yet brightening her painted, lightly freckled face. The other was Lily Evans, staring after the same young man, who was clutching his injured side. For the first time, she saw something new. And though she was loathe to admit it, for the first time, it was actually something she liked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is obviously by far the longest at about a quarter of the total story length so far. Simply put, there was a massive amount I needed to cover here, including doing some form of justice to a quidditch match. I’m not sure at this point what the average chapter length will work out to be, but it is safe to say that the story will get more complex from here and this length might be closer to the norm than earlier, much shorter chapters.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	8. Have Wet Met?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He and Katie seem to be enjoying themselves rather...loudly."

At dinner that night, the Gryffindor table had been abuzz with news of party being thrown in the common room, hosted by none other than their house’s most notorious quartet, the Marauders. The rumor had started when a Paige Daniels, a star-struck third-year had eavesdropped on what was supposed to be a private conversation for the group about the Quidditch Cup, a particularly late night, and Firewhiskey. Somehow the young girl had managed, entirely on her own, to assemble their disparate comments into a quiet advertisement for their entire house. As things often did where the Marauders were concerned, rumor quickly evolved into fact so that by the time the news reached a baffled Peter Pettigrew, the boys were firmly on the hook.

With it already being six o’clock, they had immediately sprung into action, fixing a start time of nearly three hours later to give them time to make what preparations they could. Sirius would contribute his stash of drink and assemble a bar of sorts for the older students while Peter and Remus made an illicit run to Hogsmeade for butterbeer and other liquid refreshments. Meanwhile, James would be responsible for convincing their friends in the kitchens to whip up some food and working out makeshift decorations.

“Bloody–” James barked as he tripped over his rolled-up Gryffindor banner. His stumble had taken his still-injured side into one of the recently heightened tables and he grimaced in pain.

“Trouble, James?” Katie Wallenby inquired as she came down the staircase from the girls’ dormitories.

“A bit,” he winced. “Don’t know why I took this part…rubbish at it anyway.”

The blue-eyed sixth-year looked around at the banner, paper, and other party supplies scattered about the common room in amusement. “You know, it might help if you kept all this in one area,” she taunted. “That tends to keep you from tripping over the work you’ve got left to do.”

“Yes, well…” James trailed off before performing a sticking charm to the back of a hastily-painted banner. “I’m afraid it’s a bit of a rush job, this.”

“Hmm,” Katie mused, “I would’ve expected more meticulous preparation for the kind of bash everyone’s been talking about. Especially from the vaunted Marauders…”

James looked up to find a flattering smirk plastered on his housemate’s face. “Hmph,” he grumbled.

“Don’t be a bad sport now,” Katie responded in mock warning. “You could always ask for help…I think I know someone who might be willing. Seeing as you’re injured and all…”

“ _Wingardium Leviosa_ ,” James said, swishing and flicking his wand and carefully directing the banner he had been working on to the space over the portrait hole. Satisfied with its placement, he turned to face Katie fully. “You call this an injury?” he answered, gesturing to his side. “It’s not even worth a trip to the hospital wing,” he boasted.

“Should I take that as a no then?” Katie inquired. “People will be turning up in a little under an hour and from the looks of this…” she added, waving at the several piles of decorations still to be dealt with, “you need all the help you can get.”

Looking over at only the largest pile, James quickly took stock. Confetti and streamers to be charmed to hang in the air. Two more self-made banners. Tables to be raised. He started to bend over before wincing and straightening himself up again. “Bugger,” he muttered.

Katie placed her hands on her hips and regarded the messy-haired quidditch star with a raised eyebrow. “Well?” she offered again.

Asking for help was certainly not the Marauder way. Still, James thought, it was even less appropriate for a Marauder-sponsored event to come off looking poor. “Fine,” he relented.

“Pssh,” Katie scoffed. “That’s a poor show of gratitude. Maybe I ought to–”

“No!” James yelped. “I, uh…I suppose…if I’m honest…I do sort of need your help. Thanks. It’d be brilliant,” he uneasily replied.

“You lot really despise needing help, don’t you?” she laughed. “Best we not waste any time then. I’ll handle the pile you’re standing over. You sort out the furniture and that monstrously-large banner you’ve got left.”

Katie and James spent almost the full remainder of the time working silently, each fully focused on the task before them. Still, James had moments where he could watch her at work. He found himself impressed with her magic on more than one occasion, which only served to complement the nice glimpses he had been able to steal, from her legs as she bent over to the firelight in her lively blue eyes. Finally, with about fifteen minutes left, they bumped into each other in the center of the room, admiring the last touches they had each just put on the party space.

“Sorry,” Katie said, casting her eyes downward as a light blush crept across her freckled cheeks.

“Course not,” James quickly answered. “It was my fault really. I do love that banner…”

“It looks good,” the young woman said simply after a brief silence.

“Thanks to you,” James replied. “That magic you did with the streamers at different levels, and turning the confetti into little quaffles and snitches – impressive.”

“Thanks!” Katie said happily. “I learned it from my mum when she helped decorate my Uncle Shep’s third wedding last summer. Just a bit of large-scale simultaneous transfiguration.”

“You say ‘just a bit’ like– ”

The continuation of his compliment was interrupted by the sudden arrival of Remus and Peter through the portrait hole. Oblivious to the conversation, Peter yelled out loudly for James to help with the load they were carrying. Looking back to Katie for just a moment, he noticed that she had begun to turn back toward the stairs. As she started up toward the girls’ dormitories, she caught James’s eye and winked. “Bye, James,” she mouthed before her face was replaced by her retreating head of chestnut brown hair.

Over an hour into the party, nearly the full complement of Gryffindors were still stuffing the common room to the brim. Occasionally older students would slip off upstairs to enjoy some of the harder refreshments Sirius was supplying, but most stood chatting with friends or reliving the highlights of the match with members of their victorious quidditch team. Lily had spent most of the night segregating herself from the packed areas, talking with her friends and trying to avoid being sucked into conversations with the quidditch-obsessed. Unfortunately for her, Marlene and Alana did not share a similar objective, and so it was that she found herself briefly alone as they embarked on a quest to congratulate the players.

As she saw them approach the small group of younger students congratulating Gryffindor’s rookie chaser, Craig Chamberlain, she scanned the room for friendly faces. With as many people as there were, it was almost impossible to see, especially with James Potter holding court directly in the center of the room. As a prefect, Lily had looked past the fact that many first and second years were nursing butterbeers. It was a party after all and she was reluctant to be the proverbial wet blanket despite her position. Still, there were rumors of harder substances in use, and it irritated her to no end to see Potter brazenly taking swigs from a flask.

Potter could truly be infuriating. Regardless of her own views on him however, she knew that he was almost universally loved within Gryffindor and widely admired throughout the school. Somehow, despite his disciplinary record, he even seemed to have strongly positive relationships with most of the professors, including their rule-minded Head of House. One would think as a sixth-year, he would have the decency to set a better example.

Making her way carefully through the crowd, she approached him from behind mid-swig. “What are you _doing_ Potter?!” she hissed.

James bristled at the loud whisper that suddenly flooded his right ear. Nevertheless, he lowered his flask and turned his head to see who had delivered it. Given the substance, he should not have been surprised that it was none other than Lily Evans. With her face still close to his, James was able to make out every contour of her smooth skin and every different hue of green in her clearly angry eyes. Pulling back in preparation of delivering his retort, he could not resist following her jawline down to her neck and the silver chain the graced it. Without her uniform, James was confident that if he followed that chain, he would be able to see more of his housemate than he ever had before, but alas, he was not to be so fortunate.

“I asked you a question,” Lily said sternly, drawing James’s attention immediately back to her face. His opportunity had passed. This time, he noticed, her statement was loud enough to draw the attention of the crowd gathered around him.

“Right…” James began. “I’m not doing much really, just relaxing with dozens of my favorite people, trying to enjoy the afterglow of a hard-fought victory on the quidditch pitch,” he finished smugly.

Lily heard amused laughter all around her, which only raised her hackles further. Potter and his snide little comebacks, constantly pretending nothing was wrong. He’d always been able to play to a crowd in a way she couldn’t. Still, she realized she was running the risk of souring the positive, social side of the occasion with a public fight. It was better to be diplomatic. Private, if that were still possible.

“Can I have a word?” she asked, faking a smile.

“Sure,” he answered simply, easing himself up from his relaxed position on the couch to stand next to Lily.

As Potter stood, Lily quickly scanned the room for the best venue for her conversation. There was a secluded corner by one of the fireplaces. At parties it was generally frequented by couples who were after a brief snogging session and thus was left alone. Given Potter’s alleged history, Lily didn’t think it ideal, but with the place bursting at the seams, she also felt she had little choice. “Follow me,” she said coolly.

James elected not to respond. He was not quite sure what had gotten his new favorite witch so worked up, but given her poorly-hidden anger, he decided not to get glib with her again. It was a much harder urge to suppress once he realized where they were headed, but after reminding himself that he _was_ trying to win her over rather than drive her further away, he silently leaned himself against the wall to await the onslaught.

The moment she had him cornered, Lily unloaded in a series of loud whispers. “You are absolutely unbelievable, Potter! First, you and your friends get all these drinks and food into the common room from Merlin knows where. Then you sit blissfully by as first and second years in our own house are drinking. And to top it all off, you’ve got a little bar running in your room as you drink straight out of a flask in front of everyone!”

“Well, Evans…” he started, “it _is_ a party. Food and drink are fairly important to make sure everyone has a good time and I can personally assure you that all of it was obtained perfectly legally. As far as the bar upstairs, Sirius has a handle on things. You’ve not seen anyone drunk or belligerent have you?”

Reflecting on the evening, Lily was forced to acknowledge that despite the quantities on offer, no one had appeared to get out of hand. “And our youngest housemates?” she bit back. “Fine example they’re getting from their flask-toting bearer of booze, isn’t it?”

“Charms work, Evans,” he answered with a smile. “It’s something Remus worked up. Brilliant really. There’s an age line around the butterbeer, and the first and second years can only enter once. Personally I was impressed he could do that bit.”

“An age line?” Lily asked.

“Ask Remus if you don’t believe me,” James replied. “You and he _are_ friends after all.”

“Fine. And I intend to,” she huffed. “It still doesn’t excuse your flask.”

James ran his hand through his hair before looking off into the fireplace for a moment. “It really bothers you? The flask thing?”

Lily had been ready for a snarky comeback. This was rather unexpected. “Yes,” she said simply. “Yes it does.”

“Why?”

“Because for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, people in this house look up to you. Especially the younger ones. You may have kept them from finding out about the bar upstairs, but they know what witches and wizards drink out of a flask. It’s a bad example. Not that such a thing would trouble you…”

“It would actually,” James rebuked her.

“Really?” Lily asked, feeling her temper rising again. “The constant rule-breaking. Hexing other students. The over-the-top showmanship. It all smacks of someone with great concern about setting a good example,” she spat.

James looked down for a shred of a moment. He was surprised how much it stung to learn that none of his efforts seemed to have made the slightest impression on the object of his affection. But he raised his eyes, deciding to confront her. “Seen a lot of that this year have you?”

Again, Lily found herself surprised by his words. “Aside from tonight? Well…I suppose not,” she admitted. Potter was puzzling her now. Normally he proudly owned the reputation that he had worked so hard to cultivate over the years.

“Look…” James said as he looked away toward the fireplace. “If the flask bothers you that much…I’ll stop.” He held the flask up for her to see, opened it, and poured it onto the floor before vanishing the spill.

At this display, Lily was truly taken aback. “Why…why did you do that? I never said–”

“Because I get your point,” James interrupted. “I can be better.” James pocketed the flask and went back to where he had been sitting, quickly re-entering the crowd and commanding their attention just as before.

For the first time in a long time, Lily didn’t know what to say.

Roughly two hours later, the party was over. Only four Gryffindors remained in the common room. Having finished taking down the decorations together, James and Katie laughed over butterbeers as they took turns transfiguring the confetti using Katie’s spell. Their laughter reached a peak when Katie transfigured James’s bottle into a miniature elephant which squirted its contents into the stunned boy’s face, soaking his raven-colored hair.

A short distance away, Remus waved his wand removing the age line before carting the last crate of butterbeer up toward the boys’ dormitories. When he returned, he found Lily looking out a window of the tower, seemingly staring off into the night sky.

“Knut for your thoughts,” offered Remus as dropped himself in a chair across from her.

“Oh! Remus, you startled me,” Lily said softly as she turned to face her friend. “No thoughts really. It’s just been a…different night.”

“I hope you enjoyed the party…” he began “…though I did hear you and James may have gotten into it again?”

Lily thought it strange to find herself smiling. “I had fun. You and your friends managed to put us prefects into a difficult spot though…”

“And James?”

“He tends to be one of those tough spots,” she said, throwing Remus a knowing glance.

Remus chuckled. “That he does,” the young man acknowledged.

Lily stared back out the window for a moment. “Do you think he can hear us?”

“Who? James?”

“Yes.”

“I doubt it. He and Katie seem to be enjoying themselves rather...loudly,” Remus remarked as another peal of laughter rang out from across the room. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know,” Lily said truthfully. “I just…does he seem…different to you this year?”

“He does,” Remus nodded. “Though in all the most important ways, I think he’s exactly the same.”

“What do you mean?” Lily asked, leaning forward.

Remus laughed again. “Come on, Lily, surely you’ve noticed. Not a single prank so far. Not a single hex – unless of course you count those he’s used on me, Sirius, or Peter. But he’s still running rampant on the quidditch pitch, inspiring laughter…being a fierce friend.”

“Why _are_ you two friends anyway?” the redhead inquired.

“That’s a story that is far too long for tonight, I’m afraid,” the sometime-werewolf replied. “But the short version is that I came to trust and respect him very early in my time here at Hogwarts. And he’s always shown the same to me.”

“I know Remus, but knowing you it’s hard for me to understand that,” she said, exasperated.

“Lily, I’ve always considered it a shame that you’ve not gotten to know James–”

“Oh, I’ve gotten to know him _plenty_ , Remus. Too well, maybe. Especially last year.”

“Well…” her weary-looking housemate began, “It doesn’t happen to you often, Lily, but the fact is you’re just wrong about that.” He stared at Lily’s face until she met his eyes. “Honestly though, I never thought we’d be discussing this,” he continued. “What happened tonight?”

Lily sighed. That was the question she had been asking herself on and off since their exchange in the corner had ended. Lily had always considered herself the girl with all the answers, but something about this seemed more difficult.

“Lily?” Remus prompted.

“I don’t know. He just…listened to me. It sounds silly I’m sure–”

“No…if I stop to think about it, it really doesn’t,” Remus said, the look of recognition in his eyes lost on Lily.

After a few minutes of silence, the conversation turned to a more comfortable subject as Katie and James went on talking and laughing in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: While I’m really writing to finally get this lengthy story out of my head, I am always excited to see that there are some eyes out there reading my writing and following along with me as the story grows. Story wise, I think you’ve now directly met and had a chance to form some ideas about just about everyone who will be critical throughout. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	9. Charms Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm getting to know her and something feels good about it."

The following Friday afternoon Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry was once again abuzz because of the Marauders. On Tuesday and Wednesday the hallways were frequently clogged with small notes desperately seeking the students to which they were directed. All had been cleverly charmed to take the shape of different creatures – some arrived at their target as a galloping centaur, others flew in proudly in the form of a hippogriff, while still more leapt their way about like a more sophisticated chocolate frog. Due to their varying methods of transportation, they vexed professors by crawling under classroom doors to interrupt lessons and, in the case of the frogs, caught some recipients quite off guard when they sprang down a sweater or up a robe.

Still, these minor disruptions were nothing compared to the chaos that ensued when multiple dungbomb-like contraptions filled the hallways outside the Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts classrooms with a frothing mass of bubbles. It was for this reason that the proud planters of said devices found themselves about to enter the office of their Head of House, Minerva McGonagall once again.

“Potter. Black. Take your seats,” the aging Transfiguration professor said curtly as she stopped pacing behind her desk.

Silently, the two boys took their places in the dark wooden chairs in which they had been lectured so many times before.

“Before this latest series of incidents, I had quite foolishly begun to believe that perhaps the two of you were growing up,” she stated, fixing them with a steely gaze and one of her trademark expressions of displeasure. “I think you made it, let me see…one month and twenty-nine days this year. Quite cleverly I see you’ve timed this list of transgressions to come just _after_ Monday’s Halloween feast…”

Sirius was the first to speak. “Well, Professor, you see it was really in the school’s best interest, waiting until after the feast to clean–”

“Cleaning?! Is that what you call trapping entire classrooms full of students behind walls of bubbles, Mr. Black?” she interrupted.

“Professor, if I may, I think what Sirius was getting at is that Halloween tends to be a messy time…” James spoke up. “All the melting chocolate, the crumb-dropping treats…especially in the dungeons where the Slytherins are concerned…and we thought that after centuries of abuse, perhaps the stones–”

“Quiet, Mr. Potter!” the furious woman barked. “This is to say nothing of the constant interruptions to my lessons on Tuesday and Wednesday. You do realize that I will be forced to give the both of you a significant number of detentions. The confusion, immense delays, not to mention the use of unsanctioned, improvisational charm work…”

“Speaking of the charms, Professor…what did you think of them?” Sirius asked hesitantly.

“Quiet, Mr. Black!” she yelled again.

“No house points for ingenuity then…” James muttered to Sirius, who struggled to suppress laughter.

“Ahh, yes. Thank you for bringing that to my attention as well, Potter! As I’m sure you are aware, before these incidents, Gryffindor was in the lead for the House Cup by some forty points. In light of recent events however,” she glared, “I will be forced to deduct thirty points from Gryffindor for each of you.”

“You’re giving the lead back to Slytherin!” Sirius protested.

“No, Mr. Black, I’m afraid that responsibility lies with you and Mr. Potter,” she frowned. “Since you both seem to be so interested in tidying up the school, I have arranged fitting punishments. Potter, you will spend the next two weeks assisting Professor Slughorn with the cauldrons during your free period. As for you, Mr. Black, I think you’ll find that there are quite a large number of tasks that have been laid on the shoulders of our caretaker, Mr. Filch. I am confident he would love your assistance in resolving them during the same stretch. You’ll begin on Monday.”

Their sentences delivered, both boys rose from their seats and made to exit the office.

“Ahem. Black. Potter,” McGonagall started. “I will be checking on your progress throughout this period and I can assure you that if it is in any way inadequate,” she warned, “ _or_ if there are any further toes put out of line…I will be revoking your traveling privileges for the first Hogsmeade weekend.”

“I think you’ll find the cauldrons sparkling soon,” James quickly volunteered, trying his best to appear contrite.

“And I’ll make sure Filch spends the next two weeks whistling,” Sirius added.

“See that you do,” she finished.

As the boys departed and the door to her office closed again, Minerva McGonagall finally allowed the hint of a smile to cross her face briefly. There was no question the two rebellious wizards created trouble aplenty in the castle, but despite her reputation as a strict enforcer of the rules, she could not help appreciating their pluck and innovative spirit. And she thought, as she regarded the notes they had sent her via parchment carefully folded into a rudimentary cat, their charms work.

Lily looked up from her Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook at the arrival of her friends. As they shrugged off their cloaks and continued their conversation, she snuck the unfolded bit of parchment that had been lying beside her underneath the large book.

“How’s the studying, Lily?” Marlene asked brightly.

“Oh. Fine,” the redhead replied. “The bit about spell strengths has been rather dull, but…” she trailed off, seeing from her friends bemused smile that she really didn’t care in the least.

“Coming to dinner with us?” Alana asked. “There’s supposed to be duck tonight!”

“I suppose. I was hoping to finish my essay on the many uses of the Protean Charm tonight, but I didn’t get much done on so I guess it can wait.”

“The Protean Charm?” Alana inquired, looking puzzled. “I thought you said you were writing about the many uses of trigger modifications.”

“Yeah. You nearly drove us mad talking about how you thought it would be a brilliant topic on Monday,” Marlene added. “Besides, we aren’t even supposed to learn the Protean Charm until next year. And the essay isn’t due for a couple of weeks.”

“I know, I know, I just changed my mind,” Lily defended.

“Of course. It _has_ to be _perfect_ ,” both her friends laughed back.

“Hurry up then,” Marlene said as she and Alana headed downstairs. “We’ll wait for you in the common room while you get into your robes.”

Waiting for them to leave, Lily shut her book and looked at the parchment she had hidden. There, in James Potter’s very distinctive writing, was another vexing change in his behavior. An actual compliment. She read the note again.

_I wanted to drop you a note of thanks for pushing me to my absolute limit in Charms. I saw you ~~practicing~~ performing the Protean Charm in the common room the other night. It was bloody impressive. Seems I’ve still got a lot of work on to catch you this year._

Unlike previous occasions, it was left unburdened by any professions of superiority or crude innuendo. It also made no reference to their disagreement the other night, or their historically fractious relationship. Lily realized that it had been part of one of their pranks, but the prank in itself was odd. From everything she had heard, it seemed the notes were part of some sort of compliment campaign, with every student receiving one…even Slytherins, though the vast majority of those messages apparently came from Pettigrew and Remus. As she pulled on her robes, she wondered if there was an ulterior motive. Perhaps delivering the notes was a means to an end? She would have to see if she could wheedle anything out of Remus…

Suddenly she heard footsteps on the stairs. “Lily?” a concerned Alana called out.

“I’m fine,” Lily answered quickly. “Just found a stain I had to clean up first.”

Pinning her prefect badge to her robes, Lily tucked the parchment back in her bag and headed downstairs to meet her friends for dinner.

“Aren’t you at least going to tell us what it said?” implored Renee Haverford, the dark-haired Gryffindor seated next to Katie Wallenby.

“We shared what ours said!” Marie Thomas exclaimed in support. “It’s only fair!”

“Yours were inch-deep and witless,” Katie retorted.

“Exactly!” Marie begged. “Yours came from _James Potter_.”

“You don’t even know that,” Katie said dismissively.

“Course I do,” Marie huffed matter-of-factly, “I knicked a scrap of his parchment to see if he wrote mine.”

“Fine. So mine came from James. What do you care what it said? It’s not as if I asked to hear yours,” Katie grumbled, turning back to her duck and potatoes.

“Isn’t it obvious, Marie?” Renee muttered.

“What?” Marie asked earnestly.

Renee sighed. “I love you to death, but you’re not the sharpest…”

“Shut it, Renee,” Katie snapped.

“Ouch! Somebody’s gotten herself twisted…”

“Shut it!” Katie repeated, drawing the attention of the few other groups eating nearby. Looking down, she lowered her voice to a whisper. “I’ll tell you later. I’m not about to get into this at dinner when he’s feet away,” she hissed.

“He’s _tables_ away, Katie,” Renee grumbled as she rolled her eyes. “Anyway, suit yourself.”

“Who’s tables away?” James inquired moments later as he strode toward the three witches.

Katie’s eyes went wide at the sound of his voice and she felt the heat rising in her cheeks. With her fair complexion, she was sure she looked a foolish shade of red, despite her freckles.

“Oh, nobody,” Marie volunteered. “Just some brutish Slytherin who was giving Katie trouble earlier.”

Ignoring the obvious discrepancy in the described distance, given that the Slytherin table was practically a room away from where the girls were seated, James’s expression soured. “What kind of trouble?”

“James it was really nothing,” Katie interceded. “Some fourth year who was feeling bold. I don’t even remember his name.”

“Hmm…” James mused, his eyebrows still furrowed.

“James…” Katie said again, gently touching his arm, “…really, it’s fine. Anyway, I could handle him myself if need be.”

“Git–”

“So James…what brought you over?” Renee interrupted.

The boy’s head snapped up. “Oh…err, I was just going to see if Katie might be able to help me settle a bet. Sirius has gone round the bend again with a friendly wager on quidditch trivia…” he trailed off.

“What’s the question?” Katie asked.

James looked down to notice his housemate’s hand still touching his forearm, her eyes dancing brightly. He smiled and took it, “I’ll lead the way. Sirius will want to put it to you just so...” he began and the pair made their way toward where a rowdy group of Gryffindor boys were seated to decide the issue.

Later that night, James found that he and Remus were the only students remaining in the common room. Since seeing Evans perform the Protean Charm the other night he had found himself spending more time with books recently in an effort to keep pace and consequently spending more time with the more studious werewolf. He slammed his book shut in frustration.

Remus looked up in amusement. “Still chasing the perfect topic?”

“Forget it!” James exclaimed. “I’ll stick with my original – you know the triggering mods and all even if it is easy for us behind the parchment. Should be complex enough to keep pace, though it doesn’t have the shock value…”

Remus looked at his frazzled friend for a moment before closing his book and allowing a silence to fall between them. Apparently lost in thought, it took a moment for James to notice his friend was giving him a meaningful look.

“Got something to say?” James inquired.

“I do.”

“Get on with it then. I’m about to turn in.”

“Well…I know unlike Sirius you prefer we _don’t_ intrude on this area too often, but I have to ask…” Remus offered, along with a tepid smile.

James smirked. “You need a double for Hogsmeade? Don’t want to chance it coupling off with Padfoot and O’Donnell?”

The werewolf’s expression immediately turned serious. “No, this is entirely about you, James.”

James felt his pulse pick up bit. “Alright, Moony, spit it out.”

Remus scanned the room to ensure no one was present to eavesdrop. “Who’s the witch you’re _really_ after this year?”

“Really?” James scoffed. “You’ve turned all serious over that? I’ve already said at least–”

“And I didn’t believe you then. I’m not sure whether I do now.”

“Oh?”

“James, you’ve lived in the same town as Katie your entire life. If she had really been your aim all along it would’ve been only too easy to get to know her this summer instead of at school.”

“The idea came late…” James offered unconvincingly.

“The idea to sell it to Sirius perhaps…” Remus retorted. “But all the changes this year would certainly not be required to win over Katie Wallenby.”

“Changes?”

“Don’t fool around, James,” Remus said warningly.

“I just got sentenced to two weeks cleaning cauldrons! What are you playing at?”

Remus looked down and shook his head. “And that proves it. You’ve hidden it well, I have to admit. If I didn’t have such time on my hands…or a particular mutual friend…I may have started to buy it myself.”

James looked away toward the window, remaining silent.

“You fancy Lily Evans,” Remus stated simply.

“I–”

“Don’t deny it,” the werewolf interrupted, throwing his friend a stern glare. “What I don’t understand then, is all this that’s sprung up with Katie. Seems like a bit more effort than required to throw Sirius off the real scent.”

“Look…” James began. “It’s complicated. Do I fancy Evans? Absolutely. But she doesn’t even see the effort. Not really.”

“So it’s too slow for you?” Remus bristled. “ _I_ know you. Lily doesn’t. If you’re honest, she’s only ever seen your worst for five years. She’s a careful witch, James.”

“It’s not that at all…” James growled defensively. “At first, everything with Katie _was_ to occupy Sirius…but then I started to really notice her. More than before, when she’s out in the stands, I mean. I’m getting to know her and something feels good about it.”

“Perhaps that it’s coming easy?” Remus volunteered sardonically.

“Sod off!” James shot back. “You _know_ that part of my reputation is absolutely undeserved.”

“I do,” Remus conceded.

“Look…I’m not stopping what I’ve started…this whole growing up business I mean. That started for Evans, but it’s bigger than that. When it comes to her and Katie though…I’m working through it. You’ll know by Hogsmeade. Whichever way it goes…it’s serious,” James finished before marching upstairs to go to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Again, a lot to cover here. Initially I thought about putting off the confrontation with Lupin, but I decided that we had reached the point in the year and overall story arc I have planned, that it was time to force a decision from James. Still, I think you’ll actually see an increase in interactions between James and Lily though I will warn in advance that they will sometimes be frustrating. Keep in mind though that James and Lily’s internal thoughts are still an enormous mystery to one another. It will all come around in the end.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	10. Just You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I thought I'd be remiss if I didn't reveal to you one of my hidden talents.'

On the morning of the first trip to Hogsmeade, Katie Wallenby was losing her patience.

“Come on, Katie,” Marie Thomas pled, “just let me do a little something extra for you.”

Renee Haverford grumbled as she gave her best friend another once-over. “You really should listen to me,” she warned. “If the girls he’s dated before are any indication of what he likes…”

“Enough!” Katie shouted, sending her friends into stunned silence. “I can’t take any more! All this week – wear this, do that, you _have_ to have those – you’re driving me mad.”

“We’ve only been trying to help,” Renee huffed.

“It _is_ James Potter,” Marie said quietly.

“I know bloody well who he is,” Katie retorted.

Renee placed a hand gently on Katie’s shoulder. “We’re just trying to give you your best chance. You are going on a date with a boy who’s been through his fair share of witches…”

“Stop, Renee,” she warned.

“Right. I know. It’s just, being that the longest any–”

“Yes. I know. Three months,” Katie said brusquely. “You’ve got your own dates to meet. I’ll be down in a few minutes,” she finished.

Exchanging a concerned look, the other two girls grabbed their cloaks and headed down the stairs.

Katie took a moment to look at herself in the floor-length mirror. She nodded, happy with her appearance. She was dressed simply and warmly. Her hair, her nails, and her face were neat. Despite much prodding from her friends to be more glamorous, she had also stuck with her usual understated use of make-up. She wasn’t about to change just to suit a boy’s fancy. Moreover, she considered herself an independent person, maybe a bit different, but happy with her choices and the person she was. If James couldn’t respect that, she reasoned as she started downstairs, she would just have to find a wizard who would.

After Remus and Peter had left the tower to pick up their dates, both Hufflepuffs, James found himself left behind with Sirius and his date, their buxom housemate, Shannon O’Donnell. They had planned on leaving the common room in a few minutes in order to heighten their chances of leading the line to Hogsmeade, but thus far, there was no sign of Katie. While he waited, James made a conscious effort to keep a positive expression on his face. The inane topics his best friend and his busty companion had already taken to loudly discussing were incredibly irritating. Simply the way it was with Sirius though, James reckoned. The long-locked “Heartthrob of Hogwarts” as Sirius was known to many girls about the castle, tended to place an emphasis on appearance over substance. As Shannon continued to prove his point, James found himself incredibly pleased that Sirius had asked Remus to double with them as opposed to him. Suddenly James was startled out of his thoughts by a light punch in the arm.

“Look there, mate!” Sirius said in a loud whisper.

Looking up, James saw no need to ask the question that had been on his lips. Coming down the staircase from the girls’ dormitories was his own date. James immediately met her soft blue eyes and smiled. He was happy to see that despite the occasion, Katie looked entirely herself. No glamour charms, no frills, or excessive jewelry. Her shiny brown hair was put up nicely in twin braids that started near her forehead and her freckles seemed to dance along her cheekbones as she returned his smile. Though she was dressed simply, James couldn’t help noticing that her clothing still flattered her trim, athletic figure. The dark jeans she had chosen hugged her tightly in all the right places. Her chosen top, long-sleeved in scarlet and gold appeared comfortable, but didn’t unduly diminish the outline of her breasts. A thin gold chain was all that hung about her neck and she was carrying a navy peacoat that James hoped fit her as nicely as her jeans.

“Ready then, Katie?” James asked, gesturing toward the portrait hole.

“Ready,” she replied, finally exhaling as she allowed James to gently guide her through the exit with a hand on her back.

On the way to the village, the Marauders and their dates had traveled together, making light conversation about classes, quidditch, and to both James and Katie’s dismay, some of the latest articles in _Witch Weekly_. Mercifully, when they finally reached the village, James had his date all to himself.

“So where are we headed?” Katie started.

“Where would you like to go?” James answered quickly.

Katie’s eyes narrowed. “Well, maybe I’m a tad too traditional, but I’d thought you’d already have something planned…you do have somewhat of a reputation for planning things after all…”

“Just trying to put the lady’s wishes first,” James replied, making a joking flourish with one hand.

Katie laughed at the gesture. “Really though,” she chuckled, “where to?”

“I thought we’d start at Honeydukes. I can spoil you a bit before the walk we’ve got ahead.”

“Spoil me? Think you know what sweets I like already do you?”

“If I remember correctly from the feasts and the trolley, you’re rather partial to your crystallized pineapple and Pumpkin Pasties…”

Katie was pleasantly surprised that James already knew this about her, especially given their rather limited interactions on the Express or in the Great Hall before this year. At worst, he’d done the legwork to find it out. At best, he’d actually had his eye on her.

“Been watching me have you?” she joked.

“Maybe…or perhaps I’m good at guessing,” James teased.

“You and that sharp tongue,” Katie replied, shaking her head. “For that you can get me some chocolate as well. Every witch enjoys that now and again.”

Having quickly navigated their way through the masses in the candy shop, the pair stepped back out into the street after a short time, laden with two small sacks of sweets. Katie immediately reached in for one of her precious pasties. James watched as she took a bite, noticing how her lips closed nicely as she took a moment to savor the flavor. Perhaps if he was lucky–

“Have I got some on my face?” Katie interrupted.

“What? Err…no. I was just watching you enjoy your first bite,” James deflected. “I’m not sure I’ve seen anyone take such joy from a simple pastie before…”

“Berk,” she retorted, playfully elbowing him in the side. “You said we had a walk ahead?”

“Right,” James started. “I thought I’d be remiss if I didn’t reveal to you one of my hidden talents.”

“You hide talents?” Katie joked.

“As a matter of fact, I do. At least around these parts,” James answered, an amused smile crossing his face. “ _Anyway_ , there’s a music shop down the other end of the street. I want to take you.”

“Music? Well you _are_ just full of surprises aren’t you?” she grinned.

“So I’ve been told,” James answered with a smirk.

Having slowly progressed about halfway to the shop chatting about what they had done the previous summer, James decided he would have to take the initiative to move beyond their flirty banter and shared interests.

“So…I’m a bit embarrassed we’ve lived in the same town our whole lives and I don’t know you better.”

“Yeah. Strange isn’t it? Not many witches and wizards in Stroud really.”

“Exactly. My dad’s mentioned having your family over loads of times–”

“Has he really?” Katie asked, sounding intrigued.

“Yeah. I mean, he’s brought up dinner a bunch over the years. Have you over for the meal or some Ministry to-do…it’s weird he’s never followed through on it. Disappointing really.” James replied.

“That’s interesting. I suppose we travel in different circles though,” Katie offered.

“What do you mean?”

“Well…it’s just that your parents are prominent people, especially your dad at the Ministry. My mum mostly stayed home to raise me…runs a small catering and party business on the side for our folk and Muggles. My dad works at the Ministry too, but he doesn’t do anything important really, just sporting business. Got me interested in quidditch though…”

James waited.

“…honestly, I guess I just didn’t realize your family ever thought of us on the other side of Stroud.”

“I’m sorry about that,” James muttered.

“Forget it, James,” Katie said pointedly. “It’s hardly your fault.”

“So then…where do you live exactly?”

“Outskirts really. Near Cotswold Edge.”

“The brown cottage near the tree line?!” James asked, incredulous.

“That’s us,” Katie answered, surprised that he knew her house. “Not much around really. Though that’s nice sometimes.”

“I think it’s brilliant,” James enthused.

Katie regarded him skeptically. “Brilliant? You live on a massive estate.”

James looked down.

“Ahh. I’ve said something.”

“No,” James quickly insisted. “It’s just…I love the country. I know my family estate is still in Stroud, but…I guess I think of it as my parents’ place. I don’t think I’d want to live out my days there or anything.”

“Why not?”

“It’s mostly empty. Gets a bit lonely if my friends aren’t around. And obviously my family and our whole situation makes life more comfortable, but aside from my broom and my banner…I’m simpler. I think a small cottage…such a beautiful view…I think it’s brilliant.”

“Hmm…” Katie mused as a silence filled the air between them.

After walking on like that for a few more minutes, they finally reached their destination.

“So there is a music shop after all,” Katie chuckled nervously, hoping to brighten the mood again.

James rewarded her with the return of his smile. “Course there is!” he replied, opening the door. “After you.”

As they entered the small shop, Katie was dazzled by the number of different instruments crammed into the space. In the windows were the standard fare – a piano, a trumpet, a trombone, and a saxophone. As they moved toward the counter at the back, she began to notice some more exotic looking instruments she couldn’t even name.

“Oi! Dom!” James called out.

Hearing his greeting, an elderly gentleman emerged from what appeared to be a dimly lit stockroom. “Mr. Potter!” he happily croaked. “Good to see you again. Finally come to liberate the blatkessel?”

“Afraid not,” James frowned. “I think we might be waiting on that one until I get my inheritance…”

“Oh…a shame…you’ve learned to play it well…”

“James,” Katie whispered, “what in the name of Merlin is a blatkessel?”

“Pure wizarding instrument,” James whispered back. “It’s a sort of staff…notches separate the areas that play different notes. You use different movements and flourishes of the wand to produce the sounds and rhythm of the notes in that area. Dom’s a flatterer, I’m dreadful at that thing.”

The silence drew the old man’s attention back to them. “What brings you in then my dear boy?”

“Well…I was hoping I could convince you to let me borrow one of your violins.”

“You could…but whatever for? You must have your own…”

“Right. Afraid my parents don’t want it getting broken at school…but still I was hoping I could play a little something for my friend here,” James replied with a wink.

Even at his age, the old man recognized the meaning behind James’s signal. “Ahh yes…yes of course,” he responded quickly, reaching above the counter to fetch one such instrument from the lowest shelf. Carefully, he handed it to James.

Looking around quickly, James noticed a chair in the far corner. “Miss Wallenby, if you would be so kind as to accompany me over here for a moment.”

“Only if you drop the ‘Miss’ business, _Mr._ Potter.” She laughed, following him to where he had seen the chair.

“Well,” James began, gesturing for his companion to sit, “I promised you a hidden talent, so here you are.”

With that, James laid his head against the instrument and began to draw the bow deliberately across the instruments strings. Over the next twenty minutes, he proceeded to produce powerful deep melodies and sharp lively tunes from the Muggle instrument, ultimately finishing his miniature concert with a dramatic flourish of the bow before bowing to the impressed witch in front of him and returning the instrument to its owner.

Katie giggled at James’s bow, but quickly rose to clap for his performance. “So there is a softer side to James Potter,” she said, arching one eyebrow in his direction.

“I’m not sure about softer… I think I prefer refined,” he said airily, raising his nose into the air.

Katie playfully smacked his arm. “Whatever makes you feel better,” she smirked. “Where did you learn to play the violin like that anyway?”

“Perk of being left to my own devices during those lonely times I mentioned,” James deadpanned.

Leaving the shop, James gave a thank you to the owner and opened the door for his date. While they were inside, the sun had been blocked by gathering clouds and both students felt a new chill in the breeze that blew in their direction. As they headed back to the more crowded area of the village, James reached out and locked arms with Katie, drawing her closer to him. Unsure how she would react, James quickly looked down at her. He was delighted to see her smiling back at him, a decidedly increased brightness in her blue eyes and what he thought was a light blush on her freckled cheeks. James returned the smile and they headed off to the Three Broomsticks for drinks.

Some time later, having both warmed themselves with drinks and a wonderful conversation and enjoyed a visit to Spintwitches’ quidditch Supplies, James and Katie were walking comfortably hand-in-hand in the light of the setting sun. Each found themselves constantly smiling or laughing at the other’s joke. As they neared the path back to Hogwarts, the couple’s conversation and spates of laughter began to take their faces closer and closer together until finally, at the top of the hill leaving town, James turned his date to face him. Though a curious look played in the attractive young witch’s eyes, he was rewarded with another one of her smiles, this one appearing to be nervous and expectant in equal parts.

“So…we’re about to go then…anything important I’ve left undone?” James inquired.

“It’s been a wonderful date,” Katie said, looking upward for a moment as if to thank the heavens. “Thank you. And thank you for having the sense not to drag me to Madame Puddifoot’s.”

James laughed. “Yes, well I didn’t think that was either of our cup of _tea_.”

“Mmm…you are _so_ funny…” she mocked, leaning her face forward and turning her eyes down.

James then took hold of both of Katie’s hands and lifted her chin so their noses were almost touching. For the moment, silence fell between them. Katie could feel James’s hot breath on her face and she licked her lips in anticipation.

“You know, James, I think there _may_ be one _very_ important thing you’ve forgotten…” Katie whispered suggestively in his ear.

That was all the invitation he needed. Lifting one hand to the back of her head, he closed the last remaining distance between them and pressed his lips to hers. The collision was soft and warm and wonderful. He could feel a fire spring to life within him as he felt her press back, deepening the kiss. Breaking briefly for air, the couple exchanged several more short kisses through wide smiles before happily locking hands once again and turning to leave the village behind. As they made their way back to the castle through the fading mid-afternoon sunlight, James wrapped an arm around Katie, pulling her body tightly to him. They spent the remainder of the return trip enjoying their newfound closeness in happy silence, with Katie’s head leaning comfortably against James’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you’ve been reading the Author’s Notes thus far, James’s choice shouldn’t surprise you. Still, contrary to many of the other chapters I have written up to this point, this one actually began with a particular vision. I originally planned on including the re-emergence of Snape here, but I was unhappy with the first draft that incorporated that element. In my re-read, the experience felt too jarring and hurried. On top of that the way it would mesh with the rest of the chapter panned out better in my head than when I got it typed out, so I’m delaying it for another chapter or two. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	11. The Price of Going Public

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this was what it was like to be to be topic number one on the Hogwarts rumor mill.

After their first date at Hogsmeade, James had wasted no time in continuing to court Katie. She recalled the next two weeks of time spent together fondly. In their Transfiguration lesson the following Tuesday, James had promptly ignored McGonagall’s instructions about turning the pieces of straw they had been provided into gold, instead turning his into a bouquet of flowers when the aging professor was helping another student and sending it across the room to Katie with a hastily scrawled note. McGonagall had of course quickly discovered what happened and returned the flowers to their rightful state, but it was the thought that counted.

The following Friday they had been studying together in the library – her request – when she casually mentioned being hungry. The next thing she knew, she had been whisked off through a secret entrance to the school kitchens where the house elves, who seemed to know James well, made them no end of delicious treats.

Despite her love of quidditch, Katie had been nervous when James had asked her to go flying with him earlier that day. When she had come to school she had wanted desperately to make the house team, but after First Year Flying she discovered she was far from a natural and hours of practice over the summers had never been able to completely correct it. Still, James proved to be an excellent teacher and she thoroughly enjoyed spending time with him in his element. It was after their last run, when they had descended to the center circle, that he had finally asked her to be exclusive. Both knew they hadn’t being seeing anyone else in the intervening time, but she had been thrilled to make things official.

As she entered the Great Hall with Renee and Marie to join James and his friends for dinner however, everything suddenly felt different. A much larger number of eyes than she was accustomed to seemed to follow her as she walked down the table. Though she couldn’t make out what was being said, she could clearly hear other students whispering as she passed. Particularly jarring were the looks she got from some girls she had always had a positive relationship with. More than a few had replaced their usual smiles with glares, while still more wore hesitant, almost pitying expressions. She felt herself beginning to blush as she scanned the table for her boyfriend. Katie was relieved when she saw his messy black hair sticking out from the crowd. Noticing her, he quickly stood and walked to her, pulling her close for a hug and placing a light kiss on her lips. Katie smiled, pushing thoughts of her unsettling walk to the background for the time being.

“Hi!” James said brightly. “Saved you a place,” he added, gesturing to an empty space next to Sirius that appeared to have room for two. “Renee and Marie, it’s a pleasure as always,” he nodded, winking. “We’ve saved you two spots next to Remus.”

“Thanks, James…” the girls replied, leaving the couple alone for the moment.

“So…how’ve you been?” James asked.

“You mean since you saw me two hours ago?” Katie laughed. “Just fine. Listening to Renee and Marie chatter on. Thanks to you they absolutely _insist_ on sharing every tidbit from _Witch Weekly_ with me.”

“Ugh,” James groaned. “Sounds like a nightmare. You must be starved.”

“Yeah…food sounds good right about now,” she replied.

To Katie’s relief, conversation with James’s friends came easy. For the roughly an hour they had spent at the table there had been no awkward silences or forced discussions of dismal subjects. She had even been able to squeeze in some one-on-one conversation with James, while a rather peaked looking Remus diplomatically entertained her two friends. Finally however, the time came for the meal to break up.

“Have anything planned tonight?” Katie asked James. She hoped that with no major assignments looming on the horizon she could spend more time alone with her boyfriend, eager to showcase some of her own hidden talents and interests.

“Afraid so,” James answered, a solemn expression crossing his face. “I’ve promised this lot a boys’ night.”

“Oh?”

“Nothing to worry about,” he demurred. “Catching up…sharing a bit of drink…some classified planning.”

“Classified?”

“Yes. As in _top secret_.”

Katie rolled her eyes. “Finally going to brighten this place up with some more pranks are you?”

James winked, “A gentleman never tells…”

“Right,” Katie scoffed. “Well, do try to keep yourself from getting _too_ many detentions won’t you?”

“Of course, of course,” James assured her. “I have plans of my own you know. Some of which happen to involve you.”

“Well, good luck with your little secret meeting,” she teased. “See you at breakfast?”

“Definitely,” James answered.

James stood as Katie got up to leave. Before parting ways, Katie reached forward and hugged him tightly before pulling back and planting a firm kiss on his mouth. “Just another reason to avoid too much detention,” she whispered, winking at her boyfriend as she turned to go.

As she walked out of the Great Hall, Katie once again became conscious of all the eyes on her. Though she had been able to put it out of her mind while with James, nervousness came to the forefront again. As the lead-up to their relationship had played out, Katie had expected a little of this. After all, she reckoned, she had taken one of the most sought-after wizards on the market off the table. Still, it was a bit unsettling how _many_ people seemed to have changed their attitude toward her and how suddenly. She put part of it down to petty jealousy, but it did make her wonder about the whispers and about how much truth there was to James’s playboy reputation.

Returning to Gryffindor Tower, Katie was disappointed to learn that her friends had also made other plans for the evening, assuming without even talking to her that she would be spending that night with James. While it was altogether different, it seemed to Katie to be just another irritating assumption the people around her were making.

Nonetheless, she resolved to put the time to good use. While she had already completed the reading for this week’s work, the next looked like the resumption of the heavier loads to which the sixth-years had become accustomed. Though a capable student, she realized she was falling a bit off the pace in Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, which were not her best subjects. She knew of course that among his many talents, her boyfriend was an outstanding student, at least in terms of grades, but she was determined to stay responsible for learning the skills she needed on her own despite their relationship. Flying was one thing, but outside of that, she didn’t feel ready to share too many of her weaknesses or vulnerabilities with him. And Merlin knows how he would react anyway. Breaking away from her thoughts for a moment, she grabbed her bag from off her bed and headed off to the library.

On the way, she found herself passing many groups of other students talking in the corridors. The whispering continued and soon she noticed that some groups of girls abruptly stopped speaking when she drew near. For a time, finding a secluded place in the stacks of dusty books was something of a relief. Being able to truly focus on her work for the first time in a while, she found that some of the material she had struggled with was coming much easier to her now. A sense of satisfaction began to rise within her. Suddenly however, her work was interrupted by loud whispering from a neighboring stack.

“I told you. Don’t worry about her, Courtney. She’s nothing special,” one girl said.

“Hmph. Well, James Potter certainly seems to think she is,” the other responded, clearly irritated.

Katie’s face burned as she realized that her suspicions had been absolutely correct.

“Yeah right,” the first girl began sarcastically. “She’s just different than what he’s had. That’s the only reason he’s giving her the time of day.”

“You think so?” Courtney sniffed.

“It’s _so_ obvious. Not counting those disgusting Slytherins, he could have any girl he wants. _You’re_ beautiful and funny. And Merlin, at least you know how to dress. She’s _so_ plain. A boy like James can’t possibly stay attracted to that for long,” the first girl reassured.

“I know you’re right, Rebecca…” Courtney answered again, “…it’s just we have a couple of classes together and I’ve put in the actual effort with him and then he picks that stupid little _bitch_ out of nowhere?”

Katie was half-broken, half-furious inside as the pair of girls carried on.

“Exactly though, Court, out of _nowhere_. She’s nice and she likes quidditch. That’s _all_ she has going for her. You know, my dad told me her dad is almost the lowest in his department at the Ministry, even after all the time he’s spent there. Her mom doesn’t even have a real job…”

“Really?”

“Absolutely, sweetheart. You have _nothing_ to be freaking out about. James Potter could never bring that kind of girl home to meet his parents. A poor girl on the Potter’s estate. She wouldn’t even know what to do with herself at dinner.”

Katie quietly shut her books, trying to leave their hateful conversation behind before she broke down or did something she would regret. Given that she didn’t recognize the two voices, she assumed they must be students in another house, but it was difficult for Katie to understand how they could speak so horribly about her.

Suddenly a third voice entered the conversation, one she recognized as belonging to a Hufflepuff, Whitney Blake. “Hey, you two have been gone forever!”

“I’m just giving Courtney a heart to heart about her little crush on James Potter…” Rebecca said.

“Oh, Courtney, I’m so sorry…” Whitney sympathized.

“I’ll be alright once he comes to his senses,” Courtney replied, seeming emboldened by her friend’s wicked pep talk. “I just can’t believe he’d choose _her_.”

“Merlin, Court!” Whitney exclaimed, “Nobody can. It’s all the school’s talking about. There _has_ to be something going on behind closed doors…if you catch my meaning,” she said conspiratorially.

That was absolutely _it_. Katie was livid. They weren’t even bothering to whisper anymore. And the _whole school_ was talking about it? Drawing her wand she began making her way down the stack so she could round the corner and confront them.

“That _would_ explain it,” Rebecca remarked, failing to notice her friends retreating from Katie’s rapid advance. “Not that crazy given what she comes from. She’s probably after his inheritance…”

Katie thrust her wand into the girl’s chest. “Got a problem with me?!” she yelled. “Why don’t you say it to my face?! Didn’t expect I’d be right on the other side of the stack did you?!”

Rebecca laughed confidently. “I’m _glad_ you heard us you stupid little tart. You’re not fooling anybody…when Potter gets tired of whatever you’re giving him, you’ll end up like all the rest.”

Just before Katie was able to start hexing the group into next week, Benji Bamford, a seventh-year Ravenclaw prefect appeared. “Hey! What’s going on here?” he shouted. “You! You know there’s no wands out in the library!”

As the girls tittered and dispersed, Katie reluctantly put her wand in her back pocket. “I’ll give you a break this time,” he said sternly, “but if I catch you doing the same again, I’ll have to leave your fate to the librarian.”

Feeling defeated, Katie slumped down against one the tall stacks of books as soon as she was alone again. So this was what it was like to be topic number one on the Hogwarts rumor mill. Of course, most of what they’d said didn’t have a grain of truth to it, but their words still stung. Other parts, she couldn’t be sure. She and James’s backgrounds _were_ very different. Immediately she felt worse just for entertaining the thought. Katie cast her mind back to their brief conversation about their homes and families in Hogsmeade. In his own words, James had no strong attachment to all the trappings his family’s wealth and status brought. Katie doubted that a pretentious set of parents could raise a son with that disposition. She wanted to talk to him about what happened, but James was busy tonight and she was stronger than that. This would probably get worse before it got better. Going back around to the row where she had been working earlier, Katie opened her books again, trying to put the gossip and confrontation out of her mind. More work and a good night’s sleep would do her good.

When she came downstairs for breakfast the following morning, James was waiting for her in the common room. Katie smiled the biggest smile she could muster. As they entered the Great Hall together, Katie felt the eyes and whispers more keenly than before. She steeled herself as she passed by the Hufflepuffs she had encountered the night before, though she couldn’t avoid noticing their taunting glares and giggling. James seemed blissfully unaware of it all.

However, he was not blissfully unaware of his girlfriend’s sudden lack of appetite. Politely breaking away from the group conversation, he leaned in and put his arm around her. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he whispered quietly into her ear.

Katie pulled out of the hug and looked up at him. “Nothing…” she said lamely.

“Right…” James scoffed. “You’ve barely eaten. And I’ve been missing that smile all morning.”

Katie smiled back weakly. It would be an easy invitation to take, especially with the poor job she was obviously doing trying to act normally. She looked away and took a small bite of egg.

To her side, she heard James failing to suppress a laugh. “Not convincing,” he whispered back.

“I’m just tired is all…it was a late night trying to work through some assignments I’m behind on.”

James studied his girlfriend. He knew both he and her closest friends had left her in the lurch last night. Tiredness _could_ be a plausible explanation. Still, there was something different about her. The vibrancy and self-confidence she usually exhibited – part of what made her so attractive – seemed to have all but melted away.

“Those books must have really kicked your arse last night then…” he trailed off.

Katie sighed. Another opening. The two passed the next several minutes in silence.

“Come on then,” James said suddenly, standing up from the table.

“What? Where?” Katie asked, perplexed.

“You’re not eating anything,” he said plainly. “No sense in sticking around here.”

When she accepted his outstretched hand, he pulled Katie to her feet and continued holding her hand as they exited the Great Hall. This time, James watched her closely. She seemed to be very ill-at-ease as they walked between the tables, eyes down. He noticed a harsh whisper from a group of Hufflepuff girls as they passed by and though he couldn’t make out what they’d said, the flush in Katie’s cheeks did not escape his attention. As they walked through the large wooden doors into the corridor outside, James pulled her quickly around the nearest corner and stopped.

“Alright. You can just tell me what’s really going on with you now or I can pester you all day until you give it up,” James said, crossing his arms in front of him.

“James…” she groaned.

“I’m known to be very persistent…” he replied, running a hand through his hair and trying to disarm her with his trademark smirk.

“I know…I just…I don’t want to be _that_ girl. I’ve always handled my own problems…” Katie mumbled.

“But now,” James prodded, “you have a boyfriend. And as even the dullest witch will tell you that means your problems are my problems. I know you’re _far_ from dull. So that makes me think the problem has something to do with me.”

“Well–”

“Aha!” James interrupted. “Right again!”

Katie shifted uneasily on her feet, breaking eye contact with James. He was really going to force her to have this conversation. “It’s Hogwarts,” she sighed. “It’s the stares and the whispers and the rumors going around…”

James frowned. “What rumors?”

“It shouldn’t be a big deal,” Katie deflected. “I mean I’m sure you’re used to it…you’ve been popular for ages…and with quidditch and your pranks and everything…I guess it just doesn’t faze you anymore, right?” she rambled.

“Katie,” James started, locking his hazel eyes onto her pained blue ones, “what rumors?”

“It’s nothing, it’s–”

“It’s clearly not,” James insisted.

“Alright!” she said louder-than-intended. Before continuing she scanned the hallway and peered around the corner to make sure no one was listening in. “You know, since I became your girlfriend, almost immediately people started looking at me differently. Especially girls. It felt like everybody was whispering about me behind my back. Merlin…I sound paranoid…”

“No you don’t,” James reassured her.

“Anyway, I really did do a lot of work on Charms and Defense last night. You were busy,” she began, “and I get that – you need time with your friends – I’m not _that_ girl either. Renee and Marie just assumed I’d be with you so they went off somewhere, and I decided I’d just get some work done in the library.”

“And?”

“And I was feeling really good about what I’d gotten done, when I heard these girls one row over just start whispering really loudly. And pretty quickly, I figured out I hadn’t been imagining that people were talking about me behind my back.”

The understanding, sympathetic expression that had marked her boyfriend’s face before had now been firmly replaced by a scowl.

“I…I don’t want to go into all of it…they just…I mean I don’t even know them – not really – and they were saying such hateful things about me…really cruel things about my family…they accused me of…” Katie paused, feeling her anger rising to the surface once again. “…they said you wouldn’t be with me if I weren’t…” She couldn’t bring herself to finish.

James felt his fists clench. “The fuck do they know. Who? Who’s spreading that?” he growled.

“James…I hardly know them. I mean, I almost hexed them, but this prefect–”

“You almost hexed them?” James interrupted.

“Well…yeah,” Katie said, finally showing James at least part of her genuine smile. “It was either that or run off and cry about it…I don’t run away and I’m not really a crier so…”

“Shame somebody stopped you…” James thought aloud. He looked down for a moment. Katie thought she noticed sadness, or maybe disappointment enter his eyes. After a few seconds he met her eyes again. “I’m sorry, Katie.”

“It’s alright…” she offered. “It’s just…something to adjust to I guess. I’ll be fine…” She felt James touch her arm.

“No. It’s not alright. You shouldn’t have to deal with it,” he said, shaking his head.

“Well, it’s hardly your fault–”

“It is my fault. I have a certain reputation. You shouldn’t have to pay for it.”

“Everybody has a past, James–”

“And I’m not proud of this part of mine. I promise you that’s not what it seems either, but I still want you to know that I’m sorry.”

“Well I never judged you on it. I want you to know that.”

James smiled and nodded. “Thanks.” He wrapped his hands around Katie’s waist, hugging her before gently kissing her forehead. “Better?” he asked.

“Better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Since the view is to treat James and Katie’s relationship as “stand-alone” rather than simply a tool to facilitate the endgame pairing, I thought it was important to demonstrate quickly that James and Katie will have “issues” to work through. As a light preview, the next few chapters will include Snape’s return, Lily’s POV, learning more about Katie, and one full chapter that is Marauder-centric. Though I make no promises, the goal is to get through Christmas within the next seven chapters or so, at which point I think sixth year will progress fairly quickly, including addressing the situation in the world outside Hogwarts, which will have crucial implications for not just the post-graduation portion of this story, but also for seventh year.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	12. Hurting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He exulted, imagining the day when he could render Potter an impotent fraud.

After a busy day of lessons, Severus Snape walked into the Slytherin common room and quickly took a seat in one of the black leather chairs in the corner. Finally, after all of his careful progress, his spells were finally working. It had been only too easy to convince his Head of House to write him an indefinite pass to continue his research in the restricted section at the beginning of the year. That the old man arrogantly assumed his intention was to better his skills at potion-making was none of his concern. Severus had been incredibly pleased to discover just how much information about the art of spell construction lie in the ancient, dusty texts. He had already succeeded in creating a charm to ensure his conversations with Avery and Mulciber remained private and had cleverly altered some commonplace spells for more sinister purposes.

Of course, unlocking the spells was only a small part of his short-term objective. After years of torment, he would finally be able to give Potter and his insufferable friends the payback they deserved. When word had reached his ears of Potter’s new relationship he had considered striking early. As far as he could discern, the girl must have barely qualified for N.E.W.T.-level Defense Against the Dark Arts. The power behind her offensive spells was pathetic and in their practice duels her movements and combinations were completely inept. She would make an easy target and it would be a simple way to strike out at Potter.

However, the more thought he gave it, the more he realized that it would be far more satisfying to wait. Once he had perfected his spells, once he had mastered some of the advanced dueling techniques he had discovered, even Potter and Black would be no match for him. Finally, _they_ would be at _his_ mercy. And he was certain to take further joy in hexing the girl then. Yes. He smiled. Then he could hex the girl in front of Potter. The humiliation would be all the more severe when he was completely unable to stop it. He exulted, imagining the day when he could render Potter an impotent fraud.

The boy’s wicked thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of his associates, Avery and Mulciber.

“What’d you want?” Mulciber asked brusquely.

“Sit,” Snape replied, gesturing to the chair across from him. “Where’s Avery?”

“He’ll be along,” the dour-looking wizard replied curtly.

Snape felt his temper rise. His plans required immediate preparation. “Fine…”

After spending several minutes in heavy silence, Callum Avery arrived to join them, slumping his heavyset frame against the wall.

“ _Muffliato_ ,” Snape muttered, ensuring they could not be overheard.

“Is it finally time for payback?” Avery grumbled. “I’m not willing to sit on my hands any longer…”

“You will if I say so,” Snape shot back coldly. “Unless of course you want Slughorn to learn just who has been breaking into his personal stores…”

Avery smoldered in his chair, but said nothing.

“The time has almost arrived,” Snape said. “But we have to finish _all_ the required preparation. If we go into this recklessly we’ll only be made further fools of.”

“What’s left?” Mulciber complained. “You have more than enough spells ready–”

“To handle our targets, yes,” Snape interrupted. “But their housemates that will surely arrive to protect them? And the location? We can hardly do it in front of professors or where we would be outnumbered. We’d be caught and identified in minutes. And of course there’s the matter of your father’s much…larger…plans,” he finished.

Mulciber sat back, stewing. “What do want from us then?”

The right side of Snape’s mouth curled upward in a self-satisfied sneer. “I will continue working on the spells we’ll need and pick a location. In the meantime, you and Avery need to start tracking their movements. And Potter’s little band as well.”

Both of his associates nodded and left the corner as Snape canceled his muffling charm. Though he had long since grown tired of their idiotic simplicity, they served their purpose. Things could move along much quicker this way, and with a greater chance of success. Once they were ready it would be almost impossible for any of their fellow students to overpower the three of them. And if the right location were chosen, there would never be enough interlopers to stop them.

Of course, the other crucial piece was the ties his housemates had to the larger movement outside the confines of Hogwarts. He could already tell it was beginning to sow seeds of fear in their world. It was only natural that he was far from the only one to find their position seductive. Magical folk had been subjected to ridicule, torture, and murder at the hands of Muggles for too long. The notion that their world, full of people far more powerful, far better, had to live in secrecy appalled him.

Snape’s thoughts naturally turned toward home. He considered all the haughty Muggles who looked down on he and his family. They didn’t realize that even as a boy, only the misguided rules of his society prevented him from removing their smug or pitying looks from their faces. And of course there was his Muggle father. He was just a closer example. Their situation could have been improved dramatically if he only had the wisdom to allow his mother to use her magic. Instead, he forced her to stay hidden, while he wasted his wages getting plastered at pubs, coming home late, drunk and abusive.

Then there was Lily Evans. She was stubbornly impossible to purge from his mind. As far as Severus was concerned, she was the only good thing to have come from a pair of Muggles, though he had squandered that in a moment of weakness, he thought bitterly. He cursed himself for lumping her in with the rest of the incompetent Muggle-borns when she had only defended him. After the many months that had passed since, that slur – no – _losing her_ was still his greatest regret. She had claimed otherwise in her letter ending their friendship, but he knew the truth. It was the slur that had pushed her over the edge. It was also the greatest source of his rage toward Potter. Had it not been for the loathsome, arrogant swine he would never have been moved to say it. Not to Lily.

Snape’s thoughts returned quickly to realizing his plans. Potter _would_ be made to pay. He deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Phew. Second shortest chapter here, really focusing on Snape’s emotional and mental state more than anything. Despite spending a lot of time thinking about how Snape would be at this time in his life, he was difficult to write. Ultimately, I concluded that he was most likely filled with anger and a strong desire for revenge, especially as his powers and magical competency, particularly in the Dark Arts grow. There will be a return to lengthier chapters soon, but hopefully you still enjoyed this one. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	13. Not So Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wanted to know if you'd go to Hogsmeade with me next trip."

Lily sat at one of the more secluded tables in the library with her legs perfectly crossed. While she usually preferred to study amongst the stacks, she had a rare group-study appointment with some of the other Gryffindors from her Potions class. As she waited for the others to arrive after dinner, Lily absentmindedly fiddled with her hair, noticing to her dismay that she was suffering from a case of split ends again. Throughout her time at Hogwarts she had been resistant to using any of the magical products other witches used to avoid them, feeling more comfortable with the Muggle practices her mother had schooled her in over the years. She exhaled loudly. Lily had always prized punctuality. She had any number of essays she could be working on or Christmas letters she could be writing in advance of the looming holidays, but instead she had agreed to meet four of her housemates who were struggling in one of her best subjects. Though kindness was in her nature, she also couldn’t help but think how nice it might have been to accept Marlene and Alana’s invitation to join them for a girls’ night in.

Fifteen minutes later, the first of her housemates finally appeared. Sauntering in at a snail’s pace was Brandon Waters, a tall, lanky boy who hailed from Manchester and spent more time reading quidditch magazines and articles during Slughorn’s lectures than he did taking notes. The next two to arrive were Maggie Brinkley, brown hair up in her trademark ponytail and her blond-haired, blue-eyed boyfriend, Anders Svensson, whose family had immigrated to Britain in his youth. As the couple took seats next to one another at the table, she finally noticed her partner, Lionel Baird. Lionel’s tall, well-proportioned frame and chiseled jawline were always a welcome sight to her, though on this occasion he seemed a bit red in the face.

“Lily…” he panted, “I’m so sorry I’m late. First I left my book behind, and then after I got it I was halfway here and I realized I was out of ink–”

Lily chuckled. “It’s fine. Really. Everyone else just got here as well.”

As her housemates all pulled their supplies from their bags, Lionel spoke up again. “Does anyone have a particular topic they wanted to–”

“I do!” Maggie interrupted. “Anders and I have just really been dreading that essay Slughorn assigned about methods of extending the effective duration of Polyjuice Potion. At first glance, I mean obviously it seems straightforward, but there are just so many options.”

“Well,” Lily frowned, “there really aren’t _that_ many Maggie. Polyjuice is so delicate that the addition of even a basic fortifying ingredient could be disastrous. So it’s really more a matter of sorting through which ingredients in the formula itself could be safely tweaked or offset and how that all fits with the very complicated brewing instructions.”

“See! I told you!” Maggie exclaimed to her boyfriend. “Anders sort of doubted that he should come Lily, but I told him you really would have some brilliant bit like that to share!”

Almost two hours later, the exhausting session was finally over. Maggie had clearly come armed with dozens of questions, not including her many follow-ups. In typical fashion, Brandon had simply mooched off the others, furiously scribbling down Lily’s thoughts on any matter that was brought up by the other three.

Lionel on the other hand, despite being the last to arrive, had actually proven to be a pleasant surprise. Given his performance in the class in their first five years of school, Lily had been amazed his O.W.L.s even qualified him to take N.E.W.T.-level Potions and frankly concerned about the effect having him as her partner might have on her marks. Still, he was polite, which in made him pleasant to talk to in addition to how easy he was on the eyes, and with her help he seemed to be well on his way in the class. That night he had even managed to answer some of Maggie’s flurry of questions so that Lily had been able to catch her breath.

Shaking her thoughts clear, Lily realized that everyone but Lionel had already packed up and left. “I suppose they got what they came for,” she muttered.

“Yes, well…you should still be flattered, Lily,” Lionel started. “It’s not every day people in your own year feel comfortable asking you for help.”

“That’s nice of you to say,” she replied politely.

“I mean it. I mean, working with you this term has been brilliant. Getting to know you better too,” the broad-shouldered young man said, scratching at the sideburns of his closely-cropped hair.

“Well, I’ve enjoyed getting to know you too,” she responded earnestly. “You’ve been a breath of fresh air, especially compared to our other housemates in there.”

“You mean our friends from tonight?”

Lily answered his question with a knowing look.

Lionel chuckled.

“I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry. It’s not nice,” Lily sighed.

“I won’t tell,” Lionel said, giving her a wink and a light nudge.

A silence fell between them as Lionel finished packing his things away.

“Lily?” he said suddenly.

“Yes?”

“I…well, I wasn’t going to do this tonight…didn’t seem like the place, but…like I said, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you in class. I think you’re brilliant. Really talented obviously, but a classy witch as well. I wanted to know if you’d go to Hogsmeade with me next trip.”

“Oh,” Lily said, surprised at the turn of events. “Lionel–”

“It’s alright if it’s a no. I can take it.”

Lily cleared her throat. This was actually an amazing opportunity to stop all the questions and taunting about why she went alone – or never went at all. Things were bound to be awkward and she could let him down easy afterward. Simple enough. “Sure. I’ll go with you.”

“Oh! Excellent!” he exclaimed, smiling widely. “So two weeks then? I’ll meet you in the common room before breakfast?”

“Sounds great,” Lily answered.

Lily had been planning to study the remainder of the evening, but for some reason she found it difficult to get the sudden turn of events out of her head. Calling time on her studies, she decided to see how her two friends were doing. With a little luck, they’d be free to talk.

As she approached the door to her room, Lily was disappointed to hear three voices instead of only two. Though there were four beds in their dormitory, they had been fortunate at the sorting ceremony to only end up with three girls in their room. Clearly though, when Lily had been forced to miss out, Marlene and Alana had welcomed a new girl in. Sighing, she opened the door.

“Lily!” exclaimed Marlene. “You’re back! I thought you were going to study late after your meeting?”

“So did I,” Lily muttered, dumping her bag on her bed before looking to see who else was with them.

“Hi, Lily,” Katie said brightly.

“Oh! Hi, Katie! I wondered who the other voice I heard was.”

The other three girls in the room exchanged glances before Katie nodded her head.

“Sorry to surprise you, Lily,” Alana began, “it’s just Katie’s been getting a bit of a rough time of it from a lot of folks lately. We thought she could use some support.”

Before thinking about what she was about to say, Lily blurted, “That’s Potter for you.” An awkward silence fell over the room and without looking up, she could feel Katie staring at her. Lily’s face flushed with embarrassment. “Merlin. That’s twice in one night I’ve…I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine,” Katie said evenly. “I’m not going to ask you to pretend you like him. I already know you don’t.”

“It’s not fine,” Lily replied, shaking her head. “That was rude of me. I don’t even know what’s going on.”

“Just people being nasty,” Marlene offered. “All the charter members of the James Potter fan club have got their feelings hurt and they’re being jealous and catty.”

“Gryffindors?” Lily asked.

“Course not!” Alana answered. “Ravenclaws mostly, but a few Hufflepuffs if you can believe it – Whitney Blake’s bunch. They’re not doing themselves any favors. Sirius Black is chasing her skirt and if _he_ finds out about it, it’s bound to come back to James who’s behind it…”

“Merlin, I hope not,” Katie groaned.

“Why?!” Alana asked. “It’s no less than they deserve!”

“I don’t know. It’s not going to make it any better. James was already prepared to hex someone into next week when we talked about it. I think it would just create more drama.”

“Already defending your honor…he’s adorable,” Marlene praised.

Katie blushed. “Is it wrong to feel good about that?”

“No way!” Marlene shouted.

“Good!” she smiled. “He was really great about it all around actually. I wasn’t going to bring it up until he forced me to tell him what was wrong. He really listened to me about it. He even apologized for it.”

“ _He_ apologized?” Alana asked, looking confused.

“Yeah…well…I feel a little bad about that part, but he was so insistent. He’s blamed himself for it. You know because of his whole history…” Katie trailed off.

Well, Lily thought to herself, James Potter is just _full_ of surprises this year.

Before the conversation about him went any further however, Katie mercifully ended it. “I think we’re boring Lily now…”

“Pssh,” Marlene scoffed. “She’s always staring off like that. Likely thinking about all the studying she’s _not_ doing right now,” she snarked, hoping to get a rise out of her friend.

“I was not thinking about class or books or anything of the sort,” Lily huffed.

“Well, what’s on your mind then? Anything special happen to you tonight?”

Lily groaned inwardly. Did she really want to open this can of worms? It was already getting late. And with Katie there as well…a girl she hardly knew?

Unfortunately for Lily, her friend could smell the scent of a withheld secret. “Mmm…something did happen…”

“It’s not a big deal…” Lily demurred.

“Then come on with it,” Alana insisted.

Lily sighed. “Lionel Baird asked me to Hogsmeade.”

“What did you say?”

“Yes.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes, I’ll go?”

“Lily that’s great!” Marlene and Alana enthused, crossing the room to give her a big hug.

“I’ve been saying since your first…” Alana paused, “…anyways, I’ve been saying forever that you needed a date! It’s about time!”

“Did you have any idea it was coming?” Marlene asked.

“Not at all. I mean we’re partners in Potions this year and we’ve obviously talked and gotten to know each other, but he definitely caught me off guard.”

“I’m happy for you Lily, but…ugh!” Alana grumbled. “You and Katie are both _so_ lucky. Two of Hogwarts’ hottest wizards…”

That topic having been brought up, Lily realized that any attempts to break away and pull the curtains would be a complete waste of effort. Easing her bag from her bed to the ground, she flopped down on her stomach and resolved to give her best effort to participating in a long conversation she had very little interest in for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter gives me some mixed feelings because I feel like my timeline for the middle of sixth year has gotten a bit more crunched than I would’ve liked. While not having a lot of development of Lionel and Lily’s dynamic was always part of the plan because I wanted his question to be a surprise she decided to roll with, I’m not entirely happy with how quickly it had to come on the heels of the start of James and Katie’s relationship. Still, after wrestling with it before undertaking this chapter, I think it’s most important that the timeline get crunched up here as opposed to later on, where the story will become a lot more complex in terms of the number of characters and plot lines there are to deal with. Hopefully in the long run, this won’t drive you crazy. At any rate, the next chapter should take us up to the release of students for the Christmas holiday and finally deliver on what must be starting to seem like empty promises to get the Marauders more involved in the story.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	14. The Perfect Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That's like...a total Slytherin move."

The December Hogsmeade weekend fell just two weeks before Christmas this year, a welcome last hurrah for the students before the frantic final week of preparation for mid-year examinations. As Lily awoke in her dormitory, she was pleased to find the ground covered by a smooth layer of snow. Although it was difficult to tell from her window in Gryffindor Tower, she was confident that at least several inches had been deposited on the grounds overnight. From the look of the sky, there could be more coming.

While the presence of new fallen snow lifted her spirits, crawling out of bed brought her no pleasure. Today was the day – Lionel Baird was taking her to Hogsmeade. Accepting his offer had initially been a spur of moment decision that could save her some trouble without actually hurting any feelings, but now it was a different kind of prison, feigning joy about seeing the strapping Gryffindor and hearing coos about his humble manner of asking. It was all a far cry from what she had become used to in fourth year, when her male classmates appeared to be discovering girls existed for the first time and certainly a welcome relief from James Potter’s incessant attempts to get a date during her fifth.

Rolling out of bed, Lily considered what she had to wear. It had been a long time since she had been on a date, let alone a proper one. Scanning her clothing briefly she realized that most of what she had with her would be either too plain or unsuitable. Though she was not the kind of girl to spend hours on her appearance before a date, she did do her best to look nice in whatever she wore. Lily scratched her head. If only she had delayed meeting up with Lionel until it was time to leave for the village…

Lily’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by something soft striking her in the back of the head from across the room. Sparing a moment to glare at Alana, who was presently wearing an impish grin, she picked up the ball of socks that had struck her and fired it back across the room.

“Trouble deciding what to wear for Lionel?” her friend teased, drawing out the young man’s name as she spoke.

“I really don’t have much,” Lily replied glumly.

“Pssh! I’ll help!” Alana scoffed, tossing her head back in the direction of a messy mop of blonde hair. “And if I can’t come up with something you like, then we’ll just have to find something to wake up Marlene over there.”

Together, the two girls began picking through Lily’s wardrobe. Alana grumbled to herself as she surveyed the options. “Merlin, Lily. Did you plan on even trying to get a date at all this term?”

“Wasn’t the top of my priority list, no,” she answered sharply.

“Well, you can hardly wear any of these skirts in this weather, even with tights. Your jeans are all too casual…”

“Incredible observations,” Lily replied, rolling her eyes. “You know if I’d known you’d be this much help, I might as well have asked a troll.”

“Don’t blame me for you not planning for this!” Alana protested. “Surely you could’ve brought yourself _one_ outfit in case you found at least _one_ worthy wizard…”

Ignoring her friend’s teasing, Lily reached for a pair of chocolate brown pants. “What about these?” she asked, holding them up.

“They have potential…” Alana noted. “Why don’t you go fix yourself up while I keep looking? If you’re nice, maybe I’ll share something of mine…”

Grabbing her shower bag, Lily trudged off to follow her friend’s advice.

Upon her return, she felt much better. Though time was running short, she had managed to wash up and get her make-up right. Despite the fact that she would be wearing pants, she had decided to shave her legs as well, reasoning that taking the extra measure might put her in a more date-like frame of mind.

“Morning, Lily!” Marlene shouted brightly as she entered their room again.

“Morning,” Lily answered quickly before approaching her wardrobe where the blonde seemed to be in conference with Alana.

“Well, it turns out you’re not _entirely_ hopeless,” Alana began, pulling out the chocolate colored pants she and Lily had looked at earlier. “I think these are the best you’ve got on the bottom, with that cream colored sweater, your riding boots, and your peacoat, I think you’ll look cute.”

“Sounds good to me,” Lily said, waving her friends away as she began to get dressed. “After all,” she continued, turning her head, “you _are_ the Queen of _Witch Weekly_.”

As she began to button the blouse she had decided to wear under the sweater, her comments were rewarded with another blow from behind, the aforementioned peacoat being the weapon of choice on this occasion.

* * *

After enjoying a genuinely nice breakfast with Lionel and making her way to the village with him, Lily found herself arm in arm with her companion on the main street. Her long red hair had been left down to provide her ears that tiny added shelter from the cold and the sunlight reflecting off the snow around them glinted off the silver necklace and simple earrings she had decided to wear. The street was filled with sounds of laughter and the students moved briskly from shop to shop, picking up candy, refreshments, and other items that struck their fancy.

Breaking from the idle chit-chat that had occupied their journey from the castle, Lionel announced that their first destination would be none other than Madame Puddifoot’s the tea shop and traditional stop for students making a couples visit to Hogsmeade. Lily acknowledged the plan with a smile and a nod, but inside her mind immediately whirred back to life from its temporary slumber. It struck her as an odd place to start the date and also seemed rather uninventive. Still, at least Lionel _had_ a plan, and one that he was confident in. It wasn’t as if any of this was actually going to last and the lovers’ vibe in there was certain to make things suitably awkward between them.

Entering the cramped shop before many other students had arrived they were able to take a seat close to one of the windows. Lily was pleased that Lionel avoided any of the tables in the corners. The plump, rather matronly proprietor quickly arrived to take their order. Ever the gentleman, Lionel gestured toward Lily to ensure that hers would be taken first.

“I suppose it’s not too late for Breakfast Tea?” Lily said.

“Of course not dear,” the woman answered, a Quick-Notes Quill scribbling abruptly onto a small pad.

“A coffee for me,” Lionel volunteered. “Black.”

After another short scribble, the quill and its owner departed the table to leave the two students in peace. 

“You take it black?” Lily asked, surprised.

“Learned from my parents,” Lionel shrugged. “I asked them the same thing though the first several times I tried it,” he laughed.

“I can barely stand any tea without _loads_ of sugar,” Lily said.

“Well, when I was young things were tough. Mum was basically a secretary at the Ministry and Dad…he cleaned up after hours. They told me they spent their money on me instead of cream and sugar.”

So that was where his humility came from. It was amazing to hear that the Bairds’ had gotten such a lowly start. “Isn’t your Mum a writer for the _Prophet_ now?” Lily asked. “And your Dad, he runs his own business right?”

Lionel laughed. “Yeah, funny how things change. Dad got really good at the whole cleaning thing so now the Ministry buys its cleaning supplies from him for when magic alone isn’t enough. Mum was always good with words. Had a nice boss once who left for the paper and took her with him. She started writing awhile later when some of the journos left.”

“That’s an impressive story. Especially the way things usually seem to work in the magical world.”

“I suppose. I just hope I can do them proud one day.” Lionel paused. “Anyway, what do your Mum and Dad do?”

“Well, Mum stayed home to raise me and my sister. I really don’t know what she’ll do when we finally graduate. Dad works at a factory. He’s one of the managers there…logistics.”

“Sorry?” Lionel looked completely puzzled.

Lily looked down, slightly embarrassed at her oversight. Even after all this time, she still forgot that some Muggle careers didn’t exist for witches and wizards – especially where what could loosely be called shipping happened with a well-trained sense of geography or a set of portkeys. “Right. Well…he basically makes sure things get made and delivered on time.”

“Sounds like it involves a lot of numbers. I try to steer clear…” Lionel admitted. “Sounds important though…” he offered uncertainly.

Lily chuckled. “Yes, well…I’m sure Dad’s bosses think so. They call him in with everyone else any time the place goes down just to get his estimate on the cost of delays. He’s able to take care of us well. But between you and me…I think it’s dreadful.”

Madame Puddifoot returned to set down their drinks. “Anything else dears?”

Both Lionel and Lily started to speak up at the same time, briefly sharing nervous laughter. When they made no move to actually answer, the lady walked away shaking her head. “Take that as a no then.”

As they raised their heads, Lionel watched Lily as she smiled in the moment, brushing her hair back behind her ears. He caught better sight of her earrings and watched as the sun illuminated her cheeks. They had a slight rosy hue from where she had applied her make-up. The sight of her took him to a far off place.

“Ahem,” Lily cleared her throat.

Lionel instantly returned to the table. “You’ve caught me,” he said, looking downward.

“Have I?” Lily asked, her eyes light with amusement.

“I’m sorry. I ought not stare…it’s just…you look beautiful today.”

“Thank you, Lionel!” Lily said earnestly. “You know, I didn’t have much to wear this morning…I wasn’t sure…”

“I wasn’t talking about your clothes, Lily…” Lionel chuckled.

Lily blushed, but stayed silent.

From that point on, Lionel stuck to safer topics.

* * *

As their date wound to a close, Lily allowed Lionel to lead her back toward the castle. She was frustrated. Lionel had been the perfect gentleman all day long, offering her his scarf when a breeze kicked up, even giving in to her request to spend some time in Tomes and Scrolls, the local bookshop – her bait to get him annoyed or impatient with her. Even though she knew he didn’t share her love of books or passion for learning from being in classrooms with him all those years, he unfortunately managed to be quite the opposite – despite his disinterest. If she was perfectly honest, the experience was far different than expected. While she knew Lionel avoided overt bravado, she had secretly waited for arrogance to shine through in some way, as it tended to do with most of her schoolmates who fell on the attractive end of the bell curve. Having seen none whatsoever was actually refreshing. Almost too bad it had to end. Yet, Lionel gave no indication that he wanted to carry things beyond the visit to the village and before she knew it, they had parted in the Gryffindor common room without addressing the issue. Lucky.

Wandering upstairs to check on her friends, Lily found them waiting with some cacophony blaring from Alana’s record player. Opening the door to their room. Marlene and Alana were both…well, it could best be described as flailing around. Without interrupting her jerky attempts at dancing, Marlene half-spun over toward Lily and grabbed her by the arm.

“Dance with us!” Alana called out. “We’ve got the new album by Spellbound!”

With a resigned smile, Lily kicked off her shoes and dropped her coat. After shutting the door behind her, she started swiveling her arms and hips and bounced her way across the room. She felt a bit envious of her friends who’d swapped back into skirts as she watched them swishing back and forth while the two girls moved. Fortunately the song she’d walked in on changed soon after to something far more melodious and it was easy to get lost in the kind of fun they hadn’t had together since they were much younger and newer to Hogwarts. It felt good to rediscover that feeling after having to give much of it up over the years, first to O.W.L.s and the pressures of becoming a prefect and then to harder studies.

Half an hour later the album had ended and the girls flopped down together on Alana’s bed. Turning her head, Lily saw Marlene was red in the face. This change came so often whenever she wound down from physical exertion that it had become something of a running joke between the three friends – especially when it became particularly noticeable after they jogged the grounds.

“That…was fun,” Alana panted. “We should take a picture. See how Marlene looks now versus when she passes the DMLE fitness test.”

She was predictably socked, but Lily, who’d wound up in the middle grabbed her friends’ hands and squeezed. “We _should_ take a picture though. We haven’t done a fun one yet this year.”

Marlene laughed. “I guess the one Katie took for us post-quidditch was only fun for two of us.”

Lily scowled.

“Smile again before you ruin the shot!” Alana giggled as she grabbed her camera and blinded them all with the flash.

Lily blinked rapidly to let her eyes readjust before the flash fired again.

“We won’t be able to see the pictures if we’re blind,” Marlene said.

Alana scoffed. “You’ll be fine. Sourpuss. Anyway… _Lily_ still hasn’t shared about her day…”

“How did it go?” Marlene added, dragging herself up to a seated position.

“I’m not over the moon or anything, but it was nice, getting back out there,” she said. “He was kind, he was humble, he had everything planned out. Even things I was a little skeptical about at first turned out nicely.”

“Like?”

“Well, we started the morning at Madame Puddifoot’s…you know, I worried that maybe, starting there he had certain expectations of how things would go…but he must’ve known there’d be almost nobody there then because we were able to have a very nice conversation.”

“You always were partial to very nice conversations,” Alana ribbed.

“Conversation is important to me…” Lily replied. “Especially after…”

“Oh, Lily, I know,” she said sympathetically. “I wasn’t meaning to go down that road.”

Lily sighed. “I think it worked out nicely though. He didn’t ask to see me again and neither did I.”

“How is that ‘nicely’?” asked Marlene.

“What did he give you? A handshake?” Alana followed up.

“No, I mean we hugged.”

“Hugged how?” Marlene asked.

“It doesn’t matter. Nothing’s going to come of it and that’s just fine by me.”

“Wait…you didn’t actually want to go with him? You’re glad it didn’t work out?!”

“ _Really_ , Lily?”

“Yes, really. I don’t need a boyfriend and certainly not Lionel Baird. I don’t need the Katie Wallenby treatment. Or a rigid traditionalist.”

Alana shook her head. “That’s outside the box for you. It’s just downright…mean. What if he does ask again?”

“Yeah,” Marlene added, pausing before flashing her friend a devious grin. “You know, maybe your hug was just so overwhelming that he had to get away…rub one out, you know, and he just never–”

“You’re twisted! You know that?” Lily barked, flinging a pillow at her friend. “If he asks I turn him down. Cite a few awkward moments. No harm done.”

“God, you really believe that don’t you? You’d have hurt his feelings less if you’d just said no in the first place.” Alana asked. “It’s like…a total Slytherin move and–”

Her sentence was interrupted by a pillow to the face from Marlene. Before she could bark at her assailant however, Lily had pelted her in the other side of the face as well. Alana struck back, despite swinging both wildly and at the same time. As their dormitory dissolved into a furious pillow fight, the time to wait for dinner flew by.

* * *

When dinner finally did arrive, all the students present were greeted by the magnificent sight of an enormous Christmas tree located down and to the right of the staff table. A thriving green mass that stretched the height of the Great Hall, the tree had been carefully charmed to glow in all the right places, so that light perfectly illuminated every facet of the many ornaments and enlarged trinkets that had been carefully hung on its branches.

“There she is lads,” said Sirius quietly.

"I don’t think they’ve ever got one that big before,” Peter gaped.

“I think you’re right about that,” Sirius replied. “It’s perfect. Absolutely perfect.”

James grumbled. “Since when did a Christmas tree take your breath away, Padfoot?”

Sirius winked and smiled at James conspiratorially. “Since one became the main target of our best holiday prank _ever_ ,” he whispered loudly.

“Bloody hell, Padfoot,” James shot back. “I promised Katie _not_ to spend all my free nights in detention.”

“You and the girlfriend again! You know, I never expected Wallenby to be interfering in our pranks! She’s always seemed to enjoy them!”

“Katie’s not interfering you git,” James snapped.

“Well, if you’re not going to help me on this, she most certainly is! Where is she? Perhaps we need to have a word…”

“I don’t think so,” James said sharply. “I never said I wasn’t going to help. All I’m saying is we need to be extra careful.”

Looking up from his plate briefly, Remus fixed his bickering friends with a stare. “Calm down boys, unless you want this to be over before it’s begun…”

James thought for a moment. True, he had promised Katie he’d do his best to avoid detentions. Still, it had been some time since he had pulled off a grand one. While their exploits earlier in the term had sated him to a point, reflecting on it, he had to admit that Sirius had been right in the end. It was hardly their best work, and the lack of real consequences somehow put a bit of a damper on the sense of accomplishment. Besides, he reasoned, he and Katie didn’t have any concrete plans for next term yet. So long as they waited until just before the end of term and avoided a Hogsmeade ban…

James looked up and flashed Sirius the smirk his friend had not seen in quite some time. “Well, out with it then. What’s the plan?”

An enormous smile crossed his best friend’s face as he almost dragged James across the table into a hug. “Glad you asked, Prongs! I knew you’d finally come back around!”

From above his potatoes, Remus rolled his eyes and prepared for the worst.

“So,” Sirius began, keeping his voice to a hushed whisper, “the way I figure it, is we wait until the last possible moment. Reason one, we can’t get punished this term. Reason two, it gives us the biggest audience of all, at the end of term feast.”

“Excellent, I’m with you,” James whispered back, encouraging Sirius to continue.

“First thing is we liberate one of the carriages. Then we sneak it over to Hagrid’s, borrow a few of his pumpkins as well. Then we transfigure the lot into a sleigh and reindeer. Remus, you’re a hot hand at Charms…I figure you can charm the thing to fly through the halls…maybe make it sing some carols…”

“Assuming you keep it small enough to fit…” Remus warned.

“Of course, of course…keep it small. Then Pete, as it comes down toward the feast, you levitate me and James into the sleigh. We’ll have a bag full of some delightful exploding presents to shower on everyone and then make our getaway.”

“Levitate you into a moving…” Peter trailed off, deeply skeptical.

“Come on, you’ve levitated us both dozens of times for dungbomb drops!” Sirius answered.

“I’ll do my best,” the concerned boy replied.

“Sirius – mind if I add a bit?” James prodded.

“Add a bit? Mind? Of course not!”

“Well, first it just seems you’ve forgotten the tree–”

“Merlin, you’re right! I got caught up in the moment, Prongs!”

“Forget about it. I have the perfect thing though…it’ll be a surprise.”

“Do I even want to know what the rest is James?” Remus queried.

“Of course Remus…all I was going to suggest is that we replace the Slytherins’ presents with gigantic lumps of coal…”

“Gigantic lumps of coal?”

“Gigantic!” James said.

“And where would we get these lumps of coal?”

“Maybe some pebbles from the lake…I could transfigure them or just enlarge them and make them look black…”

Sirius looked expectantly at his best friend. “So James…you’re absolutely in?”

“One hundred percent. This. Is. Brilliant!” James exclaimed, failing to restrain his voice enough to avoid drawing attention.

“Sorry I’m a bit late, James,” Katie said, suddenly sitting next to her surprised boyfriend. “I was working hard on that essay we were set in Herbology. What’s so brilliant?”

“Err…” James stalled.

Katie gave James a deeply questioning look. “James Potter…” she warned. “What are you up to?”

As James watched her scrutinize him with that suspicious gaze, he recognized the crossroads he had been at many times before. Somehow it was always the same. He could lie or tell the truth. There was no time to ask permission from his friends to share the kind of plan they had always agreed should stay secret. But there was no way to escape her question either. He could tell the truth, and risk the ire or ridicule of his friends, and the possible failure of their plan before it got started. Or he could tell a lie, a lie that had become incredibly easy in exactly this situation because he had told it _so_ many times before. A lie that would be the beginning of an erosion of trust between he and his girlfriend when the prank happened. And a lie that would be a betrayal of the low-detention promise he’d made her. James looked at Sirius with a hard look and saw his friend’s eyes widen as he realized what James was about to do.

“James?” Katie asked again.

“We were just planning an absolutely amazing holiday prank,” James said confidently.

Across the table, Remus looked up again to survey the situation, while Peter’s eyes bulged as he made a muffled coughing sound from almost choking on his food.

Katie eyed James warily. “And by ‘absolutely amazing’ do you mean ridiculously insane and incredibly likely to get you sentenced to boatloads of detentions?”

“Both?” James offered with a tepid smile.

“After you specifically told me you were going to try to _avoid_ getting boatloads of detentions?”

“Right…and I absolutely am going to _try_ to do that. I’m not sure how possible it will be this time–”

James was interrupted by Katie’s laugh.

“You’re not angry?” James asked in disbelief.

“ _Angry_?” she asked, incredulous. “Merlin, James! I always expected I’d lose you to some detentions. It’s kind of your thing…”

Relief washed over James like a wave. “And here I thought entertainment was my thing…”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Katie said, rolling her eyes.

“You know what else is brilliant?” James asked loudly, several surrounding groups turning to look at him. “My girlfriend, Katie Wallenby!”

Katie blushed. She felt James lean in and plant a kiss on the side of her face.

“You really are brilliant,” he whispered in her ear.

“And you _so_ owe me,” Katie whispered back.

When Professor McGonagall sentenced all four boys to two hours of detention a night for first three weeks of the following term, James found out just how much extra time he would owe his girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter will mark the beginning of some much sought after and a too-long delayed look at Lily. I had also initially planned this chapter to feature the holiday prank actually taking place (I had even named it accordingly), but since the Marauders have felt underdeveloped to me for quite some time, I thought it might be wisest to explore their personalities as well as where they are right now. To that end, I cut that portion and had the prank be explained in the context of their planning it. I ended up happy with how it came out because it also ended up providing an opportunity for James to continue growing up while still pulling pranks (which I don’t think ever realistically leaves his character).
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	15. Parental Controls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had nowhere to go, but he would at least try the one place he thought might have him.

When she finally got home for the holidays, Lily was greeted warmly by her parents on the front step. Her dad gave her his usual tight hug and kiss on the cheek before carting her trunk upstairs, while her mom ushered her inside for a cup of hot cocoa to warm up. Though it had become predictable by now, Lily was still disappointed that Petunia didn’t bother to come down or even offer a greeting through her closed bedroom door. As she emptied her belongings back into her night table and wardrobe, the young witch sighed deeply. The term at Hogwarts had not ended exactly as she had wanted. Exams were fine, as always, and she had not had much contact at all with Lionel outside the classroom. As a prefect though, they’d pressed her into service to help handle the aftermath of her four housemates’ latest escapade. Remus had to take part as well, but it was cold comfort. She had to admit that she was at least impressed with the magic and even the holiday spirit behind their efforts, but the explosive affair still left her irritated. It was as if they had no regard for those who would have to pick up the pieces.

Having finished unpacking her essentials, Lily flopped down on her own bed. She was not particularly looking forward to another holiday at home. This year she would be without any escape in the form of visits with Severus and while her parents were as loving as always, it was impossible to avoid the tension between her and her sister who had come home from typing school to ignore her some more.

Before her mind could wander too far down that trail, Lily heard Petunia’s door burst open and her sister run down the stairs giggling. Leaning up to peer outside, Lily noticed a chubby young man approaching the house. She moaned. Petunia was still seeing him. As far as Lily was concerned, her sister’s boyfriend Vernon Dursley was a miserable, self-important git. In many ways he was even worse than Potter. Where Potter could at least rest his arrogance on a not-inconsiderable array of talents, Vernon’s was entirely unjustified. The boy’s only path forward as far as she could tell would be riding his father’s coattails at their family’s company. Lily’s mood darkened further when she heard her parents calling her to come downstairs. It was her first night home and already she was being forced into an entirely unwanted social occasion. Dragging herself off the top of her soft comforter, Lily smoothed her skirt, opened her bedroom door and trudged downward, plastering a smile on her face.

At the Black residence, Sirius was faring far worse. Word of his antics and their anti-Slytherin element had quickly reached home and he was currently locked in his father’s study, days before Christmas being berated for all at Grimmauld Place to hear.

“I am _finished_ with these children’s games!” his father, Orion bellowed. “First you disgrace our family name by being sorted into that cesspool, sharing the same House with mudbloods – the first Black not in Slytherin in _generations_ – and then you fall in with that pack of ne’er-do-wells! Inhibiting your place in our society with a disciplinary record as long as some of the bottom-feeders in Azkaban!”

“Tell me father, what is my place in our society?” Sirius answered sarcastically.

“Don’t take an attitude with me boy or you’ll find yourself–”

“Suppose you’d be happy if I cast a few more dark curses? Acted the perfect little pureblood like Bellatrix and Narcissa?”

“How dare you interrupt me, you insolent brat!” Orion roared, rounding his desk.

Sirius braced for what he knew was coming. Sure enough, moments later the sixteen year-old tasted blood as his father’s closed fist smashed into his jaw. He fell to the floor, reeling in pain. He cried out as his father kicked him hard in the ribs. Sirius winced as he drew in another breath, springing away and drawing his wand.

Orion Black’s wand was already waiting. An evil smirk crossed his face. “You’ve finally done it,” he growled. “Didn’t think you had the spine boy. Drawing your wand on me in my own home.”

“You’re not fit to carry a wand,” Sirius spat.

His father exploded, unleashing a torrent of curses at his son. Sirius, being an accomplished duelist for his age was able to parry some of the attacks, but others grazed him, producing cuts or burns. Finally, given his growing injuries, Sirius was worn down. As his wand dropped, his father blasted him into the wall with a stunning spell. Orion Black glowered down over his son. Sirius saw no regret, no sadness in his dark eyes. No, he realized as he groaned in pain, his father’s eyes were alight only with contempt and the glint of triumph.

“I’ve carried your ungrateful, worthless, piece of rubbish through life for long enough, you little worm,” Orion sneered. “Get _out_ of my house!” he roared, grabbing Sirius by the collar and tossing him from the study. “Take that filth from your room with you! If you’re not gone in five minutes, you’ll get worse than this!”

Sirius hauled himself off the floor quickly and hobbled upstairs to his bedroom as he heard his father join his mother and brother in the kitchen for dinner. Though he understood why his brother stayed still and silent, it didn’t hurt any less that Regulus refused to even say goodbye.

But he had to hurry. Sirius had no doubt his father was prepared to make good on his earlier threat and he realized how lucky he was not to have unpacked. His trunk was untouched and his other belongings, aside from his room’s few decorations and his broomstick, were still hidden in his worn out leather satchel by an undetectable extension charm. For a moment he considered undoing the sticking charms he had cast on his Gryffindor decorations and taking them with him, but thinking it would infuriate his father further, he smiled bitterly as he reinforced them. With a minute to spare, Sirius slammed the front door of his childhood home behind him and headed for the nearest stop he knew for the Knight Bus. He would _never_ come back to this place he resolved. _Never_. What happened was sobering though as he stood in the rain – rain he couldn’t simply spell away with muggles wandering the streets. He had nowhere to go, but he would at least try the one place he thought might have him.

Lily sat politely next to her sister at dinner. Petunia had certainly pulled out all the stops tonight. She had cooked the meal herself and was dressed sweetly in a light sundress that belied the season. She was wearing jewelry from head to wrist and her hair was tied back with a large ribbon. Inside, Lily was disgusted. It was almost impossible to believe her parents could stand for this – their own daughter so openly auditioning for the role of housewife to this pretentious, slug of a man. Sometimes they were loving and permissive to a fault.

“So Lily,” Vernon ventured, “how go your studies? Petunia tells me you aspire to be a secretary as well.”

Lily shot daggers at her sister. A _secretary_? For the sake of her family she quickly composed herself. “Wonderful, thank you for asking. I just hope I can learn to cook as well as Petunia one day,” she said, forcing her words to drip with sweetness. “Then if I’m lucky I might not have to work after all.”

“Ahh!” Vernon smiled, scanning her with his beady, lecherous eyes. “Quite right, quite right. I’m sure Petunia doesn’t mind me complimenting her sister, but you _are_ quite fetching yourself. It’s nice to see someone who thinks as clearly about her role as you do these days. I’ve always shared my father’s view that while work is all well and good, a woman’s place is in the home.”

“Well,” Catherine started, “I just want my two precious daughters to be happy.” She touched Lily gently, supporting her with a knowing glance. “I enjoyed staying home to raise them, though I can understand that some don’t see themselves dedicating all their talents to that.”

“Certainly, certainly,” Vernon said diplomatically.

Having quickly finished the last of her food, Lily thought it best to make a hasty exit before her temper got the best of her. She could only keep up this façade for so long. “May I be excused?” she asked nicely, turning to her parents.

“Whatever for, dear?” her father asked. “We were just about to head to the living room.”

“There’s a letter that I absolutely must write tonight,” Lily persisted.

“Ooh…are you writing to a _boy_?” Petunia asked, seeming for the first time that night to be genuinely interested in something her sister had said.

“No,” Lily said flatly. “Just Marlene and Alana, but I did _promise_ I’d write as soon as I got home. You know Alana’s family is going to Alps this holiday and if I don’t get my letter to them soon, she might not receive it at all,” she lied.

Scrutinizing his daughter for a moment, John Evans raised his head and waved permission. “Very well then. I suppose we’ll be able to entertain ourselves for a while. Go on. Though I do expect you back down here shortly.”

“Of course, Dad.”

It had taken all Lily’s remaining restraint not to sprint upstairs to get away from them. Her sister and her boyfriend were both fortunate she had not slapped them across the face. “A bloody secretary,” she huffed to herself. “ ‘A woman’s place is in the home’. Place I’d like to be is dumping him in a hole in the ground,” she grumbled darkly.

As she entered her room, she was surprised to hear a faint tapping on her window. A proud dark-colored owl she didn’t recognize was waiting with what appeared to be both a message and a small package tied to its leg. Gently, Lily removed both and fed the bird some bread crumbs out of a bag in her desk. Across the room her own owl, Frederick, hooted in dissent. “Quiet,” Lily shushed him. “You’ll get yours when I’ve got something for you to deliver.”

Setting the small box aside for the moment, Lily opened the roll of parchment that accompanied it.

_Lily,_

_First, I want to apologize for not being able to spend more time with you after our wonderful trip to Hogsmeade. As you’ve probably figured out well enough from Potions, I’m not quite the student you are, so I had to spend most of my time holed up studying. I don’t do so well in the library – too many distractions – and that would’ve been doubly true with you there. I’m kicking myself for not asking you to at least have a meal or two with me before the end of term, but the moment never felt right and I wasn’t sure how you’d react after I neglected you. I do hope you’re not sore at me for that._

_Still, I’d kick myself even worse if I didn’t reach out to you now. I’ve been thinking about you a lot the last couple of weeks and virtually the whole ride back on the Express. I know it’s the holidays and I’m probably interrupting precious time spent with your family, but I wanted to know if, when we get back, you’d consider seeing me again. I realize I’ve gone about it all wrong, but maybe we could take some meals together and if all goes well, visit Hogsmeade again that last weekend of January?_

_Whatever you decide, keep the gift I’ve sent along with this letter. I got it for you at Tomes and Scrolls when you were absorbed in that book about magical artifacts. I hope you like it._

_Have a happy Christmas Lily. I hope to hear from you soon._

_Lionel_

Turning immediately to the simply wrapped box, Lily tore it open to find something silver that resembled a smaller version of a Muggle money clip. Both sides had a simple pattern in the metal and ended with a rounded point. Puzzled, Lily noticed more of Lionel’s writing scrawled on the underside of the box’s lid.

_It’s a bookmark. I noticed from your necklace you seem to prefer silver._

An interesting object for Tomes and Scrolls to be selling she thought. It didn’t appear to have any magical properties at all, though Lily was fond of the pointed end, which she realized could mark the exact line where she had left off when she slipped it over the page. Grabbing the nearest book, she decided to try it. To her surprise, it the bookmark did not merely mark the line where she had left off, but a charm actually illuminated and magnified it. Convenient for one of her favorite times to read too! With that handy charm she could read in bed easily, even in the dark. Lily smiled at Lionel’s thoughtfulness. It was only a shame she’d have to send it back.

_Lionel,_

_Thank you so much for the bookmark. It was really thoughtful of you and seemed like it would work in the best way possible for me. Still, you’ll see that it’s come back with this letter. I had a good time in Hogsmeade with you. I wasn’t sure when we started at Madame Puddifoot’s, but we did. But I just don’t see myself in a relationship right now. It’s not you. It wasn’t Hogsmeade. It just didn’t feel right when I read your letter, the idea of being in a relationship with anyone at the moment._

_I know this isn’t the answer you were hoping for and I know, at least right now, it’s probably ruining your holiday, but I wanted to be honest with you rather than leave the door open to anything._

_I hope you understand._

_Lily_

Finishing her signature with a flourish, Lily rolled the parchment and re-wrapped the gift. Giving the owl some of the bread crumbs he had been demanding earlier, she opened her window and set him off into the night to deliver her reply.

Back at the Potter estate in Stroud, James was sullenly pacing in his room. His parents, thrilled to have their only child home again, had flatly insisted that he remain in their company the entire evening. Now it was far too late to owl Katie, which meant they probably wouldn’t be able to meet until Christmas Eve at the earliest, perhaps until after the holiday, depending on her family’s tradition. Even more bothersome was that given his conversation earlier in the year with his father about Lily, he was reluctant to admit that he was writing let alone seeing another girl right off the bat. While he appreciated his father’s words of advice, none more so than the advice he had gotten at the beginning of the school year, he did not want to start his holiday with more. At best he would be second-guessed or needled by him and then subjected to the inevitable hen-pecking by his mother, seeking every detail about the new girl in her son’s life.

James’s pacing ended abruptly when he heard a pounding on the front door downstairs. Bolting down the staircase to ensure he reached it before Tinka, James was shocked to see his best friend standing on the doorstep. He flung it open immediately and embraced him with a hug.

Sirius flinched and groaned in pain. “ ‘ello Prongs,” he grunted.

This prompted James to take a closer look at his friend. Sirius was carrying only his satchel and his broomstick like usual. However, James could immediately see that his clothes were tattered in places and looked scorched in others. Drawing Sirius inside where there was more light, he saw blood stains around some of the affected areas and a large bruise on his friend’s face. “Bloody hell!” he gasped. “What happened?”

Sirius dropped his belongings by the door and eased it shut. “My father,” he spat, “not a terribly long story…starts with another blood-traitor browbeating and ends like this,” he said dully, gesturing to his entire body.

“Your…your Dad did this to you?” James asked, incredulous.

“Yeah, well…he’s really something. Not the first time,” Sirius answered bitterly.

“But why didn’t–”

“Figured I could handle it…anyway, he finally kicked me out this time, so…”

“Bloody hell!” James repeated, taking in Sirius’s injuries again. “Let me get Mum and Dad. You’re staying here.”

As Sirius began to wait in the foyer, James beckoned him forward.

“Come on, come on,” he insisted. “Leave your stuff. Tinka can see to it. I’ll take you to Mum first so she can fix you up. We’ve got plenty of food in the kitchen too.”

“You really think your parents will let me stay?” asked Sirius, concern covering his face like James had never seen before.

“Absolutely,” James reassured him. “We’ll take you in, mate. Don’t you worry about that.”

Across town, on the outskirts of Cotswold Edge, Katie Wallenby had just finished unpacking her school trunk. Her mother and father were waiting for her in the kitchen with a freshly brewed pot of tea. Katie could smell the batch of homemade pumpkin pasties cooking in their small oven. Despite the cold weather outside, Katie cracked her window allowing the smell of winter on the countryside to surge into her nostrils. Hogwarts was beautiful too and she loved it. But this was home. Quickly chilled by a sudden gust of wind, she shut and latched the window once more. Looking around at her simple bedroom, Katie inhaled deeply. She had been avoiding an extended conversation with her mother all day, in hopes that she might put off her biggest news of the term until both her parents were home and in better spirits. Opening the door, she released the breath she had been holding through her mouth and approached the table.

“Well! Our wonderful daughter _finally_ emerges,” Mary Wallenby said exasperatedly. “Did you know Roger, that I’ve been trying to get this girl of ours to talk to me about more than classes and quidditch all day long and I haven’t managed it?”

“Katie!” gasped her father, feigning shock. “I wouldn’t want your poor mother to have to endure such treatment again. Sit down and join us! What’s really new?”

“Not much,” she began, looking down at the table. “I really don’t know what Mum is going on about. We’ve talked plenty, it’s just been all the usual things.”

“Katherine Elizabeth Wallenby! I can tell when my daughter is holding back something back from me! You’ve been slinking around here all day, trying to stay busy with this or that, being oddly more helpful than normal–”

“The signs of a secret if I’ve ever heard them…”

Katie again looked away, this time at the oven, hoping to be spared by the arrival of the pasties. Katie sighed. She supposed there was no reason in waiting. “Well…I suppose there is one thing I didn’t share–”

“I knew it!” her mother exclaimed gleefully. “You see, Roger? I know these things about my daughter…”

“I’ve never doubted you darling,” Katie’s father replied before giving her a kiss. “What is it then? Don’t hold us in suspense.”

Looking her parents in the eye in turn from across the table, Katie released the news she had been holding in since she returned that afternoon. “I’ve started seeing someone.”

“Oh! Now that’s wonderful sweetheart! Why would you hide that?” her mother asked, gently swatting Katie’s arm.

“You know perfectly well, Mary!” Katie’s father shouted. “Katie, we had this conversation when your grades started slipping last year. You need to be focusing on school.”

“I _am_ focusing on school,” Katie defended.

“Obviously not if you’re spending your hours with this boy–”

“Oh darling, who is it?” interrupted her mother.

Katie smiled brightly. “It’s James Potter. You know from across–”

“Of course we know about him,” her father broke in. “All the parents do, especially those of us with girls to protect. He’s a wolf! And a walking detention on top of it!”

“He is _not_ a wolf! He treats me very nicely! Giving me flowers…teaching me to fly better…taking me to Hogsmeade…”

“Regardless. We agreed Katie.”

“We agreed I’d focus on school! Which I did! I got all the marks I needed on my O.W.L.s last year. And I’m still doing just the same as before.”

“It’s not a good idea. Absolutely not. I forbid it.”

“What?!” Katie exploded.

“Now, Roger…dear…be reasonable…” her mother prompted.

“I am being perfectly reasonable. These are N.E.W.T.-level classes now, not just basics…”

“This is _so_ absurd! I’m studying more this year than ever before, even with seeing James!”

“I think I’ve made my feelings about this clear now,” her father warned.

“You’re being completely unfair!” Katie yelled. “James wouldn’t let me muck up my classes. He’s practically top of our class, even being Quidditch Captain!” She crossed her arms, fuming.

“Roger…let’s consider this,” her mother implored once more. “Now it’s just not right to force her to stop seeing the boy. We’ve got no idea…not firsthand–”

Roger Wallenby let loose a loud harrumph. “I don’t like this, Katie. I don’t like this boy’s reputation. I don’t like the idea he might hurt your studies…or worse.” He paused, having been elbowed by his wife. “Still…I suppose you are a bit older now…when do you get your results from last term?”

“Not until after the new year!”

“And I suppose you want to see this boy before then?”

“Of course! It’s the holidays! We’ve not gotten to spend a lot of time together recently what with classes finishing up and examinations. And he lives right across town…”

“Fine,” he relented.

Katie loosened her crossed arms and let a bit of her frown ebb away.

“ _But_ I don’t want you seeing him until _after_ Christmas. Do you have assignments for next term?”

“Some…I mean, a good bit of reading…McGonagall set us a short essay.”

“Then I want to see you working on it. And I want your mother looking over it before you make any plans. We’ll talk about next term after your results arrive.”

Across the table, Katie still smoldered. She couldn’t believe her father. She had slipped up once. _Once_ –over a year ago and gotten a note sent home about her performance in Potions and he still couldn’t forget it. It wasn’t even because of dating! She had broken up with that lazy git a month before and had been spending time helping Marie through a nasty breakup. Katie especially resented her father’s implication that if her marks didn’t satisfy him, he would try to stop her seeing James. Still, she realized this offer was probably better than the alternative. Her father could be incredibly stubborn, which would almost certainly mean not seeing her boyfriend at all, at the very least until her results arrived. By then it would be almost time for the start of next term.

“Fine,” Katie groused, pushing herself back from the table to go owl James the news. Across the room, the signal came that the pasties had finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First off, sorry for the delay. You WILL get another chapter as scheduled tomorrow, but the next two weeks promise to be nothing but hell at work. 
> 
> In case you thought I was going to blaze through the holidays…not so. Despite it being a relatively short period, I am planning on having at least one, perhaps two more chapters to deal with this period that will set up some important aspects of the story for later. As a forecast, the return to school will focus more on the Marauders, Snape, James/Katie, and James and Lily’s POVs on one another. Hopefully things should move comparatively quickly during second term, at least until we arrive at the next major shift in the story. No promises it will actually pan out that way, but that is the vision right now.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	16. In the Dead of Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wands drawn, they entered and began their work.

The early morning of December 27th was a cold and blustery one in the town of Abingdon-on-Thames. Heavy cloud cover obscured the moon and stars and the downtown streetlamps seemed to glow more timidly than usual against the pitch black of night. Snow was falling heavily, making any kind of travel perilous.

Despite the conditions, three hooded figures wearing black cloaks strode confidently out from behind a tall hedgerow and onto a quiet residential street. The trio moved carefully down the right side of the street, their footfalls muffled by the few inches of white powder that had already accumulated overnight. As they approached the end of the street, they paused in front of a small brick home. The dwelling was in good repair and its yard was surrounded by a perfectly-painted white picket fence. A holiday wreath graced the front door, its bright red ribbon a striking contrast to the black of the door on which it hung.

“This the place?” one of the figures whispered gruffly.

“Has to be,” a second replied.

“Exactly as he described it…” the third, a female voice, said in wonder. “Hard to believe he’s never set foot here.”

“Pried it from a memory,” the second speaker, a trim wizard in his thirties, chuckled.

“Quiet!” the first hissed. “Time to move.”

Their brief conference ended, the trio advanced, pausing only to gently open the small gate separating the yard from the sidewalk. The original speaker, a middle-aged wizard with a beard as black as the night itself, moved to slip along the side of the house, indicating to the others to enter through the wreathed door out front. The tall, spindly witch was the first to draw her wand, quietly casting the unlocking charm to gain access to the residence. Carefully she and her companion entered the house as the other wizard made his way around to locate the back door.

Reaching it, the older wizard slipped his own wand from within his robes and unlocked it. While the others had the more pleasurable task this evening, his was the more difficult. He began carefully searching the lower floor of the house for Muggle valuables. It was of vital importance that as many of these as possible go missing. Having worked in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement for the past seventeen years he knew the value in disguising the motive behind what they were about to do. Without Aurors to help them uncover the magical traces their actions would leave behind, it would be only too easy for foolish Muggles who came upon the scene to draw the wrong conclusion.

Upstairs the witch and wizard scanned the bedrooms. The first belonged to a Muggle child of sixteen who was sleeping soundly in a bed against the wall. The pair cast a sticking charm on the door before shutting it and moving on. Next, they encountered another child’s room. The boy sleeping within appeared to be approximately fourteen, but his décor was far different. On his closet door hung a pair of discarded Hogwarts robes, a yellow and black tie had been cast aside on the small desk, laying across a pile of spellbooks. On the wall over his bed a Hufflepuff banner hung proudly. Sneering, the witch and wizard repeated the process from the first bedroom. The mudblood would be too inept in his young age to overcome it. Finally, the pair came upon the home’s master bedroom. Staring within they noted a Muggle man and wife sleeping, the woman with her head nestled upon her husband’s chest comfortably. Wands drawn, they entered and began their work.

As he moved through the living room, scanning the well-decorated Christmas tree and still-hung stockings, the middle-aged wizard heard the first muffled cry. The woman’s. He was irritated. Despite their useless state, Muggle men were generally more dangerous, possessing the brute strength, if they acted quickly enough, to disarm a witch or wizard by force. The man should’ve been slain first. Still he noted, his partners were not without flair. From what he could tell they had awakened the husband. The fool was pathetically pleading for the lives of himself and his children. Cruel laughter came down the stairwell before his life ended in a muffled scream. Footsteps indicated his companions had moved on to deal with the children.

The wizard completed his job downstairs by carefully breaking the lock on the back door of the home so the Muggles sent to investigate might consider it a burglary gone wrong. As he ascended the staircase, he was hopeful. They were toying with the Muggle child as his mudblood brother awakened, trying desperately to make his way past his own stuck door. Sadly, he reached the top of the stairs just too late to see the brothers’ lives ended. Encountering the scene, he raised an eyebrow. The fallen Hufflepuff had blasted his door from its hinges. Still, it had done nothing but bring him more quickly to his own end. His eyes vacant, his body now lay slashed open in the hall, blood staining the wall and carpet.

“The others are similar?” he asked simply.

“As you said,” the witch replied. “To look like Muggle weapons.”

“Shall we cast the Mark?” asked the third.

“Of course not you fool!” the man exclaimed. “The Aurors will come for this one, yes. But the movement is still growing. We cannot give away our involvement in all these incidents. It tells the enemy too much about our numbers. Besides, unfriendly wizards have killed Muggles and their spawn for simpler reasons throughout our time…”

Motioning to the stairway, he led his companions out the front door and into the cold night. The neighboring houses remained dark and the air remained silent. With a series of soft pops, they disapparated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Very short here and with a purpose. I felt it was time to address the growing darkness in the world outside Hogwarts. To ignore that, seems to me to ignore something important about not just the time the characters were living in, but also values and positions that become very important to their development. While it will not immediately become a focus of the story, it will continue to be addressed throughout and will grow in importance to the plot over time. I also decided to make at least the first foray into this area be through the eyes of the perpetrators so we could see the depth of their callous disregard for lives they see as worthless firsthand. Next chapter will be brighter.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	17. Cleaning the Slate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Maybe sometimes I'm a coward'...'Yeah, maybe you are.'

Lily gazed upward at the stars glittering over the Irish Sea. The moon was still low in the sky, but the air was bitterly cold and Lily rubbed her gloved hands together quickly before lowering her scarf briefly to breath hot air into them. The family had made its annual pilgrimage from their home in Cokeworth to Blackpool’s Central Pier to take part in the festivities surrounding the arrival of another new year. It would be 1977 in several hours. Then just shy of a month later, she would be seventeen. While their parents were intent on forcing familial interaction, Lily could not help but reflect sadly on how much had changed over the years.

Despite only being four at the time, she could fondly remember the year the family started the tradition. Her father had somehow managed to balance both she and Petunia on her shoulders. The girls had been giggling non-stop, enjoying the happy atmosphere. Now, such shared happiness seemed impossible to imagine. Petunia only came home from typing school in London for Christmas and New Year’s and the bitterness and tension that had festered between them for so long only seemed to have deepened. Right now, the older girl was walking about pouting that her parents had not allowed her to bring her precious slug of a boyfriend on _their_ trip. She was almost nineteen for God’s sake.

Suddenly, Lily felt a tap on her right shoulder. Spinning around, she saw the closely-cropped brown hair and chiseled jaw of Lionel Baird.

“I thought it was you,” Lionel said. “I got your letter. Didn’t think I’d be seeing you until school started again.”

Lily frowned. “I’m sorry, Lionel.”

“Me too.”

“Who’s this then?” her father asked, intrigued by the arrival of the male intruder.

“This is Lionel Baird,” she offered. “The one I told you was taking me to Hogsmeade.”

Lily could hear Petunia huff in the background.

“Pleased to meet you,” the elder Evans said, extending his hand toward Lionel for a handshake. “I’m John Evans and these two lovely ladies are my wife Catherine and my older daughter, Petunia.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Lionel responded quietly.

“Well, I’m sure the two of you would like to catch up, but before I let her go, I’d like to have a word with my daughter in private.”

“You really don’t need to–”

“Nonsense,” said Mr. Evans, “we’ll just be a moment.”

Lily nodded before accompanying her father to where the rest of the family was standing several paces away.

“This is supposed to be family time, Lily,” her father began warningly. “I’ve already told your sister she couldn’t–”

“Dad!” Lily interrupted. “You know I wouldn’t do that. I honestly had no idea he’d be here. He doesn’t even live in this part of the country.”

“She still shouldn’t be able to spend time with him!” Petunia protested. “If I can’t see Vernon, why should Lily get to see _her_ boyfriend?”

“We went on _one_ date. And he’s not my boyfriend anyhow thank you very much.”

“Oh of course he’s not. Lily wouldn’t do _that_ ,” Petunia snarked.

“That’s enough from the both of you. I’m tired of the two of you being nasty toward each other. This is a family trip, Petunia. If you don’t have something nice to say – either of you – then keep your mouths shut. We’re _going_ to enjoy this tradition. Understood?”

“Okay,” both sisters said simultaneously, the first time they’d been on the same page in years.

“Lily,” he began, focusing intently on her, “I’m going to take you at your word that this is simply a classmate. Catch up and meet us at the usual spot.”

Petunia groaned loudly. “This isn’t fair, Daddy! Every time! I have to put up with all these restrictions and Lily just gets to do whatever she wants.”

“Enough, Petunia!” their father snapped.

“Don’t be cross, dear,” their mother soothed. “You and I can do a little shopping at the vendors. I’ll let you pick something nice out. I’ve seen some wonderful clothes and jewelry…perhaps there’s something Vernon might like to see you in…” she trailed off, sharing a look with her husband.

“Really?!” Petunia said excitedly. “I can pick something out?!”

“Certainly dear. Of course there are limits…”

“Let’s go!” Petunia shouted, dragging her mother toward the shopping area while turning her head to glare daggers at her sister.

“I’d best go keep watch,” her father noted. “Here. Half an hour.”

“But–” Lily tried to stop them, but they were off and she didn’t want to embarrass Lionel by shouting out about the situation. She hurried over to where Lionel was waiting. “I know you don’t want to catch up,” she said. “I’m sure you’re here with family or something too.”

“It’s dark,” he said. “I shouldn’t leave you out here alone wandering the pier.”

“Look, I can take care of myself.”

“We can talk, can’t we?” he asked.

A few minutes later, the pair were wandering past the game booths. It seemed that both the still-early hour and the cold had conspired to reduce the length of the normally massive lines. She was relieved that he wasn’t pushing things or trying to show off his muscles on one of those idiotic strongman games or whatever they were called. It was awkward – far more awkward than she’d hoped Hogsmeade would be – but they were still partners in Potions and an inability to cooperate wouldn’t exactly work well there.

“So. What’s on your mind?” she asked.

He turned to face her. “I just don’t understand, Lily. I know you don’t owe me any explanation and you didn’t plan on even seeing me here, but while we are here I guess I thought it was a chance to figure out what I messed up.”

Lily sighed. “Lionel, I told you that you didn’t mess anything up. You obviously put a lot of thought into it and it showed. It was a good time. But the idea of a relationship…it’s something I’ve wrestled with for a long time and I’m just not ready.”

“That’s rubbish,” he said, “you wouldn’t have gone if you weren’t at least a little interested…would you?”

“I…” how could she say this without lying? “I honestly didn’t think it would work out before we went. I know there were some things I did to make the trip awkward. And it was still fine, but I’m still not ready. I don’t know how I can make you understand. Sometimes I don’t understand…”

“So I was just a test? That’s really fu– that’s really messed up, Lily.”

She stared at the clear sky, ignoring his eyes. “I know it is.” He stared toward the lights where couples were laughing, kissing… “It is,” she said, finally meeting his eyes. “I should’ve just said no. But maybe I’m not the perfect Gryffindor all the time. Maybe sometimes I’m a coward.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Maybe you are.”

If it had stung to say it stung worse to hear without even the most tepid reassurance that she wasn’t. But she couldn’t go through that door again. “We still have to work together you know,” Lily ventured.

“You think I’d screw up my work because of this?” he asked, gesturing between them. “That I’d screw up _our_ work? I’m not an idiot. I was always going to ride you to a better mark. That’s why I picked you when I saw you and that creep weren’t partnered anymore.”

A part of her felt it was just anger on his part, but a part of her wondered if it was true. She’d known that he couldn’t have more than snuck into the class by more than the skin of his teeth. Using her would make sense. It wouldn’t be the first time. “You don’t mean that, she paused, “you’re too good for that.”

“Am I?” he said fiercely.

“Yeah. You are.”

Lionel took a deep breath and shook his head. “It’s class. It’ll be fine.”

Lily nodded. “Yeah.”

“I guess that’s it then,” Lionel said, turning to walk away.

Lily caught him by the shoulder before he went too far. “I really am sorry, Lionel.”

He stared at her, searching her face for more than a moment before nodding. “I know you are.”

Lily watched as Lionel disappeared into the growing crowd. Without anything tying her to him or any place in particular, she wondered what there was to do with the last – she checked her watch – fifteen minutes she had to spare. She wasn’t interested in getting back early. At best, she’d have to hang around waiting and at worst she’d have to deal with more of Petunia, whether it was more of her childish griping or smugness about Lily’s mood.

She’d definitely be in a mood. All the way back to their meeting point she re-hashed the Lionel situation in her head. She felt like shit. She _was_ shit. A coward? That felt right too. Doing what she’d done was a total Slytherin move and she’d gone through with it even against the advice of her friends. For what felt like the first time since she was a small child, she had been legitimately cruel.

Lily was standing stock still, looking at the sky when she heard her parents get back and detected Petunia’s aura. The family all held hands, her in the middle, as the fireworks exploded above them. Her mother and father pinched their youngest daughter between them as they kissed like so many others in the celebratory crowd. Even Petunia was cheering, in awe as always of the ongoing cracks, explosions, and fizzles that filled the sky. Lily found herself focusing on the smoke that was left behind – ugly remnants of the year gone by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter turned out to be a short one too which, unlike the last chapter, wasn’t really by design. Originally I had some all-around New Year’s plans, but in the end I decided to devote this to a little increase of self-awareness on Lily’s part. Lionel gives her a shock she didn’t plan on – she’s not always as smart as she thinks and not 'unfailingly kind' or selfless either. This may serve her well in future chapters. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	18. Three Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Sirius walked through the portrait hole, covered almost head to toe in dirt.

On their first night back at Hogwarts, James had reluctantly parted from his girlfriend to meet Sirius for the first of their newly assigned detentions. Meeting at the edge of the long row of greenhouses on the edge of the castle, they were greeted by Professor Pomona Sprout.

“Good evening, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black,” the short woman said curtly.

“Evening Professor. What breed of green terrors shall we help you with tonight?” Sirius asked with a smirk.

“Mr. Black, you are the last student I would trust to do any manner of tending – even to the simplest of specimens,” she retorted dryly. “I seem to recall your O.W.L.–”

“Yes, yes, too right, Professor,” Sirius cut in.

Professor Sprout scowled briefly at the interruption. “Anyway, the pair of you will be seeing to a necessary, but mundane task. Moving bags of soil from my storage area into each greenhouse.”

“I thought we were to work with you all week Professor,” James replied. “A bit of magic and I imagine we’d be done in two hours…easily,” he boasted.

“Yes well, Mr. Potter, I’m afraid Professor McGonagall was quite insistent that both of you surrender your wands prior to beginning. She mentioned something about Gryffindor needing a bit more strength on the quidditch pitch…”

“More strength?!” Sirius barked, incredulous.

“Regardless of the accuracy of her opinion, you’ll be moving the bags by yourselves. Come on. Wands to me and off with the robes,” Professor Sprout finished, reaching out her arms toward them.

An hour later, both boys found themselves drenched in sweat and covered in dirt.

“Eighteen kilograms a bag, Prongs!” Sirius exclaimed. “Eighteen! And we’ve got at least a hundred of the things left!”

“Let’s just get on with it, Padfoot,” James muttered, hefting another bag into the air and planting it on his shoulders before marching off to the farthest greenhouse from them. Upon his return, he noted that Sirius hadn’t moved an inch.

“Come on, James! A break! Merlin knows we deserve one!”

“Fine,” James groaned, leaning back against the pile of soil bags he was working on.

“So then…how’s things with Wallenby?”

“Excellent. Holidays went well. She got me a brilliant book on quidditch. It’s called _Terrorizing with Tactics_. It’ll be super once we start practicing again.”

Sirius glanced away. “Sounds good, Prongs.”

“You’re doubting me.”

“Just concerned.”

“Well you’ve got nothing to be concerned with,” James snapped.

“And that’s where we disagree, mate. We’re coming right up on three months–”

“And you think I’ll muck it up.”

“You do always seem to find a way out…”

“Sod off, Padfoot.”

“Right then. Just checking. I know how you get when these things take a turn.”

“How’s that?”

“Publicly moronic and privately morose. Makes you a real hell to be around.”

James whacked Sirius on the back of the head. “It’s not going that way this time,” he said firmly. “Now let’s get on with it before Sprout catches us you lazy git.”

While her boyfriend suffered through his detention, Katie was spending her evening in the common room trying to stay ahead of her Charms work. While her father had wound up extremely pleased with her mid-year marks, he had still yet to shy away from his threats of meddling in her relationship. Directing her wand at the middle circle in front of her, she uttered the incantation to change it from yellow to red. Nothing happened to the other circles.

“Practicing the Protean Charm?” a bright voice interrupted.

“Yeah…I seem to be failing miserably though,” Katie sighed.

“You know…I have the hang of it. I could help you if you want…” Lily offered, taking a seat in one of the armchairs across the table.

Katie remained quiet for a moment.

“It’s okay to need help you know,” the redhead ventured, leaning forward to look her housemate in the eyes.

“I hate it,” Katie said bitterly. “I don’t know. I’ve just never been much good with Charms. Or Defense.”

“Well…much as _I_ hate to admit it,” Lily started, “you could always ask James. Whatever else he gets up to he’s always pressing me at the top of the class. A bit more even this year actually,” she finished, cocking her head to the side and biting her lip.

Katie groaned. “James is the last one I need…”

“Oh…I’m sorry…I just assumed, given–”

“No, it’s fine. I just want to learn it myself. I don’t want to have James solving all my problems.”

“I can understand that. I like to do it all on my own too…most of the time. Still, are you sure you don’t want me to give you some tips?” Lily asked.

Katie’s took a deep breath as she let her tired shoulders droop. “I suppose time is running short,” she answered glumly. “I’d appreciate it.”

Two hours later, Lily and Katie hugged after the latter had successfully completed the exercise three times in a row.

“Thank you _so_ much!” Katie gushed. “I can’t believe it really all came down to those tiny details. That’s why I’m always having issues when things don’t come naturally. I never see that stuff.”

“It’s hard to see it in yourself. I get so focused sometimes too,” Lily admitted.

At that moment, James and Sirius walked in through the portrait hole, covered almost from head to toe in dirt. The girls immediately burst into laughter.

“Oi!” Sirius shouted. “Think it’s funny do you? I’ll barely be able to lift a bat at practice tomorrow!”

“A real tragedy,” Lily said sarcastically before making for the stairs. “I’ll leave that to you, Katie. Have a good night!”

“Thanks…” she replied with equal enthusiasm. “But honestly, I really appreciate your help tonight!”

“Any time,” Lily said, waving as she ascended the staircase.

“I’ve had it for tonight,” Sirius grumbled. “And we’ve got to do it all week! McGonagall’s gone mad! Absolutely mad!”

As Sirius exited the common room, Katie quickly found herself alone with James.

“Laughing at my suffering are you?” he asked.

Katie gave her boyfriend a full once over. “Well, you are a right mess. Couldn’t even be troubled to clean yourself up for me?” she asked, raising her wand to performing a cleansing spell.

Before she could, James surprised her with an enormous hug and a hard kiss on the mouth.

“Couldn’t let you miss out. After all, I learned this holiday how much more you like me after a bit of manual labor…” he smirked, placing his dirt-covered hands on both sides of her face and pulling Katie into what quickly became a series of kisses.

“Hey!” she shouted, pulling away in mock protest. “Just because we had a delightful snogging session after you helped my mum with the planting–”

“You look stunning with dirt on your cheeks,” James interrupted.

Katie smiled brightly, the light from the fireplace dancing across her freckles and illuminating some of the varied hues in her pale blue eyes. “Thanks?”

James straightened himself up in front of her. “Go on and set me straight,” he said, shutting his eyes.

Rolling hers, Katie cast a cleansing charm on James and then herself.

“So what were you and Evans up to?”

“Oh…she was just helping me with our assignment for Charms.”

“Well you know I would’ve helped you,” James insisted.

“I do,” Katie replied, looking down and slightly to the side. “It’s just…I think it was better she helped me. Sometimes around you I feel…pressure.”

“Pressure?”

“Sure. I mean…to keep up with you. I get nervous sometimes about it.”

“But why?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just want to keep impressing you…”

“You’ve already impressed me, Katie. And you don’t have anything to prove to me anyway,” James said.

“And I do know that. It’s just…sometimes I let my mind wander and…I don’t know.”

“Oh. Right,” James said coolly.

“James–”

“Don’t. Just don’t say it, Katie. You and Sirius, both in one night…” he grumbled, his face flashing with irritation.

“Don’t you get cross with me,” Katie shot back, her temper rising. “I’m just being honest with you.”

“Yeah, well, the last thing I need is you joining everybody else watching the clock,” James said hotly, his voice rising.

“It’s not just about _you_!” Katie shouted. “I believe you’re different. But sometimes when I’m in a weak moment, your past scares me. The last thing _I_ need is you getting upset with me when I admit I have negative feelings.”

As he watched Katie cross her arms and look away, James softened.

“Hey,” he said tentatively, reaching toward her.

She remained silent.

“Hey,” he repeated. “Don’t stop talking to me.”

Katie turned back toward him, her arms still crossed. “Are you going to bark at me?”

“I’m not,” he said solemnly. “I’m sorry…it’s just detention turned out to be a nightmare and Sirius had to go and bring it up…” James trailed off as he saw his girlfriend’s hands move to her hips, a put-out expression beginning to cross her face.

“Well, I accept your apology,” Katie started. “I don’t want to fight. I just…I know we’ve sort of talked about this before, but it’s hard for me. Before we dated, the only way people really knew me was from the quidditch stands. I was under the radar. It’s been an adjustment. All this.”

“And I want you to talk to me about all that. Like last time. We talked and it was better.”

“That was different. Those were mean things people said. They weren’t just my own feelings. I need to be able to talk to you about how I’m _feeling_.”

“And you can,” James insisted.

“I need to be able to do it without you getting bent out of shape or making it about you.”

James looked away.

“And you need to talk to me about how _you’re_ feeling,” she said firmly, turning his chin so their eyes met once more. “It was one thing I appreciated a lot when you listened to me before. You opened up a little. Shared something important with me. I wish you’d do that more.”

“Sounds like I have plenty to keep me occupied for _well_ over three months…” James offered.

Katie reached out and smacked him as one corner of her mouth crept into a smile. “Very clever. I can think of some other things too…” she teased.

James leaned forward to give her another kiss, but found his lips met her index finger instead.

“Not tonight,” she said. “Maybe after practice tomorrow if you behave yourself.”

James pouted, while Katie laughed.

“I guess this is good night then,” he started. “Forgive me for being a prat?”

“This time,” she giggled, adding a little extra sway to her hips as she walked away towards her dormitory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I figured it was about time for the honeymoon to wear off a bit and give James and Katie their first fight. Admittedly it’s fairly short-lived, but it raises some issues which will be important for the future of their relationship. While I wrote the chapter with that in mind, it also proved to be an opportunity to provide a little more detail on James’s past and Katie’s character. Next up should be some long-awaited James and Lily interaction, which will build throughout the second half of sixth year.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	19. Attacks and Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had to apologize to James Potter.

The next day, Lily and Marlene filed into the N.E.W.T.-level Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom buoyed by the knowledge that it was a dueling day. While all students looked forward to such class periods, the talented pair had been sparring partners since their first year and always relished an opportunity for another intense, if good-natured showdown. Over the years they had disarmed and sent each other flying across the room dozens of times since their first face-off, though by now both had developed enough skill and depth in their repertoires that they mostly canceled each other out. Still, the two witches gabbed gaily as they waited for Professor Osorio to arrive and let them at each other for the day.

The middle-aged wizard arrived shortly, his carefully tailored robes flowing gently behind him as he entered the room. As was always the case with the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, Federico Osorio was new this year, but he had quickly become a favorite of the witches at Hogwarts. Hailing from Italy, his jet black hair and olive complexion made quite the impression on both the girls and budding young women who were so used to seeing the more traditional British fare. Regardless of gender however, all the students seemed to appreciate his heavily practical approach and dramatic flair.

“I am tired of the complacency in this room!” he announced boldly upon reaching the front of the room. “There are some who would prefer I not speak of this, but how many of you have seen the papers?”

The students murmured amongst themselves, almost all raising their hands.

“Good! Then there is no excuse! It has not been so long since Gellert Grindelwald sowed similar evil on the entire continent. We now know why he did not focus his attentions so heavily on your land, but those of us who bore the brunt of his movement…we do not soon forget.”

Lily and Marlene shared a look. Scanning the classroom they could see many of their classmates doing the same, though Potter and his band of brothers seemed for once to be paying rapt attention.

“As you are all aware, today is another dueling day. I am tired of seeing the same spells. The same combinations. The same routines. In the real world, the witch or wizard you fight to the death may not be one you know so well. For this reason, I am re-assigning you–”

As the murmuring reached a fever pitch, the Italian raised his hands to silence them.

“I am re-assigning you,” he began again, “to new dueling partners. These new partners _will_ be suited to your level of skill, but they will also be suited to your weaknesses. Allow me to demonstrate! Mr. Potter! Miss Evans! To the front!”

A collective ‘ooh’ rose up from the crowd as the two approached their Professor.

“The first of these new sparring pairs. I am eager to see Miss Evans how your well-strategized flourishes handle Mr. Potter’s power and precision. Likewise Mr. Potter, I am interested to see if your invention can be a match for Miss Evans’s firm knowledge and peerless preparation. You will be before me today.”

Both students nodded, walking to opposite sides of the classroom as they waited for Professor Osorio to pair off their classmates in a similar fashion. After several minutes, the professor took a seat behind his desk at the front and bade his class to begin when ready.

Lily was the first to draw her wand, holding it only slightly in front of her chest, her other arm outstretched before her. She watched carefully as her opponent responded in kind, though he held his wand loosely at his stomach, bending slightly at the knees and waist. When it came time to bow, Lily did so dutifully. Potter on the other hand smiled widely before making a dramatic flourish.

As the duel began, Lily silently cast a shield charm, expecting Potter to strike quickly. For over a minute however, he did nothing. She watched him warily, eyes narrowed, but the most she could detect was the slight swaying of his upper body. The first minute quickly became two, then three as Lily held her shield and Potter’s torso continued to move ever so slightly in a subtly circular motion. As she began to lose patience, Lily stopped herself. She realized that Potter was baiting her. For some reason he _wanted_ her to attack him first. Lily thought quickly. For all his personal faults, Potter was a talented wizard. It had been naïve to think he wasn’t just as capable of non-verbal magic as she was, despite their ages. He must have detected her shield. Perhaps if she lowered it…

The time had come. The instant Evans dropped her shield, James was on her with a flurry of attacks, casting to disarm twice, followed by a stunning spell. Though she capably parried them, James was pleased to see her forced back a half step. However he was forced to respond quickly to a return onslaught. Casually, he swatted her minor spells away while closing some of the distance between them. Stepping forward again, James blocked two more, before aiming a stunner at her torso and a tripping jinx at her feet.

Lily parried the first with ease, but only noticed the second coming in low at the last moment, narrowly sending it harmlessly into the classroom floor. Potter had been clever closing the distance between them. While it reduced both their reaction times, it also cut her time to take a considered approach to the fight. Without realizing it, she had allowed Potter to force her into a predictable pattern of weak attacks from which he could easily press an advantage. The question was how to escape.

James quickly realized that Evans was onto him when she sent a powerful jet of water his way as her next attack. Sliding aside, he cast another tripping jinx low, which she again deflected. Sending more water his way followed by two stunning spells, she was pressing to equalize their positions again. This was not something James was prepared to allow. Ducking low, he used a shield to direct the spray of the water upward and outward, back in her direction. Cast without precision, the stunning spells flew harmlessly by and James closed the distance further, sending a flurry of attacks in her direction. This was the moment.

Lily barely had time to deflect each attack away and was quickly pressed back toward the classroom wall. Her weight now firmly on her back foot. Desperately she reached for something stronger, sending a swarm of ropes and chains in Potter’s direction. She noted the surprise in his eyes. It was her last chance and he’d have little time to deal with them. With two quick slashing motions, Potter dashed her hopes with finely executed severing charms and flicking his wand tip upward twice in a strange motion, she was dumbfounded as he seemed to produce only a simple stunner. In response, Lily cast a simple shield of her own. She was terribly surprised when the seemingly innocuous spell surged straight through and she quickly found herself flying toward the wall.

As he watched Evans fly backward, James’s first feeling was one of triumph, but they almost immediately faded into panic as he realized she was going to hit the wall. Aiming his wand at her, he bellowed. “ _Arresto momentum_!” It caught her in the nick of time, causing his sparring partner to slide a short distance on her bottom before her back gently touched the wall she had been hurtling toward.

Lily felt her face go red with both embarrassment and anger. Potter had bested her in Defense _again_. And he’d managed to look chivalrous in doing so, saving her from the wall. But more importantly, Potter had cheated. There was no other explanation. He _had_ to have used some impermissible spell to have breached her shield like that. In a moment she was off the ground and in his arrogant, smirking face.

“Potter! What are you playing at?”

“Rescuing you from a wall at the moment,” he said casually, ruffling his hair in that way she found so irritating.

“Like hell,” she roared, ignoring the crowd of fellow students that was quickly pausing to take in the spectacle. “You used a barred spell!”

“That is a bold accusation, Miss Evans,” their professor interrupted.

“And a lie,” James spat, his eyes lit with anger. “You’re just sore you lost.”

“Last time I checked unblockable spells weren’t allowed in this classroom!”

“I never cast an unblockable!”

“I had a shield up! Anyone could see it!”

Professor Osorio stood and aimed his wand at the feuding pair in turn before shouting, “ _Silencio_!”

The class burst into laughter at the sight of Lily, her face almost as red as her hair, now inaudibly thundering away and gesturing theatrically at James as he spat back silenced retorts, his glasses nearly sliding off as his face contorted in outrage.

“Miss Evans. Mr. Potter. Enough!” the Italian wizard bellowed. “The rest of the class, you are free to go. We will discuss your experiences today in our next lesson.”

Their professor’s command had served to bring James and Lily out of the heat of their fury, whereupon they quickly noticed that they had been silenced for the last thirty seconds or so. Removing the spell, Professor Osorio gestured toward two chairs he had conjured for them.

“A well won duel, Mr. Potter,” he began. “Impressive spellwork, but even more impressive use of space.”

“But Professor!” Lily protested. “You saw my shield! He cast–”

“Mr. Potter,” Professor Osorio interrupted, “I understand your anger, but you _will_ control it in the future in my classroom. This is not the last time you’ll duel Miss Evans and I expect your post-duel conduct to be exemplary in the future, no matter the circumstances. Do I make myself clear?”

“Certainly, sir,” James nodded.

“Excellent. Then you are free to go.”

“But–” Lily spoke up again.

“Quiet, Miss Evans!”

“Yes, sir,” Lily answered meekly.

“You are a talented duelist yourself. I paired you with Mr. Potter because quite frankly, aside from his friends…and perhaps Mr. Snape, I think you’re probably the only _student_ that could handle him.”

“Well, I appreciate that sir, I–”

“Nevertheless,” the professor interrupted, “I am extremely disappointed in your behavior today. You are a House Prefect. A person that your schoolmates look to when judging the conduct of others. And the accusations you made in my classroom were both inaccurate and inappropriate.”

“Inaccurate, sir? You know I’m not normally impertinent–”

“Absolutely inaccurate. Tell me, did Mr. Potter’s spell look to be a stunning spell to you? Were you able to observe–”

“Well, yes sir. I mean, the wand, the color…it did.”

“And did you notice anything…different…that preceded it?”

“Of course I did! He flicked his wand twice upward…that’s what made me realize that he must have cast an unblockable.”

“Miss Evans,” Professor Osorio said, shaking his head. “That was _not_ an unblockable spell.”

“Well it was no simple stunner!”

“No. It wasn’t.”

“Well then how–”

“It was a clever bit of magic. Commonly used by Mr. Potter and Mr. Black. I believe you’ll find something on it in the library…”

“The library? But–”

“I’m not going to tell you anything more. You’ll have to find it yourself…”

“Why did you tell me at all? I thought you wanted us to be unfamiliar with our dueling partners now.”

“I want all of you prepared for the world you’ll be facing. But at the same time, I am still partial to a level playing field…” he smiled. “You of course realize you’re expected to follow the same instruction I gave Mr. Potter.”

“Of course, sir.”

“You’re free to go Miss Evans.”

“Thank you, Professor,” Lily said, getting up to leave. As she left the classroom, she came to a terrible realization. She had to apologize to James Potter.

It had taken her until the middle of Charms to swallow her pride and until an hour after lessons had ended to track him down. Potter, decked out in his quidditch gear was leaving the castle for the first practice of the new term. He was accompanied by Katie, and a fully-padded Sirius Black. Could it get any worse for her? Sirius had already heard her outburst in class and had barely been restrained by their mutual friend Remus, and of course Katie had been there as well. She sighed. There went that budding friendship.

As she exited the castle, Sirius was the first to spot her, promptly elbowing his best friend in the ribs. Potter immediately turned toward him and Lily could see whispers being exchanged as the group stopped. He met her eyes with a firm stare before turning to Katie. “You carry on with Sirius alright? I’ll just be a minute.”

“Sure,” Katie said trudging forward after shooting a warning glance in Lily’s direction.

“What do you want, Evans?” he said sharply as soon as the pair were out of earshot.

“Look…about earlier.”

“What about it?”

“I just…I think there was a misunderstanding and–”

“Oh there wasn’t a misunderstanding. I got your message loud and clear. I’m a cheat. That’s the only way _I_ could possibly out-do _you_.”

“That’s not…I don’t think that.”

“Pssh!” James scoffed. “You know, Evans? I may be an arrogant prat at times, but at least I don’t try to pretend otherwise.”

Lily’s cheeks burned at his rebuke. “That’s fair,” she said, looking off into the sunset.

“Excuse me?”

“I said it was a fair thing to say. I do get a little…worked up about my standing at times. Maybe it goes to my head. And of course I’ll always agree that you’re an arrogant prat.”

James smirked. “I said _at times_.”

“More like at all times,” Lily fired back, laughing lightly despite herself. “Anyway…I guess what I came here to say is that I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“For questioning your integrity...as a duelist.”

“Always the qualifiers with you, Evans,” James said, shaking his head.

Suddenly their conversation was interrupted by shrieks from the pathway toward the Forbidden Forest. Turning their heads they could see first year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs running frantically back toward the castle, occasionally being struck down by a jinx or a stunning spell. Without a word, the pair took off toward the fray at full sprint.

“What the hell is going on?” James shouted as the spells continued to hit fly at the fleeing first years.

“I’ve no idea…” Lily answered, producing her wand. “I think they’re coming from there,” she said, pointing her wand in the direction of the rock wall behind the caretaker’s hut.

“And there!” James yelled, pointing at the top of the hill above them.

Following his wand, Lily could see a hooded figure wearing all black, a crude cloth obscuring all but his eyes. “Do you think they’re…you know?”

“Course not,” James said quickly. “They can’t cross the boundaries without permission. And they’re not actually hurting anyone,” he finished as he fired a Reductor Curse at the area of the wall Lily had indicated. “There you are,” he chuckled as a similarly-clad figure scampered up the hill to join his comrade.

The last of the first years on their way back from Care of Magical Creatures were entering the line of fire now. James leapt in front of a stunner aimed at one, being knocked to the ground hard. Rising, he began launching a flurry of offensive spells in their direction.

Meanwhile, Lily was busy protecting as many as she could with shield charms as they passed, pausing only occasionally to send a stunner or disarming spell toward the hooded figures as a means of giving James some cover from the numerical advantage the mysterious attackers would have otherwise enjoyed.

“We’ve got to close distance,” James urged. “I’m moving in. Get the first years clear and then join me,” he yelled as he charged forward, deflecting a rapid series of attacks before firing off a couple of his own.

“You can’t go it alone!” Lily protested. “Two to one? Not for a minute!”

“Then I guess you’ll have to hurry up and join me,” James yelled back, panting from the furious pace at which he was having to deflect a barrage of hexes.

Suddenly, a third figure appeared from behind the hill, firing a different spell in James’s direction. The wizard didn’t see this one coming as he fended off the last of the others’ most recent onslaught. With his shield down, it struck him squarely in his left flank, tearing his robes and leaving a small bleeding gash in his skin.

“Hell!” James cried out, deflecting more spells before another from the mysterious third party hit him again. “Evans! Could really use a bit of help here…”

“Just a couple more first years…” she yelled back, urging the stragglers up to the castle as quickly as she could.

This time when the barrage came, James elected to save his shield for the late arriving spell, rolling on the ground to dodge the others and deflecting the attack easily. Caught off guard by his new position, the original attackers were unprepared for James’s quick response, one being immobilized by a full body bind. Quickly, Lily strode forward along with him, helping to parry the continued attacks by the remaining two while closing the distance between them.

“The one on the left is _mine_ ,” James growled as he crossed Lily’s line of fire.

“Right,” she nodded, proceeding to focus on the last of the original pair.

James made sure to use stronger shield charms as he advanced on the late arrival to the scene. Whoever it was, they were here to play rough. James was finished playing. Deflecting the next curse easily, James began to rain down spells on his target. Narrowly dodging a particularly sinister sounding curse, he flicked his wand twice upward and surprised Lily’s mark with a stunner that laid him out cold for the moment. Though he was rewarded with another gash in his flesh, this time on his shin, James was pleased to see his assailant beating a hasty retreat. As they approached, the figure James had stunned managed to rouse the other and the pair followed their compatriot away from the scene.

“That’s right!” James gasped out loudly. “Run off after you pick on first years! Cowards!” He eased himself to the ground to rest.

“Merlin!” Lily exclaimed. “How did you do that?”

“You know what they say, Evans,” James started, wiping his brow and flashing her a devilish grin. “Practice makes perfect.”

“And where do they practice that?”

“Me and my mates in our spare time,” he chuckled. “Suppose I’d best get to quidditch practice though. They’ll be missing me...”

“You can’t possibly practice like that!” Lily protested. “You should be in the hospital wing.”

“Evans,” James panted, “two broken ribs and a bruised sternum in the match against Ravenclaw didn’t send me to the hospital wing, and neither will this. It’s a few cuts and a bit of blood.”

“You’ve bled all over your robes…”

‘The robes, I can take care of. The cuts…well, Katie wants to be a Healer…I’m sure she’ll have something.”

“Potter…”

“I’m fine, Evans,” James insisted. “Thanks for the assist.”

“You’re–”

“I’m fine,” he repeated firmly. “You’ve got bigger things to worry about than my paper cuts. Jog on.”

Lily shook her head before starting her trek back to the castle to report the events. As she reached the pathway leading to the entrance she spared another glance at his’s shrinking form. “Unbelievable,” she muttered to herself. “He’s completely, completely mental.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As promised, some James and Lily interaction. It hopefully reveals a bit more about both of them and puts into the open some of what I think might have been flaws for Lily, both in terms of her approach to certain areas of magic and personally. As I’ve already indicated, their interaction will ramp up from this point forward, but do not expect their existing relationships to be neglected. You can also expect a little more from the Marauders this half of sixth year, and in particular more action for both Remus and Peter, who will absolutely still be trying to pull off his solo prank.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	20. Frustrated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before then it had been him that made her smile.

Before beginning his day with another delightful helping of Potions, James had an appointment with his Head of House. Though he understood the urgency, his stomach protested at the light breakfast he had blazed through in the Great Hall. A pre-class meeting had not been on his agenda when he had snuck out last night to enjoy a post-curfew rendezvous with his girlfriend in one of the school’s spacious broom closets. Still, it was where he found himself ordered to be upon waking up. Somehow Evans had been able to get hers out of the way separately while he and Sirius had suffered through another of Sprout’s detentions. Sirius was right. McGonagall truly was merciless. Still half-asleep and low on energy, James trudged into the Transfiguration teacher’s office, quickly taking a seat in one of the offered wooden chairs.

“Good morning, Mr. Potter,” the older woman chirped.

“Morning, Professor.”

“I take it you know why you’re here?” she asked.

“The attack, right?” James questioned, stifling a yawn.

“Indeed,” McGonagall answered solemnly. “From all I know of the history of this school, I believe this is the most disturbing event to take place on school grounds since a student died some years before I attended. Were it not for you and Miss Evans’s timely intervention, it is unclear if the consequences might have been more severe than they were.”

James awaited the inevitable questions.

“Given the gravity of the events, I have been asked by the Headmaster to oversee a full-scale inquiry into this incident. What I need from you, Potter, is to tell me _exactly_ what you remember happening that day.”

“Well, it was fairly sudden,” James began. “I was on my way to quidditch practice with Katie and Sirius, and then I ended up stopping to talk to Evans for a bit…believe it or not. All of a sudden we just saw two figures start firing spells at the first-years coming back from Care of Magical Creatures.”

“Two figures? It was my understanding from Miss Evans that there were three.”

“Right. Well, originally it was just the two of them. All black with some cloth covering their faces. Evans was helping the rest of the first-years get to safety, shielding them and such, while I took them on. I was about to take one of them out and that’s when the third figure appeared.”

“Dressed the same?”

“Exactly the same, though he seemed a bit shorter and thinner.”

“I see…”

“He was the one who was really using the most damaging stuff. The others, it was all basic…stunners, leg-lockers, tripping jinxes. The third one is the one who dealt me the cuts,” James said, gesturing to the parts of his body that had been affected.

“Did you see anything identifiable about them?”

“I didn’t have to.”

“Did you or did you not–”

“Professor,” James interrupted. “I know who did it. Or at least the third one. It was Severus Snape.”

“Severus Snape?” McGonagall scoffed, looking incredulous. “That is a very serious charge, Potter. Not one to make lightly or without evidence…”

“Look, I know I don’t have _evidence_ exactly. I just know it was him. He’s been sneaking around with old books from the restricted section since the beginning of last year, hanging around making funny wand movements, muttering to himself…”

“Mr. Potter, surely you realize that strange activities, no matter how peculiar or suspicious they may seem to you are not sufficient to accuse a student of such a serious breach of the rules. Any student found responsible for this attack would be facing expulsion!”

“So he just gets away with it then? Because he and his friends were smart enough to cover up their faces?”

“I’m afraid if there is no more evidence that you can provide, then the _individuals_ responsible, whoever they may be, will not be found or punished. Without wand confirmation or identifying eyewitnesses…”

“You can’t do anything,” James finished darkly.

“Mr. Potter,” McGonagall warned, “I strongly caution you to avoid repeating the accusation you have made here _or_ from acting upon it in any way. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

“Yes, Professor,” James grumbled.

“Well then,” McGonagall started, “I believe Professor Slughorn will be expecting you in the dungeons shortly?”

“Indeed he will.”

“Then I suggest you make your way there now. And Potter…we will be watching all paths to and from the school with the utmost care from this point forward. If the individuals responsible attempt an attack like this again, rest assured they _will_ be punished. The Headmaster himself will see to it.”

“Thanks, Professor,” James said, frowning as he left to catch his friends and girlfriend on the way to Slughorn’s next lesson.

As Severus Snape stared into his cooling cauldron a light peal of laughter caused him to look up and across the classroom. In front of him, Lily’s auburn hair rippled as her head bobbed slightly. He was only able to see the back of her head from his vantage point, but he could tell that the source of her amusement was Lily’s brewing partner, Lionel Baird. He was sure that had been a flash in the pan, but apparently they’d managed to forge a friendship. The young Slytherin cursed himself again for the mistakes of the previous year. Before then it had been him that made her smile. It was _supposed_ to be him over that cauldron now, basking in the warmth of her presence. All the times he imagined his future while in his family’s gloomy house in Spinner’s End, it had been he who had won her heart.

Eager for a distraction, he glanced at the contents of his cauldron again. Not nearly thick enough yet to begin heating once more. Brewing a Pepperup Potion was a pedestrian assignment that was a waste of he and his more talented classmates’ time and effort. It was sadly typical of his Head of House’s permissive approach to N.E.W.T.-level instruction.

From the back of the room he could feel a pair of eyes watching him. James Potter. The arrogant Gryffindor disgusted him. He was the source of so many of the problems Severus had, both now and throughout school. Potter’s constant targeting of him for hexing and his own inability to fend him off had, until recently, sullied his reputation in his own house. The swine’s boastful manner and incessant pursuit of Lily had successfully thwarted almost every quiet moment in which Severus had contemplated telling his ideal mate how he felt about her. At the beginning of the week, he had managed to repel the attack that had been so carefully planned by Severus and his new associates.

Thoughts of the attack naturally turned his attention back to Lily. Did she know he had been involved? Had Potter relayed to her his obvious suspicions? In the depths of his heavily-walled heart, Severus still ached for an opportunity to set things right with the witch he loved. She was never supposed to be there he thought bitterly. He had known of Gryffindor’s scheduled quidditch practice, but the pitch was far enough away and Potter had never delayed his arrival before. It was Lily’s most precious quality he realized – it was her constant kindness that had sent everything pear-shaped. It was all that made sense. She despised Potter, but in class that morning she had attacked him with an unjustifiable slight that her conscience would never bear for long. So she had followed. Interrupted Potter’s progress. And now _he_ was responsible for an attack that placed _her_ in jeopardy. Were she to find out he would truly be beyond forgiveness.

Avery and Mulciber were fortunate he considered. Had they harmed her in the slightest…Severus had been practicing a truly devastating new curse to which only he knew the counter. It was dark. The darkest he had yet to develop, but they would have deserved every moment of suffering it gave them if they had touched her.

His gaze fell upon Lily again. After all he had been through it amazed him how the mere sight of her could still pull on his heart. It was the best, purest magic he knew. She had turned to face the front of the classroom again and now he could see her face. Her face was awash with the perfect glow generated by her smile. Her slightly-reddened lips parted again before nibbling at her quill as she thought about her next step. Baird, who was acting quite oddly for a man rebuffed, said something else and Lily laughed which stabbed him like a knife again and again. Lily flicked her head, tossing her hair back behind her again. For just a moment, it gave Severus a glimpse, however distant, of the emerald eyes he had looked into so many times before. She seemed happy. Her happiness inspired by his replacement.

He stared into his cauldron again, growing more anxious than ever to proceed. The red-orange liquid within had cooled enough now, drying slightly into a semi-solid gelatinous goo. He was the first to ignite the fire under his cauldron again, waiting expectantly as the mixture became brighter in hue. He glanced at the object of his affection once more as he added more of the mandrake root shavings along with an intense burst of heat. The potion in his cauldron steamed and crackled before he immediately reduced the heat to add more water to the concoction. As he did, the flecks of mandrake root sparked exactly as they should have. Severus smiled faintly before elbowing Mulciber to resume preparing their ingredients.

He sighed. Cauldrons he could control. Potions he could meticulously plan and prepare until ready. Love was different. It arose unexpectedly. It grew and waned inconsistently. It could be given endlessly, but still go unnoticed. Love was cruel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I knew I wanted to address Snape again, but it was something of a bear to write him again. I am always left wondering a bit how far to go with his emotions because while I feel like we know he feels very strongly about things, his ability to mask this on the outside (at least as an adult in canon) makes it hard to know how powerful they are in the moment and how heavily they weigh on his mind. Where I feel like I probably went a bit over the top with his bitterness last time, I worry that I might have gotten a bit rambly and excessive with his thoughts and feelings about Lily here. If you have feelings about how Snape is playing out so far, I would love to hear it (or anything else you’d like to share). 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	21. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We all have our secrets Lily. Some people's just happen to be light instead of dark."

“I’m with McGonagall on this, James,” Remus said, shaking his head. “We have absolutely no way of knowing who attacked our first-years.”

“Yeah…I mean you’ve seen the papers. The world’s going mad lately…” Peter piped up.

“Just long-held opinions coming out in the worst way,” Sirius muttered darkly.

“It wasn’t any of that lot,” James insisted. “They’ve killed people. Merlin! Think of Oliver Smith! If they’d got on grounds they’d be firing more than stunners.”

“And one apparently was…” Remus said, fixing James with a stare.

James whipped his head around to glare at Sirius.

The long-haired boy raised his hands in the air. “Don’t give me that, Prongs. They needed to know.”

“Like hell,” James grumbled. “Katie fixed me up just fine. Practice went without a hitch.”

“The point is,” Remus began again, “someone _was_ out there casting dark curses.”

“Exactly. Snivellus,” James said firmly. “He’s always practicing bizarre wand movements, muttering to himself, coming in and out of the restricted section–”

“And the only new thing we’ve ever overheard was that incredibly useful, but relatively innocuous muffling spell,” Remus interrupted.

“Look,” James said pointedly, “I was out there. It was him.”

Remus threw his hands in the air.

Sirius shrugged.

“What are you asking us to do exactly?” Peter asked meekly.

“Well…I’d just handle it myself, but given what I told McGonagall back when it happened it’d come right back to me. All I’m saying is that our first-years deserve somebody dishing out a little retaliation. Other than the occasional tripping jinx, we’ve left Snivellus alone far too long this year anyway.”

“I can agree with you there,” Sirius quickly added. “What’s the plan then? Dump him in the lake? De-pants him in Hogsmeade? I’ve been dying to do either of those…”

“Simpler,” James said conspiratorially. “He’s in Defense with us just before lunch. I figure we catch him alone, put a full body bind on him and tuck him away somewhere. Easy enough to manage.”

“Well, I’d do it in a heartbeat Prongs, but it’s almost March…quidditch coming up soon…you know we can’t afford me being banned,” Sirius answered.

“I’ll do it,” Peter volunteered. “He’s been goading me ever since he out-dueled me again.”

The others shared a skeptical glance before James locked eyes with Remus.

The other wizard sighed. “Alright. I’ll help,” he said resignedly, patting Peter on the shoulder in support.

Immediately after being dismissed for the day by Professor Osorio, Remus and Peter quickly made their way to a deserted corridor. Their plan was simple. After ensuring no students or staff were in the vicinity, they would don James’s invisibility cloak and proceed to the dungeons near the Slytherin dormitories. When Snape inevitably left alone for the Great Hall, he would be subdued and transported to an out of the way broom closet for safekeeping. With a bit of luck, the entire task would be finished in time to catch James and Sirius for lunch.

After over an hour of waiting, things were not going according to plan.

“Does he even eat lunch?” Peter whispered loudly, his speech almost being overwhelmed by the sound of his stomach growling.

“You’d know best, Wormtail,” Remus answered. “You certainly never skip a meal.”

Remus left out a groan as he struggled to keep the cloak covering both of them following a sharp elbow from his portliest friend.

“Cut it!” he hissed. “Between your elbow and your stomach, if he does come out we’ll miss it.”

“You asked for the elbow,” Peter replied with annoyance.

Both fell silent as the wall opened to release another Slytherin from the bowels of their section of the dungeons. Fortunately, that student was none other than their intended target, who to their relief was in fact alone. The pair immediately took up pursuit.

“Merlin! Can he walk any faster?” Peter panted as Snape turned another corner.

“Just keep up!” Remus whispered harshly. “He gets to the staircase and we’ve lost even more of our day.”

As he approached said staircase, Snape stopped suddenly. He remained frozen in thought for a moment before turning back the way he had come, almost running into Peter and Remus in the process. Spotting no other students in the area, Remus signaled Peter that the time to act had come.

Casting off the cloak, Remus yelled. “ _Obscuro_!” The spell had the desired effect, producing a tight blindfold over Snape’s eyes.

In the next moment, Peter cried out, “ _Petrificus Totalus!_ ”

Snape’s body went instantly rigid and the pair moved quickly to cover it with the cloak. With a flick of his wand, Remus used the _mobilicorpus_ charm, positioning Snape’s incapacitated body in front of them. With Peter watching their rear, the boys proceeded carefully forward up several staircases until they discovered a sufficiently deserted corridor with a broom closet. As Peter opened the door, Remus removed the cloak and folded it up into his robes. Manipulating Snape’s body so he was almost standing upright in the doorway, he canceled the charm they had used to move him and shoved him, still blindfolded, into the darkness.

Severus was finally found several hours later by a startled Argus Filch who had run off to fetch the nearest professor for help. Fortunately for James and Sirius, that professor had been Professor Sprout who had simply shaken her head and muttered about the how juvenile the incident was without giving thought to who may be responsible.

To Severus it was quite clear, but he knew just as he’d escaped punishment for a far worse crime, the same would happen to them. Given what had – or _hadn’t_ – been done to track the source to anyone in the school, they weren’t going to test everyone’s wands. Wands that had probably been washed clean with a myriad of other spells that enjoyed standard daily use. Having to instruct Avery and Mulciber on such a basic step of covering one’s tracks was a particularly painful memory. Earning favor could hardly be achieved without discipline and results. Inside jobs could only go so far.

He’d missed his classes and so wandered back to the dungeons to reset his schedule. Stepping inside wasn’t exactly a comfort. Even though he’d carved out a degree of recognition from his notoriously aloof housemates based on his cunning potion and spell development he was an outsider to most, a fact he was reminded of when a fourth-year from a proper pureblood family walked into him and moved on without a second thought. If his mind hadn’t been occupied with bigger ambitions the boy might have found himself on the end of retaliation his tiny mind couldn’t even fathom. Retreating into his dormitory he was irritated to find it full of quidditch goons.

“Look who it is Grant…” said Dareth, one of the few seventh-years on their patchwork excuse for a team.

“Oi! It’s the Greasy Ghost! Come to bury your head in a book?”

“Shut up…” Severus muttered.

He felt himself being grabbed by the collar. “What was that?” snarled Grant.

“I said _shut up_.”

In a flash he was on the ground. Though he was encircled, he wasn’t alone. Grant was there laughing as loomed over him, standing tall with heavily muscled arms crossed and cropped blond hair. “Severus, Severus, Severus,” he tutted, “everyone is always saying how smart you are, but I never get to see it.” He grabbed the frail boy, yanking him up again.

Around the room the boy’s teammates and their cronies laughed.

Severus’s blood boiled. Then he smirked. He’d always needed a test subject and when Grant shoved him to his knees he realized this was his moment. Before the laughing blond giant noticed, Severus had slipped his wand outside of his pocket and into his hand. The crowd tried to warn Grant. Severus warned him as he felt the larger boy approach. “Walk away…”

“From you?” Grant guffawed. “I know you’re supposed to be good at spells, but you can’t do shit you little half-blood. You’re too small, too slow and,” he glowered down at Severus, the younger boys eyes meeting Grant’s chest, “I’m too close.” Severus looked down. Grant shoved him back, enough to make his point, but not enough to force Severus to the ground his time. “That’s what I thought.”

In a flash, Severus struck. “ _Sectumsempra!_ ” The spell blasted into the older boy knocking him back slightly.

“What do you call that one, Snape? The poking hex?” Severus smirked as he observed the change. The boy gripped his chest. The hand came up wet. “The…the…fuck did you do to me?”

The crowd fell silent as Grant’s shirt started reddening. Severus approached as they remained motionless. Now it was he who was staring down at Grant. Severus nudged the older boy’s ribs with the toe of his shoe. He grunted and squirmed, biting back the pain. He did the same as Severus poked at his chest. “The poking hex?” Severus sneered. “This…” he waved his hand over Grant’s body, “isn’t even fully developed. Now you’ll stay down – assuming you’d rather heal here rather than somewhere that someone…might ask questions.”

Ten minutes later Grant followed his friends out of the room – Severus’s room – still throwing glances behind him as he retreated. This would never do. It was useful, yes, but not nearly enough. There was an incredible difference between this and being able to rapidly exsanguinate an enemy, but he had time. Plenty of time. And plenty of potential test subjects.

Four hours later, Lily and Remus had nearly finished their required rounds.

“Thirty minutes for two more floors. I think we may manage to be on time tonight,” Remus said happily.

“We ran a bit low on miscreants tonight didn’t we?” Lily mused.

“Absolutely. I’m a bit worried to be honest. It seems without our providing constant inspiration the worst our schoolmates can muster lately is being out after curfew.”

Lily glanced at him disapprovingly. “Remind me how you were made prefect again?”

Remus chuckled. “I like to tell myself that the powers behind that decision saw something special within me. Though in fairness, I think it’s more likely I’m just clever enough to avoid pranks I know will get me caught.”

Lily laughed. “You really can be as shameless as Potter and Black at times, you know?”

“I do. We _are_ friends after all.”

“What do you see in them?”

“Really?” Remus inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“Really. Obviously they’re very talented–”

“I’ve told you it’s more than talents,” Remus interrupted, his voice laden with a heavy seriousness. “They’ve both made difficult choices…taken horrible risks for me over the years. They’re my friends. Despite everything.”

Lily stopped walking and gazed out one of the castle’s small windows. Silence hung between the two Gryffindor prefects as Lily stared into the starry sky thoughtfully, while Remus looked down at the stone floor of the corridor they had been patrolling, scuffing his feet idly.

“Too much then?” he offered, smiling feebly.

“No,” Lily said softly, turning back toward him. “It’s just surprising. That someone as rational and reasonable as you is so completely sure. Despite everything.”

Remus gave her a weak laugh. “We all have our secrets Lily. Some people’s just happen to be light instead of dark.”

“But why hide it? Why behave the way they do if they’re really like you say?”

“They have their reasons.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Could you be any _more_ vague?”

“I’m afraid I’m sworn to secrecy. But if you really wanted to know–”

“They’d never share,” she interrupted. “Especially not with me.”

As they climbed the staircase to the last floor left to patrol the conversation died, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Rounding two corners and stepping into an empty passage, their attention was snapped back to the job at hand by the sound of heavy breathing and the occasional thump against the door of a broom closet.

Remus smirked. “You’ll catch up? I know the broom closet bust is your specialty…”

Lily nodded and Remus slinked past quietly before rounding the corner ahead. After he had gone, she reflected briefly on the partial hypocrisy of what she was about to do. True, the students were out after curfew, but she was exhausted and her usual speech was beginning to sound just as tired Taking a deep breath, she approached the door and flung it wide.

Inside, she was first confronted by the back of traditional school robes, which she quickly followed up to a delicate hand fiercely grabbing a fistful of their owner’s black hair. Lily’s suppressed amusement quickly turned to irritation however when it became clear that whoever they were, they were either still unaware of her presence or willfully ignoring it. She began to reach out a hand toward the snogging couple when they flattened themselves sideways and carried on. From her new vantage point, she could see that the wizard in question was none other than James Potter, locked in an intense kiss with Katie Wallenby.

“Ahem!” she coughed loudly.

Two pairs of eyes suddenly flew open and both struggled to scramble out of the small space before Potter quickly took the initiative, stepping out and blocking Katie from Lily’s glare.

“Need something, Evans?” he said.

Lily bristled at his choice of words. “I _need_ both of you to get back to the Tower. It’s almost two hours past curfew and you both know better. That will be–”

“Come on, Evans. You know that’ll have to be reported.”

“Tragic,” she said coolly.

“Look, we’ll go now and you can just pretend you never saw us.”

She stared at him. “I _could_. But I think I’d rather keep my badge.” To think she’d actually been considering what Remus said.

Potter turned away from her quickly without so much as a retort and put his hands on Katie’s shoulders, whispering something to her. Though Lily still could not see her clearly, the girl seemed to be surprisingly shaken up.

Turning back around, Potter stepped toward her, making himself more of an obstacle between Lily and Katie. “Look...we broke the rules. I get it,” he began in a surprisingly pleading tone. “It’s just…I’m not asking for me alright. Katie’s dad is…strict. He gets an owl any time she loses points or gets below Exceeds Expectations on an assignment. He’ll flip.”

Lily paused to think for a moment. She did feel for Katie, but then she and Potter both knew the risk when they came here. Aside from that, she disliked the idea of not giving equal punishments to each violator. “I’m sorry about that, but I can’t. I always give the same punishment…five points each.”

“Please,” James begged, locking eyes with Lily this time.

“Potter, I’ve already said–”

“I know what you said. Ten points total. So just take them all on account of me. Leave Katie out of it.”

Lily moved her head to see Katie. The poor girl did look genuinely worried. “You? You’re really taking all the blame for someone else?”

James nodded. “Yeah. I am. It’s not just for ‘someone else’.”

For some reason this was very serious to him – far more than would be normal for just a snog after hours usually was. “Fine. Have it your way then. But you’ll have to out yourself with some stupid excuse. I’m sure you can come up with something,” Lily said finally. “Potter, that’s ten points from Gryffindor for your flagrant disregard of curfew.”

Behind him, Lily noticed Katie’s face awash with relief as she silently mouthed a ‘thank you’ in her direction. In a flash, the pair were gone.

By the time she caught up to Remus he had almost made it back to Gryffindor Tower. “Enjoyed it tonight did you?” he asked.

“No, actually,” she answered. “That was kind of the problem.”

“Well, well,” he chuckled, “I hope you’re not going soft on me.”

“No. Ten points, just like always.”

“Alright then,” Remus shrugged. “I’m off to bed then. Busy day tomorrow.”

“Night Remus,” Lily replied, waving as she headed off to her own dormitory.

As she ascended the stairs, Lily’s thoughts returned to her experiences with broom closets that night. It was different from the experiences she had as a younger girl. Then it was faster and messier – not to mention a little awkward the first few times. Setting herself straight had taken a bit. Maybe that was why…she shook her head.

When she had caught Potter with Katie, it was different. She had heard their heavy breathing. Seen their flushed faces. She remembered the visible strength with which the other girl’s hand had gripped Potter’s hair. Despite that neither looked messy like the younger students she caught often did. What she had broken up wasn’t fast or slow. That didn’t seem to matter to them. It was…passionate and unrestrained and yet…loving? Lily had a fleeting feeling she couldn’t quite place. But as she opened the door to her dormitory, it was gone as quickly as it came, buried by the avalanche of greetings and questions that issued immediately from her two roommates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As for this chapter, I decided to do something a bit different and confront a lot of issues that are brewing all at once. I will admit from the outset that a big reason for that is that I wrestled with which specific issue I wanted to address next, but I think it actually turned out nicely dealing with them all together through the broom closet structure. I’m interested to see what you guys think.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	22. Black and Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'At least I'm not living like someone I'm not every day.'

In the aftermath of Gryffindor’s 420-110 victory over Hufflepuff spirits in the house had been running high. Their team was once more perched atop the standings for the Quidditch Cup and celebrations had gone long into the night. Now, in the morning light, many students awakened to find themselves contorted on common room furniture amidst their housemates. As others trickled down from the dormitories above, many of the younger students passed each other awkwardly, blushing or avoiding eye contact as the reality of the impromptu snogging of the night before set in fully.

Sirius smiled in amusement as he witnessed a similar interaction between Remus and their housemate Britt Lawson. Though the conversation between the two did not seem to be going comfortably for either, Sirius hoped that whatever had happened between them the night before might finally push his friend over the hump. While the secret werewolf’s reluctance to become too closely involved with most, let alone a member of the opposite sex was understandable to him, Sirius thought having a more than friendly connection might benefit the most reserved, studious member of their quartet.

Speaking of more than friendly connections, Sirius allowed his mind to wander back to the night he had enjoyed with Shannon O’Donnell. It had been some time since their “date” in Hogsmeade, but they had managed to meet covertly on more than one occasion to enjoy further editions. The well-proportioned blonde had little wit to speak of. Of course they did have some shared interests, but the one he found most important was fantastic. She never failed to ensure he enjoyed their meetings immensely. Blessedly it was purely physical for each of them. Absent the public pressures of Hogsmeade there was never even a need for superficial romance or entertaining inane conversation topics he couldn’t care less about. Without any commitment he didn’t have to put up with neediness or demands for some deep emotional connection. Outside his close friends and James’s incredibly supportive family, that well had been long-poisoned and it was one he felt no incentive to cleanse any time soon.

Shaking his thoughts from the dark rails they were threatening to travel, he was surprised to see the attractive blonde witch standing before him. As she looked down at him, Sirius casually smoothed the back of his hair down and smirked in her direction.

“Hey,” she said tentatively, raising her small hand in a tiny wave.

Sirius was surprised that she was engaging him in a one-on-one conversation. “Hello,” he said lukewarmly.

“I…uhh…enjoyed last night,” Shannon continued, looking down and tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Yeah. Me too.”

She blushed. “I guess I already said that yesterday…”

Sirius squinted his eyes, looking at her intently. “Several times actually.”

An awkward silence fell between them.

Sirius sat up from his relaxed position on the couch. “Did you need something?”

Shannon’s hand rose to cover her mouth as she appeared to waver between speaking and leaving. Finally, she fixed him with an icy glare. “You’re a real arse!” she yelled, drawing the attention of all the Gryffindors currently bustling about the common room.

Sirius immediately stood, his irritation rising. “Excuse me?” he hissed back.

“What’s wrong with you?” she yelled again. “We’ve been doing this on-and-off for _months_ now. And all you have to say after last night is ‘did you need something’?”

Sirius crossed his arms and glared at Shannon fiercely. “This is _not_ the place,” he barked loudly.

“What _is_ the place, then? Breakfast? By the lake? Hogsmeade next weekend? You know, the places where boys take girls they care about?” she shot back, clearly seething.

The crowd had now formed a clear circle around the feuding pair. The male students in the audience largely appeared amused, while their female counterparts stared on in either shock or cold intensity.

“Ohhh ho!” Sirius defended, turning sideways and wagging a finger in the space between them. “You agreed this was _never_ about that.”

“Of course I did. I thought I could get a chance to know you. And you’d get to know me and maybe things would change…”

“And I was clear from the beginning,” he said icily.

“Well excuse me if things weren’t so clear last night,” Shannon spat.

Gasps and ‘oohs’ rang out from the surrounding students at the latest revelation.

Sirius felt the heat rising within him. “I _never_ promised you _anything_. I got to know you plenty first half of our trip to Hogsmeade in November. You want to hear the truth in front of all these people?” he raged, not waiting to hear Shannon’s answer. “After that trip I felt more comfortable than _ever_ with our arrangement.”

Shannon sniffed as she tried to fight back tears. “That’s a load of rubbish!” she fired back, holding her nerve. “You’re a _coward_ , Sirius Black. You make me sick.” Spinning on her heel, she bolted up the stairs to the girls dormitories, a single loud sob ringing out before the assembled mass of students heard a door slam.

A half hour later, Sirius finally made his way down to join James and Katie in the Great Hall. Katie lifted her eyes briefly from her oatmeal to look back and forth between the two best friends. Noticing James had his mouth shut more tightly than usual and that Sirius’s face was scrunched just the same she remained silent and went back to eating. After enduring five minutes of pure silence however, the atmosphere was beginning to become unbearable. Looking between the two Marauders he noticed that they seemed to be exchanging some sort of information through hard stares.

“James, could you pass a muffin?” she asked suddenly. Receiving no response, she prodded him playfully.

“Sorry, what?” James asked, turning to give Katie his full attention, at least for the moment.

“I just wondered if I might get a muffin. You’re kind of hoarding them…”

“Oh…right. What kind?”

“Blueberry sounds nice. Could you pass the butter as well?”

“Sure, sure,” he said quickly, handing both items over at once before turning back to Sirius.

Katie rolled her eyes and decided to change tactics. “Sirius, you seem to be in a...dark…mood.”

“Yes, well,” Sirius muttered, shaking his head as he continued to scowl, “didn’t have the most pleasant morning.”

Katie was pleased to see that James looked a bit freer following her broaching of the subject.

“Bad as we heard then mate?” he asked gingerly.

“Bloody nightmare,” Sirius answered darkly. “Made me out to be some sort of unscrupulous bloke. Like I took advantage or something. You know me, Prongs. I’m always perfectly clear about things.”

“Course, Padfoot…” James started.

Sirius glared as his best friend let his thought trail off in hesitation. “Something more to say?”

James raised his hands as if to surrender. “Nothing in particular…it’s just that, well, you’ve been rather lucky up until now don’t you think?”

“Lucky?”

“Yeah, mate. I mean we _are_ talking about witches here.”

Katie jabbed her boyfriend in the side, watching him wince.

“No offense, Katie…you know it’s just that–”

“Why don’t you just move on to your next thought…” Katie interrupted faking a sweet smile while her eyes shot James a withering glare. “Perhaps it will be a bit…smarter?”

“I guess what I’m trying to say is…most people just aren’t made to go on without any commitment forever.”

Katie relaxed, pleased at her boyfriend’s more eloquent revision.

“So you’re agreeing with them?” Sirius growled back in surprise.

James shook his still-raised hands, trying to draw attention to them. “Of course not. I mean, not that you’re unscrupulous–”

“What am I exactly then?”

“Look, I’m just saying maybe you could give it a try,” he continued, lowering his voice to a whisper. “You know…letting a girl in.”

Sirius harrumphed. “No thanks, Prongs. You might be happy shackling yourself down–”

“Excuse me?” Katie said loudly.

“Come on, Padfoot,” James said disapprovingly. “Don’t bring Katie into this.”

“Don’t bring _me_ into it?” Katie said in disbelief. “That’s clearly bringing _us_ into it, James.”

Suddenly, James felt as if he was under fire from all sides. “Right. Of course. I mean obviously I don’t feel that way about you…”

“That’s what wrong with you, Prongs. You just don’t see it. How many pranks have you pulled this year?”

“As many as you,” James fired back immediately.

“And about a third as many as years past,” Sirius said bitterly. “If you weren’t so fixed on not upsetting Wallenby here–”

Before Katie could speak, James was out of his seat and standing. “Back off, Sirius!” As he felt eyes turning toward him, he lowered his voice to a violent hiss. “Katie signed off on the bloody Christmas prank right in front of you. You’re just making an arse of yourself.”

“At least I’m not living like someone I’m not every day,” Sirius snapped. He threw his head back and laughed bitterly. “You know, I expected this from those idiots in the common room, Prongs. Most of them have been wrapped around their girls’ little fingers since day one…but my best mate? I thought you’d be better than that.”

James took a deep breath and shook his head sadly as he exhaled. “You know what? I’m going to let this go. You’re not yourself.”

Sirius scoffed.

“You’re not,” he repeated firmly. “We’ve talked about this. When you actually want to deal with it…find me. ‘Til then, don’t make _your_ issues about me and _my_ relationship. Come on, Katie. Let’s go.”

As the couple walked out of the Great Hall side-by-side, Sirius laid his forehead to rest on the edge of the table, kicking himself for letting his bitterness and sharp tongue get the better of him. Since they had first become friends, it was his first _serious_ fight with James. The lack of experience and added fact that he had royally infuriated James’s girlfriend left him with little idea of where to even begin fixing things. Sighing, he thought of Remus. Perhaps their wisest friend would have some insight. Sirius came to the painful realization that until then, on what was supposed to be a happy, lazy Sunday he was completely alone.

Lily, Alana, and Marlene milled around the courtyard that afternoon. Lily found her mind wandering to her upcoming duel with Potter at the end of next week when she was determined to beat him. Though Osorio had only dnudged her to research, doing so had become something of an obsession until she found what she was looking for. Doubling or tripling her off wasn’t going to work so easily this time and she hoped that the fact her conversation with the professor had taken place after Potter left, he wouldn’t be expecting her to strike with the same intensity. Maybe she could lay him on his back quickly. That’d shut him up.

“Somebody’s quiet,” Alana said, poking Lily in the shoulder.

“Oh. What? Yeah, that sounds good.”

Marlene laughed. “Alana jumping in the Great Lake sounds good?”

“No. Why would she jump in the lake?”

“You have no idea what we’re talking about, do you?”

Lily bit her lip. “…no. My mind was wandering.”

“To?” Alana asked.

“Just Potter,” she grumbled.

Marlene raised an eyebrow. “ _You_ were getting lost in thoughts about Potter?”

“Not _about_ him. There’s duels coming up next week in Defense and I just want to blast him into a wall.”

“Angry much?” asked Alana.

“He beat me last time. Strategy, spellwork, all of it. And then I embarrassed myself which you both know. I have to win.”

“Somebody better warn him…” said Marlene. “Maybe if he just surrenders you won’t slash his neck.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “I’m not literally going to cut him. Just cut him down to size. He’s even more full of himself about dueling than he is about quidditch.”

“Hmm. I thought with the apology and the whole beating back the creeps attacking the firsties you’d be at least a little less aggressive.”

“Yeah,” said Alana, “plus, _somebody_ said you took it easy on him the other night…”

“What? I took ten points. He was out after curfew.”

Marlene smirked. “Word in the halls is he wasn’t the only one.”

“That prick. I’ll kill him.”

“So it’s true then? You let him take the points for Katie so they could keep dating? Softie.”

“I’m going to kill him, Marlene. I might actually slit his throat on Friday. If I can wait.”

Alana shrugged. “If it makes you feel better neither of them started the rumor.”

“Then who the hell else was around to do it?”

“Some Hufflepuff girl who was out on a dare. I don’t know her name. She’s probably still too new to get that telling one person is telling the whole school.”

Lily shook her head, one hand rubbing her brows. “Can we talk about something else?”

The two other girls both laughed. “Fine,” Alana said, “how about Benji Bamford?”

“Benji Bamford?”

“Alana’s been dying to tell you she heard him talking about you today and how – interested – he is,” Marlene winked.

She loved her friends, but God they could be exasperating. “I _told_ you. I don’t need a boyfriend, much less want one.”

“He doesn’t have to be your boyfriend. From what I understand the conversation was more descriptive.”

Alana gulped.

Marlene froze.

“That’s – hey – come back!” Alana called out as Lily stomped toward the door, her face as red as her hair.

Marlene held Alana back as she moved to follow. “Give her a bit.” Alana looked back, questioning. “Seriously. Give her a bit.”

A few hours later, the two girls made their way back to the dormitory where they found Lily staring out the window. After hearing the door click, she turned around. “Why the _fuck_ would you say that to me?”

“I messed up,” Alana said, staring at her feet as Marlene pushed her forward. “I’m really sorry, Lily.”

As Alana sat down on her bed, Marlene stayed in the center of the room between them. “You don’t have to stand in the middle you know,” Lily said, “I’m not going to hex her.”

Marlene took a deep breath. “That’s not why I’m in the middle.” She could feel the heat coming off Lily in waves. “We need to – _you_ need to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Lily snapped. “It happened. It’s done. It was years ago.”

Alana slid forward, trying to creep toward the bathroom. “Don’t go anywhere,” Marlene said, “we’re best friends and you should be part of this conversation.”

“There’s not going to _be_ a conversation,” Lily said as she stood up again. This time, Marlene moved between her and the door. “Get out of my way, Marlene.” Lily made to move around the other side, but was blocked again. “ _Move_.”

“No. You need to stop, Lily. How long are you going to chain yourself to this?”

“I’m not chaining myself to–“

“You are and you know it. This whole business with Lionel? It’s bullshit. And it’s because of Ian.”

Lily’s nostrils flared as she fumed. “ _Ian_ isn’t why I’m not going with Lionel.”

“That may be. But he’s the reason you did something so fucked up to Lionel, whether you were actually ever interested or not.”

Alana peered around Marlene. “Lily…don’t you…don’t you want to talk about it? If it’s still hurting you…”

“I know exactly what happened. I was there. I’m not hurting about it. It happens to people all the time and they move on with their lives. Just like I have. It’s honestly ridiculous that the two of you think it still bothers me.”

Marlene laughed sardonically. “What’s ridiculous is how hard you’re still trying to pretend it only took a week to get over. It’s _us_ , Lily. You’ve never had to pretend to be ‘The Great Lily Evans’ here.”

“The Great Lily Evans? What the fuck is that?”

“It’s you. And the way you pretend to be perfect. I…” Marlene looked back at Alana for a moment “… _we_ love you. You’re smart and kind and beautiful. But newsflash Lily: you’re not perfect. And that’s okay.”

“I don’t try to be perfect. I’m not one of those girls who floats around daintily looking impeccably made-up every day.”

“That’s not the point. Stop acting. You’ve never pulled that shit here and you’re sure as hell not going to start now.”

“Is this about dating? Because I’m–“

“No, it’s not about dating. I could give a fuck whether you date or shag or whatever you want with Lionel or Benji or whoever the fuck you want. It’s about the fact that you do just enough to fake it without letting anybody else besides us in. Let them think you’re flawless if that’s what you really want. Keep pretending that nothing ever gets to you. But you don’t get to do that with your best friends.”

“Yeah,” Alana added, “you’re goofy and fun and adorably clueless sometimes too. But stuff still bothers you. But you’re afraid that other people will find out and that sucks. You’re scared somebody else is going to hurt you like Ian.”

“He never respected who I was. What I wanted. That I…“

Marlene and Alana sat down beside her. “That you weren’t ready. And that you told him and he–“

“Cheated? Let me catch him fucking another girl because I told him I wasn’t going to? Let her talk to me like she did while I stood there frozen? I was _fifteen_. And I’d never let anybody else see me…this me…like you two have. Not even Severus.” Lily stopped and sniffed before looking up. “I’m not crying,” she said holding her head high even as her emerald eyes shone on the verge of it.

“What he did was really screwed up, Lily,” said Alana softly. “You were strong. He tried to take advantage of you, but you didn’t let him. The fact that he chose somebody who was willing to do whatever _he_ wanted doesn’t change the fact that you were right. Whether you want to date or whatever, Marlene’s right.”

“People would just think I’m a fake.”

“Because you let your hair down every now and then?” Marlene asked. “I don’t think so.”

“And the whole Lionel thing? I don’t know if you liked him or not, but if you did…you know there are guys out there who aren’t going to screw around on you just because you set boundaries.”

“Just because you tell them what you want or don’t want and demand they respect that,” Marlene added.

Lily nodded, hugging her friends to her. “I’m not going to start a pillow fight,” she said, looking to Marlene. “And I still don’t want a boyfriend,” she said to Alana. “But I’ll try not to be so perfect all the time.”

Marlene laughed. “I should’ve known that would go to your head.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was pretty transparently going to involve some fights, all of which wind up centering around personal choices that lie at the core of who characters are or were. Some are obviously tamer than others depending on the characters’ natures and the nature of the spat, but all were geared to advance those aspects of the characters that are addressed.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	23. Dinner is Served

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> '...class is always a competition with you.'

Sunset was Peter’s favorite time of day, especially while at Hogwarts. There was something majestic in the sight of the glowing orb sliding slowly out of sight beyond the Black Lake. That was why he came all the way out here, to the far shore, several times a week to plan his perfect prank. Since having been practically laughed out of their compartment on the Hogwarts Express after declaring that he would execute a prank alone, Peter had been scheming. His first thought had been a basic dungbomb attack like the Marauders of old had done so many times before, but he had quickly discarded that notion. He had always been awestruck by the more daring pranks that Sirius and James had pulled. They were fond memories, even if he had been only a bit player in most of them. There was the mud muffin escapade they had pulled at the staff table in second year. The brilliant charms and masterful broomwork behind their derisive fireworks display after Slytherin had clinched the Quidditch Cup in their third. And of course, who could forget the Hogsmeade Hanging Hoax of 1975? McGonagall had given the lot of them two months’ detention for that little stunt. Peter was convinced it was only Sirius’s family name and James’s father’s influence that prevented a formal inquiry and warning from the Ministry. This year, _he_ wanted to impress _them_.

Now, after months of careful planning, it was all going to come to fruition. Dinner would be starting in the Great Hall any moment now. As the work began to pile up toward the end of term, the students always became increasingly ravenous. Tonight however, a host of them would be in for a special treat. Some hours before he had crept into the kitchens where the house elves of Hogwarts were beginning to prepare the food for the evening. Distracting them was easy enough. Since discovering the hidden entrance, the house elves and the Marauders had enjoyed a unique relationship. The four students supplied the conversation and companionship the creatures craved and in return, they were rewarded with special orders for parties in the common room, late night snacks, or items to use in food-based pranks. This time however, food was not Peter’s goal. Over the course of an hour he moved about the room carefully, chatting with the creatures as they worked and providing them small sources of amusement while they did they bustled about. While their attentions were divided, Peter cast several enchantments on the platters and goblets laid aside for the Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Slytherins. His own work done, he had made a gracious exit and come down to the lake to reflect on how best to bask in his imminent success.

A short time later, Peter filed into the Great Hall with the masses of other students in search of supper, eventually taking a seat next to James.

“You’re looking quite pleased with yourself, Wormtail,” Remus noted.

“Just having a good day is all,” the squat Marauder replied.

Sirius grumbled inaudibly, causing Remus to roll his eyes. Their friend hadn’t been the same since his public row with Shannon O’Donnell and the subsequent private spat that had developed later that morning between the long-locked young wizard and his best mate. For his part, James ignored Sirius entirely, happily engaging in conversation with his girlfriend and her two friends.

“How long is this going to go on?” Remus muttered to Sirius.

“Long as it takes, I suppose. Look at him. Carrying on as if he has a care in the world what her friends have to say.” Still, a look of longing rested firmly in Sirius’s eyes as he watched from the sidelines.

Remus chuckled. “I don’t think you’ll last the night.”

As he looked eagerly toward the staff table, Peter saw the Headmaster’s hand beginning to rise. Any moment now, Dumbledore would wave it widely over the tables and the assembled students would look to the platters and goblets expectantly. A second later he was grinning happily as he saw a large roast materialize in front of him. The first part of his plan had worked!

Loud protests quickly confirmed the second had as well. Looking across at the Slytherins, he was confronted with looks ranging from confusion to agitation. Behind him, he could hear some Hufflepuffs beginning to bang their fists on the table. As if that would fix the issue! Peter surreptitiously glanced toward the staff table. The professors were conferring with Dumbledore about what had happened as his fellow Gryffindors quickly tucked in. Soon, emissaries from Ravenclaw approached, imploring his housemates to share their bounty, but most of the Gryffindors were politely unwilling. The grousing at the Slytherin table reached a dull roar as the number of Hufflepuffs pounding their table increased. Several groups of students approached the professors, interrupting their conference about a solution as large swaths of the other houses began to join the united Hufflepuffs in their raucous fist-pounding. As the scene developed, Peter sat back and sighed happily. It was no Hanging Hoax, but it was going to be a treat to watch.

Roughly twenty minutes later, everything was back under control. Having repelled the groups of complaining students and settled down the disgruntled masses, the staff’s assessment had been easy and the remedy quick. Nevertheless, the prank had been a hit amongst the Gryffindors. Peter was perfectly pleased with himself.

Once again, his satisfied expression did not go unnoticed by Remus. “Well…it seems you’ve proven both James and Sirius wrong in one fell swoop,” he said with a smirk.

“Pssh!” Sirius scoffed. “What are you talking about Moony?”

“Look at him. I should think it’s rather obvious.”

Sirius regarded Peter skeptically. “You mean to tell me you stopped the food coming to the other Houses?”

“Sure, I did,” Peter said confidently. “It actually turned out to be pretty easy, though it didn’t last quite as long as I’d hoped.”

“How?” Sirius asked, incredulous.

“Well, I just headed for the kitchens and chatted with the house elves while they made dinner. They sorted which dishes would be for which tables and I just cast some protective charms to prevent anything from entering the space around them.”

“Hmm…then how did the elves get them out here?”

“I just shaped the protection so it didn’t affect the handles or the bottom,” Peter shrugged.

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself.

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘Congratulations’, Padfoot,” Remus chuckled. “I’m sure Peter might appreciate ‘I was wrong’ as well, though I wouldn’t expect it from you.”

“Hell,” Sirius grumbled. “Well done, Wormtail. I have to hand it to you. Can’t believe Prongs and I never thought of that.”

Hearing his nickname drew James suddenly into the conversation.

“What about me?”

Sirius scowled.

“Sirius was just saying how he couldn’t believe you and he hadn’t thought up the platter prank before Peter,” Remus volunteered.

“Merlin! That was you then, Wormtail? Good one!”

“Thanks, James,” Peter beamed.

“How’d you do it?”

“Well, like I said, it all started in the kitchens…” Peter began, happy that James was paying rapt attention to his contribution for once. Looking outside, he saw the last of the spring sunset fading away into night. Yes, sunset was his favorite time of day.

After dinner, many of the sixth-year Gryffindors adjourned to the common room or dormitories as their panicked younger counterparts hurried off to the library to begin preparing in earnest for their examinations. In her own room, Lily was finally enjoying some time to catch up with her friends. Though it had been over two weeks since their last big sit down, conversation had flowed fast and free as always. Thankfully, they had wrapped up the subjects Lily wasn’t particularly fond of rather quickly. If she had to hear another word from one of her housemates, let alone her close friends about what Gryffindor needed to do to win the Quidditch Cup in six weeks’ time, she thought quite seriously that she might scream.

As Alana tossed aside her Charms textbook, Marlene nibbled on the last bit of a chocolate frog. 

“So,” Alana started, “think you’re going to hold off Potter again this year, Lily?”

“That’s the best we have to talk about now?” Lily asked dully.

“Oh, it’s _far_ from the best, but it’ll do for now,” her friend teased.

“Well, I’m sure I will,” the red-headed witch said confidently. “Why should this year be any different?”

“I don’t know,” Marlene shrugged. “It has been though. You’ve got Lionel to work with – dragging you down a bit in Potions if you ask me. Plus Potter’s been less pranks and more studies this year thanks to Katie. You’re getting practically identical in-class marks these days.”

Lily shot Marlene a dirty look.

“Hey, I’m just playing devil’s advocate!” her friend protested.

“And apparently keeping a ledger of mine and Potter’s grades…”

“I’m not keeping any ledger. It’s just hard to miss.”

“Well, it’s not a competition. I’m just–”

Both other girls broke out laughing.

“What?” Lily huffed.

“I’m sorry, Lily,” Alana said, still giggling, “It’s just…class is _always_ a competition with you.”

“I remember the day I worked out that Transfiguration assignment before you. You acted fine, but you were so furious!” Marlene added. “And that was the last time I worked out an assignment before you did if I remember.”

“Hmph,” Lily grumbled. “I just try to put in my best effort.”

Alana and Marlene rolled their eyes before exchanging amused glances.

“Besides,” Lily continued, “I always have Charms.”

“And Potter always has Transfiguration,” Marlene rebutted, wagging an eyebrow.

On the end of Marlene’s bed where she was seated, Lily crossed her arms and scowled.

“Merlin…we’re going to drive her to the library,” the blonde-haired witch chuckled.

Lily glared at them. “Why don’t we talk about summer? I think I’m going to be stuck at home again so please tell me you have plans I can live vicariously through.”

“Afraid not,” Marlene said.

Alana shook her head. “Nope. Parents are saving for the wedding…and the honeymoon…and the house.”

“They’re buying your sister a _house_?” Lily gaped.

“Well…technically they’re buying–“

“It’s a house!”

Marlene shrugged. “This is what the fancies do. You know that. My family’s just saving for a bloody cruise. It’ll probably take years.”

“Hey!” Alana said.

“You know I’m playing.”

“Where’s it going to be?” Lily asked.

“No clue. They want something upscale inland. Still have to choose North or South. I don’t think they’ll go for Scotland.”

Lily laughed. Upscale inland? She had no idea where to start with that, but it felt good to be here again.

As Lily emerged downstairs she was surprised to find the common room almost empty. Of course it was just her luck that the lone exception was Potter. His black hair was messier than ever as he stared down intently at an open book. If that sight wasn’t unexpected enough, he had a stack of several others nearby. Quiet as it was, she was surprised her simple arrival hadn’t drawn his attention, but now she hoped to take a window seat without his notice. The last thing she needed after her friends’ harassment was contact with Potter.

Just as she sat down gingerly without making so much as a peep, her bag slipped from the seat, striking the stone floor with a loud thump. Good fortune seemed to be avoiding her like the plague tonight.

“Hello Evans,” Potter said brightly.

“Hello…” she replied, dragging herself from the window seat to pick up her belongings.

As she reached out for a roll of parchment that had bounced some distance away, she was surprised to encounter a hand already on it. Looking up, she saw it was Potter’s. Surprisingly his other hand contained more of her things. The empty inkwell she had charmed to serve as a magnet at home. Some spare golden ribbon she occasionally used to tie back her hair. Even a quill that had somehow fluttered in his direction. Realizing they both still had hold of the parchment, she jerked her hand back quickly.

Potter didn’t comment on her withdrawal, instead simply offering her things back to her with a smile that, if Lily’s eyes weren’t playing tricks on her, was genuinely friendly. “Figured I’d help,” he said simply.

“Thanks,” she said quietly.

“You know, you don’t have to sit alone over there,” he said casually, jerking his head toward the many empty seats near him.

“I know,” she answered quickly. “I just wanted–”

“You just wanted to avoid me,” he interrupted. “Don’t worry, I get it.”

“I wasn’t–”

“Yes you were,” he said firmly. He paused briefly before frowning and shaking his head. “You don’t have to lie you know.”

“Fine. I wanted to avoid you,” she huffed. “Feel better?”

Potter shrugged. “A little.”

“What are you working on with all those books anyway?” Lily asked.

“Charms,” he said groaning.

“Charms? We don’t even have an assignment.”

“An assignment? Since when do I need an assignment to encourage me to do a bit of light reading?”

“Since our first lesson of first year?” Lily answered, incredulous.

“More like since I was born,” he admitted. “Still, I actually do have an assignment. Set it myself at the beginning of the year.”

“Setting goals now too?” Lily teased. “That’s progressive of you.”

“I knew you’d be shocked.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “I’ll bite. What are you up to then?”

“Nothing major,” he shrugged. “Just trying to usurp the throne from the cleverest student in our year. I know,” he said, raising his hands in surrender. “Don’t think you have much to worry about. I’ve already been told it’s impossible.”

Lily paused, consciously focusing on keeping her jaw from dropping.

“Though I do feel obligated to warn you,” he started, “I _am_ quite dangerous when I’m motivated.”

Furrowing her brow, she decided to simply ask the question on her mind. “Why?”

James shrugged again. “What can I say Evans? I’m evolving.”

Lily harrumphed.

“Anyway,” he began again, “in all seriousness, those window seats are dreadfully uncomfortable. You should take the couch,” he finished, gesturing toward the large plush sofa across from where he had been seated earlier. “And I promise I won’t be a bother. I’ve got enough on my hands.”

Lily considered his offer. She generally enjoyed the window seats for the view, but rain had blown in while she had been talking upstairs and the clouds made it impossible to catch a pleasant glimpse of the moon or stars. It was late. The couch would be far more comfortable.

“Alright,” she answered.

Potter looked a bit surprised she’d acquiesced, but he quickly moved over to the table between his seat and the couch, tidying up his area to make room for her. He even took the trouble to shove the stack of heavy books back into his bag. She had never seen true courtesy from him before. Lily stopped herself at that thought. It wasn’t exactly true. He had kept her from looking a complete fool after Potions at the beginning of the year. He had picked up her things then too.

“I’ve made room,” he offered, “Wasn’t going to get to those tonight anyway.”

“I wouldn’t think so,” Lily said as she took a seat on the couch an began unloading her bag. “Don’t you have practice tomorrow?”

“I do,” Potter replied, raising an eyebrow. “Though I have to say, I’m surprised you’d know that.”

“Marlene,” she said simply.

“Right,” he nodded. “She is quite the fan…”

“She supports the team,” Lily said sharply.

“Yeah…exactly,” Potter answered, puzzled by the intensity of her reaction. “Does a bloody good job of it too.”

The slightest frown crossed Lily’s face at his last statement. Though she’d tried to quickly suppress it, once she saw the intrigued expression on Potter’s face, she realized she hadn’t moved quickly enough.

“Is the trio having trouble in paradise?” he asked.

“Not at all,” she scoffed, “I was just thinking of where to start fixing this Transfiguration essay.”

Potter didn’t press the point further. “I could take a look at it for you.”

“Hardly,” Lily said harshly. “I thought you weren’t going to bother me?”

“Right…” he nodded. “I just thought maybe I could look at that and maybe you could help me with this business on 693 and 694…”

“Methods of protection against the Flagrante Curse?” she asked, peering over the book stretched out in Potter’s hands. “Hardly a fair trade.”

“And yet the essay is due tomorrow…”

“And you don’t even need to know what you’re looking at.”

“But you know it. And besides, why should I _need_ to know it? Something wrong with me just _wanting_ to?”

“Of course not–”

“Fine. And I’m asking for your help. You know I don’t do that often. I’ll even help you first.”

“I have a lot to do…” Lily resisted. “There wouldn’t be time.”

“It’s fine. I’ll help you tonight and then you can help me later. You know, whenever you’re free.”

Lily looked at Potter skeptically. “I could just refuse later…”

“I know. But you wouldn’t.”

Lily closed her eyes and twisted her neck until it cracked. She noticed Potter waiting patiently for her answer as she put her long red hair into a ponytail. “Okay,” she relented. “It’s a deal.”

She was surprised as Potter extended a hand toward her.

“What?” she asked, legitimately puzzled.

“I just figured it might be easier to help if I’d actually read the thing.”

Parchment in hand, Lily hesitated. She had never allowed another student to actually _read_ one of her essays before, not even Marlene or Alana. It would be especially disquieting to expose her work to Potter of all people. And after a professor as exacting as McGonagall had marked up her draft…but she was spared. As if sensing her discomfort, Potter withdrew his hand and scooted back slightly in his chair.

“I…” she started, feeling an odd obligation to make amends in some way.

“Don’t worry about it. So…conjuration of complex creatures?”

“Right…” she began before hesitating again.

Potter cocked his head slightly and raised his eyebrows. “Look Evans, if you want to do this on your own I’m not going to be offended. I mean I’m sure we’re talking about the difference between an Outstanding and even more Outstanding anyway…”

Lily swallowed her pride. “No. I do want your help.” She looked down at the heavily marked up section of her essay for a moment before lifting her eyes tentatively is his direction. “I guess I just haven’t had much practice asking.”

She braced herself for his smirk. That incredibly vexing, infinitely irritating little curl of the right side of his lip as he derived smug satisfaction from the smallest moment of superiority. But it never came.

“Yeah, I’d imagine not,” he said, shaking his head with a slight chuckle. “You _are_ bloody brilliant after all. Easy to get used to people coming to you I’ll bet.”

“I suppose so,” Lily admitted.

A brief silence hung in the air between them.

“So what’s the hang up?” he ventured.

“It’s the whole concept really – the valuation. I mean I know the formula of course. Normally I don’t have a problem solving it…McGonagall _always_ gives us objects or creatures in the tables, but this time…”

“No table,” James finished.

“Exactly.”

“Well you’ve just got to think outside the box, Evans.”

“That’s not really what I do…”

“Sure you do. You do it in Charms all the time. I mean Slughorn won’t stop talking about that ruddy fish you gave him…”

“But Charms is different,” Lily protested. “Transfiguration is so exact. There’s no room to be inventive.”

“Pssh!” he scoffed. “Course there is. I mean, think about it, when we did the Bird-Conjuring Spell, did everybody conjure the exact same bird?”

“Of course not.”

“Right. Because lots of us were thinking of different birds. The fundamentals are rigid, sure. But the spells themselves…very malleable. Except for the wand movements of course.”

“That’s not the same though…the essay is about the _exact value_ of the formula.”

“And my point is that there isn’t one. There never really has been. Clearly the table isn’t an exhaustive list of things you could possibly conjure. And even if you conjure a sparrow and I conjure a sparrow, there are going to be differences…size, appearance, even temperament depending on your purpose.”

“So you’re saying I should estimate these things?”

“I’m saying use the table, but more as a point of reference. And just explain it.”

“But she wants a value…”

“And she _knows_ nobody can actually give her one. It’s McGonagall. Her essays have always been a bit sadistic. She’s banking on most everyone giving her some simple answer, trying to justify some passage out of a textbook,” Potter finished animatedly.

Lily sighed and then frowned. It was a big risk to take. If Potter was wrong it would blow up in her face. And he did say he was gunning for her at the top of the class. Certainly misdirection wasn’t beneath him. She would revisit the table. At worst she’d be stuck with the Exceeds Expectations she already had. It wasn’t as if Potter would expand his lead in Transfiguration too greatly just on this one assignment. The best he’d get was help with a topic that wouldn’t even be tested this year.

She smiled sweetly. “You know Potter, you’ve actually been a big help,” she lied. “I think I should just be able to finish this up tomorrow before class,” she added, feigning happiness.

He gave her a sort of seated bow, dramatically flourishing his hand. “Glad to be of service,” he said. “Have a good night Evans.”

“You too,” she said politely, packing her belongings into her bag once more.

As she ascended the stairs, she smiled. She was too smart to be fooled by James Potter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So first, Peter finally pulled his prank! Coming up with an idea not so simplistic as to be unworthy of praise, but not so complicated as to require more than one Marauder or to defy believability (which hopefully this didn’t) proved to be a way bigger challenge than I expected. Major props to the Marauders Era authors who can write so many interesting pranks because it’s just downright hard. 
> 
> As far as a little preview, my plan is to wrap up sixth year in the next four to five chapters. Again, I’ll beg you not to hold me to that as a promise, but I think we’re just about ready for summer, when to be as simultaneously vague and blunt as possible, things will go down. I’ll also delve into some other issues I’ve been meaning to address, but found difficult to explore during the school year with everything else that had to be handled. 
> 
> Most importantly, I’d been totally remiss if I didn’t close with a massive thank you to all of you loyal readers out there who are sticking with this story! 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	24. Three Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Well I want to know about us. Not me.'

As Gryffindor’s final match of the season approached, this year against Slytherin with the Cup on the line, James narrowly completed another pass of the quaffle before he was thumped hard in the lower back by a bludger. Pitching forward sharply and narrowly maintaining his grip on his broom, he whistled the play to a halt as Maggie’s shot toward the left hoop was saved.

Whipping his head around, James saw his two beaters shouting at one another. “Oi! Break it up!” he shouted.

Sirius scowled at his compatriot as James rapidly closed the distance between them.

“Bloody waste of our final play,” the Captain barked. “Which of you decided it’d make a brilliant finish to hit me in the back?”

Sirius crossed his arms and stared pointedly at Rafe.

“Spurling?”

The fifth-year shrugged. “Sorry…”

“Hell,” James snapped. “What’s wrong with you today? You’ve been a nightmare with a bat. I haven’t seen you this bad since your first match.”

“I don’t know…O.W.L.s maybe…I’ve not got much sleep lately…”

James let his irritation ebb before responding. “Well just sort yourself out mate. We’ve got a Cup to win. We can’t afford these mistakes against Slytherin.”

Rafe nodded, accepting pats on the back from James and Sirius before diving for the ground to join the rest of the team.

James turned to his best friend. “You wanted to talk after practice?”

Sirius looked away, his features uncharacteristically solemn.

“Well get on with it,” James said tersely.

“I’m sorry, alright?” Sirius replied quickly.

“Excuse me?”

“I said I’m sorry,” the beater repeated. “You know, for the blowing up at you. For the past two weeks. I was in a bad spot and I went out of bounds.”

James nodded slowly. “Appreciate it, Padfoot. But you know I’m not the only person you owe an apology…”

“I know.”

“You’re lucky she’s cooled off a bit.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” James said pointedly.

“Well, I’ll figure it out. Make things right somehow. Any suggestions?”

“Starting the conversation with ‘sorry’ is probably the best one. And don’t make any excuses.”

“Right. So we can put this behind us then? Get back to normal?”

“Course mate. That’s all I ever needed to hear. I was getting a bit worried it’d drug on this long.”

“You know how I am with apologies Prongs.”

“You mean how you never give them?” James chuckled.

Sirius harrumphed.

“I do want you to do me a favor too…” James ventured.

Sirius hung his head. “Do I want to know?”

“Course you do. It’s nothing terrible. Just want you to sabotage the double in Katie and my double-date to Hogsmeade next weekend.”

“I thought I was supposed to be winning her over…”

“And you will. Eventually. It’s just one of those things, ‘can’t say no’ situations witches get in.”

Sirius shot James a perturbed glare. “Who’s the mark?”

“Katie’ll give you the details.”

“ _Katie_? The way she’s feeling toward me, she’s bound to hang me out to dry!”

“All the more reason to be sincere when you deliver that apology.” James winked.

“Right.”

“This kind of public service will do you good, Padfoot,” James chuckled before he dove toward the ground.

“Yeah. Just what I need,” Sirius deadpanned, shaking his head and exhaling before he swiftly followed suit.

After dinner, James found himself flopped out on the soft cushions of a couch in the Gryffindor Common Room. One hand held a well-worn book titled _Ministry Manual for Quidditch B Badge Candidates_ , while the other rested comfortably on his girlfriend’s hip. Katie was snuggled into him closely as she pored over their Defense Against the Dark Arts text. Even without seeing her face, he could picture it in his mind perfectly. Her pale blue eyes were doubtless laced with determination, her brow and nose slightly scrunched as she read the passages before her. Of course, the pages hadn’t turned in a few minutes. Perhaps she was re-reading now, the left side of her mouth twitching in consternation at whatever part of the text was vexing her. Sighing he tossed the manual unceremoniously onto the table where it landed with a loud thump.

Startled, Katie sat up and closed her book. She looked back at James, who had seized the opportunity to slide into a more upright position, his arm now resting idly on the arm of the couch behind him.

“You were distracting me,” he said with a shrug and a playful smile.

Katie frowned. “How was I distracting you? I was minding my own business reading when you threw that brick onto the table,” she grumbled, gesturing toward the large manual laying before them. “Now I’ve lost my place,” she huffed.

“Just forget it. You don’t have to have that bit read for days.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re a master duelist. Some of us are actually sweating our marks in this little tournament Osorio’s setting up.”

“Let me help you then…” James insisted.

Katie sighed. “I’ve already told you–”

“I know, I know,” James interrupted. “You don’t want my help. You want to do it all on your own. It’s not a crime asking you know…”

“I’m well aware,” she replied tersely. “But I’m not going use my talented boyfriend to improve my marks.”

“Katie…” he started, fixing her with a reproaching stare, “it’s hardly _using_ me when I’m offering.”

She sighed. “I _know_ …I just…I need to be able to do it on my own. We’ve been over this and you’ve said you’d accept it,” she warned.

“Alright!” he exclaimed, raising his hands in surrender.

Two hours later, she was lost in her third time reading about the comparative advantages and disadvantages of the Serpent Pose when she heard a light snore. Easing herself out of James’s light grip, she closed the book and sat up, turning her head to check on him. The arm holding the manual was now hanging fully extended off the edge of the couch, the binding of the book itself nearly touching the stone floor. Her boyfriend’s glasses were slightly askew on his face, his hazel eyes hidden behind closed eyelids as he lightly dozed. Slowly she reached up and eased his silver frames off his face, folding them carefully and laying them on the table. Leaning down, she gently extracted the manual from his hand and set it next to the glasses. Still, he slumbered on.

Katie rubbed her own eyes. She could hardly blame him. It must be terribly late by now and with practice earlier in the day and her promise to catch up with Marie and Renee before studying, they had gotten a late start. She smiled contentedly, wondering how she had gotten so lucky. Of course, that drew her thoughts right back to the earlier conversation. For so long her friends had been happy for her about James, even if they were a bit worried around the three month mark. Now though, they seemed to have cooled. To Katie, their relationship was better than ever and just before summer they would celebrate six months together. Still, it was exactly that milestone which Marie and Renee claimed gave them pause. And tonight wasn’t the first time they had said so. While she had hidden it well, their concern had been niggling at her since it was first voiced a little over a month ago. Nervously, Katie looked around the common room and was pleased to find it empty. She gently shook her boyfriend by the shoulder.

“Wha-a?” James asked groggily. He scrunched his face momentarily before rubbing his eyes.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” Katie said softly. “I just…there’s something I wanted to talk about before going to bed.”

Shaking his head clear, James grabbed his glasses from the table and planted them back on his face. “Okay.”

Katie paused, unsure how to begin. She fidgeted on the couch, adjusting her position and then her skirt.

“Hey,” he prodded, “what’s wrong?”

She looked away. “It’s…ugh!” Katie groaned. “I told them I should just let it happen naturally…”

“Them?” James asked, scratching his head.

“Oh…Marie and Renee.”

James inhaled deeply. “Been talking about me have you?”

“Some…don’t let it go to your head though,” she warned.

“Me? Never…”

“Cheeky git,” Katie said, swatting his shoulder.

“And I take it that this mysterious ‘it’ is what you wanted to talk about?”

“Sort of. I guess it’s just that summer’s almost here. And I know things are different for us because we live in the same place, but I do still wonder…” she trailed off. “Merlin. I sound like _such_ a typical witch right now…”

James let the short-lived silence fill the air as he watched his normally composed girlfriend fiddle nervously with her hair.

“I guess I just need to know where we stand,” she said finally. “And where we’re headed. We’ve been together almost six months now, and next year is our last at Hogwarts–” she rambled on.

“Katie,” James interrupted. “Slow down.”

Katie looked down briefly as she felt her face flush. “Right. Sorry,” she said sheepishly, raising only her eyes to meet his.

“Don’t apologize,” he said gently. “Where do you want me to start?”

“Where we stand, I guess?”

“Well…I hope you know by now I think you’re brilliant. Independent. Witty. And of course beautiful…”

“I’m not looking for flattery James,” she said, crossing her arms. “This is serious.”

“I’m being serious!” he defended.

“Well I want to know about _us_. Not me.”

“Fine!” James replied quickly. “I mean…I can’t speak for you, but I think ‘us’ is great. Better than ever lately. More times than I’d care to admit, I’ve faded out on girls when we got into more of a routine. You’ve been…different. It’s like…comfortable has been _better_ this time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like tonight. We were both laying here, but we were doing completely different things. It would’ve driven me crazy before, but with you I actually enjoyed it.”

Katie’s nerves started to ease a bit. “I liked it too,” she said quietly. “Between our friends, our homework, and quidditch we don’t get much quiet time like that. Not just us anyway.”

“Yeah…I suppose that’s mostly my fault…”

“It’s fine James,” she reassured him.

“But you want more nights like tonight?”

“Maybe a few more here and there…” she offered.

James nodded. “Alright.”

“So what about summer?”

“Well it’ll be great right? I mean, we can see each other as much as we want…assuming your dad lets us. And Sirius doesn’t act like berk.”

“Don’t say that name to me,” Katie said sharply.

“Hey! I told you he’s going to apologize!”

“And when he does, you can bring him up again,” she grumped.

“ _Anyway_ , I’m looking forward to it. We’ll do loads of great stuff. No class, no homework, just free time–”

Katie scoffed. “Well some of us do have obligations, you know. _I_ don’t _have_ a house elf,” she said loftily.

“I suppose you’ll just have to borrow me then.”

“You’re going to help me with housework?” she asked skeptically.

“Well, to be honest I don’t know much of anything about it. But maybe I’d learn something, right?”

Katie laughed. “You’re enough of a dolt to volunteer to do housework. I’d say you’ve got a lot to learn.”

“A dolt?!”

“Don’t be sore,” she soothed, leaning forward to kiss James tenderly on the lips.

He crossed his arms and donned a fake pout.

“Poor thing,” Katie teased, kissing him again, this time on the cheek he had turned away from her. “You may be a dolt, but you’re my dolt.”

James relented, turning back towards his girlfriend. “I suppose there are worse things to be…”

“Yes…you could be an occasionally immature prankster who’s always winding up in detention...” she jabbed.

James scowled.

Katie giggled, her concerns far away from her conscious mind as she enjoyed their playful banter. She laughed louder as James turned away from her again. When he failed to respond to her verbal entreaties, she reached around with an arm, trying to pull him toward her. “Hey you! Come back!” she demanded.

James stuck his nose in the air. “Why come back where I’m clearly not appreciated?”

“Fine then, two can play at that game,” Katie shot back, picking up her forgotten book and opening it to read further. For a minute or two she watched James out of the corner of her eye, waiting for him to do something, but when two minutes grew into three, she decided he was testing her. If he wanted to see who would break first, she could be stubborn…

Suddenly, she was laughing again as her boyfriend’s fingers tickled her ribs mercilessly.

“Hey! Th-a-at’s not…tha-t’s not…f-fair!” she yelped between fits of uncontrollable giggling.

“Say you’re sorry,” James smirked.

“I…I…n-never!” she protested.

The tickling increased and her book flopped onto the floor with a loud thump. “Ja-Ja-mes! S-st-st-op!” she insisted.

“Say you’re sorry,” he repeated firmly, pressing his arms in closer as she tried to ball herself up to protect against the onslaught.

“Let me…le-et me br-breathe then!” she gasped out.

As soon as it had begun, the tickling stopped, though she could feel James’s fingers were still close enough to strike again. “I’m sorry,” she said, putting on her most innocent and contrite face for him. “Besides, you know I love you.”

For Katie, time immediately stood still. Her cheeks, already flushed from tickling, burned as she felt heat rise to her face. What was she thinking? How could she have been so _stupid_? She had been careful all night, even during their conversation and then to let it slip out like that. Her eyes immediately searched James’s. He was surprised at her spontaneous confession. That much was clear. But almost immediately that emotion was replaced by another look she didn’t recognize. His mouth broke into a broad smile.

“I love you too,” he said simply, using his strong arms to pull her up and into his waiting kiss. When they broke apart, the two Gryffindors simply stared at one another for a moment before Katie eased herself into her boyfriend’s arms, resting her tired head on his chest. Together they shared a blissful silence, enjoying the feeling of what each could now freely call the other’s loving embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is a obviously a bit shorter than the last few have been. While I had always planned to write these two scenes next as I felt they were both due, I wrestled with both of them and did a lot of writing, editing, deleting, and re-writing in here as I tried to strike the proper tone and progression. That also made me decide to split the chapter I had originally planned here into pieces, leaving the next three or four scenes until Chapter 26 where they can be more fully developed and hopefully more impactful.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	25. Two Funerals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were already two more schedule for later that day.

A heavy mist fell from the low clouds over as the amorphous mass of black moved over the meadow as it made tentative progress toward its destination across the grassy expanse. For a few minutes, the blob disappeared into a dip between the meadow’s wet and rolling hills, before suddenly emerging on the distant slope. This time it climbed slowly, watchful wizards testing the earth with their toes before gallantly leading their witches forward. Finally they crested the large mound, gathering in a circle of black umbrellas around a smaller, fresher mound of earth. Only one stood apart.

Father Earl Drayton waited quietly behind the small gray headstone. Aside from the sound of the light rain splattering the nearby umbrellas, he could hear the familiar symphony of sobs and sniffles contrasted with the barely perceptible sound of skin rubbing against skin as others tried to maintain their silent, tearless stoicism. As a priest he was no stranger to death and certainly not to funerals, both magical and Muggle. Still, it was undeniable that there had been an alarming increase in the former. Before him stood a bizarre gathering of members from the two societies. It was always a delicate dance with first generation half-bloods. Though the ceremonies themselves were largely similar, the schism was always clear. Another example was before him now, watching three pall bearers grasping the handles of the shiny mahogany coffin whilst the others held wands, levitating it. Fr. Drayton nodded as they arrived, settling their burden on the apparatus above the empty hole.

“Friends and loved ones,” he solemnly began, “we are gathered today to honor the life of Martin Lankford, a humble man who spent his time on Earth shining the light of his love into the darkest corners of our world. To all who knew him, Martin was a gentle spirit, compassionate and caring, but his quiet nature did nothing to weaken the ferocity of his friendship. Indeed, Martin’s departure to the embrace of his Heavenly Father came in defense of a friend and fellow Hufflepuff. Though his passing strikes a blow to us all, we must remember in life the lessons Martin taught us in death. In the face of darkness and evil there is no more valiant calling than the one to lay down one’s life in defense of the rights and lives of those less protected.” The priest closed his eyes and bowed his head, unable to carry on with more platitudes as the rain picked up. “Pray with me for the commitment of Martin’s soul to our Creator and an eternal future filled with unending joy in His presence.”

The Muggles gathered came forward to touch or place a rose on the coffin’s wet lid before turning away. When the last were safely clear of the area, Fr. Drayton joined the witches and wizards that remained in raising his wand toward the sky. Channeling their energies, light illuminated the outstretched tips in a salute to the dead man’s sacrifice. Briefly, the clouds broke in just the right place, sunlight gleaming down through the wetness and onto the fallen wizard’s coffin. Allowing it to be bathed in light for several silent minutes, the group finally lowered their arms and left the mass of mahogany and metal to the approaching wizards responsible for interring it. Amidst the suddenly restored dimness, they set about their work with a hurried dignity. Fr. Drayton shook his head grimly. There were already two more scheduled for later that day.

Samuel Robbins breathing was ragged as his heart pounded in his chest. As he passed tree after tree in the darkness, he wondered how it had come to this. It was a simple editorial… The pain of his effort bit into his ribs as he sprinted through the woods near his cottage. The smooth soles of his dress shoes struggled desperately to grip tightly to the soft ground beneath him. He brushed a thick trail of sweat from his brow with a sleeve of his expensive silk shirt. Behind him the whooping and cackling continued. Derisory. Insulting. A recklessly fired spell cracked into the tree next to him, hissing as the bark burnt on impact. He had been wise to follow his instincts, fleeing when he had noticed the masked group, clad in all black approaching after they had breached his property’s protective wards.

The other side of that coin was that he had no time to change. He had tried to disapparate of course, but they had thought of that. Samuel had been a fit enough man in his youth, but now, after years behind a desk and too many hours each day spent monitoring the political maneuverings within the Ministry instead of training, he was in no state for this. He certainly didn’t need the handicap of long pants and ill-suited shoes. Now multiple spells were flashing past or cracking around him. The group was closing.

“Where are you running?” growled a deep voice from behind him.

“Not so brave without a quill!” yelled another gaily.

Suddenly he heard rushing water. How had he not thought of it? This edge of his property had been a terrible mistake to flee toward. He was minutes from a river he could never cross in the middle of this kind of fight. Still, he kept running. A spell grazed his arm, opening a gash that quickly began to leak blood freely. Another blasted the ground nearby, almost throwing him off his stride. Though the spell did not trip him, the distraction was just enough. Forgetting to slow, he bolted too quickly over the lip of a steep downward slope, his momentum forcing him to tumble onto his cut shoulder, rolling almost end over end until his body wrapped itself around a thick tree. He could scarcely breathe after the impact, a sharp pain accompanying each breath as he grabbed his ribs.

Samuel tried to drag himself up, but was immediately struck in the chest by a red light, sending him flying backward. His hand dove into his pocket in search of his wand as the shadowy figures closed on him.

“Looking for this?” one with long blonde hair asked, triumphantly holding Samuel’s wand up into the moonlight. “You won’t be needing it,” the figure spat, mercilessly snapping it in two.

Laughter rang out from all around him.

Panicked, he quickly scanned the area. The masked menaces fenced him in from every direction. He scuttled back on his bottom, pushing away as the blonde and another, thinner figure with jet black curls came ever nearer.

“It’s your turn,” the blonde said ominously as the black-haired figure raised a wand. While the arm was steady and the distinctive wand cut an intimidating silhouette, the hand shook slightly.

“Do it,” the blonde man hissed.

The voices around him began chanting. “Kill! Kill! Kill!” he heard.

The figure took a step forward.

“Kill! Kill!” they chanted.

The shaking stopped.

“Kill!” they urged.

The figure’s wand was inches from his chest as he sat dirty, bloodied, and terrified in the soft brown earth of his own forest.

“ _Avada Kedavra_!” the figure yelled.

Green enveloped his vision for an instant until suddenly, Samuel Robbins was no more.

As the light left his eyes, the figure’s spirit surged as cheers rang out around her. She had completed the mission. She had finally fully served the Dark Lord. It felt _good_ to be useful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Obviously the outside world is getting darker, a theme I wanted to re-address here as it will be important and feature with increasing prominence in the next half, and certainly the final portions of the story. What did you think of the final scene here? How about the literal funeral at the beginning?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	26. Nothing's Ever Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'She might be a keeper after all.'

Lying in wait for little Angie Morrison, Sirius almost felt bad about carrying out his mission. She was a decent enough girl if rather awkward. Not weird exactly, but definitely completely lacking in understanding social convention. Very nice really if he thought about it harder, but simply…irritating. That must’ve been how he got stuck in this situation. The younger girl must’ve boldly proposed doubling to Katie…when? Merlin knew.

He crept toward the stile, flitting in and out of shops and between buildings so he could make it to the rendezvous point undetected. James had promised they’d be there in…three minutes now. Strolling the village to start made a good excuse and given that few students ever went so far as the stile it was a place to make a clean break with maximum ease and minimum humiliation for Angie and her date. He’d seen her with some bloke he couldn’t remember as they passed the initial vantage point Sirius had taken.

Voices. Had to be them. Well…it was just about his moment. He felt like a damned fool in this disguise, but hey, he had to stay anonymous somehow. Footsteps drew closer. Sirius drew his wand. Time for a bit of temporary nausea and a nice coughing fit. The boy looked like a perfectly proper lad. He’d excuse James and Katie and worry over his poor companion.

Stepping out with a roar, he was immediately blasted in the chest with a strong spray of water. He tried to blubber out retaliation through the stream, but then his legs were gone and he was floating, feeling his trousers swell like a balloon.

“Put me down!”

The only response was laughter as the pair of Ravenclaws began dropping him and catching him just before he hit the ground. After a few tries he was hit with one more blast of water from…somewhere…and then finally released, a soggy, bedraggled mess. Surrounded by laughter, he picked himself up and shook off, as much toward James as he could. The bastard.

“Thanks Robert,” Katie said.

The boy nodded. “No problem. Nice to get one back on him. Especially since he was up to mess with Ang.” He turned toward Sirius and shook his head before the pair walked off.

“What the hell, mate!”

James simply stared. Katie, beside him, covered her mouth with her arm trying to hide a fit of laughter. She seemed to be watching him nonetheless as he set about drying himself off. Finishing with his clothes he started tending his hair, which now lived up to the “mop” description his mother had always spat at him.

“Learned something, have you?” James asked.

“You said we were fine! I apologized!”

“We were. Are. Katie thought you needed to know she likes pranks too.”

She winked.

He tried to keep scowling, but found it melting away for some reason. Uncrossing his arms he stepped forward and shook her hand. “Fair play to you…Sorry. Again.”

“I think we’re about even now,” she said, “even if James did dissuade me from making this happen in the middle of the village.”

A half-smile crept onto Sirius’s face as he looked down at the drenched stones under his feet. “Best watch that one,” he said. “She might be a keeper after all.”

Across the village, Lily was dragging Alana into Scrivenshaft’s very much against her will.

“Honestly, Lily? You’re going to make me look at paper with you again?”

Lily scowled. “It’s only for a moment. I promised Mum I’d write and I’m out of stationery.”

“You don’t need stationery.”

“I know I don’t _need_ it,” Lily sighed, “but I like using it. It’s like telling people from the off that they’re worth more than just a spare bit of parchment. Besides, I’ve seen you using it.”

Alana rolled her eyes. “Under duress. I’ve been commissioned to help write wedding invitations. I thought they ought to save some money somewhere and use one of those Quik Quills that mimics the owner’s handwriting, but apparently it isn’t ‘proper’ to do.”

“Of course it’s not,” Lily laughed. “ _I_ wouldn’t use a typewriter.”

Having finally gotten Alana – all crossed arms and arguments – out of the doorway, Lily ushered her forward past the aisles of school supplies and cheap items like scroll cases and paperweights. She’d always thought it was something of an odd set-up for a store that already received plenty of ridicule from students. First, it confronted people with items most were tired of seeing and using by their first trip. Then on top of it, the shelving made the spaces very closed and narrow. It wasn’t until you moved almost a third of the way across the store that it opened into an expansive, welcoming space that eschewed shelves for orderly stacks on meticulously organized tables of varying heights that visitors could walk among.

Lily thought the tables were brilliant. Making selections was so much easier when you could look at the products from the top down, seeing them as you might if you were the recipient opening post at your table. Not to mention the various shapes and patterns that the proprietor and his son treated like an art form.

As she looked toward the window she saw that Alana, despite her grousing, had wandered off toward the section dubbed ‘Professional Post’ and was more than casually perusing the selections. At least she was taking a step forward with applications coming up. Lily knew better than to press the issue, but she’d started to worry that it was only she and Marlene talking about the subject. Alana didn’t need to perhaps…her family was, like Marlene’s quite wealthy, but she ran hot and cold on her mother’s business and certainly had no interest in her father’s.

She frowned. They didn’t have her standard in stock. “Lucas?” she called.

“Lily! Such a pleasure to see you!” the older man took her by both arms. “Look at this. Hard to believe you’re soon to graduate.”

“I know,” she said, smiling back. “It doesn’t feel so long ago that I was here on my first trip to Hogsmeade.”

“I feel like it’s been that long we’ve been in here…” Alana muttered, suddenly behind her.

Lucas laughed. “I take it your friend doesn’t share your enthusiasm for what we offer?”

“She pretends,” Lily said, turning her head back around to look at her friend. “I saw you browsing over there. Looks like you’ve gotten something even.”

“Obligatory.”

“Of course,” Lucas nodded. “Sarah will ring you out.” He turned his attention back to Lily. “Now. What did _you_ call me for?”

“Oh. I noticed you don’t have the thirty weight pale.”

“Ahh. Yes. A lot of Ministry notices going out lately. They’ve transitioned to that as it’s more easily quick-printed. I believe I have a few left in back. Been holding them in reserve in case they claim we’ve undershipped, but I can part with one. Adding the usual styling?”

Lily nodded. “I really appreciate it, Lucas. It’s not going to cause you trouble is it?”

“No, no,” he insisted, “they’re buying directly from the manufacturers now. We’re just waiting our turn.”

A few minutes later she was outside again, strolling off to meet Marlene.

“Took you long enough,” Alana muttered.

“ _You_ be quiet,” Lily scowled. “You’ve got a bag yourself haven’t you?”

Alana stuck out her tongue.

The rest of the short walk to the Three Broomsticks was in silence as the two girls picked their way through the crowds of third and fourth years still on a high from the experience and the freedom to spend an entire weekend enjoying the village. As they approached, Lily’s hopes that Marlene had already secured a table were dashed.

“Oi! Coming through!” Marlene barked as she tried to shove her way through the packs that were already waiting. Suddenly she rounded one of Craig Bamford’s friends, a fellow Ravenclaw named Roger O’Flaherty. “Hands off you little blighter!”

The boy appeared to be trying to defend himself, but Marlene kept at him, the snarls and retorts being drowned out by the rising murmurs of the large crowd.

“Excuse me,” Lily said, pressing forward. “Yes, thank you, excuse me…” She found the pair nose to nose, Marlene insisting he’d grabbed her arse and Roger, vehement in his denials, accusing her of trying to cut the queue. Lily grabbed the back of Marlene’s robe. “We’ll let you both sort out the details later, Roger,” Lily smiled, pulling her friend away.

“What is wrong with you?” Marlene snapped.

Lily crossed her arms. “Me? I’ve just saved you – again – from coming to blows with someone.”

“Someone who _grabbed my arse_!” she yelled back toward the crowd.

A collective “sod off, McKinnon” came back.

“Can you ever just get the table, Marlene?” asked Alana.

She groaned in response, smoothing her blonde hair back into place. “Well. Where are we going then?”

Alana looked askance at her. “I’m _not_ doing the Hog’s Head again…”

“Puddifoot’s then? There are three of us,” Lily offered.

Alana shrugged.

Marlene threw up her hands. “I’m not the obstacle. I’ve always liked their cupcakes.”

“That’s it then,” Lily said, nodding curtly. “We’re there for the cupcakes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A relatively short update this time after a wholesale rewrite of the previous content which I felt did a serious disservice to all involved, without meaningfully resolving the conflict between Sirius and Katie or explaining how James’s best friend came to terms with the relationship.
> 
> I also wanted to take a step forward in the process of revising the story to give a bit more depth to the friends of our co-leading ladies and their friendship independent of relationships. Though they’ll gain addition dimension later, I felt that at chapter twenty-six exploration of them in a similar manner to the Marauder dynamic on occasion was both appropriate and overdue.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	27. A Battle of Wills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'What's the point of waiting when I can wipe that smirk off your face now?'

The grumbling of sixth year students made conversation in the Transfiguration classroom nearly impossible as students hurriedly gathered their belongings. Most took extra care to hide the special corrective ink covering their essays, but Lily simply stared at her own length of parchment in stunned silence. Across the room she could distantly hear Potter and his little band slapping hands and whooping. As Professor McGonagall tutted her disapproval, Lily noticed that her friends had left. It was for the best, she considered. Marlene and Alana were used to her foul moods after unexpectedly low marks by now and made sure to give the redhead wide berth. As if the fates had conspired to darken her day further, Lily found James waiting for her as she exited.

“What did I tell you, Evans? _Outstanding_!” he exclaimed. “Did you see the rest of those sops? Staring at McGonagall’s ink just getting more and more irritated?”

“I saw,” Lily snapped.

“No need to get short,” he answered quickly. “McKinnon not fare so well?”

“Marlene did just fine,” she replied tersely. “I just don’t appreciate you and your friends’ need to gloat over every little victory.”

James frowned. “I’m hardly gloating. We waited until everyone else was gone to let loose. Besides, now it’s just the two of us.”

Lily grimaced. “It’s still in poor taste,” she muttered sourly. “Did you need anything else?”

“I don’t suppose…” James’s shoulder slumped into a half-shrug. “Congratulations anyway Evans,” he said sincerely before looking away briefly.

Glad to be rid of the interruption so she could go stew herself, Lily abruptly walked away, leaving Potter in her wake. As she stalked down the now-empty hallway, her red-soaked parchment angrily crumpled in her robes, she rued submitting a revision at all now. She cursed McGonagall’s policy. What professor honestly gave _lower_ marks on revisions? Making her way to an empty classroom, she sat down and unfurled the assignment again, each criticism hitting her like a physical blow. _Incorrect_. _Common misconception_. _Pedestrian analysis_. The words disgusted her. Still worse was the note that accompanied the mark.

 _Miss Evans_ –

_I am not certain what distracted you from the task at hand, but I can assure you that while this type of fixation on the known and wholly unoriginal approach to non-textual problem-solving may suffice to earn you a passing grade on N.E.W.T.-level examinations, it is far from your best. Furthermore, it is far from what I would consider remotely acceptable for a student aspiring to be admitted to the Ministry’s Academy of Magical Development and Research. Regrettably, this revision is also far more meandering and lacking in substance than even your original submission and accordingly, I have exercised my reserved discretion to downgrade your mark._

_ACCEPTABLE_

Furious, she balled it up once more, throwing it across the room. She thought back to Potter’s smug, self-satisfied expression as she had exited. Marlene’s words echoed in her head simultaneously. Was it possible? Could Potter really catch her at the top of the class? He had always bettered her in Defense and Transfiguration, but the margins were normally so infinitesimally small that her dominance in Charms and Potions, coupled with her more focused approach to schoolwork generally allowed her to surpass him, even if only just. Of course, things were still too close for her liking. And the prat would be positively insufferable if he finished the year top of the class. Lily’s nostrils flared as her mind ran over the possibilities like a runaway train. He was unbelievable really. Somehow the Professors, aside from Slughorn, all liked him in spite of his penchant for rule-breaking. Even the Headmaster got a twinkle in his eye. In the student body almost everyone aside from the Slytherins seemed to be under his spell. And if he finished top of the class…captained Gryffindor to the Quidditch Cup…continued his little public fairytale with Katie Wallenby…it was infuriating to consider.

“I’ll just have to work harder,” she huffed to herself. “Much harder.”

Lily sat down, grabbed the necessary implements and immediately began whipping up an improved study schedule for the remainder of the year. She could study during quidditch instead of being drawn into gossip with her roommates. That would afford her a serious advantage. And if she could get out of attending the game, that could be _hours_ of extra time. Her friends would understand. She always worked hard, this year it would just be a bit more.

After carefully scripting out her new schedule, Lily set off to find Alana and Marlene, finally happening upon them amongst the many students pretending to study in the courtyard.

“Hello, Lily…” Alana greeted her cautiously.

“All better now?” Marlene asked.

“Much. I’ve got a more rigorous schedule set up and I don’t think I’ll have anything to worry about.”

Alana laughed. “You _never_ have anything to worry about Lily…”

“I assume we’ll be seeing even less of you than usual,” Marlene inquired.

“Only a little! I just tweaked things to add studying during quidditch times.”

Marlene rolled her eyes.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“ _What_?”

“It’s just funny. You were so confident a month ago, and now you’re actually scared James Potter might catch you.”

Lily harrumphed. “Hardly. I just want to make up for today’s assignment.”

Marlene shot her best friend a knowing stare.

“I’d be more worried about beating him in Osorio’s tournament than at exams. Obviously you’ll do better than him on most of the formal stuff.”

“I’m not worried about the tournament. I’ve learned plenty of new tricks to throw at him from the library since our last duel.”

“And if you think he doesn’t already know those ‘new’ tricks,” Marlene warned, “you’re fooling yourself.”

“I suppose we’ll see…” Alana offered diplomatically.

“I’m more interested in my seed,” remarked Marlene. “I can’t believe he’s doing that. I mean, I feel decently, but some others…to just be openly labeled like that…worst in the class at dueling?”

“I think it’s refreshing,” Lily said, shrugging. “There’s no sense in people laboring under delusions. Especially in these times. Besides, they already know who they are. And being bottom of _our_ N.E.W.T. Defense class is hardly an indictment of their ability.”

“When is he posting the list?” Alana chirped up

“A few hours,” her two friends replied in unison.

Alana shook her head. “You two are _far_ too excited about this.”

The most exuberant members of the small throng of students that gathered around the parchment before heading to the Great Hall for dinner were easily the Marauders.

“Brilliant!” Sirius exclaimed. “Almost a clean sweep!”

Peter frowned at the number three scrawled in parentheses next to his name.

“Cheer up Wormtail!” James said brightly, clapping his friend on the back. “Osorio just had to throw the Slytherins a bone. We all know you’re more talented than Snivellus.”

“Excuse me?” Lily asked hotly.

“Oh for the love of–” James muttered under his breath before being interrupted.

“You’ve just been full of insults today, haven’t you Potter?”

“Evans…”

“You were mighty full of yourself after Transfiguration too.”

James looked down, shaking his head as he noticed the blob of students begin forming a semi-circle around them. He could hardly blame them. Though things had been calmer this year, it was safe to say that the student body still expected plenty of fireworks between the pair. With the dark mood Evans had been in earlier, it didn’t seem likely they would be disappointed. Still, if it was a row she wanted…

“I _congratulated_ you. And what do you care about _Snivellus_?” he continued, emphasizing the demeaning nickname. “He’s not around is he? Now that the pair of you aren’t attached at the hip?”

“We were _never_ attached at the hip,” she spat. “And I care because no one deserves the mistreatment you dole out from your little self-made throne.”

“At least you recognize it is self-made,” James shot back boldly.

“Nice!” encouraged Peter, high-fiving Sirius in the background.

“You’re insufferable!”

James chuckled, flashing the crowd his trademark smirk. The Gryffindors among them readily added their laughter to his. It was a rare moment these days when he had such thoughts, but he was pleased Katie had begged off joining them. It would really allow him to go full tilt. “The only one I see suffering is you. I’m not sure what’s driven you to such a foul mood, but you really ought to have it looked at.”

“The only thing that needs examination is your superiority complex.”

“Mine?” James inquired, mouth agape. “I’m not the one running about correcting people whose conversations I overhear in class in between polishing my prefect badge.”

“I don’t polish it! But what would you know? As if _you’d_ ever have one!”

“Forgive me,” James said sarcastically. “I think we will all note though how easily you’ve admitted to the eavesdropping and constant corrections.”

Her face flaming and twisted in anger, Lily lost control.

“SHUT UP POTTER!” she roared, brandishing her wand.

Gasps of surprise rang out amongst the students still assembled. Lily Evans had been known to lose her temper, especially where James Potter was involved, but drawing her wand aggressively was certainly new territory.

“I think you should save your strength for tomorrow…” James sniggered.

“What’s the point of waiting when I can wipe that smirk off your face now?”

James’s face hardened. “Put it away Evans,” he warned.

“I told you to shut up!” she barked, thrusting the enchanted stick forward menancingly.

“And I told _you_ to put it away,” he replied coolly, his hand inching toward his back pocket.

“Don’t think about it Potter!”

“Stop. Now,” James said firmly. “You wouldn’t want to do something you’ll regret.”

Lily inhaled deeply as his words sank in. She paused, nostrils flaring angrily as her breaths came quickly. Straightening herself, she pocketed her wand. “I’m done with you,” she said icily, straightening her robes before striding off toward the Great Hall with Marlene in tow.

“See you tomorrow, Evans!” James called out tauntingly after her.

Taking his position at the front of the classroom, Federico Osorio swiftly silenced the massed students with a well-timed clearing of the throat and his normal penetrating gaze. Before speaking, he smiled paternalistically over the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, which he had carefully arranged into four separate dueling areas.

“Welcome all of you to the _de facto_ practical portion of your examination. For those who do not remember and those who prefer to forget, I will remind you now that how you perform today will represent a full fifty percent of your final mark in my classroom. Rest assured that those who are knocked out early will have their opportunity for redemption, but also know this – those who underachieve will be judged. Those who overachieve will be rewarded.”

As the Italian’s words sank in, many of the students exchanged nervous glances. Practical examinations were already relatively unheard of at Hogwarts, even in the Defense classroom, but the professor’s words carried added weight. The fours and fives who had been seeded in the middle of the group were among those who appeared particularly uncomfortable.

“We will begin our duels with the imbalanced pairings,” Osorio continued. “In the upper-left, Mr. Potter will face Ms. Danforth. In the upper-right, Mr. Black will be challenged by Mr. Baird. In the lower-right, Mr. Lupin will duel Ms. Wallenby, while in the final area, Mr. Snape will oppose Mr. Wilkes.”

For the first half of class, the initial round was almost entirely unremarkable, the only upset coming when the sixth-seeded Maggie Brinkley upstaged fourth-seed Xander Flint. Sadly for those few cheering for her to make more noise, James swiftly dispatched her in the next round. Sirius was the next to earn a place in the semi-finals handily disposing of the challenge posed by Marlene. Though it was a closer fight, Remus also progressed quickly, using a breathtaking dodge and return salvo of hexes to defeat Peter.

The other quarterfinal duel however, was to prove far more intriguing. The long-haired wizard bowed deeply to the muggle-born witch across from him and their contest began. From the beginning, Snape surprised many with his inventive variations on commonplace spellwork, but Lily’s form-based approach served her well. Maintaining tight lines and precise movements, her charms successfully ended his, her ready counters proving stubbornly resistant to his hexes.

As the battle wore on, Severus despised the position he was in. Certainly in a classroom setting there was nothing he could do to truly harm Lily, but something felt unnatural about using offensive spells against her. His movements were too rapid, his adjustments too swift for her to do anything but play defensively early and yet his magic failed him. Where was the strength he knew his stunning spells possessed? Lily dodged his latest attack perfectly, sliding into position to finally launch one of her own.

Suddenly, the young Slytherin found himself facing a deluge of offensive magic. Making no attempt to hide it, she was boosting her spells as Potter had against her with her extra little flicks. None were too clever for Severus to repel, but she was wearing him down slowly with the sheer volume and swiftness of the onslaught. He tripled his shield as she doubled her _flipendo_ sending the spell flying rapidly back at his wide-eyed former friend. Severus smiled. She would not be hurt badly by this turn of events, but still, she would remember he had always been superior at this.

Unbelievably however, the reflected spell never struck home. Lily had produced a bizarre circular motion with her wand tip, seeming to catch the spell mid-air and re-direct it into the stone floor. With Severus’s wand and body over-extended in anticipation of his triumph, it proved only too easy for her to suddenly disarm him, ending their duel. She smiled confidently, tossing his wand back to him before turning on her heel to bask in her housemates’ adulation. Severus hung his head low, trudging back toward an equally dejected Avery and Mulciber. Had it been anyone else, he was sure he would have been filled with rage, but for Lily only overwhelming dissatisfaction claimed him. This is the one thing he had always had. The one way he always knew he remained worthy of her brilliance. How fitting that it had been she who had taken it from him.

As Potter ended Remus’s run with a bold charge forward and swift attacks that fatigued and then felled him, Lily waited expectantly. Having been paired with him frequently enough since Osorio’s little switch she knew to expect the unexpected, but still, the talented Gryffindor found herself disconcerted by the ease with which he had prevailed and the total lack of consistency in his strategy. In three rounds he had succeeded using three approaches – first patience, second power, and finally speed. Lily knew all too well from their first confrontation that Potter also counted guile, elusiveness, and combinations in his repertoire. Yet she remained confident. After all, her new moves had knocked off Severus, and though there had been an element of luck to it, she had even prevailed against Sirius Black. She smiled at the memory of wiping his typical smug, self-satisfied expression off that stubble-ridden face he was so proud of.

With a wave of his wand, Professor Osorio eliminated the barriers that had separated the dueling areas, causing those students who had been resting on them to jump up in surprise or simply fall bewildered to the ground. The Italian chuckled. “There is no substitute for alertness,” he tutted, shaking his head. “To the sides of the room, all of you,” he ordered. As the students parted to opposite walls, he wordlessly directed James and Lily to the center of the room.

Lily moved immediately toward him, re-securing her stray hairs into a new ponytail.

James lagged behind.

“I’m expecting to be avenged out there, Prongs,” Sirius said bitterly.

“You can count on it.”

Sirius grabbed his best friend by the robe, pulling him back. “Prongs,” he began, fixing James with a steely stare, “you _have_ to win. There’s no other option.”

James smirked. “Don’t you think I know that?”

Finally meeting Osorio and Lily in the middle of the classroom, he was greeted with a pair of disapproving glares.

“Kind of you to join us, Mr. Potter,” the professor said grimly. “Now. Attention both of you. This is the final round of competition. Some rules remain in place, Mr. Potter. No salvos of greater than five hexes. No unblockable magic. You of course, remain free to cast non-verbally. However, in the event that either of you are capable of it, you are free to manipulate objects in this classroom and you are equally free to perform wandless magic.”

“Professor–“ Lily started.

“The rules will be as I have stated Ms. Evans. Which of course leads to one important change. Disarming your opponent is insufficient to secure victory. You _must_ knock down or disable.”

Both students nodded their assent.

“Very well,” Osorio stated, directing each of them to a different end of the classroom before raising his voice. “Now, those of you who are not participating…I expect you to give this final exercise your full attention. There are twelve minutes remaining in this period. By that time, we _will_ have a winner.” Silently, Osorio raised his wand, bidding the two opponents to bow. Lowering it and causing a loud crack to ring through the air, the battle began.

Lily moved quickly to put her opponent on the defensive, scattering three stunners in his direction. She was prepared with a Shield Charm when he deflected two before re-directing the other at her. As the spell fizzled, Potter sent a flurry of different spells toward her including, she noted, an amplified Knockback Jinx. She had almost missed the subtle movement amidst his slick wand movements, and was forced simply to dodge it by sliding right. The important thing was seeing it she reminded herself before deflecting his next spell easily.

James realized upon Osorio’s announcement that time would clearly be a factor. A patient approach would be risky, but could pay dividends given his housemate’s temper and how heavily she seemed to be invested in the contest. After repelling her most recent measured sequence of spells, he strode forward briskly closing the distance. One. Two. Three-four-five. The moment she repelled the first, he sent another, and likewise with the second. He watched carefully as she dove to the right. His spells fizzled harmlessly into the wall behind her, but as she rose, James overpowered a stunner, sending it hurtling toward her still rising form. Had she seen it?

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily had. Hastily making the precise circular motion she needed with her wand, she rose and flourished it in time to send it flying back toward its caster. Potter ducked swiftly to avoid it before jumping high to dodge her Jelly-Legs Jinx. Surely as close as he was now, she could finish him though. Caught mid-air there was no way he could avoid this…

James’s eyes widened as his red-headed classmate fired a pair of stunners in his direction, the second of which she had cleverly doubled. As he fell directly toward their path, he recalled Osorio’s words. “ _Accio_ desk!” James shouted, flinging a table between them and narrowly landing on his feet as it splintered before him, a shard slicing his face while the other caught his off arm, gashing him. Still he strode forward, arm behind his back as he sent a well-timed deluge of spells at his housemate.

Lily’s face hardened at his clever block, even if the effort had enabled her to deal an unexpectedly literal blow to Potter’s arrogant face. He was an idiot, continuing his attacking posture when she clearly held the advantage thanks to his injury.

James aimed a series of curses at her feet, failing to threaten but slowly and subtly increasing the distance between them. Carefully, he measured his own steps back, casting his eyes toward the clock. Six minutes remained. He flicked his wand in its direction.

Having been forced to dance away from his irritating string of weak spells, Lily gritted her teeth at the distance he had created again. He of course, remained nearly in the center of the room, having cleverly backed her nearer and nearer to the wall. Across from her, Potter wore an irritating smirk. His injured arm was raised near his head, the other holding his wand, standing vertically, but in the same position as if in mock surrender. Lily’s eyes narrowed. It was a weak fighting position. Certainly he wasn’t capable of attacking quickly from it. But something about it made her wary. Potter raised his eyebrows before winking, leaning his head in the direction of the clock before forcing her to throw up a shield to block two more weak hexes. Lily swiftly retaliated, sending a series of escalatingly dangerous spells in his direction. As he fended them off, Lily caught sight of said clock. The time was unbelievable! Only a few minutes remained. Had it really been that long?

James noticed the flash or surprise cross his quarry’s face and slowly backed away, dodging her powered-up but more sluggish spellwork. Exactly as expected, she closed the distance between them, her face firm and marked by an intense glare.

Lily knew she would only get one chance at this. Potter was nearing the wall now and this was the moment. Circling her wand twice and drawing it toward her core, she cast the spell.

James’s eyes widened. Surely she wouldn’t…

But Lily had. A wave of blue blasted forth from her wand, accompanied by a loud crack. She smiled broadly at the expression on Potter’s face. As the wave moved toward him, she could barely see his futile wand strokes behind it. Finally. This was _her_ moment.

James furiously made gathering movements with his wand that no one seemed to understand. With no sign of magic coming, it seemed to all who looked on that he was out of ideas or resigned to his fate. Suddenly, as the wave nearly enveloped him, a pillar of green burst forth, pressing back the wave just enough to force the front of it around him. The raven-haired Gryffindor knew the spell Evans had used from his meticulous studies of the art of dueling, but its power still surprised him. Keeping his focus he brought his injured hand around, gripping the wrist that held his wand to support his defensive effort. If he could hold on for just a few more moments…

As the seconds ticked away without any sign of Potter having fallen beneath the wall of blue, Lily began to become slightly apprehensive. The clock was ticking and she was still slightly short of breath from the effort of casting the spell. Unbelievably she began to see a short rod-like mass of green about Potter’s height piercing through the wave. She fired four more spells, but each was swallowed by the wall of magic she had sent, hissing uselessly. Summoning her strength once more, she waited. The wave thundered into the wall behind Potter and as the green rod faded, she struck, sending two stunners followed by a triple-strength _flipendo_.

Confidently, James re-directed the two stunners toward Lily before dodging her final cast. As she attacked again, he continued to easily avoid her jinxes, striding closer and closer.

They were no more than ten feet away now, and Lily sent a doubled-up stunner toward him. James feinted as if he was going to cast a shield charm, but instead rolled low, cleverly evading her next attack and bellowed _._

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ”

A stunned Lily’s wand flew from her hand, falling to the ground. Desperately she tried what she had studied, focusing intently on the object as it spun away from her. She pressed her mind into a singular thought, bringing it back and to her great relief, its progress away from her slowed and then halted.

But it was too late. With a triumphant finality, Potter exclaimed, “ _Stupefy_!” sending Lily flying to the ground, her wondrous displays of magic outshone by the incomparable composure and clever tactics displayed by her long-time nemesis. As nearly the entire class roared in appreciation of another impressive Potter victory, Lily dragged herself to a seated position, catching a glimpse of only pitying expressions from Lionel and Severus. The red-headed witch stared holes into the stone floor as the Marauders lifted James atop their shoulders. She had done _everything_ this time. But even it hadn’t been enough.

Later that evening, after Lily had finished reliving every moment of the duel, trying to discern where she had gone wrong, she dragged herself off her bed and down to the common room. It was late, so late her roommates had long since abandoned her for sleep. Still, Lily knew she needed to release these thoughts and there was only one place for that in Gryffindor Tower – her favorite window seat – where she could sit alone and stare out into the starry sky.

Staring out the window she had sought, sitting with her knees tucked to her chest and her hair falling loosely about her head, she carefully picked out what stars she could. Slowly she identified constellations she had learned along with Petunia at an astronomy camp they had taken in their youth. In the southeast sky were Libra…as if today had shown her any justice…and Virgo. Saturn shone prominently in the center, close to the horizon.

“Do you see it?” a familiar voice rang out.

Lily sighed. “See what?”

“Our constellation of course.”

Her tired brain whirred. And she spotted it, resting in the West. “Right,” she nodded. “Leo. The Lion. How do you know it?”

“Mum liked all those little legends. She was one of those who actually liked Divination…”

Lily snorted.

“I know. But she learned all about it. Even what Muggles thought about the stars. The Zodiac, right?”

“Yes,” Lily said simply.

“What’s the story with that anyway? Horrorscopes? Who would want that?”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Horoscopes. Made up nonsense really, just posing as Divination. Some people believe them I suppose. Like my Aunt Tabatha.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m tired,” Lily groaned.

“You know they have these brilliant things called beds…” James joked.

She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. “How did you do it today?”

“What?”

“How did you beat me?”

She watched as James ran a hand through his messy hair. Prat. “Just let it go,” he said tamely.

“Tried that.”

“Why does it matter?”

“It just does.”

“Why?”

Lily turned her head swiftly to glare at him. “Because I worked harder than I ever have to beat you. And I couldn’t do it.”

“Well, it’s not because you weren’t good enough.”

“Of course it is. Otherwise I’d have won.”

James shook his head. “You fought better than I did mostly,” he shrugged. “Forcing me to use that desk to block you…hell, actually generating that wave like you did…it was brilliant.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said glumly. “I still lost.”

“Because I understand how you fight.”

“I fought every duel differently. Regimented, but different. Like you. I’m not stupid.”

“I never said you were.”

“Then what are you talking about?”

“You might use different styles. Different approaches. But you always fight the same. Whenever you duel, it’s always with a chip on your shoulder. You’re always angry. Especially when you duel me.”

“So.”

“So I used it. I frustrated you. You can’t deny I forced you into that spell.”

“I decided to cast it because I need to end it. There were barely three minutes left.”

James looked downward. “There were six.”

“There were three! I saw the clock.”

“You saw it right after I changed it.”

“What?”

“I changed it. I stopped your first great chance, but I paid for it. I was injured. I needed you to get frustrated enough to make a mistake. So I changed it. To pile on the pressure.”

“But…Osorio would’ve…”

“Osorio knew. It’s like he said. We could manipulate objects in the room.”

“I…but that…you completely altered my plan!” she said angrily.

“Kind of the point…”

Lily opened her mouth to snipe at him, but thought better of it. It burned to know he had gotten the better of her even more than she knew, but on some level, she felt better.

“Look Evans…” James offered. “You were great. Hell, if I had to pick a fifth to fight with it’d be you for sure after today.”

“Fifth. How reassuring.”

“I can hardly ignore familiarity. I can fight beside Sirius, Remus, and Peter without thinking. If not for that…I’d say you’d be tied with Sirius.”

Lily sighed again, re-directing her gaze out the window once more.

“Go to bed, Evans. You’ve got exams to whip me in.”

For the first time since she had met James Potter, he had managed to make her chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As for the story itself, this chapter was lengthier and represented a return to some James/Lily interaction in a variety of settings. Believe it or not, we really are almost done with Sixth Year. I think we’re officially a chapter away from summer now, where as I’ve said before, the story will see a major shift. I don’t want to stake myself too heavily to a forecast, but for those wondering, I would expect to probably spend around eight chapters on summer before moving into Seventh Year. I’m excited to have gotten two chapters into the queue in the same week for the first time in awhile and am hopeful I can continue to write so steadily in the near future.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	28. The Quidditch Cup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What the...is there something on my head?"

The following Wednesday was the lone day that neither the Gryffindors nor Slytherins had scheduled practice ahead of their title-decider at the weekend. Nevertheless, Sirius found himself tromping down to the quidditch pitch under the watchful gaze of the slowly setting sun. Despite being told he and Katie were square, it seemed that she felt free to ask him for favors now – this time a flying lesson for her friend. To his right, there Renee was, walking gracefully forward with her arms comfortably at her sides. He noted the look of contentment on her face. Just by looking at the brunette it would be impossible to guess the machinations that went on in her mind. But as Sirius had discovered, there was certainly more to her than met the eye.

Sighing quietly he gazed off for a moment. One thing he remained certain of about her – she was easily Gryffindor’s worst flier. While she was not without rivals in that regard, it was impossible for anyone present to forget her ghastly displays in Madame Hooch’s class. First she had distinguished herself with the dubious honor of taking nearly half the first lesson to get her broom to rise off the ground and into her hand. But it only got worse from there. After a titanic struggle to actually mount the thing, she had barely wobbled a few feet off the ground before falling gracelessly back to earth. It had taken her nearly half the term to complete the simple take-off, loop, and landing that even the next worst among them had mastered by the end of week six. Now she wanted flying lessons?

To his relief, the pitch was entirely unoccupied. The fifth and seventh years were undoubtedly studying furiously ahead of their looming O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s, while the remainder of the student body was lacked access to a broom or had preferred sprawling out in the courtyards of the castle or lazing by the lake.

“Where’s my broom?” Renee asked simply.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Locker room. Figured a practice model would be more your pace.”

Renee glared back.

“If I’m wrong, prove it,” Sirius shrugged. “For now, wait here.”

After disappearing into the depths of the changing area for a moment, he eventually resurfaced hoisting one of the smallest practice brooms. The long-locked wizard tossed it unceremoniously toward his housemate to catch, nodding in tepid approval as she managed the feat.

Straddling his own broom, a carefully maintained Cleansweep Five, the young man kicked hard off the ground, rocketing upward toward the center of the pitch. He shook his head as he ascended rapidly, enjoying the feel of the currents created by his travel blowing through his hair. Settling into his superior vantage point, he could easily see that Renee had adopted quite an agitated pose on the ground below. The witch had dropped the broom she’d been given, fixing both hands firmly on her hips. From what he could tell she appeared to be shouting something. Sirius laughed.

After several minutes of teasing her with a quick lap around the pitch and showing off some clever feints and rolls, he swooped down closer to Renee. The brunette was well worked-up now, wearing a firmly rooted scowl that matched the blazing anger in her eyes perfectly.

“What’s wrong, love?” Sirius chirped. “I thought you wanted to fly?”

Silently, the brunette straddled her broom.

Rolling his eyes at her attempt to give him the cold shoulder, Sirius edged forward, wagging the end of his broom like a tail before shooting upward almost vertically. He made to do another lap, before quickly changing direction and guiding himself closer to where she had just kicked off the ground. He shook his head in amusement. The poor girl was still wobbly.

“You ever going to get up here?” he taunted. “You were rather insistent about having this lesson and yet you’re leaving me all alone…”

“You’re a right git!” she shouted, careful to maintain her balance as she plodded forward until she finally reached him.

Sirius chuckled. “Already throwing in the towel are you?”

“I’m doing perfectly fine,” Renee snapped. “Doesn’t mean you’re not a git.”

“A git? Really? I mean if you’re trying to get under my skin…I’ve been called that too many times to remember.”

“Oh sod off,” she grumbled, fidgeting to stay comfortable atop the old broomstick.

“You don’t look terribly comfortable.”

“Well I’m terribly _not_.”

“Never been on a racing broom then?”

“This old thing is a _racing_ broom?”

“Comet 180. Best broom there is for quidditch…”

Renee gaped.

“Least if you’re Dumbledore’s age,” he added with a smirk.

Now the girl scowled. “When is this pitiful thing from? It feels like they hadn’t even developed the Cushioning Charm.”

“Hell, it’s newer than _that_ ,” Sirius retorted. “They started making them in ’38. Carried on for decades. No clue how old that particular one is though. It’s been ridden hard, I’ll grant you.”

“Ever the gentleman…”

“I’d offer you mine,” he shrugged, “but honestly…a bit too much speed for you I think. And with the Cup on the line this weekend, I can hardly take the risk.”

“I’m not going to break your broom!”

Sirius looked pensive for a moment before shaking his head. “Afraid I can’t chance it.”

“Fine,” she huffed, watching as the young wizard gazed off into the distance. “You picked this piece of rubbish. I’m going to assume it wasn’t _just_ to humiliate me.”

“Please. You know this whole thing is for Wallenby,” he said bluntly, fixing Renee with a hard stare. “Still, I suppose we ought to have some fun. Follow me.”

Renee nodded, urging the old broom forward to match Sirius’s more sluggish pace. The pair climbed slowly before leveling off and banking slightly to make their way toward the center circle.

“Ever been up here?” Sirius asked.

“Of course not!”

He signaled for her to stop. “Look around you then,” he said, waving his hand through the air.

From the central position high above the ground it was easy to see the entire pitch. They had stopped in the middle of the center circle and it was clearer now just how high the stands match-goers sat in each year stood. The hoops also appeared much more imposing from here than they did to the average spectator. Not only were they tall and surprisingly thick, but the distance between them seemed far greater. Seeing things from this vantage point certainly gave one a greater appreciation for keepers.

“It looks so…different,” Renee said.

“Yeah. I’ll bet.”

“What’s it like? On match days?”

A firm, yet oddly wistful look overtook his grey eyes before they closed. He inhaled deeply, smelling the special scent that signified summer and enjoying the light breeze that seemed to kiss his cheek.

“Sirius?”

Grey eyes opened.

“It’s bloody brilliant. Best feeling. Floating in the air with a bat in my hand. The whole school roaring. Heart in your throat waiting for the whistle…”

“You really love it, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I really do. Best place to get away and just be in the moment. Better than pranking even.”

Renee smiled slightly.

“If you’re talking to James though, I never said that,” he added sharply.

“You mean you don’t give him these glowing descriptions?” she quipped.

Sirius snorted. “Not quite. James loves quidditch, but he’s more…cerebral about it. I’m more of an artist.”

She resisted the urge to giggle.

“Besides, I’ve been giving him hell all year about his lack of pranks. I can hardly be caught telling you there’s other ways I’m happier spending time.”

“I suppose not. Certain appearances to uphold, right?”

“Exactly,” he grinned.

For the next several minutes they each scanned the pitch in silence.

“You know, Haverford. You’re not half bad when you switch off interrogation mode.”

Renee laughed lightly. “And you’re not nearly what I imagined.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“No. I expected more of a brute.”

It was the wizard’s turn to remain silent.

“Here I was looking for a rough rebel, but it turns out you’re more of a romantic at heart.”

The brunette glanced at the sun, which had already slid partially below the horizon.

“Done then?” Sirius inquired, gesturing toward the ground.

Renee nodded simply, nudging the nose of her ancient broom downward to begin their descent.

James swung wide to the right as Sirius whomped a bludger hopefully past him and toward the narrow advancing triangle of Slytherin chasers. It caught Callum Avery in the back just as the stocky wizard got the quaffle away.

“And that’s _another_ goal to Slytherin! They lead 80-40 after an abject series of giveaways by Gryffindor’s third-year chaser,” grumbled Arnold Baker. “You can see the Lions’ Captain fuming as the quaffle is channeled away from him again by Slytherin’s clever positioning. This has been a tactical master class so far by Fawley, putting pressure on Gryffindor’s rookie players…”

“Master class…you’d think he was a bloody Slytherin,” James growled as he urged his team to fan out into another wide attacking pattern. Predictably, two bludgers were sent almost immediately in his direction, forcing him to swap positions with Maggie.

“Chamberlain narrowly avoids trouble there as they had him boxed in two-against-one. The pass is completely sideways to Brinkley…Chamberlain gets it back on the one-two, but he’s coming up on the steady three-on-one scenario they’ve got cooked up for Gryffindor’s wide formation. Burke in that ranging deep position when Slytherin are without the quaffle has been a nightmare…”

James zoomed forward at top speed.

“Chamberlain gives it sideways to Brinkley who’s clearly walled off…I don’t think…but no she’s passed over the top to Potter flying in from behind! He’s clean through! One-on-one with the keeper and it’s a goal to Gryffindor to check Slytherin’s 50-0 run. Score now at 80-50 with no sign of the golden snitch.”

The messy-haired wizard pumped his fist before whizzing back in defense. Passing his two fellow chasers he hand-signaled they should follow the tactic he’d used in the future until Slytherin made a change. Craig might be a lightweight in the physical game, James reasoned, but he was a skillful enough passer if they could work themselves into the right positions.

As Slytherin’s narrow three advanced on Maggie, James smirked as Sirius walloped Avery in the chest with a bludger. The quaffle fell kindly to Fawley, but his shot was easily saved by Stan, who lofted a pass forward to Craig on the counter. James watched happily as the third-year ducked a well-struck bludger and split the beaters with a pass in his direction.

“And that pass was feathered impeccably by Chamberlain as we may be seeing a change in tactics by James Potter…Yes! Potter has scored once again, this time on Chamberlain’s assist and suddenly it’s Gryffindor’s leader looking the maestro. 80-60!”

For the next ten moves, the new tactic worked to perfection as Slytherin refused to change their approach. They had managed to score repeatedly themselves, but ultimately Gryffindor had finally retaken the lead on Maggie’s latest goal, 160-150. Of course, with Slytherin as the opponent, nothing was ever assured to remain effective…

“Oof! And that’s a penalty to Gryffindor. Cobbing of course as Fawley nearly sends Chamberlain off his broom with a vicious elbow to end a series of physical attempts to wrest control of the quaffle from the young chaser. Tried to conceal it, but Madame Hooch was alive to the reality of the situation. It’ll be Potter to take…remember Cranch is particularly adept at saving penalties. Yet to concede one this season…”

Taking position in the center circle, James noticed the golden snitch hovering slyly beneath the Slytherin keeper. He needed to move quickly and hope that Colin caught sight of it before his opposite number. quaffle in hand, James quickly shot forward, feinting left to bait Cranch, but failing. As the distance quickly closed between himself and the Slytherin goal posts, James pressed forward, tucking the quaffle low in the crook of his right arm. If this didn’t beat him, nothing would.

James elected to go dead red at Cranch. At twenty yards to go he accelerated further to top speed. He’d have to time it perfectly. Rolling right _very_ late, Cranch followed easily. James smirked, rolling upside down. The attempt would be dreadfully weak, fighting gravity in more than one sense, but if he could lob it just right…

The quaffle left his hand with as much force and height as he could manage under the circumstances. The result was ghastly looking, but it was just what James hoped for, a high, sluggish ball that Cranch could only try to tip over. Damn he was perceptive, but maybe…

Roars of jubilation poured forth from the Gryffindor stand.

“Unbelievable! An _audacious_ penalty attempt by Potter dupes Cranch and tucks in, just past the keeper’s flailing arm and through the hoop! 170-150! But what’s this? The Gryffindor _seeker_ is heading for Cranch now. Potter’s dive drew the attention and now Colin Davies is inches away! Cranch a desperate attempt to block, but the snitch jolts upward and so does Davies! He’s caught it! That’s the whistle! Gryffindor win! Gryffindor win! They take the Quidditch Cup! The Lions will be partying proudly in their tower tonight!”

The following morning, Lily woke early. Taking care not to wake her roommates, she dressed comfortably and crept down to the Common Room. It was sure to be a nightmare, but Remus had promised her he would make sure no one slept on the couches this time when she had decided to turn in early. However, when she rounded the final bend in the staircase she quickly noticed it had been a promise unfulfilled.

Staring at the mess before her, Lily saw that decorations were still strewn everywhere, along with empty cups and spills. One of the celebratory banners her housemates had quickly crafted after the victory hung perilously close to the smoldering embers in one of the fireplaces. In fairness to Remus, _fewer_ students had wound up on the furniture, and thankfully none were on the floor. Still, it aggravated her to see that not only hadn’t he followed through, her fellow prefect was actually amongst those who had stayed behind. Remus was lounging lazily in one of the large chairs on the far side of the room, his sandy hair falling back off his face. Slumped toward him with her head on the closest arm of the neighboring couch was Britt Lawson. Predictably, the rest of that coach housed Maggie and Anders. Craig was passed out on the other end, an empty mug near his head and a disgusting string of drool trailing out of his mouth. Sat like a king in the remaining armchair was Potter, his messy black hair mostly obscured by a ridiculous charmed crown and his body hidden by one of the heavy Gryffindor banners that normally hung about the Common Room, which he seemed to be using as a blanket. A smile played across his face as he slept. Lily shook her head.

“Bloody nightmare,” she muttered to herself, pulling out her wand.

For the next hour, Lily slowly and quietly gathered the garbage, scoured out stains, and avoiding waking up the worst of the revelers. Finally however, the banner draped over Potter was the last remaining item to be cleaned up. Delicately, she levitated the heavy object off of him, directing it slowly toward its appropriate resting place with careful flicks. After several attempts she finally managed to set it right.

“Unnh…” came an almost immediate grumble. Bleary hazel eyes gazed up at her. “Evans? Wha… _why_ are you _up_?”

Lily sighed, raising a finger to her lips, hoping it would dissuade further conversation.

It instead spurred a sleepy and bewildered James Potter to groggily approach her. “Bloody hell. Did you actually clean this place up? Helluva job…”

“Why thank you,” she hissed sarcastically.

Potter shook his head. “You’re always doing that…I say something nice and you’re always…why are you always doing that?”

“I’m supposed to take ‘helluva job’ as a sincere compliment?”

“Sorry it wasn’t the Queen’s English…it’s _way_ too early.”

“Right. Well I’m glad you’re at least thankful. Though it might be nicer if you didn’t leave such a mess in the first place.”

“I suppose,” he began, his mind finally clearing, “but we _are_ supposed to deliver fun. You know it’s a bit hard to contain sometimes, but we’d have picked it up.”

“I’m sure…”

He shook his head again, this time feeling a tug on his hair. “What the…is there something on my head?”

“You didn’t do it?”

“Do what?”

“The stupid crown.”

“There’s a crown on my head?”

“Hell, Potter…how much did you drink last night?”

“A few Butterbeers,” he replied, waving his hand dismissively. “I gave up the flask and the Firewhiskey, remember?”

Lily fought to suppress the flush she surprisingly felt rising to her cheeks as she recalled the first blowout of the year.

“Anyway…I don’t know anything about a crown. Can you get it off?”

“You can’t do it yourself?”

He tugged sharply on it with a hand before grimacing. “Stuck. Probably Sirius. Blighter.”

Lily produced her wand again.

“No!”

“Well how else am I supposed to get an enchanted crown off your head?”

“Magic…that’s what he wants. Get me to cut off clumps of my hair or something. You try it?”

“You’ve already–”

“I _know_. Just try it.”

Throwing him a skeptical glare, Lily reached out and pulled. Her head jerked back in surprise as the crown came off easily.

Potter chuckled.

“How did you–”

“He’s done it so many times…usually he thinks of everyone…guess he got lazy.”

James pulled out his wand aiming it at the pile of garbage Lily had assembled.

“What are you doing?”

“Bit of magic…”

“Obviously…”

“You’ll see.”

With a twist of his wrist and a flick upward, the pile seemed to fuse, rearranging itself into the shape of a roaring lion.

“Better,” he said, nodding. “Anyway, I suppose I’d best go get cleaned up. Promised Katie when she turned in that I’d meet her for breakfast. What time is it anyway?”

Lily shrugged. “I came down at maybe 7:00. So I suppose nearly 8:30 by now.”

“Perfect! Plenty of time!”

As Potter turned on a dime and bolted up the staircase toward the boys’ dormitories, Lily was once again left alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alrighty! Finally the end of Sixth Year! And Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup! I don’t have a whole lot to say about this chapter, but I hope you found it enjoyable despite the somewhat disparate things it addressed. I realize that I really cut down the quidditch as compared to the last match I described and took a bit of a different approach to it, having things more driven by Arnold’s commentary, but hopefully it still had that quidditch match feel and you could get into the game and the result. I also hope you enjoyed Sirius being open to helping Katie without obligation and a little more of James and Lily. I know the James/Lily interaction wasn’t terribly substantive this time around, but I really wanted to end with them and do so on a specific kind of note (which hopefully came across).
> 
> I’ll jump right into summer next time. There will be some intriguing developments throughout and a seismic shift somewhere in there that I hope will come off well and will be looking for everyone’s thoughts on if they want to share. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	29. High on the Hilltop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You're not giving James a hard time are you, Dad?'

As he sat deep in his favorite armchair, Roger Wallenby could hear the hurried footsteps of his daughter flitting about in her room. Since returning home from Hogwarts a week ago, she had been buzzing with impatience. Roger had ensured his end-of-year letters were perfectly clear about Katie’s return home. The Muggle bride her mother had been working with had been increasingly demanding as her wedding date neared, coming round daily and sending post nearly as often, and Roger could tell his wife would need Katie’s help ensuring things went off without a hitch. Of course, it also provided him the perfect excuse to ensure some small amount of time with both the other members of his family. The patriarch of the Wallenby clan looked longingly at the picture of his wife and daughter on the mantle. He remembered the moment like yesterday.

Up on the hill behind their simple cottage, three-year old Katie had draped herself around her mother’s neck as Mary sat with Roger on the picnic blanket their spirited little girl had long forgotten. Happily, he had his camera with him, and most importantly ready. The firm, craggy bark of the old oak lay in the background, a contrast to the barely perceptible yet elegant motion of its smooth leaves swaying in the gentle summer breeze. In the foreground were his wife, strong and still, and Katie, arms wrapped tightly around her neck, both smiling widely.

Back in his chair, Roger nodded. It was hard to believe his little girl was nearly of age. Before he could blink Katie’s own daughter would be featuring in a picture with her. He pursed his lips tightly. He could already feel her slipping away. Something inside made him fight against it with all his might, though he realized it was a battle lost the moment she was born. He had protected her. He had raised her, along with Mary of course. But soon, the time would come for him to be replaced. Roger castigated himself for the thought. As Mary was so fond of assuring him, his little girl would never truly replace him. Deep down he knew she was right. But all the same it was still his duty to protect her. To make sure that the man who stepped into the role he had occupied for so long was up to the task.

Katie’s feet were quiet upstairs. The pipes groaned. Roger shook his head. She had showered before helping her mother with the centerpieces, but here she went again. As if moving thirty vases and their accompanying decorative accessories had truly caused her to break the faintest of sweats in the surprisingly mild weather. The mustachioed wizard stroked his chin thoughtfully before glancing at his watch. Things were _not_ looking good. It was nearly noon and she hadn’t even begun to dress. A knock on the front door interrupted his trip upstairs to remind her of the time. Roger could sense it. His quarry had arrived. Straightening himself and sticking his wand in his front pocket where it could be easily seen, he unlatched the wooden door and flung it wide, fixing a thin, cautious smile on his face.

Immediately he was greeted by a black-haired boy in a crisp white shirt and trousers. His bespectacled face exuded a quiet confidence that his nervous smile disguised. In the crook of one elbow was a simple vase full of assorted summer flowers. Roger had to give the boy credit. He at least looked the part, aside from his absurdly messy hair anyway. Had the man not known better he would’ve looked around for a broomstick. Alas, such a style of grooming was typical of young wizards these days. Thankfully this one still saw fit to shave. With an outstretched arm, he beckoned the boy into his home, taking the flowers immediately to the nearby kitchen table.

“Katie’s still getting dressed. She had to–”

“Help her mum with a wedding. Yeah. She owled me last night,” James finished.

Roger fixed the upstart with a firm stare.

“Sorry,” the boy said, looking away for a moment with a hint of a frown. “You were probably about to–”

“Say that?” Mr. Wallenby interrupted. “Quite right.” Slowly he gestured toward the chair next to his in the living area.

Roger quickly took his seat, leaving the boy awkwardly standing. He was pleasantly surprised to see him fix himself with a quick intake of breath before sticking out his hand. “Mr. Wallenby, I’m James Potter.”

The older wizard offered a half-smile. “Roger Wallenby. You can sit.”

“Sure.”

James sat on the edge of the smaller chair, watching for a reaction.

“So you’ve been seeing my daughter since November?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And?”

“I mean…she’s brilliant. Course you already knew that. But the way you’ve taught her quidditch…it’s really something.”

“Says the Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. Couldn’t find a space for the girl I trained so well?”

“Right. Well…we’ve had loads of talent recently. Bad luck for her really. I mean, she passes and shoots well. And her tactics are spot on, it’s just–”

Roger chuckled. He was pleasantly surprised that the young wizard was genuinely trying to stick up for his daughter, despite her obvious shortcomings. “It’s just the flying bit. I tried for years to get her more comfortable with the quick movements on the broom. Never quite took.”

He could see the boy waffling on how to respond. “She’s gotten loads better this year,” he offered. “You should see.”

“I have. She tells me I have you to thank for that.”

“Well,” James smirked, “I _am_ the Quidditch Captain,” he said confidently.

Roger reverted to a neutral expression. He had been quite correct. The boy needed to be taken down a peg.

“And the name I’ve heard most in reference to injuries and ill-discipline from other parents.”

James frowned briefly before offering a hopeful glance in Roger’s direction. “Yeah. Katie’s been helping with that. Good reason to stay out of detention.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I mean, she’s sort of insisted.”

“But you’d rather be free of all that?”

“I never said that,” the young wizard replied, his voice laced with a defiant undertone. “It’s been…different. But definitely worth it.”

“So…expecting good marks then?”

“If all goes well.”

“Slacking off?” Roger asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“No, sir,” James defended. “If anything Katie’s kept me more on task than ever. I don’t think I’ve studied so much in my life…”

“Glad to see she’s been able to keep your interest.”

James looked down, his brow creasing deeply.

“You know that’s my main worry about you and my daughter. She’s not just some prize to be won. She’s too caring sometimes. Gets taken advantage of by clever blokes with grand ideas. I’ve heard about your reputation and I don’t like it,” Roger said seriously, his eyes boring into James.

“I’d never think of Katie like that.”

“You’d best remember you said that,” Roger warned, fixing James with an icy stare.

As he finished speaking, the older wizard looked at the top of the stairs.

James turned quickly, taking great care to keep his mouth shut. Katie looked better than he’d ever seen her. At Hogwarts she mostly dressed down, but today she was in a simple blue and white sundress with a small bow tied at the back. Her hair, which had been growing steadily throughout the year, was done in a tiara braid that wrapped around the front of her head, stretching behind her ears. The remaining hair was secured loosely in a simple bun. Her make-up remained simple though and James smiled broadly as the sunlight dancing through the window behind her played across her freckled face.

“You’re not giving James a hard time are you, Dad?”

“Of course not, wonder,” Roger replied smiling, crossing the room to hug his daughter tightly and kiss her cheek.

Katie shifted her weight to one leg, placing her hands on her hips. “Not even a hello? I’ve missed you, James!” she pouted.

The young wizard rapidly stood approaching and giving her a chaste kiss on the lips.

With her father looking away, Katie rewarded him with a flirtatious glance and small smile. She twisted around slowly, causing the skirt of her dress to flare out slightly. “What do you think?”

“You look lovely,” Roger responded, noting with irritation the look in the Potter boy’s eye as he happily drank his daughter in.

“You look…he–…err…exceptional,” James finished lamely, catching himself before speaking coarsely in front of Mr. Wallenby.

“Take my hand then!” she insisted, smiling as her boyfriend gladly obliged. “We’re going for a walk before lunch,” Katie announced. “Mum owled she’ll be late back from setting up for that barmy woman’s rehearsal dinner, so we should have plenty of time.”

“Not further than the hill,” her father said firmly.

“Of course, dad,” Katie answered, rolling her eyes as she dragged James toward the front door.

As the young wizard exited, he locked eyes once more with his girlfriend’s father. The message he received was clear. James would be on his best behavior.

As they crested the hill that had been marked as their westward barrier, Katie disengaged her hand from James’s and sat. Rising briefly to smooth her dress out under her, she angled her knees toward him and patted the grass beside her. She returned her boyfriend’s easy smile as he plopped down carelessly next to her.

“So you missed me did you?” he asked cheekily.

“Don’t get me started. If I didn’t know better I’d think my dad somehow arranged this extravagant wedding I had to help with just to keep us apart for the week.”

James chuckled nervously.

Katie’s eyes narrowed. “He gave you trouble didn’t he?”

“It was nothing,” James said dismissively.

“What did he say?”

“Really, Katie–”

“No. I want to know.”

James sighed. “Well he’s clearly not thrilled about my reputation. You know between the pranks and my past and all.”

Katie frowned. “Mum says he’s unhappy I’m growing up. As if he didn’t know it was going to happen.”

“Parents, right?” James joked, trying to lighten the mood once more.

“I suppose. I’m happy we’re here now though. I’ve been thinking all week, we’ve hardly been _properly_ alone since we started dating. Aside from the flying and studying and…well…and then winter was far too cold.”

“Hogsmeade?” James offered.

“Well of course then too, but it’s not the same. Everywhere there was always the prospect of getting interrupted. This is different. It’s really just us.”

“And your dad with a telescope I’ll bet…”

“James!” Katie yelped, smacking her boyfriend playfully on the arm. “Stop!”

“Fine, fine! We’re finally _properly_ _alone_ ,” he said dramatically, lowering his voice to a deep tone that was reminiscent of the current Minister for Magic, Liam Lockerbee. “What use would you like to put that to?” he asked, winking.

Katie rolled her eyes. “Maybe later. For now I just want to talk.”

As she finished, she stretched out slowly, laying her head in James’s lap.

“What do you think of home?”

“What?”

“All this,” she gestured. “Home.”

“I already told you once I think it’s brilliant. All this land. Nothing in your way. It must have been great to grow up with.”

“It was. I’ve had a lot of great memories on this hill. In the meadows. Down by our pond.”

“Yeah…most of my memories are away from home. I mean…it’s great and all. My parents gave me…anything really, but it’s mostly been lonely. Sirius moving in has been the busiest the place has been during the days in ages. He’s moving out before we start seventh year though.”

“Moving out? Where?”

“Flat. Back in London. Some rogue Uncle left him enough gold to swing it. He’s just got to wait until he’s officially of age to claim it.”

Katie exhaled loudly. “Must be something…”

James stroked her arm gently as he looked down at her. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

“No. It’s fine. It’s just…hard to imagine people with that much. I mean, I know your family’s the same, but you never really talk about it.”

“Yeah. Well, I prefer not to throw it about. Leave that to the Slytherins.”

Katie paused.

“What do you think of the house?”

James stopped his fiddling with an errant strand of her hair.

“Why are you bringing this up?”

Katie eased herself up and turned to look at him.

“Hey…” he prodded.

Katie looked down slightly, biting her lip.

“I just…I wondered if you…nevermind.”

“Not nevermind.”

“I just wanted a sense of how you felt about it.”

Katie felt the intensity in his gaze as James stared directly into her eyes for a moment, as if searching her, pressing her to say something more. She fought to suppress the warmth she felt rising under his scrutiny until finally he relented.

“I’ve already answered that,” he said evenly. “Our first date. It wasn’t just some fluff I was trying to sell you. And you should know that by now.”

Katie looked away from James’s uncharacteristically stern face. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t.”

“No, I am. You’re right. I…I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Don’t do that,” James said, grabbing her arm gently before she could stand. “I get what you’re asking me, okay? Are you hearing me when I tell you the answer’s still the same?”

Katie nodded, a smile crossing her face again.

“Lay back down,” James said softly, helping ease Katie back onto the grass as she complied.

Leaving his arm under her neck, James lay down beside her.

“You know what I like best about being out here with you?” he asked.

“What?”

“This,” he said simply. “You were right when you said it was different. Finally being properly alone.”

As the sunlight shone done on the couple, broken only by the occasional passing cloud above, Katie closed her eyes and smiled. She edged herself closer to James, laying her head on his chest and exhaling appreciatively as his arm wrapped around her, coming to rest comfortably on her waist. Finally she opened them again. A gentle breeze blew over the pair as they lay comfortably atop her favorite hill. In that moment, Katie hoped desperately that it could really be this easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, I can already hear the grumbling now…more James/Katie fluff. But I promise it’s necessary. Hopefully as the chapters roll forward you’ll see more of why.
> 
> I also hope you managed to enjoy the bit with Katie’s father. I wanted it to be clear that he’s not just an overbearing troll, but that he really cares deeply for his daughter and is struggling with her growing older. I also wanted him to come to the realization that maybe James isn’t the nightmare he expected, but still be able to put a fatherly foot down during the scene with their interaction. Hopefully that came across believably.
> 
> In the way of a short preview, the next chapter will be from Lily’s perspective, followed by a shorter bit focused on Sirius (both with and without James), before we reach the middle of summer and another inflection point in a longer chapter that will cover quite a bit of ground from at least three perspectives.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	30. Ice Cream and Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You make me out to be some sort of judgmental hot-head.'

Lily sighed as she idly scrubbed her plate, warm water running over her hands as she gazed out into the small yard behind the house. It had been nearly two weeks since she’d heard from anyone. This summer Marlene and her family would be summering in Greece. Alana was staying in Britain, but with her sister getting married in a few weeks’ time, final preparations were proceeding furiously – or at least that’s what she’d heard last. Turning off the faucet and drying her hands on a towel, she frowned. Alana _was_ the maid of honor. It was only natural she’d be so busy – and knowing her friend most of her work was probably being devoted to planning Alexandra’s hen night.

“Lily, darling,” Catherine Evans tutted, “you’re far too old to be leaving dishes about for me.”

The red-haired witch glanced over her shoulder at the lone plate remaining in the sink. Slowly she turned around, plucking it from its resting place and placing it carefully in the nearby cabinet with the rest of the set.

“What’s wrong, angel?”

“Nothing, mum.”

“I know I’m not the most thrilling person to be around, but we could have a bit of fun. We always used to.”

“I know,” Lily said glumly. “I suppose it’s just not how I imagined.”

“And what are we going to do to change that?”

Lily allowed herself a chuckle. She did love her mother. She was always unfailingly optimistic. Somehow, between she and Petunia, that particular trait seemed to have skipped a generation.

“There’s nothing to be done really…I’m just waiting on Alana to be through with Alexandra’s wedding.”

“And that boy from the pier?”

“I told you that was never a thing, Mum…”

“Such a shame…” her mother said “…he did seem like such a nice boy.”

“Yes, well…he certainly was nice. It just didn’t work out.”

“Not another situation like–”

“No,” Lily interrupted. “Nothing like that. We just didn’t fit.”

“Well I’m sure it’s all for the best then. I’ll leave you to your thoughts I suppose. Of course if you need anything…or wanted to join me on my trip into town…”

Lily gave her mother a resigned half-smile. “Dad’s right you know? Your hints aren’t very subtle.”

“Well. Like I’ve always told _him_ , perhaps I’m not trying to be,” Catherine retorted, striding toward the small pantry to begin making a shopping list.

“Fine…” Lily said with an exaggerated groan. “I’ll go get dressed.”

Several hours later, while her mother was busy baking her father’s birthday cake, Lily finally retreated to her room. Sitting down at her desk, she silently burnished the apple she had snuck from the refilled fruit bowl on the skirt of her dress. Admiring its deep, shiny redness, she took a large bite, savoring the flavor as she chewed. As her thoughts wandered to how she could possibly occupy another empty afternoon without her friends or a book list for next year, a small brown owl rapped its beak on her window.

Setting the apple down, she reached out to let the bird in. Having untied the letter from its taloned foot she reached in her desk drawer and offered it a few bits of cracker she kept on hand for just such occasions. Surprisingly the bird rebuked her with an irritated hoot. Lily thought of the apple.

“Ahh. I see. Remus has been feeding you fruit then?”

Dissatisfied with her slowness, the bird nipped in the direction of the apple with its beak. In the nick of time, Lily pulled the fruit away and tutted as she fumbled in her drawer for a letter opener.

“He really should feed you better. I’ve told him before.”

Finding the old silver object at the back when its business end poked her hand, she pulled it free and cut a small piece of the apple off for the owl.

“There you go. Go on now. I’ll send mine with him,” she said firmly, tossing her head back slightly in the direction of Frederick’s cage.

Chuckling as the assertive creature flew off back to its master, Lily opened the letter. It wasn’t entirely unusual for Remus to write her over the summer. Still, she considered, he had never done so this soon before. Normally it didn’t happen until July, when both were a bit bored with their routine with friends and family. What could he need?

 _Lily_ –

_I realize I’m breaking with tradition writing you so soon, but I thought you might be rather bored with no friends around at the moment and no sister about to go tit-for-tat with._

_I’m afraid my summer is similarly boring. As you may (but probably don’t) know, Sirius left home over the Christmas holiday and stayed with James and it seems that arrangement has become temporarily permanent over the summer. They can be an insular pair at times over the summer even without holing up in the Potter estate together. James’s enjoyment of Katie’s company has been another obstacle to our usual summer gatherings. Unbelievably I’ve found myself in the troubling state you call normalcy – eagerly awaiting book lists for next year._

_Things being as they are for both of us, I thought I’d reach out and see if you’d like to meet someplace. Your choice of course. I will say up front that I’m getting over a bit of a peaky period, so next week would be best for me if you can manage the wait._

_Remus_

Lily pondered the letter for a moment. Though she would certainly say they were friends at Hogwarts, at least as much as one could be friends with Remus without accepting the rest of his band of brothers, they had never seen one another outside of school before. How would things be? Awkward? Comfortable? Lily didn’t know. She had spent most of her summers with Marlene and Alana, and before the previous summer, Severus. Family time had been more of a side order, which Lily had been perfectly content with. Though her parents meant well, her mother’s doting and attempts at subtle domestic lessons grew tiring quickly and as far as her father was concerned…well she could only answer his similar rounds of questions so many times. Even if the day did turn out uncomfortably, at least it would be a respite.

She grabbed a quill and inkwell and began to write.

The following Saturday, Lily met Remus at Diagon Alley.

“It’s strange you know…I’ve never been except when it’s time to buy books.”

Remus shook his head. “What on earth do you and your friends do?”

“It used to just be trips to their houses. Recently though they wanted me to show them ‘Muggle things’ as they put it…riding in taxis…watching films…it’s unbelievable really the amusement they get from it…”

“A bit like the amusement you get from a warming charm or fixing a stain with a swish and a flick?”

Lily paused to glance sideways at her sandy-haired friend. “I suppose…”

Remus chuckled. “It’s good you stopped here…might be nice to finish with some ice cream,” he said, gesturing toward Florian Fortescue’s famous Ice Cream Parlor. “Grab a table, I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Interested in what I’d like before you go?”

“I’ve seen you come the feasts. Strawberry isn’t it?”

“So it is.”

The red-headed witch found a tall table for two near the entrance. Remus was a good friend. Kind. Observant. It was a miracle he got on with Potter and his pals as well as he did. Lily sighed. The other reason she was so looking forward to the book list was to see her marks. True enough she couldn’t know Potter’s, but as long as she did as expected she was confident she’d remain top of the class. But would it be enough for Head Girl? She had never fancied herself ambitious, but it was a position she had come to covet. She had worked hard as a prefect to see things were taken seriously. To treat students even-handedly. And of course her coursework spoke for itself. It would be a valuable addition to her application to the Academy. Ever since she’d decided on that path toward the beginning of fifth year she’d known that much. Lily groaned. Waiting nearly all summer for the news was unbearable.

“Back,” Remus said brightly, handing over a small cone laden with pink ice cream.

“Thanks. Chocolate for you again?”

“Indeed.”

“Always the chocolate…”

For the next half hour or so, Lily once again forgot the suffocating summer she’d had so far at home and the anxiety she felt over the possible news from Hogwarts. For his part, Remus was a good sport, listening to her carry on about her sister’s secretarial job and her father’s work at the factory. It was one of the things she liked about him. Even if he did carry off mean-spirited pranks now and again, he at least retained a subdued earnestness in his one-on-one interactions rather than succumbing to the juvenile urge to strut about the castle bragging to anyone who would listen. If only he could put a stop to it somehow…

“Lily?” Remus asked.

“Oh,” she said, surprised. “I must have just faded for a moment. I’m sorry.”

“You were muttering to yourself,” Remus chortled, cocking an eyebrow. “Something on your mind?”

“Nothing important.”

“I know when you’ve got something to say.”

“It’s nothing. Honestly. I just hope you’re made Head Boy.”

“Me?” Remus asked skeptically. “And what would qualify _me_ to be Head Boy?”

“You’re talented. Intelligent. Reasonable. People like you.”

“ _You_ like me. And James, Sirius, and Peter. To most I’m fairly confident I’m simply the gaunt Gryffindor who’s always missing lessons.”

“You’re always selling yourself short.”

“Yes, well…I don’t think Head Boy is on the cards for someone like me.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Remus stared out the window, resting his chin on a half-closed fist. He sighed.

“Nothing, Lily. It would be an honor of course, but I don’t think it’s meant to be.”

“Well, you’ve been a brilliant prefect. I mean, there aren’t many other candidates to choose from. Who would it be if not you?”

“Craig Bamford? His brother was unlucky not to get it last year. He’d make sense.”

“He’d be decent,” Lily conceded. “At least he enforces the rules. Doesn’t play favorites either. Still, I’d prefer you.”

“Why’s that?”

“I know you,” she shrugged. “And–”

“And if you’re made Head Girl it would be easier to plan,” Remus finished. “Well, it’s refreshing you’ve finally admitted it. Wanting the job.”

“I’d be perfectly fine if I–”

“You would _not_ be fine,” Remus laughed. “You’d be storming about that house of yours ranting about the injustice of it all.”

“I would not!” Lily said defensively. “I would have the utmost respect for whoever Dumbledore selected!”

“I don’t doubt that. But you’d have over a month before you had to start actually showing it.”

“You make me out to be some sort of judgmental hot-head,” Lily snapped.

Remus looked away briefly.

“Excuse me?!”

The young man raised his hands slightly in surrender. “Your words…not mine.”

“And you seem quite satisfied with my choices,” she huffed.

“Normally you’re not. But there are times…”

“Such as?”

“The end of the year? I thought you might _finally_ hex James you know. Not that he’d have deserved it on _that_ occasion, but nevertheless…”

Lily flushed as she cast her eyes downward.

“It wasn’t my… _proudest_ moment. But it doesn’t make me a judgmental hot-head.”

“And again,” Remus offered, “ _I_ never said it did.”

Lily harrumphed. “Are you finished with your ice cream?”

“I am.”

“Let’s go then. I’ve got to be home soon before my mum starts dinner. I’m supposed to learn a new seasoning to try on tomorrow’s roast,” she finished with mock enthusiasm.

“By all means,” Remus said, gesturing for her to exit first through the door.

As they merged back into the foot traffic in the Alley, Lily frowned. A judgmental hot-head. Of all things. Why on _Earth_ had she chosen _those_ words?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Something of a shorter chapter this time around, mostly kicking off Lily’s summer, but providing a small glimpse into her thinking and her reaction to a perception she’s surprised to see someone (even a friend) might have about her. As promised, the next chapter will focus firmly on Sirius, though we’ll get a bit of James and his parents, and an unfamiliar figure as well.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	31. A Sack of Potatoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why are you so worried about my potatoes?"

A rough jolt to the back immediately roused Sirius. Bolting up to a seated position, he tossed his hair out of his face and rubbed his eyes. Turning his head wearily in the direction of the shove, he was greeted by the grinning visage of his best friend in all the world.

“Morning, Padfoot!” James said brightly.

“What time is it?”

“Breakfast,” his messy-haired friend grinned.

“That’s not a time,” Sirius grumbled.

James gave him a playful shove.

“Come _on_. I know it’s only temporary, but mum and dad _have_ given you this comfortable bed and fluffy pillow you seem to love so much. I think you could at least give them one breakfast this summer.”

“Always with the guilt…”

“You know I don’t mean it.”

“Right, right…get out then. I’ll be down in a few.”

“Don’t make me come back up here,” James warned. “I’m of age now too, you know…”

“Don’t remind me…”

James waggled his wand tauntingly as his friend before shutting the door behind him.

Sirius groaned as he took his feet. James was as bad as those blasted clocks they were selling now on Diagon Alley. Little buggers were charmed to ring like mad and then spring away from you all around the room until you finally gave in and got up. It certainly gave new meaning to the idea of clocks having feet.

Looking around, he smiled. His friend had a fair point. The Potters had more than just taken him in. They had spared no expense to make what used to be a dusty old upstairs sitting room into a bedroom fit for a prince. A bed and mattress, a polished wardrobe, a sturdy dresser – all brand new. Of course, his favorite additions had been the decorations. Apparently James _had_ been paying attention when Sirius spent last term lamenting his lost Gryffindor trappings. The bugger had actually had the nerve to owl his parents and get it all set up for a surprise when he’d gotten back for the summer. It made it that much harder to break the news that Uncle Alphard’s passing and surprising gift meant he would be moving out on his own before starting seventh year. Still, the Potters had taken it in stride, telling him he’d always have a home there. It was touching in the way only a wise, old couple’s sentimentality can be.

Dressing quickly, he bounded down the stairs and encountered them waiting at the small kitchen table, the house elf Tinka pouring orange juice into his empty glass.

“Well! You were telling us the truth, James. He’s finally arisen!” Fleamont Potter chuckled.

“Come, come, Sirius,” the old wizard’s wife beckoned. “Plenty to eat. I’ve made eggs, bacon, and muffins. Come on now. Tuck in.”

“Merlin, Beatrice,” James’s father snorted. “Let the boy breathe.”

Sirius sat, spreading his napkin on his lap.

“It looks brilliant, Mrs. Potter,” he said quickly, grabbing a fork and immediately digging in. Through a mouthful of eggs, he belatedly added a sheepish “thank you.”

“It’s kind of you to say. These two,” she started, gesturing dismissively at James and his father, “are terribly difficult. You know, I think they honestly prefer Tinka’s cooking…”

Unbeknownst to his wife, Fleamont fixed James with a stare.

“Nonsense mum,” he offered. “I mean, Tinka’s decent, but you always make things extra special.”

“Too right, James,” his father chipped in. “I couldn’t have put it better myself.”

Beatrice smiled warmly. “You two. Well, you’re talented at flattery if nothing else.”

Sirius simply smiled back silently.

“Well, I hear James is leaving you alone today,” Fleamont began. “Any particular plans?”

“Not really. I figured I’d wander around town maybe. Get as far away from the lovebirds as I can.”

“That’d mean staying here you dolt,” James smirked, sneaking his tongue out while his parents weren’t looking.

“What can I say? It’s just too lonely without you…” Sirius whined, swooning dramatically in his chair.

“Boys…” Beatrice warned. “Not this early.”

James laughed.

“I told you that you weren’t alone in getting wiser this term,” Fleamont added. “After the sheer torture you put this poor woman through over the holidays, she was determined to learn your cues.”

“Not bad, mum,” James said, slipping his wand back into his pocket. “I was only going to use an _aguamenti_ …”

The Potters dissolved into comfortable laughter.

Sirius made sure to join in just before anyone’s eyes re-opened.

Some time later, the young wizard was hopelessly lost. Having lived with his family in London for so long, he had assumed finding his way around would be even easier in such a small place, but without familiar landmarks as a point of reference or tube stations to get from place to place, Sirius had quickly found himself moving in circles. Exasperated and feeling the beginnings of hunger despite the quantity of food James’s mother had encouraged him to eat at breakfast, he slumped down against the stone wall of some sort of Muggle shop. It was amazing the sort of odds and ends they would throw together in one place and call a business. Sighing, he stretched a leg out idly while pondering his next move.

Suddenly, a surprised yelp rang out and Sirius felt the flat sole of a shoe pressing firmly on his ankle. A basket fell squarely on his chest, tipping sideways and spilling several spindles of yarn and spools of thread, along with a thin book with a white cover. Spurred into action, he looked up quickly to see a girl that seemed about his age falling toward the ground, green eyes wide and blonde hair flying freely. He immediately leaned forward, catching one hand in his and arresting her fall more firmly by placing the other on his shoulder.

Swiftly, the blonde stood and brushed off the front of her simple, but elegant summer dress. “Goodness!” she said in irritation. “Whatever were you doing sitting in the middle of the sidewalk?”

Sirius gave her a sheepish grin, offering the empty basket as he moved to gather her belongings.

“Well?”

“Just taking a break. I’m not from around here and I got a bit lost. I must have been walking for hours.”

“I see…well what exactly are you looking for?”

“I don’t know really. I’m staying with a friend. He’s up and left me to see his girl though so I’m on my own for the first time.”

The girl finished fixing her hair. Sirius noticed as she bit her pink lower lip pensively.

“Are you hungry then after all the walking?” she asked.

“You’ve got that right!”

“Well, I’m on my way for food. The least I can do is lead you, seeing as you caught me and all. And I suppose you didn’t mean any harm…”

“Course not!” Sirius insisted, fumbling slightly to push the tip of his wand deeper into his pocket as he admired the young woman’s well-kept attire. As she looked upward toward one end of the street he had been walking, he noticed her cheeks had a rosy hue, even in the shadows and her eyelashes were striking, curled carefully upward toward her tastefully shadowed lids. “Please,” he said, gesturing for her to walk ahead. “Lead on.”

Resetting the basket full of items in the crook of one elbow, she set off in the same direction she had been looking. Sirius admired the sway of her hips as she gracefully set off up the brick pathway ahead. Catching himself, he hurried to keep pace.

“So…what were you doing in a store like that?” he asked.

“You’ve never heard of an antique store?”

“Looked like loads of old odds and ends to me,” Sirius shrugged, tucking a wayward bit of his long hair back out of his face.

“You really aren’t from around here are you?” she laughed, thoughtlessly displaying her radiant white smile.

“No. I’ve already said that.”

The blonde snorted in amusement. “Yes, well…you’d be surprised the things people say to me in the street sometimes…”

“Hmm?”

She rolled her eyes. “Nothing. So what’s your name?”

“Sirius. Sirius Black.”

“Sirius? That’s a rather _odd_ name.”

“Family thing,” he said dismissively. “They’re a bit obsessed with the stars.”

“I see. I’m Grace Lewis,” she offered, pausing to extend a delicate hand. “My family has a bit of a fixation on religion and virtue, I’m afraid.”

Sirius took her hand firmly, giving it a strong, but careful shake.

For a short time, they strode on in silence, Sirius trying to divide his attention between shops he could recognize on the way back and stealing glimpses of his newfound companion.

“So you said there’s food?” he asked. “Where exactly are we going?”

Grace laughed again. “Do you know _anything_ about Stroud?”

“Not really.”

“I thought you were staying with a friend. He hasn’t told you about Saturdays?”

“Definitely not.”

“Well you should get him to sort you out when you find him. Saturdays are special. We have a farmers’ market. People have started coming from all over Gloucestershire.”

“For vegetables and fruit and such?”

“It’s not _just_ vegetables and fruit. They sell plenty of baked goods. And with more people coming there are even some vendors now. I’m sure you’ll be able to find _something_ you wouldn’t mind eating.”

“I’m sure. I could eat just about anything at the moment.”

Again, the pair lapsed into a brief silence. Sirius began to notice a distinct increase in the amount of foot traffic near them, marked by the accompanying din of the many individual conversations being carried on by passersby.

“What’s your friend’s name?” Grace interrupted.

“James.”

“Does he have a _last_ name?”

“Oh. You probably wouldn’t know him. His family keep to themselves. He doesn’t even go to school here.”

“Boarding school then?”

Sirius nodded.

“Lovely. Which one? Eton? Charterhouse?”

“Oh I doubt you’ve heard of it. It’s up North. We both go there actually.”

“I might. I’m not dull. I attended Wycombe Abbey.”

“Hog…err–”

“Hoggart? Well, I haven’t heard of that one…”

“It’s in Scotland.”

“Oh. Well then. That’s interesting. Why do your parents send you there?”

“Don’t know really,” Sirius shrugged, eager to drive conversation in another direction. “You know how it is…they just tell you to pack up and go one day…”

“It is that way isn’t it?” Grace frowned. “I really would’ve liked mine to pretend I had a choice. Of course my mother’s whole family went to Wycombe – all the way back to its founding almost, so my sister and I were certain to go – tradition of course.” She sighed. “Look at me going on. Sorry. I’ve only just graduated.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’m studying English at Cambridge. Just summering with the family before I start my first year.”

“Impressive,” Sirius said, nodding. If he wasn’t mistaken, he had detected a thinly-disguised tinge of pride in Grace’s voice.

“Thank you,” she answered demurely, a thin smile playing across her lips.

Sirius had been right. She was quite self-satisfied about whatever it was that went on at Cambridge.

“Well, here it is,” she said simply, gesturing to the beginning of a series of shops and booths set up before them. “Just about any food you could want you ought to be able to find here.”

The young wizard’s eyes widened at the variety and the crowd. From what little he could see from where they stood her statement didn’t seem far off the mark.

“Thanks, Grace,” he said, shaking the young woman’s hand once more.

“My pleasure,” she said, bowing her head briefly before locking eyes with him momentarily. “If you can wait until two for me to finish my shopping, I’ll meet you here to set you in the right direction for getting back to your friend’s place.”

“Two? Sounds brilliant,” Sirius grinned. “I’ll be here.”

“Don’t get lost then,” Grace teased as she moved off into the crowd. “I have somewhere to be afterward, so I’ll just have to leave you if you aren’t on time…”

Alone in the market, Sirius grabbed a small russet potato from one of the wooden crates before him. Tossing it twice between hands, he considered for the first time what kind of projectile it might make. It was certainly weightier than the red-skinned variety that accompanied certain meals at Hogwarts, though it lacked the mess potential inherent to its mashed cousins.

“Hey! You! Are you going to buy that before you drop it?” a rather gaunt looking older man barked out from behind the booth.

Sirius considered him briefly. Clearly he worked the fields. His tanned skin was tight and wrinkled and the young wizard could tell by the leathery finger on his outstretched hand that he spent plenty of time doing hard work.

“I suppose so, sure,” he replied, fumbling around for his coin-purse. “How much?”

“Twenty pence,” the man said gruffly.

Digging about for some Muggle currency, he found six ten-pence coins. “I’ll take three.”

“Right then. Pick whichever you like…”

Reaching in, Sirius grabbed another small one and one that was much larger. Turning around, he decided to wander back toward where he was supposed to meet Grace, squeezing through throngs in front of the more popular booths as he went.

As he neared the exit of the market, he spotted her, standing basket in hand with a loose strand of blonde hair blowing in the gentle breeze. Attempting to wave, he raised a potato-filled hand in the air, failing to notice the quizzical, but slightly amused expression that crossed her face.

“Hello,” she greeted. “Found some food did you?”

“I did. I was hoping for a pie really, but I didn’t have enough.”

“So you’ve settled on potatoes?”

Sirius snorted. “I’ve already eaten. Stopped in a sandwich shop.”

“Well then. Just needed some potatoes for the road then?”

The young wizard crossed his arms. “Why are you so worried about my potatoes?”

“Just seems odd is all,” Grace shrugged. “You go to a farmers’ market and all you eat is a sandwich and all you buy is potatoes. It’s a bit mad.”

“I’ll have you know, I’ve got a purpose for each of these.”

“Do you now?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius harrumphed. “Maybe you ought to just point me in the right direction…”

Grace laughed. “I’m sure your friend was kind enough to do that. Lot of good that did you. He might’ve gotten you to town, but it hardly got you anywhere quickly did it?”

Idly scratching his neck, Sirius begrudgingly shook his head.

“Well where’s he live then?”

“How am _I_ supposed to know from here?”

“Good grief. Is Hoggart one of those special schools?”

Sirius scowled, causing Grace to slide her basket into the crook of her elbow and place her hands on her well-proportioned hips.

The blonde rolled her eyes. “Well did you walk uphill or down?”

“Down.”

“Easy enough. Then we’ll have to go up. Did you pass by farms or fields?”

“Farms mostly.”

“Right. Then come on. I’ll get you to the right edge of town.”

The pair walked on side-by-side. As they passed a group of boys outside a pub, Sirius noticed them leering at his companion. He flashed them a warning look, causing them to avert their gaze and enter into hushed conversation.

“So who’s cooking stew?” Grace asked, breaching the silence.

“What?”

“The potatoes…”

“Oh. No stew. I’ll probably save one to go with lunch next week. I’m sure I’ll be left to my own devices at least once.”

“You seem a bit bitter about it…”

“Not bitter exactly.”

“Could’ve fooled me…”

“Well, I’m not _thrilled_. I’ve been relegated for nearly a year now you know.”

“Relegated?”

“Yeah! I’m James’s best mate! More like brothers really–”

“But he’s got a girlfriend. Poor darling,” she teased, giving him an exaggerated pout. “Is it terrible?”

“Not nearly as terrible as that little show,” Sirius scoffed. “I’ve seen better from my heartless cousin.”

“Anyway,” Grace started, changing the subject, “You look about my age. Are you going to graduate soon?”

“I’ve got another year before I’m finally done.”

“Where are you going for university?”

“University? Not me.”

“Really? Seems a waste for your parents to send you to boarding school if you’re not going on…”

“Yeah. Well, _not_ going to university is kind of a family thing.”

“Oh,” Grace nodded. “Going into a family business. That can still be very respectable. What do they do exactly?”

Sirius frowned. He knew what he wanted to say. That they rested on their fortune, pausing only briefly to make public donations or parlay their heritage into political influence. But _that_ certainly wouldn’t make the proper impression…

“Lobbying.”

“My…” she gasped. “Have you met many officials?”

“Too many…” Sirius chuckled. “I used to spend more time dressing for dinner than I did eating it.”

“It must be terribly interesting though!”

“I suppose. In its own way. Some of them are completely spineless though. Vote for anything if enough money comes their way.”

“Your family _bribes_ people?” Grace asked, her mouth agape in shock and a disgusted expression crossing her face.

“Not _directly_ ,” Sirius said dismissively. “Money for their pet projects. Donations and such.”

“And that’s what _you’re_ going to do?”

“Of course not!” Sirius snapped. “I can’t stand it.”

“Then how are you going to survive not going to university? Won’t your parents be upset?”

“They’ve been upset with me for awhile…sort of why I’m here.”

“Ahh. I had a friend like that. She had to go live with an aunt and uncle after she fell out with her parents over what she was studying.”

“Yes, well…when I said it’s the family business, with mine it’s the _whole_ family basically. Lucky I’ve got a friend like James. _His_ parents are brilliant.”

“What do they do?”

“His mum’s a director – philanthropic stuff. His dad works for the government if you can believe it.”

“I don’t suppose your family ever tried to lobby _him_ …”

“Definitely not. They know _he_ has principles,” Sirius said, straightening up and puffing out his chest.

“Well…here you are,” Grace said, gesturing to the road before them. “Remember this?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Sirius said, looking away for a moment. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Grace smiling slightly, twisting the tip of one of her shoes on the sidewalk.

“Funny how it happened, but it was good to meet you,” the blonde offered.

“You too,” Sirius said, brushing his hair back out of his face again.

“Well…I’ve got to get home and help with dinner. Perhaps I’ll trip over you again.”

Sirius chuckled, bidding Grace goodbye with a wave. “Maybe…I will be here all summer.”

As he set off for the Potter estate, Sirius let his mind turn immediately to their conversation. Talking to Grace had been refreshing in a way he’d never expected when they met. She was sharp and not afraid to deliver a jab his way. Best of all though, she didn’t know him. Talking about himself still worked in riddles. After all, only so much truth can be laid bare when conversing with a Muggle. But still, there had been a certain freedom about this exchange, being able to share more without fear of rumor or reprisal. After making it a short distance down the road, the long-locked wizard spared a cautious glance behind him. Grace was already gone. Fixing his eyes upward, he made a mental note to venture to town again soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We’re making steady progress through the summer now and progressing ever closer to seventh year now! I’m interested in your thoughts on this Sirius-centric chapter if you care to share them. Did his characterization seem right? What did you think of Grace and she and Sirius’s interactions?
> 
> Next up will be a chapter focusing partly on Peter and partly on Snape, before I return focus to James and Katie for a chapter. The outside world will be developing in the background of both of these and then there should be another chapter with Lily before the moment you all keep asking for. I’ve decided it would be too basic to have summer end right there, so that will be followed by a couple additional chapters setting up everyone’s return to school. The upshot of all this is that there will now be a ninth summer chapter, but with a firm vision now in mind for the progression, I should be able to continue moving more briskly.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	32. Jungleland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "His side searing and fists pummeling his face, he simply prayed to survive it.

It was half-past ten. Peter scurried quickly down the street. He knew he had stayed far too late meeting with Arnold Baker in Diagon Alley, but after they perused quidditch gear together after dinner and then became embroiled in a lively debate about the merits of the Wronski Feint outside with two middle-aged wizards outside Flourish and Blotts, the sky had slowly faded into the deep blue Peter knew as danger without him noticing. By the time he finally reached his borough the warning was gone. The sky had gone black.

Down an alleyway beside him, he heard the noises of an argument. Probably old Mr. Crocetti trying to ward off the beggars as he left for home with the last of the day’s fresh meat he would probably put on Angelo’s sandwich tomorrow. As he made haste for home, Peter stopped in his tracks, tucking himself in the doorway of an abandoned storefront as best he could. There, gathered en masse under the dim lamppost across the street, were Nigel and his thugs. He cursed his inability to perform magic outside of school yet. If only it were August, he could slip past them with a disillusionment charm or perhaps put out their light momentarily. He allowed himself a tepid smile at the notion. That would put a bee in their bonnet, being robbed, even for a time, of their precious light. After all, in the dingy part of London they all called home, even for hard men like them, light was safety.

Still, as things were, he would have to try once more to get past them. Carefully, Peter moved his wand to the expanded pocket his mother had made of the one the maker of his jeans had intended for change. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out onto the sidewalk, slipping forward quickly while they lit their cigarettes and laughed. He rounded the corner, relief washing over him as he quietly made it a few buildings away. He exhaled. It was going to be his night tonight.

“Oi! Pettigrew!” a voice yelled gruffly.

Nigel.

Peter broke immediately into a full sprint, at least as full of one as he could manage. A couple blocks ahead he could just make out the tiny light by the entrance to his family’s flat. He could do this. This time, he could make it.

The young wizard’s soles slapped the stones of the street and he heard the jeers and pounding of feet on pavement behind him. At the first crossing he spared a glance backward, dismayed to find they were closing on him quickly. Peter had been many things, but he was never an athlete. His heart pounding in his chest he hoped desperately one of the constantly absent constables would save him. Of course it was a vain wish. Even the police, with their complete lack of manpower in this area knew better than to invite trouble by walking these streets at night. Halfway to the second crossing, he began panting. His pursuers’ footsteps were closer now. Soon, he knew, he would be within reach. Digging within himself, he found a second gear, willing himself to move faster. As he crossed the second street and was nearly to his door, he allowed the faintest hope to flare that he might actually make it.

Alas, that idea was shattered along with the glass of the empty bottle that struck him in the side of the head. With a despairing “oomph” and a hard thud, Peter fell face first onto stone. His face stung from both the friction and the impact. He could already tell his head had been cut decently. Fighting almost to his feet, he felt them grab him by the shirt on his back, slinging him down the last available alley. Spitting out blood as he staggered to his feet, he could clearly see Nigel’s teeth, doubtless surrounded by smirking lips as he advanced on Peter in the darkness.

“Peter,” he tutted, “we really oughta stop meetin’ like this…”

“Just leave me alone!”

Nigel shook his head. “Leave ‘im alone. You ‘ear that boys?”

Guffaws rang out behind the brute. His wall of backup now blocked Peter’s only available path of escape.

“Jus’ give in. Take it like a good lad and I’ll jus’ do it myself this time. As a favor. Fight though…” he smirked again, “well…you know how that ends.”

Feebly, Peter raised his fists.

Nigel looked upward briefly as he closed the last of the distance between him. “Tha’s the problem with rats,” he sneered, spitting on Peter’s shoe. “They _never_ learn.”

The muscled ringleader swung hard at Peter’s head, leading the young wizard to duck immediately. Peter landed a blow to his opponent’s side before connecting with a quick jab to the face. Unable to withdraw quickly enough though, he took a powerful punch to the stomach, doubling over. Evading a second, he tried to strike back, but Nigel caught his fist in an iron grip before pounding Peter in the head with his off hand. Peter stumbled back as Nigel pressed forward, socking him twice in the jaw before landing a punch squarely in his victim’s face.

Blood flowed freely from Peter’s nose and he could tell that the jabs had produced a cut on his upper lip. One of the advantages of wearing a sizable ring, the Gryffindor thought bitterly.

Lashing out in desperate anger, he charged forward, wrapping his arms around Nigel and taking him to the ground. As he reached back to deliver what he hoped would be the first of many blows however, the thug beneath him kicked out, striking Peter hard in the chest and sending him sprawling.

“Come on lads,” Nigel yelled. “We owe ‘im somethin’ extra special for that…”

Before he could rise, Peter felt Nigel’s boot slam into his chest again, pinning him briefly to the ground. As it lifted, the ringleader’s top lieutenants arrived, sneering down at the beaten boy before driving their boots into his ribs for the first time.

Covering his face with his arms to gain some semblance of protection, Peter mentally steeled himself for the pain of their onslaught. This time, he had landed some blows. He knew the punishment would be immense. His side searing and fists pummeling his face, he simply prayed to survive it.

Severus Snape frowned at the musty old book in front of him. He could hear water running again, this time accompanied by the sound of metal scraping glass. When the water finally stopped, he listened carefully, hearing the unmistakable sound of his mother’s frail body slumping down the cabinetry and onto the floor. Nights often ended this way during the summer and his father always blamed him. The bitter Muggle who had helped give him life had to work extra shifts during the summer because there was an extra mouth to feed once more. Severus was deemed incapable of doing the same because he lacked his father’s raw strength and muscular build. He had suggested working in a local bookshop, but his father had insisted that clerking a store was for women. Of course it didn’t stop him from railing against the amount of leftovers or type of food waiting at the table upon his return.

The young wizard refocused his attention on the Latin text in front of him. As he read he felt an increasing sense of exhilaration. One day, things would be different. When that day came, his father would see true strength – the kind only a wizard and his wand were capable of. Picking his up from the center of the book lying at his feet, he followed the incantation and movements to the letter. He gazed curiously at his steel bin across the room as its sides bowed gently. Making the circles he was tracing with the end of his wand tighter still, he paid rapt attention as the metal began to bend. He thought of his father again. His mother had been made to waste a perfectly good meal for no reason other than the sweaty wastrel’s irrational anger. Perhaps the food would be more to his liking if he didn’t waste it buying rounds at the pub for his crew. Severus blinked and lowered his wand. Across the room, the bin had folded in on itself, crushed under the weight of his magic.

Suddenly he was startled by a gentle rapping on his door.

“Severus? Darling? What was that noise?”

“Nothing mother. I tripped on the way to my closet.”

“I see,” she said, sniffling. “Well…do be careful.”

“I’m fine,” he answered evenly, standing perfectly still until her heard her walk away.

One day, Severus told himself, his mother wouldn’t have to suffer the indignity of this inglorious life. One day, she would be rewarded for her heritage. His schoolmates might laugh now, but they would leave Hogwarts having only scratched the surface of the abilities. Whatever inane job they went on to hold would certainly not make them much sharper. More skilled in certain areas, naturally, but mediocrity was the best they could hope for when they began at such a pathetic starting place. He on the other hand, would rise to greatness they couldn’t possibly imagine. They were _all_ so ignorant. Their snide comments. Their put-downs. Their little pranks. _He_ was designing his own magic – without even having graduated. Few students could make such a claim. He deserved to be at the top of his class, but the Board of Governors seemed intent on thwarting that particular goal, forcing him to go on under professors who completely ignored originality and usefulness. What use was conjuring a living creature anyway? Birds? Far wiser to conjure something simpler but of greater significance. Valuable materials perhaps. Or a weapon. While the class had gone on tittering about their feathered little friends, Severus spent his time pondering and practicing extraction magic. McGonagall had the audacity to give him only an Exceeds Expectations when he flawlessly conjured a raven because of his “poor effort” during their in-class exercises.

Once again, he found himself interrupted by his mother’s insistent knock.

“What?” he said exasperatedly.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Severus, but there’s someone here to see you.”

“At this hour?”

“Well, yes…I was surprised about that myself, but he’s here nonetheless.”

“Who is it?”

“Merlin…I’ve forgotten his name. He’s rather tall…blond…he said you’d gone to school together for a time.”

“Of course,” Severus said hurriedly. “I’ll come out to meet him.”

A few minutes later, he was walking alongside Lucius Malfoy through the darkened streets of Cokeworth. Stepping cautiously into an alleyway, the older wizard grabbed his hand and with a crack, they were gone, transported to the banks of the nearby river.

“Severus,” Lucius nodded.

“Lucius. It’s been…some time.”

The blond young man looked down at him. “Don’t act pitiful,” he sneered. “I warned you at school that act would cause you trouble. Things are far less welcoming here.”

“Pity has nothing to do with this!” he shot back hotly. “It’s been months.”

Lucius snorted. “Surely you _have_ been reading the papers. Other matters have occupied our attention. Matters with significance outside the cozy little nest of Hogwarts.”

Severus crossed his arms and spun away, staring out across the dark and dirty water. “Yet here you are now.”

“Now, I have something to discuss.”

The greasy-haired wizard raised his chin into the air.

“If you’re not interested–”

Turning to face Lucius once more, Severus eyed his old Prefect warily.

“In?”

“In the news I have to deliver.”

Severus nodded once.

“You’ve made wise connections at Hogwarts. Connections who are now more interested to see that you do well in our world, despite your…handicap.”

“And what, dare I ask, has piqued their interest?”

“A spell you’ve developed…”

“Avery,” Severus groaned in irritation.

“You should thank him. His boasting on your behalf earned you this opportunity.”

“Opportunity?”

“Yes. To demonstrate.”

“On?”

“This.”

Lucius produced his wand, flicking it toward a nearby tree. To Severus’s surprise, a small goat trotted out from the surrounding underbrush, a severed cord of rope trailing from its neck.

“Now?”

“Or never,” Lucius said evenly.

Severus narrowed his eyes and produced his wand.

The goat paused briefly to look about. Upon seeing the two wizards, it began bleating.

Eyeing the animal’s hairy neck, Severus pointed his wand and slashed fiercely as he shouted the incantation.

The bleating stopped as the thick grass where the animal once stood rustled slightly before being crushed under the weight of the warm carcass.

“What do you call it?” Lucius asked coolly.

“ _Sectumsempra_.”

A hard slap brought Peter back. He groaned, attempting to open his eyes.

“Hold off, Virge. He’s comin’ ‘round.”

Despite his throbbing head, he directed all his will toward pressing up on his eyelids. It was still as if he was squinting. His field of vision seemed limited to what was directly in front of him.

“What happened here, son?” a second voice asked firmly.

A face with a brown mustache. A uniform. Peter could see that much. And it was light out. Of course they’d come now. “La-las’ nigh’…” he slurred. “A ‘uncha ‘uys…’ugs.” Merlin he sounded awful.

“Bloody gangs,” the officer muttered. “We’re gonna get you to the hospital.”

As he raised his arm to wave them off, a sharp pain shot through Peter’s side, but he fought through it. “No,” the young wizard said clearly.

“C’mon lad. No sense in pride. We’ll give you a lift. Not as if you’ll be footing the bill either.”

“ _No_.”

The officer scowled. “Well we can hardly leave you. You live ‘round here?”

Peter nodded. “Arou’ ‘e ‘or’er…” he managed, waving his arm toward the end of the alley and to the right.

“Around the corner? Hell, you’d nearly made it.”

Wincing, the young wizard gave his best effort at a smile.

The officer cocked an eyebrow and shook his head before extending a hand. “I’ll help you up,” he offered, beckoning a second man Peter could barely see in his periphery over. Together the pair lifted Peter from his position against a pile of trash and shredded newspaper.

“Can you stand?”

Peter nodded and began walking home.

“Hey!” the first officer called out. “Which gang? You know who did this to you?”

Peter turned and glared, at least as much as one could with a face as swollen as his. “ ‘ou ough’a ‘ow,” he grumbled. “I’ ‘a ‘ige’ ‘arri’gto’.”

“Come again?”

“ ‘ _Ige_ ’ ‘ _arr_ ’ _gto_ ’!”

The officers looked at one another.

“Yeah. We’ll come find you when you’ve healed up, right? Can’t understand the name.”

Turning around to finish the last leg of his journey, Peter shook his head. He would never see them again.

A few minutes later, he had made it into his family’s flat. As usual, no one was home. His father had abandoned the family two weeks after his tenth birthday, taking nearly everything that had once occupied their spacious family vault with him. According to his mother, when she’d finally found it in her to walk inside, all she’d found was a spiteful note stating he’d left enough gold for Peter’s school supplies. Hardly. But it _was_ something, and far better than having to apply for Ministry Aid just to afford a wand.

Since then it had been left to him to keep the house in order. His mother’s job as a seamstress for Madam Malkin was enough to pay the rent and keep food on the table, but only just. At least she had managed to get Hannah to school without him. The gawky, pale little girl would have endless questions about his absence when she got back from Muggle primary school this afternoon.

Trudging into his bedroom, Peter sighed. It was for the best they weren’t here. Mum would’ve been beside herself and Hannah…a girl her age needn’t see how brutal the world could be. As it was he could heal himself up and get dinner ready so he could play a bit with his sister. At eight she was still content enough to play the simple board games he had when he was younger. It had been some time since the pair of them had played a decent game of Dragon’s Quest, and perhaps that would deter his mother from cornering him before Hannah went to bed. Without his father in the picture, she needed an example of strength – someone she could count on – it wouldn’t do to have her accidentally overhearing how thoroughly he’d been whipped.

Still, left to his own devices, Peter knew it was also imperative that he not allow anger to creep in. There had been a time last summer when he almost let it get the best of him. He had been even later than last night and Nigel’s gang had already dispersed to do whatever malicious activity they entertained themselves with in his absence. The leader had been left unusually alone at the lamppost, and Peter had carefully followed him into his other safe haven, Tall Arnold’s Pub. Hidden amidst the smoke in the back of the bar, Peter had watched him for hours. He had been afforded multiple opportunities. And he had been so furious after they’d mugged him around midday that he nearly forgot about the trace. Only a sudden outburst by Leonard Updike, the town drunk, who stumbled into his way, almost knocking his target to the ground had prevented Peter from unleashing the unspeakable curse he had seen in the margin of a book Sirius had nicked from his father’s library.

In that moment, the young Gryffindor had questioned himself like he never had before. Every witch or wizard contemplated using something dark against an enemy at one time or another he was sure. But how many came as close as he had that night – at his age no less – to actually carrying it out? It was a troubling experience, the one part of his home life he never shared, even with his friends.

Shaking away the memory, he extracted his wand from his jeans. Thankfully it had remained intact despite the severity of his beating. Beginning with his face, Peter set to work erasing the physical signs of last night’s humiliation. Looking at a picture of he and Hannah sticking out of the mirror on his wall, he promised himself he would let time heal the emotional scars as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I decided to explore some darker material in this chapter, including Peter’s home life. However, that’s not to say it was just there to switch up the mood. This chapter actually lays the groundwork for some important things that will span the rest of the story and explain some of what goes on later, particularly with respect to these two characters’ individual actions. If you’re in a reviewing mood, I’m always interested in any thoughts you have, but I’d particularly like to know what you think of both the scenes involving Peter and what I revealed about his character here. Realistic? Interesting? Did anything jump out as significant or particularly pique your interest?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	33. Dinner with the Potters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So what will you be doing after Hogwarts, Katie?"

“James! Come help me with the settings!” Beatrice Potter called out from the spacious and well-appointed dining room that lay at the heart of the family estate.

“Coming! Just let me grab my jacket.”

“Good grief! Your jacket? It’s your girlfriend coming to dinner, not the Minister,” she tutted.

“Well, I’ve got a feeling she’s going to dress up. I don’t want to her to feel out of place,” James insisted, entering the room as he shrugged the navy coat over his shoulders.

Beatrice shook her head, simply gesturing toward the pile of silverware and napkins before making for the kitchen.

“I thought I was _helping_ you…”

“You’ll survive. I’ve got to check on the roast.”

Grumbling, James set about placing the napkins first. Most other pureblood ladies would have Tinka doing all this, but not his mother. She stubbornly insisted on taking full charge of the meal-making and preparations for all the major dinners held at their home. Of course Tinka would do all the serving that evening, but only because the little elf was nearly as stubborn herself. James remembered the lone occasion his mum had tried to give Tinka the night off, the poor thing had broken down in tears, starting to punish herself by rapidly striking her head against the wall. Apparently, she had considered the offer to be some form of bizarre punishment. The house elf was hardwired with the kind of work ethic that would put even the proudest Hufflepuff to shame. A compromise of sorts had ultimately resolved things, both creating the present ritual, and ensuring that James, the only heir of a wealthy, pureblood family learned to set the table.

As James set down the last of the gleaming silver spoons at his place, he heard a soft pop. Turning around, he saw his father advancing on him, his arms outstretched before he closed them firmly, wrapping James in a tight hug.

“Tonight’s the night then!” Fleamont Potter said warmly. “You know, I’ve been telling your mother it was high time we met this girl you’ve told me so much about.”

James nodded tepidly. “Absolutely. Long overdue.”

Fleamont cocked his head to the side, carefully considering his son’s even response. “You know Beatrice,” he called out loudly, “I think it might be best you come in here for a moment.”

“Fleamont? You’re home! And in the nick of time!” she replied, hurrying into the room as Tinka trailed behind her with the food suspended in mid-air. “Can you fasten my necklace darling?”

James shook his head and watched as the familiar routine played out. His father’s initial response was to pout, prompting a light giggle from his mother before she turned around and kissed him chastely.

“I’ve missed you, darling,” Beatrice said earnestly.

“Yes, well…I’m sure you just needed a gentle reminder,” Fleamont chuckled playfully. “Now you were mentioning something about a necklace?”

“Yes, yes!” she said, quickly handing the simple strand of pearls over and facing away as James’s father swiftly fastened the clasp. “And you were saying something about needing to come in? Whatever for?”

James shifted from foot to foot.

Beatrice’s eyes narrowed. “James Potter…now a lot of preparation has gone into this. Physical of course, but it’s all rather emotional as well, the first girl my son has brought to meet us and if you’ve–”

“She’s _coming_ , Mum,” James interrupted.

“Good then. So what’s the problem? Fleamont?”

“Well, I don’t know that there is one for certain, but James looked as if he had something on his mind, so I figured it might be best if we both heard it all at once. Son?”

“I just want you to…you know…be _normal_.”

“Normal? Now when on Earth have we not been normal around your friends?” his mother asked.

“That’s different,” James said, waving a hand dismissively. “They understand _our_ normal. Pete not so much, but you know, Remus and Sirius.”

“Come out with it,” Fleamont said firmly. “She’ll be here any moment.”

“You know if you could just…tone it down a bit. All the joking and touching and such.”

Beatrice looked at her husband, eyes twinkling with mirth as he let out a loud guffaw. “Merlin! I knew this day would come eventually,” he started, his words still broken by laughter. “We’ve finally made it! The moment our son is embarrassed by our antics. Well…” he continued, cuffing James on the shoulder. “she must be a special girl indeed.”

At precisely that moment, the doorbell rang. The Potters’ diminutive old house elf made quickly to answer, but James reached out to hold her back.

“Have a rest, Tinka. I’ll get it.”

“But Master James, Tinka–”

“I _know_ you always answer for us, but this time’s a little different. I _want_ to get it.”

“But Master–”

“Tinka…” James said, the gentlest of warnings creeping into his tone.

“Of course, sir. If Master James insists, Tinka will simply wait until she is needed.”

Bowing, the small creature trudged off toward the kitchen defeated.

James on the other hand walked briskly down the hallway and around the corner to the large foyer, unlocking the door and flinging it open wide to reveal his girlfriend. Casting aside the thought that his parents would be following at any moment, he looked into Katie’s blue eyes and smile, before stealing a tender kiss.

“Hello to you too,” she said, grinning before he took her hand to invite her in.

“Hey,” James whispered in her ear. “It’s been _nearly_ four _whole_ days.”

Katie squeezed his hand tightly, looking quickly around the expansive entry room. “I know.”

Just then, the elder Potters appeared, both smiling broadly.

Gesturing in their direction, James introduced them with a shrug. “Well…this is my mum and dad.”

Katie fought the urge to laugh at her boyfriend’s awkward presentation, so she could keep smiling uninterrupted.

“Mum, Dad…this is Katie Wallenby.”

Beatrice was the first to extend her hand. “Beatrice Potter,” she said warmly. “I’ve heard _so_ many things about you. It’s wonderful to finally meet. This old man is my husband, Fleamont.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Fleamont nodded, shaking Katie’s hand firmly. “Don’t listen to her though”, he whispered conspiratorially. “She makes me out to be a pensioner.”

Katie laughed lightly. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you too!”

After a short smattering of small talk about the town and the weather, dinner was served. Using the Potters’ finest platters and most elegant plateware, Tinka had slowly but surely set forth the feast that James’s mother had spent the day cooking.

“Ahh the _piece de resistance_ ,” Fleamont Potter declared grandly upon seeing the beautifully braised roast laid at the center of it all. “You’ve outdone yourself again my dear.”

Beatrice beamed with pride, sitting even more upright in her chair. “I’ve told you before darling, it’s no trouble at all. I really do love to do it. Though I think you’ll find I’ve done something extra special for this occasion.”

The patriarch raised a thick gray eyebrow before shooting his wife an intrigued stare.

With his parents distracted, James used the moment to reach carefully for one of the golden rolls lying near where he and Katie were seated. Treating her to a sidelong wink, he opened his hand slowly. He could nearly taste it now…

“Don’t think I don’t see you, James,” his mother tutted. “Honestly,” she continued, shaking her head and looking to Katie, “I promise I’ve taught him better manners. But then I’m sure he’s always like this at Hogwarts isn’t he?”

Katie allowed herself a nervous chuckle, happy to be engaged directly in conversation, but caught in two minds about whether to be honest with James’s mother or politely defend her boyfriend. “It depends on the meal…if there are pastries to be had at breakfast it _is_ nearly impossible to get one.”

Beatrice laughed gaily. “Oh I’m certain. James always has been rather ravenous in the mornings.”

“Yes. But I hear you’ve been reigning him in a bit,” James’s father offered.

Katie blushed lightly, sneaking a look at James. “I wouldn’t say that exactly…”

James waved a hand away. “Actually, Katie’s been brilliant. I think I got more studying done than ever. I’m hoping it’s going to pay off when the owl brings our letters.”

“ _Studying_. Merlin. What is the world coming to?” Fleamont joked. “I haven’t seen you and Sirius practicing any innovative spells though.”

“Well, Katie helped reacquaint me with the fundamentals,” James interceded. “You know, showed me there’s some merit in the details.”

“Good for you!” James’s father praised. “I’ve been trying to get James to focus on form for ages. I suppose it takes the right motivation…”

“Goodness, Fleamont!”

“What? I was young once. As you should well remember.”

Katie laughed.

James groaned.

“All I’m saying is that James and his friends have rather had a flair for the dramatic over the years. It’s refreshing to know he’s not _entirely_ his mother’s son.”

“His _mother’s_ son? Because _I_ was the one who jinxed the Slytherin banners during the awarding of the House Cup…”

“You jinxed the banners?” James asked. “Not a half bad idea. Though Dumbledore’s supposedly got them shielded now somehow…”

“James!” Katie said sharply. “I’d love it if you could avoid getting sentenced to detention our first day back this year.”

The messy-haired wizard lowered his head slightly as he raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. Maybe the second day then?” he quipped.

“I could do without so many letters this year myself,” Beatrice commented. “You’d think in your very last year you could spare your mother’s heart the worry you’ll finally be expelled.”

James laughed loudly. “Merlin, Mum. They’d have done that long ago if they were going to!”

A comfortable silence fell for a moment and the Potters took the opportunity to tuck in.

Katie watched quietly as they reached for the salad first, passing it around until it finally reached her. Putting an appropriate amount on one of the smaller plates, she looked down at the bewildering array of silverware set in front of her. Things were simpler at home. One fork, one knife, and sometimes a spoon if the meal required it.

She was reassured by James’s voice in her ear. “You picked the right plate. Just work your way in with the silverware. And save the tiny spoon for dessert.”

Blushing lightly again, she managed a whispered thank you before James’s mother engaged her again.

“So what will you be doing after Hogwarts, Katie?”

“Oh…well, I’m not really sure to be honest. I mean. I have an idea of what I’d like to do, but I’m not sure I’ll have the marks.”

“The girl who’s captured my son’s attention? Worried about marks? Don’t be so hard on yourself!” Fleamont Potter said boldly. “Assuming the marks are there, what are you after?”

“Well…I’d like to become a Healer at St. Mungo’s.”

“Ahh. An excellent choice. Any particular area? You know, I know many of the hospital administrators that review the applications since they’re always requesting funding for new research through my Department.”

“I think I’m most interested in childhood illnesses – Scaly-Skin Sickness, DeHavre’s Diminution Disease, and things like that. I know it’s rather basic, but I’ve always wanted to help children.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Beatrice said glowingly. “There aren’t enough people with caring instincts in our world these days.”

Fleamont shook his head. “That’s for certain. The attacks seem to be getting worse. I’ve been talking with Ashley Gettles from the Auror Office about it. These Death Eaters are getting more brazen by the day. Difficult to trace too. Though obviously with their agenda there should be plenty of clear suspects.”

“They’re sick. Same as the things they do” James said darkly, furrowing his brow and scrunching his face up in disgust. “Purifying magic? It’s twisted.”

“I agree with you, James,” his father said. “I think most about the children, but I was most disquieted by the images I saw of the Prophet’s young political correspondent. Gruesome…” he added, shaking his head. “I’ve talked to dozens of people in law enforcement, but their hands are tied. The Minister doesn’t want to declare an end to peacetime so soon after Grindelwald was defeated…”

“They’re wasting time,” James said angrily. “Someone needs to do _something_.”

“I’ve been told there are plans in the works,” Fleamont shrugged. “I wish I could do more, but the last time I tried to truly step outside the Department the Minister made it quite clear it wasn’t approved of.”

Listening to the heated conversation, Katie kept her eyes switching back and forth between the two men at the table, nervously nibbling on her lower lip.

Noticing her behavior, Beatrice cut in. “Boys…” she warned gently. “Let’s talk about something a bit lighter. After all James, there’s still so much we have to learn about Katie.”

“Sorry,” James said sheepishly, sharing an apologetic look with his girlfriend.

“It’s fine,” Katie offered, glad that James immediately blew off her false reassurance and began talking about the Quidditch Cup final once more. That topic, she considered, was certain to go better with dessert.

By the time she got home, dropped off at the door by her wonderful, talented, caring boyfriend, Katie was floating on air. The nasty comments in the library that had stuck with her since last year _were_ all lies. The Potters had been far more down-to-earth than she expected, but most importantly she felt she had more than held her own in conversation on a variety of topics. And she hadn’t completely botched the meal etiquette.

As she climbed the stairs however, she noticed her parents’ door open, with both sitting at the small table that was normally used for family meetings. A single, large candle illuminated the area where it sat and Katie could see as she mounted the top stair that her parents were deep in conversation. As she made quickly for her room, she was forced to stop dead in her tracks.

“Katie? Is that you?” Mary Wallenby asked.

Retracting her hand from the doorknob and turning back toward her mother, Katie groaned. “Yes Mum?”

“Come here sweetheart. Your father and I need to talk to you about something.”

As she entered the room, she could see the gloomy expressions that darkened her parents’ normally bright faces. Sitting down, it quickly became apparent that her mother had been crying. Mary Wallenby’s eyes and the tip of her nose were still red. Katie could see her mum’s favorite handkerchief clutched tightly in an ashen fist below the tabletop.

“Mum? What’s wrong?”

“I…Oh my little girl…” she trailed off, sniffing loudly and burying her head in her hands as she tried to compose herself. “It was never supposed to be this way…” the older witch said, shaking her head sadly as she once again narrowly avoided her voice breaking.

Katie watched as her father placed his arm around her mother, stroking her shoulder gently and whispering reassurances in her ear before sitting back upright.

“What is it, Dad?” she insisted.

Shaking his head he tossed Katie the evening edition of the Daily Prophet. Gasping as she covered her mouth in shock, Katie tried to keep herself from breaking.

“I know,” her father said simply, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as well.

“It’s…but we…it _can’t_ be,” Katie protested.

“I know,” her father repeated. “But I’m afraid it is. Your Aunt Susan and Timothy…they were vacationing. They thought everything was fine. Even sent me some letters with recent photographs. But they’re saying someone killed them. Some of the–”

“Death Eaters,” Katie interrupted. “They killed them. Just like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I had originally written almost all of this chapter a couple of weeks ago, but was dissatisfied with the direction it took and after starting my re-write my job and other aspects of my personal life became extremely hectic and between that, the House Cup, and the importance of this chapter in terms of set-up, it was hard to get this the way I wanted. I’ll confess I’m still not completely happy with it, but hopefully your thoughtful feedback can give me ideas of how to improve it for the better. What did you think of the dinner scene? What about Beatrice and Fleamont now that we have more on them? How was the ending? Too abrupt? Too short of detail?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	34. Two Reunions and a Trinket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Because you'd always share who you're interested in with Sirius, no matter what?"

“Where are you sneaking off to?” James grumbled, rubbing his eyes as he stood in his doorway wearing only his briefs, a Gryffindor t-shirt, and a horribly mismatched pair of socks.

“Thought I’d go to the market,” Sirius said casually. “Pick up some things for Tinka to re-stock the pantry.”

“The market?” James’s eyes narrowed. “And since when do you care about stocking a pantry?”

“Someone’s got to be responsible around here,” the long-locked wizard huffed.

James let fly a peal of laughter.

“Laugh now,” his friend warned, “but when I bring back a spectacular haul your Mum’s going to be impressed. She might even miss me more next year than you.”

“Good one,” James snarked. “You’d just best be back before Moony and Pete get here. I’ve got big plans for the night.”

“Actually spending it with us are you?”

James crossed his arms and stared, dead-eyed at Sirius. “Says the one who keeps sneaking into town.”

Sirius rolled his eyes theatrically. “I’ll be back.”

“That’s what you said last time. And you were two hours late.”

Fixing his friend with a firm stare, Sirius turned away. “I’ll be back,” he repeated. “And on time at that.”

“Lily!” Alana cried, running headlong out of her house with arms outstretched.

“Hi, Alana,” Lily smiled as she returned the inevitable hug tightly. Breaking away, she looked around briefly. “Marlene’s not here yet then?”

“Right here!” the blonde-haired witch replied, wrapping Lily up from behind. “Had to dust myself off. I just flooed in.”

Surprised, Lily nearly fell over in the grass before steadying herself.

“It’s _so_ good to see you both again,” she said, taking in the view from the hill the Hooper estate was built on. “I’ve spent most of my summer cooped up with mum.”

“And not even a book list yet to set you into a frenzy…” Marlene quipped.

Lily tossed a glare in her friend’s direction, feigning irritation.

“Everything looks as if it’s returned to normal though,” she offered, gesturing around the large front lawn on which they stood.

Lily remembered the last letter she had received well. Apparently there had been a mistake with the venue for Alexandra’s reception, it having been booked for the same weekend by the daughter of some fabulously wealthy London banker. Accordingly, Alana had been forced to scramble to help turn the grounds of the spacious family home into a wedding reception still fit for the princess that Alexandra believed herself to be.

“Thank Merlin!” Alana grumbled loudly. “By the time I got through that wedding day I was nearly ready to swear off the whole idea.”

Marlene laughed as the three began walking, following Alana toward the western hedge before making for the gardens out back.

“As if your parents would let you,” she scoffed. “I’m sure they’re already planning to marry you off as we speak.”

Alana frowned. “Now you mention it…”

“No!” Marlene gasped. “Surely not! You’re not out of Hogwarts even!”

“They’re worried about things.”

Lily’s disposition soured. She had hoped visiting with her friends would be an escape from everything she’d been reading in the _Prophet_. She should have known better.

“I can understand that, but hopefully they’re not planning anything drastic…” Marlene trailed off

“Well, they haven’t resorted to pairing me off with one of the less ‘pure’ Slytherins, if that’s what you mean.”

“They oughtn’t be trying to pair you off with anyone. It’s your decision. Arranging things? It’s barbaric,” Lily interjected.

“It’s hardly _barbaric_ ,” Marlene retorted. “It’s only this century really it stopped being such a firm wizarding tradition. A good third of our classmates’ parents were arranged…Anyway, Alana, I’m sure they’ll settle down and see reason. It’s not as if you’re–”

“Muggle-born?” Lily asked hotly.

“Lily, I–”

“Just forget it.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Marlene implored.

“I get it,” the she said dismissively.

“Come on, Lily,” Alana said. “You know she didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just–”

“Reality.”

“Well…” Marlene trailed off.

“I’ve seen the papers. Let’s just talk about something else.”

The trio stopped and Lily began staring into the fountain at the center of the Hoopers’ backyard. She shouldn’t have reacted so sharply. She knew better. Still, with the increasing amount of overt violence and killings, it was hard to help. It was very visceral. They hadn’t pursued any families _exactly_ like hers yet – ones with a witch or wizard of age at home – but she wondered how long that would hold. It _was_ reality. Any moment before school they could strike at all three of them. Or Petunia. They might even do it while she was away.

Conscious that both her friends were staring at her amidst what had now become an uncomfortable silence, she straightened herself up and inhaled deeply.

“Want to hear something wild?” Alana said suddenly, attempting to break the ice.

“Sure,” Lily offered, taking the bait.

“You’ll _never_ guess who was supposedly at the wedding reception that replaced my sister’s.”

“Who?” both other girls asked.

“Sirius Black.”

Marlene cocked an eyebrow. “Sirius Black? At a _Muggle_ wedding?”

“That’s what my cousin says…”

“And how would he know?”

“Some of the lads got a bit…buzzed…as the night wore on. A few went to the other spot to see who we’d been booted for in person.”

“Probably the Firewhiskey playing tricks on their eyes,” Lily muttered. “The day Black darkens the doorstep of a wedding will be the day Slughorn gives me a Troll in Potions.”

“Thanks for going with me,” Grace said simply. “Lucky I ran into you in the market really. I still can’t believe that little twit bailed on me. I’ve known him for years…”

“Lucky indeed,” Sirius smirked.

Grace narrowed her eyes as they approached another booth offering assorted vegetables. “Don’t get cheeky,” she rebuked. “I’m off to school soon enough. _That_ was a one-time event. Purely out of necessity.”

Sirius sniffed dramatically and feigned wiping a tear from his eye. “I’m hurt.”

“You’re such a fool. Does anyone at your school take you seriously?”

“I’m quite popular if you must know,” Sirius said proudly, casting a wink in the blonde beauty’s direction.

“Difficult to imagine with all the guff you give.”

Sirius let the point drop, pretending to scrutinize the produce before them. He wasn’t quite sure what all the fuss was about honestly. A red onion versus a yellow one? Merlin…he hadn’t even known there was another type of carrot than orange.

“I thought you were supposed to be showing me how to pick these things out,” he grumbled. “I have appearances to uphold you know.”

“I thought this best mate of yours had a more laid-back family.”

“They are, but they do hold important functions. Can’t be serving shoddy…green beans,” he finished lamely as he considered the crate his hand was perched over.

Sparing a glance at the heavily-tanned farmer above him, Sirius immediately noticed a disapproving frown.

“Not that any of _yours_ would be of course, but just for future reference,” he added.

The farmer narrowed his eyes and shook his head.

“Best we move on then,” Grace said plainly. “It’s a good thing I’ve never liked his booth anyway. You’d have caused me trouble.”

“Move on? I liked the look of those onions!” Sirius protested.

Grace laughed. “They were awful. Completely pock-marked. You really are poor at this.”

After some time spent navigating the booths and finally loading a basket that Sirius hoped would help replenish the Potters’ pantry, he and Grace made their way back toward the edge of town. It would only be a few blocks before they parted ways for the last time.

Following their chance meeting on his first trip into town, Sirius had found that James’s trips to see his girlfriend throughout the summer had turned from annoyance to opportunity. He had managed to run into Grace at the market on several occasions, each time coupling his natural impishness with a bewildered boy act. After a couple trips, her authoritative aloofness had given way to a warmer demeanor. He had also been pleasantly surprised to find that her pointed humor was genuine. The unexpected invitation to be her wedding date had been a spectacular development as far as he was concerned. Based on their conversations he had already gathered she had a brilliant mind, which had been confirmed when he had mentioned Cambridge in passing to a few Muggles he had encountered on the streets.

And it went without saying that she was beautiful. He was far from easily impressed, given the number of girls that pursued him at Hogwarts, but Grace was the type of beauty he respected. Whether amplified like at the wedding or on a simple shopping trip out, she clearly maintained her appearance carefully and was quite happy emphasizing her femininity. Perhaps it was a part of his upbringing he couldn’t shed, but he had always appreciated a girl who dodged the all-too-common ponytail and constantly _chose_ skirts and dresses. As the summer had worn on, her fair complexion had even given way to a light tan which she had apparently earned sunbathing at a lake on her family’s property.

“Do you mind if we stop here?” he asked suddenly as they passed a small shop on the last street in town.

Grace raised her eyebrows. “Will you be asking for my advice?”

“You don’t think I can make my own selection?”

“Well…if you’re as bad with this as you are with onions, I think I have cause for concern.”

Sirius snorted. “Fine. Don’t come in then. I’ll be right out.”

All things considered, that had played out perfectly. He’d have to pretend to browse for ten minutes or so, just to make it all seem natural, but this way there was no chance he’d be exposed.

As he walked toward the simpler items hanging in the back of the store, he suddenly felt himself forced against the wall, charm bracelets and other pieces of more youthful jewelry falling to the ground behind him. He was lucky he had left his basket by the door.

“You git!” James hissed, shedding his invisibility cloak.

Sirius shoved him back lightly. “Hell, Prongs! What are you doing here?”

“Checking up on you and your mysterious trips to the market. I see what you’re up to now though…”

“And you’re about to bloody ruin it!” Sirius whispered harshly.

“Well, if you’d bothered to share, I wouldn’t be here would I?”

Sirius scowled. “I didn’t realize I owed you a report.”

“When you’re talking about my family to a bloody Muggle I think I’ve got some right! Besides, even if she wasn’t, I’m your best mate!”

“Fine. I’ll fill you in later. Just bugger off somewhere ‘til she’s gone.”

“Like hell! You should introduce me!”

“I’m not _about_ to introduce you right now,” Sirius snapped. “I’ve got some work on!”

“Work?”

“She’s a _Muggle_. I’ve got to set it so I can write her don’t I? Now get on!”

“You’re buying her something aren’t you?”

“What makes you–”

“You _are_!” James interrupted, eyes widening. “Fine. I’ll find my way home. But you _owe_ me.”

Sirius watched as his friend cast furtive glances in both directions before disappearing under the cloak again. Finally he could get what he came for. He supposed James had at least used up the time required to make the whole charade believable, but he cursed his luck at getting caught. He wasn’t prepared to explain the situation to everyone. Merlin knew what gloomy outlook Moony would put on the situation. After making his purchase, he swiftly left the store with his basket to find Grace waiting, arms crossed as she glanced at her watch.

“About time then,” she said sharply.

“Sorry…had to make the right choice you know.”

“I’m sure.”

An awkward silence fell between them as they began moving toward their point of parting once again.

Suddenly Sirius stopped.

Casting him a questioning stare, Grace stopped with him.

“Look…I’m rubbish at this really,” Sirius started. “Point is, I think you’re sharp and interesting, and I’d like to write you.”

“I was wondering when you were going to ask. I _did_ take you to a wedding last week.”

“I thought I’d have something to offer when I asked. You know…a parting gift either way it went,” he said, producing a small box from his pocket.

“That really wasn’t necessary…” Grace said, signs of a nervous happiness finally breaking her previously placid exterior.

“I thought it was. It’s nothing crazy. But I noticed you like gold, so I figured…”

“A bracelet!” she said happily. “And it _nearly_ matches my watch. You’re no fool after all are you?”

“I like to think not,” Sirius smirked, handing her a small card.

“And what’s this?”

“My address. School uses a forwarding system through London…don’t ask me why…” he lied. “Anyway, that’s how you’d reach me. Can I expect a letter?”

Grace rolled her eyes. “Get back to your friend. I’ll write you when I get settled in.”

Inside, Sirius cheered. Outside, he simply hugged her tightly before smiling broadly and giving her a parting wave.

Grace returned the smile fully, tucking her hair behind her ear and strolling away.

This time, when Sirius looked back Grace wasn’t gone. Instead, she stood shining the sunlight as she admired her bracelet.

Noticing his lingering stare, she looked up, mouthing a large thank you and waved, his address still held tightly between her fingers.

Remus was the last to arrive that afternoon. Though the date for their latest summer rendezvous had been carefully planned around the timing of the last full moon, there was only so much that could be done. Sirius was moving to his own flat in London the following week and there would be little time to get everyone together between that havoc and the need to prepare for the coming school year.

From his point of arrival in the back courtyard of the sprawling Potter estate, he could see into the dining room where James, Sirius, and Peter were all feasting away on an assortment of Tinka’s most popular baked treats. He shook his head as he watched them bantering amongst themselves and laughing playfully. It was all so carefree.

His life had been anything but over the summer. They had naturally gotten together plenty of times before, and he’d managed to see Lily as well, but the late-night visits to his home by persons unknown were becoming troublingly frequent. His father kept him far from the door and even farther from the truth, refusing to share the identities of those who came calling with him, but Remus knew the visits weren’t good. His father had become paler by the week and his normally composed demeanor had given way to worried thoughtfulness and the installation of new locks on the windows and doors. Just last night he had woken to find his father wandering the property by the light of a lantern, waving his wand. Though he couldn’t be certain, Remus could easily guess what he was doing. Protective charms. The situation was obviously perilous. Would he even make it back to school?

Breaking from his thoughts, he knocked carefully on the back door that opened near Tinka’s kitchen enclave. Inhaling deeply, he tried to push the concerns from his mind. This was a day to be like his friends. This was a day to relax.

“Master Remus!” Tinka greeted him gaily as the door creaked open. “Tinka is so pleased you have been able to join us again! Master James and his friends are meeting in the dining room…”

“Thank you, Tinka,” Remus said kindly, smiling at the old elf and heading for the fun.

When he entered the room, at first he went unnoticed. Apparently Sirius had gotten into some type of trouble as he was being pestered mercilessly by James. Peter looked on with wide eyes, their interaction inviting his rapt attention.

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t _tell_ me!” James insisted. “So she’s a Muggle. It’s not as if she’s got Dragon Pox.”

“Because it’s nothing serious. We’re only just going to start writing,” Sirius fired back.

“It’s not as if I’d have hidden it from you,” James pouted.

“Because you’d _always_ share who you’re interested in with Sirius, no matter what?” Remus asked, amused.

James fixed his friend with a momentary, but firm stare. “Of course I would, Moony,” he replied airily before turning back to Sirius. “Because that’s what best mates _do_.”

Sirius huffed as Peter turned in Remus’s direction.

“You finally made it!” the mousy boy said happily. “What kept you?”

“Just complications with my father,” Remus started wearily. “Nothing important,” he lied. “What’s planned then?”

Sirius and James exchanged glances.

“The year-opening prank, of course!” the long-haired wizard barked. “This is our last shot! We’ve got to start with a bang!”

“And how do you intend on doing that? As a prefect, do I even _want_ to know?”

“Sure you do!” Sirius chirped. “We’ve not settled on the details exactly, but it’s going to be brilliant. Directly after the sorting ceremony…”

“…while the first years are walking in, we’re going to fire tracers on them,” James added. “Nobody’ll have a clue. And we’ll wait until they’re sorted of course and when the food appears…”

“Voila! Pink robes!” Sirius finished.

“Pink robes? For first years?” Remus asked. “It’s a bit pedestrian, don’t you think?”

James waved a hand dismissively. “No, no! That’s the best part!”

“It’s just a distraction,” Peter piped in. “While the Professors are scrambling to fix the robes, they leave their seats, right?”

“Right…”

“And that’s when we charm their chairs! Wobbly legs and down they go!” he said excitedly.

“Okay…”

“Get excited, Moony!” Sirius encouraged. “We need you to help us work out the last bit next. You’re always brilliant with the endings.”

Remus laughed and shook his head. “Come on then…what are the options so far?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We’re officially two chapters away from the return to Hogwarts! This one was honestly more of set-up piece in terms of mood to contrast sharply with how summer will end, but also to probe Sirius some more. Hopefully you enjoyed it anyway!
> 
> With the chapter as a whole, how did it read? Too much dialogue? I always strive for balance, but I know this one was rather skewed and I want to make sure it came across alright. With Sirius, I’m interested to know now what people think of Grace. Does she seem like she would appeal to Sirius based on what you’ve read? What do you think of the idea of Sirius taking romantic interest in a Muggle? Have his actions toward her rung true enough to his character?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	35. Exit, Stage Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I'm sorry. Just...know that I love you with all my heart.

Applause rang through the gallery connecting the main house of the Potter estate to the wing that the family had dedicated to hosting the occasional fundraising gala or Ministry function. Witches in the finest dresses and wizards in their most formal dress robes smiled broadly, many clapping Fleamont Potter on the back or pausing to whisper praise into the ear of his wife, Beatrice.

Behind a black grand piano stood James Potter, clad in classic dress robes. He bowed once more, if only slightly, as the applause began to fade. He was glad at least that his hard work had not gone to waste, with the notable members of his father’s Department and other Ministry dignitaries impressed with his rendition of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. It always amused James the rumors Muggles had come up with about one of the greatest magical composers of all time. His favorite was the story that it was the man’s rapidly deteriorating hearing that had led him to cut the legs off his pianos. Beethoven had been going deaf, true enough, but the legs had come off during the composer’s effort to devise a spell that would enable him to visualize music to compensate for his hearing loss. Ultimately, he’d been successful, allowing him to create his Late works. The pianos he’d left as they were – a superstition after the prolific success of his Middle period compositions – which he had orchestrated with the instruments resting on the floor. He always had been something of a mad genius, both magically and musically, according to what James had read in his father’s library.

Finally the troupe of important people began their steady march toward the adjoining ballroom. James wouldn’t be supplying the entertainment there. Thankfully he wouldn’t have to be present for the stuffy affair, having negotiated this little playing exhibition with his father in exchange for the opportunity to make an early exit. James needed to see Katie. He hadn’t heard from her in nearly ten days. Perhaps barring her from coming when Peter and Remus came to help send Sirius off had been a mistake?

After quickly changing into more comfortable attire for the trek to the Wallenby cottage, James stepped out into the night. The moon was nearly half-full now, perched in the still-blue, but darkening sky. Perhaps by the end of his walk he would be able to see the stars. The lack of clouds gave him some sense of encouragement. He had never been much on Divination, considering the entire field primarily a crock given the rarity with which a genuine Seer who could tell the future beyond the mundane goings on of the week to come was born. Still, perhaps it was something innately human to be comforted by clear skies when one was worried about something. Pausing as he approached the boundary of the family property. He cast his eyes around carefully to make sure no one was watching. Satisfied that he wouldn’t be seen, he grabbed a handful of the green grass at his feet and holding it in a bundle he flourished his wand, uttering the incantation every boy with any ambition of impressing a girl knew by heart.

In an instant the healthy blades of grass in his hand grew into stems, extending further upward until finally they gave way to a white flower with a yellow center. James nodded in satisfaction. Daisies. Katie’s favorite. If he _had_ done something wrong, he’d at least have a head start on setting it right.

* * *

Roughly an hour later, James could just make out Katie’s house through the deepening darkness. The sight of it puzzled him though. It had to be nearly nine. Surely there should be some lights. Merlin. Had she gone on a last minute vacation without telling him? _Had_ she told him? She did mention something about a ticket sweepstakes that Q.C. di Genoa were running to encourage foreigners to travel and watch their preseason tour. He paused and tried harder to remember. No. He was sure she hadn’t said anything. And there wasn’t a _chance_ she was already asleep.

As he drew closer, James felt an ill-feeling sweep over him. Katie should be here. Breaking into a jog, he closed the remaining distance quickly.

He knocked on the door loudly.

“Katie?” he called.

Knocking again, James waited.

“Katie?” he tried again, his voice wavering slightly.

Frowning at the lack of response, James tested the door. It was unlocked. In these times? It wasn’t right. Katie’s father may not work in an integral role, but James had read the memo the Ministry had sent to the families of all its employees.

_With the escalation of violence by dark wizards across Britain, we wish to remind all Ministry employees that many undesirable incidents can be avoided by practicing basic safety measures such as locking doors both manually and magically…_

The young wizard carefully eased the door open, calling out a third time to see if anyone was home. He stopped before stepping in. The _last_ thing he needed was to overreact and be caught wandering about the place. He was no witch, but he was fairly certain neither his girlfriend nor her family would be encouraged to come home and find him inside uninvited. Mr. Wallenby…Merlin…that would be the end for sure. Still, he could spare a glance from the threshold just to make sure everything was in order. Lock the door for them. That wouldn’t be out of line.

“ _Lumos_ ,” he said loudly, eager to illuminate as much of the ground floor as possible without drawing excessive attention.

As the light from the end of his wand reached out and penetrated the darkness the sight caused James’s heart to fall from his chest. It was as if he had stepped into a nightmare. The chair he’d sat in when he met Katie’s father for the first time was overturned, its upholstery torn jaggedly as if it had been struck by cutting charm. Past the broken kitchen table, he could see cabinets flung open and dishes shattered everywhere.

James immediately entered. He had been foolish. He should have cast a simple detection charm. What if the ransackers were still here? He muttered the incantation. They weren’t here. _No one_ was here.

He sprung into the house. He needed something. Hope. An explanation. Anything would do. Moving quickly from room to room revealed nothing but more spell damage and destruction. How had this happened? Why? The Wallenbys had never done anything to anyone. And though he’d never say it aloud, they weren’t exactly influential or important – at least not politically speaking.

James bolted up the staircase, grateful that he didn’t need the now-shattered bannister. The first room he saw was a small bathroom. At the end of the short upstairs hallway he had to make a choice. Right or left. Moving left first, he stepped over a photo of Katie and her parents lying in a shattered frame, its glass and wood broken as if it had been purposefully stomped rather than merely fallen. Katie’s parents’ room was just like the rest of the house – completely turned upside down.

With a heaviness in his core, James trudged slowly down to the other end. Though he knew on a basic level what he would find, it didn’t make the discovery any easier. He had never seen her room firsthand. Only imagined it based on what he knew of her. But this – this would never have been his picture. Quidditch posters lay in tatters. Her small desk had been turned out completely, papers scattered everywhere. Even her closet hadn’t been left untouched. Clear mementos from her time at Hogwarts had been cruelly crushed and her clothes thrown everywhere.

James noticed the sundress she had worn in the first days of summer amidst the heap. She had looked absolutely stunning in it. He remembered the day on the hill perfectly. She had smiled and laughed. They’d talked forever. She had been beautiful even in her embarrassed moments of insecurity. But he had reassured her. Everything had ended rightly, a spectacular afternoon where the thoughts of their future were as bright as the sun.

Now, it had come to this. Where was she? Was she alive? Was she hurt? Why hadn’t she reached out to him? Surely that meant something. She couldn’t reach him? It wasn’t safe?

James fumed. He didn’t even need to ask who was responsible anymore. Death Eaters. They had grown over the last few years. At first it had been a disturbing niche movement coming out of secret seclusion. A bunch of vandals trying to send a prejudiced message. But somehow, they were never stopped. They escalated to killings. First it was always Muggles. It was always known amongst the magical community that they were to blame, but they could never be found. Never be proven guilty. Not for lack of trying, but their schemes, like their leader, were careful in their cruelty. They never showed mercy, the bodies in their wake the only reliable evidence of their presence that was left behind. The killing of muggle-borns had come later. And now, anyone who spoke out against them.

The young wizard knelt down by Katie’s desk, holding back tears as he scanned the room. What _wasn’t_ here? What _hadn’t_ he seen? Bodies. He thanked the heavens silently for that. Blood. Yes. That was good. He hadn’t looked through the place with a fine-toothed comb, but he hadn’t noticed wands either. Or trunks. Or the family owl. Had they really escaped?

No. That wasn’t the right word. With the things they took, they must have left in advance. They must have had some warning. James looked desperately for a message. Some indication of what had happened and where they’d gone. Had it been lost? Destroyed? He nearly ransacked the room again looking before he found it. A tiny scrap of parchment stuck underneath. Using his wand to counter the sticking charm, he unfolded it and began to read.

_James,_

_They killed my Aunt and Uncle for refusing to sell to them. Mum and Dad are making me leave. They say Stroud’s not safe for us. I want to say where, but…well, if they ever found out… I don’t know if you’ll ever find this. If I’ll ever see you again. If I do, if you’ll ever forgive me. Dad’s yelling we’ve got to go now. There’s time set for the portkey. Merlin, James…I love you. Maybe when it’s safe again…I don’t know. I’m sorry. Just…know that I love you with all my heart._

_Katie_

James stared at the scrap of parchment, reading it again and again. She was really gone. As he read through for the fifth time, he squinched his eyes shut willing it way, but it was impossible to stop. Before he could move the parchment away, a tear dropped silently from his face, slamming into the black ink that caused him the most pain.

 _Katie_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For all you clamoring for the end of James/Katie, it’s here. By way of preemption, I’ve thought of a million different ways to do this throughout the story to this point, but I decided in the end I needed it to be sudden. I needed it to be that way because I needed it to hurt for James. Badly. Because his pain is going to cause reflection and his pain is going to make him shift again. Last year he changed, but everything was comfortable. It was easy. True growth often comes through suffering and that’s what he’ll find out now after living a mostly charmed life. We’ll also see Lily grow a lot and you’ll finally see them come together as I drill in really heavily on the seventh year and the build-up to James/Lily later in the story. I like to think this thing is just about half over, but who knows because I am now able to be very focused on the part of the story those of you who’ve kept the faith have been waiting for, James and Lily not just growing independently, but growing together and becoming one.
> 
> That said, it was very hard writing something so sudden and capturing Katie’s expression in the letter she left as well as James’s reactions to the scene and the letter itself.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	36. An Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'A true Head Girl must willingly share the burdens of the position with another - a partner in leading the school.'

James slung the manual across the room, glaring into the top of his desk. He shouldn’t have wasted the galleons on the test. He was sure he’d missed it now. The correct instruction would’ve been to have the chaser engage in tactical blagging. It would’ve better accommodated for the fact that the hypothetical team he was managing were narrowly leading, rather than behind. It was too simple. He pounded a fist onto the dark wood before sitting down muttering to himself darkly.

His fuming was interrupted by a soft rapping on the door.

“James…darling…are you awake?” his mother asked gently.

James sighed. “Yeah, mum. What is it?”

“Are you decent?”

“Yes mum…” the young wizard groaned.

The door swung open letting light from the hallway into the dim room. James watched as his mother scanned the room, silently tutting to herself. Between the clothes strewn about the room, his unmade bed, and the fact he hadn’t dealt with the stubble on his face in the past three days it was hard to blame her. Despite it all, the silver-haired witch strode carefully over to the end of his bed, smoothing her dress as she sat before placing a frail hand tenderly on James’s shoulder.

“I need you to take a moment to clean yourself up today, James.”

“What’s the point? I’ve got nearly a month left of summer. It’s not as if we’re going anywhere.”

“That’s true…but I’m afraid I have to insist. You’re needed downstairs.”

“Another bloody function?”

“James Potter! I know you’re upset, but you mind your tongue with me. Your father and I never raised you to be unnecessarily coarse.”

He frowned, lowering his eyes briefly. “Really though mum…what’s the occasion?”

“You have a visitor.”

“If it’s Sirius again, I told you to tell him to sod off. I can’t deal with him at the moment.”

“It’s not any of your friends. Now wash up. It won’t do for you to keep him waiting,” she said with finality as she stood and left the room, pulling the door behind her.

Walking into his bathroom, James regarded his razor carefully. Normally, he preferred the instrument. Of course, before he was of age, he’d been forced to rely on it, but one of his earliest experiments after his seventeenth birthday was to see if the rumors were true. Witches always complained that they were forced to use the Muggle-made blades on their legs because the Depilatory Charm didn’t get close enough, but it wasn’t until he’d tried it on his face that he realized the complaints had merit. Today, James felt lazy. Fishing his wand out of his pocket he pointed it toward his starting point on his left cheek.

“ _Aufero capillus_ ,” he said clearly, feeling the familiar tingling sensation as the short hairs fell away onto the cold tile floor. Tinka would sweep them up. He knew his mum would use this visitor as an opportunity to have the elf sneak into his room and clean things.

Finishing the job, James looked at himself in the mirror. He looked paler than usual and his eyes stayed rather dull. It was impossible to ignore the discolored skin beneath them either, but he couldn’t trouble himself to care. The same went for his hair. It was a bit messier than normal, if that were possible, but then it didn’t really matter. If the visitor couldn’t be bothered to give any notice he was coming ‘round…well, James couldn’t be bothered to give the man his best effort either. Tucking in his shirt and fastening his belt, he headed downstairs.

When he reached the bottom, Tinka led him toward the sitting room at the rear of the house. It was a peculiar choice of venue for a random guest. Perhaps his parents had tricked him and some official _had_ come to call on them. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d been forced to complete the family portrait under false pretenses.

Instead of accompanying him inside however, the small elf bowed before leaving him at the door. Curious. Pulling the handle down and opening it, he entered to find the very distinct figure of Albus Dumbledore staring out the broad back window and into the gardens.

“Ahh…Mister Potter,” he began without moving. “I am _truly_ glad you were able to join me.” The old wizard turned around slowly, his eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles as he extended an arm, bidding James to join him.

“Professor Dumbledore!” James started. “What are you doing here?”

The headmaster chuckled. “It may come as a surprise to you, but on occasion I do pay certain students individual visits if the situation merits it.”

James stared out toward the horizon. “Why me?”

“It is your last year at Hogwarts, naturally. I was surprised to hear from Professor McGonagall that you haven’t attended any supplementary career sessions.”

“I’m not interested in some job with the Ministry. I have my own plans.”

“Yes, of course, of course. How did the examination go then? Will Hogwarts have its first Ministry-credentialed Quidditch Captain?”

“I won’t find out until after term begins. October.”

“Right. I had forgotten. You know…I knew a young man once, a housemate of mine at school, Albert Teakwood, who everyone agreed would make a phenomenal manager. He was a natural leader. A bit of a rogue, but still took his studies seriously. We both followed Puddlemere United zealously…” Dumbledore trailed off, nodding gently to himself. “I think I would have liked to see him lift the title for them one day,” he finished, staring off toward the horizon once more.

James shot his headmaster a perplexed look. “What happened to him?”

Dumbledore inhaled deeply. “Oh. Albert? He was muggle-born. Unfortunately, he found himself on the wrong end of one of Gellert Grindelwald’s patrols while shadowing Jozef Wczycwicz in Poland.”

“They killed him?”

“Yes, quite cruelly I might add,” the old wizard said sadly. “I warned him against the trip, but he was headstrong. You know, I wonder sometimes how many prodigies have been lost to the ignorance of the fundamental truth about war?

James frowned. “What’s that, sir?”

“That it has no regard for individual dreams, but an insatiable appetite for sacrifice.”

Looking out into the gardens, James saw several ravens fighting over the highest perch in his mother’s wild cherry tree. It had long since lost its blossoms, but the birds still appeared to yearn for the prominent vantage point it gave. James remembered climbing it in his youth. It was too frail for him to reach the top, but he could imagine that from the point the black beasts were bickering over one could see nearly the entire estate. Turning to look at Professor Dumbledore, James noticed an uncharacteristic gravity lurking in the older man’s eyes. Up close it was possible to see that his wrinkled face was not as uplifting as his default disposition. At the moment, the whole thing seemed to sag, as if under an immense weight.

“Professor…I take it you didn’t come here to check on my quidditch exam…”

Tightening his lips and nodding briefly, the gray-haired wizard produced an envelope from his robes. “Quite right,” he said, handing it over to James swiftly. “I came to give you this.”

“My school letter?”

“I think you’ll find something more than a letter in that envelope.”

Opening it carefully, James noticed it carried more weight than usual. Ignoring the parchment inside for a moment, he shook it lightly into his hand. Immediately he was taken aback by the glint of gold in his hand. The object was slightly largely than his Captain’s badge. His brow furrowed. He couldn’t be serious.

“Professor?”

“Yes?”

“I…this is the…this is the Head Boy’s badge. I don’t understand.”

“What about that badge coming into your possession is confusing?”

“I’m…well, sir, I’m–”

“One of the most prolific rulebreakers in the long and storied history of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?”

“Exactly.”

“And yet, I cannot think of a single male student more fit to wear it.”

“Sir, respectfully…I haven’t earned this,” James said firmly.

“But here it is, resting in your hand, given freely by the only person at Hogwarts presently empowered to deliver it.”

“How am I meant to be Head Boy? Nobody will respect me telling them to follow the code of conduct!” he protested.

Dumbledore smiled, placing a hand on James’s shoulder. “I do believe you’ll find that there is far more involved in earning respect than simply following the rules. Just as there is far more involved in being Head Boy than simply enforcing them. Especially now.”

“But the Head Girl–”

“Lily Evans,” Dumbledore supplied.

“Evans?! She’ll hex me just for _wearing_ this. She’s liable to think it’s my idea of a joke.”

“A mistake I am confident you have the wit and temerity to correct that quite quickly.”

“She’s never been much on my wit, sir.”

“Perhaps the issue is less with your wit and more your delivery?” the older wizard offered.

James looked toward the bookshelves on the wall behind his headmaster.

Dumbledore nodded sagely, a thin smile playing across his lips. “Regardless, I think you will find yourself perfectly capable of working well, and as you may find necessary, quite closely with Miss Evans.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence, sir, but I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.”

“Important things so rarely are, Mister Potter.”

James sunk into an armchair. “What’s so important about me being Head Boy alongside Evans?”

“Hogwarts needs both unity and protection this year. Of course I, as Headmaster, and your Professors are capable of providing these things in some measure, but as you are no doubt aware there is a darkness growing in our world. I am afraid before too long, it may breach the walls of Hogwarts. Indeed, there are those who fear that it already has.”

The young wizard’s face immediately darkened. “What do I need to do?”

“Unlike the light, darkness often begins in unseen corners – places where people who would thwart it cannot easily tread. But if they have others…good people who can be unshakably trusted…they may be able to keep the darkness from advancing further, especially when they are not acting alone.”

“And you trust me and Evans?”

“There are no two students in which I have greater faith,” Dumbledore said simply before pausing.

As James waited, the bearded wizard extracted a gold pocket watch from his robes. “Ah, yes. A quarter past three. Alas, Mister Potter, our time is running short. I still need to pay your counterpart a visit before the sun sets.”

“Professor!” James protested as Dumbledore turned away.

Suddenly, with a wink of his eye and a nearly noiseless poof, the old wizard was gone, leaving James alone with his new badge, his letter, and his thoughts. As he looked outside into the gardens his mind turned immediately toward working with Evans. Staring at the glimmering gold badge in his palm, he ran the other hand through his hair. He knew Dumbledore was a great wizard, but James was far from sure that cooperation, let alone shared leadership between he and Lily was something even Merlin could achieve.

In her bedroom in Cokeworth, the Lily was laying cozily atop her bed, thumbing through an issue of Witch Weekly that Alana had recommended. Though Lily had balked at first, she was pleasantly surprised by the quality of this particular iteration. Rather than focusing on vapid topics like fashion and modern wizarding celebrities, the features this time were on well-respected witches throughout the ages and the causes they were remembered for.

Suddenly her perusing was interrupted by a measured knock at the door. Who could _that_ be? Her father was at work. Mum was out shopping for the ingredients for tonight’s meal. Though she had been supposed to come for a family dinner, she had bailed again by phone just after breakfast, claiming to have been surprised with a weekend getaway by her utterly infuriating boyfriend, Vernon Dursley.

She seriously considered not answering, but another equally exact knock piqued her interest further. It wasn’t overbearingly enthusiastic like Alana’s. It wasn’t carefully timid like Severus’s had been, not that she expected him. No…this knock was more…elegant. And thoroughly professional. Grabbing her wand from her bedside table, she padded down the carpeted stairs of the family home. One could never be too cautious.

Just as the knock began again – rap-rap-rap – Lily opened the door.

“Professor Dumbledore?” she asked, astonished by the presence of the last savior of the wizarding world standing on her doorstep.

It had been some time since she had met with him one-on-one. Not since the Christmas holiday in the middle of first year, when he’d dropped by to praise her to their parents and assure the Evanses that their daughter was well and fully adjusted.

“Hello, Miss Evans. I am not interrupting a family occasion am I?”

“Of course not, sir. I just wasn’t expecting you. Would you like to come in?”

“No, no. I actually quite prefer the outside air this time of year.”

Stepping out to join him on the stoop, Lily shut the door behind her.

“What brings you back, Professor?” she asked simply, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“I found myself out today delivering all manner of news. An encouraging word at St. Mungo’s. A speech to aspiring Aurors about to start training at the Ministry. I was about to drop all my letters in the owl post, but I realized that it might be best to deliver some of my messages in person.”

“I see.”

Smiling down at Lily, the wizened wizard reached into his robes and produced a standard envelope with the Hogwarts seal. Giving her a knowing stare, he passed the heavier-than-normal letter to her slowly, pressing it into her hand.

Lily immediately noticed the added weight. It reminded her of the summer after fourth year when she’d –

The young witch allowed herself a curious half-smile. “Sir…is this…”

Dumbledore raised a hand as if to shrug. “Why not open it and find out.”

Forgetting to be proper for a moment, Lily stuck a finger into a small opening at the top and tore it open, swiftly pocketing the letter as she gazed into the envelope’s depths. It was there she saw it. Shiny and gold and glinting beautifully back at her, no part emblazoned more prominently in her mind than the tastefully molded “HG” in the center. Her mouth dropped as her eyes lit with exultation. She had waited all summer for this.

Plucking it out proudly, she straightened herself. “Thank you, sir!” she exclaimed, unable to contain her happiness. “I promise you won’t be disappointed.”

“I have no doubt of that. After all, were I not already absolutely certain of that fact, I would hardly have given the honor to you.”

Lily blushed. “Of course. I didn’t mean to–”

Dumbledore chuckled lightly. “I know, Miss Evans. I do not believe any among the staff of Hogwarts, myself included, would ever accuse you of being impertinent.”

Lily smiled sheepishly. He was kind, but she must have looked foolish to him, celebrating like a rowdy quidditch player over being named Head Girl.

“I am afraid however, that my visit was not solely to share this with you. In your new position, and in this world we live in,” he indicated, gesturing around vaguely with his off hand. “there will be many difficult choices and responsibilities for you to deal with.”

The redhead did her best to puff her chest up. “I’m fully prepared, sir. Whatever you need, I’ll do my absolute best to deliver.”

“Naturally,” Dumbledore demurred. “You would hardly be the witch you are, were that not the case. But I think you will find that what I will ask of you this year may be more than one person alone can bear. That is why when one is named Head Girl, she can never forget that despite her responsibility to be a shining example to our students, she is not alone. A true Head Girl must willingly share the burdens of the position with another – a partner in leading the school.”

“The Head Boy,” Lily offered.

“Precisely. As usual, Miss Evans, you have no difficulty understanding my meaning.”

Lily cocked her head to the side, slightly puzzled. “Well, whoever you’ve chosen, sir, I’m sure they’re the right person for the job. I know I can be a bit…strong…at times, but I’m sure we’ll work well together. I know all the prefects and I think that honestly…even if you’ve chosen Bryll Hemsworth–”

Dumbledore stroked his beard lightly before chuckling once more.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m running on aren’t I?” the young witch asked, blushing again.

“I admire your enthusiasm,” he said simply. “It is one of the great gifts of youth – boundless energy matched with the unbridled capacity for hope”

“Will you tell me who it is?” Lily asked suddenly.

“Unlike you, he was far from unanimous,” Dumbledore began, “but alas, one of the great gifts of being Headmaster is that I get to make the difficult decisions, even the unpopular ones.”

“Sir?”

“I’ve chosen James Potter to be the next Head Boy.”

Lily’s euphoria instantly melted away. “James Potter?” she asked, incredulous. “But…he’s not even been a prefect. We have to set schedules…we have to enforce rules…”

“Something I have the utmost confidence you can assist Mister Potter with as he grows into his role.”

“Grows into it?” she spat. “But sir…” Lily ventured, walking back the disgust that had threatened to erupt, “Shouldn’t the Head Boy be an example as well…the finished article?”

Her headmaster’s expression soured. “Is that what you truly believe _yourself_ to be?”

The young witch froze.

“Miss Evans, I believe that you will find one of the most important lessons in life is that we are _never_ finished growing.”

“Of course, sir…I shouldn’t have questioned–”

“Ahh, but that is the beauty of the world I need you and Mister Potter to help me preserve. That today – now – even where I am Headmaster and you are still a student, you always have the right to question.”

Lily stared toward the road pensively, watching as the MacKenzie twins across the road ran through the water from a small sprinkler, laughing wildly.

“Sir?” she asked. “How am I supposed to work so closely with a person I can’t stand?”

“That you will have to answer for yourself, Miss Evans. But if I could offer one piece of advice, it might be this – sometimes those we dislike are simply the same people we have never bothered to really get to know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There you have it. Summer is at an end. There will be one more chapter to segue us back to Hogwarts, but it will involve the Express and other typical beginning of the year events, though I can assure you that those of you waiting for an increase in James/Lily interaction are soon to get it. Things will still proceed on that front quite patiently for now, but naturally their new roles and shared responsibility will prevent James from ever quite escaping Lily’s attention and likewise stop Lily from being completely capable of avoiding James as she’s done in the past.
> 
> For me, the challenge of this chapter was undeniably Dumbledore – both capturing the character and dialogue and making his conversations with James and Lily feel believable. I hope I did that, and I’d love to get your feedback on it. I recognize it was also very dialogue-heavy too. Did you think it was too much?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	37. Perfectly (Un)prepared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Before she could stop him to offer a thank-you, the black-haired boy was out the door, doubtless striding off to find his friends ahead of their final journey to the castle together.'

Lily checked her watch as she headed for the Prefects’ Car. Thirty minutes. That would be enough time wouldn’t it? There was so much to consider. Of course, she wanted to make a good first impression – friendly and prepared, but not overeager. There were the names of the new fifth-year prefects to memorize so she looked as if she already knew _everyone_ and not just those she’d worked with in the past. Potter was bound to be clueless and she needed to minimize the time they spent together. In the aftermath of Professor Dumbledore’s visit, she’d accepted the fact that there would be no way to avoid him completely, but at least with careful preparation, which Potter would doubtless accept without analysis if it reduced his own workload, it could all be kept to a minimum.

As she approached, she could hear muttering coming from inside the car. Probably an excited fifth year. She listened closer. The voice was definitely male. Dear God, she thought as she opened the door. Just don’t let it be Bryll Hemsworth. The smarmy Slytherin’s presence would be more than she could tolerate given what was surely to come. Instead, as the door slid open, she found herself confronted with a head of disheveled black hair. Lily inhaled deeply. This was fine. _Perfectly_ fine. It would be good practice for how things might go throughout the year and she could react accordingly.

Potter seemed not to notice her entrance, eyes fixed downward on a piece of parchment covered in scribbles and smeared ink. Predictably, he’d taken a spot in the center of the carriage, planting himself on the long bench-style seat directly across from the short table that had been added to the middle of the aisle. He always had to be the center of everything.

She paused, looking him over for a moment. Though his hair was at its ordinary level of messiness, his robes were far from their standard disordered appearance. On the contrary, they appeared to have been carefully maintained since being purchased and he hadn’t done anything to make his Head Boy pin stand out, positioning it unceremoniously to the left of his captain’s badge.

Finally he seemed to sense her presence, looking up wide-eyed, as if he’d been caught someplace he wasn’t supposed to be. “Oi, Evans,” he offered tamely.

“Potter,” she nodded, settling onto the same bench as her rival, while taking care to maintain a safe distance between them. “Didn’t expect you so early.”

“Yeah…well,” he shrugged, seeming to gesture toward the messy parchment in his lap.

“What’s that?”

“Notes,” he chirped, suddenly seeming slightly more at ease. “From my Dad. And Remus. They’re old hands at this I guess so I figured…”

Lily regarded him skeptically. James had sought _advice_ on being Head Boy?

“I mean, I’m sure you know all this stuff already,” he rambled on, “I just…you know, this year – this job – it’s important right, so I want to be ready. I don’t want to weigh us down.”

“You don’t want to weigh me down you mean?” she corrected.

“Well, course not, but I more meant everybody I guess…you know the whole team.”

Lily couldn’t suppress a chuckle. The Heads and Prefects as a team. Well, she’d never heard that before. Typically the system was much more autocratic. And divided. Slytherin prefects on board with Gryffindors. That sounded like quite the pipe dream. The Ravenclaws were trouble enough when it came to planning, always complaining about needing to balance their academic demands.

“I’m sure you won’t,” she said calmly, feeling relief wash over her as she managed to keep herself from sounding patronizing.

“So do you want to talk rounds then? I thought we could be proactive and start thinking of good pairs.”

Lily cocked her head to the side. She hadn’t expected Potter to actually show interest in the behind the scenes work involved in their positions. Truth be told, she’d rather expected to be dumped on.

“Well…I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. We don’t have anyone’s schedules yet. It would be a lot of effort to plan on something and then have Double Divination or something equally ridiculous turn it into a tangled mess.”

Potter shrugged. “I think we’d save time. It’s like quidditch. You go into every match with a plan, but if circumstances change, you just have to adjust accordingly,” he pressed.

Lily frowned slightly. How could she brush this off without him taking offense? Silently, she cursed Dumbledore. Things were easier with Potter when there wasn’t any pressure to find a resolution. But the prefects would arrive for the meeting soon and they hadn’t even talked about handling their speeches yet.

“Can we talk about it later?” she offered diplomatically. “It would give us each more time to prepare our positions.”

“Sure. I suppose it’s all on us the first week or so anyway, right?”

Lily nodded, sparing a glance out the window at the passing countryside. She wondered what it would be like to live in a more remote place like this. Cokeworth was home, but at the same time, it had always felt somewhat oppressive to her. The empty factory loomed in the distance and if you got too close, there was the smell. Here she imagined things were simpler. Clearer.

“How did you do it anyway?” she asked idly.

“What?”

“This,” she said, gesturing between them.

Potter looked down. “Don’t know. Last thing I expected. _You_ make sense. Top of the class. Not a single detention.”

Lily squirmed slightly. It was like the bizarre end to last year, Potter complimenting her. She sniffed and looked into the empty carriage. “Anyway, how was summer?”

Her housemate’s expression immediately darkened, the dark-haired wizard scratching the back of his head before casting his eyes out the window. From Lily’s vantage point he seemed to look off into clouds above the horizon.

“Was life on the estate really _that_ bad?” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

After a few moments of silence, he locked eyes with her, staring into Lily with a troubled, even mournful intensity she’d never seen before. “Look, Evans. I don’t mean to be rude…but summer’s a sore subject.”

Lily frowned and broke eye contact.

When she looked up again, Potter had shoved the parchment and quill off his lap and onto the bench next to him. His forehead faced squarely downward, resting on the top of two closed fists.

Eventually footsteps and voices approached the door and Lily stood to greet them, a smile on her face. To her surprise, when she looked to her immediate right, she found that Potter had joined her, cracking his neck before straightening up. He wore his trademark half-smile as if nothing had happened.

When the prefects filed in, Lily busied herself with all the normal pleasantries, basking in the warmth of the congratulations heaped on her. Only Briony Burke and her fellow Slytherins were less than cordial, but then she supposed that was to be expected. The blonde witch had been quite open about her expectation of making Head Girl and indeed, Lily had spent a few restless nights worrying about it since Briony was one of the few Slytherins not heavily linked to the Dark Arts and the troubling movement afoot outside the castle.

Once everyone had taken their seats, Lily retreated to standing near the empty bench-seat where Potter had been seated before. Looking out over the group, she could tell now that it was actually an ideal position for an opening address. She could see everyone while not being overly aligned with any one group of people. Had Potter…no she reassured herself. It had been happenstance.

“Hello everyone,” she said brightly. “I’m sure you’re all as glad as me to be back for another year at Hogwarts!”

Silence. Dull expressions.

“Anyway…as Head Girl this year I just wanted to talk to everyone about how things are going to work. For those of you who’ve been here before, obviously some of it’s going to be old news…”

Lily ignored the sniggering by Briony and her vipers-in-training.

“…but it’s all important, especially when it comes to the refreshers on rules and points in particular.”

Now she could notice a scrap of parchment being passed between the Hufflepuffs. Only Remus and a few of the new Prefects were looking on at all encouragingly.

Suddenly, Lily felt a touch of the back of her shoulder. No. Please no.

“Oi, you lot!” James barked loudly, at least momentarily drawing all the wayward eyes in the room to where he and Lily were standing. “I don’t know if you’re upset you might miss the trolley or maybe your owl caught mange over the summer and you’ve got to pass notes about it,” he started, staring pointedly at sixth-year Hufflepuff Nicollette DuPre, who blushed deeply at being caught in possession, “but Evans is trying to share some relatively crucial information for this year.”

“Yeah, well… _we’ve_ heard it all before,” snapped Bryll Hemsworth, Slytherin’s other seventh year prefect, “though I suppose it probably is crucial to you, seeing as you’re standing up here clueless…”

Potter snorted. “You know, Hemsworth, that’s an excellent lesson for our new prefects. Despite the obvious disrespect, I can’t take any points away for it yet. Bit of a shame really. But you know what I’ve worked out is a wonderful recourse? I’ve got a wand, Hogwarts has a pensieve, and I’m sure there are _plenty_ of Professors who’d be only too happy to take those points for me later. Remember that whether you’re on rounds or off,” he crowed. “Just because you’re in this room doesn’t mean you don’t have to play by the rules,” he finished pointedly, causing the Slytherin to scowl and fall silent.

Lily noticed the room was suddenly paying rapt attention again.

“Right then. Evans…I do believe you were about to start breaking everything down for us?”

For the remainder of the meeting, Lily took point, delivering her spiel exactly as she’d planned to. To her surprise, Potter never once interrupted it further, even offering a polite clap that sparked applause from the group when she’d finished. Alas, before she could stop him to offer a thank-you, the black-haired boy was out the door, doubtless striding off to find his friends ahead of their final journey to the castle together.

After disembarking, Lily made her way slowly to the carriages. The redhead considered the operation of the old-fashioned system of transport to be one of the enduring mysteries of Hogwarts. To her great irritation Professor Flitwick refused to explain how they could transport students across the magical boundary to the school without the charm that surely powered them being dispelled by the protective enchantments that guarded the grounds. When she’d last considered it, Lily hypothesized that perhaps the path had been augmented with an area of effect trigger that would reinstitute the charm, but alas her research had dispelled that. The boundary wards would have too great a thickness for there not to be a perceptible decrease in speed and motion.

She climbed into one of the last remaining carriages with Alana and Marlene nearly without being conscious of it. Before she knew it, they were rolling toward the castle, her friends chatting on gaily as Lily’s mind wandered. This was the last of these trips the girls would share. Soon they would reach the castle and it would be the last time she experienced the Sorting Ceremony. Obviously she had known and expected it all summer, but she couldn’t help but be struck by the thought that everything was ending around her.

Lily desperately hoped the rumors were true. If Petunia had been any indication, connections forged at this age were tenuous at best in the Muggle world. Looking at the smiling faces of her two most constant companions, she didn’t want to imagine their friendship disintegrating slowly into a pattern of bland, obligatory owls that eventually faded away with a lonely unanswered letter, forgotten amid the inevitable surge of work and family responsibilities. Still, Marlene was adamant that friends at Hogwarts were friends for life.

_“I love your braid!” the small brunette gushed as she touched the ribboned end of her blonde roommate’s hair. “How did you do it already? It was down at the sorting!”_

_The blonde waggled a wand that seemed almost too large for her little hand._

_“My mum taught me the movements before we left. Didn’t you see me practicing on the train?”_

_“So_ that’s _what you were doing.”_

_“Yeah. Mum says my hair gets scraggly if I leave it down.”_

_As the girls kept chatting, Lily quietly unpacked her trunk. Her roommate already knew a spell. The other kids must too. Even here, with other people who were…like her…she felt out of place. The sorting had severed her from the only friend she knew too. From what she understood, she was supposed to be placed with people she shared traits in common with. Then why did that old hat put her in the same place as those two stupid boys on the platform. She huffed at the memory, roughly laying her stack of uniform blouses on the bed._

_“Hey! You’re Lily, right?” a voice rang out._

_Lily turned around, holding a pile of skirts in her hands. It was the brunette._

_“Yes,” she said quietly._

_“I’m Alana! Alana Hooper!” the girl said brightly, thrusting out a hand._

_Lily set the skirts on her bed and shook it graciously_

_Across the room, the blonde flicked her wand at the empty wardrobe, sending the contents of her trunk rushing inside. Pocketing it, she strode toward them._

_“Marlene McKinnon.”_

_Lily shook her offered hand as well._

_“So,” started Alana, “do_ you _know any spells?”_

_“No. I mean, I’ve done things. The Headmaster said they were magic, but it wasn’t…like that,” she finished, gesturing toward Marlene’s packed wardrobe._

_“Uncontrolled magic. Yeah,” Alana said hurriedly. “I accidentally made the last slice of pie disappear last month after dinner when Daddy told me I couldn’t have it.” She blushed furiously at the admission before offering a nervous giggle. “That was before I had my wand.”_

_Glancing at Marlene, Lily saw the other girl had a curious expression on her face._

_“Is something wrong?”_

_“No. It’s just you’re the first I’ve actually met.”_

_“The first_ what?” _Alana asked uneloquently._

_Marlene shook her head, as if the brunette was the dullest girl she’d ever met. “She’s a muggle-born.”_

_Lily looked at her feet. That was a term the Headmaster had specifically mentioned. Something else that made her different. He said special, but of course she knew what he_ really _meant. It was like some of her aunts and uncles had been over the years._

_“Really?!” Alana enthused. “That’s brilliant. I have a muggle-born older cousin. Tabitha. She knows the coolest things. Like she can hold her hair together with sticks!”_

_Lily couldn’t help but laugh loudly._

_“What?”_

_“Nothing,” Lily said. “It’s just…there’s cars…and airplanes…and God knows everything else and you like hair sticks?”_

_“Sure!” Alana defended. “They look a lot neater than your hair just hanging there with a potion or something.”_

_Marlene rolled her eyes. “You’ll have to show her the trick later, Lily. Want me to show you the bit with the wardrobe?”_

_“Of course!” Lily said excitedly._

_By the time the girls finally turned in they had unpacked and repacked their wardrobes over a dozen times. Lily drifted off to sleep dreaming of what lessons would bring, her red hair secured in an immaculate braid with a length of gold ribbon tied perfectly on the end._

The newly-minted Head Girl returned to the present as the carriage rolled over a large rock, jostling the trio.

“Okay, Lily?” Marlene asked, taking a time out from her conversation with Alana to check on their pensive friend.

Lily nodded, smiling back brightly. The end is the beginning is the end.

When the Gryffindors finally massed in the Great Hall to await the arrival of the new students for sorting, a heavy murmuring quickly broke out around the table. Lily initially paid it little heed, as everyone tended to catch up to an even greater degree once they’d actually reached the castle than they did on the way.

Scanning the table she found Maggie Brinkley engaged in animated conversation with Anders and Lionel and the new Gryffindor prefects, Annaliese Heinrich and Mark O’Donnell showing off their badges proudly to their friends, while taking the obvious subsequent ribbing in stride. Down further, unusually removed from the masses was Potter and his gang. Normally it was commonplace to see them in the center of the action, seated across from each other in pairs. This time, oddly, Potter was sandwiched between the three of them, only visible because he was leaned forward wearing an abnormally flat expression.

“Lily!” Alana hissed loudly.

The red-headed witch startled immediately and glared at her friend. “Merlin, Alana! What?”

“I just talked to Marie and Renee. Katie’s not here.”

“What do you mean she’s not here?”

“Nobody knows the details! First they thought she was with Potter on the train I guess, but apparently not and nobody knows where she is. Nobody’s heard from her since the end of July!”

Lily stood up immediately as the conversation started growing louder among her housemates, most faces ranging from surprise or shock to heavy concern. She started walking briskly toward the end of the table.

“Where are you going?” Marlene said, temporarily breaking off conversation with Craig Chamberlain to snag Lily’s robe as she passed by.

“To get answers about all this.”

“Lily…” the blonde witch warned. But it was too late, a hard tug by the redhead had freed her robes from Marlene’s grip and she was advancing implacably toward a certain raven-haired wizard once again.

As she reached the group, Black slapped Potter on the back, laughing loudly along with Remus and Pettigrew. For his part, Potter appeared to give a half-hearted chuckle at whatever awful joke had been made before resuming his portrayal of a glum statue, his mouth covered once more as it rested on his fist.

“Well,” Black chirped mockingly, “if it isn’t the _Head Girl_. To what do we owe the honor of your presence?”

“Business,” Lily said sharply.

“Right. Sorry to say I’m unavailable at the moment, so–”

“I couldn’t care less about _you_ ,” she said dismissively. “Potter,” she called, angling her head to get a better look at him, “I need a word.”

Before the James could answer, Remus put a hand on his shoulder, immediately stepping between Lily and the rest of the group.

“Lily, this really isn’t a good time,” he said gravely.

“Yes, and now wasn’t really the ideal time to find out one of our housemates is missing for me either, but I need to sort it out with him. Put people at ease. It’s our responsibility–”

“To deal with _real_ problems. Not the Hogwarts rumor mill. They’ll find out soon enough. Everyone always does. See how it’s spreading?” he asked, gesturing to the other tables which were now in a similarly disquieted state of animation.

“Remus…”

“ _I’ll_ explain it to you. After the feast.”

“All I’m asking him for is–”

Remus stepped back to reveal Potter hunched further forward, his head nearly on the table as Pettigrew and Black awkwardly forced themselves into similar positions to shield him from view.

“Think about what you _are_ asking him.”

Lily paused. The change was stark. Clearly she’d been right. He knew something. It must have been the source of his refusal to talk about summer on the train. But what? She needed to know or she and the prefects would be useless as resources to concerned students, especially their housemates, who were likely to be most affected.

“I just need a moment. He was fine on the train!”

“In the Prefects’ Carriage…” Remus intoned. “But then that’s James.”

“Just ask–”

“No, Lily,” he said firmly. “You can talk to me about it. _After_ the feast.”

Lily stood her ground briefly, her hands on her hips as she frowned at Remus and his tightly-crossed arms. The male Gryffindor moved his head slightly, making the insistence in his stare sharper. With a sigh she relented, turning on her heel and walking back to her spot at the table. The faces she saw were all drowned in concern now. The conversations she heard centered on one topic. And Marie Thomas was crying as Renee Haverford hugged her tightly. It was _not_ an auspicious start to the year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I decided to write this return chapter in Lily’s POV for a few reasons. First, she’s the one who’s going to need some work over the next several chapters. Second, I don’t want to drill too much into James’s turmoil right yet, which writing it from his POV would have demanded. At the same time, I wanted to cover some significant things. The start of James and Lily working together as Heads. Some reflection on the fact that this is their last year at Hogwarts and a little exploration of Lily and her friends. And finally the revelation of Katie’s absence to the student body and the contrast between Head Boy James and private James at the moment. Naturally, that contrast isn’t permanent and the tone of this chapter isn’t going to be a fixture of seventh year, but I felt it was necessary for a number of reasons and hopefully you’ll continue to bear with me as everything gets fleshed out.  
> In terms of what’s next, I’m expecting (though not necessarily promising) some shorter chapters in the immediate future to deal with some other matters and characters and also to start a necessary progression with both James and Lily’s characters. While Lily grows I’ll certainly be laying some of the more subtle foundation for what you’ve all read all this way waiting for and then after that segment is complete is when I think you’ll safely be able to expect things to take a more direct turn as regards James/Lily.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	38. First Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did you steal them? You could be expelled! And you're Head Boy!"

James checked his pocket watch. 8:52 PM. He’d spent nearly the last hour dodging Sirius and Peter’s attempts at small-talk as he stared out the window of their dormitory waiting for curfew. Eventually the pair had begun playing Wizard’s Chess, with Peter drawing black. The glances he stole out of his periphery suggested there had been precious little playing going on. James had twice caught Sirius staring at him from over his pieces. As if he didn’t know his friends. Peter was far too talkative for Sirius to have been truly engaged in the contest. Remus had vanished almost immediately upon their return to Gryffindor Tower, claiming he’d promised someone a conversation. Probably Britt Lawson, James thought ruefully. Why his friend kept barking up that tree was a mystery. As far as James was concerned, Lawson was pretentious and uninteresting and her lack of outward emotion was rivalled only by her nearly comprehensive ineptitude at spellwork. Why Remus had taken an interest in the bumbler was beyond him. Likely it was another manifestation of his friend’s self-hatred. Merlin knew if things took a turn toward anything serious…well, James would have to set him unequivocally straight. He deserved better. At least he’d come back with the stuff he’d asked for. It was in the bloody nick of time.

Just as he was about to flip the golden timepiece open once again, Lily emerged from the common room. Though he’d mentally prepared himself for a professorial-style lecture, actually enduring it would be another matter. She’d shown already that she didn’t intend to take his ideas or outlook to heart, though he supposed that shouldn’t have surprised him. In a way he couldn’t blame her. It should be Remus here, not him, Dumbledore’s opinion on it be damned. It was probably prejudice that had deprived Remus of the role anyway. Disgusting. Slowly he pushed off the wall and sauntered over to where Evans was waiting. He sighed. Three hours of fun.

Unremarkably, their coverage of the seventh floor passed in almost total silence. The obligatory pleasantries having been exchanged, James largely contented himself to follow slightly behind, counting his steps as they went. 228. 229. 230. 231. 23– Suddenly her footfalls stopped. James jerked his eyes upward.

“You know this is bound to be awfully boring if we don’t even talk,” she said evenly.

James rolled his eyes. “Yeah…and I’ve noticed you making a _real_ effort.”

She put a hand to her forehead before beginning to walk once again.

That was better. They were headed for the stairs now. Perhaps he could propose splitting up. There was hardly going to be a raft of students eager to break curfew tonight of all nights. 252. 253. 254. They passed an empty portrait of some non-descript English countryside. James cursed himself for even entertaining the thought. After everything that had happened. The deaths. Katie. The attack on the first years.

His mind jerked back. Katie. He closed his eyes hardening his mind against it. Pinching his lids shut tightly he tried to direct his thoughts elsewhere, finally settling for the sensation his hard squinting caused on the bridge of his nose where his glasses rested. His back felt hot.

“Potter?”

Evans. He opened his eyes. She was halfway down the bloody staircase. Back to zero.

“What are you doing?” she asked, if he wasn’t mistaken, with a hint of concern entering her voice.

“Nothing. Thinking.”

He hurried to catch up. This was the last thing he needed. If there was one person who knew how to pry it was Evans. She’d already wanted something at dinner. Who knew what. He’d thanked the stars that Remus had interceded given his mood. Keeping up appearances on the train had been enough, but with the cacophony around him, knowing what they were all surely discussing it was different. It would hardly have been a good image for first years seeing the Head Boy and Head Girl fight on their first night at Hogwarts. And he would’ve disappointed Dumbledore. Even if the man was mental for handing him the badge – their conversation, his expectations, his belief – it all made James want to repay the faith he’d been shown. He owed the Headmaster that much. And if he could stay out of his own head long enough he might just be able to do it.

Her footfalls had stopped again.

“Alright,” she started sharply before covering her mouth with her hands as if in prayer. She bit her lip slightly, twisting a foot on the floor awkwardly as she avoided eye contact for a moment. Suddenly she straightened and brightened her features significantly. “I can’t do this. Let’s talk about something.”

“How about whatever _that_ just was,” James offered.

He had seen that bright look that overtook her face too many times to count. It was almost always a reference point when people spoke about how kind and helpful she was. But what had come before it…well, he’d never seen that be part of her display.

“What are you talking about?”

“That…whatever it was. Where you suddenly got all…pleasant. You wanted to say something else. And then you didn’t.”

“Maybe we should talk about the rounds schedule,” she quickly volunteered.

James eyed her suspiciously. That _definitely_ wasn’t it. Still, he was in no mood to fight. And even if she wasn’t being honest, they needed to make this work and having a row after curfew wouldn’t help that. At least if they argued about the schedule it would be related to the job. A professional as opposed to personal disagreement would almost be progress.

James sighed before he started walking again, catching up to her once more. “Fine.” Maybe this could be a good thing – a distraction at least.

“Well…you said you had ideas about good pairs?”

“Yeah…tentatively anyway. You might know them better,” he conceded, “but I think it’s worth a shot.”

She offered only silence, which James took as the only sign of encouragement he was bound to get.

“Well, when Dumbledore told me he was making me Head Boy he said it was because Hogwarts needed unity _and_ protection. And I know we’ve always done patrols in houses because it’s easier and all with everyone’s schedules, but with a little extra effort maybe we could come up with patrols that crossed lines. I figure if we start building bridges with the prefects, maybe it’ll rub off.”

He saw her hesitate, tilting her head slightly to one side. “It’s an…interesting idea. I just don’t know…there are all the politics…and then the schedules…”

“I have the schedules covered,” James said, shoving a fistful of parchment toward her as she paused in visible shock before the staircase they would take down to the fifth floor.

“You what?! But…we weren’t collecting them until tomorrow. And you never–”

He shrugged. “I have my ways. Anyway, most of them line up with what I was hoping for. There are issues with the sixth years…new N.E.W.T. lessons and all.”

“Potter, where did you get these?” she insisted.

James groaned. Why she had to be so dramatic about good news was beyond him. Strictly speaking it _had_ required rule-breaking, but it was all in service of the school.

“Did you steal them? You could be expelled! And you’re _Head Boy_! You can’t do things like–”

He shook his head and snorted. “Like you were saying, Evans, _I_ never left the Tower. Obviously, _I_ didn’t do anything. At least not personally…”

“Unbelievable!”

“Can we just talk about the actual subject at hand? I’m not going to tell you how I got them. And it doesn’t matter. They’d be public knowledge in…” James paused to look at his watch “…eight hours anyway.”

James chuckled inwardly as Evans marched on, muttering to herself. He couldn’t understand a word she was saying, but he could see the lingering tinge of red to her cheeks from her last outburst. Peering around slightly, he could see that she was also chewing feverishly on her lower lip.

“Anyway…for the seventh years I figured Maggie and David Weatherby from Hufflepuff are a good match. David and Claire can hardly patrol together anyway since they broke up. Remus can reign in Hemsworth. Bloke’s been scared of him since they dueled in Defense fifth-year. Claire’s a good fit with Jacqueline Smythe from Ravenclaw…she’ll let her have her way of doing things and won’t rock the boat. And then we neutralize Bamford and Burke by putting them together. I’m sure they can commiserate for hours over how we robbed them of their rightful places.”

He watched carefully as Evans scrutinized the schedules.

“That all matches up,” she said, surprised. “And I don’t see any conflicts…at least not yet. I don’t know that I’m comfortable completely abandoning the old system. And we hardly know the fifth years…unless you do,” Lily finished, turning her head to look at him.

“Then they run into the same problems we’re having next year.”

“Well…” Lily ventured. “Maybe that’s a sign that we ought to keep things the same. It’s safer and simpler that way.”

James frowned. “ _Safer?_ In this climate? I’m not keen on leaving Slytherins to their own devices for hours at a time. There’s no telling what they’d get up to. Plotting...” he said darkly.

Lily stopped, placing her hands on her hips. “We can’t have the best of both worlds. We have to do something workable.”

“I know that well enough,” he huffed.

“What if we compromise?” Lily offered, breaking the silence. “We do what you suggested with our year and the sixth years. The N.E.W.T. issue will mean getting creative anyway. And for the fifth years, we can keep it by house. That way we’re not throwing them into the fire with no support.”

James scratched his head before grabbing a fistful of hair.

“I think that’s reasonable…” Lily pressed.

“Yeah, okay.”

The two resumed walking, Lily poring over the sixth year schedules while James started scrawling out the seventh and fifth year pairings on a piece of parchment.

“How’d you come up with that for our year anyway?” Lily broke in suddenly.

James shrugged. “It’s just knowing people. Being Quidditch Captain since fifth year was hardly a picnic, but I learned a thing or two about handling personalities along the way.”

“I thought you loved being Captain. You were always so vocal about it…”

“I do. But it’s not all fun and games. It’s easier for the professional managers. Player-managers are dying out so they can just do what they want with the team – they don’t have to play with them. We have to walk a fine line.”

“Hmm. I’d never really thought of that.”

“Yeah. Nobody does. That’s why Gryffindor has the best chemistry on the pitch.”

“You take it more seriously than I expected. The behind the scenes I mean.”

James scowled. “I want to _be_ a manager. If I can’t play that is. Just got my B Badge.”

“You got a professional management badge?”

James shrugged again. “I mean, it’s mostly rules and tactics for that. It’s not that advanced.”

“Do a lot of Captains do it then?”

“No,” he laughed, his messy hair bouncing. “I’m the first actually.”

“Well you shouldn’t make light of it then,” Lily scolded.

“I’m not,” James sighed. “It’s just. I don’t know. I’m thinking about other things now.”

An uncomfortable silence descended between them as Lily turned her gaze abruptly to the portraits lining the empty corridor.

“You know this seventh year schedule…” she started, “it leaves us–”

“On duty together?”

“Yes. And you think that’s a good idea?”

“I haven’t driven you mad yet have I?”

“It’s only the first day. And I wouldn’t say it’s gone without incident…”

James allowed himself a smirk. “Well, last I checked I was only ‘unbelievable’ today. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that _is_ a distinct improvement on insufferable, isn’t it?”

Lily allowed herself a faint laugh. “You’re still a prat,” she warned.

“The more things change…”

She shook her head, the corner of her mouth tugging upward for a moment. “I suppose it would let us cut down on planning time…which would in turn streamline prefects’ meetings…” She nodded. “Alright…let’s start on the sixth years then. With a bit of luck we can wrap it up tonight.”

As Lily lay in her four-poster trying to sleep, she stared at the ceiling. After a long night of rounds she should’ve been able to nod right off. That’s how things had always been with Remus. But it was unavoidable. She’d dodged it tonight, even if it had almost slipped. Their only mutual friend’s words echoed in her head. She couldn’t let on that she knew.

But honestly, how was she supposed to avoid it? An entire week of rounds, uninterrupted and she was supposed to just ignore the elephant in the…corridor? It was against her nature. Even if it was Potter, the revelations Remus had shared tugged at her core. Left behind with a tiny scrap of parchment as the only measure of closure – and from what she’d been told it didn’t offer much of that.

She rolled over, flipping her pillow in search of cool. She could always charm it, but then she hated that habit. There was something special about finding it naturally. Somehow it seemed more real. Marlene and Alana teased her to no end about her little preferences, but when it came to certain things, Lily felt that magic cheapened the experience.

Still, she could do with an artificial sleep aid at the moment. Why did her first day back have to be so vexing? Potter on the Express. Potter and Katie. Potter on patrol. She chuckled at the last one. If he hadn’t managed to make Head Boy it would’ve made an amusing punchline.

Lily sat up in bed, rubbing her forehead. Transfiguration first thing in the morning was going to be a nightmare at this rate. And though her exam score had been fine she wasn’t relishing the necessary conversation with Professor McGonagall. They hadn’t met to discuss her progress toward the Academy since she’d ignored Potter’s advice on the last essay before end of term. She’d never questioned the propriety or attainability of her dream before that moment. It had been so easy to imagine herself among advanced students, striving to push the boundaries of the fundamental fields in new directions. She’d relished the joy in Professor Slughorn’s eyes after he received the gift she was sure would be a serious focus of her new studies. Triggering was a grossly underused property of spellwork in her opinion and the possibilities were endless. At the Academy no one would force her to confine her work to a particular potential application either.

She lay back down, yawning. Tomorrow morning could be a good thing after all. She could prove to Professor McGonagall that she had what it took. So what if the Academy hadn’t received a favorable recommendation from her Head of House in a decade. Lily would earn one. Thankfully it would be a place where constant diligence would prevail over raw talent. She fell asleep smiling. At the Academy, she’d be right at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not a particularly lengthy addition, I realize, but I don’t want to get too expansive with James and Lily yet. I’m very interested in what you thought of their first round together. It was supposed to feel different. Did it? How did James’s characterization play? Obviously he’s still hurting, but I felt if pressed he would converse on another topic. I also wrestled with whether to even include the switch to Lily’s POV at the end. Did you think it fit? Did you get the point?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	39. The Black Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sure. Just a slip. Been known to happen."

As the afternoon sun sank deeper in the sky, Lily lay belly down on a blanket between Marlene and Alana. The edges of her deep red hair were pulled back out of her face, held together by the tiniest of clamps at the back of her head. She bit her lower lip harshly as she waggled a heavily-used quill in her right hand. Beneath her, resting atop her shiny new Defense text was her school application. Her brow furrowed as she heard giggling behind her.

Just fifteen inches in to the full roll of parchment prominently stamped “Phase One Applicant” her hand was beginning to tire. The first week of classes had always been something of a nightmare, at least since fifth year, but this time was even worse. Though it almost always consisted solely of note-taking, between Professor McGonagall’s intensive lecture on Evolutionary Transfiguration and the rule-heavy, theory-driven approach announced by their newly-appointed Defense Professor, Thomas Stone, the faculty seemed intent on wearing out both hands and quills. She’d expected a break from Slughorn in Potions, but instead had been forced to spend the period writing a list of the most versatile ingredients for brewing and their multitudinous uses. Lily supposed it would come in handy eventually. Perhaps not Defense – but then change was _de rigueur_ when it came to that subject.

“There!” Alana chirped defiantly. “I told you I could do it!”

Marlene handed over ten sickles. “The absorption has reached new heights already…”

Lily pushed herself up to a seated position. “Hmm?”

“Do you like your new braid?” asked Alana with a grin.

“What? My new... _you two_!” Lily howled, jumping up as her stern expression gave way to an amused smile. “I was just trying to get ahead on the application. The Academy’s Phase One deadline is before the end of term!”

“But we’re _supposed_ to be relaxing,” said Marlene. That means no schoolwork and _definitely_ no early job hunting. I’ve got my own applications, but you don’t see me dragging loads of parchment to the lake.”

Lily plopped herself back down on the blanket.

“Do you think there’s going to _be_ jobs for us?” Alana asked suddenly.

“What do you–“

“Really, though,” the blonde continued. “I mean…I talked to Taryn Whitley on the platform before you two came and her dad thinks things are going to get worse.”

Marlene shook her head. “ _Relaxing_ , I said.”

Lily looked out across the lake. “It’s hard to.”

The sun blazed orange above the horizon and she listened to the distinctive call of the Scottish crossbill ringing out in the distance. Lily smiled slightly as a group of Gryffindor first years tore past them shouting excitedly and laughing. No doubt they were high off their first flying lesson and ready to imagine themselves soaring around the quidditch pitch rather than just watching. She shook her head. Those were the days. It had never been her dream, but she missed being that carefree.

“Remember when we were like that?” she asked softly, failing to disguise the hint of yearning in her voice.

“Too well,” Alana chuckled. “My sister was still here. Only in her fifth year. We used to chase her around to figure out if older students were playing tricks on us…”

“We’re lucky _she_ didn’t as payback,” Marlene muttered. “Too nice back then, your sister.”

“We were probably insufferable.”

Lily looked back out over the water, hiding her face. After the giggling died down she felt Marlene’s hand on her leg. Immediately the redhead jerked her face around.

“Sorry, Lily,” Alana offered. “Have you heard anything from your sister?”

Lily shook her head.

“Piece of work that one. Didn’t you send her a birthday present back in June?”

Lily nodded. She had caught word through their mother than Petunia had been after a new sewing machine since some of her old clothes from home finally needed mending and Lily had saved all the spending money she’d intended to convert for the last Hogsmeade trip of the year to buy it. She’d gotten her sister the new model in sparkling white to match the interior of the couple’s flat, had it wrapped nicely in floral paper with a shiny yellow bow. All she’d gotten in return was a cheap card inside which her sister had plainly scrawled “Thank you.” With a period at the end. A _period_. And her carefully practiced signature. Not that she’d expected anything. Catherine Evans had schooled her daughter well – gifts are _solely_ for giving. Still, she’d hoped the occasion would at least spark a letter.

“And?” Marlene prompted.

Lily shrugged. “She at least said thanks this time. Anyway, we were talking about Alana’s.”

“Alex _andra_?” the brunette asked theatrically, raising her nose and emphasizing her already posh accent.

Marlene chuckled. “Queen of the castle is she?”

“You should’ve seen her last letter. I think I might…” Alana trailed off, rummaging through her pockets.

“You kept it in your robes?”

Alana frowned before raising her empty hands. “Apparently just on the way back from the owlery.”

Lily stared off across the lake. She could see Potter ambling around uncharacteristically alone. Thinking back she remembered seeing Remus and the other members of the usual quartet scheming in a corner of the common room. They’d been rather conspicuous about it and with Potter here now, it seemed most likely they were making a deliberate attempt to insulate him from direct association with whatever harebrained idea they were cooking up. Of course, she’d noticed that James seemed to be on his own more than usual after the first couple days of the new term. He hadn’t seemed terribly receptive to their hovering so perhaps his friends were giving him wide berth in the aftermath of Katie’s disappearance.

“Lily!” Marlene shouted. “Are you coming or not?”

“Hmm?”

“We’re going to get the letter. Should be a fun read.”

“Oh. No. I really ought to pen one home to mum and dad and I’d rather do it out than in.”

“A letter home or work on that application?” Alana teased.

Lily handed over the roll of parchment. “Take that back to my desk then if you don’t believe me.”

Marlene snatched it swiftly. “Calling your bluff!” she hooted as she scampered off toward the castle.

“Bye, Lily!” Alana said apologetically as she touched her friend on the shoulder. “See you later?”

“Course,” the red-head said with a smile. “I’ll be up after I send it with Frederick.”

Some time later, Lily finished her own signature with a final flourish of her quill before pushing herself up off the blanket. Immediately she noticed the stiffness in her back. She’d been on her stomach writing for much too long. Standing up and arching her body to the right she felt much better.

In the end, the letter had taken longer than expected and she knew even before she headed for the owlery her allotted hour was on the verge of expiring. It was almost sunset now and most of the students that had been enjoying the sun earlier in the day were long since gone. Her vibrant green eyes tracked the sheen of sunlight on the lake toward its outer edge. It was hard to imagine leaving this all so soon. Hogwarts was beautiful. The world on the other hand, could be an ugly place.

Sighing, she turned around to see James trudging slowly toward the castle from the other side of the lake. She frowned slightly. It must have been the latter thought she’d had earlier. For someone who had enjoyed more than his share of short-term relationships at school he seemed to be taking the situation with their former classmate quite badly. As he moved, he sluggishly tossed the snitch he was known for keeping with him into the air, catching it repeatedly at the last possible moment. On this day however, his walk was completely devoid of its usual confident swagger and his face was shorn of more than just the smirk she despised. Except when he tracked the flight of the small golden ball, his eyes stayed focused on the ground in front of him.

As he neared her, he tossed the ball again, this time grasping at it too soon and fumbling it almost to the ground before he recovered with his other hand.

“Alright, Potter?” she asked, concerned.

His head snatched up.

“Sure. Just a slip. Been known to happen.”

Lily tilted her head slightly, looking hard at him. “Not that I’ve seen since you started tossing that thing around the halls.”

“Been watching me every second?” he asked sharply.

“No.”

Potter looked up, eyes closed, and shoved the snitch back in his pocket. “Sorry, Evans. That was a bit…short of me.”

Her expression softened. “No troupe today then?”

Lily detected a barely perceptible snort as he nodded.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Just needed some time to myself.”

“All afternoon?”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind. What are you doing out here alone anyway? I thought you came with McKinnon and Hooper.”

“Been watching me every second?” she tried lightly.

The corner of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. “Touche.”

Lily offered a gentle smile. “Well, I’m meant to meet up with them again before dinner. I was just writing my parents,” she started, lifting the folded parchment in one hand. “Shall I join you? We can talk about tomorrow’s meeting.”

“Yeah. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”

With that, Lily began walking up the hill toward him.

“Forgetting something, Evans?”

“The blanket!” she exclaimed. “I can’t believe I–“

As she turned around, she saw it fold up promptly and zoom toward her chest. Reacting quickly, she caught the checkered mass in both arms.

“Got it?” Potter asked behind her.

“Yes,” she answered evenly, “though just folding it would’ve done fine. Not all of us play quidditch.”

He looked away from her half-glare. Was that another tug at the corner of his lips?

“Yes, well… _that’s_ hardly as tough to catch quickly as a quaffle is it?”

Lily placed the letter in her pocket and produced her wand, shrinking the blanket with a flick and a muttered incantation.

“We were going in, weren’t we?” she asked, placing the now-tiny square in the other side of her robes with a satisfied look.

“We were.”

For most of the journey, the two walked wordlessly with Lily watching surreptitiously and James keeping any of his thoughts to himself. It was an uncomfortable silence for the Head Girl. She had no problem holding her tongue while studying or in a large group if there was nothing to really say, but one-on-one she preferred communication.

“You’ve been on your own more than usual since we got back…” she ventured.

“So I have.”

They trudged on, each step bringing a grating crackle of dry earth beneath their shoes.

“Well…it seems to me if you’re upset you’d want to be around people. At least your friends.”

Potter stopped. “Does it?”

“I would think so. I’m sure they’d want to help.”

He laughed, but this one had a distinctly sardonic tone that brought Lily no satisfaction. “Help. That’s interesting,” he finished as he resumed walking toward the castle.

“They certainly seemed to be doing their best at the feast. And Remus–“

“Remus tries. Sirius and Peter? Well, they’re both clueless, even if it is for entirely different reasons.”

“So you’re just going to carry on like this when you’re not in public?” Lily asked, following briskly up the hill after him.

“I’m going to do what I need to,” he said sharply. “Hell…I don’t even know why I’m talking to _you_ about this.”

Lily inhaled, suppressing her frustration. She was sure if it were Katie in this situation they could simply put everything out there. She could help her have a good cry about it and start to get it out of her system. It wouldn’t matter that Lily wasn’t the usual source of support. She sighed. Wizards were _clearly_ just built _differently_.

“Probably because you need to talk to _someone_.”

Potter started walking faster, his slightly longer legs carrying him away as Lily strained to keep up.

“I know it’s not me you’d imagine talking to, but it isn’t going to help you shutting it all in,” she insisted.

“Well thank you for that penetrating insight, Evans.”

“I’m not pretending it’s special,” she shot back. “But you don’t have to ignore the advice just because it’s mine. It might actually be helpful.”

He shook his head. “Now _that_ is an interesting perspective.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’ll leave you to think about that, Evans. You can start with pages 693 and 694.”

Lily’s face scrunched up in puzzlement. What in the name of –

She froze. Last year. Then he _knew_. But _when_?

Before she could formulate a response, Potter was too far gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you’ve enjoyed this latest installment. I wanted to focus in the beginning much more on Lily and her friends. One of the issues I’ve identified (with the help of a reviewer – thank you!) is that there’s not really been enough depth to James or Lily’s non-romantic relationships. The Marauders have gotten a bit more attention, but their interactions have been largely around prank-planning or quidditch other than some isolated one-on-one conversations with James. Lily’s friend group has largely (and rather feebly) been focused on appearance or relationships (a negative gender stereotype that I don’t really want to perpetuate). So I tried to inject family and career a bit here with them and give you a feel for how the dynamic works between the three of them at the same time. There will be more on them as the story goes on because as I mentioned in a review response or A/N, the story is really going to hone in now on specific characters more than ever (though some new ones will obviously be introduced).
> 
> I also hope you enjoyed the James/Lily interaction. For reference, since I know another weakness I’ve had is making the precise timeline of where are at certain points crystal clear, we’re only about 5-6 weeks out from Katie’s disappearance (which I peg at the end of July 1977). While he’s been a bit lighter before, James is still in that period where he’s up-and-down day-to-day about the situation before he starts making any real judgments on it. James/Lily is still a little ways off in the distance, but hopefully despite James’s state of mind you’re starting to see some of the very first seeds being planted in terms of their individual development starting to merge toward the path that will eventually lead to their union.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	40. Too Early

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'd bloody punched him!

Sirius woke the following morning to the earliest rays of sunlight struggling into their dormitory in Gryffindor Tower. He sat up swiftly before cracking his neck to each side. Last night had been long, but thankfully much better. Coaxing James out for their second prank of the year had been easier than expected and he supposed it was the fact that unsuspecting Slytherins were the target that did the trick. Unbeknownst to their beloved Head Boy, Peter and Remus had spent the first week of class sneaking buckets from broom closets and nicking ingredients from Filch’s office, Sprout’s greenhouses, and Slughorn’s stores in the name of brewing the perfect concoction for their purposes. The resulting muck was certain to cause no damaging ill-effects, unless of course you regarded a truly malodorous stench and incredibly difficult to remove stains as damaging. The Marauders generally did not.

The long-locked wizard sighed contentedly as he stared out toward the horizon. Yes, indeed. Any moment now the first of those slimy gits would be leaving their dungeon dwellings. Sirius’s clever combination of counting and detection charms would ensure nothing happened unless there was a group of them leaving at once, but when they did…the boy chuckled. James and Remus’s triggers would be set off and the buckets suspended near the ceiling would flip, pouring their contents all over the bewildered bunch of blood purists. It had taken _hours_ to test, but he was certain it would be worth it. Naturally they all desperately hoped Snivellus would be among the victims, but anyone would do.

Godric Gryffindor willing, success would stir James’s spirits. The thought sent Sirius scanning the room around him. Peter could still be heard snoring in the ragged, almost wheezing way that was typical of him in the bed across from his and Remus, for his part, was drooling onto his sheet, his head partially covered by his pillow. James was…gone apparently. His trunk appeared undisturbed, but – aha! - his wardrobe had been left cracked.

Scratching at his healthy stubble, Sirius slipped off the bed and plodded over, looking around carefully before using one finger to ease the gap slightly wider. It was impossible to suppress a chuckle. James, despite being completely unable to keep his hair tidy even when he wanted to, maintained a very orderly wardrobe. On the far left hung his dress robes, for what purpose Sirius had no idea, followed by his school attire, then casual wear and finally, the true jewel of his collection, his quidditch uniform. What was missing?

“He went flying,” Remus offered wearily, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

“ _Flying_?” Sirius asked incredulously. “Before breakfast?”

Remus nodded. “I told him to wait. Especially without sleep. Said he needed some ‘fresh air’ to think.”

“I thought the heavy thinking was your business, Moony…”

“Normally, Padfoot. Though I think that may have changed.”

Sirius frowned. “I don’t like it.”

Nearby Peter muttered something unintelligible.

“What’s that?” Remus asked with a smirk.

“I said _shut up_!” the smaller boy groaned.

“No can do, Pete,” Sirius chuckled. “Prongs has gone flying, the barmy blighter, and it’s up to us to get him down safely.”

From the bed a hand flew up, waving the idea of movement away before flopping loudly and unceremoniously back to the mattress.

Pulling up a pair of jeans, Sirius cast a look back in Remus’s direction.

“I’ll commit this job to your entirely unsound discretion,” the other wizard said. “My head’s killing me after last night. And _that_ was _your_ idea for a cure.”

Sirius snorted as he shrugged on a shirt. How in the bloody hell was he supposed to deal with James and his emotions without their group counselor present?

When he arrived at the pitch, James was a speck in the sky – a mass of black against a soft blue canvas. Striding forward, Sirius waved both arms in hopes of getting his attention, but the mass seemed to only rise higher, diminishing into a dot that danced back and forth, up and down practicing dives, feints, and rolls against invisible opponents. For a moment, he considered raiding the stock of practice brooms again, but a beater like him was never destined to fly alongside one of the most promising chasers the school had seen in over two decades. Sirius was skilled, but whether it was a straight race or a test of aerial evasiveness he’d be overmatched.

“Get down here mate!” Sirius bellowed, his voice augmented by the use of the Sonorus Charm.

The dot dove sharply and stopped.

“Come on! Don’t make me fly up there…”

Squinting, Sirius raised a hand to shield his eyes from the steadily rising sun. James was still.

And then he wasn’t. Slowly, the dot came into focus as his best mate descended, landing inside the center circle gently and dismounting. James let his broom fall to the ground.

“Fly up there? As if you could catch me…” he scoffed, a half-smile forced onto his face briefly before he took a seat on the freshly mown grass.

Sirius shook his head. There was a bit of sarcasm at least, even if his heart wasn’t in it. He walked over to join his friend on the ground, throwing an arm around James’s shoulder. Filch had done a decent job for his first cut. Why the man insisted on handling the pitch when any number of the staff could perfect it with a simple swish and flick was beyond Sirius, but it was one of the few things the cranky caretaker couldn’t be faulted for trying.

“Coming back for breakfast?” he asked simply.

“Yeah. Eventually.”

“Eventually…lunch then?”

“Shut up.”

“That’s what it was yesterday.”

“ _Shut up_.”

“I’d rather you,” Sirius barked, fixing James with a hard stare.

The other wizard stared off into the distance.

“Thanks.”

James shrugged.

“When do you think you’ll be done?”

“Done?”

“With all this,” Sirius started, a disapproving look souring his face as he waved his hand in James’s direction. Silence. “Hell mate. It’s been over a month.” Sirius pressed hard on his friend’s back to stop his abrupt attempt to stand. James opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly interrupted. “Yeah. Sod off and all that. I got it. You know, we’ve tried.”

“Have you?”

“Yeah. We have. I know _I’ve_ done just about bloody everything except this. Came ‘round in August and you wouldn’t see me. Gave you your time to find some peace. Kept the gossip from you. Then shared it with you when that didn’t work. Who do you think rallied Remus and Pete to take your mind off things? What else is there? You don’t want to _talk_ about her…”

“You’re right,” he snapped. “I don’t. But here we are.”

“Yeah. Here we are.”

“What do you _want_ , Padfoot?”

“I _want_ you to see this for what it is. Another break-up.”

“It’s not the same.”

“It’s _exactly_ the same. It’s another break-up. That’s _all_ it is. Merlin, James! You weren’t even together a year!”

In a flash James had shoved him away and stood. Sirius matched him, grey eyes meeting hazel. Conviction firmly set against blazing fury.

“ _She_ was different. I _cared_ about her.”

“Yeah. And you’ll care about someone else.”

Silence.

“Look. You don’t want to hear this, but it needs to be said,” Sirius looked away briefly before squaring to face James, “get over it. This castle’s filled with witches who’d be happy to–“

Fury.

Pain?

The sensation sent Sirius reeling and in the next moment he felt James shove him to the ground and grab him by his collar. He’d bloody _punched_ him! He spared a glance back as he felt what he was certain was the beginning of a swollen jaw.

Now just anger.

James shoved him down roughly, letting his head strike the hard ground.

“Piss off.”

“No.”

“I said piss off…” James warned.

Sirius spat red and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

“And I said _no_. Get your broom and come to breakfast. Moony and Wormtail are probably waiting.”

As Sirius watched, James’s breathing seemed to return to normal. He closed his eyes before leaning slightly and shoving stray grass clippings off the knees of his trousers. Minutes passed as the two friends eyed one another. James ran a hand through his hair before pinching his mouth tightly between his thumb and the rest of his fingers.

“You’re a git.”

“Yeah. I am.”

James grabbed his broom.

“You’re a git. And I should punch you again. More than once.”

“You think so?” Sirius asked, stretching his arms out from his body, open palms half-upward, half-facing his friend in a show of surrender. “If you think I deserve it.”

The other wizard shoved him hard in the chest before stalking off toward the castle.

Sirius moved quickly to match him step-for-step.

“This doesn’t change it. I can’t just switch it off and pretend you know.”

“I never said pretend. I said move on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I will open by answering a question that has come up from many readers since my last update – “What the heck was the reference to pages 693-694 that ended the conversation between James and Lily last chapter?” That is a reference back to a conversation they had in Chapter 23 where James tried to help Lily with her Transfiguration essay in exchange for her Charms tutelage on those pages. James references the page numbers in that context because: (1) I want to show that James found out how poorly Lily did after not taking his advice, (2) given that, James wants to throw Lily’s hypocrisy in her face, and (3) I want to show that Lily remembers her promise to help James (one she hasn’t followed through on). Probably could’ve been handled better ultimately, but I wanted to be a tad oblique and I wanted to take this opportunity to answer that question.
> 
> As far as things go now though, this chapter will mark the end of the moping if not quite the end of James’s thoughts on his relationship with Katie. It will also mark the beginning of renewed growth by James and the beginning – in earnest – of more full-bodied James/Lily development. Because I will probably end up editing this story at some point down the road though, I am interested in how you received this chapter. Was Sirius in character in your view? What about James? How did you feel about their dynamic on this subject? Would you have preferred the realization to stay completely organic with James?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	41. Whispers in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I am disappointed that you flouted the rules as a student leader and didn't get punished. But I'm not disappointed you're still Head Boy.'

With the second week of classes began partnering in Potions, but as the time for class to start drew ever nearer, Lily found herself alone. Last year, the timing of things with Lionel had been academically fortuitous. Slughorn tended to eschew the more rudimentary material throughout the year in favor of more exciting concoctions and was accordingly forced to play catch up just before the most technically challenging potions came fast and furious at the end of the spring term. That had meant lots of lectures and plenty of opportunity for the awkwardness between the pair to fade before working together had become necessary. Now that he was dating Claire Taylor however, she hoped they could maintain a measured, academic partnership even if it meant she did most of the heavy lifting.

Of course, as luck would have it, with only minutes to spare now, Lionel was nowhere to be seen. Focusing on her textbook to calm her nerves, Lily reassured herself that he would arrive soon. After all, he was an unquestionably hard worker and girlfriend or no he _never_ missed class.

Suddenly the table shook beside her.

“Sorry…” a familiar voice whispered as Slughorn emerged to take his spot behind the rostrum. “James got summoned to Dumbledore’s office and I’m not about to try this brew alone.”

Lily pinched the bridge of her nose tightly.

“I said sorry!” he offered a little louder. “I didn’t figure you’d want to be alone either what with Baird in the hospital wing…”

“Lionel’s in the hospital wing?” Lily asked worriedly.

She swallowed. Her question had been louder than intended and now the eyes of the rest of the class felt like they were boring into her. She looked up. And now Slughorn’s could be included. Yes, things were off to an auspicious start.

As the murmurs started around the room, their portly professor waved his hands to calm his students. “Not to worry, not to worry!” he began. “I understand from Madame Pomfrey that it is all purely precautionary. Just a bit of charms practice gone wrong. Nothing to let distract you from the wonders of the wit-sharpening potion we’ll be working on today. Now if you could turn your attention to page 383…”

“Evans,” Black hissed, “can I share your book?” The boy flicked his eyes quickly toward her copy of _Advanced Potion-Making_. “Forgot mine in the…errm…locker room.”

She cast him a skeptical glare. “Why would you bring your book to the locker room?”

Sirius shrugged. “I like to get a little studying in before practice,” he said defensively.

“You didn’t buy a copy did you?”

“What?”

“We’ve only had Potions together for six full years already. I see you and Potter always sharing. _One_ of you doesn’t buy the book.” Lily realized Slughorn had stopped talking. She stood up quickly. “Can you get the cauldron going?”

Black nodded and sliding her book to the center of the desk used his wand to add the requisite amount of water before setting the black monstrosity to begin boiling. Satisfied, she headed away to gather the ingredients they would need. A wit-sharpening potion would be challenging, but not overly so. But then that was Slughorn’s habit – ease them back in. Brewing it with Black on the other hand…well, it was bound to be an experience. He and Potter had always sat in the back of that particular classroom, but she knew they were quite capable. Their marks proved that much.

Reaching the cabinet, she carefully surveyed the stock. Peppermint was a necessity of course, to be tempered with snakeroot and a preparation of…yes, frog eyes and guano. She’d have to remember to clear the air around their table before Step 7. Snagging a few more ingredients she headed back to get underway.

“Got everything?” Black asked, casually leaning against the table as tendrils of steam began to rise from the water in the cauldron.

“Yes. I remember the ingredients in my sleep.”

As Lily set them down, she noticed that Black seemed to be scrutinizing her haul.

“I’m sure I’ve gotten everything,” she said, beginning to create the paste they’d need by mashing the frog eyes with her mortar and pestle.

Black shook his head and headed for the cabinet. Lily watched as he grabbed here and there, examining vials and jars. It was difficult to make out what exactly he was searching for, but he eventually appeared to find it, sauntering back over slowly and placing it on his side of the table.

“Whatever that is you’re not putting it in my potion, Black,” she said assertively.

The dark-haired wizard smirked. “I think you meant _our_ potion,” he retorted. “And it’s absolutely going in.”

Lily eyed him warily as she cast the required twenty bay leaves into the water just as it reached a rolling boil. Interesting, before she could even signal him, Black reduced the heat as prescribed and set about extracting the oil from their batch of flax seeds. Pouring it in at the appropriate moment he immediately started measuring the proper length of snakeroot and dicing it. Hearing the tell-tale squish she’d been waiting for, Lily reached for the peppermint and added it. This was the most irritating and painstaking part of the preparatory steps from what she remembered. Hopefully her hand wouldn’t tire like last time as she was certain Black wasn’t the type to step in once she’d taken charge of creating the admixture.

“So,” Black ventured, “got any plans for after graduation?”

She turned to look at him as she continued grinding “Honestly?” she asked.

“Sure. I mean, what you’re doing there’s bloody boring to watch. And I’m a mile ahead on the snakeroot.”

Lily eyed him skeptically. “Nothing firm of course. I’m applying for a few things.”

“I’m going for DMLE,” he said proudly. “Auror program.”

She nodded. “Sounds about right. You’re great with dueling.”

“Thanks…though I haven’t forgotten that sneaky move you got me with last year. I’ll get you back if Stone ever lets us use our wands.”

“Sneaky?”

The boy snorted. “Fine. It was clever.”

Lily smiled, straightening herself up a bit more.

“Still,” he continued, “I’m not sure I’m too excited about three years of training.”

“I’m headed for at least four,” she commiserated.

“Ahh,” Sirius added, wagging his finger. “Going to the Academy then. You’d fit in.”

She groaned. And things had been going…well, actually…she had to admit. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she said dully.

“I don’t know, you just seem the type. Sometimes, I’m surprised you didn’t get Ravenclaw.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, you know, absurdly studious, regimented, rational – well, aside from around James…” Suddenly his eyes tracked to the bowl in front of Lily. “Hey, it’s getting too dry. We should add this,” he said, waggling the full vial he’d gone to fetch.

“Flobberworm mucus? That’s not even a listed ingredient. I told you we’re not adding it.”

“Come on! Give it a go,” he hissed. “James and I have puzzled it out. That’s why nobody ever gets this one perfect. The ingredients are too old, they dry out so we give them a little moisture…”

“Why not water?”

“Too neutral and too thin. We want it moist, not wet. Plus, the mucus is a little more acidic, like the potion in the end.”

Lily considered the point. It did have a degree of logic to it. It was fundamental knowledge in the subject that flobberworm mucus held no properties that should distort the efficacy of a potion. Its primary use was as a thickening agent.

“This is still graded…what if–“

Sirius cut her off. “Live a little, Evans,” he winked, swiftly pouring the mucus on her nearly completed compound.

Lily felt the heat rising in her cheeks. She’d been the one who’d slaved over the most difficult part of the work so far and Black had the nerve to just…without her agreement…and suddenly the mortar and pestle were out of her hands and he was working the compound.

“Constant,” he reminded her as she stood, eyes wide, still at war with her own agitation.

“I can’t _believe_ you just did that,” she seethed.

“Yeah, well,” he said flippantly, “I’ve made the textbook version before too. Just like you. Exceeds Expectations, right? Nobody wants that.”

“It’s better than a Troll!” she retorted, again a little too loudly.

Eyes tracked to her once more.

“My goodness! Is there a problem, Miss Evans?” Slughorn queried.

“No, Professor,” she said politely, using the cauldron as cover to seize control of the mixture back from Black.

The young wizard chuckled low. “A little trust, Evans. You know it won’t change the properties. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, it won’t harm anything.”

“You’re an arrogant prat,” she said, scraping the contents, mucus and all, into the cauldron.

“So I’ve been told,” he shot back dismissively. “Besides, you’re hardly the queen of humility.”

As he dumped in the diced snakeroot and began stirring the cauldron, Lily’s mind traveled back to the incident with Potter last year and the afternoon he’d told her off at the lake. He and Black were _arrogant_. She was…stubborn perhaps. She’d admitted as much to Remus. It was different. They hurt people with their behavior. She simply stood firm. Played to her strengths. Was that so bad?

Beside her, Black muttered the incantation to put the cauldron into stasis and started to clean up.

“You know, this is a first,” he remarked. “It’s a shame James missed this milestone today.”

At the end of the day, Lily filed in to Professor McGonagall’s office. The comparisons between office and classroom when it came to the teachers always amazed her. Last year, Professor Osorio’s classroom had been incredibly minimalist, but his office was stocked full of books and pictures and his desk was covered with mountains of parchment. McGonagall’s on the other hand was a carbon copy of the highly structured, carefully controlled environment that was familiar to students who never saw her outside of Transfiguration lessons.

Since she’d been asked to stop by at the end of class, she’d been nervous. First, Potter had been detained by Dumbledore and now McGonagall wanted a chat? While Potter’s could be put down to the prank he and his friends were widely suspected of perpetrating on the Slytherins, the timing didn’t encourage her. Lily had nearly had her finger bitten from lack of concentration in Herbology she was so preoccupied. Was she to be reprimanded for her performance as Head Girl? The discussion she and Potter had on rounds had gotten everything scheduled quicker than usual – well, quicker than the past two years anyway. She wondered if it was the dress code violations she’d been lenient on with the new students so far. McGonagall wasn’t a particularly forgiving soul – she remembered her Professor giving short shrift to her explanation for tardiness during her first year, even though Potter had knocked her books out of her hands sprinting to class as if it were a race.

Now she was here and all she could see was her Head of House frowning at her. She self-consciously tucked her stray hair behind her ear. How silly had she just looked? Clearly McGonagall was disappointed.

“Miss Evans,” the older woman said curtly, gesturing to a chair in front of the large, ornate desk. “I appreciate you joining me on such short notice, but I do believe it requires your immediate attention.”

“Of course, Professor,” Lily answered, swallowing the butterflies in her stomach.

“I must say I was pleased to hear from the Headmaster about the early release of prefect schedules. Perhaps one day you’ll be willing to share the mechanism by which you instilled a sense of urgency in Mister Potter.”

Lily looked away briefly. The praise felt good, but… “Truthfully Professor it was more of a team effort between the two of us.”

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. “I see. In any event, I did not ask you here to discuss your official duties. I actually wanted to follow up on our brief discussion from after class last week…”

Merlin. This was about her future. Lily berated herself. She’d been foolish to approach her on the first day of classes. She’d known better really but–

“…since I understand it is still your intention to apply to the Academy.”

Lily re-folded her hands carefully in her lap. “Yes, Professor. I know I still have a lot of work to do polishing my application – there’s more I want to say and I need to edit some things – but I can’t think of anything I want more.”

McGonagall pursed her lips tightly.

“And how much have your written for Phase One thus far?”

“I’ve completed three-quarters of the roll. I mean, not that I’m entirely finished with it,” she quickly corrected, “but I’ve drafted my answers for that much. I’m going to start working on my exploration proposals this week.”

The older witch nodded solemnly, reaching for a drawer on the side of her desk. Slowly she produced a thin, folded strip of parchment and raised it between them to draw Lily’s attention. Fixing her pupil with a hard stare, she handed it to the girl across the desk.

Lily opened it carefully, her eyes scanning the contents before she looked up again.

“I am giving this to you because I believe you may be the first student in your house since I assumed this role to be qualified for the path you want to pursue–“

“Thank you, Professor!”

McGonagall frowned. “Don’t thank me yet, Miss Evans. This parchment is _not_ a guarantee of my recommendation. As you’ve seen, it contains a test. How you perform on that test will determine whether I am willing to write such a recommendation on your behalf.”

Lily looked at the scrap again nervously. It seemed that such a small piece of parchment had never felt so rough or so heavy to her before. While it was undeniably exhilarating to hear that she had earned the opportunity where so many other talented students had failed, she recognized that it also carried a tremendous amount of pressure. On its own the task was an enormous amount of extra work, but beyond that the way the older witch had approached this made it clear that there would be no opportunity for revisions or second chances.

“How long do I have?”

“The deadline for my recommendation is February 1st. But I would suggest you have it completed before the end of term.”

McGonagall stood and looked past her toward the door and Lily understood it was time for her to go.

“Thank you. Again,” the younger witch said emphatically, though in retrospect feeling rather foolish about her one word addendum to the expression of gratitude.

Nodding once more, the older woman offered a sympathetic half-smile this time. “You’re welcome, Miss Evans. And good luck.”

Sharing the news with Marlene and Alana at dinner had been encouraging. Though they tended to find her desire for more schooling as incomprehensible as Black had, both had been happy for her, sharing hugs and assurances that she was up to the task. Lily had wanted to get started right away, but alas with rounds beckoning again and a short essay due the following day in Defense, she would have to wait. After tidying up her desk and sorting herself out briefly in front of the mirror she made her way downstairs to the common room.

Though she was ten minutes early, she was surprised to see Potter already waiting, his nose stuck in some small book in the corner of the room.

“Hi, Lily!” one of the other Gryffindor girls said as she walked by.

“Oh, hello Maggie!” Lily answered, smiling. With the prospect of what loomed ahead it was hard to match her housemate’s enthusiasm, but she did her best.

“So…” the brown-haired witch ventured, dropping her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “how was the meeting with McGonagall?”

Lily tilted her head to the side, puzzled. “How did–“

“Sorry for overhearing,” Maggie interrupted. “It’s just I was coming up to ask her a question about the essay right at the same time. I figured I’d ask, knowing how she can be.”

“Oh, I just wondered. It was fine. About graduation mostly. Discussing my future, you know.”

“Ooh, supplementary career counseling. Are you applying to the Minister’s Office or something?”

Lily laughed for a moment. “Lord no! I’m not very political.” Turning solemn, she added, “Besides, even if the official stance is different, well…you know. Especially the way things are going.”

Maggie’s eyes flickered toward James in the corner. “Yeah…I guess so.”

“Anyway, what are you planning on?”

“Me?” Maggie asked. “I don’t know. I’d love to say quidditch, but I don’t think I’m good enough. Maybe trying to clerk at QQS?”

“Sorry, QQS?”

“Oh, right. Quality Quidditch Supplies. They have an apprenticeship program where you can try different things – purchasing, sales, inventory control, even research and development for their store line of equipment. I think it would be neat if I can’t play.”

Lily’s eyes widened and she pulled her head back slightly. “That sounds impressive. I didn’t know they were such a big operation really…”

“Number one retail supplier in Britain since 1947,” the other girl cited. “They like employees to know the company history,” she added with a wink.

“Sorry to interrupt such a lively conversation,” Potter said, giving Maggie’s shoulder a friendly squeeze.

“No worries, James,” she responded. “I know you have rounds. Now that you’re so official these days with _two_ fancy badges.”

“Yeah…though for the record it’s _three_ actually” he corrected, rolling his eyes. “Get on, Mags,” he continued jerking his head toward the boys’ staircase. “You know Anders is terrible with time and I understand he was supposed to join you studying with Baird and Ferguson?”

Maggie snapped to, mocking James with a salute. “Yes sir, Captain Head Boy, sir.” Dissolving into laughter she peeled away from the group with a wave goodbye.

Shaking his head, he refocused on Lily. “Ready, Evans?”

With a nod, she stepped in front of him and they moved out the portrait hole and into the darkened halls. Unlike last time, Potter was immediately conversant.

“Heard you got stuck with Sirius today in Potions…how was that?”

She glared sidelong at him for the briefest of moments. “Fine, I suppose. Provided he didn’t mess up our potion.”

“Yes, well…if he did I’ll be taking the same mark. I had to make it up over my break period today.”

Lily looked at him as they continued to stride forward. With everything that had happened since, the first class seemed quite a long time ago and she had almost forgotten her co-Head’s absence. If anything serious had happened, he was showing no signs of it – and of course he was still here, doing rounds with her, so it couldn’t have been anything really. It was almost unbelievable, the Head Boy blatantly pranking fellow students and getting away with it, but then Dumbledore had appointed him for some reason.

“What did Dumbledore want?” she asked.

Potter snorted. “Straight to the point then,” he said, chuckling lightly. “It was a personal matter. I know you’re disappointed to have to carry on dealing with me, but there aren’t any changes afoot there.”

Lily frowned. “I’m not disappointed,” she said firmly.

He stared back, obviously dubious.

“Fine. I _am_ disappointed that you flouted the rules, as a student _leader_ , and didn’t get punished. But I’m not disappointed you’re still Head Boy.”

“How progressive of you,” he smirked. “And for the record, I had very little to do with that. I merely explained the use of suspended triggers. They dragged me along. I’d have rather slept.”

Now it was Lily’s turn to look skeptical.

“Honestly, Evans. It was their idea of cheering me up.”

“Rather twisted, don’t you think?”

Potter shrugged. “Their heart was in the right place.”

“Attacking other students?”

“Well, I’d hardly call it an _attack_. A surprise maybe.”

Lily shook her head. “You’re still unbelievable.”

He smirked again. “At least I haven’t been downgraded since last week.”

The two descended the stairs to the next corridor in silence, with Lily stealing glances at him more than once along the way. Somehow despite his cavalier attitude about the situation his response was less infuriating. She was entirely sure she believed that he hadn’t lifted a wand in setting up the prank, but at least he wasn’t as boastful or even proud really about it.

“Did it cheer you up?” she asked suddenly.

“What?”

“The prank. You said it was to cheer you up?”

“Right,” he nodded before staring off down the hallway. “No,” he said. “I can’t say that it did.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“You just seem…better. Than last time I mean. And by the lake.”

“Yeah, well. You can’t cry forever, right?” he said evenly.

Lily looked at him again, trying to appraise his expression. She’d set him off before going down this road. But he had definitely ended his response with a question. Was it legitimately safe?

“I suppose not. Are you–“

“Over it?” he interrupted. “No.”

“I was going to say feeling better about it,” she said, looking at her feet.

Potter’s face softened slightly. There was still a hardness about it, but beyond it somewhere, perhaps it was the extra slack in his cheeks, there was less tension. His eyes were less angry and more…well, she couldn’t place it. She didn’t know Potter that well.

“Yeah. It could be worse,” he said. “I mean, other people, they walk in on blood…bodies these days. She’s alive at least. Otherwise it would’ve been in the papers.”

He was certainly right on that score. Lily thought back to her own summer. Stuck in the doldrums of isolation for much of it, she’d had little to do late at night but ponder with increasing concern the headlines coming out of the _Daily Prophet_. There were days where the names of witches and wizards in different parts of the country got published now. Almost always muggleborns.

The lack of elaboration from Potter made clear that he wasn’t going to volunteer more on the subject of missing girlfriend and Lily didn’t feel like pressing. Their footsteps echoed on the cold stone of the castle and in the darkness, her thoughts returned to the same place they’d traveled on her worst nights this summer. This place – Hogwarts – was strong and sturdy. The world outside was fragile and her place in it even more so. Soon she wouldn’t be able to count on this anymore, she’d be surrounded by the brutality, the filthiness that currently couldn’t reach her. And she’d be alone in it.

She was jostled back to the present by someone grabbing her shoulder.

“Evans?” he said, the question laden with concern she’d never heard from him before.

“What?” she asked sharply, instantly regretting her tone.

Potter stiffened. “Nothing then.”

She reached out to stop him. “I’m sorry,” she said to him for the first time. “I was just…caught up in my thoughts.”

“Some thoughts…”

Suddenly, there were voices in the corridor behind them. Potter drew his wand.

“What are you doing?” Lily hissed, grabbing his wrist.

He jerked his hand away. “I know those voices,” he shot back in a hushed voice of his own.

At first, Lily crossed her arms, standing in place. If he was so concerned, he could deal with it. Watching him creep away however, clearly moving with the utmost care to avoid making a sound intrigued her. What could he honestly be expecting? Careful not to make noise of her own, she moved forward slowly as well. In front of her, Potter paused at the door. There was a quick rushing sound and a faint amount of light sprung toward them out of the darkness. She froze. Though the incantation had been unknown to her, but the voice was unmistakable. _Severus_.

Potter pulled back quickly, causing her to stumble with a surprised gasp. “Wha–“

He put his finger to his lips abruptly before pointing to the space to the left of the door. Hearing footsteps coming their way, Lily complied, expecting Potter to follow. Instead, he moved to the other side of the opening and pressed his back to it. He raised his wand quickly to his chest and stared at her until she matched him.

“There’s nobody here,” came a deep voice.

More steps hurriedly followed. “You left the range of the spell you idiot!” Severus hissed. “Mark my words, Potter and…Evans,” he paused, “ _are_ out there.”

“Then we should deal with them,” came a third, this time female voice.

“Don’t be stupid,” another shot back. “What we’re supposed to do is clear. It’s useless if we’re expelled,” the boy snapped.

“I’m _not_ being stupid. If they were out there they would have broken this up by now anyway. They’re the bloody Heads.”

“Enough!” said Severus icily.

Lily was surprised by the sudden silence that fell over the group.

“Regulus is right,” he continued, “and _further_ , they wouldn’t break _anything_ up if they believed a bunch of blabbering fools were about to say far too much.”

“What do you suggest?” asked Regulus.

Lily looked downward, fighting back tears. She had known Severus was more than flirting with darkness. She’d known his friends, if that’s what they truly were, counted themselves among the followers of the man most simply called “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.” But this nearly broke her. This wasn’t falling into the wrong path. This was running into their fold with open arms. He was a…a _leader_ among them…and _in_ the school.

Across the way she saw Potter watching her with an odd expression. She’d expected smugness – a smirk or a triumphant gleam in his eye. Instead he appeared…almost concerned, as his eyes met hers. She gestured toward the doorway. It would be better for her to end it. “I’ll go,” she mouthed.

“No!” Potter silently shouted back.

“He won’t let them hurt me,” she answered noiselessly, referencing her former friend. She hoped those words were still true.

“You don’t know that,” he responded, unknowingly driving at the heart of her fears. “Don’t move.”

Staring at him incredulously, she stayed still. How long would they wait here? They had to act at some point.

“…now go on,” she heard Severus finish.

Almost immediately footsteps broke in every direction, some straight through the doorway. Lily confronted the students as they emerged, a shocked expression crossing her face before she could suppress it. Two _prefects_?

“What…Imogen? Drayton?”

“Just turn us in,” the girl said petulantly.

Potter came from the other side wearing a hard glare. “Oh we’ll do that. Right after you explain what the hell you’re involved with.”

Drayton Hassell, one of the new Slytherin prefects snorted.

“Something funny, Hassell? Maybe you’d like me to change your tune?”

The girl laughed openly. “That’s an empty threat, Potter – and you know it. From what I hear, you don’t even have the spine to pull pranks anymore now that you’re Dumbledore’s little hand-picked champion.”

His eyes bored into the blonde girl. “I’d watch your mouth too Slaughter. I’d hate to pronounce an incantation wrong in your general direction.”

“Stop it, Potter,” Lily broke in. “Nobody’s casting spells on anyone.”

“You know what they are, Evans!” he said hotly. “We can’t just slap them on the wrists.”

“There’s a _protocol_ ,” she insisted.

“Isn’t this just _adorable_ ,” Slaughter taunted. “I’ve heard so much about you two’s little tiffs, but seeing one first hand…”

“ _Silencio_!” Potter hissed before repeating the process on Hassell. He prodded both with his wand to get them moving toward the staircase and ultimately, Slughorn’s office.

Roughly half an hour later, they emerged alone, leaving Slughorn to lecture them further so they could continue their rounds. Glancing at her counterpart, she could tell he was still seething.

“He’s not going to do anything you know,” Potter grumbled.

Lily sighed. “Yes. But that’s not our responsibility. It’s his. And Dumbledore’s.”

“It’s our job to keep people safe too, Evans.”

“I know. And we still did that tonight.”

“For now,” he said bitterly, “at least until word gets out about what little happened to them.”

“We couldn’t have hexed them,” she insisted. “They never even drew their wands.”

“And they won’t until it’s too late,” he shot back. “Don’t you get it? That’s how things got how they did on the outside. Nobody was empowered to _do_ anything and now the chance is gone.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying this is a _war_ , Evans. Last year’s attack on the first-years? It wasn’t a prank. It was an audition. And the worse it gets out there, the worse it’ll get for us.”

“Then we need guidance. We’ll talk to Dumbledore.”

Potter shook his head. “He’s dealing with something at the Ministry for the next week.” He paused, looking slightly guilty. “But you don’t know that.”

“Right,” she nodded. “McGonagall then.”

Potter ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Yeah. I guess.”

As they began making their way to the higher levels of the castle, Lily frowned. Perhaps Hogwarts wasn’t as sturdy as she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m glad to finally be back with an update for you. Originally, I had broken this into two shorter chapters, but ultimately decided that separating the James/Lily interaction wasn’t a good enough justification for that since it didn’t make a big difference in the themes addressed or the tone. Hopefully you’ve found the transitions satisfactory now that it’s all put together. 
> 
> Since it’s a longer chapter, I also don’t have as long of a note to bore you with. I’m looking forward to getting another update in soon that will probably address Seventh-Year Snape in more detail. It may also address some other characters independently as well, such as Peter and Sirius. I know I’ve gotten some feedback on a Remus-centric chapter and that is actually coming – it’s just something I have a specific scene in mind for that happens a bit later in the year.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	42. A Difficult Position

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She despised contradictions and Umstadt's Paradox was the worst possible example from the worst possible subject.

Back in his dormitory, Severus Snape fumed. Though he knew it was a byproduct of their positions, he was disgusted by the thought of Lily working together with _Potter_ again. This time she had to have known he was present. What kind of meeting she’d nearly walked in on. And he hadn’t heard a word spoken in his defense.

He threw the book he’d been carrying back onto his bed, spinning around to confront his associates. Lucius was right. There was no room for dwelling on the past. He couldn’t comprehend the difficulty of his situation, but to explain, to seek true guidance was impossible. It would reveal weakness. The type of weakness that the Dark Lord would never tolerate.

“You’ve cost us progress tonight!” he snapped. “Every single day is of the utmost importance!”

Avery and Mulciber exchanged irritated glares.

“It was your fault,” the former insisted. “If you hadn’t insisted on walking like a troll–“

“Bollocks! You’re the one–“

“Just shut up,” the dark-haired wizard in the corner said dully. “We’ll be lucky if Slaughter and Hassell aren’t stripped of their badges – they’ll be useless then.”

“Dumbledore wouldn’t make that mistake. He knows who their parents are,” Avery sniped.

“Dumbledore isn’t a _fool_ ,” Severus spat. “He’s defeated a dark wizard before. One far inferior to the Dark Lord, but powerful nevertheless. He knows more is at stake than a badge.”

Regulus smirked.

“I’ll wipe that right off your face,” Mulciber threatened.

“No you won’t,” the younger boy said coolly, rising from where he’d been leaning and striding toward the others. Severus could see ice in his eyes and a hand reaching toward his robes.

He intervened. “We won’t need a demonstration, Black.”

Regulus snorted, stopping and crossing his arms.

“This…setback…however, must be dealt with,” Severus continued. “The Dark Lord expects resistance to be broken when he completes his rise to power. Resistance _will_ be strong unless we act to undermine it.”

“You’ve said that a dozen times since we got on the train,” Avery groaned. “Are you his bloody puppet?”

Severus fixed him with a hard stare. “We are all instruments of his will. Though I dare say some of us have longer strings than others. Especially in light of certain…failures.”

He smiled as Avery blanched. Lucius had approached him in the summer as well, but had discovered his compatriot didn’t have the skill or stomach required for greater duty. The pair had laughed about it together in Malfoy Manor while they waited for Him to arrive. Despite the pain, what had followed had been one of the most gratifying experiences of his young life. Severus closed his eyes, picturing his flesh. Now, he was truly part of it. Now, he meant something. _Now_ , greatness was a certainty. Those who doubted it – he glared again at Avery – would learn otherwise or be crushed.

“As I was saying…there will never be a pair of students better equipped to galvanize the school against us than Potter and Evans. With the system of tutelage we’ve established, and the clever installation of that dullard Stone by the Governors, others won’t have the skill required. Evans is far more dangerous with a wand than her appearance suggests. Beloved…” he forced himself on, “and Potter is…talented,” he muttered, “charismatic,” he spat, the words tasting like bile.

“So they have to be broken,” Regulus said matter-of-factly.

“Regrettably, the Dark Lord will not permit the halls of this school to be sullied to that extent – not yet.”

“Then what?” Avery asked dumbly.

“Simple,” Regulus chuckled, “destroy their credibility with the other houses. And then…”

Severus glanced as the others. Good. They were watching expectantly.

“…we emerge. Brazen. So brazen even Gryffindors will have to realize they can’t protect them. Not even with Dumbledore here.”

“And he won’t be here as often as he’d like. Older operatives within the Ministry will be keeping him flitting back and forth as much as possible,” Severus added. He turned to his younger associate. “And what of your brother, Regulus?”

The other boy’s visage darkened. “That’s a family matter,” he said sharply, foreclosing discussion.

Severus frowned. He supposed that was satisfactory given Black’s disdain for authority in all its forms. Regardless, things were coming together. They would have to wait for the word from Slaughter and Hassell to be certain of the course forward, but he remained quietly confident. And Avery and Mulciber had been put in their place. Already they were becoming deferential to Regulus, a more fitting right hand who was destined to take his place next year. There would be no hope for youth to prove the bastion of resistance once the mere thought of it had been destroyed by something even stronger. Fear.

Early the following morning, Sirius found himself surrounded by the hoots of the owlery. Prior to this year, it had been an unfamiliar place to him. The last letter he’d received from home had been a Howler following a Gryffindor victory over Slytherin in the Quidditch Cup and as things deteriorated between the wizard and his family, he’d developed a strong reluctance to accompany James or any of the others on their trips. It had simply been a reminder that he was forsaken.

Today however, the cool autumn air brought him comfort as he stuffed a letter into his owl’s beak. The beast shook its head in irritation, but Sirius simply scowled. He’d instructed the damned thing that its deliveries were headed to a muggle. Even a bird ought to understand how they’d feel about avian deliveries.

Hearing footsteps, he quickly retreated, peeking furtively outside. There was a small mop of hair and sniffles. Ahh. The tell-tale signs of a homesick first year. He noted the color of the boy’s tie. Scarlet and gold. He shook his head. It would’ve been a nice to spook fresh meat from another house. Instead, he sauntered casually back toward the castle.

Unexpectedly the kid tripped while wiping his nose. As he stumbled forward, Sirius reached out and caught him by the shoulder. Wide-eyed, the boy stammered out a thank you.

“No worries,” Sirius shrugged.

“Y-you’re Sirius Bl-black…”

Sirius smirked, rubbing a hand over his long locks. “So you’ve heard of me?”

“S-sure!” the boy enthused. “You’re on the quidditch team! And everyone says you’re brilliant at pranks.”

Well, now he had a brighter look to him.

“Did you really dump a bunch of stinky slime on the Slytherins?”

The older wizard chuckled. “Don’t believe everything you hear, shrimp,” he said with a wink, walking off toward Gryffindor Tower.

Upon his return, the common room was still quiet. He wondered what people would think if they could see him now. A secret letter stuffed in the pocket of his robe as he crept back in before breakfast.

“Hello there, Padfoot,” James said from the corner.

Whipping around, Sirius saw a mischievous glint in his eye. “Hello, Prongs! Trying to beat the chickens out of bed too?”

James snorted loudly, trying to suppress a laugh. “And what in the name of Merlin would _you_ know about chickens?”

“As much as you, I’d bet,” Sirius said nonchalantly, failing to see the wand in his best friend’s hand. In a flash his pockets had been turned out and the letter he’d fetched was zipping across the room. He should _never_ have shared that Commandeering Charm.

“Oooh,” James said airily, gazing at the carefully folded white stationery. “This is _fancy_. I wonder who it’s from.”

The other wizard crossed the room quickly, snatching for the paper as James leapt onto the seat cushion holding it high into the air as he used one hand to fend off Sirius’s futile swats. For the next few minutes the pair chased each other around the furniture, James bouncing from piece to piece as Sirius hurried to keep up. Finally, as his friend attempted another leap from chair to sofa, Sirius resorted to his wand, locking his legs and causing him to fall hard, yet harmlessly onto the cushions.

“Cheat!” James yelped.

“You’re lucky I didn’t make it a full body bind,” Sirius barked, snatching the letter from his friend’s clutches.

“What are you two _doing_?” Marlene snapped irritably from across the room.

“Just a friendly misunderstanding, McKinnon,” Sirius answered, flashing the blonde one of his broadest smiles.

“My arse,” she said bitterly, “you’ll wake up the whole house going on like that!”

“Well, we’ve managed you anyway,” he replied. “Frankly, I’m a bit disappointed.”

Marlene scowled. “I ought to have Lily foul up your potion. I don’t like to be woken.”

“Ahh, but she’d never do that...” Sirius said smugly.

“Of course she would. It’s a two-for-one special.”

“Hardly,” James rebutted. “I was…detained…last lesson and I’m afraid I’ve lost my partner to Evans’s clutches until this wit-sharpening sham is over.”

The blonde glared at them before shaking her finger. “You’re lucky Stone won’t let us cast any spells. You ought to watch your back.”

“We watch _everywhere_ ,” Sirius answered, flashing his smile.

Marlene rolled her eyes. “Put your teeth away, Black. You’re liable to blind someone with those fangs of yours.” She paused briefly, fixing them with a hard stare. “And do shut up. Some of us need a little rest before Charms.”

As Sirius watched their housemate retreat back upstairs, James once again snatched the letter. Unfolding it quickly, he looked on the verge of a victory-laugh at first, but as his best friend looked on in horror, his face scrunched tightly. Seconds later he tossed it away, flinging himself to the couch with crossed arms.

Slowly, Sirius bent to pick it up, fixing it gently and placing it back in his pocket. “You weren’t meant to see it…” he offered.

“Yeah,” James said dully, “I gathered.”

Sirius looked down, pinching the skin around his mouth that needed a shave. “Look, Prongs…I didn’t expect it, honestly. I didn’t know how to…you know,” he finished lamely.

James ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He stood up and nodded, straightening his robes. “It’s good,” he said simply.

“It’s good?”

James nodded, repeating the statement.

“Hell…and I’ve been going to all this trouble.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t catch on? That I wouldn’t find out eventually?”

Sirius shrugged. “Obviously I knew you would _eventually_. I suppose I didn’t expect being Head Boy to make you such a better detective.”

James chuckled lightly.

“You’re sure you’re not pissed?”

“What would I have to be pissed about? She _was_ a looker.”

Sirius felt an uncharacteristic embarrassment creep onto his face. Suddenly, James’s arm was wrapped around his shoulder, a smirk covering his face. It was a strange sensation, knowing his best friend was happy for him. It had happened countless times since they’d met, but this was different. Approval he never knew he’d needed.

“You deserve it, mate. All that time chasing different skirts. ‘Bout time one actually caught your attention.” The young wizard crossed his arms. “It’s been going on since you moved hasn’t it?”

Sirius acknowledged the truth of the statement with a sideways nod.

“I knew you wouldn’t hold off ‘til term started again. How’d you find her?”

“I may have snuck back into town after you turned me away,” Sirius admitted.

James shook his head. “Well, I’m glad something good came of the trip.”

Lily waggled her quill idly as Flitwick droned on. Though it was tested almost every year for N.E.W.T.s if word of mouth could be trusted, the Protean Charm was nearly as boring to her as a wit-sharpening potion. Nearby, Alana was struggling to produce the desired effect despite Marlene’s coaching. Across the room, Potter and his band were sneakily tapping their neighbors’ pieces of parchment and subverting them to display their own messages. She sighed. This week had been such a mind-suck that she hardly had the energy to scowl. As she watched the befuddled expression on Claire Taylor’s face when her parchment turned green she failed to suppress a smile. At least they weren’t blowing anything up or making crude jokes this time.

Turning back toward where they were clustered, she saw that Remus had caught her. Sending a wink in her direction he elbowed Potter, gesturing at her with his quill from across the room. Why was it such a point of pride for them to make someone amused? She snapped her head downward and turned back to the scrap McGonagall had given her. _Explain the origins and nature of temporal decay in multitudinous conjuration and Umstadt’s Paradox_.

Something struck her in the back of the head and she whipped around quickly, her long hair flying out from where she’d carefully tucked it behind her ears.

“Lily!” Marlene hissed, angling her eyebrows silently toward their frustrated friend.

“I _hate_ Charms,” Alana moaned. “Why did I let you two convince me to do this?”

“Because you’re incredibly smart and absolutely capable of it,” Marlene encouraged, a little too sweetly.

“I am not,” Alana pouted.

Lily watched as her friend attempted the spell again. As she tapped her wand once more to achieve the multiplying effect, nothing happened. The defeated witch’s lips sagged in an enormous frown as she crossed her arms in front of her.

“Let me see again,” Lily coaxed. Alana simply glanced at her, the message conveyed perfectly by her expression of intense disinterest. “Really. You were so close before the end of term last time. I’m sure it’s just something simple.”

Marlene slid the parchment forward slowly as Lily watched Alana begin the intricate series of movements that preceded the necessary incantation. She noted them one by one. The vertical line, the small circle – _just the size of knut_ Flitwick had always encouraged – and there was the…oh dear.

“There,” Lily said, stopping her. “You’re putting the thrust before the extension. And it needs a more pronounced scoop to it,” she added gently.

With Marlene reminding her as she repeated the attempt, Lily clapped as she saw her friend finally find some success. Though it hadn’t worked perfectly, she was on the right track again and Lily was glad to have helped.

Returning her attention to her parchment however, she couldn’t help but frown. It was exactly the kind of question that gave her nightmares. She despised contradictions and Umstadt’s Paradox was the worst possible example from the worst possible subject. It didn’t make _sense_ that life curves for live conjures would exceed inanimate objects. Merlin! It was included in texts and studied by academics _because_ there wasn’t a clear explanation. Suddenly she felt a tapping on her shoulder. Twisting her neck around, she could make out Marlene in her periphery.

“Lily,” her friend whispered, “Look! Dumbledore’s here.”

Glancing back to the front of the class in an attempt to locate Professor Flitwick, Lily saw that her instructor had already taken notice of the Headmaster lurking in his doorway, moving as rapidly as his short legs could carry him. With a kindly smile, the gray-haired old wizard raised a hand and stepped just inside the classroom.

“Good morning, students,” he began, scanning the classroom before turning his gaze back toward the Head of Ravenclaw. “And to you Professor Flitwick.”

“Good morning, Headmaster,” the small man answered brightly.

Unfazed by the room full of stares, Dumbledore continued, “I do beg your forgiveness for my interruption, Professor, but I am afraid it _is_ absolutely necessary that I speak with two of your students right away.”

“Of course. We were merely brushing up on the Protean Charm here. Who do you need?”

“The Protean Charm you say? A most intriguing tool. And a bit of good fortune as well, as I believe you have told me before that these two students have more than mastered it. Mister Potter? Miss Evans?”

Lily immediately locked eyes with her co-Head, who merely shrugged, and began hurriedly gathering her things.

“I dare say neither of you will be needing any of your belongings. Professor Flitwick can keep them in his custody…“

Across the room, Potter inhaled deeply, flicking his eyes toward Black.

“…or,” he appended, with a miniature smile tugging at his lips, “perhaps you have friends who would be willing to transport them to your next lesson?”

Lily looked to Marlene, who quickly nodded her assent. With that, the young witch straightened her robes and made for the exit, acutely aware of all her classmates’ eyes following her until she left.

Mercifully, the walk to Dumbledore’s office took place in silence. Given recent events she was certain the conversation that was about to take place would be less than pleasant and truthfully she’d never seen Potter walk with his back so straight. Alas, the journey took far less time than she’d hoped. Lily had been there only twice before, both times early in her Hogwarts career and for entirely innocuous reasons. Still, she remembered the weight of the room. Aside from the portraits and Dumbledore’s incredibly unique pet, there were so many books, so many papers, and his incredibly ornate desk. It was possible to feel his importance just from looking around.

Taking his place behind said desk, Dumbledore gestured toward two chairs in front of him. “Sit, please,” he said generously. “We have much to discuss and I do think it would be terribly inhospitable of me to force you to stand through it.”

“Thank you, sir,” Potter said, promptly taking a seat.

“Yes, sir, thank you,” Lily echoed, swiftly following suit.

Rather than immediately opening the conversation, the Headmaster sat silently in his chair, seeming to stare off through the window overlooking the quidditch pitch. Laying his hands over his stomach, one on top of the other, he removed his trademark spectacles, eyeing them for…something before replacing them. He seemed more pensive now than she had ever seen him. Though he’d been in Gryffindor rather than Ravenclaw, he was undoubtedly a brilliant mind so she supposed he did this often.

She felt Potter’s eyes on her. The moment they seemed to have left, she spared a sidelong glance in his direction. He was no longer exhibiting the same erect posture he had in the hallways. Now one foot was drawn up on the opposite knee, his head resting on his hand. Lily tucked a stray strand of hair carefully behind her ear. She didn’t like silence in settings like this.

Behind them, the door opened, triggering Dumbledore to stand. Argus Filch had arrived, bearing a sealed message of some kind. After thanking him and briefly whispering something to the irksome caretaker that triggered him to sally forth again from the office, the old wizard retook his seat. Opening the parchment and nodding simply, he opened a drawer and placed it inside before refocusing his attention on Lily and her co-Head.

“I hope neither of you will begrudge me the brief delay. I had sent our dear caretaker on a brief errand and it seems that the staircases chose the precise time of his return from the dungeons to rearrange themselves.”

“Of course not, Professor,” the two students volunteered simultaneously.

Dumbledore smiled back briefly, before his face transformed into one of seriousness. “I took the opportunity to read each of your reports on the incident that occurred last night, along with Professor McGonagall’s of course.”

Potter cocked his head. “But I thought–“

“That I was elsewhere?” Dumbledore queried. “Yes, I was quite interested in the timing myself. But fortunately enough one of the badges of my office is a direct floo connection to Hogwarts. However, I must confess Mister Potter that I am quite interested to know how _you_ became aware of my absence…”

“I caught a glimpse of the agenda in my father’s study before the start of term,” he explained lamely.

Dumbledore shook his head, rewarding Potter with a half-smile and a wink. “Do not look so shocked Miss Evans,” he said, reacting to the look of incredulity that she had tried to suppress. “Before I chose each of you to serve in your roles I was well aware of your strengths.”

Lily forced a polite smile. She’d certainly never expected Albus Dumbledore to refer to eavesdropping as a strength. But then, she considered, she’d never expected him to make Potter Head Boy either.

“In any event, the reason I brought you here is to inform you that I expect you to continue to work with Miss Slaughter and Mister Hassell for the remainder of the year.”

Lily found her head jerking toward James. While her bright green eyes darkened with anger, his seemed…irritated, but also…curious. Running a hand through his hair, he leaned forward slightly in his chair.

“Respectfully, sir,” he ventured, “how are we supposed to _do_ that?”

She couldn’t have phrased it any better herself.

“A reasonable question,” the Headmaster began, nodding his head gently. “I recognize it puts you in a difficult situation…infractions and insubordination unpunished…” he paused briefly, his eyes rolling upward as if considering the thought that had just entered his mind. “Still,” he resumed, “I assure you it _is_ necessary.”

Lily looked back to Potter. Finally meeting his eyes directly she tried to send him a silent message by shooting an incredulous expression in his direction. Exasperatingly, he simply nodded toward Dumbledore, tightening the corner of his mouth in a pensive frown.

“Believe me, Miss Evans, I am not unsympathetic to the position I am placing you both in,” the old wizard continued, allowing his eyes to linger on both students in turn over the rims of his trademark spectacles.

“But Professor–“ Lily protested.

Dumbledore interrupted, silencing her with a finger. Standing, his elegant robes shimmered in the morning light streaming through the window. He turned his back on them briefly. “Are either of you much familiar with muggle history?”

Lily puzzled at his question. Surely this wasn’t the time…

“Hmm,” the Headmaster mused. “I have been meaning to speak with Professor Adcock about including more on that. I often find context and perspective to be most instructive, don’t you?”

As she nodded dumbly she was happy to see Potter doing the same alongside her.

“In any event,” Dumbledore said, turning back to face them, “I did some research on ancient cultures in my youth. It was perhaps the most valuable experience from that time in my life – the rather more frequent barbarism was troubling of course – but the complexity of thought and expressions of the essentials of humanity and identity still hold quite a bit of merit.”

Reaching into his desk once more, he produced a small, battered book and handed it to Lily.

“Thank you, Professor,” she answered graciously.

“I am an old man now,” he said, chuckling lightly, “you need it far more than I do.”

“ _Republic_?” Lily questioned. “A book on governance?”

“And so much more,” Dumbledore enthused. “And Mister Potter – I believe you could get some use from this,” he continued, producing from within his robes a leather-bound book of similar size. “I am not certain your teammates will appreciate it, but I am confident you can discover the balance necessary to make the most of what lies within.”

“Thanks, sir,” he said simply.

After watching them scan the gifts awkwardly for more than a minute, Lily looked up to find Dumbledore’s eyes looking down on her with an encouraging glint. “Both of you are free to go,” the older wizard said. “I am certain Professor Stone will be missing you otherwise…”

Sharing another confused glance with Potter, Lily got up and after offering the Headmaster a tepid smile, bid him farewell and strode toward the staircase they’d used to enter his office. It was no surprise that she could almost feel her housemate nipping at her heels to beat his own hasty retreat.

Reading two different books was supposed to ensure safety despite two dissenters in their ranks?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m very interested in your thoughts on this – both the escalation of operations within Hogwarts via Snape (and Snape’s POV) and the exchange with Dumbledore. I recognize that for now, the latter may seem quite odd (even for Dumbledore), but I wanted it to be in keeping with his eccentricity and also his unwillingness to ever truly tip his hand. While Lily’s book is more transparent in the moment (if you’re familiar with Plato’s Republic) the impact of both will be addressed and made clear later in the story and will contribute to James and Lily unraveling each other and Dumbledore’s reasons for placing them in their roles as well and how to deal with it. So keep the faith?
> 
> The plan for now is to keep moving pretty slowly in this part of the story so that I can build up some of the big seventh year plot points as well as start truly dialing up the James/Lily aspect of the story (which will start more in earnest next chapter). There will be more secondary character development in the future as well, and even some more quidditch too (more distantly) as I know many readers enjoyed the matches previously and I have something interesting planned for the first match of the season.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	43. Outlaw and Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'But if people lose faith in Hogwarts...that's where we're finished.'

James paced the floor at the front of the room anxiously. He hadn’t been this simultaneously nervous and frustrated since…well, probably since his first failed attempt at the full animagus transformation. Leading had always come naturally to him, but then he’d always led from a position of strength. Now, he scowled, Dumbledore had gone and thrown a major wrench in the works. It was nearly impossible to tell what he was thinking on a good day, but the way he’d been so placid – so _unconcerned_ – in the face of what had happened. And surely he _knew_ what had really happened, whatever those two idiots had concocted in their silence on the way to see Slughorn.

The door swung open and in strode Evans. She looked surprisingly unfussed. Though she was walking a bit quickly, especially given that it was in his direction.

“About bloody time,” he grumbled.

She frowned briefly before stooping over to move a table to the front of the room.

“Why do you always do it that way?” James asked irritatedly as the bottoms of the wooden legs scraped loudly across the stone floor. He dug around for his wand briefly, but by the time his hand found it in the pocket of his robes she had maneuvered it into position.

Standing calmly behind it as she surveyed the room, his co-Head wiped her hands on her jumper before smoothing it out. Producing a hair tie from around her wrist, she swiftly put her hair in a low ponytail, brushing some of the remaining strands of hair out of her face.

“That’s how I moved things for eleven years, Potter,” she said dully, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

James began pacing again.

“What’s gotten into you?” she asked abruptly.

He stopped, running a hand through his hair. “What do you mean?”

“You’re being odd,” she said, narrowing her eyes as she appraised him briefly. “And the last two occasions you were almost last to arrive.”

James harrumphed. “Yes, well…” he started, tossing his hands in the air, “this isn’t the last two occasions is it?” He turned to face her, subjecting his housemate to the same scrutiny he’d just be shown. “Come to think of it _you’re_ the one who’s being strange.”

“I am not,” she protested.

“Sure you are. No parchment with an agenda, no briefing for me…” James fiddled with one of the ancient instruments that stood at the front of the Charms classroom. “Highly unusual…” he said, trailing off as he lowered his eye toward the large glass sphere at one end. “What do you think Flitwick does with this, anyway?”

“How should I know?”

“You’re his prize pupil,” James shrugged.

Evans rolled her eyes. “Flitwick doesn’t play favorites.”

“…he really doesn’t does he?” he admitted, straightening up. “So…what do we say about it? When Slaughter and Hassell come in here with their smug little faces – which you _know_ they will.”

James watched as she ran the side of her index finger across her lips. “I don’t know.” She stopped, arms crossed, and gazed off toward the ceiling briefly. Though she was facing away from him, James could tell she was thinking, her fingers rubbing her fingertips together beside her head as if they were an imaginary quill. He’d seen the look before, normally when she was intensely concentrating on one of their Professors’ lectures.

For his part, James stared out the small window overlooking the front of the castle. Fall was clearly on its way as he could observe the trees of the Forbidden Forest far off in the distance, swaying in what he imagined was the first truly chill wind of the year. Though it could barely be called mid-September now, it had been a cool year with few exceptions. He glanced at his watch.

“The first of them probably won’t be here for at least fifteen minutes,” Evans piped up behind him.

Turning around to face her, he was surprised to see she’d placed a second chair next to hers. Normally she didn’t bother – usually he simply stood by idly anyway while she ran through her monotonously detailed agenda.

She caught his eyes. “Like you said, we need to be together on this.”

“Right.”

Keeping her gaze fixed on him, she tilted her head slightly. “Are you going to help?”

“With?”

“What we’re going to say.”

James chewed the inside of his cheek. He was supposed to be the inspiration then? “Maybe act normal after all. Let them draw their own conclusions.”

“Expedient as it would be, I don’t think we can do that,” Evans countered. “We have to shake up the assignments somehow. Hassell and Benton? He thinks he’s safe, he’ll roll right over her.”

“She’s not as weak as you think. Besides, sometimes the best move is no move,” James shrugged. “We make a load of changes, we draw attention. We draw attention, we draw questions. Too many questions. And then we’re shot if there’s any incongruity.”

He wasn’t shocked when his co-Head started by shaking her head in skepticism. “If we don’t act, we’re weak though…” she said, biting her lip. “But if we do, it obviously involves the Slytherins. Then they’ll say we’re biased – typical Gryffindors – judging their house even when no official action gets taken.” Evans frowned deeply. “He’s put us in a hell of a spot.”

“Hell, Evans?”

“What?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you be so coarse,” James smirked.

She glared. “This isn’t the time.”

“I think it’s the perfect time. We need a little levity.”

“That’s not constructive, Potter.”

James took the seat next to her, his expression hardening. “Then trust me.”

“I…” she hesitated. “Alright.”

“Then we don’t change assignments.”

“We do nothing?“ she snapped, throwing her hands in the air and leaning back from the table.

“Oh we _do_ plenty. But not with assignments.”

“This isn’t a game,” she fired back, turning away.

James grabbed her shoulder and her head snapped immediately in his direction. Her eyes were unpleasantly surprised, just shy of warning. “Come on, Evans. This counts on you. You have to speak if we do it this way. You’re the law and order. You’re the credibility. I’ll get to the rest later, but what would you say to them…if we don’t change any assignments?”

The door swung open, interrupting them. Remus entered, looking peaked, with Maggie Brinkley and James swiftly pulled his hand away after getting an eyebrow from his friend. A stupid reaction. There was nothing in it. But he didn’t dare glance back at Evans or engage in extra conversation. That would only fuel Remus’s interest. James counted himself lucky Maggie’d been rummaging in her pocket.

More rapidly than expected, the missing prefects filed in, leaving no time to follow up on the conversation. Even if he’d wanted to though, by the time he had looked back, Evans was out of her seat hauling over a blackboard and beginning to re-write the usual list of announcements. Though he usually paid little attention, this time he was worried, eyes flitting from his watch to the door to the blackboard, hoping she wouldn’t spring a surprise at the end of her list. Hoping harder she wouldn’t ad lib when she finally got up to speak. Ad libbing was _not_ her forte.

Of course the last three to enter were Slaughter, Hassell and the latter’s partner, the surprisingly vibrant Astrid Benton. James had heard rumors that Benton was talented on the quidditch pitch, incredibly adept at maneuvering in space and shooting, even if her passing was a bit off. She’d narrowly missed making the team last season as a fourth year and with graduation hitting their chasers again, she was almost certainly a lock this time around. The younger witch cracked her knuckles as she took a seat in the center of the room away from her housemates.

Behind him the scribbling stopped. Casting a glance over his shoulder he could see Evans waiting expectantly for silence, her posture typically erect and one hand clasping the other in front of her. Striding forward, she cleared her throat loudly.

“Excuse me, everyone–“

Eyes snapped begrudgingly to.

“–we have some important news and I’m sure everyone would like to get back to what they were doing before, so if we can just continue.”

As Evans ran down the usual announcements, James watched the attention of most of the room start to wane. Truly, she was dreadfully boring at this. Moony was politely attentive, but then again he was probably just trying to support his two friends.

“…so we’ll need to enforce the dress code more strictly from now on. The burden’s on you with the skirts ladies. The last thing we need is an awkward conversation about why the boys were paying such close attention…”

“Last thing we need is another bloody lecture,” one of the younger Ravenclaws muttered.

“Yeah,” a Hufflepuff agreed, “she’s as bad as Binns.”

Out of the corner of his eye, James could make out his co-Head fighting her face reddening.

“What I want to know is what _they’re_ still doing here…” grumbled Conor Blakely, a Gryffindor in the year below them, gesturing behind him.

Evans’s eyes shot toward him.

A few nods started in the crowd while Slaughter and Hassell merely snickered.

“You know,” James began, easing himself out of the leaning position he’d taken against the table. “That’s an excellent question, Conor, and I’m glad you bring it up because it just so happens that if you lot stopped taking turns nodding off or cutting up, you’d realize my co-Head here was about to give you the answer.”

As he turned to face her, James was pleasantly surprised to see that she had completely maintained her composure. Briefly, their eyes met and he offered an encouraging smile as he gestured for her to take center stage.

“This should be good,” Claire Taylor whispered to the group of younger witches she had positioned herself to hold court over.

James tutted. “Come on now, Claire…you’re ruining the moment.”

The dark-haired beauty rolled her eyes theatrically before straightening up in her seat. “Whatever.”

Evans cleared her throat again. “Yes. Well, like James was saying, we expected that there would be questions with all the rumors that have been going around. Of course,” she continued, “that’s just the problem with rumors – they rarely have any basis in fact.”

“Come _on_ ,” Bamford sniped. “You can’t possibly expect us to believe that. It’s been going ‘round for days without a word from either of you.”

She surprised him further by laughing.

“Did you expect an emergency meeting and expulsions on account of a few students being out of bed after curfew and getting caught with flasks of Firewhiskey?”

All around the room, the prefects exchanged confused glances, their instantaneous murmuring swiftly reaching a dull roar.

James smirked at the two stunned Slytherins in the back. They were clearly seething. Remus looked on, intrigued while Benton seemed to be studying the two Heads with a curious expression on her face.

“Oi!” he yelled. “Settle down! She’s not finished.”

His eyes met hers again and he could see she was less tense. Emboldened even.

She strode forward until she was just inches away from the first row of desks. “Do you honestly believe we, let alone _Dumbledore_ , would–“

“But–“ Bamford protested.

“But nothing,” James declared with finality. “It’s a mistake. End of. It’s all settled and we expect everyone to respect the decision that’s been made. You’ve got a problem, you take it up with us later. But nothing changes.”

The room fell silent.

“Well,” Evans prompted. “You know your assignments. Meeting adjourned.”

The group filed out quicker than ever, most of them muttering among themselves. When the door finally closed behind a sour-faced Craig Bamford, Evans exhaled.

James emitted a low whistle before flicking his wand and muttering, “ _Muffliato_.” Beside him, his co-Head still appeared to be taking it all in. “Not bad, Evans. Forget that, it was damn good.”

“I can’t believe I lied to them…”

“Is it as awful as you imagined?”

“I…it was the only thing I could come up with.”

“And it worked a treat.”

Evans looked at him skeptically. “With all those murmurs? They weren’t convinced…and the Slytherins could put it to bed whenever they wanted.”

James snorted, shaking his head.

“What?”

“You’re new to the game. The Slytherins can’t put anything to bed.”

“Of course they can!” she exclaimed. “There were others…”

“And they’re going to reveal themselves are they? All of them? As Death Eaters – supporters at the very least? They don’t have that kind of hold yet.”

She nodded, slowly.

“Seriously,” James offered, “You were brilliant.”

“I’m not sure I should take being a good liar as a compliment,” she frowned, moving to erase the chalkboard again.

James began helping her reset the classroom. “Then think of it as being persuasive.”

He expected a glare, a groan, or a swift rebuke. Instead he got silence.

After a few minutes they were side-by-side again, surveying their work.

“What now?” she asked.

He chuckled. “Now’s the hard part. Keeping control.”

“I thought you had some brilliant proposal for that if we kept assignments the same.”

“I do,” James said, running a hand through his hair.

Evans shifted her weight to one leg and put a hand squarely on one hip. “Well?”

“We’re going to have to shadow them to make sure there aren’t anymore incidents.”

“You mean like doubling-up on rounds? But we just told them we weren’t changing assignments. They’ll go ballistic!”

James shook his head sharply. “ _They’re_ not involved. We’ll do the shadowing.”

Immediately, she threw her hands into the air and walked away toward the window. “Unbelievable…” she muttered.

James looked on as she paced back and forth, gazing out at the darkening sky. He’d expected it, in fairness. From her uniform, always pressed and proper, to her excessive studying, there was no doubt that Lily was one tightly-wound witch. He wondered if anyone had ever gotten her to truly relax.

After staring at the ceiling for a moment, she whipped round. “You realize how ridiculous a suggestion that is, don’t you? How _impossible_? We’re both sitting for seven N.E.W.T.s at the end of the year!”

“Yeah. Priority number one, right? Because they’ll be worth loads in a war I’ll bet.”

She opened her mouth twice to retort, but each time, wound up closing it. She turned away again, shoulders visibly sagging. It was a sharp contrast to the perfect posture she constantly maintained. He’d really troubled her. Tentatively, James took a couple of steps toward her.

“Evans…”

She faced him again, inhaling sharply and tightening her face. “Explain how you’d do it.”

“Are you–“

“I’m fine.”

“You’re _not_ fine.”

She looked down, her bangs sliding over to hang in front of her face. Most witches charmed them to stay in place. Or used a potion…

Cocking his head to the side to look at her, he took another step closer. “Hey,” he prompted, “I get it, alright?”

She fixed her hair quickly and straightened again, remaining silent except for a sigh she tried to conceal.

James bit the inside of his lip, looking on in concern. He’d seen a wide range from her before – unbridled happiness, encouragement, concern, outrage – though it was almost exclusively the latter directed at him. Never this. She looked…resigned.

“You know, even with the papers I figured we’d be safe _here_. It’s easier to think about school than…” she gestured toward the outside, “all that. Here I’ve got classes, friends, respect. A future…”

“That’s what this plan’s all about. Our future. None of us wants this – none of us that are any good anyway. But if people lose faith in Hogwarts…that’s where we’re finished. The younger students…if they give up then he wins.”

“And shadowing is supposed to fix that.”

“Not alone,” James admitted. “But it’s a start.”

She nodded. “We should iron it out after dinner. I need some time.”

“Sure. Common room at eight?”

She nodded again, slowly, making her way toward the door.

“Evans,” James called out, “we can do this.”

With Marlene and Alana nowhere to be found on her return from the Prefects’ meeting, Lily elected to go straight to dinner. Perhaps, she hoped, they would be in the Great Hall themselves, even though it would be quite out of the ordinary. Alas, when she entered, the enormous room was sparsely populated. At the Hufflepuff table she saw the trio of Courtney Smith, Rebecca Saunders, and Whitney Blake along with some much younger students. Turning toward her own, she cursed her luck. Of all people, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew were there, surrounded by a horde of expectant third and fourth years. Some way down was Lionel who naturally had Claire draped over him, her eyes shooting a clear warning in her direction. As if she had any desire to sit with them in the first place.

Instead, she found herself a separate position far removed from both mayhem and steely eyes. She sighed as the evening meal materialized on her plate. Mashed potatoes were wearing out their welcome. But then things had seemed that way in many respects since last year. The brutality of the war had become much more open. Victims weren’t unknown muggles anymore – they were witches and wizards – mostly ones like her. Families were ripped asunder.

She glanced at Lionel laughing with Claire. They were happy, though that wasn’t surprising given Claire’s reputation as the most chaste on the rumored Hogwarts Hit List of Most Desirable Ladies. She pulled herself away. Even her interludes had been rubbish. Then despite the fact she’d held serve over Potter at the top of the class even lessons hadn’t been without setbacks. She’d gotten no closer to a solution to McGonagall’s damned scrap of parchment before Dumbledore had thrown this nightmare onto her plate.

Down the table something exploded, sending the younger students into fits and giggles. She heard Black curse at Pettigrew as the chubby boy turned all apologies. Idiots. They only needed Remus’s bemused expression and Potter’s nonchalance to complete the picture.

And yet, this year, truth be told, Potter had been anything but nonchalant. Entirely unexpectedly he’d offered ideas and though she was loathe to admit it, support during difficult moments. He seemed to have a certain nous for the role – something she’d expected of herself, but found harder to come than it had been in her imagination.

Lily glanced at her plate. The food was as colorful and rich as always, but somehow it hit her poorly tonight. Probably the distaste of what was to come. What she was supposed to be using this time to forget about. It was times like these she longed for the back of her mother’s kitchen chairs to lean on, for her mother’s ear to bend. She’d taken it for granted this summer and now there was no place for it anymore she thought bitterly. She was of age in this world and had been for some time. And these problems weren’t ones her mother could ever understand.

Though she’d never been a social butterfly, she suddenly felt incredibly conscious of the fact she was alone. Almost everyone counted her a friend – or at least a friendly acquaintance – and so despite her heritage she’d never wanted for company. Now, with a schedule that already ran her ragged and two straight summers barely seeing her best friends even that felt different. For the first time at Hogwarts, Lily felt well and truly alone.

By the appointed hour for their meeting, Lily had only slid further into her disconsolate state. When Marlene and Alana had finally appeared it had been to announce with much fanfare the submission of their preliminary applications for work next year. In their areas of interest, Phase One was a rolling process and quite effortless, with a pay off as soon as the holiday break. If they passed muster then, all they’d have to do is confirm their grades for Phase Two. Given their backgrounds, acceptance was all but assured.

As she descended the stairs, she placed the bulk of her hair loosely behind her ears, clipping the most irksome strands in a small tail behind her head. For once she didn’t care about the laziness of it. Stepping down to the final landing, she heard a groan and an object being tossed, thumping loudly on one of the tables.

“Bollocks,” the unmistakable voice of James Potter muttered.

She expected the sound of laughter and someone, Black most likely, demanding he pay up. Boys and their witless wagers. Instead, he was alone, face in his hands. At the sound of her approach, he snapped up quickly and turned his head around toward her.

Silently he nodded, extending a hand to offer her the chair adjacent to him.

Lily sat down dejectedly. The moments passed slowly. He’d called her here. Wasn’t he supposed to say something? Have some kind of plan to deal with the situation? She’d coped this afternoon – the first time in a long time she’d had something come to her so instinctually truth be told – but she’d never been a schemer.

“So,” she started, “shadowing other rounds…”

He shook his head as if wrestling with the idea anew. He exhaled sharply. “I think it’s the only way.”

“And I suppose you’ve got the answer you were lacking a few hours ago?” she asked dryly.

“Yeah,” he said simply.

“Well?”

“The lads’ll kill me…” he trailed off, letting out a nervous chuckle.

Lily snorted. “What do they care? I’m sure you’ve tipped them off enough already.”

“I haven’t,” he insisted suddenly. If she wasn’t mistaken though he was more…earnest…than defensive. She waited for the witty addition – _It’d spoil the fun_ – or some such nonsense. But the quip never came. “I wouldn’t,” he followed up tentatively.

She waited. It was still _his_ opening after all. As she did, she saw him scan the common room for other students. It was a feat he was remarkably quick at. And remarkably confident in, she appended, given that he didn’t give even the darkest corner or the staircase behind them a second glance.

Lily watched as he reached for his pocket. Merlin only knew what sort of contraption they’d cooked up for this occasion. It probably wouldn’t work with this little time to…she gasped.

“Where’d it go?”

The corners of his mouth perked up.

“That’s…” she protested, “that’s more than a Disillusionment Charm. It’s…how?”

After scanning the room again, he flipped his hand over, revealing a soft, almost velvety-looking fabric with a silvery-gray sheen. In an instant it was back in his robes, stuffed completely away.

James locked eyes with her immediately, fixing her with an oddly piercing stare. “You can’t tell them I showed you,” he said firmly. “Nobody else knows.”

“An invisibility cloak…” she muttered. “ _That’s_ how you’ve done it all these years.”

“Shh!” he hissed.

“You shouldn’t have that,” Lily warned.

“And we shouldn’t have Death Eaters in our classrooms. But we do.”

“So that’s it?” she asked. “That’s your secret?”

James nodded.

“You know you aren’t completely undetectable under there…”

“Of course I do. That’s why it takes two of us.”

She looked sideways at him, her eyes narrowed in skepticism. “How am I supposed to fit?”

“It’s special. All four of us have used it before. Come on. You know it’s perfect.”

Lily nodded. _That_ was a point she certainly couldn’t argue.

“You’re asking me to break the rules.”

“You already did once today – by your standards.”

“A white lie,” she defended, “quite a different thing than rollicking around the castle at night.”

“Rollicking?” James cocked an eyebrow. “Hardly. We’d be doing rounds.”

“When even _we’re_ supposed to be in bed. We can’t just break the rules because it’s convenient. We’ll lose authority faster that way than by admitting we don’t have any.”

James tutted. “That assumes we’ll get caught.”

She put her hands on her hips and stared at him.

He looked away for a moment and sighed before slowly meeting her gaze again.

“Look, Lily...earlier, you said you’d trust me–“

“And I did–“

“And we’re still alive aren’t we? The world’s still turning?”

She crossed her arms. “Debatable.”

James smirked. “How’s this – you can bail at any time.”

Lily eyed him warily. “Assuming for a moment that I _am_ on board, let’s get down to business.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Neither James nor Lily would really cooperate for this chapter, but hopefully with re-writing…and re-writing…and re-writing, the added length and the extra inching toward James/Lily worked well. As always I do have a few questions for you though. You might have guessed this chapter was a lot about trust – while Lily’s more hesitant, James is a man of big gestures – but do you think revealing the cloak was too much too soon? What do you think of how the pair played off each other in this chapter? Do you like the first taste of a thaw you got here?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	44. Under Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Pressure...this...quidditch, bloody war. And everybody's a critic.'

“What do you think it’ll be like?” Marlene asked.

“Hmm?”

The blonde shoved Lily playfully.

“Owling Lily Evans…” Marlene chuckled, pausing her folding briefly to throw her hair up in short ponytail. “Come on. We haven’t _really_ talked in ages – and Merlin knows you’re a more helpful sounding board than Alana.”

“What about me?” the third witch asked dully, scarcely looking up from the parchment in front of her.

Crossing the room in a hurry, Marlene slammed Alana’s book closed with a thud.

“Hey! I’m almost out of time!”

“That’s why you shouldn’t leave Stone’s homework until the last minute. I’ve been telling you,” Marlene grumbled.

Alana huffed. “Well excuse me if I didn’t plan on such heavy reading in _Defense_ of all classes.”

Lily glared at her across the room through narrowed eyes. “You don’t know what heavy is until you have him for N.E.W.T. level.”

“Cutting into your application time is he?” Marlene teased.

The redhead rolled her eyes.

“Honestly though, what do you think it’ll be like next year? Living on our own?”

“I’ll be at home,” Alana shrugged. “Then off to the Ministry or more likely helping mum. Easier than applications and interviews and I’m pretty decent at it.”

“Lily?”

She gazed out the window of their dormitory before emitting a sigh. “Well, hopefully I’ll be at the Academy. I don’t know. I suppose it wouldn’t be much different from here, except you have a single.”

Marlene covered her mouth in mock horror. “Look how easily she can dispense with us!”

“I don’t think so,” Alana said, bouncing up and enveloping her two friends in a tight hug. “She’ll miss us. I know she will. Especially when she’s going blind as some stuffy old wizard’s apprentice – sorting eye of newt and extracting flobberworm mucus.” The young witch pulled a face, sticking her tongue out in disgust.

“I’m applying for the Charms program…”

“Ugh. You can’t get her started on this, Alana…”

Suddenly, the trio’s conversation was interrupted by a loud bang from the direction of the common room. While Alana and Marlene exchanged quizzical glances, Lily immediately reached for her wand. Seeing her friends’ reaction and the tightness with which she was gripping the stick in her hand, Marlene put a hand on Lily’s shoulder.

“You alright?” she asked.

“What?” Lily started, shaking her head. “Oh,” she added, loosening her grip slightly as they moved for the stairs. “Fine. I guess it’s just all the news.”

Following her friends downstairs, she was unsurprised to see Sirius at the center of the problem. Standing atop a now overturned couch, he was holding a magazine up for all to see – and there were plenty assembled now to do so.

“Go on, open it!” Craig prodded.

“Shall I?” Black asked theatrically, gesturing again to the publication in his hand.

Lily squinted from her position across the room trying to make out what was so intriguing. Forcing herself forward through the small throng that had gathered to join her friends, she didn’t make it close enough before he’d pulled it down to high-five Peter, who had just finished righting the couch with his wand. She’d scarcely noticed the stumpy boy before he’d started lifting the piece of furniture, but he seemed in a fittingly exuberant mood for whatever occasion Black had elected to preside over.

“Hurry up, Sirius,” the young wizard hissed. “James’ll be back from lunch soon.”

“Pssh!” Black scoffed. “He wouldn’t begrudge me this.” Turning his attention back to the group of Gryffindors now assembled, he hoisted the magazine high again. “What do you think? Where do we fit?”

“Number one!” most of the male students yelled out in response. As Black waved them on, the answer became a chant, which he seemed to bask in, conducting the crowd with his fingers before casting a glance at his watch and finally moving to silence them.

“What’s all this about?” Lily whispered into Marlene’s ear in front of her.

The girl turned around briefly and rolled her eyes. “Quidditch. What else?”

As he sauntered away from the abbreviated tryout he’d held for reserves, James felt as high as he had in recent memory. Before today, he’d flown quite sparingly over the last couple of months and in the days leading up to this one, he’d been nagged by the worry that he’d come out the gate rusty or unfit. The verdict was still out as to the latter, but his completion percentage on his passes and dodges was encouraging. The ten goals he’d scored in forty-five minutes weren’t half bad either even if they were against idiots.

“Oi. Prongs…” Sirius said warningly as he pulled his hand from around James’s shoulder.

“What?”

Sirius simply jerked his head.

In front of them was a pair neither had spoken to since the start of term. In their defense, they hadn’t been approached either, but it was a known source of awkwardness in Gryffindor Tower at this point, all the more apparent in a place where such situations were few and far between.

“James!” a sharp voice called out.

He froze in place, covering his mouth with his hand and furrowing his brow.

“Want me to stay?” Sirius asked, locking eyes with him.

This time James shook his head sharply. As the opposing pair drew nearer, Sirius raised a hand, faked a smile, a moved on briskly, striding double-time up toward the castle.

“James,” the voice repeated, now with a slightly more breathless quality, “you can’t just avoid us all year.”

Running a hand through his hair, he turned his body to face the two witches fully. For a moment his eyes stayed fixed on the ground as if trying to pick out the most remarkable blade of grass alongside the path from the quidditch pitch.

Renee put her hands on her hips. “She was important to us too you know,” she said hotly.

He’d expected this eventually, but he still felt his mood instantly sour. “Obviously,” he shot back with a dismissive tone, “now what do you two want from me?”

Marie, for her part, took on a hurt look, while Renee’s eyes flared with anger. Sirius had mentioned she was a difficult personality – something James had never experienced before – but the glare gave his statement new meaning.

“We want to know what you know. She had to have said _something_ ,” Renee snapped.

“Yeah, well if she did you’re barking up the wrong tree for it.”

A hand caught him on the shoulder as he tried to move past them to the left. Looking up, James locked eyes with Marie. He hated how wide and hopeful they were beneath the pain. Shaking his head slightly, he took a step back.

“We’re having this conversation,” Renee chose that moment to chip in.

James pulled his glasses from his face abruptly, closing his eyes and pressing the bottom of his fingers against the side of his nose. Opening them again, he exhaled deeply. “Don’t you think I would’ve told you if there was anything to share?”

“ _Nothing?!_ ” Renee protested. “That’s bullshit.”

Reaching into the pocket of his robe, James threw a piece of parchment at her.

“You want to know what she said?” He thundered, chest heaving. “ _Fuck all_.”

“James–“ Renee started.

He sensed her attempt to walk back the initial sharp approach, but he couldn’t be bothered. She should’ve known better. He waited for her to read it before glaring at Marie and snatching the letter back from Renee’s hands before she could finish her sentence, shoving it away again and storming off to the castle.

Inside, James wanted to head straight for the showers, but was predictably flagged down instead by the familiar group of quidditch enthusiasts. In the past, their presence would’ve energized him, but now he only wanted them to go away. Sirius had linked up with Peter and Remus already and he immediately sought eye contact, certain they would recognize his need to be shepherded through on this occasion. But as the dozens assembled surged forward, all hollering and back-slapping their returning Captain, the chance was lost. He’d be lucky to make it up before dinner.

“James!” a third-year he couldn’t place called out.

He was jostled by another hand on his left arm as he pressed forward. “What’s the word? Who made it?”

For a time he tried to simply press through with nods and finger-wagging, but separated from his friends it became clear that his first impression had been correct. He was stuck. He looked down briefly and inhaled deeply. Raising his gaze once more, he flashed his trademark smirk at that third-year who was now standing directly in front of him and reached forward, ruffling the boy’s hair.

“Is that your question too?”

The boy nodded nervously.

“Hell, you couldn’t ask our top shelf beater over there?”

James put his arm around him in reassurance, urging the youngster forward.

“Come on,” he whispered as they started moving. “You’ll be the first to know everything if you stay close. Just don’t let anybody slow me down.”

Turning to his opposite side he saw that his pointed pause had given his friends the opportunity to close ranks, creating another buffer between James and the surrounding mob.

“Hey,” Sirius barked, breaking the silence, “James is bloody right. Everybody _always_ forgets the _vice_ -captain.”

“That’s because there _is_ no vice-captain,” Peter muttered, deliberately too loud.

The rotund wizard suddenly found himself whacked in the head by his friend’s open palm.

The crowd broke into laughter.

Remus winked at James and the mass started marching forward at a brisker pace as Sirius engaged with the lot on his side, pausing occasionally to scowl at Peter, while James busied himself with the third-year – Kent he now recalled. Just six more staircases and he’d be free again.

Glancing at her wrist again, Lily noticed that her time was almost up. As she looked around the nearly empty study area she sighed, shutting the book she’d been perusing with a heavy thud. She’d been poring over transfiguration texts daily and come no closer to more than an elementary answer to McGonagall’s question – the type of answer she was certain would be woefully inadequate. Stuffing the limited notes she’d compiled into her bag, she exchanged her customary nod with Madam Pince and left the library.

Taking a quick right she headed down the corridor that would take her to the staircase to the prefects’ bathroom. Halfway down the hallway, roughly thirty yards ahead of her was James, once again right on time. He appeared to be thumbing through something as he waited, though given the angle at which he held it and the distance, she couldn’t make out any specifics. Whatever it was, Potter didn’t appear to be terribly pleased with it, suddenly rolling it up with a grimace and sticking it into his robes.

“Potter,” she greeted, keeping her tone professional.

Rather than his typical irritating grin, she encountered a wan look to match the grimace she’d seen moments before, an uncharacteristic dullness penetrating even his eyes. “Hey, Evans,” he muttered.

Lily tried to brush off his demeanor. Merlin knew after her own frustrating evening it wasn’t going to be easy, but she hoped she’d be capable of preventing the mood that evening to become completely morose. Cocking her head slightly, she deliberately brightened. “So, what’s so special about this place that we had to meet here?”

“Nothing. Just figured you’d be coming from the library anyway. I remember you said you’d been hitting the transfiguration section almost every night last week.”

Despite herself, Lily felt oddly flattered by the rationale.

“Anyway,” Potter continued, “they’ll start in the dungeons for sure, so I figure it’ll give us time to plan and we can just wait on the tapestry staircase until we hear them go by. They won’t start anything until the later curfew if they’re planning to.”

“Well, that seems very logical, I suppose.”

After discussing the remainder of their plan for a while, Potter pulled the cloak out of his pocket.

Lily eyed it warily. “Isn’t it a little early for that?”

Her counterpart simply pointed to his ear and then back up the staircase. Listening closely, Lily could scarcely make out light footsteps above them, followed by voices.

“Come _on_ ,” a high-pitched one urged. “We _can’t_ lose points already. We never win as it is.”

“Well if you hadn’t broken my watch,” another argued.

“That doesn’t matter. What if a prefect catches us? Or a professor? My mum and dad’ll kill me if I get a letter home.”

They suddenly stopped for a moment. Looking back at Potter, Lily was surprised to find him putting the cloak away.

“What?” he mouthed silently.

Lily rolled her eyes and started up the staircase. If she had to be the villain alone, then so be it.

Emerging from behind the tapestry, she found the two female students arguing back and forth in heated whispers. They were Hufflepuffs, and obviously first-years given their size and the way they blanched when their eyes fell on Lily’s badge.

“Hello,” she began simply. Might as well give them the opportunity to explain.

“H-hi,” one offered weakly.

The other took up a defense more quickly. “We’re _really_ sorry. We just – we were exploring a little and my watch broke and so I lost track of time. We’re going back to our common room.”

“It’s already half eight,” Lily said firmly, shooting both a skeptical look.

“We’ve never been in trouble before,” the first broke in. “Never. And it won’t happen again. We promise.”

The Head Girl crossed her arms briefly and opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly found her mind traveling back to the other piece of the conversation she and James had overheard.

_…dad’ll kill me if I get a letter home._

Per the rules they were supposed to be punished. Doing otherwise would hardly set a firm precedent to encourage future compliance. But somehow, it reminded her of the time she’d caught Potter and Katie Wallenby…together. The words maybe. And the pleading expression on the first girl’s face.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud sniff and the second girl talking again. “It’ll be fine, Leslie. They probably don’t send letters just for curfew…” she said, hardly sounding certain.

Lily stooped low and placed a hand on the more distressed student’s shoulder. “Leslie is it?”

Leslie looked up. “Y-yes…”

“There’s not going to be any letter home alright?”

“T-there’s not?”

“No. There’s not.”

“How many points did we cost Hufflepuff?” asked the other, sounding discouraged.

“What’s your name?” Lily asked instead.

“Chelsea. Chelsea Dabbington.”

“And you’re both first years aren’t you?”

“Yes,” they both said glumly.

Lily smiled gently at both of them before standing and pulling out a piece of parchment. Scribbling quickly, she handed a separate scrap to each girl.

“B-but this is a hall pass,” said a stunned Chelsea.

“That’s right. Since you’re first years, I don’t _have_ to deduct points within the first four weeks. I can simply issue you a formal warning. It will be reported to your Head of House of course, but as long as there aren’t any further issues tonight, everything should be fine.”

Immediately the pair’s expressions brightened.

“There won’t be!” Chelsea promised.

“Definitely not!” echoed Leslie.

“Before you go,” Lily added with a friendly, but slightly warning glare, “I’m sure I can trust both of you not to say anything to your friends or housemates about what happened tonight?”

“Course!” both girls echoed before bolting off, passes in hand, for the Grand Staircase.

After they’d gone, Lily turned back, surprised to see Potter standing by the tapestry again. He smiled lightly. “That was a good thing, Evans.”

Lily nodded. “It seemed fair.”

“Yeah,” he replied idly, fiddling with his wand between his fingers.

“You seem…off…tonight,” she said tentatively. While she was confident the observation could be easily confirmed, she was still unsure of how to proceed. It went without saying that she and Potter weren’t close and past conversations when he seemed to be in a mood like this had been unpredictable to say the least. She eyed him closely, but the anger or agitation she’d been expecting never came. Instead, Potter’s shoulders sagged for a moment before he angled himself slightly more toward her, leaning against the wall.

He sighed. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

She glanced at her watch. They’d need to be listening on the staircase by nine. “Alright,” she ventured, meeting his gaze, “I’ll bite.”

“We really don’t have to talk about it.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Right. You know, you’re not the only guy I’ve ever talked to, Potter. I know that’s a line.”

“What?”

“That’s a line,” she repeated. “I hate it too. It’s something stupid all of you say when you want to share with someone, but want to pretend you’re too strong to need to.”

Potter’s expression didn’t change. “Pressure,” he offered. “This…” he added, gesturing to his Head Boy badge, “quidditch…bloody war. And everybody’s a critic.”

Lily wanted to express the wave of skepticism that surged through her, but stopped short. Thinking about herself in these kinds of situations, she realized she needed to listen.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next year either. I always thought…” he shook his head. “…but then today…and everything’s gone to shit. You know?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

Briefly her mind wandered to her increasing summer nervousness – a disquieting sensation that had grown in strength in tandem with the growth in violence and war-related headlines. She was thankful her nightmare hadn’t come back since she’d returned to Hogwarts. That was the last thing she wanted to have to explain to her friends.

“I don’t know if I can chase it anymore,” Potter continued. “Peter says I’m being stupid, but it just doesn’t feel right. Not now.”

“You’re not making sense.”

“Quidditch!” He whipped out the magazine she’d seen Black holding up earlier in the common room. “Just look.”

Suddenly, it was hurtling toward her through the air. She barely managed to react in time to catch it. Scanning the cover, she noticed almost immediately that it looked like a wizarding version of some of her father’s football magazines. Lily looked down the corridor at him with a puzzled expression.

Potter shook his head and waved for her to throw it back, which she promptly did.

“It’s the recruiting issue. Scouts write it. Real scouts. Talking about amateur players’ prospects.”

“Okay…”

“I’m in it.”

“And you don’t…feel right about playing quidditch?”

Potter snorted. “Yeah. Okay. You think it’s stupid too.”

“I never said that,” Lily said sharply. “I was asking if that’s what you meant.”

He looked down, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry.”

“Well, I don’t think it’s stupid,” she said. “I never thought I’d hear you, our utterly obsessive Quidditch Captain, ever say that, but I don’t think it’s stupid.”

“You must be the only one. Dad thinks I’m losing it. I heard him talking to Mum before term when I said I might not go for the next badge. He says I should stay as far away from the Ministry as I can.”

Lily’s eyes widened. “You want to work for the Ministry?”

“Maybe. Not really. I don’t know. I don’t like them, but it seems like they’re the only ones fighting him.”

Potter fell silent for a moment, rummaging through his pocket again. Lily was surprised at the feeling that had struck her – for the first time – something unequivocally, indisputably positive about the wizard that had been her archnemesis from almost day one. Before there had always been lingering questions associated with them. Was what she’d seen real? What was his angle? But now…the idea that he would give up what sounded like at least a probable future as a professional athlete to fight a war was inescapably impressive.

Suddenly he was next to her with the cloak. “I think I heard something. Faint, but it might be them. We’ve got to go.”

Lily nodded and stepped closer to him. She could feel the smallness of the distance now, the odd sensation that always seemed to accompany _almost_ touching someone.

Without another word, Potter swung the cloak into the air so that it landed over both of them.

Carefully, the pair set off together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was a challenge not just because of how busy I’ve been outside of writing, but also because of what I wanted to accomplish with it. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	45. Minor Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Nothing...I just thought you might’ve been more exhausted than usual after walking the castle with Evans last night.'

Lily had walked briskly to ensure that she arrived early to Potions the following day. After plenty of theoretical lectures, Slughorn was finally resurrecting the conclusion of that ridiculous introductory assignment. Needless to say, beating Black to the lesson was imperative. Otherwise there was no telling what he’d try to dump in next just to agitate her. She yawned as she entered the room, heading for the table they’d used before and dropping her bag to the floor with a sigh.

“Ahh! Lily!” Slughorn greeted her brightly.

“Hello, Professor,” she replied with a smile, hoping she’d managed to match his enthusiasm.

Apparently she hadn’t. “Hmm…are you feeling under the weather?” he asked, his face laced with concern.

Lily broadened her grin and straightened up. “No, not at all! I’m sorry, sir. I’m afraid my mind was wandering to the essay I was working on before breakfast. The one you gave us on the augmenting properties of insect ingredients…”

He immediately puffed up his chest with pride. “Getting started already? Well, you always have been one of my sharpest.” Slughorn’s eyes flicked to the door and back again hurriedly. “Between the two of us of course.”

“Of course, Professor. May I go ahead and retrieve my potion?”

“Yes, yes, certainly. As I’ve always said, proper preparation is the first step to brewing any potion.”

With that, the older wizard turned back toward his storeroom, tottering off to retrieve the ingredients the class would be adding later that day. By the time Lily reached her table once again other students were beginning to filter in, though thankfully with no sign of Black. Perhaps with a bit of luck he’d still be sleeping off whatever it was that had led him to be passed out on the couch in the common room when she and Potter had finally returned. Luckily for all concerned he’d obviously been asleep.

Alas, just as Slughorn was about to begin giving instructions at the front of the room, there was a thump next to her, rattling the cutting board and bowls she’d carefully laid out. Moving her head slightly in his direction, Lily shot Black a searing glare.

“Hmph, Evans. I know you would’ve missed me terribly.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

Out of her periphery she saw him recoil, clutching his heart as onlookers snickered amidst Slughorn’s oblivious droning. Lily rolled her eyes.

“I’ll go get the ingredients,” Black said, patting her on the back.

She seethed. That patronizing little…well, at least he’d left her with the potion on his own. He couldn’t sabotage it while she was occupied playing fetch. Turning her attention to the task at hand, Lily released the concoction from stasis to study the effects of his last improvisation more thoroughly. It didn’t _seem_ any worse for the wear.

Ahead of her she saw Potter and Black wasting time with idle banter. After roping a few of their classmates in for a few laughs however, Potter nudged his co-conspirator and tapped his wrist. Black mouthed something derisive, eliciting a punch to the shoulder from his best mate before both made their way back to begin work.

While Lily immediately set to work, Black produced a small vial from his pocket, carefully uncorking it and dumping what looked like smaller versions of fir needles onto the table in front of him.

“You’re not very surreptitious you know,” she pointed out.

The long-locked wizard shrugged. “Why should I be? I wasn’t going to add them without you.”

“Add _what_?”

“The Billywig stingers!” he said excitedly.

“We are _not_ adding _anything_ from a bloody Billywig!” she hissed.

Black chuckled. “Ooh! You’ve got a mouth on you after all. You know, James told us you’re a better liar than you let on too.”

“Excuse me?”

“The meeting with the prefects after that late-night skullduggery? Impressive.”

“How do you even know about–“

He snorted. “Come on, Evans. It’s _James_. And Remus…though I know you like to pretend he’s the picture of innocence. The one we just corrupted…”

“I know Remus plenty well enough to know he’s not innocent. But at least he has principles. Unlike you,” she added, dumping in one of the bowls she’d made and stirring it.

“Not too strong there, Red…”

Lily’s eyes narrowed. “ _Don’t_ call me that.”

He shrugged. “Alright. Figured I’d try it out at least once. Surprised it hasn’t come to me before now…anyway, should we add the stingers after the second mixing of ginger root or after the third addition of armadillo bile?”

“I told you we _aren’t_ adding that. The mucus was one thing–“

“It’s brilliant though! James got these fresh through the post! It’ll raise acuity!”

“More likely it’ll get someone high.”

“Well,” Black said, leaning in to whisper, “that _is_ what I told him.”

“So you’re not going to press this?”

Lily saw him steal a glance at Potter across the room. He seemed fully absorbed in his own batch of ingredients, grinding up the ginger root and…mixing it with the bile before introducing it? Her attention snapped back to her own table as Black swept the stingers onto the floor before raising a finger to his lips before adding the ginger root powder.

“Do you want me to take a turn stirring?”

“What?”

“I can take a turn,” Black offered. “Stirring…”

“Oh, sure. I suppose.”

Returning her gaze to Potter across the room, she saw him focusing intently on the small bowl in his hand, peering over the cauldron as he poured its contents into the heated mixture he was already brewing. For a moment she was stunned as the only change was the sudden rise of a few tendrils of steam. How could he always just–

POW!

Potter’s table jumped and a number of the students in the immediate vicinity screamed as his cauldron made a disturbing gurgling noise before it began emanating a rather…acrid…stench.

As a more disheveled looking James Potter than normal slumped back into his chair, Lily giggled despite herself, eventually turning away to laugh into her hand as Slughorn hurried – as much as he was capable – over to assist with her co-Head’s efforts at a swift cleanup. There was no question – that was plus one in her favor.

That evening after Remus and Peter headed off to make a run to the kitchens, Sirius decided the time had come to confront his friend.

“Rough day in Potions, eh Prongs?”

James threw up a hand from where he was reading on his bed. “It’s just the introductory potion. Virtually worthless. I’m just disappointed I didn’t get to use the stingers. Waste of sickles.”

“I thought you weren’t going to mix the root and bile first after all. We agreed it was bound to be too volatile. Did you forget?”

“Wh–“

“Perhaps on account of being a little extra…I don’t know… _tired_ this morning?”

Sirius immediately noticed his friend sit up and take note. Interesting.

“No. I just figured I wasn’t risking anybody else’s grade…why not go for it…”

“Right.”

“Hey,” James said sharply, “what are you on about?”

Sirius stood, turning around to face the wall instead of his friend. How should he initially broach this? What he’d seen was troubling enough. And then there was the other element that he was certain was at play. That was ultimately James’s business he supposed, but nevertheless affected the rest of them…

“ _What_ , Padfoot?”

Sirius whipped around. “Nothing,” he sniped. “I just thought you might’ve been more exhausted than usual after walking the castle with Evans last night.”

James’s blanch didn’t escape him. “Look, mate. That was–“

“Yeah…what was it? Because I thought we all…well, you and me anyway…were on the same page about that one.”

James shook his head. “It wasn’t anything. Certainly not what _you’re_ obviously thinking.”

Sirius crossed his arms and snorted. “Because you walk the castle at night with a witch for _so many_ different reasons.”

“I do when we’re Head Boy and Head Girl.”

“Assuming I actually buy that shite for even a second – which I _don’t_ – then why show her one of the most important pranking tools we have?”

“We needed it.”

“You’re the bloody Heads!”

“And we have to patrol according to the schedule.”

“And why the hell would you patrol _outside_ the schedule?”

James ran a hand through his hair. “Do you even remember what I shared with you? About what happened with Snape and his lot?”

“Of course I remember. Not that it was any shock to me.”

“Well guess who was patrolling last night _on_ schedule? Benton and Hassell.”

Sirius laughed. “And you expect me to believe that you and Evans spent the night following them around in the invisibility cloak?”

“Yeah,” James said. “I do.”

Sirius locked eyes with his friend, studying him. It made him uncomfortable. He’d never had to study James before. But staring back at him, the eldest Black brother saw his friend’s eyes were steady and firm. Could he really have? But _why_? And why hide it? They’d always shared _everything_. Finally, Sirius relented, his expression softening slightly.

“You’re serious about this?”

“Yes.”

“But we all just talked about it. You didn’t say anything about–“

“Because the less people know right now the better.”

“That’s never applied to us.”

“Yeah, well this is a war, Sirius. In our halls now too, remember? Suppose I had told you straight out – wouldn’t you have tried to figure a way to come? To help?”

“Of course I would. That’s the point.”

“No. It’s too soon for that.”

“How can you say that? They’re attacking first years. Holding secret meetings.”

“Because we don’t have the prefects behind us. And some of the purebloods are probably sympathetic to the Slytherins. The whole _point_ of what we’re doing is to outscheme them. Project the belief that we’re not around when the reality couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“You’d be stronger with us.”

“And we will be. But right now we need to carry the burden alone. So people trust _us_. And then they trust our positions. And _then_ they _all_ back us up.”

“You’re kidding yourself if you think you can get everybody…”

“And you’re kidding yourself if you think we could win this alone – the four of us.”

Sirius frowned, staring downward. As much as he hated to admit it there was a lot of truth in what James had said. Still…

“And you and Evans?”

“There is no ‘me and Evans.’ ”

Sirius chuckled, crossing the room and enveloping James in a hug. “Thank Merlin. I didn’t know what we were going to do otherwise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As far as the plot itself goes, I know some of you will probably be wanting to kill me after how last chapter ended, but diving in on their first night under the cloak would’ve been too easy after all the work you’ve done to get here wouldn’t it? Hopefully you’re seeing the signs though that we’re a lot closer. I’m not sure how many chapters it will be at this point, but don’t fret! It won’t be too long chronologically until our dynamic duo officially becomes a pair.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	46. White Knuckles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'It fits perfectly. Pretty, plays quidditch, and pureblood.'

Early the following Saturday, James found himself in the most unusual of places – the library. With tryouts later in the day and the subsequent celebration that night he wanted to get Slughorn’s essay out of the way quickly. Just like the wit-sharpening potion it was an irritating start. The subject matter was entirely pedestrian, but required voluminous research in order to ensure that what he eventually submitted was comprehensive enough to earn a high mark. Insect ingredients. He shook his head, still ruing the missed opportunity to use the Billywig stingers. Sirius and Remus had been right in the end. It would’ve been wiser to attempt only one change at a time. As he moved on to key ingredients under the letter “N” he was suddenly interrupted.

“Is this seat taken?” a smooth voice asked. Not waiting for a reply, its owner eased into the chair across from him, folding a pair of perfectly manicured hands in front of her.

James raised his attention to her face before quickly scanning the area. Except for the watchful gaze of Madam Pince, they were alone.

The girl across from him smirked. “Do you really think I want to be caught talking any more than you do?”

He reclined in his chair, scratching the back of his head. “Astrid. To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from a member of the most honorable house of Salazar Slytherin?”

“I prefer Ellie,” she said dully.

James frowned. “But everyone–“

She waved a hand dismissively. “Naturally. I can’t have it getting back to mother and father that I despise the hideous name they so carefully selected for me.”

“So you just…made up a new one?”

Ast– Ellie rolled her eyes. “My middle name’s Eleanor, though as given it’s boring as well.”

“Right,” James nodded. “Well then…I hate to be repetitive, but seeing as I’ve got an essay to write…”

“I want in on whatever you’re up to.”

“Excuse me?”

“I know you and Evans are up to something. Some kind of scheme, with the prefects. Everyone in Slytherin does. They’re furious. But I want in.”

James remained placid. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Ellie scoffed. “Not _all_ of us support him, you know.”

“Dangerous thing to say for someone in your house.” He rubbed his chin. “And even if it is true, you’d be one among dozens.”

She stared back. “I’m not the only one.”

“Bollocks…”

From across the room, Madam Pince cleared her throat loudly. Looking over his shoulder, James recognized the stern glare she’d given him and his friends more times than they could count. Especially when their old evening study sessions devolved into an amalgam of jokes and planning their next strike. It felt like a long time ago.

“It’s true.”

James sat up straight again, resting his head on his fist. A Slytherin insider could be invaluable to staying a step ahead of Snape and his plans to bring the darkness consuming the world outside these walls crashing down on them. But was _she_ the right one? Only a fifth-year and certainly not part of anyone’s inner circle that he was aware of. He clenched his teeth, pinching down on the inside of his lower lip, then shook his head.

“Look, Benton. We’re just trying to do our jobs. Whatever else you _think_ is going on – give up on it.”

The younger witch gazed back silently, as if measuring him. “I wasn’t born yesterday. You don’t trust me? Fine. I’ll prove you can. And when I do, it’d be worth your while to listen.”

Without another word, she stood up and stalked off, a determined look on her face.

Fortunately for James, no one else wandered into the library immediately afterward. Unfortunately, Benton’s proposal was nearly impossible to shake from his mind making returning to work in earnest a difficult task. Benton or no, he had to express his knowledge well.

But then there was no question that knowledge was critical to winning any war. And though the stakes in their battle were almost certainly less than life and death, in a larger sense they could prove more crucial to victory. As almost everyone who attended realized – though he couldn’t be entirely sure about some of the Ravenclaws – Hogwarts was much more than simply a school. For witches and wizards their age it was…everything really. Perhaps the most powerful agent of socialization in wizarding Britain, Ministry propaganda be damned.

It was a flaw in their strategy. There was no question their enemies were pushing their ideas wherever and whenever they could, whether by silver tongues or at the end of a wand. Likely the more extreme had already recruited popular and more diplomatic minions. Such demagoguery would be more difficult to police…

He glanced at his watch as his stomach rumbled. He scowled. Though he was rarely one to turn down a second helping, he’d already eaten a healthy breakfast and flying on a fresh meal was never a wise idea. Of course, there was the apple he’d snuck from the table resting in his bag…yes, just an apple wouldn’t hurt. It’d be gone by the time he got to the pitch.

Soaked in sweat and left behind with the last of the previously sizeable mass of candidates waiting in the locker room, James sunk himself into the surprisingly comfortable chair in the referee’s room. It was no wonder Madam Hooch was occasionally late starting a match – the woman had it made. Alas, the aspirants wouldn’t wait forever. It was time for the first victim, a talented sixth-year named Andrew Harris.

The young wizard hurried in immediately after James called him. He stayed seated while the boy stayed standing. James groaned inwardly. But something he’d read sprung forth unbidden into his mind. He nodded. Discipline was as crucial for the captain as it was for his team.

“Well,” he started, “I’ll just get straight to it with you. We can’t take you on.”

James watched as his housemate’s expression, which had initially brightened, suddenly soured, racing from shock to confusion to anger. Though Harris tried to hide it behind a nearly stoic expression once he’d settled, it was obvious that he was livid. If the preceding slip hadn’t been enough, the tightly clenched jaw gave him away.

Finally he spoke. “You’re bloody unbelievable! I was the best chaser out there! I scored the most goals, completed the most passes–“

“Second most on the last score actually,” James corrected. “Though it’s not about the stats.”

“What the hell should it be about? There’s a gaping hole next year. I was the top performer!”

“Performance isn’t everything.”

Harris turned away, rubbing his hands over his face. Whipping around he pointed a finger in James’s face. “You’re going to regret this. Somebody gets hurt? It’ll be a disaster. If it wouldn’t shame our house, I’d almost wish it on you.”

Leaning back slightly and resting his head on his hand, James waited for the outburst to subside. After another raft of directionless expletives, he almost wondered if it would. Finally, Harris composed himself, lifting his chin and squaring himself in front of James.

“Do I even get an explanation?” the boy spat.

“Everyone gets one. That’s why I handled things this way.”

Harris glared balefully at the wall behind him.

“You’re too old,” James said simply.

“What?”

“You’re too old,” he repeated. “Of course you squashed the opposition today. It was a tryout. I can’t hand a starting role to a seventh-year with no match experience.”

“Are you serious? That’s not even your team.”

“You’re right. And maybe someone will take you next–“

Harris shook his head, aiming his look of disgust at the floor this time. “Nobody takes on a seventh year.”

“Look, Andy,” James began, “I’m sorry about it. Hell, you think it wasn’t hard, seeing how you did today? It was _damn_ hard.” He caught himself. “And I know,” he added, “it’s worlds harder on you than me. But I have to set things up for us the best I can. Sirius, Maggie and I are gone next year. Davies, O’Shea, and Spurling after that. We can’t have that kind of turnover. Not and stay competitive.”

“It’s shit is what it is. And now you expect me to contain it until tonight. To just deal with it?”

James stood. “Yeah,” he said firmly. “I do.”

After Harris had stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him, James waited for the other wizard to clear out, listening as he banged things around like a rampaging bull while gathering his belongings. He wondered idly if Harris would tell Madam Hooch he’d appropriated her space to break the news. For the most part the woman was understanding off the pitch, but then last time he hadn’t stunk up her chair. Fishing his wand out of his folded school robes in the bag next to him, he waved it quickly over the fabric, causing a faint floral scent to emanate from it. He sniffed sharply. Hmm. Now that he considered it, flowers probably weren’t her taste.

Roughly an hour later, he sauntered into the Great Hall for dinner. It was little surprise he wasn’t the first Gryffindor here, but seeing only Peter in their usual place counted as unique.

“Mate,” James nodded, sitting down next to him.

Peter looked up quickly, jamming the parchment he’d had in front of him into a pocket. “Hello, James.”

“Why, how formal of you, Messr. Pettigrew…” James smirked, throwing an arm around the other boy and pulling him in for an awkward hug. “Sirius and Remus already prepping things?”

“No. They’ll be down. I think Sirius is still in the shower…”

James shook his head. “Still sniffing the air this year is he?”

“He said he was thinking about something.”

“Thinking about something?”

Peter nodded.

It was odd of Sirius to leave a final rundown of festivities this late, even if it would be a much more subdued than their typical soirees. “So…should we have music? It’d be easy enough to nick one of those ancient players.”

James noticed Peter’s eyes widen as the shorter boy looked past him and toward the entrance to the Great Hall. Turning to see what had drawn his friend’s attention, James immediately spotted Lilyapproaching them with pace. Peter cocked his head questioning whether they should continue before James shushed him with the wave of a hand.

“Potter,” she started, pausing to brush several errant strands of hair from her face, “do you have a minute?”

James shrugged. “Sure…Pete, just ahh…think on that for a bit and we’ll touch base after dinner, right?”

Before the boy could answer, James was up and off after Evans, who apparently had little intention of making whatever she wanted public. Following her around the corner toward the castle entrance, he nearly bowled into her she stopped so swiftly.

Instead of immediately talking however, she gazed off, seeming to stare at the stones that made up the castle wall as if they were a work of art. He tried to measure her mood despite only being able to see her in profile at the moment. Her mouth looked…even. And was she nibbling on the inside of her lip a bit? Suddenly she whipped her head back around to face, sighing in frustration as she brushed her hair aside again.

“Did Astrid Benton talk to you today?”

James furrowed his brow. “Yeah…in the library before tryouts. Why?”

“She tried to talk to me on the way to Arithmancy. Claimed it was her free period.”

“It is,” James said. “She was one of the ones to turn in her full schedule,” he followed up, noticing the surprised look on Evans’s face.

“Well, we’re going to have to figure something else out obviously. They’re onto us. Though I can’t figure out her angle…”

“Whoa…” James raised his hands. “You’re not suggesting stopping are you?”

“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.”

The wizard shook his head vigorously. “ _Absolutely_ not.”

“We’ll be caught. Then they’ll dig in…or worse.”

“They’re not going to catch us. Her backstory – I think she can help us. I think she wants to help us.”

“She’s a Slytherin, Potter. It’s about as likely as us meeting a mountain troll at the Black Lake.”

“I know what house she’s in. Still…she’s younger. And she doesn’t seem to have too many friends there. Half the time she’s sitting with the Ravenclaws.”

“You mean Richard Roberts? All that means is her partner’s _not_ a Slytherin.”

“Are they dating?”

“Not according to Alana.”

James rolled his eyes. “Well, she’d know.”

Her hands flew to her hips. “ _Excuse_ me?”

He raised his hands in surrender. “Hey…relax…I’m just saying she’s in tune with these things. Anyway, last she left me she was going to ‘prove herself’ or some such nonsense. We let her do that. Don’t give her anything in return. Not yet anyway. What do we really have to lose?”

She walked away, his eyes following as she gazed down the corridor swollen with an increasing number of students as the dinner rush began in earnest. Her head was tilted slightly and her mouth was flat, her eyes he noticed upon closer inspection were tracking down her nose. It was a strangely inward expression.

“Well…”

“I’m thinking,” she said, her voice carrying the same quickness as one of her sharp rebukes, but with a softer quality than he was accustomed to. Evans turned around, lifting her eyes to meet his. “That’s what they _want_. She’s the perfect mole.”

“It doesn’t fit. Suppose she’s telling the truth. She’s taking a damn big risk herself.”

“It fits _perfectly_. Pretty, plays quidditch, and pureblood.”

“So basically me.”

“You really believe in this, don’t you?”

He nodded.

“Why? Why her?”

“I have to believe they’re not all bad.”

Lily threw up her hands. “Alright. But you’re the lead on this,” she added, pointing her finger at him.

He shook his head. “There’s no lead. We’re in this together. You and me both.”

Two hours later the party for the reserves was in full swing. Tam Gregson and Penny Baker were center stage as music blared and conversation flowed around them. In typical fashion, Sirius was at the center of it all, hitting the highlights of the previous season – and the amusement of the tryouts by last year’s rookies – for all to hear. Normally, James would’ve been with him, but this year he found himself recessed, sitting on a windowsill while Peter and Remus played out their second game of Wizard’s Chess.

“Bishop takes Rook!” Peter declared proudly.

James glanced at the pair beside him. It wouldn’t be long before Remus was finished now. Alas, he was slowing lately. It should come as no surprise given the gibbous moon outside that had officially moved beyond waxing. Tomorrow would be a busy night. How Remus managed, he would never know.

On the opposite side of the room, Andy Harris had caught his best mate Arnold Baker between the large group in the center and the gloomy corner the would-be chaser had been occupying. James didn’t envy him either – Arnold was firmly mired between the proverbial rock and a hard place, desperate to celebrate his sister’s success in becoming Sirius’s heir apparent, but unable to let loose due to his friend having been cut.

“Good game,” Remus sighed.

The next moment, Peter was shaking James by the shoulder. “Aren’t you going to join in?”

“Dunno,” James shrugged. “It feels different this year.”

“You don’t want the update from the scouts?”

“They couldn’t possibly have anything new to say,” Remus said, yawning as he rose from his seat. He checked his watch. “Best I make my way down for a snack,” he added, jerking his head toward the portrait hole.

Peter looked on at the girls of the house dancing with a hopeful expression before James whacked him on the back of the head. “Go on,” James prodded. “You said yesterday you wanted the honors.”

The shorter boy turned back to Remus with an apologetic smile. “Right. Let’s go then.”

Struggling to smile, he put a hand on James’s to steady himself. “Don’t let the whole night go to waste in your head, mate. That’s what I’m here for.”

Standing himself, James nodded, hugging the pair in turn. “Stay safe,” he whispered. And they were off.

From the circle around Sirius, he could feel their eyes on him as they had been for much of the night. Despite their silence, Marie and Renee seemed unable to completely let things lie even after his outburst. But he wasn’t in the mood to talk. Both the younger and the more studious were beginning to step away now, either retreating to their rooms to rest or resume reading. Of course, making a point to avoid that pair simply took him into another dangerous group.

“Hi, James,” Priscilla Rigby cooed, toying with the ends of her shoulder length hair before posing coquettishly with her hands clasped behind her back.

“Hi, Priscilla,” he echoed, careful to reach for a snack on the table as he slid onto the couch so he could disguise his eye roll.

As giggling erupted behind him, he could make out the quintet of younger girls tittering about their momentary run-in with him. He shook his head.

Sirius punched him in the arm. “There’s a time you’d have delighted in that, even if you’d never partake,” he smirked.

“Yeah…there was a time.”

Silence filled the air between them before James stood.

“Oi, you lot!” Sirius bellowed. “Time for speeches!”

The crowd whooped loudly as everyone gathered back around, even those who’d previously been sneaking away surreptitiously. It was a tradition – for as long as anyone James knew could remember anyway – even McGonagall. When new members joined the team, whether first string or reserves, the current group always gave toasts to their success. The Captain was supposed to go either first or last, and gesturing to the empty space in front of him, James indicated his choice would be to close the festivities.

What followed was the same old tired lines – platitudes were often the order of the day with reserves – and even Sirius’s jokes seemed a bit off. Frankly, he was surprised it had held their interest, let alone those closest to the front, the aggrieved Andy Harris and one Lily Evans. As he stepped forward, James made it a point to quiet the throngs around him. He’d give it his best, but for Merlin’s sake, this year he was ready to get out of here. He shook his head at the thought. He’d dreamed of this moment – a Captain, a Champion – soaking up the adoration of his peers. Looking around it somehow felt hollow.

“Well, it’s been a helluva night…” James began. “I have to say I’ve been impressed by the talent those of you who _aren’t_ on the team displayed too. I honestly didn’t think a group of first-years could dispatch so many chocolate frogs–“ he paused to accommodate their chuckles “– or that there were so many hiding dance moves from us. I’m looking at you McKinnon,” he added, picking her out of the crowd. “Anyway, point is, everybody’s here. Gathered as a house for something that not everyone’s proud enough to celebrate – the next generation. Not just when these two start scoring and slamming, but the moment they earn the honor of wearing our colors on the pitch. I can tell you that’s what I had in mind when I saw these two flying around the pitch, working seamlessly with everyone you’ve already heard from tonight. The next generation. It’s been a wild two seasons as Captain so far. Heartbreaking and thrilling. Fascinating and at some times, particularly when we first walk into the locker room after a match, frightening. It’s been an even more incredible run as just a chaser…hard to believe this will be my fifth season tossing around a quaffle. But all those memories wouldn’t be possible without all of you. So…everybody’s already told you what they’re hoping for from Tam and Penny – mostly goals and gold – but what I want for them, is to have the same fantastic support from all of you this year and beyond. To the future, Lions! Let’s give them a roar!”

When the traditional cheer finally subsided, James expected the group to give way, but instead things more or less resumed even if the groups had sorted themselves a bit smaller now and the conversations were a little quieter. As he attempted to move out toward the portrait hole where he’d just spotted Peter, he was surprised again, this time to find the tall frame of Andy Harris standing in his way.

James rolled his eyes. “Come on, Harris. It’s been a good night. Get out of the way.”

“Good? You think so?”

“Yeah. I think people did a right good job ignoring your grousing off in the corner. Shame you couldn’t even let Arnold here properly celebrate his sister.”

Harris sniggered. “Well, there is _someone_ I’d like to celebrate,” he declared, drawing the attention of the still surrounding groups. “I appreciated your tribute to the fans, James. I really did. I just have to say, I hope this next generation you spoke of has enough to fill in some of the gaps that have been created.”

James’s face hardened.

“I’m sure they’ll be just fine.”

“I hope so. I only worry because the stands will be missing someone so special this year. Who really brought a lot of spunk and passion for the team and helped fire up a lot of the supporters…”

James felt Sirius behind him.

“Don’t,” the voice said.

“Frankly, I’m surprised given all the passion I’m sure she gave you that you couldn’t even be bothered to mention her name.”

Around him, James heard sharp intakes of breath and the heat of dozens of eyes on him.

“To Katie Wallenby,” Harris finished. “May the next generation be even better than the last.”

He knew as the heat rose to his head that Sirius was reaching for him. He knew as he moved he should stop. But the speech had set loose his anger and released the pressure that had been boiling inside since summer. And before he knew it there was white hot pain in his knuckles. A scream. And Harris was rolling on the ground, his face red.

He heard himself yelling as Sirius pulled him back, a moment too late, but didn’t know what precisely he’d said. The blood rushing to his head still pounded too loud and he could scarcely make out the shocked throngs dividing themselves between tending to Harris and cordoning him off from the fallen boy.

Eventually, James wrestled free of Sirius storming silently out of the common room and into the dark corridors alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, there you have it – another installment! I wrestled quite a bit with all the characters I wanted to deal with and scenes I wanted to make happen here, setting up future plot points and trying to allude to some things more subtly (but not so subtly that they’d be completely missed even by the most attentive among you). For that reason, making all the scenes work the way I wanted became something of a challenge after I was able to blitz (comparatively speaking) through the beginning of the chapter. Deciding the four or so scenes you’re going to use out of the eight to ten you have in mind can be truly vexing, but I’m glad I was finally able to conquer the beast.
> 
> I’m interested to know what you think of Astrid/Ellie’s proposal. What do you think her agenda is? Does she have one? Whose side are you on in the debate between James and Lily? And James’s decision and the fight that ensued – was he in the right or in the wrong as Captain? Justified in his reaction to the speech? How do you think the House – and the school – react to what happened? Do they?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	47. Standing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'He didn't sack me. Can't say I really understand it, but...yeah.'

Immediately after a sixth-year, Susan Davies, whose mother was a Healer had the wherewithal to stop the bleeding, Arnold Baker made for the portrait hole like a shot with Sirius immediately giving chase, the pair blazing past a still-bewildered Peter who was frozen just beside the entrance. As the murmuring around her threatened to rise into a dull roar, Lily shook off her stunned own stunned expression and sprang into action.

“Quiet!” she shouted. “It’s almost curfew. Somebody get Andrew to the hospital wing. And I’ll need a prefect with me to deal with Black and Baker.”

“It’s no use,” Renee piped up.

“It plenty well is. None of us needs the house losing any _more_ points tonight.”

Renee shook her head. “That’s not what I mean.”

“They’re headed for McGonagall,” Anders offered. “Hoping the first friend to get a word in will save their mate some trouble.”

“What?” Lily asked.

“You don’t get in enough trouble…” Marlene piped up, snickering afterward despite herself. “It’s standard practice – well, not so much when it’s a fight between housemates, but…it never really works anyway.”

“And Potter?” Lily looked around the room. Instead of answers this time though, she merely received shrugs. Some younger students began filtering out quietly, eager to avoid additional confrontation. The multitude of whispers began again as a small group escorted Andrew through the exit.

Following them down, Lily emerged in the darkness, producing her wand and muttering the standard incantation. The first thing illuminated was the swollen face of her injured housemate. Susan had managed to stop the bleeding but apparently wasn’t capable of much more. Potter’s punch had definitely broken it at the bridge. Twisting around, she began scanning the corridor for any sight of her missing co-Head.

“Best to stop looking,” Andrew called out, the venom still lacing every word. “We’ll have a new Head Boy by morning.”

Lily frowned. Though that could well be right, somebody needed to find him.

Meanwhile, the most likely candidate was stating his case to his Head of House.

“He practically _begged_ for it, Professor!” Sirius protested.

“By giving a speech?” Arnold spat.

“Bollocks! That was no bloody speech, it was a–“

“Silent! Both of you! There will be no shouting in my office. Now, Baker, you were explaining what happened.”

Sirius crossed his arms and scowled. It would serve the git right not to be able to call another match. Turning in a fellow Gryffindor over a fight. The fact Harris was his best mate was no excuse. Nobody in their year would sully their house with that kind of dishonor. And now James’s eligibility – maybe even his position on the team would probably be in jeopardy. He was gladder than ever that Harris had been dismissed. Selfish prick.

“Black? Is there anything you feel it’s necessary to add to Mr. Baker’s narration?”

Damn. He hadn’t been paying attention.

“Absolutely, Professor. You see, everything had been fine after James’s speech. People were happy, excited even, pretty rare these days as I’m sure you know. Anyway, you know the tradition, the Captain goes first or last, so James had gone last and that was the end of it ‘til Harris had to start mouthing off.”

McGonagall rolled her eyes. “Just the _facts_ , Mr. Black…”

He flashed a glare at Baker. “The point is, Harris provoked him.”

“By giving a speech?” she asked, echoing Baker’s words from earlier.

“Well that’s the point. He didn’t just give a speech. It was an insult. He did it on purpose, right in front of James to rile him up. You can ask anyone – they were disgusted too – the way he brought up the fact Katie Wallenby’s missing–“

“Mr. Baker?” McGonagall prodded.

Baker looked off into a corner. “Her absence might have come up…”

“Directly? To Potter?”

The boy nodded.

“My goodness. I don’t think I’ve been as ashamed of members of my own house since…nearly since I joined the faculty. Physical violence. Using the memory of one of our own who could very well be dead for all we know to inflict pain on another…And what were the pair of _you_ doing while your friends were embarrassing themselves?”

“I tried to reach out and hold him back!” Sirius insisted.

McGonagall waved her hand dismissively. “Well, obviously you didn’t quite manage did you? I assume Mr. Harris is in the hospital wing?”

“I…I’m not sure,” Baker mumbled. “I…well, I came here first.”

She exhaled deeply. “Well, I’m afraid it falls on you to relay that he’s cost his house thirty points. And he can expect to spend the next two weeks’ worth of evenings in my classroom for detention. You’re dismissed.”

Sirius remained silent, waiting for McGonagall’s next judgment.

“Where _is_ Mr. Potter? I don’t suppose he’s at Mr. Harris’s bedside at the moment.”

“He left before us, ma’am. Stormed off. I didn’t see where. Should I–“

“No. It’s of no consequence. His discipline will, I’m afraid, have to be handled by the Headmaster. Physical violence by the Head Boy against another student…What was he _thinking_?”

Frowning, Sirius met her gaze. “I don’t think he was, Professor.”

Upstairs, Lily had another choice to make between corridors. “Where would he _go_?” she groaned, exasperated. She’d expected to find him somewhere on the same floor, perhaps slumped against a wall, hopefully rethinking his absolute idiocy. Andrew’s actions disgusted her, granted, but to – and in front of everyone? She elected to wander forward, eventually reaching the Astronomy Tower. “Just as likely to find a snogging couple here,” she muttered. “Though I suppose I might as well check.”

Extinguishing her wand, she started up the steps slowly, dreading the long climb. The extra rounds were still taking their toll on her feet and thanks to the shoes she’d changed into for the party it had never been more apparent. Still, she supposed it could be worse – at least Hogwarts, even socially, didn’t demand its females attempt to totter around a castle in the heels her sister had to wear for work. Maybe it was the fact they were new…

As she started to round the final curve of the staircase, she caught a breathtaking view of the nearly-full moon still rising in the night sky. Views like this were impossible in her hometown, where the skeleton of the factory in the distance destroyed the view from her bedroom at this time of night. It was one more thing that made her prefer this place lately. Taking the last few steps slowly, a lonely figure came into view. It was unmistakably him – there truly was no taming that mop. It made it all the more absurd when he tried to make it messier.

“Potter?” she called.

He didn’t even turn around. “Yeah…”

“I came to look for you–“

“Clearly.”

She scowled. “People are concerned.”

“Maybe they should come find me then.”

Lily felt the heat rising. After she’d spent twenty bloody minutes scouring the seventh floor…she bit her tongue, preserving the silence. As she drew closer she noticed a certain sag to Potter’s shoulders. Even before, when he’d sulked around the castle his posture had almost always remained strong. Confident. If he weren’t standing, she imagined it would be nearly impossible to tell if he was even still breathing.

He sighed, dispelling the illusion. “What do you want?”

Lily searched herself. Why _was_ she here? It wasn’t as if _her_ finding him would accomplish anything. Remus made more sense before he’d snuck off to bed or wherever. Even Pettigrew had better odds of handling the situation.

“It…seemed like the right thing to do I guess.”

“Surprised you’re not pissed.”

And why _wasn’t_ she?

“Though I suppose it’ll probably make life easier. Bamford’s a better fit anyhow. Always has been.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Honestly?” His voice was laced with sarcasm. “I think we both know I won’t survive this.”

She shook her head. “You don’t know that. And anyway that’s not what I meant.”

Potter turned his head quickly, keeping his body sideways as he looked at her. “I meant you’re the same, you and him. Logical. Proper. Perfect.”

The words hit her strangely. Immediately, she felt defensive, but somehow proud. And nervous as a flush threatened her pale cheeks. It was late, but surely he’d see it in the moonlight.

“I’m not perfect…” she demurred.

He laughed, glancing back at the night sky. She thought he might turn away completely, but instead his eyes were back on hers before she could continue.

“Right. Top of the class. Not a single enemy to speak of. And,” his eyes went up and down in an obvious appraisal, “always…” he looked away “…put-together.” He shook his head. “Yeah…pretty much exactly like Bamford.”

“He can’t do your job,” she blurted.

“Was that actually a defense of me?”

“Yes,” she said.

“Well, I doubt Dumbledore will much agree with you. Like I said, it’s for the best.”

“Why?”

“I’m not fit for the job. And I don’t mean tonight. I mean…just forget it. Don’t feel like you need to grab a bat for me.”

“Come to bat?”

“Whatever.”

“Stop it,” she said, crossing her arms.

“I’m just…after everything…I’m too close to it.”

“Katie?”

He looked at the floor.

“Potter?”

He sniffed sharply. “Yeah?”

“I…I’m sorry.”

James closed his eyes. “You and me both.”

“Do you want–“

“No,” he said firmly. “Honestly, Evans…I just need to be alone.”

Dragged from his bed at the crack of dawn by a stern Professor McGonagall, James now found himself trudging up the last few steps of the spiral staircase that led to the Headmaster’s office. It was a walk to the gallows, that much was certain. Bamford would probably be there ready to accept his appointment. Smug bastard. And James? Well, someone had to be the first Head Boy ever ousted.

Reaching the landing however, he was surprised to find the door wide open. The only strong source of light at the moment came from a solitary candlestick on Dumbledore’s desk. Given the papers strewn about it frankly seemed something of a fire hazard, but perhaps a charm was in place to prevent such a disaster in the event it fell.

“Professor?”

No answer.

McGonagall had been quite clear that he was to meet Dumbledore here and quite firm about the time as well. It was such short notice he’d scarcely had time to make himself even slightly presentable. Slowly he made his way forward, stopping next to the chair across from the Headmaster’s. Whether he had to wait or not, sitting hardly seemed appropriate given the circumstances. A moment later he heard a door open to the side and the old wizard emerged, dressed in plain gray robes and a hat that looked more like a nightcap.

“Would you care for a spot of tea?” Dumbledore asked, smiling as if James’s presence at this hour, not to mention the reason for it, was entirely normal.

“No, thank you, Sir.”

“Very well. Can I convince you at least to take a seat?”

James looked down briefly before straightening up and shaking his head. “Respectfully, Sir, I think I’d rather stand for this.”

“I see.”

Dumbledore walked away for a moment, staring out the windows toward the mountains in the East where the sun was beginning to climb above the horizon. He picked up a teacup that had been resting on the window ledge and took a slow sip. Apparently he had been awake already.

“Sir…” James started, “I think I can save you some trouble.” Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the badge the older wizard had given him at the end of summer and dropped it onto the wooden desk. “You should take this back. I don’t deserve it.”

Dumbledore turned around, stroking his chin. “Interesting. I had wondered how long it would take for one of you to come back to that again.”

James snorted. So he’d had a similar conversation with Evans before.

“Did you know I was once Head Boy?”

“Not…definitively, no. Though I suppose I always assumed, what with you being Headmaster.”

“I will admit I was not in your position. I was, on the contrary, quite certain that _I_ deserved it. However, I quickly found that deserving something and excelling at it are two distinctly different matters. Not a lesson, I am sorry to say, that I learned in a classroom.”

“Professor, how can I be excelling as Head Boy? I punched one of my housemates. The whole school is going to know about it…”

“Perhaps…but tell me, Mr. Potter…has your history crippled you from leading your schoolmates thus far?”

“There are already a bunch of prefects who–“

Dumbledore wave a hand dismissively. “The prefects are not my immediate concern. I’m asking about your schoolmates.”

“I guess not. I mean…nobody’s really given me any trouble.”

“And I’m sure we can agree that there is worse information in your disciplinary record that happens to be common knowledge…”

“Yes, Sir, but–“

The older wizard raised a hand. “Mr. Potter.” He handed back the badge, waiting until James finally accepted it. “No leader is perfect. In fact, I would suggest that the only type of leader who believes himself to be is a poor one.”

James nodded.

“Leadership is, I think you will find, a journey that can end in many different destinations. The key to reaching yours is not avoiding failure, but acknowledging and overcoming it. Surely as our fearless Quidditch Captain, you have learned that much.”

“Respectfully Sir, I’m not even sure I’ve found the road yet.”

Dumbledore smiled, looking down at James over the top of his half-moon spectacles. “I can assure you, Mr. Potter, that you are already farther along the road than you think. Now, I am afraid I must take my leave to get properly dressed–”

“But, Professor…” James paused, staring down at the badge in his hand, “you really believe I have what it takes for this?”

Dumbledore nodded. “If I did not, I would never have given you that in the first place.”

“I just…how am I supposed to come back from this?”

“That is for you to determine. Though if it were me…” he winked, “I would always remember that most journeys worth making cannot be made alone. I do hope you will enjoy breakfast. I understand there will be both muffins and blueberry pancakes.”

As he trudged back down the staircase to the main corridor, James kept his eyes on his feet. He’d dodged a bullet. Somehow. But he’d have a mountain to climb ahead of him. He paused for a moment at the bottom, running a hand through his hair. What a mess. At least he’d be able to get out tonight and put it out of his head for a while.

Looking up he was surprised to see Lily rushing around the corner with a determined look on her face. When she saw him though, she stopped abruptly. He saw her eyes flick down slightly before meeting his. Suddenly she looked…worried? She tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling before sliding down the wall and sitting, legs pressed together and stuck out to the side. Merlin she had been odd lately.

James approached cautiously, leaning back against the wall next to her. “Lily. What can I do for you?”

She shook her head. “Unbelievable.”

“What – are you alright?”

“Fine. I’m fine.”

“Right…”

Lily tucked a few stray bangs behind her ear. “I just…I didn’t think he’d do it. I mean, he gave you the job didn’t he? And he has to be smarter than–“

“Hold up,” James said quickly, opening his hand to show her the badge was still his. “He didn’t sack me. Can’t say I really understand it, but…yeah.” He reaffixed the red and gold shield to his robes.

She immediately brightened. “He didn’t?”

James eyed her suspiciously. “No…”

“Thank God. I just thought…when I heard they dragged you out of bed and then you weren’t wearing it…”

“Why do you care about this so much?”

She turned and stared up at him. “Because.”

He chuckled. “Because?”

Lily glared for a moment before relenting. “Because this year…this job…I told myself when Dumbledore gave it to me that it would be easy…even with you as a liability.” She paused. “That sounded wrong. I mean, that’s what I thought before I won’t deny that, but…I can’t do it alone.”

“And you don’t think the guy who punched someone in the face is a liability?”

“No.”

“Yeah, well you’ll probably be the only one. You and Dumbledore I guess. The rest of them will never respect me. Aside from Maggie and Remus.”

“You’re wrong. You know it’s not just the punch everyone’s going to know about. They’ll know why. They’ll understand it.”

James shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I have to be better.”

“Perfect?” she challenged, her emerald eyes fixing on his.

A half-smile crossed his face. “Alright. That’s fair.”

She smiled back. “Look, James–“

“What?”

He saw the realization dawn on her. Hell, was she blushing?

“I was _going_ to say you don’t have to be perfect. At the start of the year I would’ve hated to admit it, but you’re doing a good job. Especially with everything you’ve been going through. And then the Slytherins…”

“We still need to talk about this Ellie situation.”

“Who?”

Looking around to check that the hall was clear, he squatted down and leaned in close. “Astrid Benton…”

Making no move to pull back, Lily laughed. “ _Ellie_?”

James frowned. “It’s what she told me she prefers. It’s after her middle name.”

She snickered again. “I’ve never heard anyone call her that…ever.”

“What’s she going to do? Hide from her painfully pureblood name in the dungeons?”

“Well now she’s changed her name she’s obviously not suspicious.”

James sighed. “If you think it’s too big a risk I’ll tell her we’ll pass. I trust you.”

If he wasn’t mistaken her cheeks were tinting pink again. “You do?”

“Yeah. I mean, I know I was kind of an arse last night, but…we’re partners. Hell, we’ve fought together and everything.”

“Sort it out at breakfast?”

James checked his watch. “Merlin I’m up too early.”

Lily rolled her eyes.

He reached a hand down to help her up. “Come on then. I hear it’s blueberry pancakes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, the first half of this chapter wrote itself pretty rapidly, but alas I went back and forth and back and forth on the latter components. As you may have gathered, we’re nearing the James/Lily time you’ve all been waiting for, so stay tuned!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	48. Prancing in the Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'We all know it makes him more intense after. It's a long trip and plenty of room to battle and run when we finally make it.'

Slouched in one of the comfortable armchairs near the portrait hole, James waited. Sirius sat across from him, but instead of engaging in their usual banter, his best mate was writing, his quill scratching over the parchment at a feverish pace. His writing was challenging to read on the best of days given its size and small spacing; it would be a wonder if this piece was at all decipherable.

James chuckled inwardly. After last year’s blowout with Shannon and the two ill-fated dates with a pair of Ravenclaws whose names he’d never actually gotten, few would’ve imagined Sirius even contemplating a serious relationship with anyone before graduating. Of course, things being as they were, that was still the case. Running a hand through his hair, James let his head drop to his chest. It was strange, with everything going on in their world, how peaceful the muggle one remained. Though the letters Sirius and Grace exchanged were always secreted away quickly, their contents treated like a matter of Ministry Security, James had been able to wheedle _some_ of the details out of his friend. From what he understood, Grace was fully immersed in another semester at university – the muggle equivalent of the magical academies around the world. Why someone would want to spend more years of their life cooped up in a classroom was beyond him, but he supposed since there were so many more of them than wizards, perhaps better credentials were more critical. Like N.E.W.T.s over O.W.L.s even. Finally the scratching stopped and Sirius folded the letter carefully before placing it into an envelope.

“Owlery’s the wrong way you know,” James joked, tossing a scrap of his own parchment across the table.

“Piss off,” Sirius snapped. “Where the hell’s Pete? It’s getting too close to curfew.”

Though their friend had always made it a habit to run to the kitchens for a quick snack before their adventures, over the last couple of years, his definition of quick had considerably slowed. James checked his watch. Fifteen ‘til curfew. It would be some time until the moon reached its apex and triggered Remus’s transformation, but he always needed them earlier. He shook his head. Peter knew better.

As if on cue, the shorter boy peeked his head inside the portrait hole and waved them on. James and Sirius surveyed the common room. Thankfully none of the Gryffindor prefects were around. The fact that James helped set the schedules guaranteed them a little extra time as well since he’d ensured inexperienced patrols were assigned those nights. Reaching inside his robes, he felt the familiar smooth fabric of his cloak. It paid to be ready just in case.

Once the trio had made it into the passage beneath the willow, Sirius let loose. “You’re an arse!” he bellowed. “How many cupcakes was it tonight you selfish little…” He shook his head.

Peter’s face soured. “I’m never that late when I eat. I had to run to the owlery.”

“The owlery? What the bloody hell for?”

“Mum wrote,” Peter muttered. “Hannah’s sick.”

“Again?” James frowned. “That’s been happening an awful lot hasn’t it?”

His question was met with only a shrug.

“Hey,” James stopped, “Do you need help or something? My dad could–“

“No. She’ll be fine. She always comes around.”

Frowning, James looked back across to Sirius finding similar concern in the other boy’s eyes. The long-haired wizard simply cocked his head toward Peter before moving forward again. Though there honestly weren’t many examples of it as far as that pair was concerned, there was definite commonality in their distaste for discussing their families.

“Honestly, Pete, there’s no–“

The stocky boy scowled. “I don’t want it, alright?”

James raised his hands. “Alright.”

Uncharacteristically they made the rest of the journey in silence, finally breaking it with a curt “after you” from Sirius as he reached the exit to the passage. Once it was safely closed behind them, the three friends followed the light piercing the darkness in front of them until they came upon the missing member of their quartet. Remus lay in bed, looking even more feeble than he had the night before. Though Sirius and Peter seemed to have come to terms with it long ago – “nature of the beast” – they joked privately, But after all this time it was still hard for James to see him like this.

Remus smiled weakly. James slipped a hand into his pocket, pulling a skinny package out and handing it over. “Chocolate?” he asked.

Remus nodded, triggering James to break off a piece and hand it down to him. According to his friend’s reports, though the source changed sometimes – and even the doses – each person had a particular food or memory that would calm them in times in immense stress or turmoil. Apparently roughly sixty-eight percent of those surveyed chose chocolate. Some surprise…

“So…” Remus ventured, “are you all going to just stand around all night or are you actually going to be of service?”

Sirius grabbed his heart and pretended to fall back against the wall. “I thought you’d _never_ ask, sir,” he said, faking a further swoon. “What _can_ I get you? Coffee black? A muffin perhaps? I’m sorry, sir, I’m just learning.” Though it was quickly cut off by a cough, the laugh had brightened Remus up considerably, and with him, the room.

“Shut up, Padfoot,” the sandy-haired boy said. “It’s too close for all that.”

“No need to show your teeth already,” Sirius said defensively. “Honest, is there anything we can do?”

Remus’s eyes implored James.

“Stop it,” James snapped. “He thinks it’s coming on.”

A few seconds later, his friend was on his side wretching his guts out. “All of it for the pain…at least they take quickly,” he said, spitting into the pot Madam Pomfrey had set out for him before Peter vanished the muck. “I thought you might be late…”

“Yeah,” James nodded, looking to his left.

Peter shrugged in resignation. “Hannah’s sick.”

“Again?” asked Remus.

A nod.

“You…” Remus paused and inhaled deeply, trying to fight back another wave of nausea. “You’ve got to get her out of there. I…ugh…I know y-your mum tries, but really.”

“It’s not at home, not really. The air’s terrible outside. Whenever she goes out she winds up short of breath.”

“I know that mess,” Sirius said darkly. “What?” he asked “Look…nobody told me Uncle Alphard lived in a dump! He liberated me sure…but had I known all he had was dusty old furniture and dustier rugs I would’ve just stayed with Prongs. I don’t know what he kept in there before me, but it smells dead awful.”

Remus chuckled before grimacing.

James shook his head.

“It’s strange to think we won’t be back here but a few more times,” Peter added.

Sirius threw an arm around the rotund boy. “ ‘s-alright Wormy. We’ll find a decent spot. Plenty of woods. Remote. No bloody centaurs roaming about.” He looked across the room to where James had sat himself on the end of the bed. “Any leads?”

James removed his glasses, rubbing his brow with the back of his hand before replacing them. “A few. They’re all construction required though. Only my parents have the galleons for better.” He shrugged. “Could be fulfilling. Get our hands dirty. Get away from it all.”

Remus eased himself up off the pillow to a halfway seated position. “What happened to quidditch?”

“I dunno Moony. Just seems…wrong somehow.” It was impossible for James to miss the exchange of glances around him. “Doesn’t it? They need help _now_. I mean it’s life. Quidditch is a bloody game.”

“ _The_ game,” Sirius said, throwing his hands in the air. “Have you even looked at the magazine?”

“You know I hate that issue. You know I don’t read it.”

“Yeah. I have to keep everybody off you about it. It’s tiring.”

Peter plopped down next to James. “You’re in the top ten you know…”

“Damnit Peter!”

“It’s stupid, Sirius! He should know. That’s crazy, throwing it all away.”

James stood, stepping between them. “Yeah and it’s not what we’re here for. We’re here for Moony. Bloody hell.”

Remus smirked, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. “To be honest I was rather enjoying it.” He paused. “Really though, James. You’ve given up on it?”

“Who knows,” he shrugged. “I want to do something that matters. With people that matter to me…” He looked at Remus. “ _For_ people who matter to me.”

Sirius laughed. “Been spending too much time ‘round Evans lately I think. You know I caught them gossiping together in the halls together. Like a pair of firsties.”

James shot a dark glare at his friend. “We weren’t _gossiping_. Merlin. Only one of us wears a skirt.” All he got back was a tongue stuck out in his direction. “Excuse me for discussing my responsibilities.”

A sigh from the other end of the bed told him this topic didn’t carry the same amusement value for Remus. James checked his watch again. Perhaps it was for the best. According to their charts this moon was expected to be particularly potent, so it should’ve come as little surprise that it was taking a harsher toll. Until the transformation was over, James hated this part of the nights they shared. Despite all his mates’ best efforts, Remus tended to fall into a fitful sleep. And it was worse when the change woke him. Under closer moons like this it was more agitating and disorienting. He tried once more to imagine awakening to the feeling of coarse hair emerging all over, pressure on your face as a snout forced its way out. Though he partially understood the sensation himself, it could never truly be the same because his shift was always in his own control.

“He’s out…” Peter muttered.

Sirius plucked a ratty, familiar piece of parchment out of his robes, carefully unfolding it and laying it out on the table near the door. He remembered when they’d first started making it. April of 1974 after just the third of their adventures. They hadn’t expected it to be much more challenging than the map of Hogwarts – just general landmarks and boundaries – an easy fix. But the truth had proved far more daunting. Fortunately they had Wormtail’s near-photographic memory to fall back on. By the end of the year it would likely prove the most detailed map to date of the Forbidden Forest, not that it could ever be published of course, but that wasn’t the point.

Sirius conjured himself a glass, filling it from Remus’s pitcher of water. “Still Hender’s Hill do you think?”

“Has to be,” James nodded. “Low as he was a minute ago we all know it makes him more intense after. It’s a long trip and plenty of room to battle and run when we finally make it.”

Glancing back and forth between each other, each nodded.

“Well,” Peter started, “I guess I’m gonna start on Slughorn’s essay. Anybody wanna join?”

Two hours and thirty-seven minutes later, the air outside the shack was incredibly crisp. The moon was swollen now, golden above the horizon and as the stars sparkled in the background, the silent night air was pierced by a deep howl. The shadow from whence it came took off along the edge of the lake at a torrid pace, followed by another, a black shaggy dog. The dog let out a more exuberant sound of his own before bolting still more swiftly after the first shape and letting loose a series of barks as he drew closer.

James followed behind more patiently, cognizant at each moment of the tiny paws clutching into the fur at the base of his neck. He pawed the ground with a hoof, snorting air loudly out of his recently enlarged nostrils. He gazed upward into the cloudless sky. Freedom. Giving his head a shake, he noted the paws held fast. He was off and running toward the same foothills that had attracted their friends.

Before long the pair arrived to find the werewolf and the dog waiting, the former squatted low on his haunches while the latter pawed almost disinterestedly at the air. Flicking his arm out quickly, Remus swatted it away. Sirius yipped just as James and Peter flew past.

Now much less prominent than Peter’s paws was the feeling of the cool air rushing around him as he ran, his hooves striking the ground hard as he pressed on over the increasingly rocky soil. The first time they’d made this trip it had concerned him; how would his form handle the rocky terrain? After all, he lacked arms for balance like Remus or a frame that was low the ground like Sirius. But instead of proving difficult, he was amazed at how effortlessly he’d made the trip. In the part that had worried him most – a steep ascent up thin soil with an increasing number of rocky patches – the stag within him had reacted almost instinctually, angling a hoof here, springing forward a bit harder there, until they’d made it. Finally, they were on Henders’ Hill.

The spot had attracted them most of all because the top was large and relatively flat, allowing plenty of earth to take hold. It was the perfect staging area for the game Peter had inartfully dubbed Animagus Tag. This time however, they paused first to survey the landscape behind them. James’s eyes tracked not to the prominent castle in the distance, but Hogsmeade below them. The town surprisingly tiny and dark, with only a few lights scattered in windows at The Three Broomsticks and above a few other establishments. Those others, James imagined, must be the shopkeepers trying to reconcile the day’s activities before turning in.

Sirius had taken up his typical tag position, growling playfully at them from across the hilltop. As James turned back however, he noticed Remus wandering farther upward. The stag lifted his leg, pounding the ground with his hoof. Sirius barked, but then followed his friend’s gaze. Jerking his head toward the werewolf, he lowered a shoulder to turn and trotted off after. James followed suit.

Though they all knew there was much more to the hills than what they had explored so far, their adventures had never taken them in this direction. Peter started squeaking in James’s ear, clearly antsy about deviating from the established plan. James snorted again to silence him. The decision was fair enough – they hadn’t turned a full moon into a full exploration mission for some time and Remus had never seemed terribly enthusiastic about the hill this time. Far from it, his acceptance had been almost begrudging.

James watched Remus and Sirius climbing ahead, side-by-side now as they explored new territory. He wanted to be there as they forged ahead, but the path Remus was taking had quickly become more treacherous than the one that had given him pause before, leading James to trudge onward more carefully even as his friends shrank in the distance. After about ten minutes, even with the full moon, the pair was out of sight. Peter scrabbled at his neck to urge him forward until, with an irritated grunt, James obliged.

Cresting the steep rise, James swiveled his head searching for the shapes of his friends in the shadows. Ahead was another incline, much less steep. They could’ve moved beyond it by now, but – they wouldn’t leave him that far behind would they? There had been nothing to the right either unless they’d gone for one of the small copses of trees the group had always ignored before. Suddenly, Peter was on his head and squeaking. James grunted. It was the one thing he still didn’t entirely enjoy about the transformations, the inability to speak. Peter nibbled on his left ear, quickly retreating as it twitched in annoyance. It was a signal to look in that direction. James smiled, as much as a stag could. Yes…they may have lacked words, but they still had their methods.

Looking closer, he found that there was a yawning hole in the rock in that direction. Given how dark it appeared…unbelievable. All this time and they’d been missing a bloody _cave_. His stomach rumbled and he bent low to nibble some grass. That was the part of his animagus form his parents hadn’t minded – a newfound affinity for greens – not that they understood the reason. Fortunately the path toward the cave was gentle as well. They _had_ to be there.

James awoke to stiffness in his back and rolling onto his side, remembered where he was. The cave had been too excellent an opportunity to pass up. Sleeping and waking in the wild. Though Peter had been hesitant, they’d settled on a space quite near the cave’s entrance so the earliest rays of light would reach them. The werewolf was understandably more concerned with being back into the Shack on time than he was afraid of any other animals. The consequences of missing that deadline would be dire for all of them. Of course, the rays of light weren’t to wake Remus – they were to wake the rest of them – and fortunately they’d succeeded.

James ran a hand through his hair as he pushed himself up to a seated position.

“Morning,” Peter said brightly.

“Merlin,” James grumbled. “How do you get up so early without being grumpy about it?”

Sirius groaned. “Probably because he doesn’t have to do the heavy lifting.”

“We’re not carrying him all the way down from here, Padfoot.”

“No? What did you have in mind, Prongs? A log roll?”

James frowned. “We’re just going to have to wake him.”

“Good luck…”

“We’ve done it before,” Peter offered. “Should I–“

“You’d better,” Sirius said. “It’s early, but the sky’s pretty bright. If Pomfrey shows up–“

“We know, we know,” Peter interrupted. “We’ll all be expelled.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I wanted to take this chapter to pull back the veil a bit on how I thought the Marauders dynamic played out when Remus underwent his transformation. I won’t deny that it was definitely a challenge dealing with it without words while they were in their Animagus (and werewolf) forms and I’m interested to know what you thought of it. The subsequent chapter (already in progress) will include (among other things) the return of Snape and his machinations. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	49. Past and Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh I’m sure it’s nothing too...we were just wondering when he became James.”

As Severus entered the Great Hall, he used his peripheral vision to, as always, scan the Gryffindor table. It didn’t take long to spot Lily, her fiery hair a sharp contrast to the uniform robe that the ends of it fell on. He expected to next see McKinnon or that idiot Hooper – a pair of blonde bumblers if ever there were one – but what he saw instead made him freeze. Sitting close – too close – was one person, not two. His fists clenched by his sides. Potter. That all-but-confirmed blood traitor and generally miserable excuse for a human being.

He moved on before his staring became obvious. What were they doing? Why? The fact that Potter had been made Head Boy was disgusting enough in itself and even if it did create “legitimate” reason for them to speak, Lily despised him. Why should it happen outside a prefects’ meeting or a professor’s office? Before sitting down he glanced back over his shoulder. Why were there no signs of that disdain?

Smoothing his robes under him, he sat next to Regulus. “Black.”

The boy greeted his sternness with an amused expression. “Snape.” He nodded. “You wanted to talk?”

“Yes. I’ve been impressed with your perceptiveness during our group discussions and felt that now was an opportunity to make you an offer.”

“What kind of offer?”

“The kind you’ve been dreaming of,” Severus smirked. “The one that will seal your place as the jewel of your noble family.”

“They…He…” he corrected himself, “wants me?”

“Yes. I’ve relayed to Lucius how helpful you’ve been. How committed to our cause. In turn…” Severus silenced himself as a group of tittering Ravenclaw girls walked by behind them, “he asked that I inquire whether you would be prepared to demonstrate that commitment in more… _permanent_ …ways.”

“Of course!”

The older boy frowned. “Quiet. The time is coming soon for you to earn that right. But until such time as we are given the directive to escalate things here, Lucius felt it critical that I help you improve your capabilities beyond the scope of the tutelage you’ve been receiving at home.”

“I can cast the Un–“

“Anyone with the proper mentality can cast a spell. What we will need to achieve our ends here is more insidious. Which is why he wants you to learn from me.”

Regulus nodded. “Potions.”

“Precisely. I understand Professor Slughorn has favored you with an invitation to one of his little dinner parties?”

“Yes.”

“Excellent. Then he trusts you implicitly. I will need you to use that trust to acquire the ingredients we’ll need in the future. But for now, simply permission to use his classroom.”

“An escape from prying eyes?”

Severus smiled. “Like I told Lucius. Perceptive.”

* * *

Books in hand, Lily made her way back down from Gryffindor Tower to the second floor. While James was undoubtedly right that she could have just borrowed from Marlene for the day instead of going all the way back up for them she’d made a lot of notes in the margins that she didn’t want left behind. Practice had probably developed the muscle memory for the adjustments, but she preferred to be certain when she performed the spells for McGonagall today.

She paused outside the door, scanning the halls. Lily breathed a sigh of relief. The corridors were still empty. Quickly, she opened it and stepped inside before shutting the door behind her. From the head of the classroom James and Ast – she shook her head – Ellie watched her approach.

“Hi!” she greeted.

“Evans,” James said curtly. “And you know Ellie, obviously.”

She flashed her counterpart a questioning glance at his reversion, but then nodded toward Ellie. “Right. So, you’ve got our attention. What do you want?”

“Like I told you both, I want to help.”

James eyed her skeptically. “Yeah. You said a bit more than that.”

“And it’s true.”

“Proof,” James said, tapping the table with his index finger. He turned to Lily, “Lock the door.”

“What?”

“Lock the door,” he repeated.

Suppressing the natural instinct to roll her eyes, she turned and fired the appropriate charm. As far as she was concerned locking the door posed as big a risk as leaving it open. All they needed was Filch or a professor to come by and there’d be stern questions asked about why three students had locked themselves inside. Granted Stone was supposedly away for the day on Ministry business, but as they’d already found out with Dumbledore, plans like that could change at a moment’s notice.

“You with us?” James prompted, hazel eyes meeting hers.

“Yes. Sorry, I was just…should we really lock it?”

Ellie groaned. “Of course we lock it. Better Filch or Stone catch us than the wrong student. If anyone even does…”

James nodded, flashing the Slytherin an approving smirk.

Lily fought back the heat rising to her cheeks.

“Anyway,” Ellie continued, “I figure you have the idea already to be suspicious of just about every Slytherin in school, so I wanted to give you something useful. Folks in other houses maybe you ought to be worried about…” She pushed a opened a scrap of parchment and laid it on the desk.

“Christine Moore?” Lily balked. “John Favors? They’re prefects.”

Ellie snorted. “So is Briony Burke.”

Lily looked at James, who instead of impressed, seemed annoyed. “This is bunk,” he said walking away toward the edge of the classroom. “You could give us literally any names you wanted to. Doesn’t mean shit.”

“He’s right,” Lily pressed. “How do you know they’re problems?”

The Slytherin crossed her arms. “I know Christine. I’ve gone on holiday with her – one of the few families _my_ parents would let me. Her mum’s side is all Slytherin going way back and her dad…let’s just say he’s not the assertive type. Favors? He’s been getting bullied by my housemates for years. And he’s a coward. So it’s an easy decision for him – look the other way and get left alone.”

“Okay. They’re not even a pair though.”

James frowned. “Still could be an issue. _Potentially_. They’re hardly going to make all their moves in the dark. After all the whole point is to be able to make them in the open.”

Lily watched as James began to pace, muttering to himself under his breath. Ellie’s eyes were passing back and forth between the two of them. Maybe she shouldn’t have pressed this. They could easily be getting played. James sat back down, gripping his chin tightly between his thumb and a bent index finger. He was serious again. It was strange…she found it hard to remember the last time he’d fully smiled.

“What else?”

“That’s all I’ve been able to confirm so far…”

James snorted, staring down the Slytherin in their midst.

“First neither of you were interested,” Ellie retorted, waving her hand at both of them. “And since I got the go ahead, I haven’t even had two days and I’ve already got two names.”

“Supposedly.” James turned his head toward Lily. For only the second time since they’d entered the room, she could see he’d let his guard down. He looked completely exhausted and his eyes, which normally twinkled with a mixture of confidence and mischief, were laced with uncertainty.

Lily gave him a half-smile, nodding her head toward Ellie.

“You might not want to believe it, but the names are good. The question is what we’re going to do about it.”

“ _We_ aren’t going to do anything about it,” Lily said. “James and I will take care of it.”

She felt two pairs of eyes on her now.

Ellie narrowed her eyes. “Take care of it?”

Lily ignored her snide remark, choosing instead to meet her co-Head’s gaze. Turning still further so the other witch couldn’t see her face clearly, she mouthed “Trust me.”

“I need to know what’s going on,” Ellie hissed. “I’m the one putting myself at risk. I have to eat with these people. Sleep with them…”

“We get it,” James said. “And you wouldn’t have come to us in the first place if you didn’t get it too. It hasn’t happened on the grounds yet – not really – but the war is here. And we can’t take the chance that we’re trusting the wrong person yet.”

The younger witch sighed and looked away, her shoulders slumping. After a few moments of silence she stood, smoothing her robes and straightening her prefect badge. “I understand.” Gathering her books from the table, she headed toward the door. Pausing, she looked back toward Lily and James. “I’ll get you more. Just…when enough checks out…if I need it…promise you’ll help me?”

James nodded.

Lily gave the girl an encouraging smile.

Together they answered: “We promise.”

* * *

The afternoon found Lily in the library, working away at another of Stone’s essays. In the past she would have regarded every one as an excellent opportunity to extend her lead over James whose lackadaisical approach to such theoretical exercises was nearly as famous as his practical prowess when it came to spellcasting.

Marlene and Alana had come in a full hour after they were supposed to meet and she’d only gotten the end of a tongue back when she’d shot a scowl in their direction. They were right of course – studying hardly counted as time together – but with three nights dedicated to rounds now instead of two…no…it was four now, following this morning’s revelations. She dropped her quill. She needed rest.

“Lily…” came Alana’s whisper.

Slowly Lily looked up.

“When do we get to hear about this morning?”

Lily cocked an eyebrow. “What about it?”

Marlene looked around carefully. “You and Potter turning up to breakfast together. _Again_. Everybody’s talking about it.”

Swallowing, Lily feigned disinterest. “I don’t see why,” she said, attempting to return to her work.

“No way,” Marlene hissed, snatching her friend’s inkwell before Lily could dip the quill back in.

Not to be left out, Alana pressed as well. “Honestly! There _has_ to be a story there. Did you two get into it again?”

Marlene snickered. “Of course they didn’t get into it. They haven’t done all year…” she trailed off, winking.

“Oh sod off,” Lily snapped, slightly louder than intended.

The shrill demand for silence came swiftly from Madam Pince, followed by her trademark glare, something the Head Girl had rarely received since the her first few trips into the stern old witch’s domain as a first year.

“Touchy are we?”

“I’m not touchy. There’s nothing to be touchy about.”

“Right.”

“There _isn’t_ ,” Lily insisted. “We had to meet early to discuss something. That’s it.”

The other girls exchanged glances.

“If you say so,” shrugged Alana. “All I know is Claire Taylor’s telling people you’ve been eyeballing him in Potions. And Andy’s hot because Anders told Arnold how you went to make sure Potter was alright and didn’t seem worried about him.”

“He doesn’t have anything to be hot about. He made an arse of himself and he knows it. I’m not saying James should’ve punched him–“

“And there’s _that_. Another thing you’ve done twice now,” Marlene muttered.

“What?”

The blonde waved a hand dismissively. “Oh I’m sure it’s nothing too,” she elbowed Alana. “We were just wondering when he became _James_.”

Lily snatched back her inkwell, capping it and grabbing the rest of her belongings.

“Don’t get sore!” Alana protested. “We’re only teasing! I mean, it’s obviously ridiculous…”

Marlene rolled her eyes. “Obviously…”

“Well, I don’t have time for it,” Lily huffed. “I have to finish this essay and another since I’ve got rounds tomorrow night. I don’t have time to be needled over nothing by my two best friends.”

“See you at dinner then?” Marlene called out.

Lily turned, flashed an obviously fake smile, and gave her friend a thumbs up before walking briskly past the scowling librarian.

As she descended the Grand Staircase, she wondered where the best place would be to find peace and quiet. The common room was still likely to be rife with chatter about James punching that idiot Harris. Judging by her friends’ comments the Great Hall wasn’t likely to be a peaceful place either. Though it was slightly chilly, that realistically left outside. She supposed the lake would be decent. The temperature could work to her advantage by warding off potential crowds. A simple charm should keep it from affecting her too badly.

She frowned. There was still the matter of all this gossip. The last time she’d been truly embroiled in it was a time she’d prefer – and indeed had spent a great deal of energy trying – to forget. Damn. She felt it all rushing back. It had been so long ago, but somehow, when she thought about it, it always felt like just yesterday.

 _As Lily walked down the empty corridor the whispers that had been bouncing around the Great Hall were bouncing around inside her head._ She’s still a fourth year, what did she expect from him? _Love. This was love wasn’t it?_ I feel so bad for her…do you think she really doesn’t know? _What?_ She has to. He basically felt Penny up right in front of her after the match. _His words: we’re just good friends. She nodded. That’s right. Just good friends._ I heard it’s ‘cause she won’t do enough. Little miss prim and proper. _The giggles_. She doesn’t even try to sneak a skirt-shortening charm. I heard it’s been six months and he still hasn’t seen her– _She shook her head. Ian wasn’t like that. He was a Ravenclaw. He liked her because she was smart, not because–_ It’s a shame really. She is pretty. It’s too bad she wastes it. _She’d gotten the parchment after that. Marlene had nicked it from Penny’s bag in the common room. She stopped to read it again._ Classroom 11. Tonight after curfew. _There were charms that could make the writing look like his. Maybe it was prank to get her caught out of bed._

 _She stuffed it back in her pocket. She reached the door. Should she open it? No. Not yet. First she’d have a listen. Tucking her long hair behind her ear on one side, she leaned gently against the old wood. Nothing. She squinted, then rebuked herself. That was a stupid habit. Like squinting would help her_ hear _better. She pressed a little harder. Still no. That was enough, right? There was nobody here. Just a prank._

 _But a whisper of her own got the better of her._ Maybe the charm isn’t to fake the writing. _The Imperturbable Charm. What if… She grasped the cold metal handle. She paused. Did she really want to know?_ Why else would you have come? Why else would you have risked this? _It wouldn’t budge. She shook her head. No._

“Alohamora,” _she whispered. She tried again._

_"Ian! I told you someone was here!”_

_Penny._

_"Well get on then!” he hissed._

_She heard clothes rustling. She scowled. She sniffed. She took a step forward._

_"Bloody hell…Lily, look…it’s not what you think…”_

_Penny dropped the shirt she’d been using to cover herself._

" _Oh, please, Ian. She’s not stupid. Well…not_ that _stupid anyway.”_

 _Lily felt her lip start to quiver. No. She couldn’t give them this._ _Penny grabbed his face and kissed him brazenly_.

 _“It’s alright, love. Like you were just saying,” Penny’s eyes burned into hers, “_ I _make you_ so _much happier.”_

_"Lily! Damnit, Penny don’t be a bitch.”_

_She ran. She was supposed to be a lion, but she turned and ran._

“Lily!”

Her mind suddenly snapped back to the present as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, are you alright?”

Of all the times…of course it was James.

“I called your name maybe…four times and you didn’t answer.”

“Sorry,” she said, looking down at her feet.

“It’s alright. I mean…if you’re alright.”

She straightened herself. “I’m fine. Just thinking about the essay for Defense.”

“Yeah…protective wards…captivating stuff. I know I’m constantly spacing out over them.”

Lily scowled.

“Hey,” he started, raising his hands, “no need to get cross. We’ve all got our secrets. Just know that I know you weren’t thinking about Stone’s stupid essay.”

"What are you doing out here anyway?”

James snorted, lifting up his broom. “I was going for a fly. You can come if you want. Sirius begged off.”

“I’m not really much of a flyer…”

“That’s okay. I could use the company to be honest. And it’s good for thinking…whatever the kind.”

“James, really…I appreciate it, it’s just…I really am trying to sort out this essay.”

“Come _on_ ,” he implored. “Live a little!”

And so it was that she found herself walking to the quidditch pitch with James Potter. Truly, it was something that before this year she’d never imagined doing in her darkest nightmares, but now somehow it felt… normal? As if it were something she’d always be up for even with an essay waiting. She shook her head as he rambled on about something or other to do with the Wimbourne Wasps. What was _wrong_ with her?

Different words raced back immediately to her mind. _Claire Taylor’s telling people you’ve been eyeballing him in Potions_. Merlin. She needed to concentrate on the conversation.

“Pretty brilliant, huh?”

“Oh absolutely,” she enthused.

James jerked to a stop. “Alright. What’s the problem?”

“What? I was agreeing with you!”

“Exactly. I’m guessing you don’t _really_ think too highly of our non-existent first-year chaser.”

Lily looked down at her feet again, twisting the heel of one of her shoes in the dirt. “Sorry. I’ve just got…there’s just a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“Just stupid rumors.”

Dear _God_ , why had she said that? James stared off toward the pitch in the distance, the sun giving his messy jet black hair an almost shiny quality.

“I didn’t know you got caught up in rumors these days. Kind of thought you set out to avoid them.”

She started walking again, pausing only to turn her head briefly until James followed.

“I do. Sometimes they just find you. You know how it is I’m sure.”

He shook his head. “Definitely.”

Thankfully he didn’t press on any more beyond that, contenting himself with walking shortly behind her. Did he have a clue the rumors she was talking about? If he did he wasn’t letting on, but… It only made her mind race faster. _Had_ she been eyeballing him in Potions? She certainly remembered more of what he did. The disaster with the Billywig stingers immediately sprang to mind. He’d sat down, a little grimy from the foul smoke and adorably resigned. _Adorably_?

Now she froze in her tracks. Oh, Merlin.

And then she found herself pitching forward headfirst into the dirt in front of her. She grimaced as her face slid against the ground before she rolled over and landed on her back.

“Ow!” she yelped as an unexpected weight thudded on top of her.

“Sorry!” James said, quickly easing himself up onto his hands. “You just stopped right in front of me and I…my foot caught the root trying to–” His hazel eyes scanned her face intently. “Are you okay?”

“F-fine,” she said.

He leaned closer, brushing the spot where her face had hit first with his thumb. “You sure?”

She eased herself up slightly on her forearms, their noses nearly touching. For some reason she felt her pulse quicken.

“Lily?”

More words echoed back, but they were scattered. _Potter was alright…You and Potter…James…together…_

“I…”

“I think you need to–“ He was completely focused on her. Then he pushed himself all the way up suddenly. James shook his head. “I think you need to get checked out.”

Lily blinked, accepting his outstretched hand so he could help her up. “I said I’m fine. Really.” She started walking again, turning briefly to flash him a smirk. “I thought you wanted to take me flying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another chapter in the books! Please let me know what you think of Astrid, the rumors swirling around James and Lily, and their near miss moment on the way to the pitch in a review!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and drop a review below!


	50. Drive. Shift. Reverse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You're not ready.'

Lily sighed as she sank onto her bed after the last class of the day. She’d already expected the week to be bad given all the extra rounds she and James had undertaken based on the names Ellie had given them, but when those were compounded with what had…no, she reminded herself, what had _almost_ happened…and the closeness under that damned cloak of his. It had been dreadful.

Of course it didn’t help that the number of classes they shared had somehow seemed to multiply. She supposed it owed to Stone and his sudden and untimely decision to hold his first round of practical exercises. It was just her luck the professor thought it a wise idea to use the pair of them as an example – Head Boy and Head Girl.

Maybe it was the times she’d caught him looking at her. She knew it was her own fault. Never addressing that afternoon. Going flying with him afterward. And so he seemed to search her face when their eyes did meet, as if he was looking for a sign from her about what it all meant. But how could she give one? It was hard for her to understand herself what she’d been thinking. Or–

“There she is!” Marlene chirped. “Told you we’d find her here.”

Lily gazed out the window. Her roommates hadn’t exactly helped either. The minute Maggie and Anders had seen them walk into the castle together, smiling and laughing, him sweaty, her hair windblown, it had been guaranteed to run rampant through the castle. It wasn’t so much a rumor mill anymore, capable of being slowed if the source material fell to just a trickle. No, after that it had become a constantly-burning furnace of speculation and innuendo. And it had plenty of tinder to keep it going.

“Shush,” Alana said. Lily could hear the thump as she swatted Marlene’s arm.

“She’s fine…”

“I don’t know…Lily?”

She deliberately kept herself facing away from them. “What?”

A hand on her back. Gentle. Alana. The entire bed sinking. An arm slung haphazardly over her shoulders. Marlene. She smiled tepidly.

“Really Lily, you okay?” the latter girl asked.

“No.” She cursed under her breath. How had she gotten here? “I don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything you know…” Alana prompted. “Let them talk. You’ve never cared before. Not for a long time.”

“Merlin, Alana!” Marlene snapped. “Now?”

“Yes, now,” Alana shot back.

“Don’t worry about it,” the red-haired witch answered. “I just…I don’t know what I was thinking. First it was an accident. And then I went flying after we–“ she felt both pairs of eyes boring into her. “Nothing happened,” she added hurriedly. “That’s why this is so…so…ridiculous.”

Marlene pounced. “Is it?”

Lily glared.

“What? I mean _something_ happened or you wouldn’t have cut yourself off.”

“Nothing happened!” As she turned her head the other way, Lily found Alana gazing softly at her, head tilted slightly in concern.

“You know…if it did…you could tell us. Me _and_ Marlene,” Alana stared pointedly at the other girl, “we’d support you no matter what. We’re your best friends…”

Lily swiveled her head.

“Really. You know by now I can get…aggressive…but it’s always for your own good. If Potter did anything, I don’t care if he’s Head Boy–“

The redhead shook her head fiercely. “He didn’t do anything. I mean, _I_ stopped and he just ran into me and…” She looked down, running a hand through her one side of her hair before bringing it back to rest on her forehead. “He ahh…landed on me and…I don’t know.”

Lily looked nervously at each of the girls beside her. How could she even express it in a way that made sense for her, that remotely aligned with the last six…or…whatever years at school.

“I almost kissed him,” she blurted. “It had to be the moment. You see it in movies so it’s like…burned into your head or something. It doesn’t make sense, given I can barely even stand him–“

Marlene snickered.

“Marlene!” Alana protested.

“Come on, Alana. She’s being honest, sort of, finally, and I am too.”

“What do you mean ‘sort of, finally’?” Lily huffed.

Marlene just looked at her for a moment. “I’ve known you for almost seven years now. And better than most, except maybe Alana. Look, Lily…everybody in this room knows that whole ‘I can’t stand him’ thing hasn’t _really_ been true for months – back last year even. You haven’t even said it in ages…or anything close to it. ‘Til now.”

“She does have a point there…”

“But _why_?”

“Because he’s got pretty much every trait you’re looking for,” Marlene said, shrugging as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“I’m sorry. _What_?” Lily half-shouted.

“Think about it,” Marlene added, “he’s smart, loyal, stands up for what he believes in…you can’t deny he’s funny, even if it irks you because he breaks the rules. Helps that he’s fit too I’ll bet,” she finished, winking.

Alana nodded. “Yeah, I don’t have anything to add to that.”

“What’d be so wrong with it?”

Lily stared at Alana as if she had two heads. “What would be _wrong_ with it?”

“She’s too damn proud,” Marlene laughed. “It’d be _such_ a climb down…I told you that was the obstacle last year–“

Lily shot off the bed. “Last year?! You two’ve been talking about me and Potter since _last year_?!”

“I thought he was James…”

“Shut up!” Lily glared at them. “Honestly?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Alright, it really started off as more of a joke…” Alana began.

Unbelievable. She was obviously just trying to placate her.

“It’s true,” Marlene shrugged. “I’m the one who took it seriously. I told her this would happen if he kept on…really cleaned up his act…I mean it was all assuming–“

“Assuming what?”

“Well…you’re not going to punch me, right?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Assuming things didn’t work out with Katie. That was Alana’s argument in the end. He was in love with her – a hundred percent.”

“You’re both mental…”

“Are we? _You’re_ just getting mad to take us off course. It’s like when I got the better of you that time in Charms.”

Lily turned away from them, walking toward the window she’d been staring out when they came in. Had it really come to this? After all this time…after being so careful once Ian had…she fancied _James_?

She spun back round. “Suppose I do…”

“Do what?”

Lily flicked her wand to lock the door. “Suppose I do…you know…fancy him. How do I – No. Forget it. It would _never_ work.”

“Oh it would absolutely work,” Marlene smirked. “Just kiss him. Not _almost_ , just do it this time. Maybe when you’re all alone on rounds…”

Alana reached across the bed and swatted the other blonde. “No!”

“Well what do _you_ recommend then?”

Alana frowned. “Umm…making him do the work? He’s the boy. Just be you, Lily, and…maybe take a few more flying lessons I suppose…”

Both her friends dissolved into laughter.

“You think this is _funny_? This is…this is _completely_ –“

“Mental?” Marlene asked, still snickering as she tried to compose herself.

“If he…it could blow up _incredibly_!” Lily hissed.

Her sharp-tongued friend picked at her fingernails. “Could maybe,” she shrugged, “but won’t.”

Quickly she clasped her hands, then unclasped them, studying the floor. She’d spent a week debating that day, that moment. She rubbed her fingers together. What it was really. What it meant. Eyes squeezed shut, Lily exhaled. She was so tired. She knew it now. Hell, she’d known it then really. Of course she had. That was why she couldn’t escape it. Why she hadn’t been able to drown out the rumors like almost every other wizard before.

Despite herself, for the briefest moment, she let a smile cross her face. She fancied James Potter.

She froze. What about _him_?

* * *

James peeked out of the door of one of the dankest broom closets in Hogwarts. Nothing. Damn. What if he came from the other direction? With all the dark detectors on the market these days you’d think _some_ wizard would’ve developed a spell to see through simple objects. He pulled it shut. What was holding him up? He _always_ came this way after Arithmancy let out. James ran a hand through his hair. Perhaps he should just keep the door cracked. Honestly, who would notice a cracked door?

Suddenly a sandy head shoved its way in, closely followed by the pointed end of a wand. Recognizing him, Remus flashed a wry grin before grabbing him by the robes and dragging him out into the corridor.

“That was absolutely terrible form, James. I dare say anyone could’ve spotted you…opening the door three, well, I suppose now it’s four times. You’re fortunate Snape stayed behind or you might’ve had a far nastier surprise.”

“Sod off. Snape never goes this way.”

“Stalking him now as well, are we?”

James grunted. Remus would probably have more of his own luck if he’d let his guard down like he was now more often. “No. It’s mission accomplished anyway though because it’s you I was looking for.”

“You don’t say…”

“Did Snape really stay behind?”

Remus paused, a mischievous twinkle entering his eye. “Why?”

James waved him off. “Not that. Though it’s good you’re feeling up to it. Maybe later. Anyway, did he?”

“No,” the other boy admitted. “I was the last to go today. I had some questions on–“

“Great. Let’s go then.”

“Alright…where are we going?”

James stopped, realizing he was several strides ahead of his friend already. “The classroom, obviously.”

Two right turns and locked door later, each member of the pair was across the empty room from the other, rows of desks and scraps of left-behind parchment between them. James scratched the back of his head. How to broach this? He looked over his shoulder at Remus. The idiot wouldn’t be wearing such a bemused expression if he knew what was coming.

“ _Muffliato_ ,” Remus said, flicking his wand lazily.

“What’s that for?”

“Should I cancel it? I’ve just come to assume after all these years that when I’m dragged away unexpectedly by you or Sirius that what follows is meant to be kept secret.”

James cocked his head slightly. “Sirius has done this too?”

Remus laughed. “Dozens of times. Though he tends to be more direct. Anyway–“

Direct then. “I think Lily almost kissed me the other day.”

The fading chuckle caught in the blond boy’s throat. He squinted. “Excuse me?”

“I think she almost kissed me. On the path to the quidditch pitch.”

“You think _she_ almost kissed _you_?”

“Yeah.”

The laugh lasted much longer this time. “And why would you think that?”

“I teased her about studying too much and she was going to go fly with me. Seemed a bit off really, even before that, but she stopped right in front of me and well,” James looked down briefly, “I umm…barged her over…we ended up on the ground, me on top and she leaned up for a moment.”

“Not to slap you?”

“No not to slap me,” James snapped. “She just…hung there for a moment.”

“And you think that means she was about to kiss you?”

James crossed his arms. “Yes.”

“Why? Maybe she was just surprised.”

“No.”

“How do you know?”

“I could just…feel it.”

“You could just feel it.”

James crossed his arms. “I’ve snogged a witch or two before, Moony. It’s just…that’s what it felt like…the moment right before…you know…”

“Did she go flying with you afterward?”

“Yeah. Acted like nothing happened after I stood up.”

He watched Remus who was stroking his chin idly, looking up toward the corner of the ceiling. Sensing another question wasn’t imminent he decided to move things along himself.

“Right and then this week, you know, she’s been…odd. Only wants to talk about things in Prefects’ meetings. Nearly silent on rounds and if not it’s always something or other about school. Usually Transfiguration and some bloody question McGonagall’s assigned her to prove she’s worthy of the Academy…as if she needs more proof–“

“It’s possible,” Remus shrugged.

“It’s _possible_? Seriously? That’s it?”

“What do you want me to say, James?”

“Well, I mean you talk to her all the time. I’ve seen you talking to her this week. More than ever.”

“And you think she’s talking to _me_ about _you_. Knowing how close we are. Knowing how close I am to Sirius. And Peter.” His eyes probed James’s. “Merlin, you think she’d actually talk to me about _that_? I’m pleased to say that’s never been a topic of our conversations.”

“Bugger!”

Remus’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“Rather more intense than I was expecting from you. Though…I’m assuming from it that you wish she had.”

“Had what?”

“Kissed you.”

James climbed over the top of a chair to sit down, pressing his hands together and resting his chin on his crossed thumbs. Did he – he did. Merlin, he should’ve just…

Remus nodded, his face turning serious as he crossed the room and sat down in front of James. “You need to be _absolutely_ sure about this. Are you?”

“What?”

“Absolutely sure.”

James met his friend’s gaze briefly before setting his forehead on the cold wood of the desk between them. “You know, it feels like we’ve had this conversation before.”

“It does.”

“Wasn’t that hard then…”

He heard the chair slide and Remus’s hand on his back. Almost a year ago today…

“I’ll make it easier. If Katie walked through that door,” he pointed “would you be giving Lily a second thought?”

James lifted his head to look askew at Remus. “ _That_ was supposed to make it easier?”

“Yes. Because given what happened with Andrew Harris I’d wager the answer’s no.”

“Forget about that. Harris was an arse. It shouldn’t have just been me who punched him. He deserved a jumping.”

“Back to my point?”

James didn’t answer.

“That’s what I thought,” Remus said, keeping himself in front of James as the other boy turned around. “You can’t just go haphazardly into something like this. Especially not with her – she’s got baggage of her own.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“I think you’re letting what you felt two years ago get in the way of dealing with letting go of Katie.”

“It’s not the same, Remus. I made a choice then and I can make one now. It’s just harder because–“

“Because you’re still in love with her. You think I don’t notice you still carrying around that note? The one you told her friends meant nothing to you? You think I don’t notice you reading it? Other people don’t give a shit what you’re reading and Peter and Sirius are…Peter and Sirius. But I know. And you and I both know you’re not ready for another relationship.”

James sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re right.”

Remus stared at him pointedly before leaving the room. “You’re not ready.”

* * *

As the crowd of students cavorted around him in the common room after another Gryffindor win, Lily watched a badly-bruised Sirius drag James up off the couch to stand alongside Colin Davies. She stared into her glass of pumpkin juice. Someone poked her in the back. She looked over her shoulder to find the encouraging smile of Maggie Brinkley.

“Come on, Lily! We won!”

Grabbing a glimmer of the warmth the other girl had expressed she stood and moved forward, following Maggie until she stepped up to join the rest of the team. Thankfully James kept his comments brief. She smiled. It had used to be more like…she rolled her eyes as Black retook control with his own Sonorous Charm… _that_.

“Well,” he started, “you all saw it. It was a hell of a tough match out there. Had a few hiccups, but you know who saved us…these two fine wizards. Our seeker – best at Hogwarts – and…” he threw an arm around James, reaching up to ruffle his hair and almost knocking his glasses off in the process “our Captain, our chaser – number nine prospect in the world, number one prospect in our hearts – James BLOODY Potter!”

A raucous cheer went up, the whooping and chanting so loud it was almost impossible to hear herself think. She sat back down. It was times like these she wished she could completely ignore the sound of drinks sloshing everywhere – fodder for liberal future use of the Scouring Charm – and just fully embrace it.

Instead she followed her usual script for the next two hours: circle the room socializing so that no one felt left out, congratulating the team, making mental notes of things…she saw Britt Lawson snogging Andrew Harris…and _people_ that would need fixing tomorrow. She glanced at the watch on her wrist. At least it was almost time for the last bit, sneaking upstairs while everyone was too busy to notice.

Then she heard the scuffling noises outside the portrait hole. Gazing over the other figures of authority she could make out in the crowd she realized as usual that the responsibility for policing things would fall to her and her alone.

As she stepped out into the hallway she heard another voice. “Enough!”

“James?”

“Yeah,” he jerked his head toward the Fat Lady. “I’ve got this under control. Go back and enjoy yourself.”

She eyed him carefully, arms outstretched between Anders Svensson and Arnold Baker.

“You can’t let him get away with this!” Anders yelled.

“Come on,” James barked. “He’s not well. It’s not like it meant anything to Maggie. Let it go!”

“I’m _fine_.“

“Sure you are. Just get upstairs Arnie. And steer clear of Maggie, alright?”

Arnold shook his head and stalked off.

James turned his attention back to Anders. “Do I need to walk you up there or can I trust it’s done?”

The blond wizard sighed. “Yeah. For you. I mean, you’d have lost it too though, right? Like with–“

James took a deep breath. “Yeah, Anders. Something like that.”

“Sorry, mate. That was a dumb thing to say.” He turned to Lily. “How many points then?”

She tossed up her hands. “I didn’t see anything… “

“Uhhh…okay…yeah! Brilliant.” Nodding curtly he headed back inside.

James shifted his gaze to Lily. “Stopped an actual fistfight there I think.”

"Surprised you held them back. You’ve got to be tired.”

“Yeah, well…Arnold’s not exactly the most imposing guy.”

“I know, but it looked like you must’ve thrown five hundred passes. Plus the goals.”

He chuckled. “Five hundred? You’ve got a lot to learn about quidditch. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were getting soft.”

She looked down, hoping the light blush she’d felt didn’t show in the dark. “I’m not getting soft. Just choosing my battles.”

“You call it whatever you like.”

“Whatever. You coming?” Lily asked, leaning her head toward the portrait.

James shook his head. “Not really in the mood.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Definitely not in the mood.”

“You know you can’t–“

“ _Not_ in the mood.”

Lily walked back inside after stopping for a moment to consider whether she should go force conversation with her co-Head. It was better left alone even he wasn’t necessarily. Remus hung on the fringes of the party while Britt became more…passionate…with Andrew.

“Rough night?” she asked, twisting her head in their direction.

“No. I don’t think I’m meant for all that.”

“Remus, you’re a great guy! I know I keep saying it, but I’ll help if you want. You deserve someone who cares about you.”

He sighed. “My friends care about me. I’ll be fine, Lily. I always am.”

“You’re not, but if you want to act tough about it that’s fine.”

Several moments passed in silence as I scanned the room. James still hadn’t come in and Sirius was in rare – or at least more spirited – form while Peter nervously tried to maintain conversation with some girl I didn’t really know. Maybe she was a transplant from another house, though it was odd she’d be unaccompanied if so.

“So,” Lily ventured, “How are things with James? He seems off tonight.”

His head whipped around. “James? He’s fine – or will be anyway.”

“I saw him outside. He didn’t really seem fine.”

“Look, Lily,” he said, exhaustion in his voice, “he’s dealing with a lot of things. Classes, quidditch, the future…I suppose you and I can drop the pretense…the war.“

“Those all sound like things everyone’s dealing with,” she huffed, crossing her arms. “I should be worried plenty more than he is about a bunch of blood purists tearing our country to shreds.”

He nodded. “That’s true. But his father is one of the more outspoken officials when it comes to these people. They’re gaining more and more power. Journalists and minor Ministry officials are already dying. They’d love nothing more than to get a high level official next.”

“You think his parents, in their mansion, are in more danger than mine?”

“I never said that…Look, they’d be mad to murder the patriarch of one of their own, but madness doesn’t seem to be off the table for any of them.”

“One of their own?”

“Purebloods. Deeply engrained in our history and institutions.”

“Of course,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s just a big change. He seemed to be better recently. He actually invited me of all people flying did you know?”

Remus watched her carefully as her expressions ebbed and flowed when she spoke about James. Puzzlement. Concern. A hint of happiness. “I heard. Sirius gave him quite a lot of stick for it.”

“Do you think – nevermind.”

“What were you going to ask?”

Marlene and Alana were waving Lily over to join them in the masses. “It’s nothing,” she said as they parted, “find a place to have some fun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, I know. You can’t believe what fell. I’m trying to make this natural while James deals with his shit for real, but the James/Lily is coming. Let me know what you think.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	51. A Roll of the Dice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'If only there were someone who was a talented enough Charms student...'
> 
> 'Don't you dare put a tracker on me.'

James sat tapping his quill on the dark table in front of him. It gave him easy lines of sight, nearly no chance of a back-side approach and, it being in a dark corner, would make it easier to pretend he was studying. Of course he’d had to wait an hour reading a stupid Transfiguration textbook while Ellie moved around carefully, making conversation with all the people she should, before she finally moved toward him. She stood in front of him and demanded the book.

“I need that book now,” she said, putting her hand out.

James looked past her and notice two Slytherins had come around the shelves. “What the hell do you need a N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration book for Benton?”

“I could pass my O.W.L. today. Why don’t you just give it to me?”

“Why don’t you just back the fuck up and mind your place?”

His eyes flashed at hers and she shoved the book back into his hands.

“Are they gone?”

“They’re gone. Now what’s so urgent?”

“They – and yes, I mean your best friend’s lot – are planning something. I’ve heard them muttering bits here and there before all of a sudden my ears go buzzing…”

James flicked his wand. “ _Muffliato_.”

“What’s–“

“That’s the spell. Snape’s spell. So nobody can hear what the grimy git’s up to. About the only useful thing the he’s cooked up over the years. Anyway, they’re planning something. I already knew that.”

“It’s going to happen sooner rather than later. I’m close enough to a few siblings who could probably get me in, but I have to do something myself to catch their attention.”

“And you’re telling me so that whoever’s on rounds that night _aren’t_ going to be an obstacle to your little stunt.”

“Exactly,” she said, flashing a bright smile as she leaned forward and tucked back her hair.

James knew what she was up to and pulled his eyes away quickly. “Don’t you just know how to butter a boy up?”

“That’s how I spent my summer. Mum’s been shopping me for marriage already.”

“Uh huh. Well, assuming I were to arrange a small gap in time, what the hell am I going to have to look past?”

“Does it matter? You have plausible deniability.”

“Not if Lily’s not with you on this. Which she must not be.”

“She doesn’t understand the details. You’re a strategist.”

“And what do I get out of this?

“Me. In their inner circle. Feeding you first-rate, straight-from-the-horse’s-mouth information.”

“Yeah…I’m still a skeptic.”

“How about the password to the common room? The one they’ve been changing with increasing regularity since _someone_ covered a bunch of my housemates in muck…”

“What’s the point?”

“I’m sure you could find out something useful. Something that might get dropped or left behind.”

James eyed her, pushing his tongue against his cheek as he cleared out the remnants of his study snack. “Maybe. Tell me what you’re doing first.”

“Just burning the Dark Mark into the main courtyard.”

“Just that, yeah?”

“It’ll be reversible. Terrifying, but reversible.”

He searched her face again. “Fine. When?”

“Friday. Not too soon, but not too distant.”

“So people wake up to it Saturday morning. You’ll give me the password Friday morning so I can be sure you don’t try and fuck me.”

“What’s to say you won’t fuck me then?”

James smirked as another Slytherin walked in the door and he shoved the book in Ellie’s direction. “Guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

* * *

Ellie woke with a start the following Saturday night as she heard an insistent rapping on her door. The other girls stirred but didn’t wake. Fortunately, she was closest to the exit to shut whoever this idiot was up. Somebody had probably smuggled Firewhiskey in – the Gryffindors weren’t alone in that skill – and were on the wrong floor.

“Stop it!” she hissed the door. “What do you want?”

“Open it,” said Briony, her matter-of-fact tone making clear she expected it to be done immediately.

Ellie rubbed her eyes as she unlocked the door and stepped outside. Briony was in full uniform, her hair and face perfectly made up like she was walking the halls between classes.

“Well,” the girl said, looking Ellie up and down, “you really do need the help, don’t you?”

“I didn’t expect to be woken up at eleven o’clock. Besides, I’ve never seen behind that mask of yours,” she snapped back.

Briony snorted in amusement. “Get decent and come on.”

Judging by her visitor’s attire, Ellie got into full dress herself, leaving her hair down and settling it with the green, silver, and white tartan headband she wore most of the time. “Happy?”

“Happy enough.” Briony slipped out of the common room and into the hall, casting a single, lengthy glance behind her. “Good. We’ve not been followed.”

Several minutes later, the two girls found themselves inside one of the Binns’s empty classroom. It was an easy place to meet after hours since they’d first been discovered. The ghosts met elsewhere late at night, needing no sleep or space to contain them.

“Took you long enough,” grumbled Avery.

Briony was visibly irritated. “She had to get herself set. I’m sorry I have to be the one to inform you that witches don’t all dress for your pleasure. But then I don’t suppose you’ve ever had one in your bed anyway…”

Avery lurched toward her before Drayton cut him off.

“Enough!” Severus shouted, finally joining the group from his perch by the window. They straightened up. “So. This is the one. Astrid is it?”

She nodded. “The one and only…”

“Yes well, despite your impressive artistry the other night, your carelessness was equally distinctive.”

Ellie bristled. “I hardly went into it blind.”

His eyes had a curious look that she couldn’t quite place. “Yes, I’m sure you didn’t. There were more than a few people who saw you carrying on with any number of people who could’ve given you the information you needed.”

“The rounds were by Christine and Nicollette. Moore can’t see beyond the edge of whatever book she’s reading and DuPre is just happy to be given marching orders. It was simple enough to wheedle their schedule out of them.”

Severus eyed her, trying to assess her words. “You do realize I’ve become quite accomplished at legilimency.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “And as good little pureblood, I’m quite accomplished at occlumency. Why don’t you get to why you woke me up for your…gathering.”

Severus chuckled and the others joined in, somewhat uncomfortably. “You’re here because you may be the type of person we need to dig even deeper into this school than we’d hoped for. A fifth year…imagine…”

“So you want a missionary?”

“No,” Severus snapped, “I want a mole. You’ve made yourself comfortable with these people – despite your allegiances – and it’s time you made it useful for something other than wand paintings.”

“Really? What’s in it for me?”

“We’re about to control this school,” Hemsworth boasted, “and those on the ground floor will be first in line to inherit the Earth.”

There was a menace to his amusement as Mulciber laughed. “Then you can have whatever you want. Whoever you want. It hasn’t escaped our notice you’ve been quite lonely…”

“Really? Speculation and hot dates? I’ll do _anything_!”

“You ride as pathetic a broom as a pureblood could still be seen on. We’ll make sure you have every tool you need to destroy your opponents. To showcase how skilled you truly are.”

Her parents hated quidditch. They’d given her a banged-up piece of trash they’d just painted black. “The 1700? Appetizing. And yet I could be expelled.”

“We’re offering far more than the pittance we want in return,” Briony said.

“That won’t be all, Briony,” Severus said, “I’ll expect you to perform a small task. Something more…damaging.”

“Damaging?”

“Yes. That’s why we’re here – emissaries of the Dark Lord – to spread chaos and fear and turn this place in on itself.”

“And while you hide in the shadows, I’m supposed to light the match?”

“If you want to be part of our movement, Benton, you’ll do as I say. Are we clear?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Good,” he answered, some of the intensity fading from his eyes, “then you’ll intimidate someone important. Then send them to Bryll so they can learn how best to atone for the error of their ways.”

* * *

The next day, James found himself in the common room waiting for Lily. The prefects’ meeting was five minutes away and she still wasn’t downstairs. After pacing the floor for a few minutes, he poked his head up the girls’ staircase. Life would be worlds easier if the founders of the damn school had realized there were perfectly innocent reasons for wizards to visit witches in their rooms.

“Trying for an upskirt, perv?” Marlene quipped as she came around the spiral staircase.

“Very funny. Where’s Lily?”

“Oh. She didn’t tell you? She’s feeling like–“

“I’m feeling perfect! Ready?”

James looked over at her as she practically dragged him out the portrait hole. “You do look pretty pale, are you sure–“

“I’m _fine_.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re fine.” James checked his watch as they approached the door. “Anything I need to know before we head in?”

Unfortunately, she was already gone and had, in mere moments, built up a head of steam as she strode to the front of the room. “You all know the first item on the agenda,” Lily said, leaning forward and pressing her knuckles into the table so hard they were as pale as her face. “The incident in the courtyard was bad enough and now we get reports of sixth and seventh years smuggling in all manner of restricted items _and_ moving them from room to room? It’s a recipe for disaster.”

“There’s only so much we can do…” said John, “…we can’t be down every hallway at the same time. They’ve probably sorted out our schedules.”

James’s eyes flicked to Ellie’s for a second, a disinterested sigh the only response.

“Whether they know your scheduled dates or not it doesn’t take an Auror to stop these things passing from the towers to the dungeons. Tuesday it was fireworks. Yesterday potions ingredients from Professor Slughorn’s stores.”

“We know what’s been going on,” Ellie said, throwing her hands in the air. “What are you telling us to do about it? What are _you_ doing about it?”

“I’m currently considering doubling up teams–“ A collective groan filled the classroom. “As a _temporary_ measure. Assignments would be rotated with neither knowing their pair until the night of.”

“We can barely balance studying as it is!” shouted Craig. “Now you want us to just cross our fingers that you’re not going to show up an hour before first-year curfew and tell us it’s our night?”

The protests rose further as other students agreed.

“There are social considerations too,” Bryll added. “Some of us don’t have the luxury of being single.”

James could see Lily’s temper rising. “Quiet down!” he yelled. “Now there’s not an immediate plan in place. These were matters for _debate_ , not a chance to beat anybody up.”

“Tell _her_ ,” Christine said, pointing at Lily, “It doesn’t seem like the two of you are on the same page.”

“Exactly,” Ellie piped up, “we can’t just have someone hovering by the exit to every house all the time.”

“Did I ask for your excuses?” James snapped.

Ellie shook her head, muttering something under her breath that her housemates seemed to find amusing.

“Shut _up_! All of you!” Lily thundered. “If you’ve so many ideas to contribute go right ahead.”

The room fell silent as James presented other options. No agreement was able to be reached so the matter was tabled until the next week. Students left the classroom muttering to each other in groups, doubtless complaining about he and Lily’s tyranny.

“I swear to Merlin that little piece of _shit_. To think that I–“

“Whoa,” James said, holding Lily by the shoulders. “There’s company.”

Lily didn’t stop breathing heavily. “I could rip all of their–“ James laughed. “You think this is funny?”

“No…I just don’t think I’ve seen you this angry since our spats in Osorio’s class.”

“It’s just the level of disrespect,” she said, “I’d like to see what they’d do in our positions.”

James shrugged. “They’re not in our positions though. It’s our job to take the heat. Just like quidditch losses – rare as they may be – are on me.”

“You’re right,” Lily answered, finally slipping out of James’s hands.

If he wasn’t mistaken her cheeks had looked a bit flushed as she retreated. He hadn’t really noticed he was still holding her then so maybe he thought that he ought to count himself lucky that she didn’t shove him away or something.

“So…what’s the rest of your day?”

“My day?” Lily asked. “Since when do you care about my day?”

James shrugged. “Probably around the same time it became my business.”

“It’s your business now? Maybe you should use a tracking charm.”

“I just don’t know _how_. If only there were someone who was a talented enough Charms student…”

“Don’t you dare put a tracker on me.”

“Then what’s the rest of your day?”

Lily sighed heavily. “A lot of the library. Marlene’s doing something mysterious and Alana is still in post-wedding decompression mode”

“It’s been like…three months.”

“Plan a wedding then.”

“Point taken.”

“Anyway, I’ll be on my own. Studying.”

“Sounds boring.”

“Well, everything can’t be a party,” she said.

“I suppose not. I always need breaks. Wizard’s Chess, Flying, Exploding Snap…”

“Or planning whatever ridiculous idea you and your lot have come up with next. I don’t understand how you can take the breaks you do. Flying? How do you ever get back on track after that?”

“Frees the mind, body, and spirit! And I do some of my best thinking in the shower.”

“Flying. Hmm. I guess it’s because it’s never been my forte.”

James turned to face her looking amused. “You know, if you want to go flying with me again you can just say so.”

“What?”

“You keep talking about flying. If you want to come you can just say so.”

“I was just thinking about it. Purely academic.”

“Okay Sluggy,” James said, rolling his eyes.

“ _Sluggy_?”

“You sound like Slughorn. Stands to reason with all the time you spend together.”

“Shove off. I’m going to the library,” she said, hefting up her books.

“Well, if you change your mind and want to go flying…”

“I won’t.”

“Okay.”

James decided to wander back to the common room rather than study. He couldn’t study agitated – at least not well – and right now he wanted to be around people instead of alone on his broom. As he took the long way to the tower he felt something behind him. It wasn’t magic – he could feel that much – but it came and went. He shifted his eyes to see if anyone was approaching. It was hard to tell without turning his head, but the feeling lingered as he approached the next landing and he ducked around the next corner, drawing his wand.

Ellie.

“Good enough performance?”

“Good enough to set Lily off.”

“Mission accomplished then.”

“Yeah, well, I’d rather not have to deal with it. What’s the payoff?”

“Tell her to get her shit together then. Things are only going to get worse.”

He took off his glasses for a moment, using his robe to wipe them clean. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

"Please. Even she isn’t that naïve.”

“So they’ll get worse. Worse how?”

“They want me to attack someone.”

“Someone?”

“They don’t care who. Just someone ‘important’. Technically they want me to ‘intimidate’ them, but I think it’s pretty clear how they expect me to do that.”

James furrowed his brow. “And if I were to arrange things so that we could avoid the violence?”

“You can’t do that,” Ellie scoffed. “If I were to do it to one of your friends it’d be too obvious we’re collaborating.”

“Tell me who it is. Now,” James threatened.

“It’s me taking the risk. I’ll keep that to myself.”

“No way. I need to know. Shit like this is how people start to crumble. I can’t have that.”

“And you know we can’t afford to get caught.” She paused. “I need more credibility.”

James sighed. “We need to figure out a solution to this problem. When does this have to happen?”

“The sooner the better. Bryll will be waiting.”

“Whoa…” James said raising a finger, “you never said _anything_ about a special delivery.”

“Slipped my mind.”

“Yeah, I bet it did.”

“It’s happening tomorrow. I’m not going to keep them waiting. Maybe Red will have some inventive scheme, not that she seems the type to have any such bone in her body.”

“Right. Well, number one, her name’s Lily and number two, she’s plenty inventive.”

“Tetchy…”

“Whatever, we don’t have time for that. Lily and I have rounds tomorrow night. Is there a way to put us between you and Hemsworth? The attack gets pulled off. Delivery sadly thwarted.”

“This needs to play out.”

James scowled. “Robertson. The Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain. He’s close to Moore – who you’ve told us is a sympathizer – and Moore’s a prefect so…wildfire, yeah?”

“You know that’s pitiful.”

“Just hit them with the logic of it. The others won’t see it. Snape will.”

Ellie shook her head. “This is a mistake.”

“It won’t be.”

* * *

“You sent her after Peter Robertson? That’s weak, James.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that already.”

“You should’ve listened,” Lily said, turning away and putting her hands on her hips. “You fucked this up.”

“You watch your tongue!”

“Like you care.”

“Hear me out. Robertson’s prominent thanks to quidditch. He’s closely tied to Moore, who’s a prefect. An attack on Robertson _is_ an attack on Moore, but we’ve got the advantage of – hopefully – not tainting the rest of our prefect pool. The school at large is clueless about where her loyalties lie. It’s perfect. It bleeds on students in multiple channels of the house. Snape’ll see it.”

“And _you_ know what he’ll see?”

“I know how he works with this stuff. He only ever showed you his good side.”

“I still can’t believe you’re just letting her do this. This is the opposite of what we’re supposed to be doing. If Dumbledore knew–“

“He’s got his own problems. That’s why he trusted _us_ with things back here. He knows we can’t stop everything before it happens.”

Lily waited for any news she could get, spending extra time in the Great Hall by day and forcing James to tread more slowly by night. She found herself noticing little details in portrait frames, small imperfections in the molding of lantern hangers and the lanterns themselves. Here and there she thought she heard the smallest scraping as if someone had suddenly stirred a pebble from its resting place? Her fixations, both auditory and visual, created a silence under the cloak. The silence made her tense. James tried to break the tension. James made her more tense.

“Hey,” he muttered, making another effort. “Hey!” he said, this time stopping in the middle of the hallway, nearly exposing them both.

“What the hell was that?” she snapped.

“Waking you the hell up!” he shot back. “Walking the whole school is boring when you’re alone.”

Lily frowned. “Fine.”

She refused to allow James to move any less cautiously, elongating their journey significantly, but at least there was idle chatter to fill the void. She wondered how he could be so cavalier. They’d already talked – if you could call the minute-long back-and-forth from earlier talking – about the situation, but the school was on a precipice. He had to know things were fragile and that the slightest injection of fear would on race them toward the atmosphere of panic and fear that the two of them were supposed to prevent. Perfection was impossible in such a deadly dance, but a mistake – a major one like who to trust – could cripple them. She should’ve made her position firmer, reminding him of the fact that the growing climate of fear outside the school had already put them on the defensive…but he probably wouldn’t have cared. James was a risk, but he was, she supposed, a risk she’d have to take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another chatty chapter, but the goal was obviously to get us into a little more meat of Snape’s movement and Ellie’s role in the story. The time has come for less dancing around the action in those corners and you’ll see the situation begin to progress in earnest going forward. The next chapter will certainly address some of that, but James and Lily will take a more central stage, even if I haven’t quite decided the circumstances surrounding that yet. Hopefully you’ll look forward to seeing more of them outside of rounds and scheming because I know I am.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	52. Attacking the Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I don't think so. You said friend.'

“We just beat the hides off Slytherin,” Sirius grumbled at breakfast as he chomped on an apple. “I’d think you could give everybody a bloody break, Prongs.”

“Last thing we need. We were sloppy, you said it yourself. It’s complacency.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Bringing out reserves to play?”

“Helps the team out for next year, too,” James said with a shrug.

Peter gulped down the rest of his orange juice. “Are you two done yet? I’d rather get back to…you know.”

“Don’t think you need much more of that,” Sirius chuckled. Their friend had been harassing them since the last Hogsmeade trip about sneaking back for another round at Honeyduke’s.

“I might not _need_ it, but I want it. The halls are so gloomy.”

“Fair point, that,” Remus said.

James shook his head as he popped the last of his muffin in his mouth. “al ‘oomy sco’y. Can’t ge’ ‘aught.”

Remus chuckled. “I’d ask you to repeat it, but sadly I know by now. That’s a fair point as well. Our Head Boy is on a bit of thin ice at the moment with no Dumbledore to protect him.”

“McGonagall’s not going to demote him,” Peter muttered.

James yawned, still tired from last night’s double-coverage. “Look who it is, Padfoot! Shannon!”

“I don’t need or want to have anything to do with Shannon O’Donnell. It’s still true what I told her to her face.”

“You’ve not been caught with any girls since…”

“I have my own reasons, Moony,” Sirius said with a scowl. “I need to go owl something anyway.”

“Who do you have to owl?” Peter asked.

Sirius threw up his hands. “Floo supply. Then the muggle bank. I’ve got bills to be paid.”

James decided to accompany him to avoid further questions. “I’ll go with you,” the messy-haired boy said as he stood, “I’ve got to send my letter to Mum anyway.”

The remaining pair laughed, Peter barely managing to keep from spitting his latest sip of juice out.

They all liked to make fun of James even after all these years because of his need to write his Mum. It was something he’d tried to conceal from them for as long as possible – the weekly letters home – because he knew exactly how it would play out. Back then they lacked their clever nicknames and James _loathed_ being called ‘Jamesie’ – which he inevitably was every time he set off to write ‘Mummy’. He snapped at them that it was her fault, demanding something from him monthly under threat of a Howler. Fortunately, her demands faded in recent years as she succumbed to the fact that James was only her little boy anymore in her own mind. Still, the threat remained if she didn’t get at least a handful during each term and James obliged, preferring to avoid the alternative. Truthfully, he didn’t need the threat anymore. There was a certain comfort in the correspondence – that some things could stay the same in the outside world even as everything else seemed to be falling apart – and so he sent them willingly despite being the butt of jokes about it.

The way Sirius had stalked off after the Shannon conversation was stupid though, and James finally caught up with him as he was reaching the fifth-floor staircase. Its rotation had left him waiting and James had managed to hop aboard before its turn past the fourth-floor connector enabling him to meet Sirius on the landing.

“You can’t go off like that, you know,” James said, “unless you want them to know.”

“I don’t want them to know,” Sirius snapped. “I didn’t even want _you_ to know, but here we are anyway.”

James shook his head. “I don’t see what the problem is. I mean, if we can all handle…you know…then I think Moony and Wormtail can handle the fact that you’re writing a muggle.”

“It’s not that she’s a muggle. You may not care about your letters, but I don’t want them scrutinizing my letters just because they’re to a girl.”

“But it’s so cute how shy you are about her!”

“See,” Sirius said, “ _see_?”

“And you’re still alive. How’s Grace anyway?”

Sirius shrugged. “Fine I suppose. Nothing awful’s happened at her school yet so we’ve just been talking about Stroud and classes. Boring stuff really.”

“I’m sure it’s all Stroud and classes,” James said, shooting his friend a skeptical glance. “You two wouldn’t still be writing if it were. And how _do_ you explain classes here anyway?”

“Easy, Prongs,” Sirius smirked, “I’m exploring chemistry and engineering.”

“Clever. But she’s a big deal, yeah?”

He shrugged. “I told her in my last I’d come ‘round for the holidays. She said she’ll be home and we can meet up.”

“Don’t play it off,” James said, “you actually like this girl.”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

“Bullshit. You do.”

“Leave it, Prongs. It’s just a couple of friends catching up at the holidays. You act like it’s a trip to the Ministry Ball.”

James chuckled. “Whatever you say, mate. It’ll probably come off easier for you if you just admit it now – everything – than get heckled about hiding it later.”

“Can’t you just shut up for once and be my cover?”

“I’m offended. Being your cover is one of the things I do best!”

“Right. Just like I’m great at chasing down a snitch.”

* * *

Even just a half-hour in, James was beginning to side with Sirius about the value of an impromptu scrimmage using the team’s so-called reserves. Harris naturally refused to play meaning the chasers were barely decent and well…God save the beaters.

His mate flew by to rub it in. “ _WASTE!_ ” Sirius yelled over the wind.

Still, at least he could see if any talent had developed between now and tryouts earlier in the year so that he could leave more detailed scouting reports behind for his successor. He had plenty of time to make mental notes as Maggie and Craig essentially handled their three opponents by themselves, with James only slotting in to toss up predictable passes and draw some attention to get his fellow chasers free for shots here and there. He probably could’ve physically taken–“

James was walloped from behind by a rogue bludger and he descended to bring himself more out of the line of fire. Unfortunately, the other back-up beater thought he’d be cute by smashing one down at him when James wasn’t paying attention and then one flew hard into James’s head, sending him spiraling to the grass.

“You dumb fuck!” Sirius yelled, ordering the team to circle up. “You bloodied his head Norton! He’s passed the hell out, right here on the pitch at own fucking practice. Do you see that Norton? Our best player? Our captain on the ground right there?”

The fourth-year kept apologizing profusely, failing to satisfy Sirius as he roused James.

James definitely roused, but to say he was recovered was a very much inaccurate description. After waving them off the pitch and calling a halt to proceedings, Sirius led a wobbly James to the locker room to put away his broom and dragged him up to the hospital wing. He was happy to get Maggie’s help after he made it about two thirds of the way up the hill. James was heavier as dead weight than Sirius had expected. Hopefully Pomfrey could sort him out. It was good luck they didn’t have a match for a while. He was probably just concussed, but it was impossible to say and this was one of the rare occasions that Sirius actually cared enough to make a personal pilgrimage to hell.

“My head… _fuck_ ,” James groaned, still sitting up he sat on the end of one of the beds.

“If you’d stop talking,” tutted Madam Pomfrey, “it would hurt significantly less.”

“Not supposed to sleep though, right?”

“I already told you, Mr. Potter, that is a muggle myth. How it crept into the mainstream of the wizarding world is beyond me.”

“It hurts when you talk,”

“More reason for you to _stop_ ,” she fired back.

James eased himself back onto the pillow. For someone who was supposed to be taking care of children she was remarkably harsh. He pinched his eyes shut. It hurt to form a thought. _Why_ had he thought a scrimmage had been a good idea? The lot of them were probably having a good laugh about it behind his back. Harris most of all, the twisted bastard.

“Oi! James!” shouted Peter.

“ _Quiet!_ Madam Pomfrey hissed, “or I’ll give you lot the boot.”

Despite receiving the same warning when he’d been there alone, Sirius had brought back the rest of the pack. A part of James frankly wanted them to leave so he could whine alone. Or not whine. Maybe Pomfrey was right.

“So, how you feeling mate?” Peter asked.

“Like I’d rather have been left to lay in agony on the pitch.”

“Don’t that potions for that?”

He scowled as best he could at the absent Matron. “Apparently they can only addle the mind, not un-shake it.” He’d wanted to yell, but almost instantaneously _didn’t_ want to. Norton. That incompetent little fuck ought to stay as far away from a pitch as possible. _Scouting Report: One Star – Idiot._

Remus simply sat down next to the bed. “Could be worse,” he said, offering a feeble grin.

“Yes. Yes, it could.” James closed his eyes. “Love all of you. Glad you came. But please fuck off because you’re destroying my head.”

“Not much to destroy, is there?” asked Sirius.

“Normally I’d punch you. But please leave.”

When he woke up, he blinked around, trying to figure out when the hell it was while also curling himself away from the bright light. “Time is it?” he mumbled.

“Half two,” a voice popped up.

“Bloody light,” he snapped, recoiling farther before the bed suddenly went dim. “Who’s there?”

“I am,” Lily said softly. “Sorry about your head.”

James rolled over. “Yeah. Me too.” A lengthy silence hung between them as James squinted up at her. “Why are you here by the way? Business or pleasure?”

She rolled her eyes. “Business and _concern_. More so concern,” she admitted.

“You’re concerned for me?”

“You slammed into the ground after being hit – twice – by a bludger. And then you were hospitalized. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t?”

“What?”

Lily paused, realizing quickly that he was not in fact suffering signs of his injury. “What kind of person would I be not to be concerned?”

His typical smirk, weak as it was at the moment, crept onto his face. “I don’t think so. You said friend.”

“Well,” she started shifting on her feet a bit, “…we’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Yes. I just didn’t expect you’d feel the same.”

“Why?”

“It’s mostly all school-saving cloak and dagger with the two of us. Except for the day we went flying.”

The pair both fell silent.

“Yeah, I guess…” Lily started, trying to reboot the conversation, “that was fun.”

“We could always do it again…” he offered.

“You’re laying in a hospital bed from flying!”

“Correction. I’m laying in a hospital bed because of quidditch. And more specifically because of an idiot fourth-year who can’t aim a bludger.”

“When the hell would we have the time?”

James winked. “Come on. I think you know I’m quite the expert at finding the time.”

“By breaking rules and skiving off classes.”

“Small things here and there. And rules are open to so _many_ interpretations.”

“ ‘Go to class’ is not open to interpretation. I still wonder how you’re Head Boy sometimes.”

“We’ll just skip lunch some time. Or breakfast. I can find you food later.”

“Ugh. I don’t want whatever spoiled leftovers you’ve got in your trunk.”

“That hurts. Besides, I have other ways. Rule-breaking ways, but ways. I wouldn’t even make you come along for such devious acts.”

Madam Pomfrey emerged from her office with a tray of potions. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that conversation, Mr. Potter. Perhaps it was merely a symptom of such a serious injury. How is your head? Better it seems from this evidence.”

“Still a bit of a dull ache.”

“Yes, I’d imagine so. It’s not the _most_ serious as these things go, but serious nevertheless. You may suffer from that, some difficulty balancing, perhaps some of the difficulty with light you’re experiencing, others don’t seem to have manifested, but you’re to report here for school-grade pain potions twice a day until I tell you otherwise.”

James gulped the one she offered down be watching her move on to a couple of ill classmates. “Sorry. We were talking about me getting you food.”

“It’s fine. Just…find me when you get discharged alright? I’ve got to work on that project for McGonagall right now.”

“The mysterious question?”

“Yeah.”

“Has there been–“

“Find me when you get discharged alright?”

* * *

Lily wasn’t quite sure how to treat her meeting with Ellie. James wasn’t going to be discharged until the last potion he’d taken wore off which meant it was down to her to meet with the girl after the attack on Peter Robertson. Frankly she was quite suspicious of the timing – James gets knocked out and the same night she launches her attack? Not only was she left literally a man down when trying to respond, it put Lily in James’s shoes for the rendezvous, something she wasn’t comfortable with given her lack of face-to-face background and decided inexperience with secrecy. It was one thing to creep around with James under an invisibility cloak. It was entirely different to be actively planning an operation instead of providing advisory opinions. She’d had to let the girl dictate the time and location which left her…afraid if she was honest.

The third-floor corridor was empty as promised – at least for now and as she rounded the corner she encountered a decidedly…different…Ellie. Gone was the headbanded girl who did the bare minimum to her appearance to fit in with her housemates and in her place was a headbanded girl, yes, but one impeccably made up with what looked to be freshly pressed clothes and an unquestionably shortened skirt.

Lily looked Ellie up and down before focusing her eyes directly on the other girl. Ellie now had her arms crossed as she tapped her foot.

“Finished?” Ellie asked.

“With what?”

“Please,” Ellie scoffed, “I don’t know if you’re surprised or jealous. Either way it doesn’t matter. We need to talk about Robertson.”

Lily shook her head, irritated, “Obviously. What about him?”

“I had my doubts, but he was a satisfactory mark. Things went over about as James expected, though Snape required a bit more of a sales pitch. I’m still not sure if he was genuinely doubtful or testing me though.”

“Great, great,” Lily said, “what _happened_?”

Ellie chuckled. “Don’t get your knickers in a twist. We don’t have anything to worry about at the moment.” The girl watched Lily, who was still incredibly tense, for a moment before shaking her head. “You better hope he gets back soon because you’re awful at this.”

“Just cut the bullshit and tell me where we stand.”

“Well, I’m not exactly ‘in’ as much as we’d hoped, but Snape is extremely suspicious. Which you probably already know. He’s still got an eye on everyone in that room except for Regulus Black.”

“Regulus Black?”

“He’s a charmer. But he’s also an inroad to his brother Sirius – or at least that’s how he sees it “

“Sirius? Is he joking?”

“No. They were very close. Still are in their own way supposedly.”

“I know Sirius, not as well as James, but he never even talks to his brother.”

“Maybe. Regardless, I know Snape believes there’s value there because he’s said as much.”

“Alright. I’ll pass along to James that we should be highly suspicious of his best friend.”

“The point is that I’m in the room. You two will have to deal with the Robertson fallout. Ravenclaws are putting together dossiers on potential perpetrators, all of whom are Slytherins obviously, which has them in exactly the frame of mind Snape wants them in.”

“Great. So they accomplished exactly what they wanted and all we got in return is a shadowy corner for you to stand in.”

“You rehab it. The rest of the students are still going to look to you two so unless you don’t handle it, you’re still in control. And if you don’t know the value of standing in the right shadowy corner then you need more help from Jamesie than I thought.”

“Jamesie?”

“Cute don’t you think?”

“He hates that.”

Ellie turned away and headed off in her own direction. “Does he?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I decided to put Lily on the back foot in this chapter, kind of reacting to events around her. James gets injured which she has to sort out personally and ‘professionally’ as Head Girl. Hopefully you liked the personal conversation with James post-concussion. Then of course as fallout from James’s injury, she’s left to deal with Ellie, whose attitude toward her quickly becomes evident. It won’t be the last time these two get into it about things and it though we don’t see the conversation itself here, you’ll see follow-up conversations about this stuff between James and Lily in the future.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	53. Trust Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Lily, Lily, Lily. Good thing you're both the Heads or people might get the wrong idea.'

James stood just off the pitch, hands in his pockets as he looked around at the team flying patterns above him. He was holding his broom, ready to kick off when he saw Sirius watching him. The fact that they were only working fitness and flight patterns was frustrating for him, especially so given that he was the one who had pushed a useless exercise on them that was costing them _real_ practice. He should be flying by now, but it was going on two weeks and Pomfrey still hadn’t cleared him. She was ridiculously over-protective, constantly telling him he couldn’t risk another bludger to the head at the moment, but more importantly a ground-contact injury.

Sirius was running practice for him, but even he couldn’t stop James from shouting out his instructions and displeasure from down below, going so far as to use the Sonorous Charm until his friend flew down and had what could only be described as a raging argument with him. Why the hell was he standing anyway? He couldn’t do shit. Stupid. Laying his broom down beside him, he dropped himself to the ground with a thud.

“Daydreaming?” came a voice from behind him.

It couldn’t be. Not here. But he turned and surely it was – Lily – her red hair perfectly straightened, making her way down to him. She was smiling, but he could not deal with business right now. He sighed.

“No answer?” she asked, sitting down next to him.

“Trying to be the captain of this bunch. Sirius put me on the sidelines. Bloody Pomfrey wouldn’t clear me for this week.”

“Remus said you were acting all morose.”

“Well where the hell is _he_?”

“Busy. I came instead.” James flashed a skeptical look, which she quickly returned. “I’d rather not walk the halls with someone bemoaning his separation from the beautiful game.”

“Are you mocking my sport?”

“What if I were? What are you going to do about it?” she laughed.

James tried to scowl, but couldn’t quite manage it. “That’s just cruel. I don’t have anything of yours to mock…”

“I’m sure you can come up with something. I can’t fly to save my life for starters. I’m a pale ginger–“

James swung his head toward her while she was looking skyward, trying to find faults to cheer him up. “You’re not pale,” he muttered.

She looked down at him. “What?”

“I said you’re not pale. You’re…fair.”

“Is that a compliment?” James shrugged. “You complimented me! Well I’m glad there’s someone who doesn’t think I’m a ghost.”

“The ghosts are a little blue…and you _are_ a ginger.”

Lily leaned over, bumping him with her shoulder as her head leaned toward his neck. She shrunk away as he bumped her back even though she was still laughing. It was odd and incongruous. Lily wasn’t incongruous.

James checked his watch. “Let’s go in,” he said.

“But you’re–“

“Nothing to see really. Just fitness stuff.”

“Then why’d you come?”

“Missed the feeling.”

* * *

Ellie stood in front of the mirror, making sure she was perfectly set. Getting up earlier to play Imogen was a nuisance and she didn’t appreciate the eyes of her housemates – not to mention her schoolmates at large – watching her all of a sudden. It was odd to change things and actively wear the type of things that her mum always sent for her. Imogen made sure there were pictures to send home, mostly of the two of them together, but a few with the three female prefects, which brought Briony into the equation.

“Are you ready, Astrid?” Imogen asked.

Before Imogen’s attempts to completely make over Ellie’s old appearance and even her personality, she’d largely been able to ignore the bulk of Slytherin socialization, preferring to spend her free time with quieter people a few of whom she found in Ravenclaw. Now that she’d been forced to cast them aside. Ellie’s life wasn’t just major occasions or post-match parties anymore – it was everything, every time, nearly every day.

“Of course,” she said brightly, grabbing her books and heading off to class with her new mentor. They didn’t break from one another until the last possible moment, departing with a ‘see you later’ that Ellie despised.

It didn’t take many of their midnight meetings for Ellie to note Snape constantly staring at her. Were it not for his other fixation, she’d have been genuinely disturbed, but as things were, that had made abundantly clear why Imogen was playing at being her friend – to soothe their hook-nosed leader’s paranoia.

She’d had to resort to dead drops for information, most of which was relatively useless even as the amount of time she spent among this inner circle increased. _Storing potion ingredients by the one-eyed witch. Discussed minor sabotage to quidditch stand._ Most of the time the schemes offered up didn’t even come to anything inside the meetings, but Ellie wanted to be sure. She was and always would be the new girl – there was no telling what further discussions might happen without her and she’d rather James and Lily waste time checking on the situation rather than assuming it all ended once she left the room.

Throughout it all though, she continued to be impressed by James’s ability to navigate their situation. The few times there were opportunities, he seemed to be ready with the perfect excuse, the perfect location – the perfect play. Lily was incompetent. She couldn’t feign combativeness to save her life and half the time Ellie couldn’t even get her attention. Dealing with her was a waste of time.

“What’s the story?” James asked as they talked through the slats between the locker rooms down at the quidditch pitch.

“More boring shit, mostly.”

“Then why take this risk?”

“It wasn’t _all_ boring.”

“Cut to the chase,” James snapped. “I’m supposed to talk logistics with Lily about this rush job for her house social next Saturday. ‘It can’t keep always being tied to quidditch!’ ” he mocked.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Lily, Lily, Lily. Good thing you’re both the Heads or people might get the wrong idea.”

“Seriously? Me and _Lily_?”

She noted the pause. “I’ve got to be ready for practice before they get down here anyway. They’re planning some sort of incident using something from the outside.”

“Very helpful. When?”

“I don’t know. Next couple of weeks, seems like.”

“That’s a pretty broad fucking range. And you’ve got no idea what it is ‘from the outside’?”

Ellie hesitated. She was getting too close to crossing the line. She knew he needed the information, but there was no question she’d be exposed if they had the specifics to combat it. Or the location. “It’s all I have,” she hissed, “with all the restrictions around the school now, I assume it has to be something local though. Hogsmeade? Somewhere.”

“Right,” James said. She could hear him sigh. “Yeah. I’ll talk to Lily and we’ll try and figure something out. This year’s a fucking mess.”

She waited until she was sure he was gone before starting to dress out. It looked like next Saturday was the day to act.

* * *

It had happened Saturday. _Another_ failure. “Damnit, James!”

“Look, she told me some time within the next couple of weeks. Didn’t know what or when specifically.”

“Yes, I’m sure she didn’t,” Lily said, her voice laden with sarcasm. “Re-making that mark – the one _she_ made originally – with dead animals…it’s disgusting. Everyone’s horrified. Even the professors are at a loss. This is how many times now? Without an ounce of credible information in return.”

“I’ll deal with it,” James snapped.

The next day, he cornered Ellie in the hallway as she walked amid her new best friends. “What do you want, Potter?” she spat. “Is our precious Head Girl making you do her dirty work again?”

James was seething, but kept himself under control as the others snickered. “A word, Benton,” he said icily, gesturing toward the door of an empty classroom. Her housemates rolled their eyes as they left her behind. Once inside, James cast Snape’s muffling charm again and rounded on the fifth year, flicking his wand and pinning her to the wall. “I’ve had _enough_ of your bullshit!”

She looked down at him, fearful for once. The expression on his face and proximity of his wand made sure of that. “They made me. They keep throwing these things at my feet and–“

“And you keep indulging them. Maybe that’s why I keep looking like such an _idiot_. Lily never trusted you. Maybe I should do things her way. While you still don’t know shit.”

“Don’t. Please. They were much more…it was different. Even Snape halfway smiled.”

“Because he’s proud to have his female Regulus Black or because you’re not as smart as you think and he knows _exactly_ what’s going on?”

“It’s not! I’m trying to help.”

“If that’s true you’re doing a pretty shit job aren’t you? I’m going to let you down now and I’m taking your wand – understand?” Ellie nodded. “This isn’t working. And I’m telling you right now, this is your last fucking chance.”

“I get it.”

“Yeah, well you better get it. Because you can get cute about Lily all you want, but when push comes to shove, I’ll fucking bury you. And that piece of shit who thinks he’s running this school.”

“You really think you could manage that,” she sniped. “You’re not a fool.”

“Well you just ask your new friends what happened the last time their fearless leader decided to attack students at this school. They may find it petty and he may never let on, but I’m the best duelist in this school and there’s a goddamn reason for that,” James yelled as he turned around in a circle, running his hands through his hair. “And you just ask some of the rest of them just how dangerous Lily can be.”

* * *

That night, in the common room, he and Lily sat across from one another in armchairs, sleepy after their latest shadowing session. The fire was burning low and quidditch practice having happened that day, James was particularly tired.

“Are you alright?” Lily asked as the wizard tossed off his glasses and pressed his hand against the side of his head where he’d been struck. “Maybe Madam Pomf–“

“I’m fine. I don’t need you joining the voices who say I’m not ready to come back,” he snapped.

Lily took a deep breath and let his tone flow past her. “We need to do more, James,” she said. “Even if I’m wrong, the two of us can’t keep doing this alone. We’re killing ourselves and it’s a wonder our friends aren’t asking more questions or…worse,” she said, blushing as she said it.

“Yeah,” he said awkwardly, “wouldn’t that be a laugh.”

“A laugh…yeah,” she answered her tone slightly down.

“Could add some levity. Stoking the fire,” James said, staring into the fireplace.

Lily sat up. “What do you mean ‘stoking the fire’?”

James laughed. “You know what I mean. Make the exits a bit more obvious or,” he looked at her, “you know, more personal chit chat.”

“You mean like right now?”

He shook his head. “Planning is not personal chit chat. God, Lily.”

“I just meant…kind of just the two of us. We practically sit next to each other at meals these days.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “it’d be nice.”

“I’m sorry?” Lily said.

It was an idiotic way to have phrased it, he realized the second after it left his mouth. Things had been different since the flying jaunt. He’d gotten caught up in other things after his conversation with Remus. Good old Remus who he could always count on for the truth. But nothing more had ever come of it on her end.

“James?”

“Huh?” He realized his thoughts had consumed more time than it had seemed in his head. “Oh, yeah. I was just saying it’d be nice.” _Fuck_.

“Yeah,” she said almost conspiratorially.

He thought he noticed something incongruous flickering in her eyes, but no. It had to be the fire. “So…doing something about this,” he offered in a bid to change the subject.

Lily bit. “I’m just saying we can’t…well, maybe you can, but I can’t keep burning the candle at both ends. Class, friends, our post-Hogwarts situations…and you’ve got quidditch on top.”

“I have to tell them then.”

“What? Who?”

“Sirius. Remus. Peter.”

“ _Oh_ no,” Lily said. “Absolutely not.”

“Absolutely yes,” James shot back. “They’re the only ones who already know about the…well, you know.”

She shook her head. “We can’t possibly trust them with this. Remus maybe, but Sirius would fly off the handle. And with respect, your friend Peter is talented, but he’s as clumsy a wizard as there is.”

“They can do this,” James said. “Remus would be happy for an extra round now and again. When he’s not…sick…I mean. And Sirius and Peter wouldn’t fuck this up. It’s too important. Especially now.”

“Aren’t they going to be livid at you?”

“No more than Marlene will be at you.”

“You want me to tell Marlene. You want me to _get Marlene_ to do this? Is this some thing with Black? Because she is _not_ interested.”

James chuckled. “No, it’s most definitely not for him. He’s got…other things going on.”

“I’m not going to ask,” Lily said, shuddering a bit. “But you’re serious?”

“If you want to keep her out of it, fine. She’s _your_ friend. I get it. But she’s the type to want to help don’t you think? She can’t be happy watching all this happen.”

Lily nodded. “Yeah…maybe you’re right.”

“Then that covers us mostly. Remus picks up a second round like we already do and the rest can cover the gaps.”

“Right…” said Lily. “I’m going to go think for a minute,” she continued, pulling herself out of the chair and wandering over to the window. “I’ll be back.”

“Just go to sleep,” James said. “No reason for you to keep staring out that window like you do.”

“You notice me staring out the window that often?”

“Yeah…you do it practically every night we get back in. And I do read down here you know. Even if we aren’t meeting or messing around with friends.”

“Oh,” Lily said, as she switched her head back toward the darkness.

“I’ll just uhh…read up,” he said, pulling out several rolls of parchment.

Lily looked back at his drowsy form.

James flicked his eyes her way just as she placed her hands on the sill. He was going to fall asleep before she got back. He knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It was about time for Ellie to get in hot water with one side or another and it’s James and Lily right now. He’s obviously been permissive until this instance, but I wanted to show that his trust only went so far with her. You’ll see in the future how that dynamic – and the whole battle for ‘control’ if you will – plays out in the coming chapters. I wanted to also include some James/Lily time where they both dance around the slipping incident and her attentiveness in the hospital wing post injury. Hopefully the way James thought about what had happened in between made a little clearer where his head is after his last conversation with Remus. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	54. Letting In and Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Just shut up and leave me alone about it, alright? He showed me a great place for a late-night snack - and a cool bit of healing magic - that's it.'

Remus woke for classes and felt it truly settling in. The sweats had started last night – the nausea this morning. The full moon was a few days away, but he still had so much – what felt like too much sometimes – to get through. Madam Pomfrey insisted that the symptoms were too strong to be caused by the approaching moon alone. This type of sickness was expected of course, but those on the day of transformation and particularly as night approached. The Matron insisted that the early onset was psychosomatic. Whether Remus believed her or not was ultimately irrelevant. He felt them and lived with them monthly.

Peter was to be his escort today, joining them on their adventure to Care of Magical Creatures with Kettleburn. The man was resilient if nothing else and as foolish as it was, Remus took heart from him. Kettleburn was going on more metal than man – silver replacing one hand and half of his left leg below the knee – but he made clear he had no intent to resign or diminish the seriousness of the creatures they observed despite his past injuries. Even though he knew, albeit vaguely, that his friends did everything they could to help him it brought him some measure of comfort to know that even the most vicious of creatures could be controlled.

Today, Red Caps were the focus of the lesson and though he understood their menace, he couldn’t help but be puzzled by why such an easily repelled creature would be important to them going forward.

“Hello,” Kettleburn greeted them, his booming voice making the simple word sound almost like a shout. Some days it was as if he forgot the trait.

“Hello,” the class echoed, shifting into a semi-circle around the professor.

The man cracked his knuckles. “Who is prepared for a journey to the forest? We’ll be just outside the edge of forbidden area – close enough in this light for you to look in.”

As they approached their destination, the boys could see them, shackled apart from one another and left weaponless to restrain their more wicked tendencies. “Thought we learned about these from a textbook,” Peter muttered.

Remus shrugged.

“Today we’re going to examine some differences between both season and age of our friends here. It should provide a good opportunity to see what might be done about the Red Cap problem should any infiltrate your, our, or any other community…”

By the end of the day, the blond wizard was bedraggled, sinking against the windowsill and pressing his aching head against the cold window. He hoped he’d manage to keep down tonight’s meal, though calling his dinner roll and a bread plate of green beans a meal was probably stretching the word. He hoped meeting with James would be over soon enough.

Peter shuffled in after Sirius, both of whom tossed themselves onto the desk at the front of the empty classroom.

“We’ve got your checkerboard upstairs after Prongs quits wasting our time on whatever ‘important’ scheme he _has_ to share tonight. Personally, I think it’s going to be something pathetically uninventive given where his attention’s been, but–“

“Oi! McKinnon!” Sirius barked as the blonde witch opened the door and walked in. “Room’s taken!”

She rolled her eyes. “As much as I hate to interrupt what I’m sure was going to be a wonderful circle-jerk, I was actually invited here.”

“Hello, Marlene,” Remus croaked.

“Remus,” she said, jerking her head to acknowledge him, “feeling any better?”

He simply shook his head.

Sirius walked over and gripped him by the shoulder. “We’ll take care of him,” he said. “Always do, don’t we Moony?”

“You and those nicknames,” she shook her head. “I assume you’re James’s invitees?”

“Obviously…” Peter said. “Why? Who invited you?”

“Seriously?”

“It was Lily, you idiot,” Sirius said, whacking him on the back of the head. “I assume we’ll have the pleasure of her company then?” he asked, swiveling his head toward Marlene.

“You assumed correctly,” Lily said, walking in with James right behind her.

“You’re not turning into Evans’s little puppy are you Prongs?”

“Shut up, Sirius,” James groused. “If anyone’s acting like a _puppy_ , Padfoot, it’s you.”

His friend flashed him a smirk.

Lily’s arms were already crossed, something Remus didn’t take a positive sign for the rest of the discussion. “This is serious,” she said.

Peter elbowed Sirius. “Hear that mate? It’s _Sirius_.”

“Damnit Peter, shut the fuck up,” James snapped. “It _is_ serious, which is exactly why it’s you four here. You know, the people we trust the most?”

“Evans trusts us?”

“By extension,” James emphasized. “She trusts me. I trust you. Enough said.” Remus watched Lily carefully, noticing her look sideways at her co-Head and the tiny upturn at the corner of her lips. “And we both trust Marlene.”

“Great. We’re all one big happy family.”

Marlene rolled her eyes from across the room before refocusing on James and Lily. “Well we’re all here anyway. What’s the deal?”

“We need all of your help,” Lily said. “To put it bluntly, there’s a certain group of Slytherin students we have good reason to believe are behind these latest events – and the attack on the first years. We need to stop them.”

Remus pulled himself up. “We have prefects patrolling the halls. What more can we do? Find a way to get into their common rooms?”

“James and I have been tailing prefects on their rounds whenever we’re not on theirs. We’re trying to keep on top of all of them, but we could use fresh eyes.”

“On top of the fact that we’re wearing ourselves out,” James added. “We need to get this under control if we’re going to keep the school from falling apart.”

“So _that’s_ where you’ve been. I’d been waiting for you to come to me, but I thought the two of you were off exploring broom closets.”

They both seemed to flush. “…well…we haven’t been!” Lily said, perhaps too loudly.

Marlene looked bemused.

“How are we supposed to help?” asked Remus.

“We need you to take turns tailing them,” Lily said.

“I’m sorry, what?” Marlene asked, the earlier comment seeming to register. “Tailing them? How have you even _been_ tailing them?”

Lily’s eyes shifted to James then toward the rest of the Marauders and back again.

“We’ve uhh…been using the cloak?”

Remus offered up protest as best he could, though as much as he was frustrated about what that meant he understood the situation. Peter and Sirius meanwhile were shouting and looked ready to throw paper wads, tomatoes, whatever at James.

“How could you, Prongs? We’ll never pull another prank again!”

“I _could_ because it’s _mine_. And I _did_ because this is more important than pranks. You know that. Quit pretending the world isn’t going to shit out there.”

The two fell silent.

“You’ve had an invisibility cloak?” Marlene asked. “And you’ve been using it at school? Isn’t that illegal or something?”

“It’s not,” Lily said before peeking at James, “I looked it up.”

He smiled as he saw James suppress what was about to be an enormous laugh. How he managed to stop that one was beyond Remus, but sure enough he did.

“That’s just mean, Marlene. I resent the implication that I’d do anything illegal,” James said sarcastically.

Remus leaned back against the windowsill and cleared his throat. “So…how exactly are we going to do this?”

* * *

“Can I ask you something?” Lily said as she sat across from James in the common room.

James raised his head from his quidditch manual. “Sure.”

"Are you hungry?”

“ _Hungry?_ ”

“Yes. Are you hungry? I have some biscuits in my trunk and I don’t want to eat them all.”

“Why the hell would you eat them all?”

“I’m a nervous eater.”

“Relax a little. We’ve just got this sorted. Time to rest for once. You can’t just let this swallow you whole, Lily. You’re a person, not just Head Girl.”

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.”

“What do you mean?” James asked, sitting up and letting his book fall into the cushion beside him.

“I have to be stronger. I have to have everything under control. I mean look around, James. Nobody else will.”

“Life doesn’t do you much good if the one you give yourself isn’t worth living.”

She paused. “Wow…okay barstool philosopher.”

“That’s my dad’s. Anyway, it’s not some secret you try to be perfect. It must be a lot of stress.” James stared at her. “Besides, I’m here, remember?”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Then start thinking like it. _You_ don’t have to have everything under control. _We_ have to have as much as we can have under control.”

“I guess I feel like you’re doing everything. You come up with these plans. You’re working whatever with Ellie. All I do is give advice.”

“God, Lily. If you’re not putting too much pressure on yourself then you’re not giving yourself enough credit.”

“It’s just how I am.”

James sighed. “Are you hungry?”

“What?”

“Yeah. Are you hungry?”

“I just asked you that.”

“Technically you just asked me what.”

“Don’t be a prat.”

“Really though.”

“Yes, I’m hungry! I just asked you to share my stash of biscuits!”

“Let’s go then.”

“Go? It’s past curfew.”

“And I’m a rogue. Welcome to living on the dark side,” he said, yanking her up.

“James,” she said, laughing. “You can’t…we can’t just–“

“Will you get your damn shoes on so we can go?”

Lily looked around. There were still no other students in the area. She checked her watch. After midnight. Why was she awake after midnight? She had classes – a full slate of classes tomorrow and she needed to be sharp for Potions.

James was already at the portrait hole when she sat back down. “You coming or not?”

Against her better judgment, Lily leaned down and grabbed her flats, slipping them on and heading over to meet him. “Where’s the cloak?”

“Pssh,” James scoffed, “we don’t need the cloak for this.”

“Are you kidding?” she hissed. “You’re going to get us both detention. _Detention_. We’re the Head Students!”

James shrugged. “Live life on the edge with me.”

Lily shook her head. She was actually going to do this – walk the school to God knows where – for food. Allegedly. _Why_ was she going to do this? The smirk on James’s face as he took her hand to lead her outside the portrait hole should’ve been more than enough to dissuade her, but she found herself returning the expression. Something went alight in James’s eyes as they stepped out. She expected the Fat Lady to sing, but with a shush from James, she obliged.

“How did you–“

“Quiet!” James hissed. “I thought you didn’t want detention!”

“I’m not used to this,” she whispered back.

James looked back at her, eyebrow raised.

“Shut up.”

They’d made it two floors down when James tugged her hand a bit. Had he been holding her hand, guiding her along this entire time? Maybe he had.

“Sorry. Need this one too for a minute.” He pointed at the rotating staircase in front of them. “Just in case.”

Before she could say a word, he’d leapt off their landing and onto the other, the fronts of his feet catching the edge. He wobbled as it rotated and she yanked her wand free. That idiot was about to fall off. All the fucking way down there if somebody didn’t catch him and it was all because he was so ridiculously impatient that he – she marveled as he steadied himself despite the motion, pressing on his toes and falling forward as he caught himself with both hands. James flashed a thumbs up and a grin, waving her on as the staircase came back around. She wasn’t about to do that.

“Come on,” James mouthed, jerking his head toward a growing light. Filch. Shit. He waved faster. “Come on!” he mouthed again, his face twisted with agitation.

Backing up far more than he had, Lily did her best sprint and leapt…she was not coming anywhere near this platform and James didn’t even have a wand out. This had been his plan all along – making her fall to her death. James reached out with both arms as she was about to pass. He’d hooked his foot through one of the small pillars that made up the side railing. Suddenly he’d grabbed her by the wrists midway up her forearm and with a grunt, he yanked her toward him. She heard a crack as it happened, but she fell next to him with a thud and they both stayed down until the light passed. Lily turned her head and saw James’s ankle contorted badly, a bit of bone jutting loose.

“ _FUCK_!” he growled before lifting his head up slightly to survey the damage. “My ahh… _damn_ …wand, please?”

She grimaced as she looked down for it, her eyes greeted again by the bleeding mess of James’s ankle. “I don’t see it,” she said, panicked.

He pressed himself up on his arms and lurched his head toward his far pocket. Lily leaned over his body, reaching carefully into James’s pocket. She felt his heavy breathing on her neck as she pulled it free and handed it over. Pulling back and resting on her knees, she brushed her hair back and out of her face. Lily watched as James did some unfamiliar wand movements and muttered several incantations. Slowly, under a blue light, the ankle began coming back together, the bones, muscles, ligaments, and tendons fusing together. Lily watched as he waggled it, carrying on with the incantations until he noticed its increasing flexibility. After a few minutes he stopped, testing it by trying to press on it hard as he stood. Shaking it out, he blasted it with a yellow spell and stepped down on it, straightening himself.

“Good as new,” he said, smiling at her. She knew her mouth was agape. “What? Never seen a man heal his own injury?”

“Uhh…not that.”

“Quidditch stuff. Took a long time to learn that one, but I bribed the medi-witch who was there to treat Sirius’s injuries after he’d come to stay.”

“Come to stay?”

“Yeah. Holiday visit,” he said abruptly. “Anyway, let’s go.”

“Go? You still want to go farther?”

He lifted his hands up in front of him, looking as if the answer was obvious. “Of course. Filch is going up, we’re heading down. I’ll give us a little more cushion on the return trip.”

Roughly ten minutes later, James was tickling a pear on a random portrait. The next thing she knew, he was leading her into what she took to be the Hogwarts kitchens. “What…?”

“Nosh!” James called out.

Immediately, a small creature wandered out of a dimly lit side room. Its eyes brightened as it approached. “Master James!”

James knelt down and shook the house elf’s hand. “Didn’t wake you did we?”

“No, sir. Master James knows Nosh is a dinner elf. Should Boon come as well for you and Miss?”

“That’s okay. Nosh, this is Lily, Lily Evans. She’s in Gryffindor too.”

“Nosh knows Miss Lily, sir. She is Head Girl. All house elves know our Head Students.”

James raised an eyebrow. “Really? Well, brilliant then. Is there any fruit lying around?”

“Surely Master James wants more than fruit. Does Miss Lily make Master James nervous?”

Lily looked over at James, their eyes catching each other at just the same time.

“Heh…no. Not at all,” James said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I just didn’t want to cause trouble.”

She thought she saw a twinkle in the elf’s eye as it turned to look at her. “It is no trouble. Should Nosh make the usual for Master James?”

“Yeah, I guess,” James muttered, avoiding eye contact with Lily.

“And what will Miss Lily be wanting?”

“Well…I don’t want to give you too much to do. Merlin knows it’s so late.”

“Nosh is always awake at night. What can he get Miss Lily?”

“Do you have any pastries?”

“Pastries! Nosh will make plenty of pastries! Pastries are easy with Master James’s pie.” The elf hurried off to an oven, lighting it before busying itself with collecting ingredients.

“So,” Lily said, taking a seat on one of the small benches near the main counter, “this is obviously a regular occurrence for you?”

“Very observant.”

“Why did you bring me here?”

“You were hungry…” he answered. “You can biscuits here too if you want. Or other food since you seemed worried about the biscuits.”

“And I’ve gone from one unhealthy option to another.”

“Hey,” James said, surrendering, “nobody forced your hand.”

“It’s sweet of you to cheer me up,” she said. “And nice to get out of the Tower.” _Sweet?_

“I thought you were worried about detention.”

Lily leaned back against the counter, her arm brushing him. If he noticed he didn’t seem to care and, feeling a bit exhausted, let her shoulder keep resting against his. “I am,” she said, “and about your ankle. But for now, here is okay.”

* * *

The following morning, Lily had deep regrets.

“Morning sunshine,” Marlene said. “Where’d you get off to until two when you woke me up?”

“Oh. Fell asleep in the common room. Studying.”

“Bullshit,” the blonde witch said as she dressed, “I think _you_ ,” she continued, poking Lily in the chest, “went a little off the rails last night.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“There are a lot of things it _could_ mean, but you should probably get off your ass and get dressed. See you later,” she said with a wink.

Lily reached for the clock. Oh no. No no no no no. She had to be in Potions in ten minutes. Yes, deep, very deep regrets. She snuck in a few minutes late, her long red hair thrown into a messy bun and face completely bare. At least James looked to be nodding off as well. Lily turned around to face front after finding the right page just in time to meet Slughorn’s gaze. Behind her she heard a whap.

“Wuuh?”

“Get it together, mate,” Sirius hissed, “Sluggy’s got his eyes on us already. I shouldn’t have nicked those scarabs.”

“He doesn’t give a shit about bloody scarabs…”

Lily whipped around and glared at them. “Will you shut your mouths, already?”

James’s sleepy eyes met hers. “You look good,” he murmured.

“I look like shit.”

A double session later, Lily cornered James in the hall. “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Keep me out that late. And tell me I look nice in front of everyone to draw attention.”

“I wasn’t. I think you look nice,” he said, “as far as the other part, I don’t think I held you hostage.”

“Clearly I can’t manage it as well as you. How the hell am I supposed to make it through the rest of classes?”

“Don’t? No McGonagall. Stone doesn’t bother. Flitwick…tell him you were sick. He loves you.”

“Lie to Professor Flitwick?”

“Yeah. Lie. And then go have a lie in. Well…a sort of lie in.”

“Is this part of the ‘dark side’?” she asked.

James laughed. “No…this is part of the protecting your physical health side. It’s not like you’re hungover off Firewhiskey.”

“Please tell me…”

“That’s a Sirius and Peter habit. Not that I don’t imbibe of course, but I know I’m not going to drink either of them under the table. Hit a buzz and then why bother.”

“In Hogsmeade.”

“Yeah…” James said scratching his head as he looked down. “Hogsmeade only. Absolutely.”

In a different time…but Lily couldn’t help but smile. “You really are an awful Head Boy.”

“Hey!” he said, feigning umbrage, “how dare you attack my reputation you libelous–“

Lily laughed. “I think you’re proving my point.”

“Hey there you two,” Marlene said as she sauntered up. “You know Defense is that way, right?” she added, pointing down the hallway.

James rolled his eyes. “We know where Stone’s shitty class is, McKinnon.”

“Ugh,” Lily groaned, “we really should go.”

“We really should not,” he said sourly.

Marlene shot Lily a look to prod her forward and she followed behind, feeling a bit better about how she looked.

As they walked into Stone’s classroom late, the man didn’t even look up and they took open seats at the back rather than their usual positions. She heard Marlene rifling through her back to her right before she plopped her book on the table with a thud. And Stone kept on going…

“So…you and James Potter? After all this time.”

“Shut up, Marlene.”

“Wow. It’s true. And you _still_ subjected me and Alana to all those whiny denials.”

"There’s not a ‘me and James Potter’ alright?” Lily hissed. “Stop saying that.”

“Oh there’s _absolutely_ a you and James Potter. He kept you up all night.”

“He broke his ankle.”

“Broke his ankle?”

“Jumping between staircases.”

“Yeah that doesn’t sound like an ankle-breaker for someone like James. Trying to dodge Filch?”

“Trying to uhh…catch me. Make sure _I_ dodged Filch.”

“You dodged – oh shit. You snuck off with him in the middle of the bloody night but there’s no Lily Evans and James Potter. And don’t you _dare_ say it was business because neither of you have that excuse anymore.”

“I was hungry,” Lily muttered, “he offered me food.”

“I didn’t think you could manage it, but that’s actually worse. You have a whole thing of biscuits in your trunk.”

“I didn’t want to eat them all.”

“Well you could’ve split them. Or did you enjoy your tonsil soup?”

“Damnit, Marlene!” Lily snapped, a bit too loudly.

“Ahh. Miss Evans! Excellent! The rest of the class was quite silent on the Krudiger’s mass implementation of the Imperius Curse. I should’ve expected you’d have the enthusiasm I was looking for!”

 _Only Stone_. _Now_.

“Right, professor. Well…Krudiger used a…excuse me…an amplifying net so he was able to really contain the energy it took for…cross…or inter…the text just called it multiple subject control.”

Marlene snickered. “Love it. So when’s it official?”

“I am going to kill you. We are going to walk out this door, I’m going to march you around the corner and there’s going to be green light I swear to you.”

“So no soup then? God. When are you going to get your shit together?”

“I’m not getting anything together. Maybe you just worry about yourself, yeah?”

“He thinks you look nice when you’re _totally_ unadorned. Me and Alana told you about this. We can add in that he’s fit as fuck if you need more of a push.”

“Seriously,” Lily snapped, “just shut up and leave me alone about it, alright? He showed me a great place for a late-night snack – and a cool bit of healing magic – that’s it.”

“Yep,” Marlene said, zipping her mouth shut, “that’s it.”

* * *

As usual, Remus had disappeared after dinner, being secreted away by Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey in the Shrieking Shack. This left James waiting for Sirius and Peter in the common just before curfew. Most their fellow students were either studying around him or, in the case of the younger students, wandering around in their pajamas, chatting and playing games.

In the meantime, his thoughts wandered. What had last night been? Just fun, right? But why did it happen? They’d ended up together in a place where – aside from the house elves and presumably faculty – only he and his three closest friends knew how to visit. And they’d stayed there eating and talking – and laughing – for almost two hours. He’d gone to sleep feeling good, despite having to heal a broken ankle along the way.

His finger traced over the parchment in his pocket, hoping they wouldn’t encounter too many people along the way. They had the cloak of course, but footsteps still made noise. Especially three sets. They preferred to spend as much time as possible with their friend once the worst symptoms of the potion started to set in. Pulling it out of his pocket, James realized it wasn’t the map he’d been touching. He quickly reached for his other pocket and came up empty. Where the hell?

James decided to wait for his friends to solve the problem. Maybe they’d nicked it between now and dinner, It wouldn’t be the first time Peter decided to get clever – pickpocketing was one of his better talents after all – and given that he’d been chipping in with the whole intelligence situation it was equally possible that he’d just forgotten. He knew what it was though, unfolding it again.

_Merlin, James…I love you. Maybe when it’s safe again…I don’t know. I’m sorry. Just…know that I love you with all my heart._

_Katie_

He almost jumped as a heavy hand clapped down on his shoulder. “Ready, mate? Don’t want Moony to miss us too badly.”

“Yeah, course,” James said hurriedly. “I know you’ve got the map. You and Peter head on out. I’ll be there in a second.” Once they were clear of him, James looked down at the parchment again, already well-worn and tearing at the folds.

“Where are you three going?” Lily asked, walking up behind him.

Shit. “We’ve got uhh…it’s very important to Remus.”

“Then why doesn’t he go?”

“Tired. You know how it is.”

“Yes, I do,” she said, hands on her hips and frowning, “thanks to _you_.”

“Oh you’re going to be like that about it?”

Lily laughed. “You know I’m just kidding.”

“Yeah,” he said, running his hand through his hair, “Course.”

“You’re coming back soon, right?” she asked warily.

“Missing me already?”

Lily rolled her eyes. “ _No_. But you’ll be back soon, right? It’s nearly curfew.”

“I wouldn’t worry about curfew,” he said.

“I’ll track you down if you’re sneaking food again.”

James winked. “I bet you will.”

Lily flushed for a moment before her eyes shot to his hand. “Off to send some secret correspondence? Maybe to your fireworks traffickers?”

“No,” James blurted almost before she could finish.

Suddenly, both saw Sirius’s head sticking out of the portrait hole. “You coming or what?” he asked, eyes narrowed as they shifted from James to Lily and back again.

“Yeah!” James said. “I told you just a minute.”

Sirius tapped his empty wrist before disappearing.

“I guess you should go…” Lily said. “Just don’t blow up the school alright? There’s enough people already trying.”

As he turned around, the parchment fell out of his hand and he nearly clashed heads with Lily who had already stooped down to grab it. “You dropped this…” she said from inches away.

“Yeah, I…thanks,” he said.

Lily shook her head. “You’re being odd…I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Definitely,” James nodded.

As she turned away, her red hair flowing behind her, James looked at the folded square he had left. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath before leaning over the fire. Taking a look at the flames dancing in front of him, he tossed it in closing his eyes slowly this time and letting loose the breath he realized he’d been holding in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: While there’s still some emotional baggage there, James has put Katie behind him. I’m sure that’s what people have been waiting for since his last conversation with Remus (itself an inversion of their previous conversation about the two girls). As you read at a similar time, Lily is carrying some baggage of her own, though hers is far more private than James’s was. Accordingly, I can’t promise this duo is going to have everything go swimmingly, but the ride from here on out is (while handling some of the outstanding issues like Sirius/Grace, Peter’s home life, and the battle of good vs. evil/Ellie situation) going to be the James/Lily you came here to read about like…150K ago.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	55. Hogging All the Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Are you calling me beautiful?'
> 
> 'So self-absorbed...I didn't think you were friends with that catty crowd.'

Alana’s tossing and turning and Marlene’s snoring combined to wake Lily the next day. Though she had enjoyed their escapade together and the food that followed, she hoped he hadn’t decided to flagrantly violate curfew again. The last thing the school needed in a time like this was an absentee Head Boy. Taking care not to wake either of her friends, Lily showered and dressed, fixing her hair in the mirror covering some blemishes on her face before she headed off to breakfast. When she arrived at the Great Hall, she found its tables stuffed with other students, but none of any of James’s quartet.

She was eating bowl of fruit when the black-haired boy slid down across from her. “Morning, Lily,” he said, reaching for the stack of plates and beginning to dole himself out a generous portion of each offering. He looked, if possible, more exhausted than before and she imagined that he was probably going to report the need for another day-long nap.

“You’re not skiving off classes again are you?”

“No,” he mumbled, “I wouldn’t want to be a terrible example.”

Lily’s eyes narrowed. “You’re baiting me…”

He stabbed at a piece of bacon he’d cut off. “Mostly.”

“Well, what brings you to my corner of the table anyway? Where are your friends?”

“Sleeping,” he sighed, looking back toward the door with yearning. “Same as yours I suppose.”

“Still though. We’ve sat close enough this year, but I don’t think we’ve ever sat _across_ from each other at breakfast. Or lunch or dinner for that matter.”

James shrugged. “You looked lonely.”

Lily didn’t turn her head but smiled at him anyway. She was sure he could see the corner of her mouth pull upward. “Maybe a little. What _did_ keep you out last night? I seriously doubt it was actually Remus.”

“Definitely was,” he said, looking particularly serious. “But I’m sworn to secrecy.”

“Oh sure…does he like to perform interpretive dance in the empty hallways?”

James snorted. “So close…”

“Shut up,” she said, _actually_ smiling at him this time.

“Well,” he said, looking at her face closely, “you seem to have recovered beautifully from our trip together.”

Despite her efforts, she felt herself blush. “Are you calling me beautiful?”

“So self-absorbed…I didn’t think you were friends with that catty crowd.”

Deflecting. Wow. He _did_ think she looked good. “I come by mine naturally, thank you very much.”

James laughed, chomping down on a donut. There was an odd pause – for a James Potter comeback anyway – and he looked at the table before lifting his chin and looking past her. “Yeah,” he said.

Lily considered it another acknowledgement, and even if he wouldn’t actually say it, it felt good coming from him. She decided to change the subject. “How’s quidditch?”

“ _You_ want to know about quidditch?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Sure,” she said, “I mean, it’s important to you.” Oh had that come out wrong. She expected some quip in return but didn’t get it.

“Interesting year so far I guess. My tactics are working, but I’ve had my injuries obviously. Fortunately, none that took me out of a match.”

“Where do you want to play?”

“I told you before–“

“Yeah, but if things were different. You’d want to, right?”

“Of course I’d want to. I always dreamed about it. Played my whole life for it.”

“So where would you want to play?”

“Tutshill. The Tornadoes.”

“Are they…important?”

“Important?” James laughed. “They’re _all_ important. It’s the highest professional league we’ve got. But I grew up watching them. They’re less than an hour from home. One of the few things me and my dad always did together growing up.”

Lily noticed an undercurrent there. Almost…bittersweet? “That sounds really great.”

“Would’ve been. Getting drafted by them… It doesn’t matter.”

Lily looked straight into his eyes. “Just because the world out there’s awful doesn’t mean your dreams don’t matter. I’m still applying to the Academy.”

“Yeah…but would you really go?”

The question hit her in the face and with unexpected force. “I…yes. I think so.” The thought was something that she already felt burrowing into her mind. She _thought_ so? He was giving up professional quidditch, right?

He sighed. “Yeah. I get it. How’s that scrap from McGonagall?”

“Fine,” she said abruptly. “It’s a lot of work, but I can handle it.”

“Of course you can. You’re… _you_. Is it a secret or can you tell me what it’s about?”

“What? What do you care what it’s about?”

James drew back, raising his hands. “Possessive…”

“It’s not that it’s… _fine_ ,” she said, “I’ll tell you after classes. After…you know…and on rounds alright?”

“Okay,” he said, returning to far more banal subjects for the rest of the meal.

* * *

The door slammed as James strode into and swiftly locked it.

“That was quite dramatic,” Ellie said as she twirled her wand between her fingers at the front of the room.

“I have to keep people from coming anywhere near here anyway. Rage is a decent option.”

“I suppose.”

“Yeah, yeah. What have you got for me? It better not be any more bullshit either.”

The girl examined her nails. “I’m going to have to get these re-done. _God_ I hate her.”

“Great. Yes. Your nails are horrendous and need immediate attention. What the hell do you have that’s worth the two of us meeting on short notice in the middle of the fucking day?”

“Not concerned about the extra hour I have to bake into my day to play princess for you?”

“Not really.”

“On the positive side I think it does make me look better. Objectively speaking.” Ellie produced a bit of perfume, a gentle scent that James found pleasant from where he stood. “Anyway, I know what their next move is. It sort of involves perfume in fact.”

“Snape brewing something for a gas attack?”

“That would be incredibly effective, but no. Slightly less obvious, though not terribly so. You know Kettleburn’s Red Caps?”

“Not really, but it makes sense that that lunatic would keep them around.”

“Talk to your friend, Lupin.” Ellie said, starting for the door.

James scowled. “Where the hell are you going?”

“Making my next class? Imogen is supposed to meet me in…” she checked her watch “…three minutes at the bottom of the third-floor staircase. She needs to find me at the bottom when she’s coming down from the top.” Ellie opened the door and smoothed down the back of her hair, carefully replacing her headband. “Bye,” she mouthed, winking as she set off.

As suggested, James found Remus as soon as possible. Fortunately, Stone, in keeping with his lackadaisical attitude toward instruction, had open seating so he was able to drag everyone into position in one area of the room. Remus and Lily were closest with Peter and Sirius listening in from a seat back.

“What’s the big deal?” Sirius asked. “Even Stone’s not stupid enough to leave the four–“

Lily cocked her head, looking at him expectantly.

“–five of us alone in the corner of his classroom.”

“Moony. Red Caps. Lay it out,” said James.

“I’m not sure what you want me to say about them,” he said with a shrug. “We worked them with – as much as one can work with a Red Cap – with Kettleburn. He was talking about their isolationist tendencies. Some theory of his about…oh, I see.”

“What?” Lily asked. “You see what?”

“Kettleburn has a theory that under the right circumstances, Red Caps could be encouraged – or forced – to work together.”

“How would that fit with Ellie’s perfume?”

The whole group turned to stare at him. “You were sniffing Ellie’s perfume?” asked an incredulous Lily.

James rolled his eyes. “No, I was not sniffing her perfume. She felt the need to refresh it in front of me when we met. It seemed like it was to make a point given what she said.”

“Or it was a good way to tag you for them,” Sirius said, “you do smell a bit of…” the boy sniffed the air “…vanilla and flowers. How did you not notice this Evans?”

“I don’t go around smelling James. Besides, I figured it was one of the girls in the class,” she said with a laugh. “It doesn’t usually wind up on boys unless they’re right next to the girl when she uses it. Or there’s been…intimacy.”

“Speaking from experience I see,” Sirius said, winking at Lily. “Getting acquainted, Prongs?”

“You’re disgusting,” Lily spat just as James answered.

“Shut the fuck up, Padfoot. No. She’s fifteen. And a Slytherin.”

“If you’re all done talking about perfume like giggling firsties who just started sneaking into their mum’s make-up can we get back to the point?”

“Right,” said Remus. “So…if she’s talking about perfume fitting in somehow, it’s possible that Snape believes some combination of pheromones could make them more cooperative. I’m not sure how it would lend itself to controlling them at the same time though. We all know that nobody here can cast a multi-victim Imperius curse and even if he could, that would seem to nullify the need for the pheromones in the first place.”

“He’s not acting alone, you dolt,” said Sirius.

“Yeah,” Peter agreed.

“He’s obviously going to use these cronies of his to pull off his plan.”

“And if there are pheromones involved, the girls would probably have a different role. It’s unlikely he’d take the risk that anything would interfere with whatever agent he’s got in mind. It’s sexist, but…he’d become rather more that way hanging around with purebloods.”

“What the hell would they be doing that Ellie would–“

“Mister Potter,” Stone snapped from the front, “I should think you, Miss Evans, and Mister Lupin have ample time to discuss matters involving student leadership outside my classroom. And you’d probably want to have such discussions away from what are obviously the prying eyes and ears of Misters Black and Pettigrew.”

“Of course, sir,” James said, faking an apology.

Lily was a bit disturbed at how effortless his performance seemed, but it defused the situation as the group of them dispersed. It didn’t take long for her to feel something hit her in the shoulder, falling to the side of her. She turned around and glared at James, the only person it could’ve come from. As she leaned over to pick it up, she noticed James in her periphery. He seemed to be looked around at various portions of the ceiling with great interest. Shit. Stone was swiveling her way now.

There was an irritating scraping noise and his eyes shifted, allowing her to grab the balled-up parchment.

“Mister Potter, my patience is not endless, even for someone as esteemed as the Head Boy. I expect your attention in my classroom.”

“I apologize about the desk,” James said in a soft, placating tone. “I was just about to raise my hand and I must have shifted it.”

Stone straightened, the irritation unbelievably disappearing from his face. “I see. Very well. What was your question?”

He looked down at the wood in front of him before pursing his lips as if in thought. “I’m sorry, professor. I think I’ve just lost my train of thought.”

“Very well, Mister Potter. Should the question return to you during class, feel free to see me afterward.” And he was back to teaching again.

He really was incredibly slick when he wanted to be. Lily refocused her attention on the ball in front of her, carefully unfurling it and pressing it flat on her desk. _Distraction. Keeping watch._ The girls. She wrote a response and dropped it, using her wand to magically prod it back to him.

_All of them?_

James shrugged without turning around. Apparently, he hadn’t been given any detail about how Ellie would be involved in the whole enterprise.

Lily wasn’t surprised. Whether for good or ill, she wouldn’t have extended contact with James…or her…if everything could be done through the dead drops that had yielded nothing before. Though the contact between she and Ellie had improved when James said he’d forced the issue, everything significant still seemed to run through James. He claimed it was because he was better at being surreptitious. Maybe it was?

Once class let out, the group made their way to the a spare space where they were able to reunite with Marlene, who had missed classes to work on more application material – something that had swollen significantly as she progressed farther into the process.

“Well, don’t you all look pleased as punch?” the blonde witch asked as she stood up from the desk where she’d been lounging.

“Finally some decent information,” said Lily, tossing down her bag as the boys circled up with them.

Marlene looked toward James. “Red Caps,” he answered, “Based on what Ellie said I think there’s going to be some sort of attack.”

“Are you sure about this? It would be the perfect way to flush all of us out or misdirect us from their real scheme. Or both.”

“I’m sure,” James said firmly.

She shrugged. “I only ask because from everything I’ve heard everything she’s touched has turned out _very_ badly for us.”

“This is something firm and tangible. She knows she’s out if it all doesn’t line up. Even if she’s leeching – which I’ve been increasingly careful about – she wouldn’t risk losing that connection.”

“I trust James,” Lily said. “I think we should go with it.”

Marlene stared her friend down. “Okay.”

“Go with what exactly?” Sirius asked. “Stone broke us up before we could get into anything specific.”

“The three of them,” James said, gesturing toward his mates, “will make sure we’ve got possible smuggling points covered. You,” he added, pointing to Marlene, “are lookout from the castle to our own entry route, and me and Lily will head into the forest to recon.”

“Great…how the hell is that supposed to work?” Marlene asked. “We’re all going to be separated.”

“We know three surefire entry points…” Remus said, looking at Sirius. He continued when the other boy nodded. “We know three surefire entry points. We’ll have to count on whoever’s on guard at each as the first line of defense.”

“I’m more concerned about my, Lily, and James’s part in this.”

James looked to Sirius, who titled his head doubtfully. “Come on, mate.”

Sirius went into his robes and reluctantly produced what appeared to be a simple mirror. “You’ll have this,” he said, handing it over to Marlene.

“A mirror. Great. Now I can admire myself as much as you.”

He scowled. “James has a match. You see a problem, you let him know. He or Lily are in trouble, he’ll let you know.” Sirius pointed at the mirror again. “Don’t fucking break that.”

* * *

It was a few days later, on intelligence from Ellie that the group knew when the attack was coming. The Ministry would be coming to collect the Red Caps that Friday and they’d need to be prepared. James had marshalled the troops and each were in position. Marlene had split from them as he and Lily moved past the old shack downwind of the castle and was now lying prone a short distance north of the structure, which afforded her a decent line of sight along the length of the tree line demarcating the grounds from the Forbidden Forest. Peter should be on the sixth floor, looking down on the staircases for any approach to the Smarmy Statue. Remus was under the cloak watching the One-Eyed Witch, leaving Sirius tucked in his favorite corner of the fourth floor, watching the gleaming mirror. If this proved true…he didn’t know how Ellie would play it off, but it was too important to dwell too long on that particular situation.

“You do this all the time, don’t you?” Lily whispered as the pair entered the forest with a barely burning lantern, trying to get eyes on Kettleburn’s little prison.

“Planning and executing a critical reconnaissance mission to be carried out under the cover of night? I have to say no, this is something I have not, in fact, ever done before.”

“You never stop do you?”

“Fine,” he whisper-shouted back, “I may find myself here from…time to time.”

“So you know what we’re looking for?”

“Vaguely. From Moony’s description.”

She shook her head. “Moony. One day I’m going to figure out what the hell those names of yours mean, you know that?”

“Not many days left,” James snickered.

“Alright, can you just shut up and focus on the mission?”

“Yes ma’am, General Evans.” There was a pause and James could already see Lily’s expression in his mind’s eye. “Don’t roll your eyes,” he said. “You started it.”

As the pair slunk deeper into the forest, James became more tense. He knew from experience not to go much deeper than this. They needed to turn. Kettleburn wouldn’t have made a pen this deep. If they escaped or were found by another sentient life-form and freed…there’d be hell to pay on so many fronts.

“Where are we _going_ , James?”

“We’ll get there in a bit. It’s probably just a right turn here and maybe a little tracking back.”

“Probably? You have no idea where we are, do you?”

“Of course I do! We’re in the Forbidden Forest!”

He could feel Lily glare. “I will kill you.”

James shrugged. “Might as well turn right now. You’ll see. I’ll be proven correct.”

“No petrol station to save us…” Lily muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she said, waving him onward. “Lead on.”

James shot her an irritated glare that he hoped reached her through the light of the lantern before making his turn and heading in the direction of…well, what he hoped was Kettleburn’s unofficial violent creature storage area. They were moving slowly, but as twigs cracked and leaves were crushed under their feet, he was tense. They’d both cast muffling charms on their feet, but it didn’t work so well on uneven ground with a malleable floor. After a few minutes, things had gotten no brighter and James stopped, listening for anything: a muffled voice, a gate opening, chains rattling. He got nothing.

“Damnit.”

“Lost are we?” Lily asked, hands on her hips. “You’re such a typical man.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“No idea about where the specific destination is. No map. No asking for help.”

“Well, there’s not exactly a map of the Forbidden Forest is there? And I’m sorry Kettleburn’s not out here just waiting to tell two students engaged in wildly prohibited activity just where to find what they’re looking for.”

“You could’ve scouted this in advance.”

“Because me wandering around where I don’t even have class wouldn’t be suspicious _at all_.”

“You should’ve sent Remus.”

“First of all I don’t ‘send’ my friends anywhere. They agree to help or not as the case may be. And in Remus’s case, as you could probably see, he wasn’t exactly well.”

“This is sloppy, James. We’re lost in the woods with our troops spread thin.”

“I’ll let you plan our next black op then. I’m sure you’ll deliver an absolute master class.”

“I’m not saying that I should plan it…”

“Then why don’t you quit griping and complaining about the one who did. We’re not lost. I know exactly which direction we’re heading.”

Lily threw up her hands. “If you say so.”

They’d moved at least a few hundred yards before James started to lose his patience. “This fucking lantern in these fucking woods, and a fucking playpen we ought to have found by now.” Lily stared at him, crossing her arms and looking quite satisfied with herself. “We’ll just hook back and hope we find it. It’s got to be in this range.”

A few minutes later, James crouched, setting the lantern down and raising his right fist in the air.

“I didn’t realize you studied the muggle military,” Lily whispered, a tinge of laughter in it.

“Do you hear that?”

“The sound of leaves in the wind?”

“No. The metallic sound. It’s tough in the wind, but listen.” Both stayed stock still until they heard the light rattle again, accompanied by a faint dragging. “This isn’t good,” James said as he stood up and began sneaking through the trees in the direction of the noise. When they reached the pen no one was there. But no thing was there either. “Bastards! Get out the mirror.”

Lily tugged it out from her coat and tapped it. “Marlene?”

“You don’t have to tap it,” James said. “Just try a bit louder.”

“Marlene?”

“Yeah,” she said. “What?”

“The Red Caps are already gone.”

“No chance. I’ve watched this line the entire time.”

“A tunnel. One of the extra passages. Shit,” James said. “How fast can you get back inside?”

“With or without getting caught?” Marlene asked.

“Without, please,” Lily said. She set down the mirror in for an aside with James. “Where do we send – and everyone else?”

“Not everyone else. Sirius and Peter. They’re the easiest to believe would be randomly out at night.”

“And where do we go?”

“Back to Gryffindor Tower. As fast as possible.”

“So we run?”

“It’s not ‘running’ per se. We need to have plausible deniability. If this was a set-up–“ 

“–if it was a set-up the last thing we need is them knowing more people are involved.”

“If it’s _not_ a set-up we need to be as far away from it as we can.”

“You should go. With Marlene. Find Sirius and the two of you should do it.”

“Lily, you’re brilliant, but this isn’t your thing. If my hands are on this, the whole thing’s dead. It’s over. We can’t take that chance,” James insisted.

“Where the fuck am I going? Sirius _and_ Peter?” Marlene shouted, sounding very much out of breath. Lily picked up the mirror and checked it again. “Hey, Lily. Nice of the two of you to rejoin us. Oh _fuck_.”

“What’s going on?” Lily asked, panicked.

Marlene was silent. They heard some jostling and the mirror went black.

Lily started to call out when James covered her mouth. She shoved him back. “What the hell are you doing?” she yelled. “They’ve got Marlene.”

“You don’t know that. And if they do she’s at least had the sense to hide the mirror.”

Suddenly they could hear voices again. “Ms. McKinnon, can you explain why I would find you skulking about the school at such an uncommon hour. Mr. Black or Mr. Potter – one of their lot – I would understand. Rulebreakers, you see. It’s why I haven’t extended the same invitation I did to his colleague, Miss Evans…”

“Slughorn!” Lily said brightly. “That’s half a lucky break!”

“It’s our – that is Lily and my – roommate, sir,” Marlene bluffed, “she’s just had her sister’s wedding this summer and her parents are trying to settle her down as well. It’s not gone over well and she’s constantly crying. I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“It’s quite odd that you would be so out-of-breath if you were merely walking the castle…”

“If I may, sir…”

“Yes, yes, of course. Go ahead.”

“Well…respectfully, sir, I was in a bit of a rush to avoid your attention.”

“Ah. Well. Quite right to I suppose. Well, I’ll have to deduct points for this. Twenty-five sounds about right. You understand.”

“Yes, professor. I’ll stick to our common room again next time. I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the better of me.”

“You would do well to stay indoors. Need I escort you back to your house?”

“No, sir. I’ll make my way back immediately.”

“Excellent. That makes my night then. An hour early it appears, but I’m sure you’d agree it’s wisest that we keep the matter between us.”

“Yes. Absolutely. Have a good rest of your night, sir.”

A minute or so later, Marlene’s face sprung back into the mirror. “Thanks for all the chit-chat idiots.”

“Just go get Sirius and Peter. The Slytherins are somewhere,” Lily said, “we’ll see what we can do on our end.”

“And where am I supposed to send the two of them?”

“They must be downstairs. Maybe trying something on the Hufflepuffs. It’s not far from the safety of their own common room,” Lily said.

“Right,” Marlene said. “I’ll have the snake-haters wander the dungeons.” She rolled her eyes.

“They’ve pranked them before,” she insisted, “they do it all the time. Just do it okay?”

“Over and out, General Evans,” Marlene said with a salute.

Lily turned to James as he stood, heading for the castle as fast as he could walk. “Did you put her up to that?”

“What?”

“That ‘General Evans’ business.”

He laughed. “It’s a coincidence, I promise.”

They walked in silence as they crossed the grounds, circling around to a grate Lily had never seen in the ground on the same side of the castle. James prodded the ground with his wand and it slid open. “Stand guard. I’ll go in first.”

Lily nodded.

James lit his wand as he descended, showing Lily the ladder she’d need to climb down. This route was a grimy one. Grimy and unstable. But it was also the most direct and one that James could be sure Snape’s cronies _hadn’t_ taken. Whatever they’d managed to do with the Red Caps, there was no way in hell they’d smuggled them through here. If they’d exerted whatever control as Ellie described, a path with a strong stench all its own was not the place for them.

“Come on,” he said, looking up and beckoning Lily in.

Once she had her whole body beneath the grate, James poked his wand into the mortar behind the broken stub of brick to his left, causing the entrance suddenly slide back into position. Apparently, this wasn’t something Lily had anticipated because the next thing he knew, her wand had smacked him in the face and she’d gone a few rungs down in a hurry.

“Ow. God,” she said.

James looked up to see her wand arm well-scraped and her left knee weak as she climbed down, clearly favoring the right. He waited for her at the bottom to see what needed tending to. They were in a hurry, but it wouldn’t do any good if she couldn’t move like it. As Lily stepped down he saw her wince and stepped forward to help. As she turned, he realized he’d gotten too close, but despite her injuries she turned too fast for him to step away. He found himself face-to-face with her, their noses almost touching.

“Sorry…” he said, standing where he was. Doubtless they were close enough that she felt it as well as heard it and he felt himself flush a bit before stepping away. “I can help you,” he said, “That’s why I uhh…stepped up so close.”

“You didn’t need an excuse,” she said. James’s eyes widened like saucers and she must’ve noticed because she quickly clarified. “I mean I understood why you were right there.” He was curious as Lily seemed flustered, but she didn’t continue.

“Sit on the last rung that’s comfortable,” he said, handing her wand back to her and extinguishing his own.

“How can you see me to fix anything?” she huffed.

“I can see what I need to,” James answered, his wand glowing as it had when he’d fixed his ankle and as he guided her to stretch her leg backward and forward, it was obvious the spell had worked for her as well. James lit his wand again. “We’ll have to leave the scrapes ‘til we’re back in the common room. I’ll fix you up.”

“I can handle that much, you know.”

James turned back to look at her as they trudged on. “I know you can. But I want to take care of you seeing how it’s my fault it happened.”

* * *

Roughly twenty minutes later. Marlene was the first to get back to the common room and she was absolutely going to be on Lily’s ass about what she’d seen. The blonde girl had poked her head through the portrait hole to find Lily and James beside each other on the couch. He was holding one of her arms – Marlene didn’t care which – gently in his hand and casting a healing spell over what appeared to be a nasty scrape on her arm. Her arm was near her body and James was close – God the two were adorably close for a pair of complete idiots.

“Hey! Super scouts!” She’d seen them jerk their heads up in response before and certainly expected it, but this time Lily raised her head normally while James looked sidelong at Marlene as he continued to work. “How about that spectacular plan of yours?”

James was concentrating, but she’d caught his brief eye roll. “At least you got to have a nice chat with Slughorn,” he said.

“Yes. While freaking the fuck out inside about what was happening with everybody else.”

“You sounded pretty smooth to me,” Lily said. “It was impressive.” She looked back down at her forearm and Marlene noticed a slight smile cross her friend’s face. “I think it’s okay now, James.”

James sat up and pocketed his wand. “Sorry again.”

“I told you before you don’t have to apologize for me almost falling down a ladder.”

A minute later the rest of the group practically fell in. The boys were literally tangled up as they pushed to exit the portrait hole, but they somehow managed to keep their feet as each climbed in.

“Bloody disaster, that was,” Peter panted.

Sirius looked around them, shaking his head. “No clue, Prongs. Either they were trying to bait out us or Ellie or they’ve somehow managed to keep the lot of them tucked away some place.”

“Or places,” Marlene said. “What are the odds you think that there are enough unused closets, rooms, and what not that they could keep them separately?”

“About nil,” Sirius said, pushing his head back off his forehead. “We know just about every nook and cranny of this place and there aren’t many places Filch doesn’t use or at least check–“

“And certainly not enough to stash away eight Red Caps, silent and not under constant control.”

Lily leaned back into the couch, picking her head up for a moment to tuck her hair behind her so it was mushed all over the cushion. “Maybe they are under constant control,” she said. She counted on her fingers for a moment. “From what we know, they’ve got at least one person for each of the Red Caps. And if whatever they’re using makes them more docile, or at least cooperative, for a while then there’s not much reason that they couldn’t re-administer it throughout the day.”

“That’s clever,” James said, smiling and turning his head to look at Lily. “As long as we do our best to keep eyes on them throughout the day we should be able to figure it out.”

“Right.”

Marlene took a deep breath. “Look, I don’t mean to shit on your brilliance, but that’s an awful big ask between school and activities and rounds and eating and–“

“It’s been a hell of a burden to keep people feeling as if they’re safe for as long as we have.”

Remus took the brief silence to pipe up. “With due respect to the both of you, Marlene is right. You’ve carried on with it on your own long enough. It’s not just the Dark Mark showing up in the school twice. You need to talk to Dumbledore.”

James tossed his hands up. “He wants us to take care of it.”

“All of it? Really? Lily, I have to say I can’t believe you haven’t pushed this already.”

“James is right. Dumbledore picked us to handle these kind of things. He’s constantly getting dragged to the Ministry for this or that and–“

“–and he’s the powerful wizard in the world and perhaps the wisest. You need his help.”

Lily and James exchanged glances. “Yeah. Alright,” he said. “We’ll see him tonight.”

“Tonight?” Lily asked, incredulous.

“I was stupid about this. We should’ve told him before. I was way too…not something I’d have thought I’d be saying a couple of years ago, but I was too reckless.”

“It’s not just you…” Lily said.

“I’m going to go get dressed. Probably get the dirt off too, but I’ll meet you down here in twenty?”

Lily nodded. “I need to do the same.”

* * *

Fully dressed in their uniforms, Lily and James made their way to the Headmaster’s Office. As the only students he’d trusted with the password, they were able to ascend the staircase, knocking at the closed door. Lily had expected multiple efforts or at least a delay, but Dumbledore opened the door without delay.

“Miss Evans. Mister Potter. At this hour I take it that this is a matter of great significance?”

“Yes, sir,” said Lily.

“Come in then,” he said, gesturing to his desk. “Now, what is the nature of the problem?”

Lily jumped in immediately, which seemed to surprise James. “We think some students smuggled in Professor Kettleburn’s Red Caps tonight.”

“Hmm. I don’t think I’ve heard a more interesting accusation in my many, many years in this office. I assume that you do have evidence?”

“Sir,” James started, “we…received information from a reliable source that something was going to happen to hurt other students.”

“And based on that,” Lily continued, “we determined that it was going to be an attack of some kind with the Red Caps. We think they’re being kept somewhere in the castle until the time is right.”

“This information that led to your deduction, Miss Evans, where did it come from?”

“Another student. She’s been involved with this group causing the problems.”

“Not _been_ involved,” James said quickly. “She offered to _get_ involved to help us. Give us intelligence. So based on that we conducted a sort of…operation…tonight and it turns out the Red Caps are missing. None of us could find them and we didn’t want to disturb you, but the others convinced us it was important.”

“With the imminent threat of physical violence, especially of this order, I would have hoped that neither of you would require convincing to see me. Pride is, as Gryffindors, a great source of our strength, but also perhaps our greatest weakness. On its own it creates quite a few problems, as I’m sure the both of you know,” he said, giving each of them a knowing look, “But it also has a tendency to blind us to our other shortcomings as well.”

Both looked down.

“The students involved?”

“Snape. Avery. Mulciber. Regulus Black. Hemsworth. Slaughter. Burke. And Ellie Benton.”

“Astrid?”

“Right,” James said.

Dumbledore smiled. “I will suppose from your familiarity that she is your source?”

“Yes, sir,” said James.

“I see. And she can confirm this group? What they have been planning?”

James nodded.

“Very well. I believe it best to leave her in place for now. As for these creatures in our halls, I can assure you that myself and the other professors will make sure they are dealt with.”

“Thank you, sir,” Lily said.

Dumbledore walked to his window and after a few moments of silence, both she and James turned to leave.

“Miss Evans? Mister Potter?” The pair turned to face him. “I appreciate everything each of you has done to this point. I am certain your fellow classmates will appreciate at some point later everything you have done and everything you will continue to do.”

They both gave weak smiles. “Thank you, professor.”

“Ahh. In unison,” he said as he breathed deeply. “I hope you both sleep well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter became longer than I’d originally intended, but obviously the ball needed to continue to be advanced not only with the Snape side-quest, but James/Lily as well. My goal was to allow the first to effectuate the second and hopefully that panned out. I wound up having to add the last sections because no matter what I wrote without Dumbledore, I kept coming back to the fact that it just wasn’t believable for them to keep trying to do all of this on their own. His involvement is not going to end the side-plot or its continued impact on this final fifth or so of the story though. I expect maybe there to be about fifteen to twenty chapters until we reach the finish of the story so I hope you’ll continue the ride with me. It’s been long and fun.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	56. Who Goes First?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'In the forest I was brilliant. Then I was clever. Now I'm charming?'

Lily found herself eating an early breakfast with Marlene and Alana the morning of the quidditch match. Thankfully after Filch had ‘discovered’ one of the Red Caps during an early morning cleaning the week prior, Dumbledore had been able to nullify that particular threat, cautioning students against ‘the weakness of certain restraints’ and ‘the need to always be alert of the effects too casual use of magic can have during and outside classes’. She was oddly hungry this morning. Usually lunch was the time she felt the slightest hint of a pang in her stomach, but today it was as if she’d woken up that way. Perhaps that was why she had two waffles, a bowl of fruit and was working on her second glass of orange juice having already eaten a lemon and poppy seed muffin.

Leaving Marlene to her shower, she and Alana had chattered relatively mindlessly about school and her plans to work with her mother. Lily didn’t have the heart to tell her just how much she’d already heard before, but it was easier to let Alana do the talking when she was in such a mood anyway.

“Marlene said she’d be a while…” Alana said.

“Huh?”

“I knew you weren’t listening,” her friend said, though she was still smiling. “Anyway, Marlene said she’d be a while, so you don’t have to keep checking the door for her.”

Lily scrunched her face. “I’m not checking the door for her. I’m not even checking the door.”

Alana raised her eyebrows. “Okay…”

It wasn’t much later that James and Sirius walked in, Peter in tow. Remus had rounds last night so it was no surprise he was sleeping in, but she noticed the two fitter boys were already clad in their quidditch gear.

Lily wrinkled her nose. “Why are they already wearing that when the match isn’t for hours?”

“Their uniforms?” Alana asked. “They do that every game. You’ve just noticed.”

“No. Of course not. I just still don’t understand it.”

“Uh huh.”

“What?”

“You just noticed.”

“Whatever,” Lily said, shoving an oversized chunk of cantaloupe into her mouth.

While she chewed, her eyes drifted back to the boys, who were as boisterous as ever, shoveling an enormous amount of food onto their plates before bumping their fists together and laughing. It was no wonder Peter had fattened up since the two made the house team years ago she thought as she watched him follow suit.

Marlene chose that moment to walk in and sidled up to Lily with a smirk on her face. “Enjoying the view?”

“What? Oh. Hey, Marlene!”

“Hey there. You look nicer than usual,” she commented, looking Lily up and down from her perfectly straightened hair to her tight jeans tucked into her polished leather riding boots. "For quidditch anyway."

“Jeans and a house tee over a long-sleeve shirt?”

“ _Those_ jeans. Your whole outfit really. Anyway, like I said, it’s nice. You look cute.”

Lily watched her exchange a glance with Alana. Both girls came away smiling. She’d been so busy with everything lately she wondered if she’d missed out on some inside joke, but she decided not to bring it up. Instead she contented herself with gobbling up her meal while poking herself into Marlene and Alana’s conversation enough times to seem interested.

“Hey, I think I’m going to go to the library before we head down. With everything going on I’m a bit behind in Charms – plus I need to work on McGonagall’s scrap.”

“The library, Lily? On Saturday morning?” Marlene asked.

“Yes, I have to get caught up.”

“In Charms?” Alana added, eyebrow quirked in suspicion.

“Yes, in Charms!” Lily huffed. “I have Slughorn’s do on Thursday anyway so there’s all my time before Friday.”

“Okay,” Marlene said, “if that’s what you think you need to spend your time on far be it from me to stop you from returning to fanatical levels of studying.”

Lily got up with a scowl and headed for the Tower to grab her books, ready to focus on schoolwork again after having so much of her time absorbed in her wartime duties as Head Girl. As she walked by, James’s eyes met hers and he popped a half-smile, raising his hand off the table which she supposed was about as much as she could expect if she didn’t want him to get stick from his friends. As she strode on toward the exit she felt his eyes follow her. She couldn’t be absolutely certain but–

“Oi! Prongs! I hope you pay better attention in the match today or you might just get bludgered square on the head again!”

Sirius.

She liked to believe it was her distracting him. _Fuck_. Charms, Lily. Fucking Charms.

* * *

“Ravenclaw have developed an incredible advantage today off the back of disastrous performances by Brinkley and Chamberlain. They’ve left Potter isolated up top as Ravenclaw’s high pressure tactics have left Gryffindor tossing the quaffle long. Through he’s still proven himself capable of striking with venom, accounting for all but three of Gryffindor’s goals, Potter’s already been more than a bit bludger-battered and working off the back of an injury suffered at practice you have to be concerned about how long that can continue. And there’s another goal for Ravenclaw through their captain, Ashley Armister, as her team continues to approach that snitch-proof barrier. It’s 250-130.”

James was livid. How many times had they practiced this? How many fucking times?

“It’s O’Shea up top to Potter who dodges Armister. Outside to Brinkley who’s walloped by Compton and play passes to Ravenclaw again. Stevenson accelerates to the left side and you can see the play developing through the center an upside rotation to Armister who is burying Gryffindor with goals on top of her tactical master class. Black whacks a bludger in her direction – an exquisite stroke – but dodged and she looks to be clean through on goal…”

James roared through at full speed past his bewildered teammates flashing a scowl at Sirius as he blazed beyond his own beaters. He was putting a stop to this bullshit. Within touch of Armister, he grabbed her tail as she shot, sending it high and shoved her for good measure as he flew by.

“And _wow_. Potter, the least penalized player this season, is going to catch _three_ here. Good fortune only one penalty shot’s allowed as he’s whistled for blagging, blatching, _and_ cobbing Armister with tensions threatening to boil over for the red and gold.”

“You can all get medicine for your food poisoning later!” he yelled. “They want to push, quit taking it like little shitbags and push the fuck back!”

As the Ravenclaws took their positions for the penalty, James shoved Craig off to the left and pointed to the spot he wanted Maggie, flying over to make sure she got the specific place. The whistle blew and Ashley fired, saved by Stan. James waited at the base this time, with Ashley remaining next to him, her fellow chasers creeping up as Stan held the ball increasingly close to the time limit.

“That was childish,” she sniped.

“Kept you from scoring didn’t it?” James shot back before patting his chest, demanding the quaffle. He turned his back, not bothering to see Stan wide-eyed and disturbed. He shook his head tossed it high for James who was, if anything, farther away from Ashley than before with Craig and Maggie impossibly distant for any quick pass.

“Unbelievable mistake from O’Shea! He doesn’t even wait for Potter to take off before tossing the quaffle, tossing it short at that–“

James kicked forward and flipped over, flying upside down underneath Ashley before twisting around and shooting directly upward. This would flip her the fuck out or he’d owe Stan a serious apology. Eyes locked on the quaffle–

“Armister waiting for the abysmal pass from O’Shea – a sure goal on the toss-in whichever way she chooses–“

James shot in and grabbed the ball right out of the air, enjoying Ashley’s stunned face as he swung back forward, completing his ‘U’ around her. Everyone distant, James dodged panicked bludgers as Maggie and Craig slid over to accommodate to rightward flight by the Gryffindor stand. He waved his arms up, still holding the quaffle to rouse them with great success. He felt the heat of Ravenclaw pursuers and tossed the quaffle up to himself as he jumped higher. He heard a grunt from Ashley as she tried to stop, narrowly managing it as she kicked by off the stand to re-join the match. James’s pass to Maggie was casual and the exchange with Craig easy for a goal. 

“I don’t…we haven’t seen something like that in all the years at Hogwarts I imagine! Off the back of O’Shea’s save…struck by the curse of the commentator…Armister furious as she pushes her team into recovery mode with Gryffindor on the press now, she had to kick off the stand to avoid a collision. With Potter back in play as well, Chamberlain and Brinkley are certainly working the angles now as Gryffindor run up three with Ravenclaw struggling to cope with a reversal of their own tactics against them.”

The match ended, albeit it narrowly, in Gryffindor’s favor and after the standard post-match applause for the fans, James flew down and sent his team to the showers as Ashley waited on the ground at midfield wearing the scariest face he’d seen on a girl – including Lily.

“Fuck you!” she yelled immediately. “I swear, Potter. _Fuck you_!”

“Sorry, Ash. I’m just not that into you.”

“You’re a real bastard you know that? I thought you were better than tactical fouls and taunting.”

“Getting my housemates fired up is taunting, is it? Didn’t see you discouraging your teammates from celebratory fly-bys. As for the foul…fouls is right I guess even for the one incident…you know I rarely foul.”

“You should’ve been sent off.”

James laughed. “For what? Blatching? Intent is in the rule if you forgot the rulebook.”

“Three fouls in a play! What you did was beyond what they characterize as flagrant!”

“I guess it’s not,” James shrugged, “judging by today anyway.”

“Really? Not even an ounce of shame. I thought you Gryffindors were all about honor,” Ashley spat.

“We all do our best, Armister. But even the best of us slip up. Isn’t that right?” Ashley reddened, looking as if she was about to blow a gasket. “That’s right, I saw you. Kept it in confidence, you know…out of professional courtesy.”

“Helping out a third-ye–“

“Don’t you mean _handing_ out?”

“Fuck you, James.”

“I’ll keep my mouth shut, Armister. But I’m not going to stay here and get lectured about honor. Have a great Saturday.”

* * *

Lily was sitting near one of the windows in the common room when James got back from the bathroom. James noticed she’d changed into sweats and thrown her hair into a ponytail. Everybody was going crazy around her, asking Sirius what he thought the night would hold, but she managed to focus somehow on whatever it was she was doing. Or at least pretend to focus.

 _He_ waded through the crowd, giving the smiles and getting the slaps on the back. Listening the yells about how his stock had to be top-five now. Until he got to her.

“Charms?” James asked.

Lily’s head snapped up. “James? Oh…yeah. I’m behind you know…”

He shook his head. “The fuck you’re behind. And if you are there’s no way you’re getting back ahead in that mess.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

James leaned in, trying to hear her better as the crowd got increasingly raucous. “Huh?”

“I said what am I supposed to do?” she yelled.

“How about shut the book and have fun?” he yelled back.

“Not happening!”

“Then come on!” James took her hand, pulling her up and leading her through the crowd. Once inside, he turned to face her. “Charms, Lily? Seriously? What’s going on with you?”

“I want to work on Charms!” she said.

“You’re charming enough as is.” James didn’t panic, but he panicked. That was not what he should’ve said.

Lily smiled. “In the forest I was brilliant. Then I was clever. Now I’m charming?”

“Well when you put it like that…I know where you can study,” he finished hurriedly. He needed to get her to study before he said anything else stupid. Leading her to the fourth floor, he stopped her in front of the large mirror where Sirius had been stationed. “Remember where I told Sirius to watch?”

She nodded.

James muttered a spell and slipped through the center, which had become membranous. “Come on,” he called out from inside. “it’s just like the platform.”

After a few moments Lily was standing beside him in a passage not much wider than the passage they’d taken from under the grate. James slipped his wand into his pocket and knocked on the back to make sure the thing had sealed up again. Walking ahead of her, he stepped into a much larger space, presenting her a room that was about the same size as her bedroom at home. There were a couple of desks, a handful of books on a dilapidated shelf, quills, ink, and rolls of parchment spread across what had to be a table.

“I…I can’t believe this,” she sputtered.

“We may or may not plan things in here. Planned anyway. Not much pranking to be had anymore.”

“You miss it don’t you?”

James stared at the table. “Yeah. I mean, I loved it. Way things are now though…there’s just not the time…everyone’s too on edge all the time. Can’t always hold on to the things you love, right?”

“Like quidditch?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. Like the Academy?”

She stared at him. “I don’t know either.”

“Maybe it’s like you said before…we shouldn’t give up everything that makes us happy. I keep wondering whether I could live like that. But I might still feel guilty about not fighting, you?”

“Yeah,” she said, lowering her head.

James walked over to the nearest desk. “So Charms…good a desk as any right here. I always liked the space. Book to the left, not the top.”

“I like that,” she said. As she walked up, she bumped into James as he made to pull out the chair for her.

“Sorry,” he said.

“I’ve told you to stop saying that,” Lily answered, failing to move away from him.

“Right…”

“James?”

He could feel her breath on him as she said it. His mind flew back to the pitch. To the walk to the pitch. He grabbed her by the back of the head, and leaned down, kissing her. His heart buzzed, consumed with her, half-joy, half-nerves. Then she kissed him back. He lost track before their mouths finally left each other. He leaned down, his forehead on hers. He was glad she was smiling because Merlin knew he was.

“I didn’t know if you’d ever do that,” she laughed. “Or if I’d finally lose control of myself.”

“Been waiting, yeah?”

“Since that day I almost did it on the walk before our lesson.”

“Me too. All this bullshit…”

Lily put her finger over his mouth. “That doesn’t come in here okay?”

“Yeah…”

“Kiss me again, Potter.”

“Happy to, Evans.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There you go! JAMES & LILY! I know you’ve waited an egregious amount of time for this and hopefully you thought there was enough build-up to it in recent chapters, especially post-letter-burning. I tried to make some other connections, some more oblique or metaphorical on top of the interactions themselves. I’m interested in what you think, as well as in particular the distance from the conversations between James and Remus and Lily and her friends.
> 
> Before anyone comments about realism on the quidditch match and James’s moves, I know I usually ask for all kinds of feedback, but James is the Messi of his generation for purposes of this fic. He is a legend and can do god-like things on a broom. If you think the format or whatever was bad – go for it – but leave James’s moves and skills out of it.
> 
> I hope you’re really enjoying the story! The relationship (as promised ages ago) isn’t going to be perfect, but I think its progression will satisfy (at least I hope it does since that’s what you’re really here for).  
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	57. Now What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I put myself out there yesterday.'
> 
> '...Did you mean it?'

Lily had stayed in the room with James making out in the striped oversized chair that was shoved in the opposite corner from the desk where it all began. She’d shoved him off after a touch over an hour insisting on actually studying Charms. Complaining that he’d be too distracting, she’d sent him back to the throngs of adoring fans. They wound up having dinner at different times and though they tried to get moments alone at the party that night, it never lasted long before another student came up to drive him crazy or Sirius dragged him off to dance with a pack of girls, one of whom she was sure Sirius was trying to sleep with. James rolled his eyes in her direction when it all started and she smiled as he awkwardly tried to extricate himself from any of the girls who tried to get too…personal. As she wandered up to her room early with Marlene and Alana though, it did tug at her mind that they hadn’t actually discussed what all of it had meant.

“You disappeared for a while,” Alana commented as she changed, “where’d you go to study?”

“The library. Where else would I go to study if I wasn’t in here?”

“Good question!” her friend chirped. “I went there to drag you out when I found out what happened and guess who was nowhere to be found?”

Marlene kicked off her shoes. “So wait, she didn’t actually go study?”

“Not there anyway. Which means if she _did_ go study she’s lying about where it happened.”

“I went to the Restricted Section. There was a book on the advanced intersections of charms and defensive magic. Fortunately, with my track record, Pince doesn’t take too much persuading.”

“Uh huh,” Marlene answered, “I might have to come with to read up myself. It sounds like it could have a lot of applications as an Auror. Where’s the rack?”

“Oh. Rack 7L I think.”

“Hah!” she said, making a loud clap for emphasis as she pointed at Lily. “You were _not_ in the Restricted Section!”

“I was too. Rack 7L.”

“Now you’re certain? Nope. You don’t ‘think’ a book is somewhere. You _know_. So drop the rehearsed answer and spill it.”

Alana crossed her arms, staring at her as she stood still in her pajama bottoms. “Yeah, Lily. Do tell.”

Lily scowled at Marlene before looking over at Alana and pausing.

“Please. They’re nothing you haven’t seen before. But I’ll indulge you,” Alana laughed, picking up the matching top out of her trunk and slipping it on. “Ready now?”

“Fine. I _was_ trying to study away as far as I could get from all the noise without you two accusing me of being a wet blanket by heading up here. James just helped me get out of there and find a quieter space.”

“James helped you off to a ‘quieter space’?”

“God. See, I knew you two would be like this.”

Marlene smirked, almost standing over Lily who’d sat herself down on the bed. “Come the fuck on, Lily.”

“He did. It was this place where he and his comrades planned their pranks…”

Both her roommates looked at her with raised eyebrows. “ _And_ …?” Marlene pressed.

“He may have kissed me.”

“He kissed you?” Alana yelped. “That’s so great! Merlin, Lily why would you hide that?!”

Marlene winked. “Didn’t stop there did it?”

Lily blushed. “We made out for like…an hour. But I _did_ study and sent him on his way back.”

“I knew she snuck off and snogged him.”

“So are you two like…a couple?” Alana asked.

Lily looked at her comforter. “We didn’t actually talk about that.”

“Because you shoved him out the door!” Marlene shouted. “Why in the name of Merlin would you kick him out before you figured that out? He probably thinks you just wanted to break the tension."

“He does not,” Lily said, worried that he actually did.

* * *

“You know Prongsie,” Sirius said, elbowing his friend in the ribs while the continued to pick up the various messes still left around the common room. “You’re lucky this whole thing turned out, seeing as you ditched out and left me to play one-v-two against Remus and Peter.”

“Please. It was a _party_. Like those two would ever win. If Peter even bothered to disagree with you anyway. Moony’s the one who ought to be complaining.”

“Fine. But I think you owe me anyway…seeing as you snuck off hand-in-hand with dearest Lily Flower.”

“Sod off with that nickname. It’s never going to happen.”

“The nickname or Prongsie + Lily Flower?”

James glared, before redirecting his wand toward another stain, hoping that as with the last it wouldn’t take anything more than a simple spell to remove. He did not want to get into this with Sirius right now. First, who knew if he would even take it seriously. Second, who knew how Sirius would take it after his previous displays. Third, who knew what was even going on. It had gone well he thought, the kiss and the ensuing snog, but then she’d just…dismissed him. He’d walked back and filled his role until the party when she showed up. There’d been moments, but that’s all they’d been. Then she turned in just like that, leaving with Marlene and Alana.

“No answer. I see how you’re going to be about it.”

“About what?” Remus asked as he walked back downstairs.

“Prongs doesn’t want to talk about his little adventure with Lilykins after he led her out of the pre-party hand-in-hand.”

“Don’t call her that,” he snapped.

Sirius chuckled, taking a step back and raising his hands to his shoulders in surrender. “So defensive…”

“It’s probably nothing,” Remus said to Sirius while his eyes flicked over to James. “They probably had…business…to discuss.”

“Sounds right. She’s warmed up to him lately, but she’s still a bore.”

James resisted the urge. Maybe he didn’t even need to defend her. They had gotten a lot closer so it felt right, but maybe he was just a seventh-year snog.

“Whatever. She wanted a place to study Charms so I showed her one.”

“I didn’t know she needed directions to the library,” Sirius laughed.

“Not the library you idiot.”

Sirius clenched his jaw. “Prongs…”

“What?”

“You know what. You better not have…”

“Will you just help me finish with this and stop freaking out about nothing?”

Sirius shoved his wand in his pocket, shooting Remus a wild-eyed look. “He did it, Remus! He showed _Lily_ our pranking lair!”

He sprinted out the portrait hole, his long hair flying behind him. Remus took off after him, shooting James a look of his own. A look James knew. A look of pure, unadulterated annoyance. It was fair enough he supposed before bolting off after them. When he got to the mirror, James found it hard despite casting the spell. Luckily nobody else was around to think he was crazy when he started knocking on the mirror.

“Let me in, Padfoot,” James said.

“There’s no way in hell! You let _her_ into our inner sanctum! It even _smells_ like her!”

James rolled his eyes. “It does not smell like her. Just let me in. Remus?”

“You two seem to be having a fine time all on your own.”

“Why’d you even come then? For the amusement?”

“Yes, actually,” the blond wizard said. James could detect the smirk in his voice.

“What did you _do_ , James? Why would you do this?”

“Look, just let me in and we’ll talk about it.”

“You’re just trying to bluff your way in. I’m not falling for it.” James flicked his wand again and this time he was granted entrance. “What the hell, Moony?!” Sirius snapped.

“I was getting tired of you fighting. Besides, if you’re so concerned about Lily – who’s been quite open to adventure this year – knowing about it, imagine how much attention you and James’s yelling back and forth is going to draw. Including _professors_ at this hour.”

“Damn you and your reason, Remus,” Sirius said shaking his head. He rounded on James. “But you. _You_ …” he said, pointing his finger directly in his best friend’s face, “…I can’t _believe_ you.” Sirius threw himself into the chair near the door as if exhausted by the whole ordeal.

“…might not want to sit there for this.”

He sprang up. “Merlin. No. Please tell me I didn’t sit in the site where you and Evans…I can’t even say it.”

“We didn’t have sex you idiot. We did snog though.”

“You. Snogged Lily Evans. Who are you?”

Remus chuckled. “James’s fancied Lily since last year. Before Katie. You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed them this year.”

“Since last year. She’s why you wanted to do those lame fucking pranks isn’t it?” Sirius buried his mouth in one hand, squeezing his chin while pacing the small room. “The world’s upside down! It’s upside down!”

James threw himself into the chair. Lily was really something. He’d had her against the wall…she’d practically driven him into this chair. It had been…and he crashed. It might never happen again. Sirius still looked unhinged, stalking about while Remus watched too. Remus was doing an excellent job of concealing his laughter this time, but in his eyes James could tell he was just about rolling over. James knew a way to bring Sirius back down to Earth.

“You know, Padfoot. Something actually turned my world a bit upside down not so long ago…” His friend jerked up. Mission accomplished.

“Prongs. Don’t you dare.”

He shrugged. “Well it’s only fair that we put all our cards on the table, don’t you think?”

“No. I don’t think it’s fair at all. I think people should have their privacy about their personal matters.”

“Like this degree of privacy?” Remus asked, staring down Sirius.

Sirius scowled. “This is about… _this_ ,” he said, pointing at the ground before waving his hand around the room. “Whether it’s Lily or…whoever. The place has been desecrated.”

“Shut up, Sirius,” Remus said. The most mild-mannered member of their quartet rarely interrupted spats like this – especially the ones between James and Sirius – but his tone told both of them he’d clearly had enough. “We have bigger things to worry about than our prank-planning room or who you’re shagging. We’re probably past due bringing things here actually.”

“I’m not shagging anyone.”

Remus sighed. “Sirius, I don’t give a fuck if you’re shagging the Giant Squid.”

Sirius’s face soured. “That’s disgusting, Moony. That’s beyond Peter’s territory even.”

“It doesn’t matter. Stop being a prat. You two shake hands like men and go back to how things always are between you after whichever of your dramatic outbursts.”

* * *

The next morning, Lily found herself up before the sun. She hadn’t dreamed, which she was both surprised and thankful for. Reaching for her nightstand she grabbed her glass of water and took a long drink. Even in the limited light she could tell from the mirror that she looked like hell. Just because she hadn’t dreamed apparently didn’t mean she’d slept well.

She considered whether she should do anything with herself before having an early breakfast but decided she couldn’t be bothered. If they had a problem with her ponytail and sweats then they could fuck off. Breakfast. Thank God she was going to have an early breakfast. It would give her time to think about how to deal with what had happened before she ran into James. It was best for her to be in a rational state of mind. She’d just been another snog to him and as delightful a snog as it had been, it was obviously just a spur-of-the-moment thing that came out of how close they’d gotten this year.

Once downstairs, she found she wasn’t much hungry and grabbed a muffin, pouring herself a small glass of apple juice to go with it. There was almost literally no one there apart from a batch of Hufflepuffs and a small flock of Ravenclaws toiling away over their textbooks. Why had she told him she had to get to studying Charms all of a sudden? She had him pinned – should’ve kept him that way to get her full enjoyment out of it even if it was all for naught.

And then her thoughts were disturbed. “Hey uhh…do you mind?” he asked, pointing to the seat next to her.

“Yeah. I mean no, you can sit.”

“Early morning, huh?” he mused. What did that mean? Why was he even awake?

“Yeah. I couldn’t sleep well…all the noise I guess.”

“I understand what you mean. There was a lot of clean up.”

“Do you have–“ No. Alana said that would come across as too needy before anything had even been established. “Still high from winning? I thought–“ NO FLATTERY. “It must be something.”

He snorted, staring ahead. “We always seem to fall back to quidditch.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, I guess. It’s just that somehow we always find our way to quidditch. It’s something I’m comfortable talking about with anyone and something you’re comfortable enough to admit you don’t really know.”

“There are other things I can admit not knowing. You don’t exactly put yourself out there if you’re not sure either.” It was her turn to stare off. Why did things always wind up this way between them recently? She’d poured it out to Alana and Marlene and it was just…just a stupid dance they’d fallen into, fumbling around each other. That was something she didn’t know. What the dance meant.

Lily suddenly felt James’s eyes on her and turned to meet his gaze. “I put myself out there yesterday.”

“…Did you mean it?”

“ _Mean it?_ I don’t know what you think, but I don’t just kiss girls for nothing.”

“Why did you do it?” She kicked herself inside. She’d never really cared much about external affirmation.

He raised his eyebrows, eyes widening. “Why? I wanted to. It felt right. I did it because I care about you. I’ve spent the night wondering if you even cared that we did it.”

“Me too,” she admitted.

She saw relief wash over his face and felt it wash over her. She smiled widely. There was something in his hazel eyes she’d only seen yesterday. For a second, she wondered if he’d seen something in hers that pushed him over the edge. She scooted closer and bridged the gap, pressing her lips to his. It was different. Common. Chaste. But he caught her lips with his own before they separated. The feeling it gave her was less visceral than yesterday, but rather more a joy that swelled through her from her stomach to her scalp.

“So, I guess I owe you a bit more than that,” he said with a smile lighting his face, “don’t I?”

“Not here…”

“Not _that_ ,” he laughed. After a pause he grabbed a strawberry scone from the platter in front of her. “Go out with me, Evans?”

“Underneath all that Quidditch Captain stuff, you really are a dork, aren’t you?”

“The dorkiest. Is that a yes?”

She pecked him on the mouth again. “Of course it’s a yes. Though I expect more of a production before Hogsmeade.”

He winked. “I’ll do my best.”

* * *

_I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid._

Severus had stepped into the Great Hall at the precise moment that Lily – _his_ Lily – happiness written all over her face leaned in and kissed _Potter_. It should’ve been him. He’d loved her since he met her. Potter was an arrogant bastard. Scum that abused his gifts. A scofflaw who should’ve been expelled ages ago and would’ve been if not for Dumbledore’s bias and obvious affection for him. How had _he_ become Head Boy?

A word. A sentence he admitted. Her lips would be on his but for a mistake she’d chosen not to forgive him for. Were it anyone else, he could almost forgive the dalliance. They were young. The wizarding world was a unique place to be sure, the way school-age relationships stuck, but she was better. She’d see that he was superior in every way. That he would love her more than anyone else possibly could. More than anyone else could even conceive of.

But she was giving herself to Potter? Baird hadn’t taken. No one had since she was in her fourth year. Since _it_ had happened and Severus was one of the only shoulders she cried on.

_Why would he do that to me, Severus? I loved him._

_He doesn’t see you for who you really are. Not how you deserve._

A hug. A sniffle. _You always make me feel better._

He clenched his wand all the way to the Slytherin table certain that it would shatter underneath the pressure, the weight of his rage. It didn’t. Magic was what he had. _Magic_ – magic more powerful than Potter would ever know – would clear Potter and all the others out of his way. When the school was his, so would she be. Lucius had said it and it had reverberated from him to his group. _Whatever you want. Whoever you want_.

The spell was nearly perfect. Then it would take but a word to kill him. Cruelly and painfully.

Severus shivered. _Nearly_ perfect. He was angry with himself at the lack of progress. Though Lucius and the others had been pleased at its effects they placed it in similar, if lesser, regard to Dolohov’s specialty. It seemed not to be replicable by other wielders. It was all the better. It showed him for what he was. Special. Better. There would be no lesser regard given when he was finished. He would be Great.

“Get out of the way, Snape,” Ashley Armister said, shoving past him with the rest of her team.

She and the rest would be the ones getting out of _his_ way. A meeting would be called to order tonight. They’d been unlucky last time. The old man must’ve gotten a read on someone when he passed by in the halls, listening as he no doubt did to all their thoughts. No matter. He would be away soon enough and it was then his plan would be set into motion. He’d add something special now – a longer game – that would be certain to ruin Potter in Lily’s eyes forever. And he knew just the person to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Obviously the italicized language that opens the last section of the chapter belongs to J.K. Rowling (OOTP). Because I apparently can’t live without James and Lily angst-ing about each other this chapter finally resolved their relationship status if there was any ambiguity in it for you as a reader like there were reasons for them. I hope you enjoyed the friendships and how they tried to help and/or reacted to learning of the snog session. Do you have any idea what Snape’s got in mind? What did you think of his rage and level of possessiveness?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	58. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Growing another horn there Prongsie-boy?'

Monday night meant rounds and sadly, it was the first _real_ time James and Lily would be able to spend alone together. Sunday wound up being mostly meals and sitting around with (largely) exultant friends. The quidditch team loved taunting James about whether playing to the crowd was to impress Lily and a handful of their other housemates all kept asking when the whens and the hows about the situation.

But rounds…rounds they’d have together and they were quite happy about that for a multitude of reasons. After a day full of classes and a dinner James didn’t think he’d ever eaten so hastily, they reunited in the common room. James had tried in vain to mat his hair down, but it just looked a mess – a wetter, uglier mess than usual.

Lily laughed. “Doing your hair special for me are you?”

“Very funny.”

“I give you an O for good intentions. But please don’t ever do that again.”

It was James’s turn to chuckle. “Yeah. I should’ve remembered from all my parents’ soirees. They tried to get me to flatten it out before they realized it was actually untamable.”

“Soirees, huh? Sounds fancy – and pretentious.”

“Consider them your so-called ‘Slug Club’ on steroids.”

“Most of the time that’s just dinner. And intellectually stimulating conversations. _Some_ athletes are invited.”

“So I heard through the mirror,” he said flatly.

“I assume you have semi-formal dress robes? And not the god-awful ones?”

“Yes and yes. Why?”

“Well they’d best be here by Thursday. I should probably take my _boyfriend_ to Slughorn’s little dance, don’t you think?”

“An evening with all _those_ people? God.”

“An evening with me. In a tasteful cocktail dress I’m sure you’ll appreciate.”

James grinned. “I’m in.”

She shook her head. “You were in anyway, just so you know. But we should probably leave the doorway and actually start doing work…”

After stepping out into the hallway, James was happy that the conversations – even if they covered most of the same subjects – were much looser and dove deeper. Still, they were supposed to be dating, right? Inching his way closer to Lily one step at a time, he slithered his hand past her wrist, locking fingers with her on the other side. There was a tiny hitch in her step for a moment as if she was going to insist on decorum, but it passed before they made another full stride. James noticed a smile on her face and there was a little more pep in her step from then on.

“So what’s the story with Sirius?” Lily asked. “People say he’s been frequenting the owlery since school started, but it’s kind of weird since he’s on such awful terms with his parents. Does he write yours or something?” James tried to stop himself, but he burst out laughing, taking his hand out of Lily’s to cover his mouth – at least momentarily. “What’s so funny about that?” she said, putting her hands on her hips.

“No. I’m sorry. It’s just the idea of Sirius owling my parents… _I_ don’t even owl my parents. Unless they write asking why I’m in detention again.”

“Well is he actually creeping off to the owlery more this year or are people just being…people? Or is he…’conquering’ the female population of Hogwarts again?”

“Yes and no. He…I can’t say. It’s something he told me in confidence. You understand I can’t break that, right?”

She nodded. “Of course. I’m sure he’s got his reasons anyway.”

“Yeah. I’m the only one who knows. And I know he’ll never say it’s okay if I ask. How are Marlene and Alana treating you?”

“Merlin…with a thousand questions to go along with their thousand told-you-sos.”

“Told-you-sos huh?”

Lily peered at him sheepishly. “We might’ve talked about you a little after the whole falling incident.”

“A little?”

“Yes…they insisted you were ‘perfect’ for me. I kind-of-sort-of admitted that I _might_ fancy you, but…anyway that’s how _they’re_ doing.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better Remus and I talked about you around the same time. He told me to…” James locked eyes with her “…make sure that I was…serious about us before I did anything.”

“And are you? Serious about us?”

James stopped walking, halting her right along with him. “Honestly?”

“You’d better be.”

“Lily, summer before sixth year, I realized I fancied you. Yeah, it was you that made me want to try and not be such a jackass. You already know the in-between, but yeah, I’m serious. Maybe that’s stupid to say when we’ve been dating for all of a day. But I am.”

Lily smiled. It was an oddly nervous looking smile, but a smile nevertheless. “It’s not stupid. I am too.”

The pair locked hands again as they walked on, sharing stretches of words and silence. James didn’t feel the urgency to fill those gaps like he had before and Lily didn’t seem to constantly need talking either. He felt comfortable, at peace really, for the first time in a good long while. He kept stealing glances in hopes of figuring out whether she felt the same. When she caught him and squeezed his hand he knew they were on the same page.

The next morning, they were both studying when Peter came down – James had his Charms book out while Lily seemed to be poring over Transfiguration.

“See,” she pointed to her book and then flipped his back a few pages. “Right here. You can apply the trigger to any object and in tandem with any subsequent alteration.”

James shook his head. “That’s really brilliant. Wish I’d sorted that out before I stopped pranking.”

“Well I for one am happy you didn’t. The last thing we needed was rodents or something worse blocking up the halls,” she said. “Besides, it’s not as if you’re some slouch at triggers. The cascading sequences you put together – the blocks you inserted too – I hated them, but a part of me couldn’t help but be amazed by them. I mean, we were fourteen and fifteen.”

Peter cleared his throat, leading both of them to turn their heads around for a moment. “Hey, Pete. Remus and Sirius up yet?”

“Not yet. Couldn’t handle waiting anymore and I might as well go write my mum back now. Send her those galleons.”

The boy walked off with his hand in his pocket and frown on his face. “What’s with that?” Lily asked.

James sighed. “Peter’s mum…Peter’s dad walked out when he was ten. Took everything but a pittance he left for Peter’s school stuff. His mum doesn’t want to ‘demean herself’ or ‘embarrass the family’ by applying for Ministry Aid so Peter has to find things to do with her being in and out of work. Apparently, she’s out right now.”

“I had no idea.”

“Yeah. I mean, he doesn’t really keep it a secret, but he tries to make sure it’s not obvious. We’ve offered to help loads of times, but he’s got this thing where he has to do it himself. I think it’s really for his sister. You know, so she has someone consistent in her life even though he’s away. He always writes her. His mum only writes when she needs money.”

“What does he even do while we’re in school though?”

“He’s a fence. Banned materials mostly.”

“He sells banned materials?”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t hear me. It’s pretty much just fireworks, certain plants, potion ingredients so people can make fixes if they screw up in class…that sort of thing.”

“I never heard that,” she said.

James smiled. “Thanks. I promise he doesn’t cause trouble with it.”

“Who doesn’t cause trouble with what?” Sirius asked. “And James why is…bloody hell, you’re using each other’s books already aren’t you?”

“Really?” Lily teased. “How could you tell?”

“I see Lily Flower is feisty this morning.” Lily looked exceedingly irritated. “That’s James’s favorite nickname for you. He’s just too shy to use it yet.”

“Sod off, Padfoot.” James turned to Lily. “It’s _not_ my nickname for you.”

“Oh, I already knew that. You’re not that sappy…or,” she glared at Sirius, “that stupid.”

“I still say it suits you,” Sirius said. “Can you two shut the books and come to breakfast?”

“Yeah, I don’t see why not,” James said, handing Lily her book back and standing up.

“I’m just going to take this upstairs,” Lily said, “I’ll be right back, though fair warning I might have friends in tow.”

James nodded. “Sure.” He watched Lily as she walked away. It had always been there, but he hadn’t felt animalistic about it until they’d snogged. God her body. He felt a stir.

“Growing another horn there, Prongsie-boy?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Crazy as she is, can’t say as I blame you.”

“Sirius, I’m about to punch you in the face.”

“See that was your first mistake. _Telling_ me.”

“She’s not crazy,” James said, rolling his eyes, “And quit perving on my girlfriend,” he added before punching Sirius in the shoulder.

Sirius blanched as the red-haired witch walked back up alone. She glanced at James. “I’m glad I was able to satisfy one of you.” James went bright red. “We’ll talk about _that_ later,” she whispered before grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the door.

By Tuesday, the Hogwarts population, professors included, still didn’t seem to know quite what to make of Lily Evans walking down the hall holding hands with James Potter. She’d spent five years hating the bloke and now she was his _girlfriend_? Stone had been…Stone. Mildly irritated at the interruption the gawking had on his ‘lesson’ for the day. Slughorn was curious. Flitwick…amused? Professor McGonagall was the only one who seemed completely stoic and James wasn’t sure if that was more of her normal ‘having a bad day’ mood or if it was a reaction all its own. Listening to the buzz for the two days or so, the one thing everyone seemed to agree on was that the two Heads looked indisputably happier. Whether they thought it boded well for rule enforcement or in general varied, but James wasn’t going to waste any time with that bullshit.

That afternoon James sauntered down to the pitch to meet Lily. Sirius tried to worm his way into the mix, claiming the pair needed a chaperone – a proposal that was quickly withdrawn before either James or Lily even bothered to rule on it. He was looking forward to flying with her. They were too old for the excessive PDA or switching seats to be by their sweetheart, but they did have something. For now, this, though he was sure that Lily would cook up something all her own – and that Sirius and the rest of the lads would be bound to join them on the pitch at every opportunity. Whatever happened, he didn’t want Lily to get bored.

Clad in the practice jersey he’d tugged on over his sweater, he emerged from the locker room to find Lily hovering several feet off the ground. The days were getting shorter, but fortunately today had been a sunny one, leaving enough light for them to fly for a bit as the sun set the Gryffindor stand ablaze. Given she was resting at field level, the brightest of its rays didn’t make it, but James found it all the better, the gentler light that filtered through sharpening the coppery tones of her red hair.

“Are you done gawking?” she asked, teasing him.

James blinked. “Not my fault you’re distractingly gorgeous.” Without any further hesitation, he kicked off the ground, soaring until he was doubtless only a dot to her, before diving hard and swinging back around to land at her feet.

“Let’s _not_ add that to today’s curriculum.”

“Just warming up,” he said. “You want to try flying higher or faster today?”

“Why do I have to pick between the two parts that freak me out?”

“Because if you can’t floo or apparate, you might want to be able to make it in less than ten hours. And clear the trees.”

“That’s not nice, James,” she frowned.

“I’m in instructor mode. Sometimes the truth hurts.”

Her face hardened. “Well then, Instructor Potter, it seems like _you_ should be choosing instead of letting your biases affect your training plan.” James restrained a laugh. Lily broke down into multiple. “Fine…let’s fly higher.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As the chapter’s titled, I wanted you to have a little James/Lily fluff with a side of corny jokes. I didn’t want to make it a story-within-the-story so that’s the reason for the shorter chapter, but you’ll some additional happiness from the duo in the next chapter before any challenges set in for their relationship – and there will be some challenges – a major one in particular.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	59. Clubbin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You must be lucky to have such a talented woman in your life.'
> 
> 'Oh I know I'm lucky. Very lucky.'

“How do they get you presentable for these fancy dos you were talking about? Do you have a nanny?”

“That’s just nasty. Is this revenge for Tuesday?”

“No,” she said, fixing him with a stare, “this is me trying to fix you up so you don’t look like an idiot tonight. Or more importantly make _me_ look like an idiot.”

James frowned. “You should just let me do it with magic, Lily. We’d have been done ages ago.”

“Oh? Are you going to use magic in front of my family – _if_ the time comes,” she said, trying to catch herself.

He sighed. “No…but it looked fine before. There was the little knot and the silly notch showed up too.”

“Your ‘little knot’ was microscopic and the end was down to your crotch.”

“Let’s be honest, that’s where it’s meant to point.”

“God, it’s things like this that make me wonder why the hell I accepted that scone. Now try again.”

James measured again as instructed. Well, apparently not quite.

“No, a bit lower still. You don’t want the back sticking out past the front.”

Slipping it in an inch or so down, he crossed the ends of the tie near his top button and flung the front of the tie around.

“That’s sloppy, James! You’re going to get the edge twisted and mess up the knot.”

James threw his hands in the air. “I can’t do this! We’re going to be late!”

Lily scowled. “Fine. I’ll fix it for you. _This time_. You give me flying lessons, I’ll give you tying lessons.”

“Really?” he said as Lily carefully slipped the long end of the tie around before tucking it in.

“Really,” she said, pulling on the back of it until it was settled just so, a knot that filled the space between his collar and a front end that finished just an inch or so north of his belt buckle. James shrugged his jacket on and Lily stood back in front to look at him. “Perfect.” She stood on the tips of her toes to kiss him.

Lily slid her heels back on, bringing her almost to his height. James shook his head. “I don’t know how you manage to walk with those on.”

“Practice. And besides,” she said, watching James’s eyes travel up from them, lingering on her hips, lifted and pushed forward and her breasts, “you don’t seem to mind,” she finished with a smirk. “Do keep your eyes on my _face_ tonight though, won’t you?”

The affair was everything James hoped it would not be. Some of the less fortunate younger students, probably ones who either actually wanted to be here or needed some help with their marks in Potions, were stuck serving food that was only considered classy because you had to demonstrate the superiority of your tongue and stomach to choke it down. Getting yanked around by Lily to talk to people he hadn’t in seven years because he specifically didn’t want to. Having to put up with Regulus Black’s thinly veiled digs at Sirius. He’d been promised a dance and so far he’d been stuck with another pretentious meal with alleged movers-and-shakers to be. Just because Christopher Trimble’s uncle’s cousin’s daughter’s husband had cooked up whatever it was that was so special didn’t make him competent. Let alone special.

James was about to go to the bathroom for the third time when he felt a sharp pinch on his thigh. He winced. Had she just–

“Stop it,” Lily hissed, “you may not care about this, but I do.”

“Quite right, quite right, Regulus. We could all do with transparency from the Ministry. Especially in these times. The things I have heard from your predecessors…” he shivered “…it’s simply not dinner conversation.” Slughorn set down his glass after drinking deeply. “Ah. Levity. Mr. Potter – practically a professional already – who are your suitors?”

The attention suddenly being thrust upon him made James wonder if Lily had some sort of telepathic connection with Slughorn. “Well, sir, I suppose it would be easier to start with who _isn’t_.”

Slughorn laughed. “Very good, very good! I should have expected as much from someone among the top ten prospects in the quidditch world ought I?”

“Oh, I don’t pay too much attention to the magazines. I just love playing.”

“Lily, I’m surprised you didn’t tell me before that Mr. Potter was so secretly humble!”

“Well,” Lily began, “that’s more of a recent development.” The table chuckled.

“Too true, I suppose. Third among us here in the isles. Is there a particular side you’d prefer? I assume you’ll be staying in our league? Or are you planning on plying your trade abroad?”

“Well…I’ve always been a Tornadoes fan. They’re very close to home. It’s really down to the draft though and who knows about that – too much of the season to go.”

“I understand the situation perfectly. You know in 1952 I was fortunate enough to share just such a dinner in just such a room with none other than Byron Shelby. He was the first-choice keeper for the English national team you might remember.”

Despite having no need for the history lesson, James indulged Slughorn for Lily’s sake and was fortunate to only be the subject of comparatively brief discussion.

After another hour of banality, the dancing finally got underway. “Happy now?” she asked.

“I’d describe my new mood as delighted to be here.” He wasn’t sure it was entirely appropriate given the staid atmosphere, but James decided to draw her closer as they danced. “Let’s enjoy the rest of this fine evening, shall we?” Lily closed her eyes and James saw her inhale deeply before letting her breath go – directly into his face. “I didn’t mean blowing your onion and lamb chop fumes straight into my nose.”

“That was for your attitude earlier.”

Lily yielded to James’s hand on the small of her back drawing her closer. “This is for your promise earlier.”

“I don’t think there was any _promise_.”

A new orchestral piece came on Slughorn’s phonograph. “Hell yeah,” James said pulling Lily’s free hand out along with his, preparing to waltz.

“James, what are you doing?”

“Just go with it.”

“I can’t just–“

James began the square base, moving Lily around the edges of the floor slowly as the piece built up. “Having fun yet?”

“Being dragged around? No.”

He smirked. “Then help me out a little so we can get to the real fun then,” he said, guiding her with less resistance toward the unoccupied middle of the floor.

“I don’t like that look…”

“Have fun on three…”

As he counted out the steps, her eyes went wide as he raised his arm. Fortunately, she _did_ know what to do, spinning out and then back to him again. At least she hadn’t fallen or turned an ankle. That counted as success, right?

“What exactly was that?”

“Just an example of my fine ballroom dancing. Go again?”

The pair spent the next hour dancing and James was glad to see that Lily was actually enjoying herself. He enjoyed the dances where they had to pass partners significantly less, though Briony wasn’t particularly enthused about her turn with him either. There was a certain joy in Lily coming back though and he hoped she felt it, just missing each other across the floor.

Though others stood on ceremony while leaving, Lily wasted no time in holding onto James arm and wiggling right out of her heels. “Thank _God_. Dancing with you was great and all, but my feet are done. Feels like these ate them up a bit too. Sometimes it’s simple things like this that make me feel blessed to have a wand.”

“If you wanted to leave we probably could’ve snuck off. I’m sure Slughorn would’ve excused his most precious, most favoritest member.”

“Maybe…but then I wouldn’t have hurt myself enough to justify walking to the common room barefoot.”

“We should walk slower then. Give those feet a chance to get soothed by our lovely cold, stone floors,” James said as other attendees started to pass them by.

“James…”

“Lily…”

“Don’t you think I don’t know what you’re up to.”

“And don’t pretend you’re not down for it.”

“James. We’re still the Head Students,” Lily said, fiddling with her necklace as they walked along. “What if we got caught?”

“One: I don’t get caught. Two: we can’t just be the Head Students all the time. You liked your night being a rebel in the kitchens – I have a hunch this’ll be better than food.”

“I guess it’s not _that_ far to the mirror.”

“Are you kidding? That’s five flights of stairs.”

“Well the Tower is even farther. And I don’t think either of us wants to be ‘that couple that snogs in the corner’.”

“Can you stop being practical for five seconds?”

“Alright, fine.”

James looked around quickly, reached past Lily and pushed her into the broom closet they’d stopped in front of. “Now you can stop for more than five seconds,” he said, pressing his lips against hers.

“In a broom closet?!” she said, shoving him back into the door.

“Hey! You’re going to draw attention,” James whispered loudly.

“We can’t snog in a broom closet.”

“And why not?”

“It’s so…Hogwarts.”

James laughed as they stood in the dark. “Last I checked we’re still _at_ Hogwarts. So whatever the hell that means has zero relevance to your argument Miss Practical.”

“And it’s hot,” she said, despite of the empty space around them. “It’s small, it’s hot, and it’s stereotypical.”

James leaned toward her, bracing himself against one of the outer walls. “You’re hot.”

“Oh, now I really want to leave.”

“Then why don’t you go? I’m not standing in your way.” Lily reached for the handle and pushed outward, letting light shine in on James still leaning over, his elbow on top of the broom rack and his hand against the back of his head. “Go on. Leave me here,” he said, waving her away with the back of his hand. “At least I’ll be able to watch you walking away.”

He could tell she was torn, her feet and body angled to the stairs, but her head turned back over her shoulder. If she could only see how she looked. James had to will himself down in case she actually left. _Tinka hanging towels. Tinka hanging towels. Tinka hanging–_

Then her mouth was on his, slamming the door behind her as she pushed him against the wall. “You’re stupid, you know that? And if we get caught–“

He kissed her hard, doing his best to match the passion she must be feeling to have actually come back to sully herself in such a commoner’s snogging spot. She _definitely_ returned the passion. How the fuck he was going to turn her around and get himself back in the man’s position was unclear, but right now he didn’t give a shit.

“You just look too good,” she panted out between kisses. “I dressed you too well.”

Her hands slid up the back of his head and into his hair and she pressed her body all the way into him as she yanked him toward her. James was lucky he was taller and stronger. He was at least able to squeeze his arms inside hers, cupping her face with one hand while he ran the other down her neck gently, adventuring toward her bosom.

“That necklace…” he growled “…is in the way.”

She pulled back inches before kissing her way to his ear. “I’m sure you know how to take things off in the dark.”

Reaching behind her neck as they kissed more slowly, James found the clasp which, as predicted was one of those tiny fucking ones. Giving up, he slid his hands south along her body, feeling the fabric of the dress she wore – some mixed fabric – but it felt good. He didn’t need to imagine exactly how tight it was anymore. It was loose enough to have some give as he rubbed his hands up and down her sides, but…well, he didn’t have to imagine how well it had flattered her. It _was_ tasteful, but it was simultaneously sexy as fuck, the skirt flaring out from her hips and landing a few inches above her knee. More than that, he loved the closeness. His girlfriend had _him_ pinned in a broom closet and there was barely the space for the little roaming either of them had done.

Lily ran kisses across his face and down his jawline and James could sense her amusement at the times he missed trying to catch her lips in his. But he was done indulging her. Pushing himself up as he moved to assert control, he pressed into her – and she bailed. “Forget it,” she said, stepping back. “I’m quite done with your troublemaking tonight.”

“Huh?” James asked, following her out into the corridor.

“Tell him to calm down,” she said, pointing. “And if you like being in charge like the other night, you should listen to where I’m willing to let you do it.” She smoothed her dress out and brushed her hair off his shirt. “Look at that,” she said, holding him by the shoulders, “your tie still looks good even yanked down with your collar unbuttoned. “Did you do that yourself?”

“Rude, Lily.”

“You must be lucky to have such a talented woman in your life.”

“Oh I know I’m lucky,” he said, “ _very_ lucky.”

Lily squatted down to pick up the empty shoes she only just realized she’d left behind, having probably dropped them clumsily by the door when she charged her unwitting boyfriend. He offered his hand to help her stand, but instead of simply intertwining their fingers, James pulled her to him, holding Lily around the waist. At least for tonight, she leaned into it and he was happy to walk back upstairs – thankfully unseen – with her head on his shoulder and a wide smile he saw when he peeked down at her face.

* * *

“Benton, stay behind.”

Ellie waited as everyone else crept out into the corridor, no doubt splitting off their separate ways as usual before heading to class. “What do you need me for?”

“You’ve managed to succeed in every project I’ve assigned to you alone. The others…have a more pedestrian record and the few of our group that would even qualify, I believe you’re the best situated to handle my situation.”

“Your situation?”

“ _Our_ situation.”

“And what situation is that?” Ellie asked, hands on her hips.

“I want you to ruin James Potter.”

“How in the hell could I possibly even begin to do that?”

“Because you’re…” he looked her up and down ‘…you.”

“You mean attractive.” Ellie knew she was, but it had proven particularly true after she started presenting herself like her ‘friends’ in this mission. “The only time I’ve even come in contact with him was squabbling over a book in the library and literally bumping into him in the hall one day. Gryffindor already kicked our ass in quidditch and that would’ve been the best place – hell, the only _natural_ place – to have any degree of lengthy contact.”

“I’m confident you can find a reason. Perhaps there’s something you can offer that he’d be extremely interested in.”

Ellie shook her head. “In case you haven’t noticed, he’s on cloud nine over Lily Evans.”

“I’m well aware of his relationship status,” Snape snapped. “She may be the only person in Hogwarts with equal or more popularity than he possesses.”

“Great. They’re both wildly popular and they’re both wildly into each other. That sounds like something of an insurmountable obstacle, even for me.”

Snape sneered. “I’d hoped you’d simply embrace this. You’ve never been the type for excuses.”

“They’re rationales.”

“Do I need to spell out my orders for you?”

Ellie remained silent, arms crossed.

“I want you to feed him false information about this group. And then, whether it’s welcome or not, I want him to appear to be unfaithful.”

Ellie paced the room, shaking her head. “This is crazy. She wouldn’t even believe any obvious way. Or even be around because he’s not stupid enough to allow it.”

Snape glared before leaving the room. As he opened the door, he stared her down from over his shoulder. “Make this happen. Before Christmas.”

Ellie left the room very conflicted. Obviously she’d lied – again. But she also _had_ seen James, not only in their clandestine rendezvous, but on the pitch since she’d made the quidditch team. He was impressive and it wasn’t just his talent. Even her housemates would admit in their own company that they’d enjoy some ‘private time’ with the Gryffindor captain and seeing him up close only confirmed why. She had no attachment to Lily. Stripping away their relationship, she was just another instrument of his will. When it came to war – she was weak.

At the same time, she neither wanted to see Severus and his cronies succeed nor do anything to jeopardize her safety. James, and by extension Lily, would be her only safe havens if she were discovered. If she succeeded in any respect, that tie would be severed and so would her one shot at protection. There was really no way _to_ succeed at both. Or maybe there was. James was, if history was any indication, a serial commitment-phobe. True, there was a very strong recent exception, but whether he’d actually healed from that was an open question. And if she _could_ manage to make him a willing participant all she needed to do was facilitate the break-up and enjoy him in secret. There was no sincere requirement she give honest information to Snape.

Ellie set herself straight and headed for the headed for the dead drop before returning to her common room. This time a simple note: _we need to meet_.

The following day, she was in the same room with him – their usual place. “There’s a problem,” she said simply.”

James sighed. “Why the hell are you always so vague?”

Rather than standing across the room from him, Ellie stayed in the first row of desks while he sat on the table. She saw his nose twitch and she knew she’d been right before when they’d discussed the Red Caps – he liked the scent of her. “In case anyone follows us in, it’s probably best to lead in with something we can quickly turn into an argument.”

“Fine. What do you want?”

Ellie dropped her eyes just so, giving him a light pout. “I hate when you do that. It feels like you don’t appreciate me.”

James ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he said more gently, “I do appreciate you. The Red Cap situation could’ve been a disaster. Let me try it this way: what can you tell me?”

“Snape has someone on the inside,” she said.

“ _What?_ ”

“Someone came to him – I can’t say who for obvious reasons – but they’re in a position close to this fight going on behind the scenes and they’ve decided to cast their lot with us. Snape’s group, I mean.”

“I can’t imagine who that could possibly be. My friends – we’ve been through _everything_. They’d never do that.”

“Sirius does miss his brother…”

“…that’s never been an obstacle. The others are clean.”

“I suppose that leaves Marlene McKinnon – and Lily of course. Congratulations on the new relationship,” she said, forcing herself to keep her voice even.

“Neither of them would betray us like that. Especially not Lily.”

She continued pacing the room directly in front of him. She could feel his eyes doing what she wanted. Regardless of their feelings, boys couldn’t resist a smooth, shapely leg and he’d proven no different even if he attempted to hide the fact. Charming her skirt shorter had been an obvious, but excellent idea.

“Get serious,” James said, “you can absolutely tell me who it is, you just won’t. Why?”

“You’re too close to this,” she lied. “If you know who it is, you won’t be able to treat them the same and they’ll notice. Then there’s no way of catching them in the act.”

“But how’s that going to happen if we don’t know?”

“I’ll encourage the exchange of information to run through our dead drop. A word that it’s Snape’s order will make sure that happens.”

James looked down, pursing his lips and squeezing his chin. “Alright. Okay. You’re the one who knows who it is; what do you recommend?”

“Let Lily take more control of your meetings. You watch their faces and body language.”

“That’ll seem very odd.”

“It’ll seem like a vote of confidence.”

“Yeah. Frankly I don’t care what else anybody may take away from it as long as it keeps the school safe.”

“That’s the kind of attitude this is going to take,” she said. “I’ve got to go now.” Ellie headed for the door with a little extra sway in her hips. She felt the unmistakable sense that she was being watched and smiled. James loved her showing a little extra skin. And he _really_ loved her ass in a shortened and tightened school skirt. The best part? He wasn’t even conscious of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The Slug Club party goes pretty well for James and Lily, at least after he gets pinched back to his senses. I wanted to juxtapose that and the extra happiness that came after with Snape’s scheme to destroy it and James. He’s so focused on revenge and accomplishing his mission that he doesn’t really give a thought to the impact that might have on Lily. Not sure what your thoughts are on Ellie and where she’s headed, but hopefully you’ll enjoy the process of getting that open-ended question answered in the near future.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	60. Escalation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FUCK ARIES

A few weeks after the party was Hogsmeade and Lily was looking forward to whatever James had up his sleeve to ask her to go. It was only a few days away and he hadn’t asked, but that was normal right? And regardless of what had happened since, she still wanted to _be_ asked when she’d accepted the scone. Alana convinced her that James was probably pulling out all the stops for something fantastic so Lily didn’t feel a need to set him straight until…

She walked down the stairs Thursday and was immediately greeted by an obnoxious banner welcoming her to a new day. The letters alternated red and gold: G-O-O-D M-O-R-N-I-N-G L-I-L-S! Lils was not a promising start. It had probably wasted more paint and saved him half a syllable at best – and she hated nicknames. She looked around expecting some laughter but was surprised that there was none. Lily quickly realized that the banner must have been visible only to her, thus creating a slight improvement. Still, she wasn’t necessarily relishing the next step. James was a showman though so surely there’d be some improvement from here since he hadn’t actually _asked_ yet.

Breakfast however brought only a wink and a scone and lunch was nothing but chit-chat. By the time classes were over, all he’d done of note was try to surreptitiously scratch his back with his wand tip, which was only of note because she had been watching him all day, waiting to see his grand request. She left scratching her head. All he mentioned before dinner was flying with the boys and yet another meeting with Ellie Benton.

When mealtime did roll around, James strode in an absolute mess. He clearly hadn’t gotten down soon enough to miss the rain and he also clearly hadn’t taken the time to change beyond yanking a sweater over his soggy practice jersey and cleaning (she thought) his boots. They had rounds tonight, but she’d had a bad day and walking the school with him while being unable to express her disappointment wasn’t exactly the most pleasant thing to think about.

“Hey!” James said brightly as he practically hopped down to the common room. “You saw the banner today right? Pretty cool…”

“Yes,” Lily answered, “I saw it. And I don’t take kindly to being called Lils.”

“That’s okay. It’ll grow on you…Lils.”

Normally she might have been satisfied with a playful smack or reprimand, but (a) he seemed to be serious and (b) he was only making the bad day – the one _he_ was responsible for – worse. So she threw him an elbow.

“Ow!”

“Don’t be a baby. You’ve suffered far worse.” James turned the opposite way as usual while she was focused on being difficult.

“I don’t understand what you’re so upset about,” he shrugged. “I think it’s cute. Sirius agrees.”

“ _Sirius_ likes to call me Lily Flower. I don’t know why you’d trust a nickname to that buffoon.”

“Hey, I came up with it. Don’t be giving him the credit.”

Lily stopped and looked around. “Wait. Where are we?”

“We’re not going the normal way?”

She put her hands on her hips and shot him a skeptical look. “You know it’s not, James. You distracted me.”

“We can come back the other way. I want to check someplace else first.”

Lily felt childish about still having butterflies in her stomach about what James had in store for her, but she couldn’t help it. Maybe it was the freshness of their relationship or the way she’d built up this week in her mind, but the farther they got from the common room, the more she wanted every turn to be their destination even if it was an empty classroom.

As they reached the staircase to the Astronomy Tower that anticipation remained though she had to admit it faded a bit. A trip up top for a ‘romantic’ picnic was not what she’d expected from him. It was welcome sure, but…well, maybe it was a bit unfair to insist on some truly grand gesture from a guy who asked her out with a scone after snogging in a questionable armchair.

Reaching the top, she looked for said blanket and fixings, but found none. “James?”

“Not excited?”

“I guess I’m curious. I figured there’d be some kind of picnic up here like other girls get.”

He looked at her, almost annoyed. “We can get some food from the kitchens and come back if you prefer.”

“No, no. Do your thing,” she said with a smile. Then she hesitated. “You’re not going to try to pick out ‘our’ star are you?”

“You think you’re only worth a single star?”

“Flatterer.” He pointed to what felt like empty space. She looked at him questioning what the hell was there. Oh. Aries. “I’m not an Aries, James…or are you making some comment about me that’s completely killing the moment?”

“Higher,” he said poking his wand at a group of stars so that each lit up into…something.

“Did you just pick out random stars?”

“No…” he said. “Will you shut up and just listen?” He dragged her farther to the center so she could stare up. “I know this is probably still corny as hell, but that’s you. It used to be called Lillium. Losers thought Aries was cooler apparently.”

She watched him connect the lines and could see it – sort of. For someone to call it a lily was probably the result of a weak ancient telescope, but she could buy it. She laughed as James wrote in the air with his wand so it almost captioned the constellation in front of her eyes: an arrow pointed down the constellation topped by her name with an exclamation point. Below the group of stars he scrawled over its more famous companion: FUCK ARIES. Lily laughed before James kissed her and she happily returned the favor.

“So,” he said, “Want to go to Hogsmeade with me you star-dwelling bad ass? Or…” he added, pointing at wine and a pair of glasses she hadn’t noticed that stood close to the ledge, “do I have to get you drunk first?”

“You wonderful asshole. Yes. I’m definitely going with you,” she said before getting on her toes to kiss him. “Can we still get drunk though?”

James laughed. “Wow. Lily Evans doing her rounds drunk?”

“You keep introducing me to new, increasingly irresponsible experiences,” she answered.

“So yes?”

“I might stop at buzzed. Seeing as we’re not supposed to be drinking at all.”

“That works. You’ll have to take charge of me though. I’m a goofy drunk.”

“I didn’t know you could get goofier…”

He grinned, filling the glasses before laying down, grabbing her fingers so she’d join him.

“Too corny?” he asked.

“A little…but I still love it.”

“Thanks…Lils.”

She swatted him. “I’m _not_ Lils.”

“Maybe. But you will be.”

* * *

“Going doe, Benton?” Briony taunted.

She could still be a total shit despite their unique connection. “Some of us don’t need affirmation from boys buying us shiny baubles,” Ellie said airily.

“Did you rehearse that excuse? Even Blueberry Bagley has a date for the weekend.”

Briony was of course referring to her overweight classmate in Ravenclaw. “My man’s taken…for now. And unlike some of us, I don’t settle.”

Ellie knew she’d touched a nerve. After her recent break-up with Bryll she was going with Martin Sanders, a rather plain boy from a year below her. She saw the other girl’s nostrils flare, but beyond that she was completely composed.

“Martin has other positive facets that a girl like you probably can’t appreciate, no matter how desperate she is to.”

She seriously questioned that Briony had ever seen that or even the outline of it. Why the other girl still insisted on trying to ostracize her in public in total contrast to Imogen obsessively pushing her toward popularity was beyond Ellie’s comprehension, but she was tired of the conversation. “Yeah, Briony. Oh God, I’m gagging for it,” she said, wiping her forehead and bending her body as if she might faint.

Hours later Ellie was indeed in Hogsmeade and indeed all alone. James and Lily certainly didn’t escape her attention, the uptight Head Girl locked arm in arm with the guy she used to hate. Both looked very much content – more than content – as they headed down the street toward someplace or another. Based on the turn they made she was probably dragging him to the bookstore of all places. She decided to go meet Severus to relay the information she had gotten from her few meetings with James.

“Benton,” he greeted her as she sat down with him in the corner of The Three Broomsticks. “Briony told me you were alone and I couldn’t believe it. Embarrassing I imagine, but it at lends itself to you being more available to address far more serious matters.”

“Great. So you just want me to go ahead and lay it on you so I can get out of here and do some _actual_ work toward this project?”

Severus closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. “You’d do well to remember your place.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “Anyway, they’ve layered a schedule of ‘support’ personnel to keep monitoring rounds. Mostly _our_ rounds, but also people I’ve suggested may be sympathizers.”

“Who?”

“Who do you think? Black, Lupin, Pettigrew…Potter’s idiots.”

“And?”

“And nothing. They’re not terribly inventive on that front.”

“Anyone could get this information. It’s long been suspected. Surely you’ve learned something…more.”

She sighed. “They know our original dead drop location. I saved Briony and Jayne’s plans from them the just the other day once I found out.”

Snape’s jaw tightened. “I warned them against their casual attitude toward keeping that information confidential. Good. It’ll have to be moved so we can keep our lines of communication open between classes and floors. Feed Potter some a false relocation point and work on getting his.”

“Sure. Okay.”

“And how is your special project progressing?”

“I’ve managed an uptick in meetings with him. Evans is none the wiser. He’s clearly interested in my uniform adjustments so once he can see the same on display out of my robes I think he’ll be drooling.”

“Attached students often ‘drool’ as you put it over other students. His titillation isn’t the objective.”

“Any more meetings and she’ll definitely notice. I’ll make him choose one over her and then…she’s going to find her perfect boyfriend being very _im_ perfect. Kissing me at least, maybe more.”

“Don’t get attached Benton,” Snape warned. “This is business.”

“The more that happens the greater the divide. The way she and Lupin talk to each other he could split off with her. I could plant that seed there in Potter if you like. I’ve already told him he’s got a mole.”

He grinned evilly. “Do it.”

* * *

James was starting to get irritated with Ellie’s demands for meetings. He had enough to do between class and quidditch and policing the school that interruptions ate into time with Lily. Precious time that he was sick of having wasted. Ellie was noticeably tamer in their interactions these days as well. That was a welcome change in itself, but it also caused things to drag on. Then there were the other things that he needed to make a point to discuss today.

After the briefing was complete, Ellie lingered, bending more than squatting in her skirt when she ‘dropped’ her quill and giving him an eyeful. Her body seemed somehow more inviting than it used to and whatever game she was playing was going to end.

“That’s enough,” he said firmly.

“What is?” she asked, feigning innocence. Was she faking? Part of why they were here was because she was good at it, but right now it was vexing.

“You…” he waved at her “…whatever you’re doing.”

She went doe eyed. “I don’t understand.”

He glared at her. “I think you know exactly what I mean.”

“I wish I did,” Ellie answered. “I’m just trying to be as helpful as I can.”

“See, there’s part of it,” he said, pointing at her. “You’ve always been abrupt and sometimes downright rude. Now you’re nice. It stretches our meetings.”

“I thought more and shorter meetings would work better. I’m just trying to be more accommodating of your needs – you know, what with Lily.”

“You don’t need to worry about my relationship with Lily.”

“I wasn’t trying to. I’ll try to do better for you,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

James relented. “No, I’m sorry. I’m just adjusting.”

“It happens,” she said, touching his arm. To her surprise he didn’t pull back immediately. “James, about things with Lily…I know what you said, but I’d just…maybe pay attention to what happens after these meetings.”

James left for the Tower unsatisfied with how his conversation had wound up with Ellie. He was sure she wasn’t being entirely forthright about her adjustments, but he was extremely irritated by her insinuation before she left. He seriously doubted her accusation that there was a mole and had been vigilant on that front, but now she was either accusing Lily of that or suggesting there was…something else going on. There was nothing else going on. There was nothing going on period. He trusted Lily and his friends completely.

As he walked back into the common room he saw Lily right where he’d left her. “About time,” she said, “we’re supposed to be spending some quality, bookless time together, remember?”

He could tell she was happy he was back, but there was definitely an undercurrent to it. _I’m your girlfriend,_ her tone said. _I expect to be your priority_. “Sorry,” he said, plopping down next to her, “I told her about wasting time in these meetings so hopefully that’ll change. Where should we go?”

“How about catching up in your little hole in the wall?”

“Really?”

“ _Really_. No rounds and no real essays. We’ll still have plenty of time to talk. You can leave romantic James here for a while. I want the other James right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: With another chapter in the books, I’m primarily wondering how you feel about the way Ellie’s being dealt with as part of the side-plot right now. I’m not really interested in dragging that on, but the timing feels like it may be a little too rapid, at least as read because the small time jumps are, I know, probably not that clear. As far as the remainder, I do hope you enjoyed James’s Hogsposal. Like he said, kinda corny, but hopefully it had enough of a unique touch and you believed Lily being okay with getting buzzed from illegal consumption before getting back to ‘work’.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	61. Suspicious Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You must hate me.'

After their apparent conversation, Lily noticed that James’s meetings with Ellie declined in frequency. Unless there was some sort of emergency, James had set a boundary of a single meeting per week which, while longer in duration, at least allowed them to make plans that would be less subject to interruption. As the end of term approached, James did his best to calm her down. She knew she got anxious and twitchy no matter how many times he told her she was brilliant – with or without kisses. It had been more without lately, but she supposed it was to be expected.

What she did not expect was finding James in the fifth-floor hallway with Ellie when she looked down the staircase. She couldn’t see much of James, but Ellie certainly seemed worked up, both throwing her hands in the air and pointing – or perhaps poking – at James’s chest. He usually let her know about any meetings in advance so she stayed put, watching the confrontation unfold. As Lily looked on, James checked his surroundings like she’d seen him do so many times before leaning down to the younger girl’s level and putting his hands on her shoulders which seemed to calm her. The pair split, each hurrying off in their own direction.

James got in later that day and slung his bag down where they usually sat, scanning the area like she’d seen earlier, and giving her a peck on the lips before slumping down into cushion. “It was a good day,” he proclaimed as he leaned his head back, staring up at the ceiling with his eyes closed.

“A good day? We got assigned two rolls of parchment by Flitwick and another two from Stone. That’s on top of Slughorn’s last week.”

He shrugged. “I told you before to let me help you perfect your spacing.”

“Some of us,” she said evenly, “don’t like always taking shortcuts.”

James snapped up. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

He looked innocent and Lily kicked herself. She’d seen something fleeting and it wasn’t as if there was any sign of anything other than Ellie teeing off about something. She almost never interacted with James in public, but they were off toward the corner and with no one else really around it probably didn’t draw attention as quickly as it had come and gone. “No, I’m fine. It’s just been a long day.”

“You sure?” he asked.

The next day she came back to a note from James saying he was running late and would meet her on the outside track of the seventh floor, right when she should be getting there. Right next to the fifth-floor staircase. Right after an emergency meeting with Ellie. This wasn’t a problem she told herself. This was _not_ a problem.

“Oh, did you get James’s note, Lily?” Alana asked.

“Yeah, I got it.”

“What’s _that_ about?”

“I don’t know. Some ‘emergency’ with Ellie. Unique timing.”

“Well, I was asking about your attitude, but I just got that answer too.”

“Sorry. I’m being stupid.”

“I doubt it. You don’t really have stupid in you. What’s the deal?”

She sighed. “Well, you know I was complaining about he and Ellie meeting so often?”

“Yeah. You said he shut it down.”

“The meeting all the time. I guess it’s the same amount of total time really, it just makes life easier it only being one day a week.”

“Wait. This is a scheduled thing?”

“Sure. I mean there are so many logistics.”

Alana nodded. “Yeah…I bet there are.”

Lily studied her friend carefully. “Alana?”

“It’s probably nothing. Really. James is over the moon with you.”

Lily paused before deciding to relay the story to Alana. “I mean that – they don’t talk in public – and she was practically at his throat without anyone around to try and throw off the scent or something.”

“Uh huh. Is her skirt always as short and her shirt as tight as it has been?”

Lily frowned. James was different than he’d been in fifth year. “Lately. Look, I shouldn’t even be talking about this. It’s ridiculous. He said as much to Sirius. I…I trust him.”

Alana gave her a knowing stare. “ _Right_ …well I don’t. Not based on what you’re telling me. Or the fact that he’s had one serious girlfriend in his life. Either what happened could’ve really fucked him up or she was an aberration.”

Lily wanted to speak up. To say what she’d said before, how she trusted him, so much more loudly and firmly, but instead she let Alana keep going.

“All I’m telling you is to be careful. Not…stalker careful. But careful.” She touched Lily’s arm, drawing her friend’s eyes up. “You deserve the best.”

Ellie was pleased with the process. She’d traded away days, which was a bit unfortunate given how she’d hoped to inundate him with her, but she’d gotten more time in return. A lot more time. Time she was able to use to bait out more than standard info swaps. Conversations with James almost inevitably turned to quidditch given that they both played and Ellie enjoyed them in their own right, listening to James talk passionately about the sport he loved. While he was careful not to reveal any of his tactics, despite trouncing Slytherin already, they laughed together over many an incident. There were certain things that only players could really understand.

But tonight was business. Urgent business at that. “Snape’s looking to counter the leaks.”

Ellie had fed James an extensive amount of information while he gave her little injurious in return. As a result, Snape’s efforts to ‘blind and bind’ various students as he called it had been thwarted. This seemed personal to him somehow, though she’d never seen him stowed in a closet – or elsewhere – as he suggested should be done to more openly influential people. There were other small matters, but the one that led to his increasing paranoia was Ellie’s disclosure that the group planned to smuggle in banned items from Hogsmeade to release in the halls. It was his most audacious plan to date, including low-grade incendiaries, several of a vicious breed of pixies, and aerosolized potions that, while not particularly dangerous, could spread negative symptoms among both students and staff that might threaten to limit the school’s ability to function – possibly overloading the hospital wing if it convinced people to make a run on it.

“What’s happened that’s so special now?”

“I tried to warn you about this yesterday, but you didn’t want to listen! He’s ticking off names, James. People he thinks are undermining him. I helped you stop the worst he’s even dreamed of for this school. You can’t blow me off now!”

“I’m not blowing you off, Ellie. I had to steady you earlier before _you_ drew way too much attention to us.”

“It sure seems that way.”

“We’ve been meeting constantly.”

“Constantly?”

“You understand why I’ve had to ratchet it down. But there’s been plenty of time for you to bring up even the rumblings of this before yesterday and we’ve dragged things out shooting the shit. That’s all been fun, but I don’t know how this could possibly have happened so suddenly.”

“Do you understand what’s going to happen when he gets to me? If I’m not the next on his hit list already? You promised me protection when the time came.”

“And you’ll have it. But McGonagall interceded with the businesses there so the supply wouldn’t even be available. You have plausible deniability. You all do as it happens.”

“ _He_ doesn’t see it that way. You know he’s a schemer, James. He’s practicing legilimency on younger students – the first through third years…”

James paced the room and ran his hands through his hair. “Fuck! This is exactly the kind of shit you should’ve been telling me at these longer meetings. Merlin! What the fuck were you thinking about holding this in? This is…legilimency? This is a disaster beyond anything…he’s nothing if not a quick study. Next term is going to be a nightmare.”

“I’m telling you now. I’ve started. _You_ have to get working on _your_ occlumency _now_. We can do it together.”

“Together?” James straightened. “That’s incredibly dangerous – not to mention completely impractical. Getting you plus the six of us in some room for hours _before_ rounds?”

“They’re not the problem.”

“Oh,” he said, straightening up and raising his eyebrows as he drew his head back, “the two of us.”

“Yeah,” she said, watching him carefully. “The two of us. We can make this work.”

“There’s no way we can make this work. It’s _insane_ , Ellie. Lily’s already up my ass about this shit.”

“And what the fuck is she doing? What’s she _doing_ , James? The plans are yours. The execution is yours. This,” she said, pointing between them, “is yours. She hasn’t done shit to even get this moving in the right direction. If anything she’s been slowing things down just as everything’s heating up.”

“Don’t talk about her like that,” James said, putting a finger in Ellie’s face. “Don’t you dare.”

She shook her head in disgust. “You’re clever, James. And strategic. Brilliant at everything this takes. She’s weak. And what’s worse? You know it.”

Ellie saw him clench his jaw and his wand and wondered if was legitimately going to attack her. She slid her own hand toward her pocket, hoping to get a hand on hers so she could do _something_ if he did. A part of her thrilled at the threat though. It was pure. Visceral. And he was staring straight at her – straight at her body when he was in a most animalistic state. Not today, but rage often gave way to passion…

She looked down, deciding to play the part of the penitent in this scene. She slowly lifted her eyes to meet his, doing her best to tinge them with a sorrow she most definitely didn’t feel. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered – and God she hated whimpering. “She’s just not the same as us, James,” she said, letting the statement hang and causing a silence that James curiously elected not to break. “What she does behind the scenes…I’m sure it’s invaluable.”

James nodded, even as her words did echo in his head. “Yeah. It is.”

“All of it,” she said with a wink. Still, the best role now wasn’t really a role at all. “I’m scared, James. Whatever you can do here…in the halls…classes…he’s going to find out what I’ve done and nothing’s going to keep me safe there. All of them…you know what they’ll do to me.”

He took her by the shoulders as he had before, then held her as she did what she hated most – cried – into him. “Hey,” he reassured her, “we’ll figure this out okay? This is going to be alright. The occlumency…all of us together…we’ll make it happen.”

She looked up through red eyes, seeing the genuine caring in his eyes. She needed this. All of it. She and James fit so much better. He had to see that…or at least feel it. He cared about her. That was something. Maybe the start of something, she hoped.

James eased her head back down on his chest, letting her lay it sideways on his heart. “We’ll take care of this. All of us, alright. And you and me – we’re in this – I’ll take care of you.”

James had been even later than he’d expected getting out of there after everything that had happened and he jogged up very much out of breath to meet an extremely irritated Lily. She had clearly been there a while. Yes…God it she’d been here at least fifteen minutes.

“What the _fuck_ , James?” she snapped. “Where the hell have you been?”

“I left a note. I’m sorry I’m late. It was an emergency.”

“Yeah, I read that,” Lily said icily. “And yet you’re even later than you said.”

“I’m sorry, Lily. What do you want me to do? Get a time-turner?”

“Do I look like I’m in a laughing mood?”

“I had to try?” James said sheepishly.

“No. You didn’t have to try. What you had to _do_ was be outside the common room at the right fucking time. And failing that, what you had to _do_ was be _here_ on time. Not now. Not ten minutes ago. On. Fucking. Time.”

James raised his hands. “Hey, I get you’re angry. I shouldn’t have tried to wise-crack about it. That’s not fair. But do you honestly think I wouldn’t have been with you from the start like usual if it could’ve been avoided?”

She cocked her head, and the hair that fell forward back out of her face. “You know, I don’t know, James.”

His eyes narrowed. “Now, what’re you trying to say, Lily?”

“I think you know what I’m trying to say.”

“Don’t go there. I would never do that to you. You can’t seriously believe that.”

“That’s a whole lot of different denials,” Lily said, arms crossed. “You _smell_ like her, James. It’s not the first time.”

“It’s the shit she started using after telling me about the Red Caps. It blankets you or whatever.”

“Yeah? And what’s that,” Lily said, pointing to his chest. “Is _that_ perfume James? Did she leave a big stain on your robes there with her ‘perfume’?”

He saw where Ellie’s make-up had come off on his robes for the first time. “It was a real emergency alright? She broke down, Lily. _Ellie Benton_ broke down. She cried on me. What the fuck did you want me to do? Tell her to clean herself up and fuck off back to the dungeons?”

“I just…God, I don’t know. Were you comforting her in the fifth-floor corridor too when you put your face in hers and held her by the shoulders?”

James’s blood was starting to boil now, no matter how hard he was trying to restrain it. “I was trying to calm her down. She was going off. It could’ve compromised the whole thing, though I get what her deal was now.”

“What was her deal, James? She doesn’t get enough of your time? Why’s she need you so much?”

He shook his head. “She needs _us_. All of us. Without her who the hell knows where we’d be. We promised her that if things went south we’d protect her. That was both of us. Remember that? Well guess what? Things are going south. Snape’s on the hunt and he’s turning into to a damn legilimens on top of that!”

“So she says.”

“She cried in my arms tonight, Lily. I told you. You know she doesn’t scare.”

“She must be terrified about how much shorter she can make her skirt before McGonagall gives her detention.”

James resisted the urge to wisecrack. It had failed with her earlier and his own anger swallowed the words before he could’ve gotten them out. “She’s terrified of Snape.”

“Alana thinks she does it for you.”

“Alana? If you had a problem, Lily…if _we’ve_ got a problem…why didn’t you just talk to me?”

“It’s…it doesn’t matter. Let’s just do rounds. I need to…process…all this.”

James put himself in front of her as she started walking. “Oh it fucking matters. You think I’m just going to walk around the castle with you, both of us stewing, after what you basically just accused me of?”

“Get out of the way, James.”

“I’m not moving.”

“We have to do rounds, get out of the way.”

“Fuck rounds. We can do rounds whenever the hell we want tonight. Who’s going to stop us? Slughorn? Stone? McGonagall at worst? Maybe you don’t want to deal with it, but I’d rather have a thousand detentions than just let this go for however long you want to ‘process it’ alone.”

“James…you don’t understand. You can’t understand this feeling…again…what it’s like…”

“Again?”

“What?” she snapped.

“Again. You said I couldn’t understand it ‘again’. This has been going on?”

Lily shook her head and sniffed. “No. No. I…I can’t do this right now. I can’t.”

“Please don’t do that…” James said.

He could hear Lily sniffing harder. “It’s too much to…I can’t believe I said those things…”

“I don’t understand. Help me understand, Lily. I…I’ll go first. Anything you want to know. Anything.”

“It’s not that.” She seemed calmer though she only dragged herself to the wall and slumped down. “Nobody knows anymore. Well…hardly anyone. Alana and Marlene…”

James sat down next to her, leaning his head back against the wall. “I’ll sit here as long as you want. If you want to get up, you want to walk away…well, I can’t say I’ll wait because it’s not safe for either of us alone right now – for a lot of reasons. But however long you’re here, right up against this wall, I’m going to wait.”

He still wanted to be furious. Her accusation and how long she must’ve been thinking it. Taking this bullshit to somebody outside their relationship. And A-fucking-lana of all the people in the world. It was hard to peg who in the house would be worse. But there was something very wrong. Maybe she was right about Ellie, at least insofar as she had a thing for him. That was something for _him_ to process later, maybe confront her about it if necessary, but now he needed to know what was wrong with his girlfriend. Minutes ticked by without any words between them, but he could hear her as she sniffed, then started merely breathing heavily, then started sniffing worse again as if she was about to burst forth.

She finally looked over at him after almost ten minutes. “You must hate me.”

“I’m angry at you,” he said. “I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on. We were happy you know? Or at least I thought you were…more than just…whatever, I just want to understand.”

She lifted her head up more and actually faced him. James could tell that she had _not_ in fact held back crying when they were sitting side-by-side. “I’m sorry, James. I know this…I didn’t handle it right. It’s just that I saw things today and…” she stopped and stared at the ground for a few moments, “…you know how I never really dated anyone at Hogwarts?”

“Well, yeah…I kind of thought that was my fault.”

“That wouldn’t have mattered. You remember the day we went flying?”

“You _know_ I remember that day.”

“You know how I was…spaced out?”

“Before we went, yeah.”

“People had been talking about us. You and me. And…I haven’t dated anybody since fourth year.”

James waited for her to make some connection.

“I’m not making sense…that all brought up a lot of memories for me. And this…recently this did and it was all so much worse than before.”

He looked at her. What the hell happened that she still dwelled on it from fourth year? She must’ve read the blend of emotions right off his face: confusion, nervousness, and concern.

“I dated an older boy. His name was Ian. Life wasn’t so dark then. And I was fourteen. Young. Stupid. He was…” she stared off “…he was ‘just friends’ with somebody. There were rumors and so many signs, but I was in love. Just because people said it didn’t make it true. Then I caught him with another girl. Penny. Ever since then I’ve never really…trusted someone like that again.”

“And you don’t trust me. That’s why you talked to Alana.”

“That’s not…when I talked to her, I told her I trusted you.”

“But you don’t trust me now,” James said, failing to conceal his anger.

“Yes, I do. I made a mistake, alright?” she said.

James stared at the ceiling. “One you wouldn’t have made if you actually trusted me. Or at least talked to me.”

“I was just scared. Please don’t just walk away.”

He shut his eyes and sighed. He couldn’t _really_ walk away from her could he? From this? It was too good. It felt _so_ right. But he’d been hurt too. He had his own secrets. “You know I was never that three-month guy they always made me out to be,” James ventured.

“What do you mean?”

“Most of them broke up with me…said I took things ‘too seriously.’ I took the fall because I figured that’s what everybody would think anyway. It’s always the guy. He’s always the asshole.”

“I know you’re serious about me.”

“Merlin, Lily…all I want to do is lo…be with you. I feel like you should know that I’m not that guy – that I’d _never_ cheat on you in a million – _ever_.”

“Can we just…” she shook her head “…things are good and we’re happy. I never thought I’d say this, but you make me so, _so_ happy.” Lily stood up. “I’m sorry…I understand if–“

James stood too and turned her toward him. “No,” he said emphatically. “I just need to know that you trust me, Lily.”

“I do. Really.”

“And this Ellie thing…you trust me that it’s nothing?”

“…yes.”

“Then we’re okay. It’s in the past. Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Yes.”

James looked at her and managed a shade of a smile before surprising Lily with a short kiss. “I’m yours. And if anybody ever tries to fuck with that. They’re gone.”

Lily hoped it would be the same in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There will be one more chapter this term that deals in part with the fallout of this chapter, both from Ellie’s side, as well as James and Lily finding solid ground again. There will be some intersection between those two things as you might imagine, but the holidays will probably be rolled into that chapter where we’ll see more of James and a little of Lily’s holidays, plus their friends and a few more currently peripheral characters who jump back in to join us.
> 
> I know this whole James/Lily/Ellie dynamic evolved and (just about) concluded pretty quickly so even though I tried to make clear enough that some time was passing, I’m not altogether happy with the pacing. Hopefully you found it okay in the context of the larger story (or maybe even wanted it to go away that quickly just because or because you thought I never should’ve written it in at all).


	62. If the Fates Allow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I thought about our conversation about not giving up on our dreams just because things are the way they are.'

_Sirius:_

_End of term has been stressful here too, though I’m happy to say only for academic reasons. If James is back to normal (at least as close to normal as it seems the two of you ever are) will you be coming to Stroud? My friends are leaving uni earlier than planned so I’ll have some extra time that I don’t have family obligations. Maybe we can trade stories of (sort of) independent living. You won’t have to shop for potatoes._

_Sincerely,_

_Grace_

Truth be told, Sirius hadn’t been planning on going to Stroud or really much of anywhere this holiday. To say the end of term was stressful was absurdly understating it. First, James and Lily had suddenly become a bit…strained was probably the best word. It was at least progressing in the right direction, which he’d begrudgingly admitted was the two of them dorking around together. Remus had an ill-timed moon this month that had combined with his procrastination to keep him up for nearly thirty-six hours. His friends weren’t shy about letting him know he’d been angry, hangry, and virtually every shade of prickly there was and ultimately it wasn’t until they all ganged up on him and ordered him to bed that he’d finally gotten some actual rest. He’d enjoyed stretching that rest well into the next day, skiving off classes completely, but still felt weary even afterward.

Of course, for Grace, there was still time to ask. James was trapped at home per usual by another Ministry gala and this time his father’s department had apparently added a post-Christmas retreat to this year’s laundry list of activities. He didn’t doubt for a minute that the Potters would let him stay or that he’d have plenty of time to himself. He hadn’t figured on Grace being home for anything more than family time like she’d said before, but he could make it happen right? He’d ask James and write her back in short order.

“How’s Grace?” James asked, causing Sirius to nearly leap out of his skin.

“Damnit, Prongs. Sometimes I think you make it a point to creep up on me when I’m up here.”

“Best it’s me isn’t it? You’re getting more lost in those things by the week. So, how is she?”

“Good. Exhausted like the rest of us, but good. Seems happy.”

“Always a good place to be.”

“She’s uhh actually coming home a bit earlier than expected and asked if I could see her.”

James rolled his eyes. “Yes, you can stay.”

“What about–“

“You ditching me for your uncle’s dustbin? The constant torture about me and Lily? The imposition it’ll be to my parents during the days of posing and preening and generally putting on a nice show for all the movers and shakers of the world?”

“Seriously.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine. More than fine. We don’t have to deal with all the guardian bullshit or anything.”

James held his hand out close to his body and Sirius did the same, clamping their hands together to make a single fist and Sirius grabbed it, pulling James in for one of their rarely seen man-hugs. “Thanks, mate.”

“Of course.” He elbowed Sirius as they walked back down from the owlery together, “you going to actually do something when you see her?”

“I don’t think that’s welcome.”

“She took your gift, she’s been writing you all term – seems pretty enthusiastic given the frequency the two of you trade paper. Why wouldn’t it be welcome?”

“Fine. Maybe I will,” he groused. “Anyway, how’s Lily?”

“Good,” James said.

“Not singing her praises to the high heavens today?”

James snorted. “We’re good. We just fought. Let’s just go fly or something.”

When Lily came back to change after classes the Tuesday before exams began, she found a curious note taped to her door. Neither Marlene or Alana were back yet, electing instead to spend some time relaxing in the courtyard rather than hitting the books. Lily didn’t have that luxury. McGonagall had been looking at her expectantly for over a week and Lily was no closer to an answer than she had been a month ago. Fuck Umstadt. At the same time, she knew it wasn’t only the answer that McGonagall wanted. This was what she could expect at the Academy. If she couldn’t handle it then she didn’t deserve a recommendation. If she didn’t get a recommendation…who knew what she’d wind up doing given the times they lived in. Waiting tables at The Three Broomsticks.

So when she already had her mind on one scrap of paper, she wasn’t terribly interested in looking at another. As she got closer to the door though, she noticed that the parchment was exquisite and had her name carefully written at just the right size directly in the center of the lower rectangle formed by the fold. Picking it up, she tried to figure out who it came from or who it would’ve even come from, but within moments she’d given up that quest.

 _Ellie_.

This was the first time she’d wanted to meet anyone but James. He was off flying after a trip to the owlery with Sirius. Normally If the other girl would wait if he was busy, but if Ellie wanted to meet with _her_ then something had changed and it meant one of a few things: she was settling for her since James was unreachable, the day she’d need their help had actually come like James had warned her, or it was some sort of sick trap. Reading the location she decided to go anyway.

When Lily stepped into the classroom, Ellie was waiting. She was her usual perfect self but she seemed legitimately nervous.

“I’m here about James,” she said abruptly.

Her anger rushed back, the temperature of her entire body seeming to rise. She tried to stop it, but how could she? She wasn’t perfect. “What about James?” she snapped back.

The girl seemed to take a deep breath before speaking. “I wanted to apologize.”

“For what?”

“Please. You know what. You think I didn’t stick around to hear you and James fighting?”

Lily clenched her wand. “If things were different I’d hex you into next week.”

“Whatever. If you don’t want my apology, fine. But you’re going to get it – whether it’s here or in writing.”

Lily crossed her arms. “I don’t need it or want it.”

“Look, I wasn’t going to do this. Apologize I mean. Honestly when I first heard, my first thought was that it was good for me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Snape gave me an assignment. He called it a special project and that special prospect was to break up you and James’s relationship, but he wanted more than that. He wanted me to make sure that you’d actually, really hate him. For good.”

Lily was about to snap. This really proved the point further. He cared more about hurting James than what it might do to her. “He should’ve known that was never going to happen.”

“Didn’t it almost?”

“Hate him? No. And it didn’t break us up either. Just go. I don’t need to talk about this with you.”

“Well maybe you should anyway. I don’t _ever_ want to give them any kind of advantage, it turned into more than just a project for me. I used every trick in the book to get him hooked on me. Showing off my body…shifting conversation to things we’d connect on better than with you. He only touched me twice and it was only ever to calm me down. He always defended you. He only ever wanted _you_.”

Lily was furious. And she wanted _protection_? With _her_ help? She said as much. “And now you want _my_ help and _my_ protection after you’re telling me you did everything you could to…God I’m such an _idiot_. Why the fuck would I _ever_ let you anywhere near me or James again?”

“Because like it or not, you know you still need me. Besides that, you’re the linchpin. When shit hits the fan people all look to you for support. They look to James for plans. He and I…we’re strategists, operatives, tacticians. That’s the way we know how to fight. You care more about the people – not that he doesn’t – but you understand what I’m trying to say. You probably used to care about me.”

Fuck her. Lily had made a promise and even now she knew she couldn’t let Ellie twist in the wind. Without her, they might not have held things together, even if Dumbledore and the other professors clamped down on the opportunities for Severus and his group to operate.

“I’ll help protect you and I’ll help James convince them to work their asses off on the occlumency too. James trusts your information and that’s fine. I don’t trust _you_.” Lily hoped her delivery had been emphatic and spun around to walk out of the room.

“That’s not what I came here about. It’s because I really am sorry,” Ellie called out to her. “Maybe one day…”

Lily slammed the door behind her.

She got back to the room to find a disgusting, sweaty James Potter talking to Peter about Gobstones. Because even though Peter was an actual wizard at wizard’s chess, he of course was obsessed with Gobstones too.

“Did you and Sirius have a good fly?” she asked.

“Yeah,” James said tentatively, “I mean…look at me.” If breakfast – and lunch – hadn’t been enough of a clue, he was obviously nervous around her now and it sucked.

“Right. Can we uh talk? Alone?”

James nodded. “Sure. Where?”

He’d beat a group of the younger students out the portrait hole while she’d been held up and by the time she got into the hallway James had wandered off to stand by one of the nearby windows that overlooked the grounds. Maybe he meant for her to get stuck.

She approached him carefully, resting a hand on his shoulder.

James turned around to face her. “Lily, you don’t have to–“

She’d been ready. She’d had a whole speech planned. But as she looked at him…to hell with what she’d planned. She grabbed James by the back of the head and kissed him. Pulling back before he could even react to return the favor, she stared at him. His eyes were wide.

“I did have to.”

“Do you feel like you have to do it again?” he asked, smirking.

“No.”

“Well, I do.” James said, replicating Lily’s kiss as best he could.

“That doesn’t get old.”

He laughed. “I should certainly hope not. So…what did you want to talk about?”

“I just wanted to say I’m an idiot again. And I don’t ever want you walking on eggshells like today.”

“That’s good. You can’t imagine how much it can hurt your feet.”

“You’re such a weirdo.”

“Your weirdo, yeah?”

She gave him a peck on the cheek. “My weirdo.”

He grabbed her hand. “Walk the grounds with me, Lils?”

“Course.” Merlin. Had she just answered to Lils?

Peter was the first to go home for the holiday. He’d gotten another dire letter from his mother and from the sound of it, she and Hannah weren’t merely struggling, but actually going hungry. He hated to bring Hannah any more into the situation than she already was, but he didn’t have a choice. The little girl looked and seemed weak and she feebly admitted that she had only been eating a little lunch and what his mother could bring home for dinner. She was doing something to cobble together that – and enough to keep the lights on and a roof over their heads – but that was it. He was furious.

“What have you been doing, Mum?” Peter hissed. “I’ve sent everything I can back and the two of you are practically starving. Hannah’s already sick all the time just from living here. How is she supposed to make it to Hogwarts? She shouldn’t have to go off to school to get healthy meals!”

She whined and cried pitifully. Another story about how she couldn’t get a sitter and that the grocer simply couldn’t understand. She’d applied to several places, she noted, and it would only be a matter of time until she was back on her feet.

“Mum, Penny’s told you over and over she’ll watch Hannah. I told you I talked to her in summer and she was even willing to take Hannah for a bit to let you get back on your feet.”

“No one is taking my Hannah!” she snapped. “I don’t need charity!”

“Maybe _she_ does! Look at her! It’s a miracle she manages to do as well as she does in classes. And that’s right – I’ve told them to send me copies of her work.”

“This isn’t your place. I’m your mother, Peter. Don’t patronize me.”

“What am I supposed to do? Make her present a loaf of bread under the tree? I know she doesn’t believe anymore – but then how could she? I’m going out,” he announced. “I’m going to try to get _something_ done so that she can have a decent Christmas.”

Peter wandered in search of seasonal work, but there wasn’t any on offer at the docks and despite their help wanted signs, it seemed that he wasn’t what they were looking for in any of the shops. He found himself sitting on the corner outside a pub, wishing for the days before his dad has left. His father who couldn’t be bothered with children or a wife – or just not _this_ wife or _these_ children. His mum wouldn’t say, but he imagined his father had found a new, better life, treating people he actually cared about far better than them.

It was there that Penny found him, alone and despondent on the street. “Peter? My God, what are you doing out here? Aren’t your mother and sister waiting for you?”

“I’ve been home,” he said. “Mum sent me a letter so I rushed back from school.”

“How is she?”

Peter just looked up at her.

“Worse than expected then. I’m so sorry for you and your sister. I swear your mother has nine lives, but she doesn’t seem to do right by either of you in any of them.” She covered her mouth. “I’m sorry. That was wrong to say. I’m sure she’s doing the best she knows how.”

“No, she isn’t,” Peter said. “You’re right. She didn’t leave, but she’s like my dad. She doesn’t care about me. Or Hannah.”

“Your mother has trouble accepting help. I know you know that of course…look, I’m sorry I don’t have much, but what if I were to lend you something? For Hannah. You can say you got it whatever industrious way you wish.”

“It’s Christmas, Penny. I couldn’t…”

“You can and you will, Peter Pettigrew.” With that she left, pressing a few notes into Peter’s hand.

He should’ve immediately set for home. It was getting late and he could shop for Hannah tomorrow. Penny had given him enough to get her a present and some cheap food for the lot of them. It would probably just be cereal and canned vegetables – maybe yesterday’s deli meat if he were lucky – but it would be something. Hannah was old enough to know better, but she didn’t mind pretending. It hurt him every time the way she pretended just for him.

Instead, he’d searched for something perfect. The food would be a simple matter. Hogwarts always left him quite full, but he didn’t need much here. But Hannah deserved something special for once in her life and he found it. It was a bit beneath her age, but she’d always wanted one – a toy set of quidditch gear so she could pretend to be like she heard on the radio. It was no surprise she preferred the seekers. It had come cheaper than expected and Peter was pleased, but he still had to change the money back so he could make the store.

Rain began to fall on his way there. It was only a light drizzle, but he pulled up his collar and shoved his hands in his coat just to be safe. It wasn’t exactly warm. He was far from home this time when he saw Nigel and his band of goons, but they were well on their way to him. He resolved not to fight this time – not yet. It was the holidays after all – perhaps they’d see reason.

“Nigel,” he nodded.

The young man smirked. “First name basis, yeah? I like it. Standing here talking. You’ve got a spine after all. Or half of one maybe since the last time we met.”

“Please, I don’t want trouble. It’s the holidays and–“

Nigel bent over and guffawed, point to Peter as his friends laughed around him. “Did you hear that lads? It’s the holidays…” he said in a mocking voice. “I don’t give a bloody fuck if it is the holidays Pettigrew. You’re my Christmas present.”

“It was one time, Nigel. I didn’t mean to get anywhere near your turf.”

Peter had made the mistake in his early days looking for money, to follow a group of older men so they could use him as a fence. For a while, all had been well. Then one day they offered him more money. He didn’t like the idea of doing it so close to home because it simply didn’t feel right, but his mum and Hannah needed him. So he’d fenced all manner of goods in a back alley behind a pub a block or so away. He’d made good money – far better than usual – for himself and for the men who could loosely be called his employers. He’d also made himself a horrible enemy.

“You remember what I told you back then little rat? How much you cost me? But it weren’t just your week in the sun was it? It was my reputation you messed with your little stunt. But…in honor of the holidays, I’ll have the lads hold off. If you square up like a man and manage to land as many as…we’ll say five punches…I’ll let you go ‘til after Christmas. If I knock you down though – well, you know what’s coming.”

Peter would’ve liked to say he landed anywhere near five punches, but he’d landed two after acting quickly right at the start. It was hard to say he landed them exactly given that they’d glanced off Nigel’s deft blocks before striking the thug, but in the aftermath, he told himself as much to save what little he had left.

“I’ll let you lay here while you’ve still got your wits about you, Pettigrew,” Nigel sneered, leaning down to pick Peter up by the hair so he could stare the boy down right in his face. “In honor of the holidays.” He held up the last of the notes between his fingers. “Or maybe it’s because you were nice enough to get me a present.”

“Where’s…” Peter groaned.

“That shit?” Nigel said. That’s off by the wall. Figured I’d spare it since it’s just a load of trash like you anyway.”

He lay there, soaking as the rain got heavier before hauling himself up, grabbing Hannah’s present, and making for home. There wouldn’t be fresh food on the table, but at least she’d have this.

When he turned around, Peter saw that Nigel hadn’t gone far. He probably wanted to see Peter drag himself off like a beaten dog, as if it were the cherry on the top of his proverbial sundae. That smirk would be wiped from their faces soon, Peter thought. Soon he’d be old enough to cast magic and soon their day would come. Soon Hannah would have everything she needed and soon Nigel would face true justice. Yes, Hannah would have her presents, but it was the anger that somehow soothed him most on the way home. There was only one thing a disgusting muggle like Nigel deserved – revenge at the end of a wand.

James had made it home safely to find his parents both there. It was quite odd for them both to be home together until the a few days before Christmas – sometimes they were apart aside from sleeping all the way until Christmas Eve. He was immediately suspicious. There was no doubt they wanted to tell him something he didn’t want to hear. His mother would probably complain about the increased correspondence from the agents, managers, and the BIQL itself. Or his father might be angry about the fact James had registered for another round of credentials without telling him. Or both. The fact that it was his mother preparing his favorite meal that night did nothing to dispel his concerns.

James was surprised by a knock on the door just as his mum was coming back downstairs from cleaning up while the food cooled to an edible temperature. She had more than cleaned up it seemed as she made her way downstairs wearing a fresh dress and heels.

“I’ll get, Mum,” James said, heading for the door.

“Nonsense,” she tutted. “Tinka, you can have yourself a rest. I’ll let you know when we’re ready for the dessert. Now you go sit down, James!”

Following orders, James moved back into the dining room, taking his usual seat on his father’s right. “What’s going on, Dad?”

“I wouldn’t have asked you to dress yourself well if we didn’t have a visitor. You’ll see soon enough.”

James heard his mother chatting with someone – a man from his voice – and both laughed as they rounded the corner. He bounced up with his father when he saw who it was. Samuel Tarrington. The Commissioner of the BIQL.

“Now dear,” his mum said, “this is Mr. Tarrington. He’s with the league.”

“I know who he is,” James said, awed.

The older man smiled up at James, his gray hair cut and combed in a military style that hearkened back to his days as a Ministry Patrol Officer before he’d begun working his way up as a lower-tier manager all the way to the top of the quidditch world.

James extended his hand. “Sir, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“So I gathered from the way you interrupted your mother’s introduction.” Before James could become too nervous, Tarrington laughed. “Don’t worry about it. You’re not the first Mr. Potter and you won’t be the last.”

The meal was spent enjoying idle conversation, where James merely chipped in here and there while his mind whirred. When he’d scored his first goal in the Gloucestershire Youth Quidditch League, he could never have dreamed that he’d be on the verge of joining the ranks of the heroes that had postered his walls.

“Well, James,” Tarrington said, interrupting his thoughts, “I actually visited for a couple of reasons, both of which you might imagine have to do with you.”

“Yes, sir?”

“You’ve raised a very polite young man,” Tarrington said, looking at James’s parents. “You are of age though, I believe, James?”

“Yes, sir.”

Tarrington smiled. “Easy. Now the first reason I’ve come is to ask if – should the situation arise – you would be willing to participate in our draft day coverage. This would mean pre-photos and interviews you understand, but it’s always an enjoyable experience for our fans, as I’m sure you’re aware.”

“Yes,” James blurted, “of course!”

“I thought as much. The second matter is of course your commitment. You understand that part of the process is committing yourself to the BIQL. It would render you ineligible for draft or – and I despise this word with our first-time professionals – purchase by any non-league sides.”

James’s head was spinning as Tarrington kept talking and he only vaguely registered what the man was saying as he presented various documents to his parents, who then slid them to him. Was he going to do this in the middle of…it seemed like a full-blown war? _Could_ he make himself do this? He and Lily’s exchange about dreams not so long ago danced in his mind. And his thoughts beforehand. Wasn’t fighting the dark wizards running rampant more important than sport? For the world of course, but for…

“James?” Tarrington prompted, “it’s a lot to soak in all at once, I understand. Should I come back another day? Or perhaps you’d like to discuss it with your father – or mother of course? I won’t be offended either way. Many a witch or wizard has preferred at least a brief consultation before signing.”

“Dad?” James asked.

Tarrington smiled. “I’ll spend some time with your mother,” he said. “Perhaps I’ll even learn how much is truth and how much is fiction when it comes to the quidditch rags.”

Father and son made their way back to his office. “So?” Fleamont asked, “You have concerns? We wouldn’t have accepted the invitation if we thought there’d be any misgivings.”

“I don’t know, Dad.”

Fleamont glared. “Has someone made an illegal approach, James? Admiration is one thing, but it’s not the new year yet. They shouldn’t be speaking with you about securing your signature.”

“It’s not that. It’s just…Lily and I were talking and…”

“You and Lily were talking about your career?”

James sighed. “It wasn’t like that, Dad. We were just talking about after Hogwarts. She wants to go to the Academy.”

“And?”

“Is it right to do this? To sign up to play sport when things are like they are? I feel like I could–“

“James, the Ministry is handling this. They have more than enough personnel to address this threat now that they’ve acknowledged there is one. Aurors…Patrol…others.” The old man sat down at his desk, leaning back in his chair. “You know I’ve never forced your hand son. Aside from maybe the piano – though I contend that was your mother. Choices make a man. You’ve dreamt of this. You have to decide for yourself whether you’re going to throw it away over something that may be settled this time next year.” He stood up and headed for the door.

“Dad I–“

“No, you don’t, James. This is your choice. I can’t tell you anymore than I just have.”

James sat on the other side of his father’s desk, squeezing down on the knuckles of his left hand with his right. There were so many things. This _was_ what he always wanted. But there was the world? Could the Ministry handle this? What if things had gone too far? Could he help? He was only seventeen… He knew he could, but didn’t know if anyone would let him. What if he backed out later? He’d be blackballed, that much was certain.

As he walked back outside he wondered what Lily would do. If they both just did whatever they wanted she’d be at the Academy and he’d be…wherever he’d be at a given moment but traveling and training relentlessly wherever that was. She’d never said outright that she might give up on the Academy though. Regardless, they could still be together though. He’d never give up on her and he told himself he was persuasive enough to make it work. Next term was going to be a lot of work but having Lily – and all his friends – by his side was going to make it a great end to a great seven years.

He walked out to Tarrington having made a decision. “Alright,” James said, “where’s a quill?”

Lily was flopped out on her bed when her mother knocked.

“You need to get ready darling.”

“I don’t want to go,” she griped, “it’ll just be another opportunity for Petunia to make me look like a loser.”

Without invitation, Catherine Evans opened the door. “Lily you’ve been petulant since your sister told us. You’ve always, truth be told, been more mature between the two of you. This is a time to celebrate your sister, not pout in your room like a child.”

“I don’t like the dress,” Lily answered. “She picks things out she knows I’ll hate. That’s how she celebrates me. Besides, why should I go endorse her getting engaged to that fat, nasty man?”

“That’s an inappropriate and disgusting attitude young lady. I’ve never had to remind you to act properly.”

“Maybe I’m just being myself for once as far as she’s concerned. I’m sick of sparing her feelings. She doesn’t really care if I’m there anyhow. Her friend Fannie is her maid of honor. I don’t even know the other bridesmaids, but I’m sure she’s poisoned them against me…”

“Is that what this is about? You’re hurt about not being her maid of honor?”

“I couldn’t care less about being in the wedding. It’s just more work during my last term at school. I’m trying to qualify for something serious – not secretarial school like she keeps telling people. Why should I have to pretend to be unintelligent or like I’m dreaming about one day fitting her fiance’s disturbed vision of a housewife?”

Her mother put her hands on her hips. “Lily Elizabeth Evans! I will _not_ tolerate your attitude! Now get up and make yourself presentable. I expect you to be ready to leave in an hour.”

Lily dragged herself up and her mother shut the door behind her. At least she was out of Lily’s face. She had no idea what to wear to this engagement party, though she thanked her lucky stars that she didn’t have to wear the bridesmaid’s dress that Petunia had made sure almost perfectly matched her hair so she’d look like a washed out blob. Fuck Petunia and fuck her party.

‘Making herself presentable’ also meant conforming with her mother’s decades old gender expectations. Perfect hair. Perfect make-up. High heels with a dress of just the right type. In short, she wanted Lily to doll herself up like Ellie fucking Benton. It being December, at least her mother couldn’t insist on anything floral. Lily knew when it came to dresses that were appropriate for the function that she looked best in one of her emerald dresses, but decided she wasn’t about to give her sister the satisfaction. The plainest navy dress she had would just have to do for them. Normally sliding that and her shoes on along with a necklace or bracelet would be fine, but of course now she’d have to waste time in the bathroom doing more than her normal routine.

They made the party early – of course – meaning that Lily had to spend time essentially alone with Vernon and Petunia while her mother obsessed over perfecting the place, dragging her dad along with her. Petunia probably couldn’t help because her heels were too high and her nails too long to be able to actually do anything aside from sit around and make Vernon look better when his colleagues from Grunnings showed up. The fact that she was so willing was almost enough to make Lily wretch.

“Have you submitted your application yet?” Vernon asked.

“Oh,” Lily said dreamily, “not yet.”

“She’s thinking about another sort of degree darling…”

“Ah. I’m sure she’ll find no trouble finding that. She’s not as beautiful as you of course, but there is certainly a resemblance.”

Please gag me. “She’s just thought that being a secretary is an awful lot of work and much worse having to go through more schooling to get there. I’ve reassured her that I have every belief she could handle it, but I think perhaps she’s simply scared. She’s always been a bit of a laggard.”

“I’m sure you could handle it,” Vernon mused, “and you know it would open a lot of doors for you. You’d be surprised how far sitting prettily at your desk can get you with men these days. They’re always looking for a girl who prefers a proper role to those silly modern notions.”

Petunia kissed Vernon and as they broke she smirked at Lily, her eyes full of the happiness of tormenting Lily yet again. God, she really did revel in humiliating her. With their parents out of the room it was far easier to convince Vernon of how feeble, girlish, and submissive her sister was. Lily wanted to reach across the coffee table and choke her. She suddenly swatted Vernon’s arm as her mother and father came back in. Whispering something in his ear to which he nodded.

“We’re so glad you could make it, truly,” Vernon said. “Petunia has just been updating me on how splendidly Lily is doing at school – it seems her skills already fit quite well with her trajectory.”

“Oh Vernon,” Lily said, turning her head to the side and feigning embarrassment, “I should’ve told you that was meant to be a surprise!”

Lily clenched her teeth as her mother brightened. Damn her. Once again, Petunia had done an excellent job of wheedling vague praise out of her fiancé so as to make her parents oblivious about what Lily had just been subjected to. Given the Statute, the man probably was still clueless, but it didn’t make the situation any better. The party proper hadn’t even started and she was already hating it.

As the night wore on, Lily became increasingly impatient to get home. Her feet felt like a thousand knives were being stabbed into her, yet she knew she couldn’t remove them lest her mother catch her. She didn’t really want to sit down with the older women, but in the end she caved. The relief was immediate and Lily exhaled. The neighboring women took notice and Lily felt their disapproving stares, but it felt too good to be off her feet to care.

Lily’s thoughts wandered as far away from the party as they could get, immersing herself in what actually made her nervous – McGonagall’s level of satisfaction with her essay on the scrap. Studying the issue, much less writing about it had been a nightmare amid everything else, but she had managed to get it done and felt her work was, if not perfect, still excellent. She desperately needed it to be. She wanted to make her parents proud even if Dad couldn’t afford the time off to see her very often. The Academy would be an escape from so many things, including the darkness consuming the world she loved. Even if she’d still be here – or close enough – she probably wouldn’t be considered a potential ‘danger’ anymore and she’d be able to focus completely on her studies. Word was the Ministry was fully mobilized now though and she was confident that they could squash the problem.

Her thoughts wandered to James, which was both a blessing and a curse. They’d been brilliant. Then a disaster. Then…okay (?) again. Better than okay by the end of exams. Not quite brilliant, but good. She’d brought it on, but would their relationship always be this kind of rollercoaster? It was also difficult to reconcile the depth of her feelings for him with what she was about to do. She’d be here, yes but never sitting still, whether he was playing quidditch, managing it, or out fighting. Which left them…where? That was for later though. He was a blessing. This last term was going to be a blessing, whatever it brought. She realized in that moment that she yearned for him to yank her out of this hellhole and have a good snog and whatever kind of dinner.

Unfortunately she was interrupted. “You’re Miss Evans aren’t you? Well, the better looking Miss Evans anyway.”

Ahh, another Lothario. “Are you insulting my sister?”

“Of course not!” he protested. “Simply giving you a compliment. She is radiant, but you…suffice it to say she pales in comparison.”

She restrained herself from full on rolling her eyes. “That’s kind of you to say,” she said. “It is her party though so I should probably get off my bum and join my family.”

“Please don’t,” he said, gently taking her hand. “I’m Baxter. Baxter Wainwright. And it would be a shame if you left so soon. We haven’t yet been properly acquainted.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to be–“

“Please. Lily is it? Indulge me.”

There was too much of a horde between Lily and her sister now that she decided to oblige. He was a charmer, but ultimately harmless and what could be wrong with using him for a conversation? “Alright,” she said, following him to one of the tables nearby.

As they started talking, she felt glad to be removed from the so-called frivolity of the event, but the conversation itself didn’t bring her any pleasure. They were about ten minutes in and he was rambling about raising mooncalves. The longer she listened though, the more she realized that she was probably giving this Baxter character the wrong idea. Despite what she’d done to Lionel, it really wasn’t in her nature and a few minutes later when she felt his hand on the top of hers she pulled back. “I have a boyfriend.”

He instantly chilled. “I see. He’s not here, obviously, but don’t let me keep you.”

Fortunately, things happened to be winding down. Alas, things wound down, and as she saw her parents saying their goodbyes, she approached to wish Petunia well before leaving. She’d escaped two circles of hell.

When she got home, she saw a letter on the front step. Her parents passed by as she picked it up, accustomed by now to the bizarre method of wizarding delivery. From the scrawl on the outside, she could tell it was a letter from James, even as he must have just been settling in for Christmas. It took her back ages, back to when she’d come home from second grade and insisted her parents let her get a pen pal, to feel as happy to receive a letter. The first thing she did was get out of her horrible shoes before she flung herself down on her bed. She smiled as she tore the envelope open.

_Lils,_

She should _never_ have responded to that.

_Lils,_

_I hope you’re having a good start to break and that your descent into hell has ended with a full recovery. I’m writing because I’m still freaking out – I mean, I’m writing because I wanted to write you anyway – but I had to share that I signed with the BIQL today! The actual commissioner came to dinner to go over everything and they wanted me to sign up for draft day coverage too – which I obviously did. I can’t tell you how excited I am and since my parents were already there you HAD to be the first person I told! If you’re asking why the hell I did it…well I thought about our conversation about not giving up on our dreams just because things are the way they are. I was nervous actually, who’d have thought? But you pushed me over the top so I’m going to do it. Professional quidditch!_

_I know you said we can’t see each other over break for this, that, or the other reason, but I hope you might change your mind. I miss you. Hope you can write at least._

_James._

She put down the letter in something of a shock. Last they’d talked it had seemed like James _wasn’t_ going to sign on the dotted line. But now he had? She was glad she’d followed through on the Academy like she’d originally intended, but a part of her wondered if he still had misgivings. He seemed delighted though and she was happy for him. Smiling because _he_ was happy was new.

Lily was, at the same time, disappointed because she knew there was no way they could see each other. Her parents would not let her go see a boy they didn’t know – especially one they knew she had never been fond of – and for her part she was nowhere near ready for him to come here. For so many reasons. Still, she could write back and maybe if she did it quickly, they could exchange plenty of letters. It wouldn’t be the same as seeing each other, but it was something and it made her happy that it was.

_James,_

_It’s so good to hear from you! I didn’t expect I would until after Christmas honestly, but it was a great surprise to come home too after my descent into hell. That description was on the money. Petunia got off taunting me in front of her fiancé making it sound like I’m some sort of unambitious idiot and that was all before I had to fend off an unwanted guest and keep my feet from turning into bloody stumps._

_That was probably more than you wanted to know. At least Petunia doesn’t live at home anymore so I can have at least a little peace this year._

_You’re going to be a real, professional player, are you? That’s so exciting and I’m so happy for you! I don’t know the ins and outs like you do, but from what I’ve seen you play really great – and apparently a lot of other people agree. I guess that means you can only play here? I’m still waiting to hear back from McGonagall about her recommendation since I can’t do anything more without it, but I’m hoping. Maybe she’ll mail it for Christmas?_

_I really do wish I could see you. But you know how it is, not being local and all. Usually I’m waiting to get back to Hogwarts just for new spells, new potions, and more classes, but I really, actually want to get back for something else now._

_Miss you too._

_Lily_

Sirius was waiting for Grace at the market dressed in what he would once have described as ‘Remus attire’ – dark wash jeans and a smart button-down with a nice sweater. His feet were a walking disaster, but hopefully she wouldn’t be spending much time watching those. They were supposed to meet at two – just after a lunch engagement – but she appeared to be running a bit late. Sirius didn’t concern himself with it as typically girls took a bit more time to get ready to see him. He knew Grace was far from typical – it’s what kept him attracted to her after her beauty wore off and the absence of sex set in – but still.

When he finally saw her walking up he was disappointed to find her on the arm of a rather well-built if nerdy boy. Honestly he looked like James, the bugger, but he could see already that the worst had come to pass.

“Sirius!” she said, greeting him happily and surprised him by still enveloping him in a hug. “I’m sorry I’m late. Joshua kept me. I hope you don’t mind if he joins us.”

Sirius saw the edges of a hickey she’d tried to cover with concealer. “Not at all, mate,” he said, shaking the boy’s hand firmly. Damn James and buoying his false hopes!

Unsurprisingly, Joshua was one of Grace’s fellow geniuses. Sirius considered himself to be quite smart, but his brain was wired altogether differently and Grace had to find simpler things to involve him in their conversation. He had never had to worry about it before because he lived life as the first wheel, but he was quickly learning what it was like to only be obligatorily welcome. He’d thought Grace was the type of girl to have the well, graciousness, to let him know they’d have to reschedule – or not meet at all – if he was just going to be a useless tagalong, but apparently she’d been too caught up.

“So…” he ventured. “Obviously Grace already knows, but do you mind my asking what you study in school?”

Joshua laughed. “Have I been so remiss?” he asked Grace.

“I’m afraid, yes,” she replied, her tone that of a lovestruck fifth-year.

“Well I do hope you’ll accept my apology, Sirius. I’m studying propulsion. Grace and I met in the library burning the midnight oil.”

“I’m sorry, propulsion?” Sirius asked.

“Most schools consider it a specialty of engineering, but Cambridge, being more progressive, considers it a field in its own regard. In lay terms, it’s rocket science.”

Fucking _rocket science_? This bastard was going to be able to fly Grace to the bloody moon one day. Probably someday soon. “Well that sounds way over my head. Closest I’ve come to that is figuring out how to…land my plane at high speed…while dealing with…wind shear.” That was a brilliant way to describe his quidditch exploits, right?

“A pilot! I didn’t know! You’re always so secretive, Sirius,” Grace tutted. “Perhaps we can go on a flight sometime.”

“Yes. Definitely. Plane’s in the shop right now though, see. My instincts weren’t exactly perfect the last time out. Damaged the landing gear, but by God was it worth it.”

“And a daredevil at that!” Joshua observed. “You’d have the making of a good fighter pilot. Have you considered enlisting after you graduate?”

Sirius was more than considering enlisting, though it was a far different career path than Mr. Rocket was referencing. “It’s something I’ve definitely thought about. Unfortunately, I think I’ll be made to stay in the family business. Undesirable business, but someone has to take over for my father.”

“A shame. I’ve lost too many classmates to that kind of enterprise. Decades gone before true freedom and even then it’s something of a prison I’d imagine, not being able to pursue a dream.”

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded. “My mate just got his uhh…acceptance letter to some place across the pond. Honestly the names of those places, it’s all Greek to me, but there’s going to be quite the party after Christmas.”

“A party? Really?” Grace asked.

“Yes, yes,” Sirius groaned. “His father’s some obscure sort of dignitary. My friend doesn’t really want anything to do with it – just more mess on him – but it’s something of an obligatory occasion.”

“Well at least he’ll have a few celebrations! I only get the one,” Grace pouted.

Joshua rolled his eyes. “Yes, darling. It’s terribly tragic.”

“You shut your mouth,” she said, swatting him. “I’ll have you know that I was planning on hosting an engagement party for my sister and she off and eloped. Can you believe it? My mother and father were furious.”

“Well, at least she’s got spunk. It must run in the family.”

God. There were nearly back at the market which was all the better because Sirius could really deal with no more of either of them. Fortunately he’d found a shortcut that he could use to get back to James’s so he was able to bail even earlier.

“Well, I think this is me,” he said, pointing toward the hill outside town.

Grace touched his arm, just lightly. “Oh, but Sirius we’re nearly back to the market.”

“I’ve gotten better acquainted with the place since we last met,” he said. “Besides, who said my friend was only having a fancy celebration.”

“Oh dear…”

“Yes, much debauchery this evening. I hope the two of you enjoy yours.”

Sirius walked all the way back wanting to rip the uncomfortable bloody sweater right off, but he didn’t think Mrs. Potter would take too kindly to that. First off he’d have to use his wand in public and second he knew that magical fabric like that would never be quite the same. He should’ve stayed alone at his flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well I know this chapter was quite a lengthy one, but I wanted to capture all the major players with ongoing arcs. As you see, though there’s some jobby job angst, hopefully you see that we’ve moved past the drama I’ve got in store for James and Lily. Now my challenge will be to write their relationship for you in a satisfactory fashion as we wrap up the side arcs and bring the story to a close. I expect to wrap up at about seventy to seventy-five chapters so there’s not long until I bid you farewell.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	63. Blessed to Be Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You were lucky with a room assignment, but we're seventeen now. How long after school until you're just not invited anymore?'

Lily threw her arms around James when she saw him on the platform. To others it might have felt like three weeks of letters was merely surviving, but she couldn’t feel better about their relationship right now, wrapping her in around him once she’d gotten there. He’d been standing close to the entrance of the platform, obviously waiting and the hug felt great. Sprinting to him as in one of her movies was never on the cards, but he didn’t seem to care as he stepped toward her with a smile the likes of which she hadn’t seen in too long.

“I can’t believe you beat me here! I think there’s been…well, maybe you have beaten me to a fair amount of things recently.”

“That might have been on purpose,” he said. “Or maybe I just became extremely dedicated to preparation.”

“Your hair is still a mess. You call this preparation?”

“Very unfair. Though I wasn’t prepared for you stealing my thunder with that hug.”

Lily pondered their train situation. They’d be together to reconvene the prefect team, but otherwise not. She considered asking him to sit with she, Marlene, and Alana instead, but even though she wanted she knew it wouldn’t be fair to separate him from the four friends he’d made from the first day at Hogwarts. She knew he knew it wouldn’t be fair to her to do the same.

So it was that Lily found herself staring out the window waiting for Hogwarts to come into view when Marlene whacked her with a book. “You can’t see the broom closets from the outside, you know…”

“What? Oh. That wasn’t what I was thinking about.”

“Ahh. The greenhouses then. Dirty place to get dirty, but that shed has worked for ages.”

Lily’s face scrunched. “Marlene that’s just disgusting.”

She shrugged. “Alana?”

Alana looked nervous, as usual when it came to James. Lily’s boyfriend wasn’t a topic of conversation between the pair, though that was her doing, not Lily’s.

“Yeah it’s great. Really secluded.”

“Though…” Marlene said, leaning forward conspiratorially, “you can hardly be a proper quidditch girlfriend if you don’t fool around in the locker room.”

“I’m not a ‘quidditch’ girlfriend.”

“You’re dating a future professional quidditch player, Lily,” Alana offered quietly.

Lily crossed her arms. “But I’m not dating him because of quidditch. And he’s not dating me because I’m one of his fans,” she huffed.

“Whatever,” Marlene said. “Stillaquidditchgirlfriend,” she coughed.

“Shut up, Marlene.”

In the other cabin, James was staring off in the same direction his girlfriend had been.

“Looking for the pitch, Prongs?” Sirius asked.

“You can’t be serious,” Remus interjected before James could respond.

Sirius scowled. “Brooms before…something.”

“Just because you’re sore at the world doesn’t mean you need to take it out on everyone else,” Peter snapped. “You’re not the only one who had a rough Christmas.”

While they all knew, Peter didn’t often talk about just how bad things were beyond saying they weren’t bad enough for him to need James or Sirius’s offers of money. “What do you mean, mate?”

The boy blanched. “Nothing. We just didn’t have much for Hannah.”

“Yeah, right,” Sirius said crossing his arms as he stared Peter down. “You look like hell.”

It was true that Peter looked bad. There weren’t any injuries healing this time, but the boy seemed weak and while he wouldn’t accept money when offered, he voraciously consumed the snacks everyone else had bought for the cabin. It wasn’t the first time, but it was far more noticeable to James on this trip as his friend shoveled down far more than his fair share of the sweets. Sirius was about to comment, but James gave him a warning stare and Sirius backed off.

“How’s Hannah?” Remus asked, trying to break the silence.

“She’s good,” Peter lied. “I was able to give her the toy quidditch gear she was asking for.”

“That’s great!” James said. “She must’ve been really happy with that!”

Peter cracked the tiniest bit of a smile. “Yeah, she was.”

“And you?”

“At least I didn’t get beat up.”

As they stepped off the train, the other boys left Peter behind as they wandered off to meet with friends before hopping into the carriages. It was another way he was envious of them. While he wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, they had other friends and lives of their own. Sirius, grumpy as he was, had sidled up to Maggie to talk quidditch while James headed over to his dream girl. Remus was a bit lonely too, but even he had the group he studied with. Peter had them.

He was surprised to hear the voice he did behind him. “They don’t pay you much attention do they?” Snape asked. “I know what it’s like to be the odd man out.”

“They pay plenty of attention,” Peter said, frowning. “They just have other friends too.”

“Of course they do. You don’t demand their _real_ attention and so it’s just become a routine to be left by the wayside?”

Peter didn’t like what Snape was saying and started walking toward the assembling crowd.

“No matter how much you deny it, you know it’s true,” the boy continued, “You don’t play quidditch. Lupin doesn’t see you as studious enough. You’re really only good for a game of chess. And the butt of jokes of course. But like I said, you already know that.”

“What the hell do you want you ball of scum?” Peter growled, rounding on Snape.

This time, the Slytherin actually smiled at the insult for once. “I want to help you, Peter.”

“If you think I’m going to help you do anything to my friends you’re mad.”

“They’ll be perfectly safe, Peter. I just want to help you with Nigel and your mother.”

“How the hell–“

“Irrelevant,” Snape said, waving the boy’s concerns away. “They’re the problems in your life. You want to be rid of problems so you can take care of Hannah don’t you? Imagine the freedom you’d have. You’d finally be like them,” he continued, gesturing toward his friends. “Don’t you think Black would be jealous for once if you were dating a girl like Penny?”

“You’re…I don’t know who you’ve talked to, but Penny’s just a neighbor. She works hard and helps me out here and there. She’s probably seeing someone anyway – not that it’s any of your business. Just leave me alone.”

“I know deep down you’ve never felt like a Gryffindor. Never belonged,” Snape prodded. “but I think you’re brave enough to show your friends just how strong you are and how important you can be.”

“You hate them! There’s a catch.”

“I don’t hate you. Have I ever sent as much as a hateful word in _your_ direction? Poor boys from poor families – abandoned by their fathers and unappreciated by their Houses. We’ve both tried hard but it’s difficult to make friends when no one understands you. You were lucky with a room assignment, but we’re seventeen now. How long after school until you just aren’t invited anymore?”

“Fuck you!” Peter growled. “Get the fuck out of my face.” With that he was off, catching up to his friends as they started boarding the carriages. Snape was a sick bastard who had no idea what he was talking about.

Once inside the castle, James flicked his wand to unpack and made for the common room nearly before the other boys could say a word. It was the fourteenth time through the routine and they had a room to catch up in later.

“Give our regards to Lily Flower!” Sirius shouted as James walked downstairs.

When James got to the common room, ‘Lily Flower’ was nowhere to be seen. Normally he’d have flopped on the couch or maybe in the armchair near the staircase to the boys’ dormitories, but he decided to wait in her favorite spot instead. Merlin knew what she was getting up to with Marlene and Alana. _Alana_. She’d be best served to leave him alone, but he could hardly ignore one of his girlfriend’s best friends. Though it would probably be in vain given that he could hear Sirius, Peter, and Remus trundling down the stairs already, he hoped Lily would come down alone. The group situation would go on unabated for the rest of term – and probably after – but right now he just wanted the kind of time they’d used to sneak in between obligations.

Just as his mates walked up though, he saw Lily coming down alone. She’d brushed her hair a bit and done that thing where the girls clipped back the strands they’d otherwise be stuck tucking behind their ears, but she looked great. Perhaps he shouldn’t lead with the fact that she looked great given that she was wearing jeans and had slipped into a Gryffindor t-shirt, but he didn’t really care.

“You look great,” he said, walking up to her.

“You look…” she said as she appraised him, “absolutely the same.”

“If it isn’t–“

Lily put a finger up to shush him. “Don’t.”

Her eyes widened as he kissed her. He’d try to show some restraint with the PDA but wanted to make sure she got more than a peck the first time it happened in the new year. “Preferable?” he asked.

“Very much.”

This time it was her that led them to plusher grounds and he sat down next to her. “You hear from McGonagall, yet?” James asked.

“It’s our first day back, James.”

“Hey. You know McGonagall. She’s on the dot.”

“And she decides when the dot is. But to answer your question no. Where’s all your stuff quidditch stud?”

James laughed. “Now I’m a quidditch _stud_?”

“Marlene insists I’m a quidditch girlfriend so I figured I’d try speaking their language.”

“Marlene _would_ say that. I don’t have quidditch girlfriends. Not _that_ kind anyway.”

Lily leaned in and whispered. “Does that mean I don’t get all the perks?”

This time it was James’s eyes that widened. “I uhh…didn’t know you’d be into that.”

“Not _today_. But this is our last term. I’m supposed to make sure I have the full Hogwarts experience!”

“There’s a lot left on that checklist…”

“Well I suppose we’ll have to sort it out together then. You don’t mind re-runs do you?”

“What?”

“Forget it. It’s a muggle term. You don’t mind doing it all again with me do you?”

“Oh, I get it. And no, of course not. In fact, I relish the opportunity.”

“That sounds like Sirius,” Lily said with an eye roll. “What’s his problem anyway? He looked sour on the train and now he’s griping over there.”

“I don’t know if I should say.”

“Enough of that,” Lily snapped. “Sirius!” she yelled. “Care if James tells me why you’re being such a prat?”

“Why not,” he answered resignedly, “no secret to keep anymore anyway. And Evans! Don’t shout across the common room at me.”

“Who’s shouting now?” she muttered. “Anyway, spill. If last year’s any indication I can’t deal with him when he gets sulky.”

“He may or may not have been writing a muggle girl he met when he stayed at mine last summer. I’ll admit I gassed him up a bit based on the frequency and tone and everything, but he went to their meet-up and she showed up on her boyfriend’s arm. Late. Wearing poorly concealed hickeys.”

“Wow. A muggle. And…wow. I actually feel sorry for him.”

“Yeah…she’s beautiful – not as beautiful as you of course – but objectively, he’d bought her a bracelet at the end of summer, he says she’s cultured, sarcastic, and whip-smart. Sirius just isn’t used to hearing no.”

“Oh he’s heard no…”

James sat up straighter. “Oh really?”

“He’s good at hiding it but once upon a time he asked out Marlene.”

“Sirius? And Marlene?”

“In his dreams anyway,” she chuckled. “I’m glad he’s found another object of affection, though it doesn’t sound like she’s a great person anyway. Probably for the best.”

“I can’t even fathom it. Why’d he like her? Not that anyone shouldn’t, but her attitude…”

“The usual reasons I’m sure. She’s pretty. Blonde. Maybe she was special _because_ of her attitude. She actually has a personality and isn’t afraid to give him shit right back. But forget Sirius. Where’s all your fancy professional quidditch stuff?”

James brightened. “You really want to see? It’ll probably be kind of boring…I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“It’s your dream, James. Of course I’m interested.”

His shoulders drooped. “We should wait.”

“Wait? Why?”

“For McGonagall. For you I mean. Yours is just as big a deal. Maybe a bigger deal to be honest, they seem like they’re more selective than professional quidditch even.”

“That’s nice of you, but I told you I have no clue when that might happen.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Wait,” James said, holding up both hands before scurrying off and bounding up the stairs leaving more than a few bewildered housemates behind.

Despite their letters back and forth, James hadn’t gotten the sense that Lily was interested in his impending life as a professional quidditch player beyond the general enthusiasm in her first reply. They didn’t discuss it or the Academy at all after that exchange and he’d felt they were better off for it. He’d had Sirius to ramble to as his friend mourned the Grace situation, drowning his pain in sport and a nicked bottle of firewhiskey. Remus got word and was happy enough for him to come to Stroud and go over everything. Belatedly, James had let Peter know too albeit without the invitation. Knowing what he knew of his friend James figured an invitation would just be a lost cause under the circumstances.

He smiled as he came upon the large draft package. It was mostly a perfect-bound compilation of professional rules, both on and off the field, draft and scheduling protocols, and a run-down of selection order and team-specific propaganda. There were passes though – five per candidate – and brochures on contract negotiation, agent selection, and a list of certified agents from A-Z. Grabbing it carefully he clutched it tight and made his way downstairs.

Lily laughed when she saw him. “Stop…please…”

James obliged, staring at her curiously. “What?”

“You’re holding it against you like a girl carries her books.”

“Oh,” he said before letting to his side as he walked sat down next to her again.

“Aww. My boyfriend is blushing.”

Ignoring the jab, James opened the folder and began showing everything to Lily piece by piece – even the stuff he had told her he thought she would find boring. Even dumb things like the rules. He couldn’t help himself. But they sat there together for over an hour, Lily indulging him with nods and the occasional question.

“So you’ve shown me everything. I think. But when’s this whole production happening?”

“Huh? I told you it’s in a few months. The first round is March 31st. And then Saturday and Sunday after that to get through all five – two rounds each day for those.”

“You actually didn’t tell me, but now I know. I know you’ll actually be there, but is it going to be on the wireless?”

“Yeah. Definitely. The whole _Prophet_ sport team will be there. That’s who’s doing the interviews and reactions and everything.”

“What about the Cup?”

“They let us keep playing. It’s in the school rules.”

Lily’s eyes looked glazed over, though she was staring at him fondly.

“You should come,” he blurted.

“What?”

“I get five passes. You should come.”

“James…me? At a major quidditch event where everyone is going to be expecting to know things and rub elbows with all the other players and all the people your parents know…I don’t know.”

He was disappointed but nodded his head slightly. “Yeah. I mean, I guess it’s okay if you don’t want to come. Well, obviously it’s okay because it’s your decision and with classes and everything…”

“Hey,” Lily said, grabbing his wrist, “slow down, okay?”

James frowned. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m assuming a lot, but we’ll still be together then, yeah?”

“I’d certainly hope so.”

“I guess I’d just really like you to be there. It’s special and you’re special and I really want you to be part of it all with me.”

She smiled at him. “Okay then. If it’s really that important to you, I’ll be there. Promise.”

James held out one of the cards and handed her a lanyard. “That’s your pass.”

“This is soon don’t you think?” she asked. “What if I lose it?”

“When’s the last time you lost anything, Lily?”

“I…my mind when I hugged you this morning.”

“And you accuse _me_ of being corny.”

Severus was quite pleased with himself as he finalized his plans for his first meeting of the year. The encounter with Pettigrew had been a pleasant surprise and he couldn’t resist his first _legitimate_ attempt to penetrate a hostile mind. Despite the boy’s obvious disdain for him, he’d remained completely unaware and shown no resistance. Severus had enjoyed how easy it was to identify the most important information and to pick at Pettigrew’s insecurities. If Potter had a pawn, Severus was determined that so too would he.

Of course, there was still the matter of identifying exactly _who_ Potter’s pawn was. With a more fully developed understanding of legilimency after more study and extensive practice on muggles over the summer, he felt suitably prepared to assault the minds of his subordinates. It had been foolhardy to suggest the existence of a mole and especially so angrily before the end of last term. He hadn’t been prepared with any degree of confidence in his new ability and thus had surely hardened their minds. He’d considered making the attempt anyway so he might see who had already raised their internal defenses but decided against it. He needed certainty not mere suspicion.

There was one additional aspect of legilimency that truly intrigued him. All the texts he’d studied stated that it was nearly impossible for even the greatest wizards to achieve, but if he could master it he’d surely be unstoppable. The ability to not simply intrude, but to plant or extract memories. It could solve all his problems while accomplishing everything he’d dreamed of. The Dark Lord would be insurmountable, but all the others would yield before him. Severus would serve as his right hand in the coming revolution as the school and all those who opposed him crumbled under his might.

It would receive his undivided attention once he conquered his current obstacles. Small minds today – sturdy ones tomorrow. Everything would soon come to fruition. He knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Before you ask, no, we are not going to transform this into a Sirius/Marlene story. They’ll come up again, but largely in the context of occlumency generally or as a facilitator for particular conversations between James and Sirius. Unless it’s not been obvious to this point, Peter has sort of reached a ‘do-anything’ mode with his home life and Snape will continue to manipulate him into thinking he’s the fifth wheel in a new quartet where he’s replaced by Lily. It’s some of my way of starting Peter’s path to betraying James and Lily – a much longer road than Snape hopes, but it’s a hook for a long game that ends up being consummated outside the bounds of this novel. I haven’t decided how to merge these pieces and conclude the Ellie saga, but that’s on the agenda for these last chapters before hopefully we ease into shorter chapters, slow down, feel the love, and exit, stage-left.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	64. Security

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Did you know what I was doing?'
> 
> 'Penetrating my mind. That's what you were supposed to be doing, right?'

Sirius loathed the library. But he also loathed giving away hideouts to people who didn’t need to know or, in the case of Lily, didn’t already unjustifiably know. As he’d hoped, he was the last to arrive and if all went well would be the first to leave. He was certainly positioned well for it physically, being at the side of their little circle closest to the exit. He glared at his greatest obstacle.

Ellie was with them, something Sirius was thoroughly displeased with, and he imagined Lily must feel the same, seeing the Slytherin princess who tried to finesse her way into James’s pants. Merlin. Who knew what _she_ would do trying to access their minds. Why James and Lily were intent on protecting her even after the hell she put them through was too far beyond him to even try to fathom.

“Nice of you to join us,” Marlene snarked.

Sirius checked his watch. “I’m only five minutes late.”

“Accidental, I’m sure,” Remus said looking quite amused.

“Yeah. Well where do we start?” He immediately noticed a book at Lily’s feet. A book with everyone’s eyes glued to it. “Oh please tell me it’s not a book. I thought this was about making ourselves closed books.”

“You’re so ridiculous sometimes, Padfoot,” James muttered.

Sirius harrumphed. “And you’re so… _judgey_ …these days, Prongs.”

“Are you two done?” Lily asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius griped. “Books.”

Lily leaned forward and ran her finger across the page. Not looking he told himself. Not looking, not looking. “It says here that there’s no real way of developing the skill outside of experiential learning.”

“Then why’s there a book on it?” asked Peter.

Lily flipped through the pages. “It looks like this is mostly theory. Some historical accounts attributed good and evil to the degree of someone or another’s skill.” She stopped briefly. “Oh. But there is a short – very short – teaching guide.”

“What’s that note at the top?” Remus asked.

“Hmm. Group training is not recommended.”

“Did you even _read_ this book before you brought us here?” Marlene asked.

“It _also_ says that group training is occasionally necessary when the need for protection is unequivocally urgent,” Lily said with a frown. “Steps provided below.”

“None of us knows legilimency either,” said Marlene, crossing her arms and staring at Lily with a raised eyebrow.

Ellie frowned. “My life is sort of at stake here so if we can move on that’d be great.” Aside from Lily and James who were side-by-side staring at the book, the girl was on the receiving end of a collective glare.

“There’s a bit about that,” James said, “I remember. Yeah. Group training is best when all members are at an equal level of preparation. It is preferable if none have experience in either occlumency or legilimency so that both aspects of the mind can be flexed by and against each partner in turn.”

Peter laughed. “The mind can be flexed. Like at the gym.”

Everyone stared. “I don’t have time for your bad jokes,” Ellie snapped. “Let’s do it.”

The so-called steps basically consisted of deciding who should be paired, followed by an addendum about mental boundaries. Boundaries that were of course only able to be felt and obeyed by an accomplished legilimens. Great. Just fucking great.

“So I’ll start with Lily, obviously,” said Marlene. “And James with Sirius. Peter with…Remus _and_ Ellie I guess.”

“Why do I–“

“Merlin, Peter. Just shut up and do it already,” Sirius grumbled. “We’ve all got places to be.”

Ellie seemed to be the first to get frustrated because of her unfamiliarity with Remus or Peter. She seemed to be almost sweating with the effort on either side of things. When Sirius rotated in with Marlene he was legitimately nervous and he knew from her cheshire grin that she knew it. Sirius said that he’d go first, but got nowhere. What a fucking mistake.

He could feel Marlene press and pushed back with all his might. But this wasn’t arm wrestling or quidditch and he was absolute shit at fighting her on this playing field.

_Sirius was fourteen and he and the lads were joshing. Lily walked by, shooting the lot of them a nasty look. Alana acted aloof. Marlene rolled her eyes at whatever Peter and Remus were up to but gave a small wave._

He grunted. She’d been…

_Sirius was fifteen and scrawling across a piece of parchment. He knew that wasn’t how you did something like this. Not unless you were a loser anyway, but how else was he supposed to? Hogsmeade with me? he wrote before sending it to her like a paper airplane. It wasn’t fair maybe, but he used his wand under the desk to land it right in front of her. She opened it up and turned around as Binns kept on droning. Never. she mouthed. Sirius frowned and looked around. There was Abby Faraday, the Ravenclaw. He sent her the same. A brilliant grin and an absolutely in return._

Faraday had been a…no…he could feel himself weaken, but at least she didn’t press harder at that.

_Sirius was sixteen and smirking. Girl after girl. Airplane after airplane. It was okay to play if they were on the same page. They were growing up. This was just for experience. Just because it felt good fucking. O’Donnell. You’re a coward. Was that true? There was Marlene…but maybe he was too scared to keep trying._

No. No no no no no. She knew about the airplanes. The other girls. She knew that, but she didn’t know this, wasn’t supposed to know this. How he felt. It was wrong. And it was enough to shove her out.

Marlene looked at him carefully no words passing between them. He looked down at his feet, criss-crossed on the floor in front of him. “Anybody else done yet?” he called out. There were a couple of glares from broken concentration.

They’d all wanted to stop, but Lily had insisted they cycle around again. They had to push harder and work longer if this was going to be any good. At least this time was his turn, right?

She seemed resistant from the off, but trying to apply the force he’d used to push her out, he broke his way in. It was like a dam bursting and he rushed to put together pieces. He captured the ones he knew in turn.

_Marlene was fourteen and enjoying a day by the lake. James was sporting his #5 jersey, but she could see Sirius looking joyful. He was laughing and smiling and bright as ever. His eyes shifted her way. She cracked half a smile, but she heard Lily grousing about them being too loud and turned around._

Hmm.

_Marlene was fifteen and pretending to take notes in History of Magic when an airplane landed on her parchment. It had to have been guided by wand and it looked more carefully made than the shoddy ones boys usually threw together. She’d recognize his writing anywhere. Hogsmeade with me? She turned around to look for the source and saw Lily’s eye-roll, her finger pointing to Sirius who she already knew was the culprit. This was how he’d ask her out? Never._

Sirius felt like his head might scramble and he felt mental violence trying to eject him. He wasn’t allowed to go here. She had, but he knew it. He wasn’t allowed to go here. He wasn’t allowed to go here. And he yanked himself out.

Marlene looked almost bashful, yet somehow appreciative. The others pressed on as they watched, but not a word passed between them and suddenly there were off into another rotation.

Lily had been tentative with James the first time. Horribly nervous at what she might find. She was a good witch. A strong witch and she knew it. James was a strong wizard. But she’d felt nearly nothing. Maybe he was the same as her. She knew it would get them nowhere if they didn’t challenge each other and forced her way abruptly feeling the sensation of James’s surprise tickling at her.

_James was…crying? On his knees in the middle of the quidditch pitch, but he looked much younger. Much, much younger. His broom looked as if he’d flung it away. No fancy broom yet. No #5. Was this…no. She felt exultation. These were happy tears. He was only a second year…yes!_

The vision flew away.

_James was staring into the rain. It was a window into a window into a window. A window to the outside. A window to the inside. A window to a shared memory. The sky was crying. Then James was having breakfast. He was disgusted. Playing in his mind an incident they both wanted to forget._

She was unhappy at how he’d viewed things and particularly how, in that moment, he’d still felt justified. But he was different now. Better.

_He burned for her – she could feel it as she was swarmed by his thoughts on replay. On replay. On replay. He was at school and Sirius had shoved him. He’d helped her with the ink on her cheek. Hope. It was a start wasn’t it?_

She’d never considered his feelings for her went that far back. He may have said different, but they’d been _post_ -Katie, she’d been sure. Most of their flirting was. He _really_ fancied her before?

_James was crying…on his knees in an unknown field. He was holding a piece of paper, practically scrap. He scanned it over and over as he heaved. I love you. I love you. I love you. Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie._

Lily had expected force. A violent expulsion and maybe rage at what…but another vision formed.

_James was crying…wracked in the room where they’d first snogged. It had all been perfect. Sorrow. She doubted him? Rage. But he was praying it was reparable. He needed her. Needed her. He burned. Empty._

She was out and quickly at that, but it didn’t feel like anger or fear. She looked into his eyes as she pulled away. He’d let her see it even when she worried she might’ve stayed too long or pushed too far. In a way it made her feel even worse than she had before because there was only one thing in his eyes. Trust.

Lily looked around and there was silence around the circle. Everyone seemed a bit shell-shocked by the experience. She apologized for keeping everyone and they each went their separate ways, at least as much as six people can on the way back to the same place. She achieved her goal by simply telling James to stop.

“Did you know what I was doing?”

“Penetrating my mind. That’s what you were supposed to be doing, right?”

“Don’t be funny, James.”

“Yes. I knew. See anything you can’t live with?”

“No,” she said immediately. “I recognized you in all of them.”

He nodded. “I’m glad.”

She frowned. “But I pushed you out.”

“That’s what you were supposed to be doing, right?”

Lily sighed. “Yeah. So why _didn’t_ you?”

“Tired,” he said, grabbing her hand and jerking his head toward the Tower.

She took it and laid her head on his shoulder as they walked slowly down the hallway. “Bullshit.”

“I tried a little.”

“Right.”

She woke up the next morning and found Marlene sitting on her bed picking at her fingernails. “I didn’t think it would be like this,” she said. “I don’t think I should do it anymore.”

Lily rubbed her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh stop it, Lily! You know exactly what I’m talking about. Everything’s weird now.”

“We have to keep on. Soon we’ll all be able to shut the door. It’s just an awkward stage.”

Marlene snorted. “Didn’t seem too awkward between you and James.”

Lily propped herself up on one arm. “That was different.”

“How? Didn’t you see anything that bothered you?”

“Not about him. I know who he is and who he was. They’re not so different really, but they’re different in all the best ways.”

“What about you?”

“About me? It was his mind, Marlene. But I did see what you might expect.”

“Your fight.”

“No. How he _really_ was afterward.” Lily realized there was no chance she was getting back to sleep so she climbed out of her bed and started making it, looking Marlene in the eyes across the sheets. “That’s over. Maybe you don’t have context. I don’t know if you broke in, but Peter’s mind was an interesting place without that. Let’s just say I’m not going to draw any conclusions.” she chuckled.

“Do you worry about…what if you dug too deep?”

“James trusts me too much. Neither of us would let that happen. Why?”

Marlene stood up and turned her back on Lily, heading for her wardrobe.

“Marlene? Come on.”

“It doesn’t matter. It was years ago.”

Lily took her by the shoulders and turned her around. “It obviously matters or you wouldn’t be like this. We were all friends there. Well not _all_ of us maybe, but what?”

Marlene laughed half-heartedly before falling into a sad sort of smile. “Sirius.”

“Sirius? What could possibly bother you about him? He’s a prat. A slightly more grown up prat, but a prat nevertheless. You two are always taking shots at each other.”

“You remember that paper airplane?”

“What?”

“When we were fifteen. Binns.”

“You mean the time he asked you out? You know he and James were annoying the fuck out of me so I don’t remember a lot of details.”

“He flew this intricate little airplane to my desk asking me to Hogsmeade. It wasn’t the way you asked a girl to Hogsmeade and with the way James was torturing you about dating him, I told him never.”

“And now you’re second-guessing a guy – Sirius I might add – asking you for a date? Over two years ago.”

“I know. You’re right. It’s stupid. I guess last night it just seemed like ‘what if’ you know?”

Lily bit the inside of her cheek, the other side of her mouth turning down. “It’s just seventh year. It’s last term. You’re both single. That’s it.”

Marlene seemed like she was still thinking way too much about it, but she nodded. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”

Ellie was leaving the common room when Imogen caught up with her. She really didn’t have any patience for the girl’s interference at the moment – she had a busy day – but it wasn’t as if she could just ignore her. Completely anyway. After last night, today left her starting off on the wrong side of the bed. Everything felt like a chore. She sighed. Maybe it was just mental fatigue. How they were going to keep up with this every other night was beyond comprehension, but she needed it so she’d just have to buckle down.

“What Imogen? I don’t really have time to chat today.”

“Why are you so prickly?”

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Imogen appraised her as they walked down the hallway. “Yes, I should’ve known. You look as if you were in a hurry,” she said reproachfully.

“Always ready with help aren’t you? Don’t you have class or something?”

“Yours is on the way. Besides, I have to tell you there’s a meeting tonight. Severus has something important to tell us. It’s supposed to involve something we’ll all be working on together that’s going to make sure nobody gets in our way anymore.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “That’s what he’s said the last…however many times. I suppose one day it’ll come true. Law of averages.”

She heard Imogen gulp.

“I’m glad to hear that you’re so dedicated to the cause Benton. Perhaps you can illuminate us all with your own plans for how best to serve the Dark Lord.”

Ellie stayed silent as Severus eyed her. She readied herself as best she could, but never felt a probe.

“Nothing? I thought as much. Be present at nine and prepared for an assignment of roles.” Severus looked her over. “Do dress appropriately, Benton. I’m certain that when the time comes, you’ll want to be ready to seize the opportunity.”

There turned out not to be much opportunity to be seized. Her mission was as far away from the primary objective as could be. Literally. She was supposed to occupy one of the Ravenclaw prefects with some inane, pie-in-the-sky conversation – not difficult – so that Briony could sneak by and get the riddle so that Imogen could sneak in at some ridiculous hour and get some item from their common room, so that Bryll could acquire a spell component, so that Drayton could deliver it to Snape, so that Snape could test it out in the Forbidden Forest. It seemed like a lot of unnecessary trouble to go test a spell – but she understood. He wanted to see where the break-down was. Fortunately, he must not have suspected her because he put her at the head of the line and as far away from him as possible at any given point.

Feeding that information to James wasn’t hard, though Lily was with him at James’s demand. It was all very lovey-dovey, especially when she heard their little banter afterward. God it was such couple-y shit. She sighed. Maybe she was biased.

As the clock pushed nine, Ellie seriously hoped that the rest of the bullshit was done. If Slughorn was one thing – aside from ignorant – he was a stickler for curfew. Why _that_ was his hill to die on was unclear, but who was she to judge.

“So you _really_ think we can use weave something as unpredictable as wind velocities into our strategy?”

“The ebb and flow of the air meeting the ebb and flow of the broom…imagine the accelerating effect.”

“Why would you tell me?”

“We’re not winning the cup this year and cap’s pissing me off.”

“Maybe if Hufflepuff win then we could still stop Gryffindor.”

Ellie ignored the fact that it was almost mathematically impossible for Ravenclaw to win. After all, this idiot first-time beater was either too incompetent to understand or Armister had drugged her team. She didn’t really care which. Begging off, her target left their ‘accidental’ collision in the hallway as happy as a clam.

When she got back to the room Snape was decidedly _not_ in the Forbidden Forest. The others were gone and only he was waiting. “Tell me, Ellie. Was it before or after your failure to seduce him that you became so friendly with James Potter? Or, more accurately, his cadre?”

Her heart tensed, but she was able to remain cool. “Friendly with Potter and his lot? I abandoned that pretense when I struck out.”

“Interesting. Could you explain then why you were sitting with six Gryffindors in an obscure corner of the library for over two hours yesterday evening?”

 _Fuck_. “I wanted to see if someone else might be susceptible.”

“And so you spent time not only with your ‘target’ but with an entire group of people who almost certainly despise you.”

“The rest of them are clueless. McKinnon I can’t be sure, but–“

“But you were specifically present with he _and_ Lily Evans after your nearly successful attempt ended in a disaster beyond that which I could have possibly conceived.”

“I apologized to her before the end of term. Really played it up,” Ellie lied. “There have to be internal problems in there somewhere. I was just a flashpoint.”

“A flashpoint so bright that you no longer meet with Potter alone, but with his entire group of friends. For _over two hours_.”

“You asked me to do a job. I couldn’t split the two of them up, maybe I can fracture them some other way. I owe you that much, don’t I?”

He watched her carefully. “Take care that you answer me honestly, Benton. Why. Are they. Meeting in secret?”

“They’re concerned you might have a mole.”

“I see. And so you’ve taken it upon yourself to play that role?”

Ellie answered as straight-faced as she could manage in the situation. “Yes.”

“You know what I’ve achieved already. It’s only a matter of time before I can penetrate even _your_ mind at will. Consider this investigation ongoing, Benton. And consider yourself unwelcome until it’s complete.”

“How will I get the information to you when I succeed?” she asked, feigning haughtiness.

“Give it to Imogen. For whatever reason, she’s become quite fond of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Legilimency and occlumency are now in action. Though I’m undecided at this point, there will probably be one additional session that’s actually covered in any detail. The next chapter is likely going to center on futures. Lily will have her sit-down with McGonagall and the rest will also take steps to finalize their career plans. The Gryffindor-Hufflepuff quidditch match may feature depending on how much of this early term period I decide to cover in detail. The guarantee I can give you is that there will be non-mental James/Lily-ness for you to hopefully enjoy!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	65. On the Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'My arm is on fire. I need to get to the hospital wing.'

Lily had left an emotionally-drained James behind in the library when she headed for Professor McGonagall’s office. The meeting had been set for 4:00 PM on the dot and ever since she’d gotten word two days ago she’d been sweating it. Today she was sweating it literally. She knocked on the door gently and was granted entry after only a moment.

“Miss Evans. Please sit.”

“Of course, Professor,” Lily said, doing an awkward job of smoothing her robes under her before sitting down.

The older woman offered her a handkerchief. “There’s no need to sweat, Miss Evans. Though I do understand your emotion, our conversation is not a matter of life and death.”

Lily took the cloth gratefully, dabbing at her face. That was better. She made sure to straighten her back in the chair. She was totally calm. Definitely not clutching the arms of the chair until her knuckles were white instead. “I know, Professor. It’s just there’s so much going on and I have to make plans and–“

“And you want those plans to involve the Academy.”

“Yes,” she nodded. “Definitely yes.”

“You understand that the type of assignment I gave you is only a rudimentary example of the kind you would be asked to address,” McGonagall’s voice hardened, “and you would not be permitted an entire term to respond to the question.”

“Of course. I already have preparation in mind… _if_ I get to go obviously. But I would be much faster. There wouldn’t be any distractions and I could just focus on my work.”

She saw her teacher raise an eyebrow. “There would be no distractions?”

“No. Absolutely not. I’m completely dedicated to this.”

“Frankly, Miss Evans I was concerned by the amount of time you took to submit a response to me even here. Naturally I was made aware of certain…matters…that also required your attention, but nevertheless if you are as dedicated as you claim I would’ve expected to have been given the opportunity to review your work before rather than along with examinations.”

Lily looked down. She was not going to cry. This was fine. She had her back-up options completely – well not completely, but they were laid out and she was ready for this. She was of age – certainly old enough to know that dreams didn’t always work out. She just wanted it out of the way.

“Miss Evans? I had asked you a question.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry. Would you mind repeating it?”

Was that a twitch of a smile at the corner of her mouth? Merlin. Maybe it was. What if this was happening?

“I asked whether you were prepared for my decision. Whatever it may be.”

Lily wanted to say that she was. She was. “Yes. I’m ready.”

“Then I must tell you that even after consultation with all of your other professors and indeed the Headmaster himself I was not dissuaded from giving you my full recommendation.”

“I…” Lily stood up, shell-shocked. What? She was not going to scream or in any way freak out. “I…thank you! Thank you, Professor! I don’t know what to say!”

In a rare show of affection, McGonagall walked around to Lily’s side of the desk and embraced her. “You don’t need to say anything, dear. Your work has, I believe, said more than enough. And I am certainly old enough to know joy when I see it.”

Lily barely cast the spell in time before she burst through the mirror and into the room, leaping into James’s arms. “Oh my God!” she yelled. “I did it! I’m going! I’m really going!” He held her upright and kissed her. It was intense without asking for more. “I can’t believe it!” she said, her voice falling to just a _slightly_ lower volume.

“I can,” James said with a grin. “How many times did I tell you? You’re like the most brilliant witch in our generation.”

“How many times did _I_ tell you to stop with the flattery?” she asked, kissing him again.

“Mmm. And how many…times…did I tell _you_ it’s not flattery?”

“I just. Wow,” she said. “Wow! Right?”

“Exactly right,” he said with a smile as they fell back into the chair they’d first kissed in together.

Lily’s hand found his as they lay stretched out in the oversized thing and she turned her head, somehow unsurprised to see his eyes already waiting. “Is this how it felt? When you found out?”

“A little,” he smirked, “maybe not quite as loud.”

Lily squirmed over, laying her head down and nuzzling into his shoulder. “You’ve been amazing,” she said, “throughout all this. How absolutely crazy I’ve been – even before the meeting. I don’t know what I’d have done. Honestly. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

“Driven Marlene mad instead?” She started to lift up to swat him, but he stopped her. “Stay,” he said simply. “You didn’t drive me mad. I was just as nervous and excited for you. Well…maybe not _just_. But I was with you – one hundred percent.”

“I know,” she said with a very contented sigh. “You were so great…God I love you.” Lily froze, scared the fuck of what would happen next, but she didn’t have to wait long.

James leaned down and kissed the top of her forehead. “I love you too, Lily.”

In the days that followed, James felt like they floated through all the teasing and the chatter. Everything was right and amazing. Every touch seemed more incredible and every kiss a bigger blessing than the last. They still followed their rules, but he’d be lying if he didn’t admit they found every chance they could to break them now. Classes were just about the only things that interrupted them and afterward they found ways to marvel at each other’s magic, which the others had to begrudgingly admit _had_ actually seemed to improve even more.

Eventually however, all his friends decided it was time to corner him in their dormitory. “Prongs, I’m going to bloody kill you.”

“We’re all going to hit you,” Remus added.

“Why?” James asked, genuinely perplexed.

“Mother of Merlin it’s worse that we thought boys…”

“How many times have we told you we need your help for our big send-off?!” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know. Three? We have plenty of time.”

“To _do_ it. We have to plan it now before all the bullshit with final applications and interviews gets underway. God only knows what you’ll be stuck with after all the fanfare ends at the end of the month.”

“I’m completely prepared to help plan it!”

“Let’s meet tonight then after Moony gets done with rounds.”

“Oh I’m supposed to–“

“You’re supposed to follow the yank of that leash dearest Lily Flower’s got?”

“Fuck you, mate. Even you admitted you’re friends now.”

“Whatever you say. Woof woof.”

“Very funny, Padfoot. First: no collar, no leash. Second: last time I checked _you’re_ the one that barks around here. Don’t you have your own shit to focus on with your Auror candidacy?”

“I’m on top of that thank you very much.”

“Wormtail? Moony? Have the two of you decided what you’re doing yet? Talk about time running short.”

“You know nobody’ll have me, James,” Remus said sourly. “Every application these days makes you disclose and you know where that means they’ll end up.”

“Hey,” James said. “We’ll find something for you. My mum or dad can help.”

“I don’t think even they have that kind of sway. The Minister would forbid it even I was just emptying trashcans.”

“We’ll figure it out mate. We’ll figure it out.”

“Wormtail?” Sirius prompted.

“I don’t know. I’ll probably try to do something back home. I need to take care of my mum and Hannah.”

“I thought they didn’t have openings back home,” James said.

“They have some. Dock or factory work. I just need to get in shape.”

“You know who else is back home…” Sirius said, jabbing James in the ribs, “…that stone cold fox Wormy’s head over heels for. Petie and Penny. Has a nice ring to it.”

Peter tried to come across their makeshift table. “You bastard…”

Fortunately, James and Remus caught him in time.

“Yeah. Definitely ‘just a friend’,” Sirius said with a wink. “All I’m saying is fair play to you, mate. Catch that and shag it.”

James and Remus once again restrained him.

“Damnit, Sirius!” Remus yelled. “Why do you always insist on winding him up about that? You don’t hear him fucking with you about your mishap with your muggle princess.”

“I’ll kill you, Remus.”

“Still writing aren’t you?”

“You know what? Fine. You lot shut up about Grace, I’ll shut up about Penny, and James can walk back down to cloud eight.”

James rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

It was the refrain around the room and they wound up downstairs soon after, Remus holding the map, Sirius holding the latest samples in his bag of tricks, and Peter following after with a notepad. James had the cloak stashed in his robes so they could scout out positions for whatever various ideas they cooked up.

As they headed over to their corner, James saw Lily chatting to Marlene across the way. Her eyes darted toward him and as they met he smiled.

Remus whacked him upside the head. “I’m beginning to think Sirius was right about you…”

“Rubbish,” James grumbled, “are the three of you just going to rag on me all afternoon or actually do what you’re supposedly so worried about?”

-

Peter cast the muffling charm and the group dove into their work on the way to their mirror-covered hidey-hole. On the way, Remus pointed to the Grand Staircase. “Goes without saying that whatever we do has _got_ to involve this. It’s easily the most heavily trafficked part of the castle.”

“I don’t think even we can switch up the order and timing,” Peter said.

“Of course not,” Sirius snapped, “but imagine what we could do with that vast expanse. The portraits probably wouldn’t appreciate it, but hell with them. We’ll be leaving anyway.”

James sighed. “It’s a good place to start. We’re already in the Tower. I don’t see the harm in running a few waterfalls of flobberworm mucus.”

Sirius laughed.

Remus squinted.

Peter lurched. “That’s disgusting.” 

“Sort of the point, Pete,” said Sirius. “I like it. Sadly, Prongs, I won’t have people falling into the abyss on my conscience. It’s bound to get on the stairs and a slip here or a trip there…brilliant. But bonkers.”

James shrugged.

“Locking all the classrooms so the professors and other students can’t make it to the feast?” offered Remus.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Are you lusting after someone, Moony?”

“God. Shut up,” James groaned.

“We could jinx one of the steps,” said Peter. “Somebody steps on it and they wind up babbling incoherently until they figure out the counter. Wouldn’t be able to cast the spell themselves either on account of the babbling.”

Sirius nodded as he stroked his chin. “It has potential. We need something that will last though. This is our legacy!”

“Well…we have to pay tribute to Gryffindor. So the easy thing on the staircase would be giant tapestries on the walls – that could block passage until somebody actually pushes it out of their face. And the steps. Some nice Gryffindor red carpet on the steps.” James suggested.

“Aha!” Sirius shouted. “It can be our red carpet into the Great Hall as well. Where our masterstroke must surely unfold.”

Remus smiled. “With the last couple of years you’ve got quite a full bag of tricks I’ll bet…”

“I certainly do, Moony. And I may, believe it or not, actually take after Prongs when we wrap up. This is our magnum opus. It wouldn’t be possible without the place itself. We have to honor it and its grand tradition of magical foolishness.”

“Frogs,” Remus said.

Peter shot him a quizzical look. “Frogs?”

“The Frog Choir is a feast fixture. So…maybe we offer the school some _actual_ singing frogs. The school song and what not. And obviously they jump around and annoy and; or scare the hell of people – especially the witches.”

Sirius steepled his fingers just under his chin. “Yes, gentlemen. This may only be the beginning, but if we aren’t already, we are going to leave this school as legends.”

Lily found herself stuffed into the stands the next day along with what felt like their entire house. She was barely able to move, let alone raise an arm to cheer on the team. No matter how much of a wrap he tried to keep on it, someone had seen the binding of his draft packet and ever since the match was the most hyped event at Hogwarts. The school had never produced a first-round draftee before, always falling short against dedicated quidditch academies around the world. The only former Gryffindor feted as such a generational talent was their Head of House and she had obviously taken her talents in quite a different direction, denying their house the opportunity to break its curse. Many had come close from both Gryffindor and other houses, but wound up as early to middle second-round selections some developing into stars on the pitch and others wilting away to lower division sides or an early exit from the professional game entirely.

Today, the faculty stand was also incredibly stuffed after Dumbledore had cleared a number of scouts to observe the match from a neutral area without be harangued by any of the students’ parents. In those stands, James’s parents were surrounded. Though it wasn’t exactly how she’d hoped it might happen, she knew without having to be told that this was the day she was going to meet them. Squeezed in the very front row between Alana and Marlene she did her best impression of a fanatic, red and gold stripes on her cheeks. Like the rest, she held her hand out as the team flew in, smiling as every player slapped their hands.

After an extended warm-up and a dramatic introduction by Arnold, the match was underway.

“Carrigan scores for Hufflepuff to bring the score back to a fifty-point margin as Gryffindor lead with 150 points. It’s been an interesting tactical set-up by the black and yellow. They haven’t sat back in the manner that led to a shellacking in the Lions’ match with Slytherin, but nor have they engaged in the high press Ravenclaw used to great effect. Rowan Onslow, the Badgers’ captain, seems to understand her team’s limitations on the wings, but her plan has not _quite_ come off so far as their exceptional duo of beaters in Brayford and McCann have been matched blow for blow by their Gryffindor counterparts, a surprise given the extreme skill gap the Lions have at that position between veteran Sirius Black and his protégé.”

Lily watched as James swung outside with the quaffle, creating a staircase with Craig and Maggie, allowing a pair of drop-passes from James to Maggie and Maggie to Craig to create some open space for the latter to score. She didn’t understand much beyond the visual, but it looked unique from what she had seen and her housemates seemed to love it.

“A great goal by Gryffindor as Potter, Brinkley, and Chamberlain turn on the style to extend their lead back to sixty.”

She tried to maintain her enthusiasm as the match wore on, but as Gryffindor’s lead grew and grew and the snitch was nowhere in sight, it was easy to get caught up in idle chatter with Alana and miss multiple sequences of play. Marlene shot her friends multiple nasty looks in hopes of refocusing their attention, but it generally didn’t hold for long despite Lily’s best intentions. She was about to bark at Marlene after her friend whacked her and hissed

“Look! The snitch!”

“Gryffindor lead by 150 here in the third hour of the contest with Hufflepuff narrowly keeping the margin just shy of snitch-proof. That continued effort by the Badgers culminated in their last goal, a triple-toss that befuddled the Gryffindor keeper and – oh my! We have a sighting of the snitch and at the moment it’s _worlds_ closer to Andy Kisker the Badgers’ seeker. You have to question how Gryffindor could possibly reach it at that distance and though it won’t change the outcome of the cup at this point, it would take a bit of the shine off Gryffindor’s season. Bad luck really as Kisker closes the distance. It’s likely to be a matter of moments now and Hufflepuff are only just deterred from bringing themselves to within 140, which would of course gift them the win…”

Lily was laser-focused now, watching the scene play out and hoping desperately that this wouldn’t be the way James’s last match ended. He was soaring down the pitch still working to try and bring the deficit too high for the snitch to matter.

“The snitch jerking and diving with particular zest today, the wind no doubt playing a factor as Kisker has narrowly come up empty on a couple of reaches. Gryffindor pushing forward with its chasers, desperate for an extra goal and Hufflepuff sit deep in defense, hoping to play a potential counter. No counter coming as Gryffindor pass the quaffle back and forth looking for an opening. Chamberlain turns and is nearly walloped off his broom by McCann as he reports to veterans Brinkley and Potter on the snitch-chase status. It’s all or nothing now as Gryffindor run the curve of the Hufflepuff defense. Brinkley tries a break but is shoved off by her opposite number Parrish. Chamberlain a low swing under Potter snuffed out by another bludger from McCann. Chamberlain holds on and wings it to Brinkley. Kisker looking merely a foot away. Brinkley to Potter in the center. Potter dips his shoulders faking a right-side roll and he rocks up and fires! A shot with all his strength looking for Hufflepuff’s back hoop. The element of surprise slips the quaffle by Onslow. McCann can’t get there. Kisker reaches. The Hufflepuff keeper flies at full extension. The bell rings for the goal a shred of a second before Kisker catches and the whistle blows! Gryffindor close their undefeated season with another extraordinary goal from James Potter to deny their opponents! It's a kiss from lady luck and the fans and scouts in the crowd _have_ to have loved that one!”

Lily cheered along with the rest of the thrilled fans, but noticed James slow to turn and join his teammates. The rest of the house looked to the team for an encore celebration and they swung into another line ready to slap hands again. While James was wearing a smile, she noticed a wince here and there and a particularly loud wince as he slapped her hand before heading to ground.

The scouts seemed to have stopped to watch as he descended and as she tried to make her way down as quickly as possible – most of her housemates thankfully obliging – Lily worried that it was as clear to them as it was to her that James was hurt. His primary arm was hanging very loosely from his side and she noticed a slight hitch as he shook hands. By the time he’d escaped the mob of students and met the last of the scouts, she was almost to him and noticed the scouts wearing flat expressions. The last looked almost pitying as James clearly winced at the handshake.

She heard their mutters as they walked off. _Arm power may be less sustainable than projected._ Another: _High second-round grade; lacks sufficient fitness_. Lily bristled. Unbelievable! James worked the hardest and was easily the most fit player at Hogwarts! But the third was the worst: _Injury prone._

As far as she was concerned they’d all come here to see him be great – and he was. But all these old bastards wanted to take away was the worst. How about his tactics? The way he sacrificed for his team? What about the fact that he’d fight for anything to win? She knew she needed to restrain herself.

“Hey,” she said, hugging him carefully. He looked relieved that she hadn’t crushed him, but nervous about why. Lily kissed him on the cheek. “You were amazing!”

“Thanks, Lils,” he said kissing her. “Glad you got to see up front.” He was clearly wincing.

She chose to ignore the nickname, though he had been quite persistent and she had to admit that despite herself, it was growing on her. “Are you okay, James? You look–“

He jerked his head in the direction of a lingering scout. “I’m great!” he said, grinding his teeth. He waited until the man left the area before letting his face pinch in pain. “No. My arm is on fire. I need to get to the hospital wing.”

Lily put his hand on his left shoulder, taking his hand. “I’ll take you,” she said.

“We have to wait,” he said, looking back into the crowd, “my mum and dad are probably looking for me. This uhh…I should’ve thought more about it. I’m sorry,” he said, looking at Lily from the side. “This wasn’t exactly how I wanted you to meet them.”

“James,” Lily said, trying to soothe him, “forget about that. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“You’re not pissed?” he asked. “I honestly didn’t think they’d come. They usually don’t make it to simple stuff like this. They’re at their jobs all the time. I figured maybe draft day.”

“James!” his father greeted him. “Exceptional goal. And the team you’ve put together. I think this year might just be looked back on as one of the best ever had. Your Head of House might even be jealous.”

Beatrice squeezed herself in and hugged her son, who grunted in response. “You were amazing darling!” she said, kissing him on the cheek. “I know exactly why Mr. Tarrington was so excited about you!”

Lily didn’t want to interfere, but his mother’s comments in particular were hard to believe. Did she really not know how good James actually was?

“Hey Mum! Hey Dad! It’s great to see you! I didn’t think you’d come. But,” he turned to Lily, “you’re kind of squeezing somebody really important out of the way.”

The relationship immediately registered for them, but James’s dad beat both James and his mum to the punch. “From the look you, you must be the illustrious Lily Evans.”

James flushed as Lily shook his dad’s hand. “You didn’t have to steal my thunder, Dad.”

“What makes me ‘illustrious’?”

“Well,” Fleamont chuckled, “if my son’s to be believed, everything. But we spoke about you quite some time ago, James and I, and I hope he won’t mind me saying, but he was bound and determined to become the type of man you were…or are I suppose…looking for.”

“Dad…”

“Don’t act embarrassed, James,” his mother tutted. “You should be proud you’re fit for a girl like Lily.”

“I _am_ proud of that,” he said, taking Lily’s hand. “You’ll get to know she’s everything I said and…it just so happens that I’m pretty madly in love with her.”

“Everything you said?”

“Just that you’re brilliant – clever, kind, beautiful – the list goes on from there…” James said.

Fleamont smiled while Beatrice was overjoyed. “In love! That’s wonderful! See Lily, you’ve even made my son act a little bit sweet. Unlike this old man,” she finished, slapping Fleamont on the back.

“So the two of you can follow us inside, yeah?” James interrupted. “My arm happens to hurt like hell. Lily was just taking me to the hospital wing.”

Later that evening, parents gone, James sat alone frowning. It was _one_ match. How could he have been so stupid? He’d told himself he just wanted to be selected, but he knew that was something of a foregone conclusion. Before anyway. He’d let the others go to dinner without him and Lily had read his face well, heading along with her friends and leaving him behind. The revelry that tonight promised once curfew had passed would require happiness and a brave face. An undefeated season. Claiming most every chasing record the school had. A hero play to end it all. To end it all.

He didn’t notice Lily walk back in until she had come over and sat down next to him. “Talk to me, James. And not the clinical stuff like after you saw Madam Pomfrey.”

“It felt like what I had to do in the moment. But what if I ruined everything? What if I signed the papers, answered the questions, gave out passes just…what if I did all this just to wind up failing?”

She wrapped her arm around him. James knew what she was trying to do but couldn’t take much solace in it. He knew what was coming. “You’re not going to _fail_ , James. Whatever some old men in stodgy offices say, you win on that field. It’s what you do. It’s why you did what you did today and it’s why if they know a damn thing they should know you’d do the same for them with _their_ championship on the line.”

“I wasn’t number nine out there today. I wasn’t just number five either. I was the second-rated chaser to declare for the BIQL.”

“Stop saying _was_ like it’s over.”

“I shredded my shoulder today, Lily. Do you get that? That’s the most important thing a chaser has is his arms. And this isn’t a bone. It’s not something they can just magic away. Yeah, they can magic it way faster than they can handle this type of thing with muggles, but it’s more than the injury. What if I can’t trust my arm again?”

“Then I’ll trust it for you.”

“You can’t trust my arm, Lily.”

“Sure I can,” she said. “You’ve wrapped it around me enough. Pulled me in for a kiss enough. Showed me how to dance enough.” Lily stared him in the eyes. “The list goes on from there.”

“It hurts like hell you know,” he said, locking his fingers together and staring at his feet.

“I know,” she nodded, “but you know what?” Lily stared at his robes. “I love you without this,” she said, removing his captain’s badge. The Head Boy badge followed suit. “I love you without that too. And,” she added, pointing to the banners and the faux trophies and the ridiculous ‘autograph stand’ some first-year had set up, “I love you without all of this.”

James pinched his eyes shut and sniffed before he lifted his head completely. “That much, huh?”

She leaned forward and kissed him, her hand cupping the side of his face. “That much. You can even call me Lils if you want,” she said, managing half of a laugh.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you, Lils,” he said, leaning his forehead against hers. He didn’t care who or how many people were around and he knew she didn’t either. “So much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hopefully you had an opportunity in this chapter to see some futures addressed as promised. Lily got her good news, despite his bad injury, James got the ultimate affirmation of his feelings for Lily, and the Marauders at large are going to get their famous prank. Realistically there’s not an overly long way to go now. I’m still thinking the story will close out around seventy chapters or so to give you an idea of how long (or short by this point) the story will go on. Next on the agenda is a short-ish chapter focusing on draft day and the family and professional dynamics that will come into play for James and Lily. I hope you’ll enjoy seeing that and how another piece of the draft day experience plays out that you may not expect.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	66. Draft Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'With the tenth selection in this year's draft...the Tutshill Tornadoes select - James Potter, chaser, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.'

Tarrington wasn’t just the BIQL Commissioner – he was also the fabulously wealthy majority owner of the Cleansweep Broom Company, having spent heavily on new shares issues when the company went public on the Wizarding Investment Network and subsequently acquired most of the founders’ shares owned by the Ollerton brothers’ descendants. Accordingly, draft day was not merely a staged, industry-only production, but an extravaganza at his estate with Ministry dignitaries, major broom suppliers, publishing executives, and hundreds of rapid-shot photographers whose rare and expensive reels, exceptional aim, and steady trigger fingers allowed the League to produce what amounted to video recordings of the event.

Projected first-round selections were seated in tables nearest to the perfectly-lit stage and its backdrop of league and sponsor logos. Assignments had been given before James’s injury and as a potential top three selection and one of the highest-rated purely homegrown prospects he and his guests were seated almost center stage. Tarrington had never suggested a change, but it was obvious that he was nervous about the potential optics of James falling out of not just the top five, but the first round entirely.

As expected, James had been fully treated within a day of sustaining the injury by the most accomplished healers at St. Mungo’s who provided targeted soft-tissue spellwork which involved actually opening the shoulder to apply the spells most directly before seamlessly healing the incision. Before his discharge, they’d prescribed a strict regimen of after-care potions and an equally demanding rehabilitation schedule.

He’d stuck to it. Though Lily left the potion reminders to Remus, who James assured her was very comfortable with the task, she had been both his chief taskmaster and chief supporter during rehab. James’s favorite part of the support was the post-session massages that one or both of them often managed to extend beyond his shoulder. But he appreciated all of it. She didn’t judge his grip strength or the fact that couldn’t toss a quaffle more than ten feet like others would’ve.

And his thanks for all that was getting her mired in this. James and the others sported not only their finest dress robes, but brand new, fine dress robes driving Lily back into a dress and heels. There had been enough reports about many of the other players for they and their partners to feel comfortable wearing the colors of certain teams. James’s status was a matter of complete speculation and though it probably wouldn’t have changed anything, he had stuck with classic black and white with Lily wearing black to match. Fortunately, his mates had made more colorful choices because he realized that otherwise his table would’ve looked like it belonged at a funeral.

Lily was by his side as dozens of people greeted him. She seemed more at home than James expected, chatting with some of the wives and girlfriends while ‘the boys talked sport’ or engaging with the men, laughing at their absurd jokes as one in this situation was expected to. James tried his best to move on quickly from the people he could see undressing her with their eyes.

“James Potter,” a blond wizard said from behind him.

He rolled his eyes and turned around, Lily following.

“Such a shame what happened,” the boy said. “People thought you might actually unseat me, though it’s plain to see that won’t happen now.”

James plastered on a grin. “Lily, this is Anton Du’Fort. The _second_ best chaser in the draft.”

“A pleasure,” Lily said, adopting the pleasant, fake smile she’d used all night.

“Second, James? Your confidence never fails to amuse me.”

James gave him an even look, extending a hand as was expected. “I feel the same about your delusions.”

“You’re a lucky man, Potter,” Du’Font answered, looking Lily up and down, “I hope she’s there to console you all the way down.”

“I’ll let you go, Anton,” James said, adopting Lily’s act as a group of executives walked by. “I’m sure you’ve got plenty of fangirls to get to.”

Du’Font chuckled. “I’d wish you the same, but you don’t have any.”

“What is with the two of you?” Lily asked as the other chaser walked off.

“Anton’s a prick. He thinks he’s special because he beat me out for a spot at the quidditch academy he went to even though he could never actually beat me straight up. Those academies are all about builds like his. ‘Versatility’ they call it.”

Lily wrapped her arm around his waist as they kept walking. “Well I for one, am glad you went to Hogwarts,” she whispered in his ear.

“Yeah,” James smiled. “Me too.”

A few hours and what felt like hundreds of handshakes later, James walked Lily back to their table where she eagerly slipped off her shoes, hiding them under the tablecloth. “Where’s everybody else?” she asked. “Your friends don’t exactly surprise me, but I was hoping to actually talk to your parents about more than your rotator cuff.”

“Dad probably got caught up in some Ministry blah-blah-blah. He’s great, but he always let’s people rope him into that.” Sirius showed up at just that moment holding a giant, stuffed broom. “What the hell are you doing with that, Padfoot?”

“Just beat the pants off some rude little blighters at the beater sim.”

“Congratulations on snatching victory out of the hands of some five year-olds. Anyway, it doesn’t fit. Get rid of it. Make some kid’s day.”

“It’s my bloody broom, James!”

“And it’s _my_ bloody table.”

“Dull place,” Sirius groused as he trundled off to play Santa. “No room for anything good, but booze.”

Fortunately, his exit seemed to bring James’s parents back. “Sorry to have run off, son. You know how people are,” Fleamont said as he slid in next to James.

“Yeah, Dad. Just glad you’re back. I was hoping you’d have more of a chance to get to know Lily. Outside the hospital wing I mean.”

“Of course. It’s a pleasure to see you again,” Beatrice said to Lily. “You look absolutely stunning. Hogwarts robes did not do you nearly enough justice.”

“Thank you,” Lily said shyly. “That’s nice of you to say.”

“And absolutely true,” James’s mother said. “You have to tell us how much of a nightmare it’s been keeping James from quidditch. He fell off his broom at four – why _this one_ ,” she continued, staring at James’s father, “thought it was a good idea to get such a young child a broom is beyond me, but James was riding it again before anyone had even fixed him up.”

Lily winked at James. “Really? He’s been very compliant for me.”

“Children…always giving their mothers the most trouble.”

“Mum,” James groaned, “this is supposed to be about _Lily_. Not giving her teasing material.”

Fleamont smiled. “That’s the way we get our revenge for all the trouble you’ve been. A terror before school and the way you wore out my letter opener…”

“I was _not_ a terror,” James said, looking at his girlfriend. “Before Hogwarts anyway. But anyhow, Lily is top of our class, did you know that?”

“I thought Sirius said you were going to unseat her,” his father said.

“Oh?” Lily said, raising one eyebrow at James.

“Yes. But the lot of you are teaming up on me. If we can just talk about–“

“Fine,” Beatrice relented. “What are your plans after school, Lily? It’s only a couple of months away.”

“I’m actually waiting on an answer from the Academy about whether I’ve been admitted.”

“Good grief, James,” his father said. “You ought to have said something.” The man turned to Lily and smiled. “We can certainly expedite that process for you. I can’t promise any type of result…”

“Respectfully sir, I don’t want any special treatment.”

“Fleamont, please. But you’re a better person for it. The number of people who try to curry favor…unfortunately I think you can probably imagine.”

Lily nodded.

“Lily’s actually the first person to get Professor McGonagall’s recommendation in like ten years. And transfiguration isn’t even her best subject.”

“Is that right?” Beatrice asked. “James is obsessive about it, though I’m sure you know that. Which of the rest is your favorite?”

“Charms. It’s just always amazed me how versatile some are, the quirky ones just for a specific purpose, how they can be chained with other magic…sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” James’s dad said. “A lot of witches and wizards take charms in particular for granted. It’s rather disappointing because as you said they are quite versatile. They’ve been the building blocks of many critical spells in my department.”

“Maybe you could show me one day? If we ever have the chance I mean.”

His eyes met his son’s and he slipped into a half-smile. “I feel certain we’ll have the chance. And I’d be more than happy to.”

“While they’re gone, darling,” Beatrice said, shifting her eyes to James, “how is Sirius? I still think he should’ve stayed until graduation at least.”

“Stayed?” Lily asked.

“Oh we took Sirius in after–“

James nodded.

“After his family put him on the streets. We don’t spend time with the Blacks fortunately, but they were quite brutal to Sirius.”

“It’s on principle,” James said. “He got sorted in Gryffindor and that was enough for them to start in on him and then he stood up to their nasty supremacist ideas and it got… _bad_. He was lucky about inheriting that flat.”

“Have you had to deal with much of it at school, Lily?” Fleamont asked.

“Being in Gryffindor I’ve been lucky. I don’t know anyone who’s worried about it. If there are any they do a good job of hiding it.”

“That’s good to hear. In any event, how has your experience been as Head Girl? Beatrice herself suffered through the role and I’m not sure she’d wish it on anyone.”

James’s mom shook her head. “It would certainly have been a blessing to just enjoy my final year. I had to deal with far too many unpleasant prefects and of course there was a quidditch debacle that year with fights breaking out over practice times on the pitch.”

“It’s why we have to book them through professors these days,” James noted.

“It’s been…unique this year.”

“I’m sure,” Beatrice said, “we were absolutely stunned by Professor Dumbledore’s visit. Partnering with such a troublemaker must’ve been quite the shock.”

Lily chuckled. “Thankfully I’d been forewarned. It’s not what I’d ever expected – working with James or the job on its own. Obviously it worked out though,” she said, turning to share a smile at James and squeezing his hand under the table. “I don’t know how I’d have managed without him.”

Roughly an hour later, the table was full again. Lily felt the conversation with James’s parents had gone well. It had neither turned into an interrogation nor James endlessly acting as a facilitator. It probably helped that James had talked to his dad about her ages ago and apparently waxed poetic about how amazing she was. She knew from him that a conversation had happened, but it still brought that fuzzy mixture of happiness about what they had and head-banging about why the hell they’d taken so long to get here.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of bells jingling and a short man taking the stage, his wand to his throat prepared to speak with the Sonorus Charm.

“Welcome witches and wizards! As I’m sure each of you knows, I’m not a man to preface our events with much, but I am delighted to see all of you here. Every face, from our hopefuls to their friends and family reminds me why we play the sport of quidditch. Not just for the thrill of it or the hope of eternal glory, but for our fans – those most passionate about our game and the entertainment and escape it provides, especially when those things are most needed. Without further ado, the team holding the first selection in this, the 41st Open Draft of the British-Irish Quidditch League, belongs to the Chudley Cannons. Chudley are on the clock with ten minutes.”

Even before James had gone through the draft order, clock times, and everything else, Lily had known that the Chudley Cannons were bad. But James had explained that they weren’t simply bad. They were horrifically, awfully bad. Though they were among the eight teams who had won the league more than once – an unbelievable twenty-one times in fact – their last victory was in 1892 and they hadn’t touched the middle of the table since. Their last title was literally older than the still-existing racing broom companies. James had joked with her even before getting injured that being drafted by the Cannons would put a curse on him.

It didn’t take long for Tarrington to return to the stage however. The man had a card in hand which he used to muffle the noise of him clearing his throat. “With the first selection in the 1978 Draft, the Chudley Cannons select…Anton Du’Font, chaser, Spintwitch Quidditch School.”

Lily watched non-plussed as the gargantuan meathead stood as the spotlights as cameras flashed around him. With a flick of the commissioner’s wand, Du’Font’s shirt, tie, and jacket transformed into a Cannons’ jersey. He obviously enjoyed the attention of the gaggle of girls sitting around him and before the attention left him, he pointed directly at James’s table before swiveling his gaze directly to Lily and blowing her a kiss. She was sorely tempted to make a vulgar gesture in return, but instead simply flipped her hair away and drew James in for a kiss.

“That’s so you don’t feel the need to jump across the table,” she whispered.

Beatrice and Fleamont laughed. “I told you a witch can defend her own honor, Fleamont,” James’s mother said. “No self-respecting woman would want anything to do with such an oaf anyhow.”

“Bet he paid those girls to take passes to his table, nothing more than a–“

Beatrice fixed Sirius with her eyes. “Let’s not be coarse, Sirius.”

Lily was transfixed as Sirius – _Sirius_ – nodded as if in penance.

“He’s a real arse.”

“We never could completely fix you…” Beatrice laughed.

As the conversation went back and forth, Lily learned just how close James’s parents were to his friends. Obviously they’d put up Sirius like James had said, but the pair seemed to know almost everything about each of the boys. She knew there was another side – constantly working and frequently distant – but she could see how invested they were in James’s life and it made her smile. The draft moved slowly, with virtually every side taking their full allotted time before making a selection.

James wouldn’t show it, but as the top five rolled by him, he was growing more disappointed. She knew despite all the positivity he expressed when he trained that deep down her boyfriend was afraid of what his injury meant and even more afraid that if he slipped like everyone else had before him, he’d not only let himself down, but Lily, his family, his friends…she wanted to reach out and touch his shoulder – to make sure he _felt_ her support – but Lily was nervous it would upset him, and though she knew this was an excuse that shoulder was injured anyway.

Portree took Mihaljovic at six.

Banchory took Cousteau at eight.

Silence clutched the table and the analysis seemed to become deafening.

 _Please_. Lily wished for him as the ninth pick past, even though she already knew that nobody past eight needed a chaser. She kept wearing a smile like everyone else around them even as James’s shoulders slumped. The first team opportunities – first _round_ opportunities he’d told her about had passed him by. She knew it was probably the wrong thing in the moment, but Lily had been holding it since her last glass of water and couldn’t do it any longer. “Could you excuse me?” she asked his parents. “I’m so sorry.”

The expansive venue wasn’t exactly symmetrical and it took time for her to find a restroom. As she popped out, ready to hurry back to the table as she heard the ninth pick announced, she ran immediately into a smirking Anton Du’Font. “My. What luck. If it isn’t Jamie’s girlfriend.”

“Get out of the way asshole,” Lily snapped. “There’s another pick coming up.”

Du’Font laughed. “The second round starts tomorrow. You could waste your time out there for the next ten minutes just to wind up disappointed…or you could make a nice excuse before he gets skipped again – something about a line or making yourself up.”

“Are you–“

He leaned in closely, the stench of alcohol and sweat enveloping her. “I’d hate for you to miss the chance to enjoy at least some of your weekend with a real man. And if you’re a good girl I’ll be here all weekend.”

Lily didn’t care who was watching – and she knew people were. She rared back and slapped him hard across the face. “Don’t talk to me again!” she shouted, her face as red as her hair.

Du’Font raised his hands in surrender. “Fine. You’ll regret passing up the opportunity when you’re stuck here with Jamie begging for him to be Mr. Irrelevant.”

She stomped back to the table as much as she was able in the shoes she was wearing. James was right. The so-called star of the show was a disgusting lecher. And to demean him? As if that was going to impress her? Maybe she should’ve called him…Annie…or whatever female name she could’ve come up with. Instead she tried to cool down, sliding next to James again and wrapping her arm around him. He pulled her in and leaned his head on hers, banishing once and for all her excuse about his shoulder. This probably wasn’t entirely appropriate with his parents just on the other side of him, but she could feel that they both needed each other – him her support and she his acknowledgment of it.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

How the hell did he know? “Just that–“ her eyes flicked to James’s parents “– prat Du’Font. He came on to me outside the restroom. She showed off her hand, though she knew he couldn’t see it in the relative darkness. “I gave him a strong slap to set him straight.”

“I should go find that fu– and punch him.”

“Rubbish. You’ll miss your name.”

James sighed. “Yeah.”

Tarrington took the stage again, working to maintain the same enthusiasm he’d opened with as he examined yet another card. He paused for a moment longer than normal and she wondered if perhaps he’d had more ‘water’ than he’d let on earlier in the day. Using the card to block his ‘ahem’ once again, he spoke almost in relief. “With the tenth selection in this year’s draft...the Tutshill Tornadoes select – James Potter, chaser, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

They all stood and cheered, not caring if they looked idiots. His parents hauled him away from her before she could react, yanking him by his so-called ‘weak’ shoulder and capturing him in two enormous hugs all at the same time. As the clapping started to die down, he turned to Lily and stared.

“God, I love you,” he whispered before kissing her on the cheek, a bit harder than expected.

“Me too,” she answered.

And without further ado, James’s top half burst into double blue.

“That concludes our top ten selections and as is customary, the commissioner is going to get a bit of a break, which gives us a chance to break down in a little more detail what’s happened so far,” started Marcus Swinton, one of the most prominent WWN broadcasters who was sitting next to the Prophet’s top sport journalist, Gary Smythe. “Your initial thoughts, Gary?”

Lily was celebrating with everyone and James most of all as they made their way out of the draft room and up toward the salon, where photographers would be waiting along with James’s new manager and the team owner. They had time to get there, but Lily was surprised James was burning some of it standing in the shadows listening to pundits.

“Not terribly exciting for most of the last two or so hours,” came the answer, piercing through the din with its posh accent and slightly shrill timbre. “Du’Font first, as we expected. Maybe you’d argue for Montreaux over Ngala at number five with the need for a keeper on that side–“

“But that last selection…” Swinton interrupted, “puzzling?”

“From a pure talent perspective I don’t think so. If we don’t have the injury in his last match – a serious injury for any chaser – I think we see Potter at six instead. Perhaps higher given Caerphilly’s penchant for taking the best available rather than fitting a need, but I think given the state of things – the timing just wasn’t right for Potter’s stock so it is rather surprising they’d take a flyer on him.”

“So you _do_ consider it a flyer?”

“Marcus it’s _absolutely_ a flyer. Tutshill don’t need a chaser, granted they’ve got McClaugherty who’s just turned thirty-three and Benson at twenty-nine, but obviously Etienne is fixed on their right and you just wonder where he fits in.”

Seeing James _still_ standing, Lily walked over and tugged on his new jersey. “Come on. Who cares what they’re saying. You deserve this James. Relax and let’s go.”

James shook his head. “No. Can you stay with me?” he asked, turning around to face her. “I just…I need to hear this, you know?”

Lily was certain that James _didn’t_ need to hear any more of it after he was being ragged by whoever the hell was up there, but she indulged him. “Alright. But remember you’ve got to get to the other side of this place in the next ten minutes or you won’t make a very good impression with your boss.” She just got a nod back and she simply waited alongside him as she most of the afternoon as the men blathered on.

“We pause to bring in one of our outside reporters, former scout for the Appleby Arrows, Cael Callum. Cael, what are people saying about the selection?”

“I can tell you Marcus that you’ve got a lot of teams scrambling their second-round boards. I think when Cousteau went to Banchory at eight that was the last _real_ need at chaser and myself and the Tutshill fans in particular were a bit shocked and I can tell you some of those fans incredibly unhappy with their management about this pick.”

“You’ve had the experience scouting these players. I’ll let you have the first word before we flip it over to the Tutshill management. Brilliant or mad?”

“I tend to side with Gary that the injury raises a lot of questions and in my opinion _too many_ questions for a first-round selection when you have real needs at – in particular – seeker and a slighter need at beater in a very beater-thin draft. For me it’s simply too much risk. The upside _is_ there, but there’s no path to the first team which means very little significant reps and I’m honestly as dumbfounded as some of the fans here with me.”

Lily’s ire rose and she tugged on James again if not just for him, for her own temper. They had no idea how hard he’d worked and how far he’d progressed already over the last three weeks. The time he’d put in and the idea that they’d just write off the surgery and the way he pushed through – not too much – but pushed through the early days of rehab with her counted for a lot more than they would give him credit for. And none of them had even bothered to follow up anyway. Not a single one.

“Just a second,” James said. “This guy drafted me. I need to hear this.”

“Piotr Zielinski, the general manager of the Tornadoes now. Piotr as you’ve heard you’ve got a _lot_ of people confused today and it sounds like some of your fanbase – quite rabid as you know – _very_ worked up over your pick at number ten. Can you share with us the reasoning behind your decision?”

“I can and,” he pointed to James, who he’d caught watching, “this lad – come on James –“ he continued as James walked up unabashed. “the reason you take a player like James Potter is because not only is he a generational talent, he’s solid as steel. You can quote me on that, Gary. Everyone at this club and everyone in this building knows he took a beating this year. But he captained _and_ provided the tactics for an undefeated team. He showed his willingness to fight through knocks with a winner’s mentality and to put everything he has into a single throw if it means his team are taking home a trophy. James Potter: never a coward and neither are we.”

“Gary, you’ve got Piotr _and_ James right here…”

Lily watched as the pundit extended his hand to shake James’s – one he locked in a hard handshake, probably hoping James would flinch. “The first thing I’d say is congratulations. I know James you hail from Stroud – likely a Tornadoes fan growing up – and it’s got to be a dream come true. Being on a professional quidditch team is a spectacular accomplishment whether you’re first off the board or a lower division pick at number ninety-eight. To Piotr…I’ve already shared my concerns today. I’m more concerned you’d bring the lad up here before he’s even met his manager. I think it’s a dangerous road Tutshill’s going down when they’re picking injury history as a positive factor in their draft selections.”

“Well, there you have it. The commissioner looks to be on his way back in, but that’s our analysis of the top ten. Thank you, gentlemen.”

After a literal whirlwind of photos and handshakes and a firm discussion with James’s new manager about his pre-prep and training schedule in which it was made very clearly that the man gave less than half shit about the rest of his academic obligations – or his relationships – they’d bid farewell to James’s parents and friends, ostensibly headed for a post-draft dinner that Lily had set up for them.

James laughed, wrapping his healthy arm around Lily. “Wild, yeah?”

“How’s it feel Mr. Professional Quidditch Player?”

“Damn. Maybe you ought to whack me. Make sure it’s real.” Lily obliged, leaving James to grab his jaw while she laughed. “Ow! What was that?”

“Looks like the jersey’s still there,” she pinched the fabric between two fingers and rubbed it, “still authentic too. I think you’re going to have to toughen back up if that little love tap hurt you.”

“You’re going to break my arm again tomorrow aren’t you?”

“If you mean make it even better than before you’re absolutely right, Potter. Running. Flying. Quaffle lifts. Soft toss.”

“Everyone says you’re a nice girl, Evans. I say you’re merciless.”

Lily grabbed him by the collar and yanked him into a kiss. “Merciful enough?”

“Mmm. It’s a good start. Now, how about this dinner. It’s on me of course.”

“So, so generous,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But I told you it’s a surprise. Grab my hand.”

“What?”

“You can hardly side-along by yourself can you?”

“Lily…you’ve got that look.”

“You mean that look you taught me?”

“Yes. Exactly that one.”

“Just take my hand you idiot.”

As soon as they were gone, they popped back out of thin air standing on a doorstep. “Lily…”

She knocked on the door and a woman with dark brown hair opened it wide. “Hey Mum!” Lily said, hugging her tight.

“Hello to you too, sweetheart. I take it this is the boy you were taking about and writing so feverishly.”

She was delighted as could be that James looked like a deer in headlights.

He reached out his hand. “Hey…Mrs. Evans…I’m uhh James. Potter.”

Lily’s mother raised an eyebrow at her daughter. “I thought you told me he was very confident,” she said, “and well-dressed,” she added looking at the mismatch between James’s new jersey and his dress pants and shoes.

“He is,” she answered, smirking at James. “It’s just that I promised him dinner tonight. Maybe I didn’t mention it would be here.”

“Lily Evans! Well, I’m glad to see he can at least get you to dress appropriately. I’m sorry, James. I’m not sure what’s gotten into her lately. Please come in. The roast is almost ready.”

Lily led James into the living room where she flicked her wand, turning his dress pants into a pair of dark-wash jeans and swapped his black dress shoes for casual brown ones. “Want to do me?” she asked with a wink.

“Not in your parents’ house.”

“Wow. Okay. Maybe don’t talk like that in front of Mum and Dad?”

“You winked.”

James waved his wand over her and she looked down, watching her tight black dress into a far more casual, light denim shirtwaist dress with a matching belt that helped to accentuate her waist. Mercifully her excruciating heels disappeared, replaced by fringed, suede ankle boots in medium brown.

“I look too casual, James.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s _your_ house. If it’s truly hideous I’ll take the fall. And lest you forget, I’m wearing a _jersey_.”

“Fine,” With a final wave of her own wand, she ditched the make-up and slid her hair into a low ponytail. “Am I satisfactory?”

He shrugged. “I think you’re more than satisfactory in anything, but you decide.”

“I’ll let you flatter me more later.”

“Kids?” Lily’s mother called out. “Dinner is ready.”

“Kids?” James whispered.

“Oh, live with it,” Lily said, shooting him a look.

When they entered the room, Lily’s mother was setting down two small bowls, one filled with dinner rolls and the other with one of her father’s favorite – red potatoes seasoned with garlic and herbs. Salad was already prepared and plated while a casserole sat on the other side of the half-carved roast.

“Lily told me you were preferred to avoid salads, but I wouldn’t be doing my job as a hostess if I didn’t take care of you, would I?”

“Mum…” Lily groaned.

“I appreciate it, ma’am,” James said. “I’m sorry about this,” he added, gesturing to his clothes. “I would’ve changed…”

“Don’t think on it. You look just fine. Can I get you anything to drink while we wait? I hate to keep you from eating, but I’m afraid my husband is running late again.”

It was just then that Lily heard her father burst through the door. “Catherine! They haven’t arrived yet have they?”

Lily and her mum stood up, hugging him in turn. Despite her age she always felt happy when he tilted her head down and kissed the top of it. She turned to see James waiting behind and rushed back. She meant to introduce him, but the confidence she’d promised her family had returned as she stood alongside him.

“James Potter,” he said reaching out for a handshake.

“John Evans,” the man said with a smile. “I’m sorry for being late. And this,” he said, dusting off his hands on his shirt. “Factories aren’t exactly the cleanest of places.”

“I’m in a jersey and jeans – which I promise I wouldn’t normally be – but obviously I don’t have any room to talk. Not that I would,” he corrected himself.

He clapped a hand on his shoulder and the pair shared a low handshake. “No apologies. I’ll be back in a moment and then we can tuck in.”

“He didn’t mess up your jersey,” Lily said as she brought him back to the living room to sit down with her mother.

James let out a quiet laugh. “He’s your _dad_ , Lils. It’s his house. He doesn’t know me from the kid down the street.”

“Lils?” her mum inquired.

“Sorry,” James said quickly. “Sort of nickname.”

Catherine laughed. “That one was for Lily, James. She doesn’t normally like nicknames.”

“He wore me down,” Lily said simply.

“Well James, I understand you two had a busy day – a formal school event of some kind?”

Lily flushed a bit as she felt James’s eyes fly onto her. “That might not have been exactly true, Mum.”

The older woman shook her head. “Why are you being so mysterious about all this, Lily? Were you nervous to bring this boy home?”

“I’ve never brought a boy home before!”

“Where were you really then – dare I ask?”

“We were at a quidditch draft.”

John came in and sat down in his chair at just that moment. “I thought you didn’t like quidditch, sweetheart. How long did he keep you?”

“I don’t know. Most of the day?”

“Well,” he harrumphed, “I know you play, James, but what business did the two of you have all dressed up at an event like that?”

Lily felt bad that James had wound up on the spot about the situation and could feel the irritation radiating off of him. “The jersey…he was there to be drafted. He was one of the best players there. He got picked tenth.”

Both Lily’s parents were looking at him. “It was a bit stressful, but it all worked out,” James said. “I probably wouldn’t have looked healthy enough to get picked that high if it weren’t for Lily.”

“That’s not true,” Lily jumped in. “James was an incredible prospect. It was just bad timing and I helped a little bit.”

“Your daughter’s tough,” James said. “She runs me ragged in rehab.”

“Injury? I would’ve thought magic solved all those problems.”

“Unfortunately, not the deeper soft tissue like tendons. Potions and surgery can move things along, but can’t outright fix it. Throwing a ball is a pretty big part of my job in quidditch so her help with the torn cuff is a way bigger deal that she’s making it out to be.”

John smiled. “That’s my girl. Such a soft heart.” He looked pointedly at James.

“Yes sir. It’s one of my favorite things about her.”

Catherine decided to jump back in. “Shall we eat then? The food has already gotten cold I’m sure so I’ll have to re-heat it.”

James walked in and took out his wand. “May I?”

“She really prefers magic doesn’t touch the food,” Lily whispered.

“That’s a very generous offer, James, but I’d prefer to take care of it. I prepare things very delicately and no offense intended, these dishes are old hat to me.”

About twenty minutes later, James was chomping down on his meat and potatoes, trying to answer questions while trying to savor every single bite of Catherine’s _amazing_ cooking. The woman might have outstripped Tinka and Nosh.

“This is delicious!” he enthused.

Catherine smiled. “Thank you, James!”

“So James,” John ventured, “what line of work are your parents in?”

“Government stuff. Dad’s a department head and Mum works for a special interest group.”

John’s eyes widened and he titled his head. “Sounds quite important.”

James shrugged. “They’ve accomplished some good things, but a lot it is rubbing elbows at pretentious functions.”

“Not a fan of formal events then?”

“Not after-parties for dedicating miniscule fountains or viewings of some new Ministry statue.”

Catherine raised an eyebrow. “How did you bear Lily’s group then?”

“Because it was for Lily,” he laughed.

Lily chose not to bring up the fact that he’d nearly fallen asleep. “He even taught me how to dance properly for some of those pretentious functions.”

“Which you hopefully will not have to suffer through.”

Catherine smiled. “Lily…” she leaned over and whispered, “would it be inappropriate for me to ask about graduation?”

She felt nervous at the mere mention. It was something she and James had really discussed in detail. “Please don’t,” Lily whispered back.

“I’m sorry for that,” her mother said. “Something had just struck me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know this chapter ran long, but I wanted draft day to be a big deal not just about quidditch, but for the parental interactions it inevitably created, which I’m not convinced I handled terribly well. There’s not a whole lot else to say on this one other than to note that the quidditch and academy questions will be resolved in the very near future as well as the Snape-Ellie-Sextet saga. The latter will probably occur within the next couple of chapters after the major dangler here gets dealt with.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	67. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The day we abandon each other...that's the day I die.'

Ellie had gotten herself in quite the pickle after she’d been ratted out to Snape about their first occlumency session so they’d relocated themselves outside the castle. Much to her chagrin, Marlene was the first to show up. The blonde sat down, tucking her knees up to her chest as she settled into her spot on the dark brown earth. The other girl was brash and unfiltered and when left alone with Ellie she always attacked for one reason or another. Tuesday she was a Slytherin. Wednesday she was a princess. Friday she was a homewrecker. They didn’t see each other that often of course, but those were her typical refrains. Sometimes she was even inventive enough to attack with more than one at the same time.

The blonde had been about to open her mouth when Peter walked up and sat cross-legged between them. “So I think I’m fucked,” she said. “Things took a turn between me and Imogen after my last leak didn’t pan out.”

Marlene scowled. “I don’t know why you sound surprised. You’re lucky we even bother including you.”

She’d somehow forgotten. Marlene was also nasty when Peter was around. The boy was the most spineless Gryffindor she’d ever seen and to be honest, half the time he seemed like he was only around the group so that James, Sirius, and Remus’s pranks didn’t get outed by their fourth wheel. He couldn’t even stand up to a girl.

“Yes. I’m _so_ lucky that you’re _so_ concerned for me.”

“You’re pathetically dramatic. Barely anyone in your house actually knows about Snape’s little cabal,” Marlene said. “He’ll be gone next year. So are Bryll and Briony. Patch things up and quit whining.”

“Patch things up,” Ellie mocked. “It must be nice to be a Gryffindor. Most of your housemates can’t see longer than the length of a quidditch pitch.”

“Hey!” Sirius snapped. “You,” he started, pointing at Ellie, “don’t fucking insult my house. And Merlin Marlene, why the fuck can’t you stop yourself from winding her up? All it does is get you both too distracted.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, electing to stew in silence. Marlene McKinnon was nothing to her. None of them were anything. Just a means to an end except…but he was off-limits. Finally everyone turned up and it was time to get to work. The rotation was known by now and for the first round, they began silently. It was the easiest to maintain when you knew it was coming and by now, their walls were mostly functional. Second came the intrusions mid-conversation. Those they were improving. But by now they’d begun practicing fighting the unknown. Each of the third round involved drawing slips of parchment. So long as you didn’t draw yourself from the pouch, you had your assignment. It was time to attack their mind.

Peter Pettigrew wound up as her final focus – a relaxing end to an arduous afternoon. Pettigrew’s mind was weak, barely keeping up his resistance even when she was his assigned opponent during the silent phase of the exercise. The boy was as feeble as he was rotund. She attacked without warning and he immediately and fully yielded. Ellie had explored his superficial memories already, restraining herself from penetrating the darkest depths that lied within. But she had nowhere else to go. Unwilling to repeat the sights and sounds of her past efforts, it was there that she determined to go.

_He was a small boy in a tidy home._

How was this relevant?

_He was a small boy in a tidy home coming home from school laughing. Hogwarts was next year! In the kitchen he found his mother hunched over the table crying over a letter. He wandered upstairs on his own to find clothes strewn about. His father was gone._

Interesting…

_He was older – still a boy – but he stood in a back alley with a small cart full of wares. He sold all manner of things while two men stood in the corner, collecting and counting the muggle money. Then shouting. All the others scattered as Peter was shoved to the ground. And the counters in the corners – his employers, screaming, groaning, then dead. Dead at the end of the new men’s knives. The knives drew close to him. One of the unknown men screamed, poking his stomach ever so slightly with the tip of the blade. He cried. He was just a boy. The man wiped his blade on his coat and the he and the other attacker beat him. And beat him. And beat him._

Merlin. To have lived such a life.

_He wasn’t much older now, but home was a hovel. A hovel where he looked over his shoulder as if attack was always imminent. His sister was still small, but now dirty and gaunt as well. His mother was dirty too but looked far more well-fed. Rage – but restrained. He took his sister to her bedroom. A shared bedroom in which a small bed and his trunk scarcely fit, his school clothes and little else to wear hanging from pipes in the rafters._

She couldn’t lose contact, but she shivered. This was true darkness.

_A rainy night - Christmas. Penny – oh Penny – offered him money. Shame – but he took it. He’d bought a gift for his sister – how happy she’d been. Then he was taunted and crushed by the man who’d nearly killed him. He waited for them to leave, lying in his own blood and horrible pain. He reached for the present. There would be no Christmas meal now, but at least Hannah would have a present. If she could just make it to Hogwarts…_

Ellie was sure she was squinting from her effort, Peter having tried desperately to force her out at every turn, but she plowed forward.

_He'd arrived back at school and Severus found him on the platform. Peter was unappreciated. Denial. Rage. He couldn’t make friends. Not real friends. Denial. Just poor. Just a poor boy like Severus. No real friends and living in a broken home. Wouldn’t it be nice if it all went away? Wouldn’t it be nice if they were jealous? And Penny. Penny. Happ- no. Shame. Denials came with more shame. Rage. He watched as he was left behind. Again. Again._

She eased back only slightly and was expelled with force. Before she could readjust, Pettigrew had leapt on her, his hands around her neck and screaming. “You sick fuck! Get out! Stay the fuck out!”

James and Remus were ripping him off her and holding back his every effort to – she knew – kill her. His eyes were wild and his face vicious. She coughed, battling to draw in more air. Lily of all people was checking to see that she was alright. Even Sirius and even _Marlene’s_ eyes showed fear.

Peter shoved James and Remus away and glared Sirius down as he stood. “You did this! All of you! But course you – even you, Lily – after everything she’s done you protect her. Protect _her_.” He scowled at them as they stood in shock.

“What did you _do_?” James growled.

“Pushed too far,” Ellie answered.

Sirius snorted. “No shit?”

“You need to know what I saw. Especially now.”

“About his life?” Remus barked. “We know full well about his life _and_ what’s he’s gone through – goes through. You went there didn’t you? That deep? You are a sick fuck.”

Ellie coughed again. “That may be, but you ought to more worried about where he’s headed – not that I helped with that.”

“Come on,” James said. “We’re done. We need to go find him. Ellie you figure out your own way back.”

Ellie shook her head. What the hell did he think she’d been doing since the last time she screwed herself? She had the tools she needed. They’d tell her to stay away and she’d do just that. An apology wouldn’t work on Peter.

“Pete. Open the door, mate,” James prodded.

“Yeah. Stop crying like a first-year.”

“ _Not_ constructive, Padfoot.” James could hear his friend mutter something from behind the door before sniffling. “Don’t make me undo our un-unlockable doorway charm.”

“You do realize that has never actually worked…”

“Does _he_ know it’s never–“

“That doesn’t even work,” Peter said.

“Fair enough,” James admitted, “well, don’t make me unlock the normally locked door.”

Sirius sighed. “Honestly, Pete. I hate to be a prick, but you’re ruining my chance to woo McKinnon.”

“Marlene thinks you’re an annoying git.”

“Lily thought you were an insufferable git. Besides, McKinnon does _not_ think I’m an annoying git. I think I just let her down with the whole paper airplane to Hogsmeade thing. Plus, Lily was being an absolute cockblock at the time I’m sure.”

“Hey! That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about.”

“And I reiterate, she was an absolute cockblock at the time.”

“Marlene. I can’t believe you’re still on about some bloody paper airplane. I don’t even remember said airplane.” James realized they’d gotten far too distracted from the point but tried to recover as best he could. “See, Pete? We need you to settle this debate. Come on. Open the door. Whatever happened we’ll sort it out.”

“We can’t just ‘sort it out’,” he snapped. “It’s always the same.”

“Let me in this fucking door, Peter or I swear on Merlin’s beard…” Sirius waited all of five seconds before casting the spell and bursting into the room alongside James. “Are you trying to teach us some sort of lesson? Because it’s entirely unwelcome.”

“Maybe you need a lesson. The lot of you. Besides, you’re not going to see Marlene. That’s a lark.”

“First, consider our remedial lesson on the unlocking charm complete. Second, I _am_ going to see Marlene. It is _not_ a lark. And I am prepared for it to be either masterfully or disastrously executed.”

James shook his head. “He’s on about some airplane,” he told Peter. “Just don’t try to slick it down, Sirius. You’ll look like a dog.”

Sirius turned his head away from his mirror for a moment to shoot James a sidelong glance. “Oh, but I _am_ a dog, Prongs.”

“You’ll look like a wet fucking poodle.”

“Now that’s just cruel,” Sirius replied, “but I’ll go _au natural_ if you think it’s best.”

It wasn’t long before Sirius was out the door, leaving James with his hands on his hips, looking down at the floor, and shaking his head. Taking a deep breath, he refocused on Peter. “Honest to God, what’s wrong mate?”

“She invaded my mind, James. It was like torture.”

“We’ve all invaded each other’s minds. I’m fairly certain Sirius has searched and found every time he thinks either Lily or I should’ve shut our mouths and started shagging since he keeps bringing it up.”

He shook his head. “This was different. She looked at all the worst. Dad leaving. Home. Things the rest of you don’t even know. She was using my mind for her amusement and I couldn’t stop it.”

James ran a hand through his hair. “Merlin, Pete. I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t know!” he snapped. “You were more worried about how your precious Ellie was.”

“Now you wait a minute, Wormtail,” James said, holding a finger up between them, “The only reason we held you back was so you didn’t choke her to death. Would you rather be in Azkaban?”

“It isn’t only that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re moving on, the lot of you. You’re going to play quidditch and run off with your beautiful girlfriend. Sirius is going to be an Auror. Remus will be off to who knows where for work. Where am I supposed to go? Back to the docks then? Back to hell?”

“Peter, you’ve got dozens of applications in. We’re not just disappearing out of each other’s lives. Do you think after seven years together – all we’ve done – that anyone plans to just cut you or any of the rest of us out of each other’s lives?”

“They’re applications to nowhere. I’m not saying you’d mean it. It’s just the way it’ll work out. I can see it.”

“It’s not how it’s going to work out. You need to get your head on straight. We’re not the bloody Marauders without all of us. We became animagi together. I’d do anything for you, mate. So would Remus and Sirius. And I know you’d do the same for me. The day we abandon each other…that’s the day I die.”

A week later, Lily was laying against James in what had become their room behind the mirror. “What are we going to do?” she asked. “After graduation and everything.”

“You’re going to learn the world’s secrets and make the most important spells of our lifetime and I’m going to be the league MVP.”

She smiled. “That’s not what I mean, James.”

“I know it’s not. What do you want to do?”

“What do you want?” she asked. Maybe it was childish, but Lily wanted him to answer first.

He turned his head to look at her. “You’re talking about this,” he said, “Us…I think it should be obvious what I want. I want to be with you. Wherever the hell we go.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Yeah. Don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” Lily shook her head. “I’m sorry to always be the one to put you on the spot about these things…”

“You’re not putting me on the spot. I’ve been thinking about how to start the conversation. I probably should’ve done it ages ago.”

“You’ve been thinking about it for ages have you?” she chuckled.

James waited for her to stop. As the silence held she looked up at him, questioning. “Yeah, Lily. I have.”

“Oh.”

“I love you. Whether I get traded to Lithuania or you go to school across the pond – hell, both – I want to make this work.”

Lily paused. What? Wow. “How would we do that?” she asked, perhaps far more seriously than necessary.

“There are international portkeys. And I’m sure the four of us – me, Peter, Remus, and Sirius – could make up some cross-the-globe spell to make one of our mirror set-ups. I mean we already have the basics…”

“You’ve really thought about this.”

“Not this specifically. You _are_ putting me on the spot about that particular scenario.”

Lily managed a slight chuckle before stopping herself. James needed to know she was serious. “My mum…this is what she whispered to me about. If it would be appropriate to ask about…long term plans. I asked her not to and she didn’t – obviously – but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

“Okay.”

“It’s just that if I get into the Academy and you’re playing quidditch all over we’d be so busy. And I can’t get in and fail and I know you can’t either. We can’t skip classes or trainings or anything. Our schedules might not align well and then we’d have to study – obviously me, but I know you have playbooks and those fancy reels like they assembled of the draft.

He sat up, forcing her to catch herself on the arm of the chair. “You don’t think we can make it work.”

“It’s just the schedule.”

At first she’d ignored it. He’d been doubting signing up to be drafted at all and selfishly that would’ve made it easier to keep this going. But then suddenly he _had_ signed up and as graduation grew closer and closer all it did was twist around in her head.

He pushed himself out of the chair, running a hand through his hair and then pacing the small space. He wound up looking at her, sideways first, but then turning to face her head on. “You either want it to work or you don’t, Lily. Don’t give me that middle of the road scheduling bullshit. We’re not muggles. And that’s not a slight. But I could see you all the time – by Floo or broom or portkey – yeah, there’s training and matches and classes, but there’s still time for us.”

Lily sighed. “James…I _do_ want it to work it’s just that…”

“Did I read this wrong? I fell for you, Lily. Hard. I love you completely – way more than quidditch. More than my mates – and I’ve been through shit with them you can’t even dream of. I’d do just about anything for you.”

She waited, staring down into the seat of the chair where they’d been relaxing on each other minutes ago. Where they’d studied. Where they’d first snogged. “Can you let me finish?!”

James stayed silent.

“I’m scared,” she said. “I’ve never felt like this before, James. At the beginning of this year I didn’t even have to think about committing to anything besides the Academy and then you happened. What if I fail because I did anything besides study? What if I try to make us work and I fail and it’s my fault? What if I hold you back?”

“You think I’m not scared of failing or holding _you_ back? I get scared too you know. But I think about this year and I think about how we made each other better even with all the ridiculous stuff we had to deal with. I don’t _have_ to think to know this is special, Lily. Do you feel that?”

She stood up, hearing him. She walked up and stared into his eyes and all she found when she searched was sincerity and yearning. He wanted this. Desperately. He wanted her. Desperately. It was pure, raw emotion. He was waiting for her affirmation and she knew it. She knew she felt the same. Was fear worth lying over? Was not knowing it would all work out a reason not to take the risk? A year ago? Yes. But now…

“Yes,” she said. “I feel it.”

“Then will you please, in the fucking name of Merlin, stop being so practical?” He grabbed her hand. “Just take this jump with me, Lils. I’ll make sure you don’t regret it.”

“Yeah? And how are you going to do that?”

He grabbed the back of her head and kissed her. “I’m not entirely sure on the details, but I’ll do it every day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Obviously this chapter pushed conflict back to the forefront with Ellie and Peter leading the way as their issues linger and James and Lily having a much larger near-fight before they had a happier conclusion. There’s not much beyond that other than Sirius briefly barking up the McKinnon tree.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	68. No Retreat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'He'll just spend the whole time telling me I'm insane.'
> 
> 'Maybe because you are insane.'

Severus was meeting with his subordinates two days later. As he waited, he ran back through the agenda in his mind. Over and over and over even though there were only two items for discussion. First was sabotaging the quidditch match at the weekend. Second? Crushing Astrid Benton. The two-faced blood traitor had crossed him. He didn’t have hard evidence nor even any mental detail to confirm it, but it was obvious she was the perpetrator. Unnecessary contact with Potter. Failing the assignment to destroy Potter. Meeting with Potter and Lily and what he had to acknowledge was now _their_ group of friends. It was clear she’d developed a personal connection with his rival.

Perhaps most critical however was how hardened her mind was against his attempted intrusions. He hadn’t been able to obtain even the slightest entry into her mind from afar and when they were in the same room she seemed almost prepared – as if she both expected and feared his efforts. Whether it was in her upbringing, through conscious practice, or both she was clearly skilled at occlumency and he had been certain to raise his own defenses whenever they were in proximity. The talent rarely came without an equal ability and understanding of legilimency.

His thoughts were disturbed by the entry of his protégé, Regulus. “Severus,” the boy nodded.

“Where are the others?”

The younger boy smirked. “Close behind. Can you tell me what’s so urgent about this?”

Before Severus could answer, the others began to trickle in and he had no intention of repeating himself. Briony was the last to arrive, fiddling with her braid. “Whitaker wasting her time singing in the shower again,” she grumbled. “I’ve told her before she sounds like a drowning bat.”

“Not much more time this year,” Bryll said. “Are we actually going to accomplish anything?”

“We’ll accomplish plenty tonight alone if you don’t bite your tongue,” Severus snarled, allowing his wand to slip into his hand from where it had been concealed.

The other boy crossed his arms and kept his mouth shut.

“We’ll begin with our simplest task,” Severus stated, “imposing…judgment…on our ‘friend’ Astrid.”

“What about Astrid?” Imogen asked. “You keep excluding her…”

“Yes,” he snapped. “I’m sorry to break up your cute little friendship, but Astrid is an agent of the enemy. It’s uncertain when she was turned, but what is certain is that she has been.” There was some muttering among his flock, more than Imogen seeming to question his conclusion. “This is _not_ a matter that is up for debate. Astrid has betrayed this movement and by extension, the Dark Lord. It is our duty to see that she be suitably punished.”

Imogen looked quite unhappy with him, her eyes burning with intensity as she attempted to hide her anger.

“Do you have a problem, Slaughter?” Regulus asked, placing his hands on the back of the chair in front of him and leaning toward her across the table.

“Of course not,” she said evenly.

“Good,” Severus said. “As you know her best then, Imogen, I believe it’s only right that you be the one to plan her downfall.”

Several eyes in the audience roamed toward each other. “Downfall?” Bryll asked. “She remains a member of Slytherin, Severus.”

“Worthless if it’s true,” Briony snapped. “What’s your plan?”

“My plan,” Severus drawled, “is for Slaughter to tell us – _now_ – how she intends to injure her little project in order to drive home that her allegiance is not to an object of her lust, or even a housemate, but to the Dark Lord himself.”

“Quidditch,” Imogen volunteered. “Quidditch. It’ll hurt the team but it’s the easiest way to physically hurt her.”

“Friendly fire is too suspicious,” Avery muttered.

“Two or more of us can simply jinx her broom. She gets low enough to the ground and we simply make sure it slings her off. A few broken bones and face torn up from the friction should be more than enough to get the message across.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “How quickly can it happen?”

“The match is in two weeks.”

“Avery. Mulciber. Can you ensure she’s isolated until the day of the match?”

“Consider it done,” Mulciber answered.

“Very good,” Severus said, quite pleased with the pace with which they’d turned against Benton in the Dark Lord’s name without even a question as to proof. “Now. The greater question is how we are going to undermine Dumbledore and his lackeys.”

“I think we should try something more subtle this time,” said Regulus. “Assuming Astrid did leak information to Potter it was made easier by all of our determination to be grand.”

“A poisoning?” Imogen suggested.

“No,” Briony said. “One person wouldn’t have nearly enough impact given Potter, Evans, and their lot will have the most valuable targets on high alert. We use something contagious. It gets to them or it doesn’t, but so long as it comes out that the Dark Lord’s agents were responsible, it’s irrelevant.”

“Assuming we were to go down this path, I believe I could brew a potion to help spread an appropriate contagion,” Severus answered. “But it would not come without risk. There would certainly be no time to develop an antidote and skipping classes would be far too transparent.”

“We serve the Dark Lord!” Bryll boasted. “Any risk taken in his name is a risk I am willing to bear.”

“That is excellent news,” Severus began, “because now it is clear who will bear the responsibility of creating our first patients.”

Severus easily reverse-engineered an antidote. He would be forced to report to Lucius that the remainder of the seventh-year crop – with the possible exception of Briony Burke – weren’t cut out to be more than fodder. They were mindless drones who accepted his words at face value simply because he’d been marked. Regulus was clearly meant for more as was Benton…it was most unfortunate for her that she’d turned out to be a blood traitor when a seat at the table would’ve certainly been within her reach. She’d shown such early promise and whether or not the good fortune she’d delivered to their cause early was mere ingratiation, her mind was built for war. Her keen strategy and impenetrable mind would…perhaps after she suffered those traits could still prove to be of use.

The others left when dismissed and he turned toward the table behind him removing the concealment charms he’d placed over his cauldron and ingredients. The night had just begun. In the end he would save the antidote for himself – and another.

Sirius couldn’t contain his irritation at James and Lily’s behavior. If he was being honest with himself it was no more of an unfailingly positive nuisance than usual – not that he was unhappy for them – but in light of his situation he’d expected a little more support. James had just watched his attempt to ‘woo’ McKinnon die before they started when he made some odd remark about her cup of tea. Things escalated from there. Why the hell she couldn’t see the merits of _not_ scalding off one’s tongue was beyond him, but somehow they’d gone from breaking the ice to their usual snipe-fest.

Lily had ducked her head down, plunging her nose into a book as they parted, but he caught her eyes before she escaped and though she stayed completely silent it was obvious she was laughing at him. Once he started walking back toward their fireside alcove, James just shook his head. He didn’t smirk, to his credit. He did however, mouth a very clear ‘told you so’.

No matter how useful a tool, he cursed occlumency. He’d never be in this situation if her damn memories hadn’t made him think she had actually harbored feelings for him too. Though he rarely talked about ‘feelings’ with James for some reason they were now wandering the quidditch pitch with him attempting get his friend around to exactly that. Or maybe get himself around to attempting to get James around to talking about such an unusual subject.

“Why the hell did you want to walk around instead of flying?” James asked.

“We don’t want to risk you getting re-injured right?” Sirius deflected.

“We were flying like maniacs days after the draft when my arm was _worse_ off.”

“It’s for…fitness.”

James laughed. “Okay. Because we _never_ do ridiculous, physically straining stunts when we’re out here. I’m pretty sure they’re better exercise than putting one foot in front of the other.”

The two friends walked in silence for a while. Sirius had taken the entire way down here trying to think about how to bring things around to where he wanted but wasn’t at all successful. They didn’t do this. They were always straight with each other, but this just wasn’t something he and James – or anyone – talked about. Why would they? Grace had been a step in that direction, but that was really only because James caught them saying their goodbyes.

They were strolling along and Sirius thought he’d figured out how to go there. He was about to open his mouth when James blurted it out.

“I want to marry her.”

“What?”

“Lily. I want to marry her.”

“Like…now?”

“Not here you idiot. But after school. Right after.”

“That’s a bit crazy isn’t it?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

Sirius watched as James stared up into the bright spring sky.

“We talked about stuff the other day. It started a little rocky, but…God how do I do it?”

“Are you actually asking _me_ how to propose to a girl? And _Lily_ of all people?”

“It’s got to be perfect,” he said. “Should I do it before we graduate?”

“Merlin! You are _mental_.”

“Maybe…still going to do it. I think she’ll say yes…well, maybe. Anyway, what did you want to talk about. I know you want to talk about something.”

“No way. How am I supposed to upstage my best friend telling me he wants to marry his former arch-nemesis turned annoyingly happy girlfriend?”

“Hell, with upstaging. I should’ve let you come out with whatever you’re worried about. I just had to say it out loud you know?”

“Yeah…” Sirius said, wondering how the fuck he was supposed to segue from James wanting to marry Lily to his whole idiotic occlumency-training-induced McKinnon crisis. It was only then that he realized James was still waiting patiently for him to say more. “I wanted to talk about me and McKinnon.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Fuck those training sessions man.”

James’s expression hardened almost immediately. “Leave that alone, Sirius.”

“But…”

“Seriously, mate. Don’t touch it.”

“We both saw it, James. I was there you know. That’s where our heads went. Both of them.”

“Still. You literally read her mind and now you’re going to act on it? She’ll know that and it’s a huge trust issue. Can’t you see that?”

“If it had just been me – yes.”

James shook his head. “Pining over Grace is way healthier than what you’re thinking about. Which you shouldn’t even _be_ thinking about I might add.”

Sirius frowned. This was an echo of the lack of support from earlier. Clearly he was too drunk on Lily’s very slightly relaxed fixation on the rules. “But assuming it _wasn’t_ from where it’s from. How would I do it? I mean, how did you do it with Lily?”

“Lily? Let’s see, I stopped being a total asshole. I made a better Head Boy than she ever expected. We spent hours…and hours…and hours doing rounds alone together…should I continue?”

“So this is like a two year-plus long game?”

“Or more. Or less since she doesn’t really seem to harbor any deep-seated negativity toward you. But definitely longer than the month or so we have left.”

“Damn you, Prongs!”

“Can we go back to planning my wedding now?”

Sirius groaned. “Maybe _you_ should go talk to Marlene. Put in a good word for me while you’re talking about how to fold the napkins. Better yet, Alana. She already planned a wedding.”

“Yeah…not using Alana. Not looking for something that fancy…or frilly…or dealing with her after the last wedding she planned drove her halfway insane.”

“ _Maybe_ you should get a yes first? And then figure out whether _Lily_ wants a fancy, frilly wedding since it’s kind of her show.”

“Do you think I should stash the ring in my snitch for the proposal?”

“Prongs. I can’t handle this. Please stop. Go talk to Moony.”

“He’ll just spend the whole time telling me I’m insane.”

“Maybe because you _are_ insane.”

“No. You realize the more you say that the more perfect I realize this idea is going to be…”

Sirius just shook his head. He was going to sack up and go through with it with Marlene. And James was apparently dead set on being a complete and utter fool. Surely at least one of them had to succeed, right? Though he hated to admit it, the odds were probably in James’s favor.

Lily was sitting on her bed reading when Marlene came in.

“Sirius is hitting on me,” the blonde said.

Her friend failed to register the comment, still absorbed in whatever she was reading. Charms apparently. Really? Charms? O already inbound. Double O if they had one.

“Lily!”

“Huh? Sorry…”

“I said Sirius Black is hitting on me.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “I know what you told me, but I don’t think it’s connected. He’s been through a dry spell – by his standards anyway – and he’s probably just trying to shag someone. He’d probably be dumb enough to hit on me if it weren’t for James.”

“Speaking of your delightful boyfriend…”

“I’m sensing a heavy dose of sarcasm.”

“Me? Never.”

“I swear. The lot of you – except for Peter – are the worst. You all respond to my accusations of sarcasm with _more_ sarcasm. You do realize you’re proving my point, right?”

“I do. And I couldn’t care less. I’ll rephrase: speaking of your boyfriend…”

“Yes?” Lily said, sitting up and putting her textbook face down on the mattress.

“You’re absolutely adorable when I talk about him. That smile…the way he rips you away from your favorite book…”

“It’s _not_ my favorite book.”

Marlene laughed. “Anyway. He’s acting weird. Figured you ought to know he’s scheming about something again.”

“His end of the year prank, I bet. I’ve already given him my blessing to go fifth-year crazy on it.”

“Hmm. I don’t think it’s that actually. Sirius isn’t around.”

Lily smirked. “That’s probably because he’s too occupied with hitting on you.”

“Who’s the worst now?”

“Whatever. I told you that regardless of whatever happened in the library that day, just ignore him. Just for you I’ll look into James’s ‘scheming’.”

“Right.”

A few days later it was abundantly clear that her boyfriend _was_ in fact scheming and that it was _not_ about pranking the entire school. Even when Sirius was around, it was the rest of them that seemed to be joshing. If they were devising something that involved all of them, James was usually laughing right with them, but since Marlene had tipped her off it almost looked as if they were trying to provide James cover. It was time, she decided, to confront him.

“What terrible plan are you devising?” she asked as she leaned back into him reading while over her transfiguration in the otherwise empty common room.

“I don’t devise terrible plans,” he said, continuing to massage her shoulders.

She laughed. “I’m sorry, _sweetheart_. Of course you don’t. Really though. Marlene pointed it out and I’ve noticed it too.”

“It’s just…private guy stuff. For Remus.”

“I _do_ have eyes…Remus has been there every time. Somehow I don’t think he’s planning his own victimization.”

“Who said there was a victim involved?”

“I thought it was specifically about Remus.”

“Yeah. That’s what I meant. Who said Remus was going to be a victim…maybe we’re…defending his honor against Britt Lawson’s twisted lies.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Britt Lawson doesn’t spread lies, let alone twisted lies. Besides, that thing’s been dead for ages.”

“Well, it’s just awkward to talk about with you.”

“Okay,” she said, opting to wheedle the truth out of him another day. “But you’re going to tell me right?”

“Rest assured. You’ll be the first to know.”

“Uh huhmm, that feels great,” Lily said as he managed to press out the tightness between her neck and left shoulder blade.

“I think I owe you. Even if you’re going to torture me again tomorrow.”

“That’s all for the greater good. How else am I supposed to live a quidditch wife’s life of luxury?”

James stopped, his hands still resting on her shoulders. Why had she…oh she _didn’t_. “Quidditch girlfriend, I meant. Yeah. Sorry it’s just like the stereotype, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah. Definitely.”

If she wasn’t mistaken he sounded almost as relieved as she was to let that go. Whether that was good or bad was unclear, but wherever the hell ‘wife’ had come from it needed to be suppressed. They were not married. They were not engaged. They hadn’t even talked about marriage. It was a stupid comment that she didn’t understand why she was still thinking about. His hands were tentative now as he got back to work, but it was hard for her to focus on her book.

“Want to snog?” Lily asked abruptly. She already wanted to of course…they hadn’t had a proper snogging session in too long. Her suggestion was originally going to come after she was done reading – if he didn’t steal the book from her and make the same suggestion himself – but right now it had an added bonus of filling the very awkward silence they’d fallen into since her slip of the tongue. Not a slip of the tongue, she reminded herself. Just thoughtless phrasing.

“Do I want to snog?” James asked and she could feel his smirk burning into her back. “Nobody’s around. Why don’t you flip over and we’ll get down to business.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The key points here are clearly the situation with Ellie being well and truly found out and more importantly James and Lily both thinking about marriage. Say what you will about the timeline here, but I’ve always considered their relationship one that took a long time to happen but sparked like wildfire once it did. They’re both eighteen now (the age they got married), but also won’t turn nineteen for a hot minute so I think it makes a decent amount of sense with where we’re going. Disagree if you will.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please like and review below!


	69. A Room Required

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'If you want to stop, let's stop.'

Amid her falling out with everyone, the one constant in Ellie’s life had been quidditch. Despite being ostracized by an increasing number of her housemates and descending into outright contemptuous relationships with others, she had their appreciation and attention when she pulled on her uniform. It was their last bite at the apple as they chased a winning season and now more than ever she needed something to cheer about. Isolation was more oppressive than she’d imagined.

The crowd roared as she and her teammates kicked off and launched themselves into the sky.

“Benton with another harsh rotation away from an opposition bludger,” Arnold called out. “She’s been given very little in the way of protection by her teammates and again she’s advancing the quaffle in relative isolation. Hufflepuff have left two chasers behind again to block her out and needless to say it hasn’t been a bright day for the Slytherin captain tactically speaking. They’ve managed to keep the scoreline close enough, but Hufflepuff have looked very strong today even despite Benton’s isolation and they’ve got room for a couple of errors even. And oof – as expected Benton gets pinched. Slytherin’s chasers move forward to pick up the pieces, but Hufflepuff’s are too fast and have become all too practiced at this maneuver today. They’ll snatch the quaffle and burst clean through on goal through Slytherin’s high press and its chasers forced into a backward turn.”

Ellie threw her hands up again, shouting at her teammates as she turned and broke back for her own goal in support. They were a distance away, but she still thought they heard her. If they were the case they simply ignored her. Maybe the pitch wasn’t an escape after all.

“It’s a blitz for Slytherin now after they manage to recover via a well-struck bludger. Her teammate seems almost reluctant to toss the quaffle up to Benton on this break and as she becomes the focal point of still more attacks, she dives low – _very low_ – in hopes of evading the bludgers sent directly toward her. She manages that, but her broom lurches and jerks suddenly. Unless it had a weak core – not something you’d expect from a broom of that quality – there’s no explicable reason for the movement and…my goodness it pitches forward once more and as she tried to maintain full acceleration Benton looks every bit the proverbial fallen star. It’s a nasty thump and she skids a _long_ way face first down the pitch before stopping. Though she tried to mount an effort despite being badly bloodied as well Benton seems unable to stand and it’s a mishit bludger from a Slytherin beater. That careens downward – uncharacteristic from a player of her quality – and strikes Benton square in the chest. She’s on her back now and down. And that’s the whistle from Madam Hooch calling the match under the grievous injury rule. Hufflepuff will take this one by seventy leaving both sides adrift of Ravenclaw, each carrying final records of one and two.

Ellie came to what she later found out was a few days later. She could feel that her head was heavily bandaged, wrapped not just up top, but over the burns she had to have suffered from her encounter with the grass of the pitch. She tried to lift herself, but quickly stopped due to the excruciating pain in her right hip and leg. Even breathing wasn’t devoid of pain.

“Don’t move, Miss Benton,” Madam Pomfrey said as she hurried over. “You’re in quite a state. You’ve had a few visitors in your stay – mostly Gryffindors mind you. I don’t support stereotypes, but it did surprise me. I do believe one of your housemates left a card though.”

“Can I?”

“Not just yet, dear. We’re still making sure your neck and hip are stable and I don’t want you straining your chest either. Nothing irreparable, thank Merlin, but I’m afraid you’ve got a bruised sternum from the bludger.”

“Who did it?” Ellie grunted.

“The Headmaster himself is looking into it. If you remember, I’m sure you gathered your broom was jinxed. By someone in the stands we believe.”

“Fuck,” she said, a wave of serious pain sweeping through her. “I’m sorry…”

“There’s no need to apologize – I’ve been Matron for a long time and I can assure you I’ve heard far worse from patients in far less pain than you.”

Ellie exhaled, which seemed to relieve some of said pain – at least until she had to suck in more air.

“Try to focus on using your nose. It’s been set, but there’s likely pressure from the swelling along your face. If you must breathe through your mouth, try medium breaths. We don’t want you to feel worse than you already are.”

“I can’t stay. I need to…talk…” Ellie said through gritted teeth.

“Talk to who, dear? I’m sure they can be found – though I’d prefer you let me ease you back into sleep for the pain. Would you let me do that while we arrange to fetch them?”

“Professor Dumbledore,” she groaned, “and James…Lily too.”

“All three of them? At once?”

Ellie did her best to nod.

Several hours later, she awoke to the find the Headmaster at her side, with James and Lily standing behind him. Even Lily wore a concerned expression.

“Miss Benton. I understand you have need of me.”

“I…” she grunted “…I know who did it. They,” she gestured to James and Lily, “have names. I tried to help and they…God! He found out…check, check their wands. _Please_.”

She watched as he turned toward Lily and James. “I trust these are the same you provided me before the previous incident?”

Lily nodded.

James put a hand on her shoulder and spoke up. “Yes, Professor.”

“Very well. I will see to it that any against whom these charges can be _proven_ are expelled. And Miss Benton, I will leave you in the care of Madam Pomfrey most likely until the end of our year. Do not worry over your examinations. The Ministry will permit you to sit for them at a more appropriate time.”

“Professor?”

“Yes, Ellie?”

Her eyes widened. He knew? “I was just…wondering…what…am I supposed to…do next year?”

“Just as James and Lily here were able to place their trust in you despite the colors you wear on your uniform, I believe you will find others you can trust who were simply waiting for a proper example. Remember this: even in the most challenging times you can always find an ally if you are truly willing to look.”

Ellie didn’t say anything as the old man walked away, but she did seem him turn and give her a wink before placing his hands on the shoulders of his two head students.

“Mister Potter and Miss Evans, if you would come with me?”

Severus smiled at his subjects as he read his copy of the Astrid’s charts that he’d when he stopped by to leave his note on at her bedside. She would take from it all she needed. To see a smile on his face was rare, but as he read the catalogue of her injuries he couldn’t help but share their enjoyment of the fruits of their labor. The traitor had played a horrible price for her betrayal. A price she deserved every bit of.

_Severe friction burns to face. Severe concussion. Posterior pelvic fracture. Minor sternal fracture. Separated shoulder. Torn rotator cuff._

The list went on. Once Severus had seen it, he’d convened a meeting where he decided to indulge them by providing firewhiskey. Though he didn’t partake himself, it was amusing to watch the entire lot drink a fresh shot of when each injury was announced. He wasn’t judged for his sobriety, which was just was well because they would need someone to watch for intruders and avoid detection by the blind fools out on patrol this evening.

As they became increasingly inebriated, Severus turned his attention back to what was most important – his cauldron and instruments at the back of the room. The minor contagion was almost ready and he was pleased with its expected effects – it was not unlike the muggle flu. Nevertheless, its stability remained a question – thus the work. Finding the ingredients from Slughorn’s stores was becoming increasingly difficult as well, to the point that making more than two more test batches would almost surely be the last he could manage before implementation.

His chief concern however was concealment. Filch – thanks to Astrid no doubt – had ended their plans for the Red Caps and there could be no repeat of that failure. Dumbledore and Potter would doubtless be searching the castle high and low for their meetings and any brewing locations. This, his associates had been informed, would be their last joint meeting until their plague had spread.

The following evening, he was brewing a test batch when Filch had burst in. Thankfully the fool had no idea what he was looking at or for, but the bastard had spoiled this batch. Severus quickly used several ingredients to neutralize the potion before being taken into custody for breaking curfew. The burning question was how Filch had found him. Though there were limitations on the magic he could perform inside the castle – age-old restrictions from a more savage time – most spells that would be necessary would be permitted. His lone regret – and something he regretted far more the closer he drew to the Headmaster’s office – was that due to their nature and potential to interfere with the enchantments guarding the castle, repulsion charms were among those banned.

The last he saw before being dragged upstairs to face Dumbledore was Potter pocketing a piece of parchment before casting a smirk his way.

With a look in all three directions, James stepped forward with Lily. They were in the fifth-floor corridor staring at an empty wall and it was clear to him that his girlfriend was both confused and increasingly unenthused, which was the absolute opposite of what he needed right now. Thankfully the doors began to bloom in front of them and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily was in awe, her mouth hanging open.

“This is…it has to be…I thought it was just a legend…”

James opened the door and ushered her inside, where they both found a small furnished room. He knew it must be a fusion of both their visions – a simple, wooden floor that gave way to more traditional walls where small portraits or landscapes hung in polished wooden frames. There were two bedside tables, both minimalist, but topped with more sophisticated, if more strangely shaped lamps. The bed in the middle was a four-poster with diamond shaped posts that squared at the top, made of polished mahogany. The sheets were an off-white topped with a crimson comforter and pillows of gold.

James turned his head and held Lily’s hand, watching as she scanned the space with eyes full of wonder. “I can’t believe it. The come-and-go room. How did you find it?”

“I needed it. That’s what makes it come and go – it helps the people that need it come and go without questions.”

“But there’s two of us.”

“We both needed it,” he shrugged.

Lily cocked her head. “But why does it look like this? Isn’t it supposed to give you whatever you want?”

“Yeah. What were you expecting?”

Her eyes met his, their faces close enough to feel each other’s breath. “I don’t know…”

James leaned in and kissed her gently even as he captured her lips with his own. She reached up, cupping the back of his neck in her hands. His soft kisses moved to her cheek and down to her jaw before he pressed his lips against hers again. He’d been more passionate on his return and saw something burning behind the tenderness in her eyes.

“James…”

He kissed her again, cupping her face in his hands. “Whatever you want, right?”

She shivered despite her robes as his hands roamed her sides, running them from the outside of her breasts down to her hips. Next, he slid his hands between those robes and her blouse, sliding the heavy black cloth off her shoulders. “I’ve never done this before,” she said as they pooled at her feet.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Lily was tentative, mirroring James’s movements and he let the robes fall, stepping out of them carefully. Her eyes met his and he could see her nerves in them, but she took off his tie and unbuttoned the top of his shirt anyway, letting the white garment slide halfway down as he felt her soft hands rubbing over his chest and onto his shoulders. She’d seen all this before when she’d been helping him rehab so he’d expected her to unbutton his shirt all the way. It wasn’t in this context though he supposed and as they both stood there, school robes completely off, he realized that maybe it was a matter of location.

He didn’t want to startle her by undoing his belt, so he just yanked his shirt out of his pants. He’d been right. Lily carefully moved her way down to the last button. She didn’t react as he shrugged it off or as he used the toes of each foot to remove his shoes. He wrapped his arms around her as he kissed her again, his lips trailing down her neck toward her collarbone. Her tie had been cast off quickly, but now he reached for her _real_ top button while searching her face.

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, though he could hear her breathing was more nervous.

He unbuttoned her blouse as far as her bra and paused for a moment before she surprised him by moving his hand to the next button. It was mere moments before her top was off and James couldn’t help but marvel, drinking her in as his hands ran over her smooth skin instead of the heavy cotton long since abandoned. Snaking his hand behind her reached out his fingers and unfastened her bra. For a moment she pinched it between her arms and body and he waited to see whether she wanted to stop or let it fall away. Blessedly it was the latter.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said, his eyes roaming from her tight waist to her freed breasts.

Quickly thereafter, he felt her fingers on his chin, which she used to guide his eyes back up to her face. “I think you’re supposed to be looking up here when you say that,” she grinned.

“I was getting there,” James said lamely.

Her nerves – for the moment anyway – were replaced by a smirk. “I bet you were.”

The moment however passed just as quickly when James reached for his belt. Unbuckling it, he grabbed yanked it out of its loops and dropped it on top of his discarded robes. He unzipped his trousers and stepped out of them before casting them aside as well. Lily looked flushed as he stood in front of her in only his underwear and socks.

Though his embrace remained tender enough, his kisses were a bit more urgent as they pressed together again – this time body on body instead of merely lips on lips or hands on skin. They didn’t stop at her collarbone, instead running lower, into her cleavage. It was about all he could manage given their difference in height, but Lily leaned back as it happened, mewling as James kissed her chest and caressed the outsides of both breasts. He pulled away, leaving her disappointed at the withdrawal of contact.

James saw Lily look down her eyes fixed on her own waist for a moment. He stood close enough to guide her to the bed when the time came but stayed silent until she made her decision. She unzipped her skirt and let it drop to the floor and stepped out of her flats immediately after. Her eyes locked with his and she nodded. James led the way to the smooth sheets and thick comforter and she let herself fall onto the edge of the bed.

“I can hardly snog you while you’re sitting up,” he said.

Though she still looked shy, Lily got the message and scooted herself backward. James moved to clamber up over her but paused as he scanned her face.

“I…I wasn’t expecting this,” she said.

He stood back up. “If you want to stop, let’s stop. It’s okay.”

“You wouldn’t be pissed?”

“I can tell it’s your first time, Lils. I sprung coming here after we stopped snogging before and…to answer your actual question – no. I would never be angry at you for not wanting to do this.”

“The room…”

“Makes it more feasible. It doesn’t mean you have to do anything. You’re uncomfortable. I think we should–“

Lily grabbed his arm. “No. No. I’m just nervous. People say a lot of things about your first time.”

James held her shoulder gently. “I just want to make sure this is okay.”

“It’s okay,” she said. She looked down sheepishly. “It’s kind of…more than okay.”

He nodded and jumped her, scooting her back still farther until they both fit easily on the bed. The pair snogged like mad before James felt himself stiffen against her. He squirmed free of his drawers and reached for her panties. “Okay, yeah?”

She nodded then leaned up and kissed him hard. “Yes. Please.”

Completely exposed to each other for the first time, he felt Lily’s eyes focused on his dick as his eyes roamed her body. This time he made a point to stare her in the face. “I love you, Lils. You’re…I want you. Bad.”

“God, I want you too.” She reached for him and grabbed hold, “What now?”

She looked shocked as he summoned his wand, waving a small circle around his tip and slashing an ‘x’ across it before he tossed it back toward his clothes. “Safety first,” he winked. “Now…do you want to get me wet or should I grab some help?”

“Me?” She looked straight at his dick as the tip hovered above her entrance. She looked up at him. “Me?” James nodded. “Oh. Ohhh. Umm, help?”

“Sure thing.” He rolled off of her and reached for the drawer in the nearest bedside table, unsurprised to find exactly what he was looking for. Opening the small bottle, he squeezed a little on himself and more on his hand before rubbing himself up and down. “You look pretty ready, but this’ll help.”

James wiped his hand off on the comforter and leaned down, lining himself up with Lily. He kissed the parts of her he could reach as he inched forward, finally prodding her entrance.

She nodded.

James started for home.

Lily groaned as he pushed a quarter of the way in and James moved to balance himself on his temporarily stronger arm, reaching down between her legs and finding her clit, he briefly rubbed the nearby area causing Lily to arch a bit on the bed before he tweaked it.

“Ohhh. Mmm,” she moaned as James slid in a bit farther, “…what…was that?”

He winked, before tweaking her again sliding about halfway inside her. “The hallmark of a gentleman.”

Extracting his arm, James slowly started to rock his hips, making sure not to plunge all the way in yet. “James. Shiiit. They lied.”

After a few more pushes, James was all the way in. Lily squirmed as he reached back in and played with her, while he worked his way back to fuller thrusts. She was moaning loudly and _sopping_ wet at this point, which he took as the all clear to begin fucking his girlfriend in earnest. He grunted and groaned himself. It wasn’t like he was very ‘experienced’ and the pleasure rose very quickly in intensity for him too. He felt her arch her back under him, almost trying to push herself up to meet him. She cried out loudly on one such occasion and he felt her seriously tighten around him. It was all he could do not to finish right then.

He managed to stay focused enough not to however, something that pleased him greatly – not nearly as greatly as she was – but he wanted their first time to last longer than five minutes. Her moans melded with his grunts as they kept going, but James could only hold on so long. He hoped he’d made it ten when Lily clenched around him again, moaning particularly loudly at about the same time he shot off. He stayed buried in her for a few more moments but rolled off and flopped himself down beside her as he started to soften.

“James…” Lily panted. “That was. God, I love you. You’re incredible.”

“Huhhhh,” James groaned as he exhaled. “ _You’re_ incredible. And that ‘I love you’ was supposed to be my line.”

“We’re pretty good together, huh?” she asked.

“ _Oh_ yeah. Fuck,” he looked over at her and they both smiled. He felt himself hardening again. “We better put our clothes on before I get any other ideas.”

The pair dressed and though it was nothing like the process of James easing Lily _out_ of her clothes before they’d shagged, James thought they probably took longer than they needed to. She walked over and got on her toes, kissing him gently on the lips. “Thank you,” she said, almost at a whisper.

“For?”

“Being patient with me. And then fucking me so good.”

James hugged her tightly and kissed her on the top of the head. “Who lied, by the way?”

“What?”

“When I first slid in, you said they lied. Who’s they?”

“Oh. Marlene and Alana who were both suddenly trying to be _my_ school parents.”

“I thought you–“

“I didn’t _today_. But we may have talked about the shagging situation a time or two,” she said, blushing.

“We both look like a mess, don’t we?”

“I always look like a mess. You…might want to use the magic mirror over there. They call it sex hair for a reason.”

Having taken a few minutes to set themselves straight, the Head Boy and Head Girl ducked back out into the corridor. Lily grabbed his hand and leaned her head on his shoulder as they walked. Merlin he loved the shit out of her. His mind wandered to his next excused training day with the Tornadoes. Dumbledore wouldn’t care if he did some shopping before coming back, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, unfortunately for those who are not fans of such scenes, whether you agree or disagree, I felt like James and Lily needed to have sex pre-proposal. It was already going to happen pre-marriage because I haven’t really given any justification whatsoever for why it wouldn’t throughout the entire story but justified holding it off a ways because of Lily’s avoidance of anything sexual since she got cheated on in fourth year.
> 
> Aside from that Ellie obviously got straight destroyed by the Death Eaters-to-be that she crossed, but Snape also got something of a comeuppance – his plans were also thwarted again – and if you noticed there was a reference to the Marauders’ Map. Not sure if this is going to be how it winds up in Filch’s possession (probably – in the context of this story and the sacrifices he’s made, I like to think he gave it up for the greater good – with his friends’ blessing).
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	70. Dreams Fulfilled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Hard hasn't ever stopped you before. I mean those library benches are almost as hard as my head.'

“Just open it already!” Marlene shouted as Lily paced their room.

Alana was crouched on her bed like some sort of monkey, with both hands clutching the nearest post, one arm wrapped around along with it. “Open it, Lily,” she said. “We all know you got in.”

“We _don’t_ know. I don’t want to open it. I can’t open it yet. I’m freaking out okay?” Lily said as she stopped and sat down on her trunk.

She had been on edge since getting the envelope in her morning mail going so far as to try and pretend she hadn’t gotten anything. James somehow seemed to know what she was thinking and left her behavior alone. If only she could say the same for his friends. Or her friends. Or just Gryffindors in general. It wasn’t that often that Lily even got mail so for her to hide it so abruptly created whispers on its own. She didn’t imagine they were bad whispers, but still. This was _life_. She was entitled to freak out about it.

“Maybe she wants to save it for _James_ …” Alana teased.

It was true that Lily had considered the fact that she was the first person – at least as far as she knew – her boyfriend had told about signing up for the draft. She’d had plenty of opportunities to show him alone but hadn’t. It was fear. She knew she’d feel awful if she got the news she had resigned herself to at this stage, but if other people were with her she’d just be drowned in sympathy. And embarrassment. She’d put so much into this and everyone knew it – she’d be completely humiliated. It wouldn’t be the same with James – she was confident of that – but she’d still feel like a miserable failure. He was a professional quidditch player and she would just be some Ministry also-ran.

She took a deep breath. “I’m going to. I have to do it alone though.”

“Don’t you dare come back here from wherever you’re going with that thing still sealed,” Marlene warned.

As she hurried through the common room she saw James sitting in the corner with his friends. His eyes caught hers and she did her best to smile. She knew it only crept onto the edge of her lips if it reached them at all. He was prank planning – that much was clear – and that was probably for the best. Yes, James planning pranks was for the best now. She had an excuse that he shouldn’t follow her.

Once in the corridor, she had no idea where to go. Real or imagined she felt eyes creeping over her from every direction. The lake. She should go to the lake.

It was a beautiful day and there were plenty of couples here, but there was also a secluded edge and Lily headed right there before pulling the envelope from inside her robes. It was made of weighty, textured paper and embossed with the Academy’s seal all in red, stamped with the Ministry’s logo on the back. Sometimes she hated wizarding letters. In the muggle world she could tell by the thickness alone, but magic meant parchment could endlessly unfold from the envelope until finished, just like her applications had.

She stuck her fingernail in the back fold and, gaining a small hold, slid her finger down slicing through the glue and Ministry logo before repeating the process on the other side.

_Miss Evans:_

_Thank you for your application to the Ministry for Magic’s Academy of Magical Development and Research. Having received a record number of applications from students both foreign and domestic, our decision-making process was even more difficult than normal._

Fuck. She let her arm down. Don’t cry. She was _not_ going to cry. This was okay. It was May. This was expected. She sniffled and rubbed the corner of her eye with her knuckle where a little water had leaked out.

_During our review of your application and required letters of recommendation from your Headmaster and Head of House we determined that your educational history, qualifications, and character made you the type of candidate that could only strengthen this year’s incoming…_

She let her arm down. She was going to cry. She was totally fucking crying. Everything thing been worth it. All the hell she’d put herself through – forcing herself to be better than even the stated standards for earning an Outstanding in her subjects. She was so happy. Tucking the letter inside the envelope and shoving the lot back into her robes. She walked toward the castle faster than she ever had.

Lily was practically panting when she got back inside the common room. James was standing with his friends now as Sirius rolled up a large piece of parchment. Before she could control herself or even really think about it, she barged between them, yanking her letter out of her robes. Forget whether it got crumpled, she threw her arms around James and crushed him in a hug before letting him go, grabbing his head, and kissing him hard.

“Look!” she shouted after stepping back an inch or two.

James smiled, pulling her into another hug. “I take it you got in,” he said as he broke the embrace.

“Yes. Yes. Yes!”

“Who told you that you were a shoe-in?”

“You. And a thousand other people. But you said it the most.”

Sirius and Remus crept into her sight on either side of James. “Congratulations,” they both said, sticking their hands out.

“Even I’m impressed, Evans,” Sirius said with a smirk.

“Shut the fuck up and let me enjoy this,” she said through laughter.

Peter squeezed in shortly after and congratulated her too.

As that group broke up, Alana and Marlene trotted up. Marlene just looked into Lily’s eyes.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I got in.”

“I hope they teach you even idiots like us can be right,” Marlene laughed before squeezing her friend in a tight hug of her own.

Alana wore a broad smile. “This is so awesome. I’m so proud of you Lily!”

A few hours later, James and Lily were making rounds. She tried to steer things away from it. She didn’t want to monopolize the conversation, but she couldn’t help it. “This…I have to pick a discipline, get supplies, and…it’s a really tight schedule. I can’t believe it.”

“You’re the best of the best, Lils. Whatever you pick you’ll knock their socks off.”

“I have to compete with people from all over the world though. It’s going to really hard.”

“Hard hasn’t ever stopped you before. I mean those library benches are almost as hard as my head.”

She smacked him on the arm playfully. “I know. I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m just _so_ excited!”

James laughed. “You’re apologizing? After I drove you mad with my packet? Please promise you’re not going to make _me_ endure the rulebook.”

“The packet comes later,” she said, “and if there is a rulebook you’re absolutely going to suffer.”

“Anything for you,” James said, leaning down to kiss her again. She looked up at him. “Anything.”

Not a week later, James was sauntering down the staircases with Peter. His wand barely stuck out from the end of his sleeve as he proceeded to draw a thin, invisible line down his right side. Peter pretended to practice a little wand-waving, ostensibly for N.E.W.T.s, but really for pointing at a step here and there to make it a spell trigger or simply a slightly raised stumbling block. They briefly stopped to chat with Remus on a landing, smiling as he walked up, doing the same thing James had. James let his eyes wander up to the top floor, where Sirius appeared to simply be gazing out over the steps below, wagging his wand idly. The basics would be set now, but tomorrow would be the grand execution. The last feast before exams would play perfectly.

As said feast commenced everything appeared to be going swimmingly – at least until each boy flicked his wand toward a different set of tables. The Ravenclaws seemed to be the first to notice.

“Hey,” Ashley Armister started – God was James delighted to have things start with her – “is anybody else cold?”

As she moved to look around, she slipped down the table into a fellow housemate, triggering the spread the transformative magic that was quickly turning the Ravenclaw benches to turn into hunks of slippery ice. As the group stood up grousing and appealing to the professors, the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins joined the Gryffindors in laughter – at least until the Slytherin benches suffered a similarly slippery fate. Their sliding was decidedly nastier however, the top of their benches turning into lake algae that stuck to their robes. And stank to high heaven. The Great Hall descended into chaos as the Hufflepuff benches turned to mudslide material and even the Gryffindor benches heated up to the temperature of a hot skillet.

Remus cast another spell, leading the roast chicken on the platters to be replaced by the choir’s frogs who proceeded to belt out the bass line of the most popular Bog Log Banshees song that kicked off from radios under the tables. As the chaos reached a fever pitch, Dumbledore finally rose from his seat and with what James thought was actually a wink, waved his wand it a broad line in front of him before poking the air which quickly reversed the source of if not the actual chaos itself.

As all four pointed their wands at the head table, Dumbledore managed to get the students back to their seats. Only from the minds of James and Sirius came their final and most audacious act yet – trying to drench the professors with a sudden waterfall. They eased the water drawn from clouds that suddenly populated the roof of the Great Hall down toward the professors – and naturally the Headmaster. As they released their hold however, Dumbledore simply lifted his wand and turning their effort into a column, shot it directly at the four of them as if from a fire hose. They each scrambled for their wands as they were blasted off the benches, equally victimizing Lily and Marlene.

Dumbledore gave an amused clap, smiling in the direction of the six Gryffindors. “I do so hate to ruin the cleverest bits of magic from our students as I often find their childhood exploration adds quite a unique perspective to our school. However, in this case, I feel I did have an obligation to our hardworking professors to ensure that this final act be redirected. Though only your examinations remain, I would, after all, be remiss if I did not take every opportunity to provide quality magical education to our seventh-year students before they depart these walls for the final time.”

“Damnit, James,” Lily snapped, “I can’t even dry my robes with the normal spells!”

“Sorry?”

“Oh, sorry is _not_ good enough. You better not have permanently ruined my clothes.”

The feast once again settled down, most of the students smiling and laughing at the drenched group. In a surprise however, the Headmaster departed the Great Hall ahead of the students, citing an urgent matter that needed his immediate attention. When Peter tried to release their magic on the staircases however, the carpets and banners all rolled out as planned and the Gryffindors celebrated the redecoration efforts of their housemates. The young boy shrugged as he tested a stumble-stair, finding it apparently removed.

Despite being sopping wet, Sirius was all smiles as they headed for the Tower. “We made _Dumbledore_ intervene! _Dumbledore!_ People can say whatever they want about the finish, but that’s a hell of an end to our run mates.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A short chapter as the main purpose was to provide a little fun with another admittedly lame prank and to deliver the last bit of set up for the final chapter. Honestly, that’ll be a little mean, but it should all work out in the end.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	71. Deferred Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was perfect. She looked perfect. He hoped he'd measure up.

James woke up after multiple dreams and was decidedly unhappy that Lily was _not_ in fact with him. As he rolled out of bed late, he saw Remus sitting in his bed reading the _Prophet_ and looking exceedingly glum, even for a transformation week. It was untimely, but he was more of a perpetual scowler when that was the problem.

He could hear banging on the door – probably what roused him – and what sounded like Sirius yelling. “Damn you, Moony! Let him eat!”

“Can you shut up, Padfoot,” James grumbled. “You woke me up.”

He looked across the room and saw flick his wand, unlocking the door before he pocketed it again and tossed James the paper.

“No!” Sirius yelled, jumping forward and tackling James as he tried to snatch the paper away.

“Get off! Quit being stupid,” James said, holding the paper in the air.

Sirius frowned. “Just eat first, mate. Otherwise you might lose your appetite.”

“I think I’ll be just fine,” James answered, sitting up and folding his legs as he looked down at the headline.

_Tarrington Dead! BIQL Season Indefinitely Suspended._

“No way,” James said, feeling dizzy and throwing the paper on the floor. “This is a shitty prank, Remus. Why would you be such an asshole?”

Sirius squatted to look James in the air and put a hand on his shoulder. “Not a prank, mate. Ministry ordered team operations suspended too.”

“No way,” James repeated. “What the fuck?” He looked down at the paper and saw the Dark Mark over an estate. “God,” he said, staring into his lap. “This can’t be happening.”

“It’s the Mark everywhere we turn,” Remus said flatly. “If it shows, they cancel it if they can.”

“It’s just suspended,” James said, trying to take at least a little heart. “They…they must just need time to appoint a new commissioner. It’s quidditch.”

“It’s _indefinitely_ suspended. You know it’s overseen by the Ministry.”

“I’m sorry, mate,” said Sirius. “I know it’s bullshit. We’ll figure it out. Says they’re working on a plan for draftees.”

James hung his head.

“Let’s eat,” Sirius said, trying to prod him toward the exit.

“I don’t want to eat,” James muttered.

Remus sighed. “He doesn’t want to eat now. I told you.”

“I…I’ve got to be alone for a bit.”

James didn’t know exactly where to go. School was over for all intents and purposes, but he didn’t want to sully anywhere with this particular memory. Under normal circumstances the fourth floor or the Room of Requirement would have been perfect choices, but they were too important now. He couldn’t go to the pitch – it was the whole problem. Empty classrooms…Hogsmeade…the Lake…it would all be tainted.

So it was that he wound up at the owlery, feeling like shit in a place full of shit. He’d gone there to owl his parents because he had to do _something_ , but it seemed reasonable to stay, sitting at the bottom of the steps with his elbow against the wall, squeezing his chin between his thumb and fingers.

After who knew how long, he saw red hair rounding the corner. He wanted to tell her to leave him alone like he had the others – being an unemployed bum was _not_ what he had planned for today. _Especially_ today. But she was also exactly what he needed right now.

“So…” she started, “…I read the paper…”

“Yeah,” James said, pulling his hand off his face and staring at the floor.

“I wish I had something to say to make you feel better, but I don’t think there’s anything I can.”

“Yeah.”

She lifted his chin to look him in the eyes. “Say something more than ‘yeah’.”

“Sorry…”

“Not ‘sorry’ either. Talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to say either. I had all these plans and…now it’s all fucked. How can I ask…how can I do anything after I put all my eggs in this basket?”

She put a hand on his leg. “You’re brilliant, James. I know you don’t feel like that right now, but you are. You’re clever and determined and brave. It wasn’t just your stupid jokes that made me fall in love with you. We’ll figure this out.”

“I don’t know how. I was supposed to do something special, but now I don’t even have a job.”

Lily moved and sat down beside him, grabbing his hand and she leaned her head on his shoulder. “I love you, James. You’re not losing that just because you lost this job you worked your ass off for.”

He turned toward her. “I love you too.”

“I’m still really proud of you. For _so_ much. You should still be proud of yourself too.”

“I guess.”

“You should,” she said, kissing him. “You’re special – and not just to me. Your friends can tell you. Professors can tell you – even if you ruined their lessons all the time. I bet Dumbledore could too. He saw it before this year even started.”

He smiled weakly. “Turned out he gave me a lot more than a badge didn’t he?”

Lily took a deep breath and leaned back against him, snuggling herself in. “He gave us both more than badges.”

A few days later, Dumbledore called both of them into his office. He wasn’t normally readable unless he was giving someone a wink, but today his shoulders were slumped a bit and his face looked somber. Even Fawkes looked sickly.

“What did you need us for, Professor?” James asked. He winced, expecting awkward silence or irritation. “I didn’t mean it to sound like that”

The old man waved his hand, dismissing James’s concerns. “There is no need for any apology. If I wanted an apology it would have been for trying to drown me along with your other professors – though I suspect you have been sufficiently reprimanded.”

“Yes, sir.”

“In any event, I called both of you here to discuss something that I believe to be vital to the future of our world.”

Lily was nervous at not just his words, but his level of emphasis. Dumbledore had just spoken with more intensity than she’d ever seen.

“Before we discuss this, it is critical that you both understand this conversation is not one those at the Ministry would sanction. Later today, the Minister will announce that he is reorganizing the Ministry for optimal function. Buried within and between the lines of any full transcript will be a clearer message – the Ministry is ceasing all non-essential operations and directing nearly all of its resources to security and security alone.”

“But Professor–“

“I expect you to receive an owl on the subject, Lily.”

Lily? “Are they relocating my program?”

James shook his head, mouth contorting in disgust. “They’re cancelling it,” he growled. “How dare they. How do they expect people to feel secure when they’re taking everything away from them?”

Lily searched James – his burning eyes and clenched chin – emphasizing his anger. “Is that true, Professor?”

Dumbledore nodded. “I am afraid it is.”

She was stunned, reeling from the news and James caught her before she rocked back too far on her feet. “But this is…it was just a few weeks ago I got my letter.”

“Unfortunately people whose lives the Ministry values more than most have fallen victim to the attacks of Voldemort and his followers. It should not be so, but when people with important titles are found dead, policies often change.”

“This really is a war, isn’t it Professor?” James asked.

“The Ministry would prefer I tell you otherwise, but I believe I owe you the truth and that truth is that the Minister and those who advise him are blinding themselves. This has been a war for quite some time and because of their own fear and their petty concerns with politics they have been far too slow to react to it.”

“Sir, I…” Lily stared at James, seeing the expression she must have given him written all over his face. “Can I – we – have a moment?”

“Of course. I will attend to some matters in my quarters.”

James followed her down as she suddenly sat in the middle of the Headmaster’s office

“I can’t believe this,” she said, tucking her knees up. “It was really just a few weeks ago. And…this?”

“I know, Lils. I never thought it would happen to _you_. It’s bullshit. Sport is one thing, but you’re doing something important. Things that matter.”

“Not anymore,” she snapped. “Apparently it isn’t important to some people. The letter said I could be part of building a better future – _that’s_ why I wanted to go you know. Not just to read more books.”

“I know.”

She turned away from him. She wasn’t even going to pretend she could stop the tears this time. Before she could escape though, James pulled her into him, putting his forehead on hers and wrapping his arms around her body. “I’m so, _so_ sorry, Lily.”

More than a minute passed as she stayed there. She hated that she was crying and needing this comfort. But somehow the quiet and his embrace felt better than words. Nothing he would’ve said right then would’ve made a difference anyway. “It’s not your fault,” she sniffed, attempting to squeeze the tears away now.

“I’m handling this wrong, aren’t I?”

“There’s not a right way,” Lily said, “but it matters to me you’re trying.”

“Hey,” he said, trying to get Lily to look up at him. “Hey.” James kissed her forehead. “Look at me. Please.”

Lily didn’t want to, but she lifted her chin and let him see her. She knew she looked pitiful, her face wet and her eyes red, hair all over the place. “Happy?”

“Yeah. I love you, Lils. Whether you’re smiling or crying…or crying from smiling. This hurts. But I’m going to be here through all of it, okay?”

She nodded. “I know. Neither of us has a job, James. Or anything.”

“Yeah we do,” he said, kissing her despite the fact that Dumbledore could walk in at any moment.

She nodded. “You’re right. We do.” Slowly they got up and Lily wiped her eyes clear. “Oh God. Professor. I didn’t –”

“Expect me back so soon?” His eyes seemed to twinkle.

“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to keep her voice straight, “I was just…shocked is all.”

“I understand. You are two of the students I have been most proud of – especially this year – you each deserve the future you planned for more than most.” Dumbledore sighed. “This is not happening the way any of us would have hoped.”

James looked at Dumbledore, whose posture and expression had returned to their normal calm, even state. “I don’t think you just called us here to apologize did you, Professor?”

Though his expression didn’t change, Lily was sure that Dumbledore was scrutinizing James. “You are once again quite right, James. I do have an ulterior motive for calling you both here. Your values – and of course your magic.”

Lily exchanged glances with James who appeared equally confused. “So…because we’re capable Gryffindors?”

“No, Lily. Because you are _exceptional_ Gryffindors who also happen to share what I believe is a common goal – the elimination of the threat Voldemort and his supporters pose to our way of life.”

“So how does that involve us? Neither of us even applied for the Auror program,” James grumbled.

“There is currently a group of like-minded witches and wizards who operate outside the Ministry’s authority. I believe each of you would be an asset to such a group. Yet, I trust that if I am mistaken any conversation about it will not leave this office.”

“Of course not,” Lily said.

“It is called the Order of the Phoenix.”

Exams over and packing complete, James coaxed Lily outside for one more walk around the grounds. So much had changed over the last few weeks. Everything had seemed so stable. He and his friends. He and Lily. He and quidditch. And now they were – apparently all except Alana – joining a fucking secret society. Well, not _everything_ had been stable. There was this whole crazy, stupid, completely idiotic thing that he was about to do. Why do it anyway? Well, he was a Gryffindor of course. But mostly because Lily was the most amazing, beautiful, incredible girl he’d ever known. It had only been six months but something deep inside told him it was time.

They simply wandered for a while, taking in the forest, the lake, the castle lit by the sunset – on a clear evening like this they could even see the lights from Hogsmeade coming on in the distance. The entire walk of course, James felt the small box practically scorching his leg from inside the pocket of his trousers. It was psychosomatic Flagrante Curse in reverse. Only when he touched the box and drew it out would it stop. Then he worried his heart might.

But where was he supposed to do it? They’d practically walked everywhere except the quidditch pitch and he’d made his peace with his last moment on that pitch being the hasty retreat he beat after firing home the goal that sent his stock through the floor. It was a great goal. And Gryffindor won. His mind sparked. They’d be coming in the opposite direction…she might not remember…or think it was remotely romantic, but it was a few yards away on that path between the castle and pitch that they’d _almost_ had their first kiss. When the very beginning of them finally waking the fuck up happened.

In front of the castle, the last of the sun blazed down on them as the shadow of the castle gate opened its maw, about to claim them. Everything was perfect. She looked perfect. He hoped he’d measure up. “Hey, Lils?” he started, stopping in the middle of the path.

“Yeah? What is it?”

The way the sun lit her hair, blazed around her robes, she was absolutely radiant. “Shouldn’t we stop here before we go in?”

“Here?” She looked around and treated him to a half-smile. “We were _so_ close then weren’t we?”

“You should’ve just kissed me, Evans. You know you wanted it.”

“ _You_ should’ve kissed _me_ , Potter. Would’ve saved us a lot of time and posturing.”

“I think it worked out alright,” he said just before kissing her.

“Me too,” she answered, smiling through his initial kiss before returning it.

She moved toward the castle, but James held her hand back. He saw her questioning look but she still came back toward him instead of trying to yank him back home. “See, I was just thinking about how we got that day wrong and…well, I don’t want to get it wrong again.”

“We just kissed,” she laughed. “Problem solved.”

“Problem not solved,” he said, taking both of her hands. “You know how much I love you right?”

“You do a pretty good job of reminding me…”

Lily’s grip was looser. She was nervous and that was making him nervous. “Well…in case you don’t, it’s unbelievably a lot. You always are, but right now, standing here, you’re so beautiful…” He knew he looked like a yearning, love-drunk idiot, but he didn’t care. Her hands fell from his, but why wasn’t going to get in his way. He was here. He knew it. He was pretty sure she knew it.

“James…”

Before she could stop him he dug out the box, the burning from the inside of his pocket moving straight into his hand. The instant he had a firm hold on, he sank down in front of her.

“James…” God she looked panicked. He was not going to panic.

“I love you, Lily. I let a moment pass between us here before. Did a good job of making sure there wouldn’t be one before that, but tonight…I can’t let that happen. You’ve been the brightest spot in all the hell we’ve been through this year. We’re leaving school and whether we’re living in heaven or fighting through hell I want to do it together.” James snapped the fingers of his off hand, opening the small box to her. “What do you say?”

Lily scowled. “I believe the proper words are ‘will you marry me’ you idiot.”

James swallowed. “Well…will you? Will you marry me Lily Evans?”

Now she nodded rapidly. He took her hand and slipped the small, simple ring on her finger. He heard her trying to sniff back tears. “Get off the ground already,” she said, threatening to break.

He popped up and pulled her in, Lily grabbing both sides of his face and kissing him hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I originally wrote this as James being even more of a complete idiot to the point where Lily had to literally snap him out of a blabbering blackout so she could answer, and while I liked that scene – and that James – in the moment, I didn’t feel it was authentic to who James is in this story. That may have neutered the impact of the proposal in terms of location, language, etc. but hopefully you still enjoyed it. Next you’ll get the real send-off and I hope you’ll stick around for it!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


	72. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I do.'

James was standing just inside the back hallway of the tiny church in Cokeworth. Wearing elegant dress robes – ones he’d taken care to ensure well-exceeded the quality of his draft day attire – he stared at the door waiting for the first set of music to start and summon he and his groomsmen – and the bridesmaids – out.

He got a jab in the back and turned around to see Sirius holding a flask and taking a drink. “Still time to duck out mate…”

“Shut. The Fuck. Up.”

“Fine,” Sirius grumbled. “Want some firewhiskey?”

“Lily does _not_ want our first kiss as husband and wife to taste of alcohol. She’s made that very clear.”

“Cut it Padfoot. We all know James is afraid he’s going to cry. He doesn’t need anymore stress,” Remus muttered.

“I’m _not_ afraid I’m going to cry, Moony.”

“Says the guy who got drunk and cried last night about how lucky he was to be marrying such an amazing, beautiful being as Lily Evans.”

“That was a private, bathroom conversation.”

“What happens at the Hog’s Head stays at the Hog’s Head…” Peter said.

“You drunkard,” Sirius laughed. “We were at The Leaky Cauldron.”

James was delighted to hear Marco’s orchestra intervene and he and his friends/tormentors. Lily had dragged him to the venue perhaps 1,796 times and by time number three he was over it. For at least today though, he could see it through her eyes – it was the greatest place on Earth.

* * *

“Am I weird?” Lily asked.

“Yes. We’ve known that since the first day we met you,” Marlene deadpanned.

Alana rolled her eyes. “It’s three minutes until you walk down the aisle. You’re running out of time to feel weird.”

“I don’t _feel_ weird, I’m just asking. I’m…you know,” she said, gesturing to herself.

“Beautiful?” Marlene said.

“Stunning?” Alana added.

“No. There’s all those weddings your family puts together, Alana. All the brides are so…”

Marlene frowned. “Overdone? I’m serious. You’re beautiful. James loves that you don’t get caught up in all that shit.”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Alana asked. “You’re totally _not_ weird. You’re you and you’re perfect.”

“Not quite perfect,” Marlene muttered. “You did pair me with Sirius Black.”

“ _Life_ paired the two of you. That’s how weddings work,” Lily said, slipping into her shoes, ready to walk down the aisle.

As her bridesmaids came out to meet their partners, Lily got the tiniest peek at James, who was standing there smiling like a goon. After all these years, _this_ was the guy she was marrying. As the moment passed she retreated into her own thoughts – memories they’d shared even before they started dating. This was the guy she was marrying and it was the best decision she’d ever made.

* * *

While the marriage demanded that a witch or wizard preside, there had been some debate about whether the magical or muggle ceremony should take place first. James had erroneously suggested that they devise some sort of magimuggle experience before being glared into submission by his fiancée. Eventually they had come to a resolution to which Lily had been amenable – which was to say the resolution that she wanted. After the magimuggle debacle, James didn’t put up much of a fight – it was after all _her_ day.

“I will now ask each of you to raise your wand.” Each followed the officiant’s instructions, holding their wands with both hands over their sternums. James was addressed first: “James Potter – your wand of mahogany is known not only for its physical sturdiness, but for the sturdiness and reliability of its wielder’s heart. Do you pledge that its magic shall always be used in support and defense of your betrothed and that your heart and magic are sworn to no other?”

“I do.”

“Lily Evans – your wand of willow is a rarity known for its ability to heal and the desire of its wielder’s heart to make the world and those around them reach their highest potential. Do you pledge that its magic shall always be used in support and defense of your betrothed and that your heart and magic are sworn to no other?”

Lily smiled. “I do.”

“Cross your wands and let them be lit by the magical bond that flows between you.”

If one inside were to relay the intensity of the brightness that followed – so bright as to cause even the bridesmaids and groomsmen to step away – the story might not be believed.

What followed was the litany of muggle vows. Though Lily had attended many weddings and thus considered them more of a rote, if not still deeply felt exercise, James had been unnaturally thrilled by them. She couldn’t deny being moved by the fervency of his two-word answers.

As they concluded she was brimming with joy as she waited for that moment – their moment – a feeling that only grew as she watched James’s – _James’s_ – eyes threatening to overload just like hers were.

They barely heard the last words before they kissed, both managing to restrain themselves from too passionate an embrace. The electricity that passed between them in such a chaste kiss was unrivalled and they both clasped hands, making their way into the afternoon sun as their hearts swelled still larger with thoughts of a long and happy life shared together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So that’s the conclusion of the story! Obviously there’s a bit of tragedy in knowing how things turn out and I tried, honestly, to layer some of that into the language used at various points here – especially the ending that kind of beats you over the head with it. 
> 
> I know our journey together has been a long one, but I’m so grateful for all of you that took it with me. Hopefully if you made it here you wound up satisfied. Thanks you all for reading! If you enjoyed the story, please leave a like if you haven’t already and review below!


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